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Hello, Reddit, this is u/spez, your usually confident CEO. But today, I'm here in a different capacity, as a fellow Redditor who's made a big oopsie. So here it goes... TIFU by deciding to eliminate third-party apps, and as a result, unintentionally creating a crisis for our beloved platform.
Like most TIFUs, it started with good intentions. I wanted to centralize user experience, enhance quality control, and create uniformity. I thought having everyone on the official app would simplify things and foster a better, more unified Reddit experience.
But oh, how I was wrong.
First, the backlash was instant and palpable. Users and moderators alike expressed concerns about the utility and convenience that these third-party apps offered. I heard stories of how some apps like RiF had become an integral part of their Reddit journey, especially for moderators who managed communities big and small.
Then came the real shocker. In protest, moderators began to set their subreddits to private. Some of the largest, most active corners of Reddit suddenly went dark. The impact was more significant than I'd ever anticipated.
Frustration mounted, and so did regret. This wasn't what I wanted. I never intended to disrupt the community spirit that defines Reddit or make the jobs of our volunteer moderators harder.
Yet, here we are.
I've made a monumental miscalculation in assessing how much these third-party apps meant to our community. I didn't realize the extent to which they were woven into the fabric of our daily Reddit operations, particularly for our moderators.
In short, I messed up. I didn't fully understand the consequences of my decision, and now Reddit and its communities are bearing the brunt of it.
So, here's my TIFU, Reddit. It's a big one, and I'm still grappling with the fallout. But if there's one thing I know about this platform, it's that we're a community. We're in this together, and we'll figure it out together.
I'm listening. Let's talk.
TL;DR - Tried to unify Reddit under the official app, phased out third-party apps, caused chaos, possibly destabilized the platform, and learned a lesson about the value of diverse user experiences.
Edit: a word
Note: this is a parody
PHOTO Updates: https://imgur.com/a/8Rv1LoZ (I assume the first of many photos to come in the following months)
Last week, I posted one of my life's most embarrassing stories on TIFU, about the typo that caused me to donate $15,041 to a Bangladesh charity instead of the $150 donation I intended. At the time of my Reddit post, the charity’s latest campaign had approximately $12,500 from 26 total donations. My neighbor, the organizer of the charity, had told me the charity was running on fumes and looking to cancel some of its programs.
Of course I had hoped some Redditors might read my story and decide to help the charity, but I NEVER could have expected the overwhelming reaction nor the incredible generosity of the Reddit community. “Watch this post blow up, and a shit ton of Redditors donate” was one of the first comments the post received on Reddit. And that is exactly what happened. Over Memorial Day Weekend, the charity raised over $55,000 from over 2,100 new donations.
On Saturday, I had to explain Reddit to my 77-year-old neighbor and to the charity’s team leader in Bangladesh (he called it Rebbit, as you can see in my pics). They were absolutely blown away by the reaction – truly they view it as a miracle. I received the following message from my neighbor: “Without a doubt, this is the biggest wave of support to arrive since we started! Doors that were closed can now be opened. Plans that were parked can now be put in motion. There is much we can now accomplish. All due to your idea to post (in a funny way) on what happened a while ago. Abundant resources require an equal level of responsibility. No less. I am committed to see that these funds are applied carefully and continue to make a difference to those who need it most.”
Sometimes things just seem to work out for a reason. One Reddit donor commented, “Michael may have screwed up his donation, but hopefully his TIFU on Reddit has fixed that somewhat.” Thanks to Reddit, the Bangladesh community will receive roughly 4x the amount of the original donation I had refunded.
TL;DR: My embarrassing story of an accidental $15,041 donation (and refund of $13,541) goes viral on Reddit, Redditors raise over $55,000 for needy in Bangladesh!
EDIT: Holy cow someone just donated $5,000! Thank you, Anonymous!! Hopefully you didn’t mean to donate $500… it could happen to anyone. Charity link in comments and original post, if anyone else is interested!
I went on a date with one of my friends whom I'll call Sarah (not her real name) that I attend the same university with. I've always known that my friend has a thing for me, but I've always been reluctant to go on a date with her because I genuinely value our friendship and felt putting romance there would just mess things up.
About a week ago, I was hanging out with Sarah and our other mutual friend as they listened to me complain about my unfortunate dating history. The mutual friend then put out the idea of a date between Sarah and I. He did this mainly to just make the room temporarily awkward, but it led to a conversation where I essentially asked Sarah for a date. For the days leading up to the date, Sarah and I's became a lot more flirty, and I have to admit I was also excited for the date.
Two days ago, I picked Sarah up, and we went to a fairly fancy restaurant. When the waiter came, I ordered my food. She then ordered basically three separate meals, and I didn't know what to say or how to question why she ordered so much food. When I finished my food, she barely ate half of one plate, and she then said she wasn't actually hungry because she ate lunch right before she left her place. I asked her why then she ordered three meals and she said one is for her mom's dinner since she's always wanted to try this restaurant out and the other meal is for her to eat with her mom during dinner. I then told her that it's nice that she's getting dinner for her mom. It's cute that she would do that, to which she responded, "I should be thanking you since you're paying."
I had told her I would pay for the date, but I definitely never agreed to paying for her mom and her dinner when we had only gone out for lunch. The meal was expensive, but I would have been fine paying for her if she actually ate all three meals. Instead, it all just felt wrong to me. The rest of the date was ruined for me, and I was checked out for the rest of the date I was just going through the motions.
After I left her at her place, I went radio silent on her as I was still annoyed by what she did. Today, I wanted to just tell her that I think it's better we go back to being friends, but as I opened our chat message her, I read a message she sent me shortly after our date. She basically was thanking me for the date and then went on to pour out her feelings for me and say that she has loved me for years and the date was like a dream come true for her.
I had to drive over to her place to try as gently as possible that the feelings aren't mutual, which resulted in her crying and screaming at me as to why I was flirting with her before the date and why I even asked her out to the date. I feel horrible
UPDATE
Thank you so much, for your replies. I have been reading most of them so I just wanted to clarify a few things and give an update on how last night went.
Firstly, I think I FU in going on this date with her knowing that she had feelings for me and there's risk of losing a friend. When I asked her to the date I reasoned that she's attractive and even though I didn't like her in that way we technically should make a good couple so I was willing to give it a shot. Which in hindsight, it was my FU and I should have just stuck to my logic surrounding friends. Over the week the flirtation came naturally, and I was genuinely optimistic and excited for the date, and definitely didn't intend on leading her on.
Secondly, I paid for her meals, for me the money wasn't the problem, it was the oncept in itself that bothered me. I dont mind buying her things to take home I have actually done it a few times before, but you dont do that on a date nor without asking atleast prior to ordering.
I didn't mention the food thing when we spoke, honestly her reaction to me not reciprocating tjose feelings left me speechless and she kicked me out of her house when she was crying and shouting at me, she was also made it took me two days to reply to her confession of love.
Lastly, last night before I slept, I talked to our mugual friend who had kind helped in instigating this date and he was telling me that when he spoke to her she was a mess and talking about self harm, which makes me feel so much worse. I wish this date had never happened
TLDR: I went on a with my friend and she made me buy her two meals and another for her mom's dinner put me off. I wanted to ask for things to go back to normal, but she's now admitted to being in love with me and hates me for not reciprocating those feelings.
I work at a cafe that has BYOB (bring your own beans) Wednesdays— as implied, the premise is that customers bring a bag of coffee beans, and for $1 we grind them for you and use our professional industrial equipment to make your preferred version of your coffee fix. It’s a fun community thing, 50% of Proceeds go to charity, yadda yadda yadda.
