Q&As

I'm (16m) my parents youngest kid and the only kid the name based on what they liked vs what the family wanted them to name us. My siblings were all named after family members like both my dad's and mom's families prefer. By the time they got around to having me they were live fuck this shit and told their family they were choosing a name based on what they liked and not based on family. So they named me Sunny. Yeah, the "girl version" of Sonny. I don't care. I don't think Sunny is girly because it has a u vs an o. But anyway.

My parents started to regret my name when I was maybe 10? I don't remember exactly when but I can remember being about 10 and my parents started sometimes calling me by my middle name and only stopping when I told them it was weird and I liked my first name. When I was 13 they asked me if I ever went by a nickname and I said no.

Last year they said some kids change their names before graduating high school because they want something more grown up and they want to save the added expense of changing the name on their degree. I was like oh, I guess if people want that it makes sense. Then I said it must suck to hate your name.

Six months ago my parents said I look like a James nicknamed Jamie. I asked them why they thought that and they said I just had that look. They asked what I thought of the name and I said I like Jamie but prefer Sunny. Then they asked if I liked the name Luke and I said no.

In June they asked me if I would consider letting them change my name to something different. They said they feel like they named me as a big fuck you to their families but felt bad that I had such an unserious name for a man. I told them I didn't want to change my name and I always loved the way they talked about finding my name. They said their feelings had changed and they felt like the name being cute and light and full of hope wasn't great for going into my adult years. They said they deeply regretted it. I told them I was glad they made the choice they did and they shouldn't stress it. But last week they got the paperwork for a legal name change and presented me with like three name choices and asked me to pick. They said they really didn't want to live with the guilt. I told them I'm not changing my name because of their name regret. I told them how I feel about my name is more important now. They told me I should at least think of their feelings and that I should consider the future and whether I'll be taken seriously.

AITA?

I was on a first date with a woman who said she was 32 that I met on an online dating site. I met her at the restaurant and the first thing that I noticed was she looked very little like her pictures. I wouldn't call it a catfish but she did wonders with her angles choices and usages of filters to present her self as best as possible in her profile. The deception instantly turned me off but I decide to proceed with the date anyways.

After our drinks arrive but before our food arrives while, getting to know each other she tells me she has 5 kids! I know from our brief online interaction that she has never been married so I pretty bluntly ask if they all have the same father and she says no. She doesn't say how many baby Daddy's she has unprompted so I bluntly ask "with how many men" and she seemed embarrassed to answer then says 3. My response was "wow" and we both sat there in silence for about 30 seconds as I desperately try to not burst out into laughter, I'm not sure why I found the situation so funny maybe it was a nervous tick. I tell her "I don't see this going anywhere", leave enough money on the table for my drink and the food I ordered and walk out without any further conversation.

I wanted to say you should disclose you have 5 kids with 3 different men on your profile to prevent from wasting people's time but I didn't want to add insult to injury knowing I was about to walk out of and I suppose I could have asked before meeting her.

I (M20) and my boyfriend (FTM21) have been together for almost two years. Recently, he came out as trans female to male to me and his closest friends. Since he is still only studying and his parents aren't supportive, but I already have a job, I've offered to pay for his treatment. Some weeks ago we talked and I told him that since I'm not into men, maybe we should break up. I offered to keep paying for his testosterone until he can pay for it himself, but he got angry and called me a transphobe.

Am I really a transphobe? I tried my best to be gentle and told him we didn't need to break up immediately, if he didn't want to, but just that we should probably start to slowly stop dating. Also sorry if some of these sentences don't make sense, english isn't my first language.

I (58F) have a daughter, Sarah (28F), who just had her first baby a couple of months ago with her husband, Mark (30M). Both of them work good-paying jobs, and between the two of them, they make more money than my husband and I ever did while raising our kids. They have a beautiful home, nice cars, and no real financial issues that I can see. They are literallly upper middle class. My husband and I are retired now, living on a modest income, but we get by just fine.

