Today's Woot Write-up
Hey, you Mister G? What's up, I'm Gary, from the Ministry of Cable Installation. I'm here about your telescreen stand.
Hey, before we start, what time did Minischedge tell you I was going to be here? Between 10am and noon? Hey, that can't be right, because it's now 4:15pm, and I was always coming at 4:15pm! They must have meant 10am Eurasian time. Yeah, glad you agree. You and me, we're the kind of proles that'll get along just fine.
Anywho, where's the telescreen? Oh, right, I see it, over there on your snazzy Bush Corner TV Stand. What is that, a 50" model? Let me just- oof! Gettin' old! -just take a peek and… oh, yeah, I see the back wire management ports. That's gonna save wear and tear on your cables for sure. Very responsible, I gotta say. Might earn yourself an extra fourth of a chocolate ration for this.
But I gotta say, this ain't gonna work with our model. See that dead spot over there? Yeah, you probably missed it, but I'm a trained professional. SNOOOOORT sorry, got a little nose thing goin' on. But I'm trained, and I can see there's a 1x1 space where maybe you could stuff a couple books or seditious papers or a treasonous cat or something. Hey, I ain't sayin' you did it, you know? I'm just sayin'. Anyway, we gotta get you a second telescreen to watch that corner over there.
Hey, but don't worry. Check out this sweet Bush Segments 60" TV Stand! Yeah, looks nice, right? That's cherry, and there's a drop down shelf where you could keep your remote if you had one. Of course, these telescreens never turn off. But don't you worry, Mister G! I'll fix 'em up so they're more or less completely in sync with each other! Wait until you hear how good it'll sound! Oh, man, you'll LOVE Big Brother!