Q&As

Sharon's been gone now for an hour. Breakup is official, I have the ring back. I did talk to Michelle via Facebook and Michelle said her and Octavia were cousins of Sharon, and Michelle also said she knew 'the six' and didn't care for them. Michelle didn't say much more than that. I did meet Sharon's parents, and they both seemed to like me, and the topic of Michelle and Octavia never came up around them.

None of our finances were intermingled(yet) but it was planned for later this month, which won't happen.

I invited three of our mutual friends, Casey, John, and Mike, to be here when Sharon got here. Sharon showed up and was surprised to see we had company. I said they were here for both of our sakes. Sharon wanted to phone three of the six to come over to 'even things out' and I refused, and I used the club theft as a reason.

Sharon sat on the couch very dramatically and then asked if I really wanted to make this public. I outright asked why she changed so much after the engagement, and why she hid the existence of the six. Sharon then went in again about how she insulates her inner circle until a partner is vetted. I called BS; I met her parents, what's more inner circle than your parents?

Sharon tried to deflect but I wouldn't have it. I pointed out how for the last month, her friends dropping by cost me nearly $500 in wine, which she by the way made no attempt to reimburse. I also pointed out her trying to make me pay an 8 person dinner bill without asking me first. She again said she wanted to show 'how great a guy' I was, and how she clearly misjudged me and was disappointed in my attitude.

I then asked about the clubs. She tried gaslighting with "you totally said it was ok, remember?" and I kept saying bullshit. Mike piped in; he knew the clubs were a gift from my dad and I was highly protective of them. He too called BS, and that's when Sharon turned her attention to Mike and John, saying "Isn't he getting forgetful lately? Don't you remember when he forgot that one date?" and neither was buying it.

I finally said that forget postponing the wedding or cancelling the engagement, the entire relationship is going to end if she isn't going to be straight with me. Sharon made a very long exaggerated sigh. She took the ring off and dropped it on the coffee table. She got up to leave and said "You're never going to find someone as good as me" and to send her stuff to her apartment.

She left, and Casey, John and Mike were totally stunned. All I could say was "Believe me now?" We ordered pizza and are waiting for it to arrive now. I am still utterly shocked and confused by Sharon's attitude. I'm sure the heartbreak will come next, but right now, I'm just kind of numb?

My son 4 loves this color sorting game on his tablet. You take people that are different colors (rainbow colors) and put them in cars or busses that are that same color.

My SIL babysat him and took his tablet away and said the game was teaching him micro aggression by sorting people in busses by color and how could I be ok with a game like that.

I rolled my eyes at her saying it is a game and it’s teaching him number, colors, and grouping. There’s not one thing that’s wrong with that.

She said the history with grouping people by colors on busses speak for themselves and I should know better by encouraging my son to play that game.

I told my Husband that is the last time I’m allowing his crazy ass sister to watch or child because she prioritizes the dumbest fucking things.

My Husband thinks I’m overreacting and his sister could use the extra money (we paid her $25 an hour) and we could use date nights. I told him we would find someone else because I don’t want to be lectured about games my child plays whenever I have to interact with someone and it just puts a damper on our date nights if I have to end it by hearing his sister speak.

Edit to include rainbow people and price

Edit 2: My SIL and husband are white. I'm Korean (2nd Generation American)

About a year ago my husband made a friend a work, Jane, who is honestly the worst. I don't have the word count needed to explain why, but ask if you want/need to know. I met her at a work event his company had and she introduced herself by hugging my husband's arm and saying "it's so nice to finally meet his home wife, I'm his work wife".

My husband had enough sense to push her away and annouce she was in no way his wife but after that she essentially blamed me for "wrecking" her friendship with him. Apparently they used to have lunch (sometimes with colleagues, sometimes alone) and got drinks after work sometimes (with colleagues) but he stopped after that. I never had to ask him to. I told him he could hang out with her if he wanted but he said he could tell it would cause problems and it wasn't worth it.