Ever since the baby was born, they have hinted that they can’t do things like going out to eat and whatnot. Recently Sarah and Mark have been asking me for help. They’ve asked me to cover groceries a few times, help with baby supplies, and even pitch in for some home repairs because they’re “tight on money” from all the baby expenses.

Last week, Sarah called me and asked if I could give them some money for baby formula and diapers. I know those things can be expensive, but the way she was talking made it sound like they were on the verge of financial ruin. I finally had enough and told her that they need to stop acting like they’re poor. They make more money than we ever did, and when I had my kids, I didn’t get any financial help from anyone. We managed on a lot less and without any handouts. That they should sell their third car if they are in such a bind.

She got really upset and accused me of not caring about my grandchild and not understanding how expensive everything is these days. I told her they could afford to handle things on their own, and maybe they should stop spending money on luxuries if they’re struggling so much. I know for a fact she gets Starbucks each morning. Sarah hung up on me and called me a jerk

She has involved the family and people think I am being a shitty grandparent and others agreeing with me

My husband (29M) and I (27F) got married two months ago. We decided early on that we wanted a child-free wedding. Not because we don’t like kids, but because we wanted a more adult atmosphere with no distractions. We made this clear on the invitations, and most guests were completely fine with it. We even provided a list of trusted babysitters in the area for those who needed it.

My cousin (26F) has a 1-year-old daughter, and when she got the invitation, she called me to ask if she could bring her baby. I explained that we were keeping it strictly child-free, and she could either leave her baby with her husband (who wasn’t attending) or use one of the sitters. She was upset but eventually said she understood.

Well, the day of the wedding comes, and guess who shows up with her baby? I immediately pulled her aside and asked what was going on. She said the babysitter canceled last minute and she didn’t have another option, so she had no choice but to bring the baby. I sympathized but told her she couldn’t stay with the baby. I offered to have someone help find another sitter or even arrange for her to attend the reception without her daughter, but she refused and said she wanted to stay for the whole event.

When I insisted, she got upset, saying I was being heartless and unreasonable. In the end, I had to ask her to leave. Now, some family members are calling me a bridezilla, saying I should’ve been more flexible, especially since it was a “family emergency.” My cousin has barely spoken to me since. My husband and I stand by our decision, but I’m starting to feel guilty.

AITA?

English is not my first language.

My daughter and stepdaughter who are both 14 go to the same school.

A few days ago my stepdaughter called my wife when she was at school. She was crying and asking her to pick her up. Apparently at school she noticed that people were laughing when looking at her and eventually someone told her that her jeans groin is torn and that is why people are laughing.

Now she and my wife are both convinced that my daughter must be the one responsible for it even though they have no proof and demand that I should punish her.

I told them that this is truly stupid and I'm not punishing my child. Jeans can get torn on their own, it doesn't have to be someone's fault, plus it will be a good lesson for her to check her clothes before wearing them. She has a habit of sleeping late and then waking up 10 minutes before she has to leave, put on the first clothes that she finds and wear them quickly so she has no one to blame but herself.

I (26F) graduated from college a couple of years ago. I worked my butt off to get through school, juggling scholarships, loans, and part-time jobs to pay for everything on my own. My dad (55M) remarried when I was 18, and I have a half-brother (17M) who’s about to graduate high school.

Recently, my dad asked if I could help out with my brother’s college expenses because he and his wife didn’t save up for it. He said I should be able to afford it now that I have a full-time job, and because I “got lucky” with scholarships, it would only be fair if I helped my brother since “family helps family.”

I love my brother, but I told my dad I can’t be responsible for his education, especially when I had to figure everything out on my own. My dad didn’t give me any financial support during college, so I don’t see why it’s suddenly my responsibility now. He got mad, called me selfish, and now both my stepmom and brother are giving me the cold shoulder.

I feel guilty because my brother has nothing to do with this, but at the same time, I just started my career and am trying to build a life of my own.

AITA for saying no to helping pay for my brother’s education?

I work at a small company where vacation time is pretty limited, and we have to request it months in advance. I put in my request almost a year ago to take a two-week vacation during the holidays. My plan was to visit family, who live out of the country, something I only get to do once every few years.