At the beginning of the year, two really awesome students at the local high school turned their successful business project from the previous semester—a shop that sourced and sold locally grown coffee beans—into a real business, and it really took off in the neighborhood. The main grocer (independent, not a chain) now carries their beans as do some other shops around town. And to be clear, their success is well-deserved: the coffee is freaking delish and the boys that started the company both come from really impoverished backgrounds, so you really want to root for them.
However, there is a slight problem. The boys sell two kinds of beans, a light roast and a dark roast. The dark roast is called MyKind and the light roast is called YourKind. There’s some cute story about why those are the names, but to be honest I’ve forgotten it. Point is, both are great as I’ve said, but something about the light roast beans are not good for our equipment at the cafe. They tend to clog the machines even after being grinded to a fine powder. For some reason, the dark roast beans do not have the same problem.
So about two months ago we had to ban YourKind beans on BYOB Wednesdays. While it sucks because we’re all for further supporting the local community, there was no other option. Plus, we communicated the policy change to the students and they fully understood.
Now we get to the fuck up. The bag for YourKind Coffee has a very distinctive design: a striped tricolor pattern of red, blue, and white. Well today, a man and his daughter walked in with a bag of YourKind beans and got into the line, which was very long at the time. Since he was carrying “banned beans,” I thought I’d save the man some time, and as soon as he got in line I said “Sir, just so you know, we don’t allow YourKind in here.” At first he just looked at me pretty confused and exchanged whispers with his daughter, who explained to him what I had said.
A look of rage flashed on his face. He evaded the line and stormed up to me right at the counter and asked, in a heavy accent: “You not allow my kind?” I had not realized what it had sounded like, and so I responded:
“No, MyKind is okay, YourKind is not.”
He got super close to me and spat out a really harsh “You motherfucker,” and then he marched out of the store with his daughter while cursing in some foreign language. While he was walking away, I noticed he wasn’t holding a bag of beans at all. It was a flag. According to my later google search, it was a Serbian flag.
It hit me pretty much as soon as he slammed the door behind him that I had inadvertently refused service and had been very racist to a foreigner .
I ran into the backroom to cry and my coworkers and manager had to console me and tell me it was an honest mistake. My manager sent me home early to get some rest but I’ve just been pacing around. I can’t get it out of my head. The man was so happy when he entered the cafe—he was whistling—and probably just wanted to show his daughter an American experience. And I ruined it.
TL;DR I accidentally made it sound like Serbians were not allowed in our cafe and ruined a tourist’s day
My wife and I have been a bit itchy lately and started noticing small bite marks. Then the other night I noticed a small bug crawling on me, probably the size of a poppy seed. I started inspecting the bed more and discovered dozens of them around our head and pillow area. After doing a bunch of online research it really seemed like they were bed bugs.
We started going through the signs and felt so stupid. We had seen some black splotches on our pillows and thought it was just sweat spots, but now realized it was from the bed bugs. I had seen a some random specs of dirt in the bed and thought nothing of it, but then realized it must have been the bed bug shells.
We notified our landlord but he wouldn't pay for treatment and said since it wasn't an apartment that it was our responsibility because we must have gotten some old furniture or clothes that brought the bed bugs with them. We thought about it but couldn't think of any way the bed bugs came.
Nonetheless, we contacted an exterminator and scheduled an appointment. We canceled all of our upcoming plans with friends. We got someone willing to babysit even with the bugs and did an aggressive deep clean of all the rooms. We washed all the bedding, linens, laundry, pillows, vacuumed every gap possible. Under the box spring we found further proof of the bed bugs by finding some red splotches around the box spring staples. We put the vacuum outside in a bunch of garbage bags.
Even after all the cleaning, we immediately found dozens more bed bugs crawling around us. We were mortified and didn't know what else to do, so just had to spend multiple sleepless nights waiting in the same bed (because we didn't want the bed bugs to spread to other rooms).
When the exterminator finally came, I was able to show him a sample of the bugs we caught on a piece of tape. He examined them with a magnifying glass and immediately said they weren't Bedbugs, but they were mites. We had a bird's nest right outside our window that we had left because we didn't want to hurt the birds. Well it turns out there was a dead bird in it that was absolutely infested with mites, and they were crawling through the window looking for more food. He inspected everything else and none of it was bed bugs: the pillow was just sweat spots, the box spring staples were just rusty.
We had to pay a few hundred dollars for the exterminator to dispose of the nest and spray for mites, and our "bed bug" problem is finally gone.
TL;DR We found what we thought were bed bugs, canceled all our social life, aggressively cleaned our house, and paid a few hundred dollars to find out they were just mites coming from a dead bird outside our window.
They came back over to celebrate a birthday, (from 15 m to 16 m) which they do for all of their birthdays. As soon as they got here I saw their smug looks, and I got worried, so I folded back my setup (table folds up to where the screen is inside of a desk) and covered it with a sheet. As for my other stuff, it's in a cabinet under my desk. They came over, opened their gifts, and when they saw that they didn't get any gift from me, they were surprised... suffice to say I got absolutely berated. I also did some yelling, because they had previously broken my headset, but still. I had to go check on my animals( I have chickens as well as 3 cats) and while I was gone, they totally destroyed my room, and found all of my (Mary jane) and alcohol, which they seized, and threw away/poured out. Then, they noticed my gaming setup, which they also trashed and broke(about $2700 total in damages) totally ruining all the data I had on my hard drives, which included my life's work of art, game development (I was working on an indie game) and much more. This almost made me boil over, but I somehow kept my composure. I said that what they did isn't at all tolerable, and that I would press charges, but they clapped back and said they were calling the police(which she did) and when they showed up, the detained her, the birthday boy, and had a little chat with them. I said I would like to press charges and I am meeting with a lawyer sometime very soon (I already had a lawyer) and, since there's an opening, I can probably get into small claims court in about a month.
Did I make the right decision?
TL;DR: I didn't get the birthday boy any presents (because he destroyed my oculus) so he destroyed my entire room, breaking about $2700 worth of stuff while I was taking care of my pets. I am pressing charges, and meeting with my lawyer soon.(the aunt called the police because I said I was pressing charges, landing her a ticket because she was parked illegally 🙂) next update probably after court date.
So I woke up with some heartburn and decided that I wanted to swallow a TUMS whole because I didn’t want to take my retainers off, brush my teeth, then put my retainers back in because it would mess up my sleep cycle…. Which, hindsight is 20/20… I know some of you may say “just don’t do it next time”, yes, noted, but at 3am my brain wasn’t functioning.
I literally felt like if I laid down I would die. I was so sleepy too 😭. I spent almost 2 hours searching for advice.
I scoured the internet if there was any relief except articles just said “don’t do it” or “here’s a list of issues it will cause” unhelpful. Those articles gave me so much anxiety! I thought I might have to go to urgent care.
There was some relief from another Reddit post that someone mentioned they ate more and drank hot water, which didn’t help myself personally. I was going to post there but comments were disabled.
I wanted to get a list out there in case someone is freaking out at 3am. So here we go:
First and foremost, what worked for me: drinking carbonated water. I only had soda (squirt) but I’m assuming any well carbonated beverage would work. Mind you, this was the last try after a full list of things so maybe the others helped, but this was like a light turned on moment. It was almost instant relief. A few more sips (I finished the can) and it was fully relieved.
Now other things I tried that offered me little to no relief: - drinking hot water/tea, I think this helped, but I’m really unsure. I didn’t feel any relief but hot tea normally calms me down. - sitting up or in a an inclined position. Again, not sure if it did anything but it’s better than laying down. - eating soft foods (banana, thick liquid vitamin, almond butter). Did zilch. - I tried taking other pills in hopes that it will help push down the tablet… don’t do this, it made it worse. This is when I panicked and had a soda.
Hopefully this helps someone. Please add on any other helpful tips!