Jane started telling people I was controlling, jealous, and often bullied her when we were alone. I've never been alone with her. Recently she met one of my friends, Kate, and Kate decided she was the nicest girl ever. I warned Kate that Jane had a pick me vibe but Kate started yelling that she never wanted to believe what Jane said about me but since I immediately bad mouthed her, everything else must be true too. This shocked me but I didn't fight because maybe it was true? Maybe I was just jealous and scared and my dislike was just a reaction. My husband said it wasn't and he thought I had a right to dislike her.

A couple weeks ago it got out that Jane and Kate's husband were having an affair. Kate had introduced them, desite my husband saying that she probably shouldn't. Kate blamed this on him always defending me. When Kate demanded her husband end it with Jane, he ended it with Kate instead, kicked her out of the house, and moved Jane in. Jane apparently told Kate she could use her apartment until the lease is up because they're friends. She's a housewife, her money is her husband's and he cut her off, so I got her a hotel for the week while she disputes that. I've woken up everyday to calls and texts from Kate crying about the whole thing. She kept saying she never could've guessed Jane would do this. I told her, I showed her messages Jane had sent me, and Kate had just cut me off.

Yesterday I'd finally had enough, partially because Kate had practically ghosted me when I warned her about Jane, and started agreeing that I was being petty. Normally I'd always support Kate no matter what but I felt betrayed too and now she's back because Jane's a jerk? So I might be the AH here cause I asked her to stop talking about it for 10 minutes so I could breathe. To talk about anything else to distract herself. She got mad. I said I understood it was bad but it also didn't feel fair to me because I warned her, she made her own choices, and honestly had it coming for ignoring obvious red flags.

Now many of our friends are saying that was too harsh and unsupportive but why should I sugar coat common sense? So AITH?

EDIT: I've noticed a few questions repeated in the comments so I'll quickly try to explain.

The "work wife" is not when I stopped liking Jane. This moment was a test of my husband's character, not hers. She should like my husband. Everyone should. He's a 12/10. He's not only beautiful and kind but he's weirdly fascinating. He looks like Chris Hemsworth, Zac Efron, and Ryan Reynolds had a beautiful angel baby who somehow has the personality of an intellectual Patrick the Star (Spongebob). This is a weird description but it makes so much sense when you meet him.

His face and personality are so contradictory that if you talked to him online, you'd think you were being catfished. Last night at dinner he spent 1.5 hours discussing his favourite type of rock. He's not a geologists. He doesn't have a rock collection. This is not a normal part of our conversations. I said "hey baby, how was your day?" And he said "fine, you know what my favourite type of rock is?" And that was dinner, and yet somehow I was enthralled the whole time. He is so hardworking, he's so smart, and so dedicated he'll succeed in any job he does. Everyone loves him as they should. I'd honestly rant about him for hours, he's my favourite type of rock.

But onto the main point, this man does not have social cues (that might explain the rocks idk). If she had not said the actual words "work wife" there's no chance he would've caught on. I'm saying this because her games were so obvious that even my beautifully ignorant husband was able to catch on. I started disliking her because of her actions, her words, and the way she talked about people and things. It was always very nasty. Kate's personality has changed drastically since spending time with her.

I found out about their friendship after it had already started a while before. Kate brought Jane to bookclub my friends host. Kate met Jane at our pilates studio. Jane told me my husband told her she should go there because I do, but after reading some of your comments I think I'll actually ask him about that. I never saw Jane at pilates but I might not have noticed her. I switched to the 6am class after getting a new job, Jane stayed in the 8am class because she didn't want to wake up at 5am (fair).

This is important: Kate and her husband have different stories about what's happening.

Kate says she caught them having an affair. She demanded her husband end the affair, he said no. And said that if she didn't allow it, she needed to leave because he wanted Jane to move in. Kate refused so he told her to leave. Jane offered her apartment but Kate refused. Her husband has cut off all her cards and access to the bank because she refused.

