The Pool Petz are not inflatable! They are full of tiny beads! So, please, don't try to inflate them. They won't appreciate it at all.

Fun in the pool is usually like a blimp ride. It's enjoyable until someone squeezes too hard, and then there's a popping noise, and then everyone is crying and yelling "Oh, the humanity!" And that's because a person simply can't put their trust in any of the gases on the periodic table. There's too much drama and intrigue! Too much politics!

But beads, well! They're another story! This country was founded on beads! Literally, we're not making that up, it was like ten bucks worth of beads or something, started the whole thing off. And look how well America is doing today! Face it, beads are a thing you can trust.

This summer, say good-bye to invisible forces that fill those lungs you've never actually seen and may not even exist. This summer, embrace the bead! And embrace your choice of Pool Petz too.

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