EDIT: the chewable was too big so it got uncomfortably lodged in my esophagus. TUMs is a brand of chewable antacid that is about 1 inch in diameter that I thought would just dissolve on contact with liquid.
TL;DR - if you eff up and take a whole TUMS, drink soda.
EDIT: Poorly worded title, sorry. I didn’t lose my job, I lost the company ~$4,000 in inventory. Still work there (let’s hope it lasts)
This was yesterday but I was pressured by my friends to put this story here, so here we go. (All cash amounts in USD)
I'm 16 and have worked as a cashier at a supermarket near me for the past 6-ish months, so I'm still relatively new to some things. At the peak of our rush hour yesterday afternoon, two women got to the front of my line with carts full of expensive merchandise. From the start, I noticed they were being very talkative as I was scanning their items, asking me a lot of questions about myself, my life, my job, etc. It almost seemed like a distraction. I wasn't too weirded out by it at the time, as it isn't too uncommon for customers to start conversations like that. They were telling me about their lives as traveling nurses, and that one of them used to work as a cashier at a place similar to where I work. The first woman's total was ~$2,600, all for things like baby monitors, a breast pump, and other baby supplies. I was very shocked by the amount, as I didn't even realize how quickly it was adding up. It was the first time I had seen a purchase cost this much.
This is where it gets interesting. At the end of the first one's total, she showed me a store credit card with instructions on the back that read: "Insert card, then select cash tender". At this point, I was very suspicious, but the card seemed very real, so I let it happen. She was also very convincing, explaining to me how it worked, and that it was a card earned by people with high credit. So I did as I was told. I pressed the button indicating she paid in cash, handed her the receipt, then on came the next one. She also had a similar cart, with items adding up to ~$1,300. I admit, by then I should've caught on, and being honest I feel like an idiot. She hands me a card just like her friend's, with the same instructions to hit cash. I pressed the same button, but since they didn't actually hand me any cash, I put nothing in the register. It wasn't until later that day that I found out neither of their cards actually read since I didn't press "Card tender" on the machine so their inserting their cards was a simple trick. So off they went, with all this merchandise in their carts, a receipt in hand, and not a dollar spent.
I consulted my manager around half an hour later and was told that it was definitely a scam. Honestly, I'm still shocked that I got punked this badly. They knew exactly how to respond to every question, having a situation prepared for every item. They talked about a baby shower for some of the items, and I don't entirely remember the rest of their excuses, but it was very well put together to be fair. Looking back, I should've noticed earlier on, but the pressure from the long line behind them got to me.
TL;DR: I'm a cashier and 2 customers came to my register with around $4,000 in merchandise and tricked me into getting it all for free.
Obligatory "this wasn't actually today" message, this was back in highschool.
Backstory: when I was seven months old, I developed extraocular melanoma in my left eye. Pretty rare for a child, let alone a baby, but that's beside the point. They had to remove the eye and some of the surrounding tissue.
I grew up with prosthetic eyes, but kids at school knew and would make fun of me for it. There was one girl in 3rd grade who tried to pull my prosthetic out, and she didn't even get in trouble because "kids are curious". The bullying continued for years and slowly got less severe, I guess when rhe bullies matured or just got bored. By the time I was 11 it was mostly just occasional teasing, but it didn't matter; my self esteem was already destroyed.
When I was 14, my family moved to a new city 6 hours away from where I was born because my mum got a better job. This meant that I got to go to a new school, where no one knew me or knew that I only had one eye, and I was determined to keep it that way.
At this point, I had several different prosthetics. I dont remember exactly, but I think I had three. One was a brown eye, which is my natural eye colour, and then there was a blue one and I think either a purple or pink one, I can't remember. I used to think it would be cool to wear different colors, but I rarely did, due to the bullying. I promised myself that I was only ever going to wear the brown prosthetic and no one was ever going to know that one of my eyes was fake.
Well, on the first day of school, I was running late. Not get your ass out the door now late, but late enough that I needed to hurry if I was going to be on time. I was getting ready and popped by prosthetic in and dashed out the door.
Well, surprise surprise, that wasnt the brown prosthetic I had grabbed. It turned out to be the blue one. And I wasn't really paying attention at the time, as I was behind and also was so used to putting in and taking out my prosthetic that I didn't bother looking in the mirror or anything. So I go to school, and at this point I still have no idea I have two different colored eyes. So I walk into the school and I go to my home room and sit down next to this girl. She says hi, we introduce ourselves, make small talk, and then she mentions "oh, I like your eyes. What's that called again, hetero-something-or-other?" It took me a second to realize what was happening and that I had fucked up. And I had to choose whether I was gonna come clean and tell this girl I had a fake eye or lie out my ass. Well, I chose to lie.
If it had just been that one girl, maybe it wouldn't have been that bad and maybe the situation would've been salvageable. But I kid you not, at least a dozen people that I talked to throughout that day mentioned it, including one teacher! And I lied every time, saying it was heterochromia. And at that point I knew I had two options: just stop lying, tell everyone else the truth, and if anyone from before asks just be honest, OR wear that same blue prosthetic every God damn day for the rest of my school career. You already know which one I chose!
And no one found out for a good three years. I finally decided to come clean to some of my closer friends, and they were all so lighthearted about it and thought it was funny. Tbh, the only reason I told any of them is because I was going camping with them for a weekend, all sharing a big tent and I take my prosthetic out every night when I go sleep so I realized I should tell them beforehand. I originally planned on keeping my mouth shut about it forever, but after that I eventually told a few more friends. Most of the school never found out tho, even after graduation.
TL;DR – I lost one eye as a baby and so grew up with prosthetics. Got bullied for having one eye, so decided that at new school I would make sure no one knew. Accidentally wore a different colored prosthetic than my other eye on the first day, thus people thought I had heterochromia.
My cousin is due in July with a baby girl. During her whole pregnancy, she has been dropping hints about the name she picked. She would say things like, "Children bring this". My first guess was something normal like Hope. I figured children bring hope to the world. IDK. Anyways, nothing could have prepared me or my family (my mom and siblings) for what she was planning. She wants to name her baby Light Bringer, "Brings" as a nickname. I thought she was joking, but she isn't.
I came to Reddit to ask for advice. I was hoping to maybe get her to change the baby's name. After posting to r/circlenamejerks others agreed with me that the name she picked is terrible. They offered alternatives that sound better. I decided to video chat with my cousin and politely ask her if she'd want to change the name. I offered some alternatives and she wouldn't budge. I told her that the name Lucifer means Light Bringer. She did not care. I found out that she originally had some other names picked up. These names are a little better than Light Bringer. She had Andromeda, Cassiopeia, and Starr to name a few. I asked her why she didn't like those names, and she just shrugged. She then mentioned something along the lines of getting the public's opinion. I decided to send her the post I posted to r/circlenamejerks.
Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/NameNerdCirclejerk/comments/13q84r7/how_to_stop_my_cousin/
Needless to say, she was not happy. I am not allowed near her family till she cools off. Her mom, siblings, and husband are not too happy with me now. I was going to delete my original post until my cousin accused me of being jealous of her because I (infertile) can't have kids. I told her this was not jealousy. I told her I simply don't think Light Bringer is a good name for a person. Whatever then, I guess you can name your kid whatever you want.
TL;DR I tried to get my cousin to change her soon-to-be baby's name. She is dead set on naming her Light Bringer and is now not talking to me. She accused me of being jealous because I suffer from infertility. Her whole family is mad at me for trying to tell her Light Bringer isn't a good name.
Final update if anyone cares: she's picking Andromeda instead
This is an update to a previous TIFU I posted a few days ago. If you didn’t read the first one, I’ll do my best to summarize it.