Her husband says Jane is having a hard time right now due to relationship issues and wanted to stay with friends. He agreed to let her stay with them but Kate got jealous, accused then of having an affair, and decided to leave on her own because he refused to kick Jane out during her hard time. Jane felt bad and offered to let Kate stay at her apartment until Jane feels better. Kate refused because she's entitled and is now just demanding money because she's an angry gold digger.

Both stories sound fun. Neither actually have anything to do with me.

Yes, has hired a lawyer, but since she refuses to divorce him (she thinks they'll work it out) and she refuses to sue or press charges (that might damage their chances of getting back together), her lawyer has very few options to actually help her. Her husband is also a lawyer but I think he does corporate law. Still, he knows what he needs to say and do to lose as little as possible if he choses to divorce.

Also, for the people saying my husband should report to HR. I won't say you're wrong, but I can't imagine my husband will. He doesn't want to be a part of the drama, that's part of the reason we got her a hotel rather than letting her stay in our spare bedroom. In hindsight I'm kind of glad because I would've said yes and I know she's going through a hard time but it's so much negativity that even my workplace has started to notice something is bothering me. Also some of the comments are making me question the friendship entirely.

I can try to update if anything happens but I can't imagine much will.

My roommate (23f) and I (22f) have been living together for about a year now. I have been renting on my own since I was 17 and this is her first apartment. Her lack of experience shows.

I’ve had to remind her to pay me for utilities and rent a few times, and she is often a couple days late. She also doesn’t really pick up after herself and leaves dishes in the sink for over a week sometimes. I’ve had to ask her to contribute to buying necessities of daily living, such as toilet paper, dish soap, paper towels, laundry detergent, etc. because she always just waits for me to buy them.

A few months ago I started my period and when I went to the bathroom to take care of it I saw she had used all of my tampons and didn’t ever buy more to replace them. Needless to say, I was very annoyed. She could have at least texted me to give me a heads up or something. I asked her why she used mine and didn’t buy her own. She told me she was broke and I didn’t really know how to argue with that so I just asked her to at least tell me next time.

And then it happened again! A couple weeks ago I started my period and when I went to the bathroom, my box of tampons was completely empty. Now I was livid. When I purchased more I started keeping them in my room and hiding a few in a clever spot in the bathroom so she wouldn’t find them.

Yesterday she knocked on my bedroom door and asked if I had a tampon from the other side. I told her I bought a box a little while ago (the one she emptied) and there should still be some left because I haven’t used them. She said she would check but I didn’t hear from her again that night after she went to the bathroom.

I did have tampons. They were in my room.

Now I feel like an asshole, like I’ve betrayed the sisterhood. I could have given her at least one and told her to purchase more herself. But I was admittedly still bitter because of how she is as a roommate in general.

AITA?

Hi everyone,

I (28F) am the founder and CEO of a small tech company that I’ve poured my heart into over the past five years. Six months ago, my younger sister (24F) lost her job due to downsizing. Despite our rocky relationship—we’re polar opposites—I decided to hire her. I’m introverted and value privacy; she’s extroverted and often speaks without thinking.

Initially, things went smoothly. She brought enthusiasm to the team, and I was hopeful this could strengthen our sisterly bond. However, I began noticing colleagues giving me odd looks and whispering when I wasn’t around. During a team lunch, one employee casually mentioned a deeply personal family incident, joking about it as if it were common knowledge.

I was stunned. I pulled my sister aside and asked if she’d been sharing personal family stories. She admitted she had, saying it helped her connect with others and that it was “no big deal.” I stressed that our family’s history is private and that discussing it at work was unprofessional. She brushed me off, calling me overly sensitive.

A couple of weeks later, I discovered she’d told several employees about our parents’ tumultuous divorce and even shared that our mother had struggled with substance abuse—a painful chapter we’ve worked hard to move past. This wasn’t just embarrassing; it felt like a profound betrayal.

