I bought this random item in a flee market in Berlin because it looked cool and it was cheap. It’s been in my wardrobe ever since until I took it out yesterday to take photos of it because I found out about the page. Lots of people came back with different answers but a few people said it looked like it was radioactive and that I should go to my local fire station to check it. This morning I phoned the non-emergency fire brigade number and explained the situation. Two minutes later 3 fire engines arrive to test the object which was in fact radioactive. They then called for backup and 3 ambulances 3 police cars and a counterterrorism CBRN bomb disposal unit arrive. They evacuate all the flats in the building and after 4 hours they finally remove the object. It turned out to be Thorium (I’m not sure about the isotope number or radiation levels)

Here is the link to the original post:

TL;DR Object I bought in a flee market is identified as radioactive thanks to Reddit and fire brigade

I (27m) was adopted as an infant. I always knew. My parents never hid this from me or made it something shameful. But I never liked to talk about it with others. It normally opens up a lot of questions about my biological (or real as some would call them) parents. Or some people start talking about my parents like they're not really my parents. I had it happen when I was a lot younger and started school and told people my "special story". So after we moved when I was 8 I stopped talking about it and acted to others like my parents are my bio parents.

I told my fiancée when we started dating but apart from her and some very close friends I never talk about it with people. To me it's not something that anyone else needs to know. This includes my fiancée's family.

My adopted status was revealed to my fiancée's family during a recent visit of theirs. I got a knock on the door from a PI who informed me my biological parents were interested in contact with me and they overheard. They had a lot of questions but primarily they were angry at me, for two reasons. Firstly, and most importantly for this post, because I didn't tell them. They did not like "being kept in the dark" and did not like my fiancée's response that it wasn't any of their business. Secondly, because I expressed to the PI I was not interested in any contact with them and asked him to pass this onto my biological parents. My fiancée's family had the very reaction I try to avoid from people and they asked how I could turn down the chance to know my "real family".

But the primary criticism is that I did not tell them and let them find out that way. They said they could have had grandkids affected by this and I wouldn't tell them. My fiancée reminded them it was none of their business and she had them leave early when they refused to let the topic go. But her parents are still pissed at me.

AITA?

Since they were 11 years old, my daughter (16F) has been best friends with a girl who I’ll call Skye. They both bonded over being rather quirky and overachieving girls. Throughout the years, my daughter stayed quirky, while Skye matured quicker. She started wearing makeup, dating, going to parties, etc. Despite their differences they still remained close until last year.

Skye ended up getting pregnant with one of the popular girl’s boyfriend. She got an abortion, and my daughter accompanied her for support. A few days later, a rumour started spreading about the abortion. Skye automatically assumed it was my daughter for some reason, and turned everyone in their friend group against her. After that my daughter gained a reputation of being a ‘snitch’ who spreads rumours about her own best friends. My daughter was miserable at school. She didn’t have a single friend and would spend every lunchtime sulking by herself. I’ve tried going to the teachers, but they said that exclusion is not bullying and you can’t force kids to be friends with someone.

Skye recently found out the real culprit behind the rumour: the popular girl whose boyfriend got Skye pregnant. My daughter tried to make things up with Skye now that the situation was all sorted, but Skye decided to continue scapegoating my daughter because she didn’t want to stand up to the popular kids.

I have tried supporting my daughter, signing her up for therapy sessions, encouraging her to make new friends, but she still regularly came home crying over Skye, saying that it’s her fault everyone at school hates her.

A few days ago, Skye’s parents made a social media post pretty much denouncing their daughter. Apparently, someone send them an anonymous email giving them proof exposing their daughter’s behaviour, including: getting an abortion, having several ex boyfriends/girlfriends, being bisexual, smoking marijuana, vaping, and getting drunk.

I asked my daughter if she had anything to do with it. She admitted that she told Skye’s parents, knowing full well how religious and conservative they are. She even bragged about how her actions resulted in Skye getting kicked out the house, dropping out of school, and becoming homeless.