I stayed up late getting my bags packed for a wedding I was the best man in this past weekend. I ended up going to bed in the early hours of the morning and accidently overslept to the point that I woke up on the alarm telling me it was time to leave for the airport.
As I was throwing on my clothes as fast as I could, I was hopping around trying to get a pair of socks on. After getting one on successfully, I came down awkwardly on my ankle on my last hop, crashing to my floor and smacking my eye off the tile.
Unfortunately, as I was in a rush, I had no opportunity to grab an ice pack or anything cold to try to avoid a black eye. By the time I got to the plane, I had a purple lump the size of a golf ball covering half my eye. By the time I got to the hotel several hours later, my eye looked like someone stuck a plum on top of it.
Despite getting a decent amount of ice on it during my travels and the night before, I still had a nasty-looking shiner the next morning. It was completely swollen shut and we had the rehearsal dinner that night.
After breaking the unsightly news to the bride and groom (the former pissed, the latter pissing himself laughing), we decided that even though there would still be a ton of swelling, makeup would be the best option to cover it for the rehearsal dinner and wedding the day after. They would just do what they could to hide my Quasimodo eye as much as possible.
This seemed like a decent solution and the bride even let the makeup artist doing her makeup to fix me up. By the time she was done, you could barely notice the bruising (though the swelling was a very different story). I was even lucky that my eye could open up a crack by the time the rehearsal dinner started.
Unfortunately, I noticed my eye pretty quickly swell back shut after the makeup was applied. It was around the same time that my eye started to itch like crazy underneath the makeup and while I tried to ignore it, I ended up needing to take the makeup off halfway through dinner and taking a Benadryl. I had discovered that I am allergic to makeup.
Now that I knew how badly I would react to makeup, I told my best friend, the groom, that there was no way I could wear makeup for the actual wedding, offering to wear sunglasses or an eyepatch instead. While I wasn’t there for the conversation, I was later told that the bride was really upset, but said in no uncertain terms that she “wasn’t going to have a f*cking pirate in her wedding.”
When I woke up on Sunday, the swelling had gone down a bit, but the bruising had gotten much darker. While makeup would have been ideal for then, there was no way I’d be able to deal with the allergic reaction I was going to have. So, I showed up to the reception with a black tux and even blacker eye. Things seemed to go off without a hitch for the most part, though I saw the bride’s smile fade a bit when me made eye contact while she was walking down the eye. There was also some insistence that I turn the bruised side of my face away for most of the pictures, although the groom featured it prominently in our pictures with the other groomsmen. I really didn’t think it ended up being that big of a deal until one of the bridesmaids pulled me aside and cursed me out for not doing more to hide it. Evidently, the bride was really upset and had shed some tears in the bathroom after the pictures saying I had ruined them.
Now, several days later, I texted my best friend to see how the honeymoon is going and was told that things are good but his wife is pretty sad about how the wedding didn’t meet her expectations and my face was a big reason why. If it makes her feel any better, I am also unhappy that I look like I panda.
TL;DR: I gave myself a black eye putting socks on and ruined a wedding as a result.
The fuck up happened today but it has been going on for months before I had to spill the beans.
For additional context, I will add that my SO and I have been together for a bit more than 6 years and that we have taken the habit of going to the restaurant once a week or at the very minimum once every two weeks. We often go to the same restaurants and they are very close to my workplace so it is no surprise for her that I would already be there or would have already ordered a drink before she arrives.
Most people like their food, others like other people's food even more and my SO is one of the latter. When we go to the restaurant, she will order something she likes and I will order something I like too. The issue is that no matter how hard I tried, she cannot resist picking things on my plate before she attacks her own. She does it under the pretense that my food "looks good" or "tastes better than hers".
Well, a few months ago, I have seen an image of someone stating that they work at a restaurant and that a guy always came 45 minutes early and ordered food, ate then asked the waiter to set the table as if he just sat down. When his wife would arrive, he would order the exact same thing as he ordered minutes prior and act as if he was "giving it a shot".
No need to go into details but I felt like this person was a genius and that I had been blessed with a piece of forbidden knowledge. It was so simple and yet so smart, I couldn't believe I never thought of it. I applied what I had seen on our next date and started doing it every time.
Fast forward to the present, we were at the restaurant and the waiter brought the tab, as usual, I stood up, took it, and went to the counter to pay but this time, my SO followed me. When I arrived and pulled out my card to pay, she caught a glimpse of what was written on the machine but said nothing at the time.
While we were walking to our respective cars, she explained that she thinks they did a mistake and asked me to check the receipt. At this point, I knew it was over and explained what I had been doing for the past months. I spilled everything from the funny image to how it made our weekly outing a much more enjoyable experience for the both of us since I stopped fighting to protect my precious food and I got to enjoy what I had ordered.
She didn't like that I kept it a secret from her and that I once again tried things I had seen online on our relationship but ended up laughing after 20 minutes of me panicking and justifying my actions.
EDIT: A few people suggested that we order a third dish to share. We tried but the issue is that she doesn't want to keep doing this as she said that "it just doesn't taste the same", "isn't as fun" and "makes no sense to order a third dish when we both have ours".
Please, do not think that I went to such an extent as a way to avoid conversation or compromises, we tried different things but she didn't like any of them and she got fed up with me bringing it up so automatically ended up in arguments.
With my FU tho, she realized how far she pushed me and said she will try to be more mindful so we will see how it goes next week!
EDIT2: I do not just "let her step over my boundaries", we communicated and tried different things. She most often gets very defensive and I am just fed up arguing about food multiple times a month. We will see how it goes next week though since she said she will be more mindful of how much she does it.
EDIT3: Please, don't be so rude toward her and me. I have seen some insulting comments about our relationship and personalities but outside of this topic, everything goes well. We have no issues with each other and communication is good. Don't forget that you are judging off of a post made on a very specific thing.
As for the people pointing out how disrespectful her behavior is, you are right. I think with time and how often we got into arguments about it, I lowered my expectations regarding the way she acts when food is involved at a restaurant a bit too much. I appreciate your constructive criticism for those who took the time to make some and will straighten my back again like I used to because it goes both ways.
EDIT4: Alright everyone, I get what you are saying and yes you are right, I have my part of responsibilities in the matter since I have allowed her to go as far as she has. I will address the issue again when she comes back home and we'll get to the bottom of it.
UPDATE: I made the update in a separate post as it was pretty lengthy and wouldn't fit here.
TL;DR My SO always steals food from my plate when we are at the restaurant so I started going early to eat before she arrives and had to spill the beans today.