I confronted her again, but she accused me of trying to control her and said I was letting my “CEO status” go to my head. Realizing that this was jeopardizing not only my reputation but also the company’s culture, I made the difficult decision to terminate her employment for breaching confidentiality and unprofessional conduct.

She was furious, accusing me of choosing work over family and vowing to never forgive me. Our parents are now involved and believe I overreacted. They think I should have been more understanding and given her another chance.

This whole situation has left me questioning myself. I feel guilty for firing her but also feel that I had to protect my company and personal boundaries.

So, Reddit, AITAH for firing my sister after she exposed our family’s darkest secrets at work?

I’m 15 and i just watched Oppenheimer. I have a bunch of questions about the bombing: why did we bomb civilians instead of like a military base like this might sound crazy but I don’t think innocent civilians should be nuked, isn’t killing/targeting civilians a war crime how come the scientists/the military weren’t charged with war crimes?

So my husband is a smoker. He smokes when he's upset or anxious as a way to get himself to calm down. We've been married for 2 months and we've never had any fights or arguments til yesterday.

So we were sitting together on the sofa and he decided to have a cigarette. I was on my phone sending an important email and he was complaining about some pimple that appeared on his cheek. He kept telling me to take a look at it and I told him to wait til I'd finished sending the email cause it was important. Suddenly, and out of nowhere, he flipped open his lighter and put it insanly close to my face and flicked it. I didn't feel burn or heat but the light scared me. I screamed so loud then I immediately slapped him across the face and cussed him out. He played confused and hurt and said he was just trying to get my attention. He said that it was my fault for ignoring him and staring at me phone instead. I told him he was nuts and he said I went out of line for slapping him then stormed outside to continue smoking. I was so shaken I started crying then I went to sleep in the guests room. We haven't talked since then.

Was my reaction over the top? Maybe slapping him was not okay but it was a natural reaction to what he had done. I don't know if he was just messing with me or trying to get back at me for "ignoring him". aitah?

My friend has been starving himself and vomiting up his food consistently for the past 2 years i’d say, he’s about 65kg whilst being around 6’1, i try to tell him that it’s bad for your health and that sooner or later he’ll just put the weight back on again anyway, but he hasn’t, he’s stayed being relatively skinny and there has been no changes in his behaviour or personality in fact i’d say he’s much happier than he’s ever been.

I (21F) have an older brother Austin (26M) who was in a relationship with Emma (26F) since they were 18. They'd been together for 8 years. I've been away for college and haven't been keeping up with people from home as often as I used to because I've been busy with school and work, but a few days ago I got a call from my mom telling me that Austin is getting married. I was like "no way, he finally proposed to Emma after 8 years!" To my shock, she told me "no, it's someone else."

I was so confused, but she told me that apparently he came home with this other girl and told them they're getting married. They asked him what happened to Emma, and he said that he and Emma had been broken up for a while, and they didn't question him any further and said okay to the marriage. I was shocked.

I called up Emma and asked her what was going on and she told me that Austin had been cheating on her with this girl for over a year, and broke up with her by telling her he wants to get married to this other girl. I was furious.

I called up my mom again and told her what Emma told me, and my mom said "You don't know why he did that. And at the end of the day It's his choice who he wants to marry!" I always knew my mom put my brother on a pedestal but this was too much. I mean, Emma was part of our family at this point??? I got on a group call with my parents and my brother and confronted them, and Austin was absolutely shameless about it. I told them they're all psychotic for thinking that nothing is wrong with this, and they told me that I should stop being dramatic and just be happy for him. I told them I'm not talking to them right now and not coming to the wedding and they're furious. AITA? This is not normal is it???

