this is a community like r/AmITheAsshole except unlike that subreddit here you can post interpersonal conflicts, anything that's AITA but is not allowed there even posting about Scar from the lion king and trying to convince redditors that he was not the AH. rules: don't berate others and no pornography we have children here
So this happened last weekend at my 30th birthday. Just for context, I (F) have been sober for the past 8 months. I used to struggle with drinking, it got bad for a while but I’ve worked really hard to get sober and stay that way. It hasn’t been easy at all but I'm proud of how far I’ve come. Pretty much everyone in my close circle knows about my sobriety, and for the most part, they’ve been supportive. Everyone except my cousin “Emily”.
Emily has always been kind of a wild card in the family. She’s one of those people who think that everyone else is too uptight and always insists people “relax” and have fun. She’s made comments before about how I’m “no fun” anymore since I stopped drinking and how I’m being “dramatic” about it, but I always just tried to brush it off.
Anyway, fast forward to my birthday party. I had some friends over, nothing huge, and I specifically made mocktails for myself and a few other friends who don’t drink. The night was going great, I was feeling good and everyone seemed to be having a nice time.
That’s when things started feeling off. At first, I couldn’t figure it out, but I started feeling this familiar light-headedness, and the room got that kind of hazy warmth. I hadn’t felt like that since I stopped drinking and it freaked me out. My heart sank. I was like, no way...but then I tasted my drink and realized something was wrong.
I confronted Emily, and at first, she acted all innocent. But then she laughed and said, “Come on, it’s your birthday! Live a little. I only put a bit in, what’s the harm?” I couldn’t believe it. I was furious. She knew I was recovering and she put alcohol in my drinks anyway, without telling me!
I completely lost my temper and yelled at her to get out. She kept laughing, like it was some big joke, but when I wouldn’t back down, she got annoyed and said I was “ruining the party.” She stormed off, and I felt this mix of anger and betrayal like, how could she do that to me? After she left, a couple of people told me maybe I overreacted, that she was just trying to have fun, and I should’ve let it go, but I just couldn’t. I’ve worked so hard to stay sober and she could’ve completely derailed that.
Now I’m sitting here wondering if I was too harsh or if I should’ve handled it better. Some people are saying I took it too far but I honestly feel like she crossed a huge line. AITA?