I (22F) had been going out with my ex boyfriend (31M) for about 9 months. About 6 months ago I started my job which was my first job since graduating college. I worked at this job during a summer internship and they hired me back after graduating. Since I started the job, I made friends with the same people I was friends with during the internship, including a girl who I will refer to as friend 1 (26F). My ex was convinced that friend 1 had a crush on me even though she didn’t. She shaved her head and has a different sense of style but she isn’t gay/bi. Her and I went to the same gym and we would often go together with two other coworkers. She has helped me when I was in a very bad place mentally because she has been through similar experiences. About 3 months into the relationship, he had to leave for a month for work. Because I had recently graduated college, I didn’t have a lot of friends because they were either still at college or they lived far away. Friend 1 and some other coworkers were my only friends during that time. I really got to know all of them and I enjoyed hanging out with them all. My ex didn’t like that, especially since we were long distance. After 3 more months, I canceled my gym membership and stopped hanging out with my coworkers as much, and that included friend 1. She would still text me occasionally, especially if she was having a bad day. I told me ex that I wasn’t hanging out with her outside of work and that I would avoid her more at work. I stopped going to team sponsored events outside of work to avoid her because he didn’t like her. This past Thursday she was having a really bad day and said some things to make me worry for her mental health and safety. I offered to go on a walk with her for a bit to help her calm down. On Saturday, my ex and I were driving to go camping, a 3 hour drive, and he started looking through my messages. This isn’t he first time he has done this. He would go through my phone a lot when I was sleeping to see if I was texting friend 1. He did see the message about me asking her if she wanted to go on a walk and he got pissed. He told me I lied to him and betrayed him. He said friend 1 ruined the relationship. We ended up camping anyway and he kept bringing it up throughout the weekend. On Monday we got lunch at a restaurant before driving home and he told me to choose between him and getting rid of her in my life. I told him that I wasn’t going to choose. As long as I still work at that job, there’s no way of avoiding her. I can’t leave the job because I don’t have enough work experience to get another one with the same salary. He got mad at me and started yelling at me telling me again and again that I destroyed the relationship. He also threw a water bottle at my car and it bounced back and hit me. It was a very long and awkward ride home. He called me the next day to continue insulting me and telling me how much I ruined the relationship. I broke it off with him after he kept calling me and insulting throughout the night knowing I had early meetings in the morning. I ended up going to the hospital on Tuesday because I had a panic attack that caused sever chest pain, which made me miss a day of work. He is convinced that I destroyed the relationship even though I already lost a friend (friend 1), gave up grad school, a gym membership, and a lot of money on a vacation my ex and I were supposed to go on. I gave up weekends with my family and friends to stay with him where we wouldn’t leave his apartment because he didn’t want to run into anyone he knew.
TLDR: ex made me choose between him and a friend, I refused to choose, he told me I destroyed the relationship.
Edit: I feel like I FU because he told me I could have stopped the friendship sooner, as soon as he told me about being uncomfortable with the friendship.
Edit 2: I put an update in the comments but I’ll post it again up here. Insert the “I didn’t know this would get so much attention”. Thank you to everyone who took the time to comment to help me open my eyes to all of the BS I went through. Thanks for pulling me out of this self pity party too.
To those who commented about spacing and syntax: I was a crying mess when I wrote this in the notes app on my phone. I apologize.
Friend 1 update: she was completely understanding when I told her about the situation. She was proud of me for standing up for myself. I’m lucky to have her, other friends, and my family as a support system. My mom told me she was proud of me today and her and I cried together.
Ex update: BLOCKED! I’ll figure out how to get my stuff later, I need to focus on my health now.
Health update: I have to wear a holter monitor for the next two weeks to monitor my heart. I was told stress and anxiety make it worse and was given a prescription for anti anxiety medication. It was medicine I used to take and I’m going to give it a try to see how I feel.
Vacation update: my mom and I are taking a girls trip together. Not to the same location (my ex’s home country) but to go visit my aunt who lives in a beach house. Plus, my best friend (EDIT: different friend since high school) invited me to come with her to visit her home country later this year!
And most importantly, grad school update!!!! I’m sending the deposit as soon as I get my paycheck on Friday. My job is paying for some of it so thankfully money won’t be something to stress about too much.
Thank you so much again to everyone for opening my eyes and helping me start this healing journey. I appreciate you all ❤️
Today I fucked up. Well, last month but I just remembered after blacking out the horrific memory. I was attending the first day of a week-long Peer Support Specialist training along with a female co-worker and several other students from different workplaces.
The training would involve a lot of soul-searching, sharing stories of addiction, struggle, etc. As our job was to work with people in crisis. Anyway, a bit early on in the first day I ran to take a leak. When I got back everyone was writing on a flashcard they'd been given and folding them up. I asked my co-worker what I missed and she said I had to "write a secret."
Due to the emotional nature of our training, I believed we'd fold them up and hang onto them or something. Then we'd throw em away at the end or some symbolic thing like that. So, I write "I feel like a terrible father and sometimes regret having kids." I have a 1.5 year old. Impostor syndrome/depression is a bitch.
I fold it up and pocket it.
"Alright, I'm gonna collect everyone's cards now." The facilitator says. I think, huh? Alright. This must be some kind of trust exercise. Brilliant stuff. Wow. He collects the cards then puts them in a cup and shakes it up. Holy FUCK I am breaking a sweat now. I ask my co-worker what's going on. She shrugs. Okay.
He grabs a card and reads it. It days "I've been bit by a shark." Huh, weird secret. I'd tell everyone that. The class then points to one person, some are like "that's gotta be you. You look like a surfer!" Surfer dude confirms it's his and everyone cheers. I'm at this point seconds from jumping across my desk and stealing the bucket of cards.
He reads a few more and everyone correctly guesses the secret holder. "I was in a movie", "I was born in Canada" things like that. He grabs mine, which is the LAST FUCKING ONE. My co-worker, with me being the last one says "I guess we all know who this one is going to be!" The look on the instructor's face when he opened the card. He sort of half-pity-laughs. "I feel like a terrible father and sometimes regret having kids." The room falls silent and I just sit there wanting to crawl out of my skin and die. I raise my hand to confirm it's me. I learned later on he said to write a fun fact about yourself anonymously on the card. Not a deep dark secret. Fuck me.
TL;DR: Thought we had to write a dark secret on a card which we would keep during a class. Turns out it was a fun fact and I had to sit and listen to it be read to everyone.
My wife has a Galaxy S20 Ultra and we bought a S23 Ultra for her. She is not tech savvy so she asked me to do the transfer. Now my wife is absolutely horrendous at managing her storage. She has a 128GB S20 which is 99.9% full, it does not even let you take pictures sometimes because its too full.
So when we were using the Samsung Smart Switch app to transfer from her old to her new, for some reason, it said that her old phone was too full and we needed to make up 1GB or something. So she said I could delete a few apps. I deleted Audible, and another app (I cant remember) then I deleted CamScanner. I rarely use CamScanner and that too only way back when Samsung phone cameras did not have the Scan function. Turns out that my wife still used it despite her phone able to properly Scan items. She used it a lot.
She recently went back to her home country and scanned a lot of pictures of her grandparents and other pictures that are dear to her. Now one thing that I did not know is that CamScanner does not save items on your own Gallery or anything. It has its own storage area. It also has a Cloud storage so all good right?
Well according to my wife, all the pictures that she had scanned were not saved. They had a small red X and a warning that said that it did not have any space to save those pictures but she somehow could still see them. (I don't really understand that part). She never bothered to clear up or back up her photos, ever. Most of her storage are videos and photos that I have repeatedly asked her to back up to the computer but she refuses. Anyways, she says that these pictures were kind of in a limbo, accessible on CamScanner but not able to be saved anywhere.
I immediately reinstalled CamScanner and it started Syncing right away, and she recovered all the documents on there... EXCEPT the ones she scanned that did not save properly. She is extremely extremely extremely pissed right now. She just up and left and left her phone and went to bed. She has said she is extremely angry at me because I did not ask her and she is 100% right, I fucked up big time.
I never in all my life expected a scenario like that. I have contacted CamScanner and asked, and I am looking everywhere but /r/techsupport is currently private so I can't ask there. I have emailed them and contacted them on Facebook. Her cloud storage shows nearly empty, with only 60MB or so used, so I don't understand the whole: "there's no storage space available" if it was in fact storing on Cloud. If not, why?
I have no idea what to do. I apologised multiple times and I feel absolutely horrible but the more I say I'm sorry, the more annoyed she gets. I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: Set up my wife's new phone, deleted an app to make space and lost precious pictures.
EDIT: Thanks to /u/PigeonOnDrugs, I was able to recover everything!! I put in the dates that she was overseas and recovered some 1800 pictures (don't really know how the app works). Restored them and backed up all the pictures onto the computer myself!
Fucking Siri absolutely WILL call the police. She did it to me twice.