Edit : A lot of people are misunderstanding and thinking I'm TELLING him to not marry her etc etc. That is NOT what I'm doing! I'm not telling anyone to do anything! I'm just calling my family out for having fucked up morals. I'm NOT expecting them to disown him, I expected them to be appalled by his behaviour but they're not. They can go to the wedding, but I am not going out of solidarity for Emma and they are mad at me for it.

My wife and I have been together for 2 years now and it’s been mostly okay between us. She’s really confident and worked hard on her body so she likes to get revealing clothes which I do respect, but when I saw the bikini she got it was way more revealing then anything she’s ever worn. I’m in no way trying to control her so I always feel the guilt, and just accept it.

It’s one of those bikinis that fit tighter and a thong, it doesn’t help she got a size smaller, so basically her entire ass is out and if she bends over at all it doesn’t even really cover her literal butthole. No other women at the party had a bikini like that, so she really stood out. I noticed many guys eyeing her up so I asked her if she could put a towel on when we were hanging out drinking and that’s when the heat started. I let it go, didn’t want a fight.

We all got in the pool later, everyone was pretty drunk including myself. Her bikini started falling apart on the strings since it’s too small, and I kept trying to fix it for her. It fucking sucked being in that position. When we got home I was pretty mad and said some things making her upset, and she’s telling me I can’t control what she wears and I’m insecure if I’m afraid of someone seeing her body.

I don’t know how to feel or what to do because everything’s perfect besides this little thing. It just makes me feel jealous really easily, I’m trying to not be “insecure” about who sees her body but I didn’t want her basically naked in front of a bunch of her friends and their husbands/boyfriends.

So it turns out my nephew did give John my home address.

My sister and my nephew stopped by my house and my sister basically brought him along so he could explain and apologize in person.

John's mom complained to another one of the mommies in their group about how John's friends are the reason he did something inappropiate. My sister found out and got my nephew to confess.

John apparently kept asking my nephew about me after the night I met him and told my nephew and their friends about his crush on me. My nephew and his friends egged him on to ask me out. One of their friends asked my nephew when was the last time I had a boyfriend, my nephew answered without thinking and said 2 years. Then their little group told John he had nothing lose and how I'm probably wanting anybody to ask me out.

My nephew emphasized how he didn't think John would actually do it and it was just a stupid dare and how they kept pressuring him to just give out my address so John could drop some flowers. And how John stopping by my house was never talked about.

My nephew kept saying sorry and how he didn't think this would turn into such a big deal. I was having none of that and let him have it, telling him how handing out my address without asking to people I don't know was putting me and my daughter in danger. How he's old enough to know better. And how stupid and thoughtless he acted.

I told him he would never house-sit for me again because God forbid another one of his friends put a stupid idea on his head and that I can't really accept his apology because I don't even know if its the truth. First, I was told he was shocked and angry at what John did and now I'm being told this was all a stupid prank between boys. So I can't be sure on what to believe.

When I was done with him, I asked my sister if she thought this time my nephew was telling the truth and she said this time he was. I then pointed out that this still didn't excuse John at all for trespassing and refusing to leave my house when told him to so while I'm angry at my nephew for handing out my address, I still think there's something wrong with John.

This time my sister didn't give me the ''boys will be boys'' crap and agreed and said she is bothered by how John's mom is still making excuses for him. I asked if atleast now that kid has moved-on and will leave me alone, my nephew said that from what he heard, John's dad put the fear of God into him so he likely will never bother me again. He still asks about me but my nephew has told him to drop it.

So if nothing else, I can believe my nephew is angry at John for dragging him into this and getting him in trouble aswell. So I don't think he's protecting his friend and trying to soften what happened.

Its been over a month since I called the cops on John so I find the timing of this is weird and I feel both my sister and nephew know more but atleast I found out how that boy knew where to find him and that he likely won't try the same stunt twice. That's enough for me.

I'm working on getting my driver's license. My boyfriend lives 45 min away at college. My dad made me drive there, with me thinking we were going to his office (he's a professor), only for us to be at my boyfriend's dorm.