Recently, a coworker of mine, who’s getting married, came up to me and asked if I’d be willing to give up my vacation days so she could go on her honeymoon. She apparently didn’t realize how quickly the days would fill up and waited too long to request her time off. Now, the only way she can go is if someone cancels, and since I have one of the longest vacation blocks, she came to me first. I told her I was really sorry, but I can’t give up my time. This trip means a lot to me, and it’s the only time I can see my family this year. She wasn’t happy and told me I was being selfish for not accommodating her "once-in-a-lifetime" event. Now, a few other coworkers are chiming in, suggesting I could be more flexible since I don’t have "special circumstances" like a wedding.

I feel bad, but I also planned this trip far in advance, and it’s important to me. AITA for not giving up my vacation so she can go on her honeymoon?

My wife and I have been married for 16 years and together for 20. We have a daughter who’s 15.

Last month, my wife confessed to cheating on me in a one night stand during a business trip. She was really remorseful about everything, and promised every possible reconciliation step. But this was obviously a huge shock and heartbreak to me and I needed time to think about it. I went back and forth a lot on whether I wanted to leave my wife.

There was obviously a lot of tension in the house and our daughter noticed it and asked questions but we were just quiet about everything. However, after taking 3 weeks to think about it, I decided I wanted to make it work given my wife would follow all the reconciliation steps. However, I also told my wife she had to tell our daughter what she did, and that our daughter deserved to know the truth. 

My daughter was really close with her, and my wife was really hesitant about it as she was worried this would damage their relationship. However, I told my wife given her moral failings, she had to do this as a test of her character (i.e being truthful), if she wanted to stay in this relationship.

After taking a couple of days to think about it, my wife told our daughter everything that happened. It hasn’t affected their relationship too much, as far as I can notice, which makes me happy, but my daughter does seem a bit more reserved towards her mom.

Was I the AH?

I (33F) have been married to my husband (34M) for 8 years, and we have two beautiful children together (6F and 4M). Up until recently, I thought we had a good marriage. We’ve had our ups and downs, but nothing that ever made me think he was unhappy or that our relationship was falling apart.

A few months ago, my husband sat me down and told me that he’s gay and has only recently realized it. He said he needs to live his truth and wants a divorce. I was blindsided. I never saw this coming, and I feel like my entire world has been flipped upside down. I understand that this is a big moment for him, and I want to be supportive, but I’m also hurt, angry, and heartbroken.

Here’s where things get worse. Not only is he asking for a divorce, but he’s also trying to take almost everything in the process. He’s the main breadwinner in our family, and because of that, he’s arguing that he should get most of our assets, including the house. We both contributed to our savings and household, but since his salary is higher, he feels entitled to more.

And if that wasn’t enough, he’s also filing for full custody of our kids. He says he’s been a very involved father, which is true, but I’m just as involved, if not more. I’ve been the primary caregiver since they were born. Yes, I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression in the past, but I’ve worked hard to manage it and be there for our children. Now he’s using that against me to try and take them away.

I feel like he’s not just ending our marriage, but he’s ripping my entire life apart. I get that he’s going through a lot, but I don’t think it’s fair that he’s trying to take everything—our home, our savings, and, worst of all, our children. I feel like he’s being selfish, trying to secure his future at the expense of mine and the kids’. It’s like I’m being punished for something I had no control over.

He says I’m being unreasonable for not wanting to let him take the lead in the divorce or for being upset about what he’s asking for. He claims he’s trying to be fair, but I can’t help but feel like I’m being taken advantage of.

So, AITA for being upset that my husband wants a divorce, is trying to take most of our assets, and is fighting for full custody of our kids? Or am I overreacting because I’m emotional right now?

Update: I’m receiving a lot of negative messages from the subreddit and in my inbox, so I won’t be responding further to keep my situation private. I just wanted to seek advice. Thank you to everyone who has offered guidance on what to do next.

