So, I (32F) have been clean for almost three years now after struggling with drug addiction. It's been a rough road but I'm proud of how far I've come. Most of my family have been supportive, but some... not so much.

My cousin, Emily (28F), and I aren’t that close. We get along, but it’s not like we talk often or anything. A few months ago, my family threw me a small birthday party. I was feeling really good about it, I mean, I’ve been through a lot and I was finally in a place where I could enjoy being around people again.

Everything was going fine until it was time for cake. Emily walks in, all smiles, holding a cake that says “Congratulations on Recovering from Drugs!” in big bright letters. I felt like my heart dropped. It was so embarrassing. I mean, yeah, everyone there knew about my recovery, but it wasn’t something I wanted plastered all over a cake at my birthday party.

Some people laughed awkwardly, and I could tell a few of my family members were just as uncomfortable as I was. Emily, though, acted like it was the funniest thing in the world. She said it was “just a joke” and she thought it’d be a “funny way to acknowledge my progress.” I tried to keep it together, smiled through it, but inside I was hurt and pissed.

Afterwards, I pulled her aside and told her the cake was completely out of line. She kinda rolled her eyes and said, “Oh come on, it was just a joke, you’re being too sensitive! I was just trying to show I’m proud of you.” I explained that my recovery isn’t something I want joked about, especially not in front of people, but she didn’t seem to get it at all. She just shrugged and moved on, like it was no big deal.

Now her wedding is coming up in a few weeks, and I really don’t want to go. I’m still hurt over what happened, and I just feel like she doesn’t respect my boundaries. It’s a big family event though, so if I don’t go, everyone’s going to notice and ask why. But honestly, I don’t want to sit through the whole thing pretending everything is fine when it’s not.

I told my mom how I felt, and she said I’m overreacting. She thinks Emily’s joke was dumb but harmless, and that skipping the wedding would just cause drama for no reason. She keeps telling me to just let it go and not make things awkward, but I don’t know if I can.

I feel like this is more than just about the cake. It’s about the fact that Emily doesn’t seem to respect my recovery or my feelings. Am I really supposed to just get over it for the sake of “family peace”?

So, AITAH for not wanting to go to my cousin’s wedding after she brought a cake making fun of my recovery at my birthday?