The first time, I was on a tirade bc I kept forgetting to put these goddamned patio rugs in my car to take to work.
I went out of my way to leave work and go back home to get these stupid rugs. While I was there I started bs’ing with the wife and left a little while later. I got maybe a block away and started mother fucking myself for being a dipshit and forgetting the rugs again.
So I pull up to my garage. PISSED. I am just raging. Knocking stuff over, cussing at everything in my path. I got a little violent on the mini shop vac. The top popped off and dirt and dust just POOFED all over the garage.
This is where I fucked up (the phone part anyway). All this raging got me all hot and sweaty so I ripped off my coat in the most violent and cartoonish way possible and chucked it in the passenger seat of my car. My phone was in the coat. Brand new iPhone 14 pro - complete with crash detection.
As I’m still on a rampage dealing with my exploded shop vac, I hear who I think is Siri talking through my Bluetooth and I respond with SHUT THE FUCK UP SIRIIIII and continue cleaning up.
After the rugs are in the car and the mess is somewhat contained, I hopped in and made my way back to work. As I’m getting off the highway, my wife calls and frantically asks where I am and if I’m ok. Then proceeds to tell me that there are six state troopers canvassing the outside property and woods and one who she let in and started looking through the house with a flashlight.
I had to shamefully come back to the house and prove that I was alive and well. The officer I talked to said the 911 dispatcher could hear a woman’s muffled screams and when they called back, there was no answer.
I totally understand the mix up and feel horrible that I scared the shit out of some poor 911 operator.
The second time she did it, I was simply telling the above story. Luckily I caught it as soon as she called them.
Since that first incident, our relationship has been strained. Whenever I have my AirPods in, she pays extra special attention to the things I say. One time I was mother fucking something and talking shit mumbling to myself and Siri chimes in and says, “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.”
I pause in confusion for a second and start to go back to my work and before I could even blink, she comes back in and says, “Hmm. That’s what I thought.”
Bitch.
Moral of the story is, watch what and how you say things around a new iPhone. The cops will come a searchin!
TL;DR - didn’t know new iPhones had crash detection. Siri called 911 while on a rampage without me knowing. Cops came
ETA: Yea, turn Siri off. I got it. Thanks. Also, was going through some serious shit and have it handled now. Am not here seeking advice. Thanks for your concern.
Edit 2: this was months ago. I’m not a violent risk toward any living being including myself.
TO WHOMEVER REPORTED ME AS A SUICIDE RISK -
I appreciate your concern, but fuck allllllll the way off. If you think someone is suicidal, reach out and be a human. Dont be some internet troll scum bag who thinks they are all self-righteous for labeling someone you think is in distress. If anything, I feel like knowing someone is secretly against them enough to report them to Reddit, would absolutely make things worse. Just go ahead and pile on the rejection for who YOU think is suicidal. SMH.
This just happened this morning.
So I've been having some discomfort and sort of constant dull ache behind my left eye for almost two weeks.
I've kind of just been waiting for it to go away. But after some intense googling, like an idiot I started to worry that I may be going blind or developing a massive tumor behind my eyeball. So I finally gave in and scheduled an eye exam.
Im 38 and I've ever been to an eye doctor for an exam, I think I had my eyes checked at a doctor once when I was a teenager or something. So I didn't really know what all went into an eye exam.
The doctor explained she was going to apply some eye drops to numb my eyes and then another to dilate my pupils before the examination. Cool, no problem let's do this.
So we do the exam with all the slides and tests, me super anxious because of the tumor she's inevitably about to discover behind my eyeball. Turns out my eyes and vision are fine, slight prescription but nothing worthy of glasses. She says to try a decongestant like Sudafed as it could just be sinus pressure causing the discomfort.
Never having an eye exam before, I didn't know how long my pupils would be dilated. She said it varies but it could be several hours. I'm a recovered drug addict, so now the first thing that comes to my mind is that I'm going to have to walk into a pharmacy with pupils the size of dinner plates and ask the pharmacist for Sudafed and expect her to believe that I'm really getting it for my sinuses. (people use sudafed to cook meth)
Instantly relieved to hear that I don't have an eye tumor, I'm then suddenly overcome with anxiety at the thought of being in public with my gigantic pupils. But it must be done.
Do I wear the sunglasses into the pharmacy or take them off? Well I decided wearing them the entire time I'm inside would be ridiculous, so I took them off and decided I could just squint and the light was bearable. I get to the counter and tell the older lady I just had an eye exam and the Dr told me to get Sudafed.
At this point it's important to know I haven't actually seen what my eyes look like because taking off my sun glasses to look in my rearview mirror was impossible do to the light sensitivity. So I have no idea what I look like.
The lady just looks at me for a second and then sends me to the end of the counter to talk to the pharmacist. The pharmacist was polite enough but I don't think she really bought my story. I used to use meth years ago so I know how ridiculous I must have looked trying to buy Sudafed while looking like I was geeked out of my mind, which only made me more nervous and look more fidgety.
She ended up selling me the box of Sudafed and I got some eye drops too, not so much because I needed them but to sell the story that I really was at an eye exam.
Once I got home I took a picture of my eyes so I could see what the pharmacist must have seen.
TL;DR- got an eye exam because of some discomfort. eye doctor dilated pupils and did tests. Everything is ok just probably sinus pressure, get some Sudafed. Went to pharmacy with huge pupils looking like a tweaker and had to try to convince them I needed the Sudafed for my sinuses not because I needed to cook meth.
Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
Let me set the scene. I'm on my way to an event on a sunny Sunday morning, driving to a train station to catch the train. The station is in a pretty divey area near me. I pull up and park, and just as I get out of the car, I feel a familiar pain in my lower stomach that can only mean one thing. My IBS is flaring up.
"Oh crap" I think to myself. Oh well, I'll use the toilets at the train station. So I power waddle to the station, clenching my buttocks with a force that could crush several coke cans.
I get to the station to find all the toilets are locked on a Sunday. Oh shit, now I really am in trouble. I panic and run back to the car park in the hope of finding a bush or well hidden area. I frantically scan the almost empty car park but alas, to no avail.
In a moment of shear desperation as I can feel myself about to have an accident, I figured the best option in this deserted car park would be to squat in between my car and the car next to me, that was the most privacy I was going to get. I checked the car to see if anyone was sat inside, thankfully it was empty. A quick scan of the car park assured me I was definitely alone.
So I pulled down my pants, braced myself in between the two cars, and squat down. What followed can only be described as moderately explosive diarrhoea. I was feeling like this was a new low for me, shitting in a dodgy train station car park on a Sunday morning, although with this being a particularly rough town, I thought to myself "I'm probably not the first person to shit in this car park and definitely won't be the last" Little did I know, things were about to get a whole lot worse....
After finishing and cleaning myself up (my IBS buddies will know we always carry emergency loo roll with us just in case!) I got back in my car, relieved that I got away without anyone seeing me. By this point I'd missed my train, so I pulled away to drive to another station to get a faster train.
As I reversed out, I realised I had made a terrible mistake. Whilst I had indeed correctly identified the car park was devoid of people, and the cars were unoccupied, in my haste to relieve myself, I had no thought to check the make and model of the car parked next to me.
It was a Tesla Model S.
Now those of you who own Tesla's or simp for Elon Musk will know where this is going. But for the normal people among us, let me explain the true horrific realisation that dawned upon me.
The Tesla Model S has this wonderful feature called Sentry Mode. When someone gets close or touches your Tesla, it will automatically start recording from its several external high definition wide angle cameras, with audio to boot. It will then save this footage, and send it to the owner's Tesla app with an alert that someone is tampering with their car.