I visited New York this summer and noticed something that surprised me. I saw many people, who I assume were nurses or hospital staff, walking around on the streets in their blue, green or purple one work uniforms (scrubs). (so much color omg, one color = one type of nurse ?)

Where I'm from, this isn't common at all. It made me wonder:

1. Is this a normal practice in the US?

2. Doesn't this raise hygiene concerns? I would think wearing clothes from a hospital environment out in public could spread germs.

3. Are there any rules or guidelines about this?

I'm genuinely curious to understand this practice. Thanks for any insights you can provide!

My little girl is 7 and just isn't wrapping her head around this and I need to find a better way to explain this.

She is so so smart because she saw the coverage of Helene, and heard 17" and hot confused.

I told her the water runs from the high places to the low places, but then she asked why the water doesn't leave the low places and why is it still flooded.

I'm bad at dumbing things down.

----------- I have been helped vvvvv

Tank you everyone! I got some great ideas for our upcoming homeschooling curriculum for our littles since this seems like such a fun topic to dive into with them :)

I also learned a little bit too.

I live in a desert where we flash flood regularly every rainy season. The water only ever leaves once it washes away through rivers and culverts. Most of them are natural but some of them are artificial. We get floods multiple times a year, and areas that are prone to flooding we simply don't build houses. We also live in a region that is fairly heavily sloped so water drains away within a day.

It didn't cross my mind that there are probably bowl shaped areas in other parts of the country that don't flood regularly because the soil can accommodate the water. Now these places are fricked due to the water volume.

We did a whole unit on geology earlier this year where we learned about underground water, stone varieties, and cave system so the wife and I are excited to get some learning materials on more above ground stuff.

I live with my girlfriend, we have a two bedroom apartment but the second bedroom is more of a box room so it can't actually fit a bed so I use it as an office as I work from home.

At the weekend my girlfriend and I had plans to go for food then the cinema. She invited her cousin which I was fine with. The plan was to pick her cousin up, go for food, go to the cinema and then drop her off at home. When the movie finished my girlfriend asked her cousin if she wanted to stay over. Her cousin is 17.

Her cousin said yeah and my girlfriend asked me if I'd sleep on the sofa. I said that her cousin can have the sofa but my girlfriend got annoyed and said her cousin should have the bed. She said her cousin is a guest so shouldn't have the sofa but I just said that I live there so I shouldn't be on the sofa.

I said my girlfriend is the one who decided to ask her cousin to stay over so I shouldn't have to give up my bed. My girlfriend said I was being unreasonable and that it would be wrong to give her cousin the sofa but I refused to change my mind.

AITA for not sleeping on the sofa in my own home?

I (27F) am an avid cosplayer, my girlfriend (28F) and I go to all conventions we can and have a lot of fun making our costumes together and prepping for the year. Three Months ago I, my girlfriend, and my cousin (30F) went around charity shops looking for pieces we could turn into cosplays. My cousin isn't a cosplayer but she tagged along as she likes a good bargain hunt. In the third shop we went to we found in the window an old school wedding dress, it had a few stains and minor rips but all in all was in good condition.

My Girlfriend and I joked with my cousin that she should buy it for her wedding but she turned her nose up at it stating she wanted brand new and she'd not be caught dead in an old fashioned dress. We let it go and my Girlfriend was the one to point out to me if we did some alterations it'd be a perfect dupe for Sarah's ballgown in Jim Hensons Labyrinth which is our favourite movie. I realised she was right and asked her if she wanted to make this our next major matching costume. She agreed for the convention season of 2025 we will be Jareth and Sarah.

I bought the dress and my cousin made a few jokes about it but we heard nothing back from her, not until two days ago. I've been posting progress of my dress on social media and it's finally done and looks amazing. My cousin told me she'd not found a dress she likes and i've done wonders with this dress, that she'd changed her mind and she'd be happy to meet the price i'd paid (£150) and even throw in an extra £100 for my time fixing it up. I laughed and asked if she was joking, she told me she was deadly serious and I told her that wasn't happening. This led to a fight and I was getting annoyed, my girlfriend took the phone at this point and told her she had her chance to get the dress, and that it's a cosplay now not a wedding dress.

