Tweets

  1. Calculating which combination of organs to sell to pay for your winter gas bill

  2. All I remember is Walter Payton sweating on rumours of my arrival in Chicago.

  3. Come off it Vlad - we've all shot a sneaky glance at the borscht with a bit too much beetroot in it & drooled

  4. The lads were complaining that there was nothing on TV so I offered to get my Foyle's War DVD but they said they'd rather keep Splash on.

  5. He came up to my afterwards and tried to persuade me to sign up. 'No chance', I told him 'I'm joining the Chicago Bears as a wide receiver.'

  6. I remember beating Martin Offiah in a sprint challenge when doing try outs for Wigan Warriors.

  7. Liverpool named in top 3 cities in world to visit in 2014, see this year's culture highlights:

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