So some poor fucker has been woken up at 0830am on a Sunday morning, to receive an alert their precious Tesla is being tampered with. They will have opened the app to find footage of my pale wobbly arse descending next to their car, followed by explosive diarrhea, with some monstrous farting noises and many expletives being groaned.
Fuck you Elon Musk, fuck you.
I'm now panicking, fully expecting a knock on my door from the police and possibly an ASBO. Or worse, for this footage to wind up on some dodgy scat website with the Tesla owner raking in the royalties.
TL;DR I shat next to a Tesla which filmed the whole thing
This happened when I was about 13. While I was in middle school my granny took myself and a friend to see Niagra falls, my first and (so far) only time being there. I wanted to be prepared for this adventure, so I brought a long all my trusty adventure gear - sunglasses, cargo shorts with the XL pockets, hiking shoes, mosquito proof shirt, and of course my full-brimmed camo hat with chin strap.
For one of the afternoons she booked us a boat tour of the lower falls. I donned my gear and boarded a very full boat complete with a quirky and knowledgeable tour guide. Being my enthusiastic self, I found a seat towards the front and sat next to my friend. The guide pointed out many of the natural and historical landmarks on the tour. While my head was on a swivel, I realized that the chin strap would swing and hit my face in an annoying way, so I lifted it above the front of the brim and folded it up so that it would stay out of my way.
The climax of the tour involved taking the boat close enough to the main waterfall so that you could actually feel the spray. As we approached, the guide was highlighting the wildlife that make there homes in the cliffs by the falls. Apparently, snakes are one such animal, and according to the guide they are quite prevalent in that area. In fact, he said it's not wholly uncommon for them to drop from the rocks onto a passing boat. While I don't have a snake phobia, I'm not exactly a fan of them, and especially not ones that drop onto a boat I'm on. He was just launching into one particular story about a large black snake that had dropped right in front of a woman on a tour boat like ours when my chin strap decided it was a good time to unfurl from the top of my hat and slowly dangle down right in front of my face.
Given the circumstances, my brain was convinced the aforementioned large black Niagra rock-dwelling snake had decided to join our tour and was dangling inches from my nose. My animal brain reacted in milliseconds, with a single thought: punch it. Hard. Why I decided the best option was to punch a snake directly towards my own face I'll never know...but that's exactly what I did. Hard. So hard that the head jolt my fist caused when slamming into my nose knocked my hat clear off and sent a good portion of my upper body into the patron behind me.
As I started to come to my senses and realize what actually happened, I felt the warm trickle of blood creep out of my nose and drop onto my cargo shorts. I looked over at my friend and the tour guide, who were both staring at me in complete shock. After my extremely embarrassed 13 year old self was able to stop the bleeding, disembark and calm down a little, I was able to share a laugh with my friend. Hearing it from his perspective was the best part - I was just sitting there enjoying the tour one moment and then out of nowhere I'm punching myself in the face really effing hard. Like, he could hear the impact. After we finally got back to the room I realized I'd left my hat on the boat, and we both decided it was probably for the best.
TLDR: During a tour of Niagra falls while the guide was talking about snakes dropping from the cliffs the chin strap I'd stowed above above my full-brimmed hat dropped down in front of me and I punched myself in the face really hard.
While this didnt happen today, today was the date I realized that I had FU.
So my grandmother is a very sweet lady who converted to islam in her 50s about 20 years ago. She is very sweet and one of the only muslims that I know. She lives in another state in the countryside while most of my immediate family are in a whole different state. This means that we do not visit her often, but send her cards and keep in touch with her digitally.
Well, I am a geology major, and had decided to visit my grandmother for my graduation trip. Well, during my trip, we visited a land she had recently bought in the middle of nowhere but with high acreage. It's a good property overall and I'm excited for her overall. However, in the middle of the tour she says:
"OP which direction goes to Saudi?"
I say:
"Saudi?"
She says:
"Yes, Saudi Arabia, the country"
Well, I am a geology major, but not that well versed in geography. So I just point to the north and say that way. She tells me whether I am confident, and wanting to impress her I say 100% certain. I had no idea why a white woman would be looking for a country in Middle East, so I just figured she was just quizzing me on geography.
Well here is the TIFU.
A few years go on and I don't get a chance to visit her again until this week. I visited her today, and she was excited to show me the house she built on the land. It's a good house, but weirdly positioned. I asked her about it and she told me she wanted the house to face Mecca, so that she would always know where to pray towards. For those of you who dont know, all muslims face Mecca (city in Saudi) to pray. To make matters worse, she remembered that I had helped her finding Saudi a few years ago on my previous visit, so I didnt had the heart to tell her that her prayers are faced towards the North Pole instead of her desired location. Hopefully she doesnt find out though.
TL;DR: Told my grandmother haphazardly that the direction to Mecca is towards the north, so now she has built a house facing the North Pole instead of Mecca. IE she has been praying in the incorrect direction for several years now.
Context: First, we have our cows and bulls in closed corrals, which are enclosed by a recently built metal pipe fence around our house. Since we didn't have a fence around the house, we had to keep our cattle inside these corrals. Yesterday morning, I woke up to discover that one of our pregnant cows had given birth to a very handsome male calf. In the corral, there was the new mother with her newborn, as well as the father, a 1,800-pound Black Angus bull.
Now, this bull and I have had our problems, mainly on his part, as I have been mostly responsible for feeding him and providing water. This is why we had to put a nose ring on him to control his temperament. Since the newborn calf was only a few hours old, it kept mistaking the bull for its mother and tried to suck milk from him even though there was none. My mom saw this and was worried that the calf might get sick, as we had experienced the loss of previous young calves. She suggested that it would be a good idea to get the bull out of the corral and tie him somewhere else ( not let him roam free due to a welder working on our fence). I followed her suggestion since I had done this before when we needed to clean the corrals. However, I didn't consider that the bull was much younger during those previous instances.
As before, I opened the corral doors and grabbed the rope attached to the bull's nose ring to lead him outside. I held the rope close to his face to maintain control and prevent any dangerous behavior. I managed to pull him all the way to the metal pipe fence that surrounds our house, although he resisted. All that was left was to make a knot, and it would be done.
Here's where IFU. I let go of the rope slightly and turned my back on the bull to make the knot, and that's when he attacked me. I'm not sure how it happened since my back was towards him, but I ended up on the ground with my back against the second lowest pipe, and the bull ramming his head into my abdomen. All I could do at that moment was scream (manly scream) with the little air I had left in me.
I'm trying to recall how it felt, and all that comes to mind is one of those movie scenes where a character falls into rapids and is helpless against the overwhelming force. There are two things I remember from that moment. First, I thought to myself, "Wow, I can't believe this is happening to me." Second, I looked down at my abdomen and saw the bull's eyes staring at me while he exerted his weight on me. This went on for at least ten seconds until I suddenly felt lighter and quickly pushed myself to the other side of the fence through the openings between the pipes. I spent the following minute trying to catch my breath.
It turns out the welder had pulled the bull's tail, causing him to let me go for a moment. Luckily for me, Angus bulls are naturally hornless; otherwise, this post might not exist. As of now, I'm sore in my abdomen and back. Dont feel like theres anything broken, and if there's bleeding its internal which is where blood is supposed to be, jk of course. Needless to say, this incident will not be tolerated, and we will be having carne asada this Saturday.
TL;DR: I tried to move a bull to protect a newborn calf, but the bull charged at me, ramming my abdomen. I escaped through the fence and now I'm sore. Carne asada planned for this saturday.
I just spent 1 1/2 months in Thailand and it was time to come home, so I booked a flight with Japan Airlines to JFK in New York with 2 stops - one in Osaka and one in Tokyo. Since all flights were operated by JAL, I assumed when booking that my bags would be checked all the way through. At Bangkok Airport, I was told that I needed to get my bags in Osaka and re-check them - no problem. On the way to Osaka, my flight attendant hands me 2 cards to fill out. One of them asking if I had any criminal convictions. I was arrested 3 years ago for a small amount of weed and paid a fine and I did not want to lie to them, so I checked yes.