I call him, asking if he can come down for just a minute or two to hug and kiss (as was my dad's plan), and he says he's in the bathroom and he'll talk to me later.

I drove home crying. My dad's pissed at him, so am I, but I can't tell if it's justified or not. I wanted to see him, and he's said he's wanted to see me. So why? Why couldn't he say "I'll be down in a minute or two?" rather than just blow me off? I texted him, apparently he's been feeling bad all day. I don't feel like that excuses it. So, am I overreacting?

Edit: I am a guy, for everyone saying I'm a girl.

I'm a single dad living in a semi detached house. My toddler loves sleeping in. And I love sleeping. I prefer late nights and late mornings.

Then I had new neighbours several months ago. They too have a toddler who constantly cries throughout the night but it happens. Not every toddler is the same.

But the man often works oncall and is up throughout the night. Which means I'm waking up everytime he goes to work. The woman has a 7am alarm and snoozes it for 5 minutes until 7:30.

And on weekends they are up at 8am loudly talking and playing with their kid.

Thankfully my kid sleeps through it. But after months of this I'm now an early bird. I go to bed early and I'm awake early.

So now, I start the day at 7. Every day including weekends. I'm up and down the stairs getting stuff ready for school, I'm cleaning out my rabbits cage. Whatever I need to do I do. I'm not going out of my way to be loud, just doing what I used to do later in the morning sooner.

Of course they now have a problem with this because on the days the man has to sleep in because he was on call he can't, cause I'm awake. The woman on her days off is now being woken up at 7am and sye can't exactly snooze me. And on weekends when they decide to sleep in after a nightout and a hangover I'm up and down the stairs.

They asked me to not to start my day so early. I'm waking them up. I told them its really their fault, before they moved in I'd be waking up much later but their alarms and loudness conditioned me to wake up early. Told them I tried speaking to them about it and was they can't help it.

So, am I really the asshole for something they practically created?

yesterday was my daughters first birthday, we didn’t do anything much, but my mum and sister came to visit and my niece (7) came too. for my daughters birthday, i bought her few little bits, but her main present was a foam ball pit with little plastic balls.

my daughter absolutely loves the ball pit, she got in it straight away and loves kicking her legs in the balls. my niece, also loves the ball pit, and i’ve got no problem with her also playing with it, but my daughter gets really mad when my niece also sits in it with her. it’s not really big enough for both of them and my daughter gets very frustrated and angry. she was crying and generally getting upset. i asked my niece to get out for a bit and let my daughter play in it seeing as it’s her present.

my sister said i shouldn’t have told her not to play in it with her and my daughter has to learn to share. i told my sister that my daughter absolutely does not need to share her birthday present and if she wants to play in it, she should be allowed to without my niece bothering her.

my sister called me selfish and an AH, but the way i see it is, it’s my child’s birthday, she should be able to play with her presents by herself if she wants. it’s meant for my daughter, not for my niece. it’s her present and if she doesn’t want to share it, she shouldn’t have to.

this morning my sister is still insisting i’m an AH, am i?

Hi all, genuinely asking because I come from unhealthy and abusive relationships. Sometimes I wonder if I’m being too much of a stickler.

I (30F) matched with a guy (32M) on Tinder and have been talking for a couple weeks over text/phone. I told him at the beginning that I like to meet in public and require a 24 hour notice/ at least ask me out a day in advance so I can plan my day, outfit, dog care, etc.

He has yet to ask me out on an actual date and today asked me to come over last minute. I say obviously no, that’s dangerous to me. He says okay, want to see a movie today? I said that I’d be happy to see one with you tomorrow! He then proceeded to tell me how arbitrary my 24 hour rule is and “I’m making it more difficult than it needs to be”.

I hung up the phone because I was kind of getting upset. I felt like I was explaining myself over and over again.

Am I overreacting? Am I making this difficult?