I know she’s hurting, but that’s no excuse to put a child in that situation. I want to give her a punishment — grounding her, confiscating her phone/macbook, deleting her social media, making her get a part time job — anything to teach her to consequences of her actions. But my husband thinks my reaction is too extreme. He said Skye ruined our daughter’s social life and she was only getting payback. He told me that punishing our daughter would be teaching her to become a doormat who never stands up for herself. He said our daughter did nothing wrong exposing Skye's delinquent behaviour, and accused me of prioritising a bully over our own child.

AITA?

Hi so I think my wife is single handedly the cause of all her problems. Im done pretending im at fault. Kind of done with her in general and I see divorce on the horizon like a bright sun rise.

TL;DR my wife said she regretted marrying me she regretted getting pregnant and wished she got an abortion. Our son heard and told her fine she's no longer his mother go fuck yourself. Personally I think dont say shit you don't mean if you're not ready to accept the consequences.

So, me and my wife got together in college, things were fine and I proposed when I was 23 and she was 22. People might say that's young and yeah probably but we didn't get married until we were 25 and 26. Well she got pregnant at 24 and we had a son. I wanna say, I didn't force her to have him. I told her I'd love to have him personally I was ready but if she wanted to wait a bit im ok with that too. She chose to go through with the pregnancy.

We start getting ready for the baby and I told her because of our living situation if she wants she can go back to work and continue her career we can afford a long term baby sitter. Our living situation is my aunt and uncle are successful and they own a second home where we live. We just pay bills like electricity and shit. Not bad at all so we have extra cash. She said no she wants to stay with our son be a SAHM. Sure idc I'm fine with that bond with our baby.

Well she got PPD. Didn't bond with baby. I told her to go to therapy because this wasnt going to fly me bringing in 100% of the money me paying 100% of the bills me taking care of our baby 100% of the time that I'm at home. She didn't want to work and she refused to care for the baby so I had to get a babysitter everyday Monday thru Friday anyway.

I was sympathetic at first I get it having a baby is difficult but shit 2 years of that and you start resenting them for not dping anything and refusing to get help. Constant fighting about her doing nothing and how I'm tired of being with her. I told her at one point it was either get help or im divorcing her and she can go back to live with her parents at the age of 27 which they've made it aware they won't be happy with that. She went back to work but not her college degree career no she chose to work at the local cigarette shop store. At this point I just didnt care it was something good enough I just became indifferent. We stopped being intimate we stopped talking about shit other than our son were basically roommates.

That's our marriage. He's now 17. Me and my wife got into it because I told her I'm done. Completely done our son is almost 18 hes preparing himself for college which is completely paid for by me and his grandparents and when he's gone I'm gone. She freaked out told me I'm worthless she wishes she never met me she hates she got pregnant and wish she aborted our son when I told her she could. He over heard (obviously?) and he came out and yelled at her and told her "fine have it your way you're not my mother anymore go fuck yourself".

Well, IMO reap what you sow. She's now upset he wants nothing to do with her it's been 2 months and he does not talk to her or interact with her in anyway. He works a part time job he buys everything he needs he has his own car he doesn't need her for anything. If he needs something he asks me for extra cash or help with his car shit like that but he avoids her like the plague. She's pissed at me and wants me to make him talk to her and I said me and her are done which ive made clear idk what she's expecting from me but if he's also done then maybe she shouldn't say shit she doesn't mean. If he wants to forgive then he can but im not going to make him or even suggest that he should hes old enough to make his own decisions and understand his feelings. I'd be hurt if my parent said that about me.

Idk if I'm the asshole, if I am then it is what it is but I guess I want an outside opinion. I'm not willing to do anything different but just wanna know because her friends have been harassing me saying im a shit husband.

My sister (33f) and I (29f) are both expecting our first baby. My sister is super in love with vintage names and for about a decade has talked everyone's ear off about how much she wants to have babies with these names. I know her top three names for boys and girls are Edith, Martha, Audrey (for girls) and Alan, Harold, Stanley (for boys). I'm not sure which of these names my future niece or nephew will get but I know they are still my sisters top choices.

My husband and I are not going for vintage names or classic names. We chose Lyric which is pretty modern and not super common. My sister doesn't know the name yet but she is aware of some names we chose not to use (we chose not to use names that could be difficult to spell or say based on the spelling) and she was upset we didn't have any vintage names on there.