We've since been bombarded by my family trying to get in contact, some pleading, some trying to cajole and others straight up berating us for not letting my cousin buy the dress or even better yet being a good cousin and gifting it to her, that I shouldn't turn a charity shop wedding dress into a costume as it stopped brides who really needed it having it.

I'm getting stressed and upset with this and my girlfriend is currently fielding any calls we get and telling them off for upsetting me. She's a wonder and I am so grateful to have her with me for this.

AITA though? I am starting to worry because of the widespread reaction. This is the first time i've bought a wedding dress to convert like this but it was already damaged and i've brought it back to life surely it's better than it being ignored like it was?

My dad left my mom when I (15M) was 10 because my mom cheated and dad found out my half sister, who was 2 months old at the time, wasn't his. He did a DNA test to check btw. My parents fought a lot about dad leaving and when he was doing divorce stuff he asked to be taken off my half sister's birth certificate and they fought in court about my dad wanting to sever ties with my half sister. Mom wanted him to take care of both of us. He only wanted me. Dad won.

My parents have 50/50 custody of me. My mom doesn't know who my half sister's dad is. I heard her admit she cheated a lot and had one night stands with guys she didn't even know the name of. It broke my dad because I had another sister who was stillborn when I was like 6 and dad questions whether she was his or whether he grieves for another man's kid. I heard them argue about this stuff at the time.

I'd rather live with my dad. I hate my mom for destroying our family. I hate her for having a kid with someone else. But I also hate her because she tries to get me to make up for my half sister not having a dad. She's always asking me to take more of an interest in my half sister and to not say half and to be the male role model she needs. She also told me I could talk to dad about how unfair it is that he loved her for two months and then abandoned her and that he was wrong. She told me he did a DNA test on me so maybe he would have left me too and didn't I think that would be wrong after 10 years so why isn't it wrong that he did it to my half sister.

Before I left for my dad's house mom and I got into a fight and I told her I won't let her turn me into my half sister's dad because she's a cheater. Mom yelled at me and she sent me dozens of texts since Friday night demanding I apologize and do better and saying I'm taking marriage issues out on her and my half sister.

AITA?

So like the title says, I had a birthday recently and thought it’d be a fun one time thing to have an escort over. After reaching out to a very select few women I decided against it and just didn’t respond anymore. I had a random guy start texting me two days ago sending pics of decapitated corpses and such saying he’s going to murder my entire bloodline for “wasting his girls’ time.” I kind of would like to go to the police but want to know if the reason that the guy is reaching out and threatening me would implicate me and get me in any trouble. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you.

I (17F) have a cousin, “Lily” (17F), who’s dyslexic. We’re both in the same WHAP (ap world history) class. Lily has always struggled with school because of her dyslexia, but she gets accommodations like extra time for assignments and tests. Our teacher is aware of her situation and has been pretty understanding.

Last week, we had a big test in the class, and it was really important for our grade. During the test, Lily kept trying to get my attention and quietly asked if she could copy my answers. She said she didn’t understand some of the questions because they were too difficult for her to read, even with the accommodations she had.

I felt bad, but I didn’t want to risk getting both of us in trouble. Our teacher is strict about cheating, and I’ve been working really hard this year because I need good grades for a scholarship. I whispered back that I couldn’t help her and that she should ask the teacher for more help. She got upset and kept glaring at me for the rest of the test.

Later, Lily didn’t do well on the test and got a low grade. Now she’s mad at me, saying I should have helped her because I know she has a hard time with reading. My aunt called me and said I should’ve been more understanding because of Lily’s dyslexia, and that I made her feel humiliated by not helping.

I explained that I didn’t want to cheat and get us both in trouble, but my aunt said I should’ve found a way to help, even if it was just a few answers. Some of my family agrees with her, but I still think it wasn’t my responsibility to break the rules, even though I understand Lily has extra challenges. AITA?