Here is where the shit storm begins - I get to immigration so I can go get my bags, and she double checks with me to ensure that I meant to check yes on the box asking about criminal conviction. She asks me about the conviction and I tell her it is for marijuana. She starts laughing and speaking with the guy next to her, fills out a form, and puts my passport in a folder with the form. A man comes over and escorts me to a room to ask me questions with a translator on speaker. He explained to me that it is impossible to let me in the country. I told him I don’t really need to enter and it is fine if an employee can get my bag checked for me and I will stay in transfers. He then explains that he cannot allow me to fly to Tokyo. He says that since they cannot verify what I claim, they must confirm with the American embassy which can take a long time. They then make me sign a form basically withdrawing my landing so I have to go back to Bangkok.
So here I am, 6 hours later after landing, waiting for another flight back to Bangkok so I can book another flight to go home. -$700 👍🏻 Glad I learned I am not welcome this way instead of booking a vacation here in the future. That’s what I get for being honest.
TLDR: Booked a flight home with connections in Japan and needed to re-check my bags. Was asked about my criminal history for immigration and answered honestly about my one marijuana charge. Unbeknownst to me, Japan does not allow you to enter the country no matter what type or how long ago the drug charge was. Am currently stuck in immigration while I wait for a 9pm flight back to Bangkok, am out $700, and waiting 13 hours.
So actually this happened a few days ago. And I'm still recovering. So basically on the day in question I (23m) had decided that I was going to try to quit smoking cannabis. I have had a problem with marijuana for a very long time. It's not good for my mental health and I've been trying to quit ever since i was 15.The problem is that I get really bad withdrawal with mood swings which is compounded by my bipolar and psychosis. So what might be discomfort and slight agitation for some people for me its horrendous mood swings with explosive outbursts. I'm never violent towards anyone but the agitation and outbursts can cause me to self harm. So I had planned to have some kolonopin on hand in case things got really bad. Kolonopin is a anti anxiety drugs incase you didnt know. I also had a handle of vodka with me, all to try and sooth the pain of withdrawl. So I start the day off and I'm starting my tolerance break and at some point during the day I started getting agitated so I take a few of the klonopin and took a few shots. At some point during the day I was talking to one of my friend groups. The only part that I remember is that I was hysterically crying on the phone to my friend and during that call i told him "f*** you". So I went on to take even more colonopin The next day I counted my bottle and I had taken 9 mg of colonopin and drank about half a handle of vodka. I have no idea what I had said to my friends but i know it was bad because at one point i remember just laying into one of my friends just absolutely going off on them. And they no longer want to speak to me which I don't blame them. The way I acted was despicable and I'm so ashamed. The only piece of advice I can give you is NEVER under any circumstance EVER mix alcohol with benzos. Benzo's are the devil and alcohol is a demon. Coming out of a benzo blackout is the worst thing in the world trying to piece together the last few days cause you can't remember. TL:DR Got drunk and took benzos to try and help weed withdrawl, blacked out and ruined 3 friendships.
Before I begin: fireworks should always be kept out of reach of children and never be used inside the house, even innocent "kid" fireworks like pop-its.
This isn't as crazy as some of the stories in here, but I feel so stupid that I thought this would make someone chuckle and hopefully feel better about themselves.
While I was on the phone with insurance, my kids (6 and 5) found the pop-it fireworks we had recently purchased and opened the box inside the house, leaving a good deal of them unpopped and on the carpet along with that sawdust stuff that comes in the box, then they eventually went outside to the backyard. When I finished my call, I found the mess and considered making the kids pick up their fireworks, but they were now outside playing and I simply did not want to aggro their attention (plus I feel I had been nagging them all morning and I kinda felt bad.) To preserve the rare quiet inside the house, I decided to pick up the fireworks myself, but there were so many of them and the carpet was already messy and needed cleaning anyway, so I skipped picking them up by hand and proceeded to turn the old dirt-devil on. Something in my head said it was probably not a good idea to vacuum up a whole packet's worth of pop-its, but I was exhausted and already mentally drained and desperately needing another cup of coffee, so I disregarded the voice and ran the vacuum over those pop-its.
They exploded with the force of 1000 suns inside the vacuum, it started smoking and stopped spinning, and then the kids came running into the house with about a hundred questions each, followed by a bunch of crying because why on earth would mama suck up their fireworks? I opened up the vacuum to see if I could fix it, but the motor had all this black soot in it and there was an electric smell coming from it. I cleaned it up and tried turning it on again but the smell got worse (another incredibly stupid thing, I know) so I quickly turned it off. Now I have to break the news to my husband that we either need a new motor or an entirely new vacuum for such an incredibly stupid decision on my part.
TL;DR: I vacuumed up a bunch of pop-its and broke our vacuum
This just happened a few hours ago.
It's been nice out recently, and my kids and I have spent a lot of time on our backyard trampoline. I love trampolines, always have, and luckily my kids do too.
I work from home, and I felt like getting some fresh air, so I went out and started jumping on the trampoline a little just for fun and some exercise. We've got a basketball hoop on there, so I was bouncing around, dunking the ball, just having fun. I'm 42 with some minor knee issues, so I was taking breaks here and there; there's nothing more comfortable than taking a micro-nap on a trampoline on a cool spring day with the sun shining.
I didn't bother to change my clothes beforehand, so I was wearing the same old ripped jeans, wrinkly stained white v-neck undershirt, and trucker hat that I'd been wearing while building Drupal websites for work all day. I also have a fairly bushy beard and haven't showered yet today, so my hair is all bed-headed and my beard is kinda unkempt (I clean up nice, I swear). In hindsight, I can see how this might have looked a little strange, since I was on a trampoline with no kids in sight, and my attire wasn't really appropriate for the activity. Also, something about bouncing on a trampoline makes me laugh, so I'm always grinning like an psychopath the whole time.
The other factor was my dog. He does not approve of the trampoline. Whenever someone is on it, he's running around frantically, barking at the top of his lungs. Usually, I put him inside, but I didn't really care this time since it was just me, and frankly his reaction is kind of funny. But the way he barks about anything, he sounds pretty alarmed if you don't know him. Almost as if I was an intruder who didn't belong on that trampoline.
I was on there for about an hour. I was taking a nap on the trampoline when I was awoken by someone saying "SIR! SIR!" I opened my eyes and there were two police officers staring at me through the mesh safety wall of the trampoline.
Apparently someone had observed a middle-aged bearded guy, wearing ratty clothes, jumping on a trampoline all by himself, intermittently napping on said trampoline, with an alarmed dog running around the trampoline barking at him, and thought, "This doesn't look right." And then called 911.
In hindsight, I get it. I'm 6'4", lanky, and just don't look like I belong on a trampoline in any way, certainly not ALONE on a trampoline. I probably would have thought I was on meth or something too.
The cops very firmly insisted that I exit the trampoline, which I did - BUT the opening in the netting just isn't meant for someone my size, and I was suddenly nervous, so I fumbled with it for a bit and then kinda half-fell out of the trampoline. Didn't look good. (Here I should mention - I was totally stone sober.) Little did they know that this is pretty much how I always exit the trampoline; it's never graceful.
They were pretty skeptical of me for a minute or two, but it didn't take too long to clear things up. They were pretty cool about it and we even laughed a little by the end, even though their general demeanor told me that they still thought I was a fucking weirdo. Which I guess I am, but whatever.
TL;DR: jumped on my own trampoline while looking like a crazy homeless guy, someone called the cops.