She made all these suggestions and I told her thanks but we had a different type of name we wanted. She asked why we didn't want to have the cousins match styles and she said how cute it would be to have two little cousins with matching old people names. She had this idea of doing this photoshoot when the babies are born where we dress them like grannies/grandpas and she said the old names would make everything so much more perfect.

I stopped talking about it when she did not take no for an answer. I got lists of vintage names, sent articles on how vintage names are in style right now. I ignored it all. She even sent me Instagram and TikTok accounts where influences have babies with these vintage names and she's like ooh, look how cute. Doesn't this name sounds so sweet for this little baby. Doesn't the vintage name add to the cuteness.

I didn't engage or buy into any of it.

Now my sister is crying and saying I'm ruining this and she commented like she can't use a vintage name for her baby because we're not. I told her just because I'm not giving my daughter a vintage name it doesn't mean she can't use a vintage name for her baby. I pointed out they are two separate people, with different parents and don't need to match. She cried it won't be the same and why can't I see how dismissive my comment is.

AITA?

I (16f) lost my mom 15 weeks ago. It's been hell. I live with my stepdad and stepsister still. I do have other family, a part of me would prefer to be with my bio family members, but my mom wanted me to try and make this work so for her I'll try a while longer. My bio father doesn't want to know so it's not like I have another "parent".

Mom got married to my stepdad when I was 4 and stepsister was 8. She hated mom and everything about her for as long as I can remember. She gave her such a hard time. My stepsister lost her mom when she was 2 and even though mom never tried to erase her mom and never tried to make my stepsister call her mom or anything, she was always throwing it in her face that mom had replaced hers. Even though she didn't remember her mom she was really obsessed with this idea that my mom was some evil person who went in and stole her mom's life. My stepsister had all kinds of therapy growing up.

When she had her daughter 3 years ago she leaned on mom for babysitting a lot. She still treated mom like trash but mom was free babysitting and mom adored that little girl. She saw her as a grandchild even though my stepsister didn't let her daughter call mom grandma or anything. Even when my mom was sick she babysat.

My stepsister has been bitching about paying for childcare since mom died and she has said some really awful things since my mom died. My stepdad and her fought a little over it. But he doesn't want to lose her, his only kid and his grandkid. But it bothers me. My stepsister has expressed how glad she is her daughter won't remember my mom and that she won't ever be mentioned around her child. How she won't even let her see photos of my mom. Then she said my mom had been a pathetic waste of oxygen and how good it was to not deal with her anymore. I snapped and asked her why she let mom babysit her kid so much if she was such an awful person and I told her she should look in a mirror because she's the one who turned out to be a truly awful person.

My stepsister told me I have no right to question her and I should shut my fucking mouth around her. My stepdad said nothing. But he gave off the vibe that he didn't like me speaking to his daughter the way I did.

AITA?

Throwaway Account:

I (34m) have been taking care of my sister's (32f) daughter for around 6 years. This all started when my sister got arrested for felony theft and drug charges. She's been a longtime addict, poor mouther, and family manipulator. No one else in my family stepped up, so I offered to take my niece in while my sister did drug treatment to avoid jail. From the beginning, my niece, then around 10, didn't want anything to do with her mom. I thought that was odd; but over the first few months I had her, my niece opened up about her mom having treated her very poorly. I sought a guardianship for my niece, and told my sister that I would not willingly send my niece back to her unless my sister got off the drugs and sorted her life out.

My sister initiated a legal fight with me to terminate the guardianship. I grew to love this kid like my own, and I didn't want to send her back to a bad environment. It cost me six figures over the course of a year-and-a-half in legal fees. I won. I managed to marshal substantial evidence of my sister's ongoing substance abuse and the court relied upon the report of a court-appointed guardian ad litem who reported favorably about my niece in my care and about my niece's negative view of her mother.

At some point in the legal process--as I was shelling out five-figure monthly legal bills--I learned that, as my niece's guardian, I was entitled to child support, so I filed the forms to seek it, and won it.

The state oversees the support award, and is apparently pretty thorough in seeking it. Garnishing paychecks and bank accounts. Now--years on--I am starting to get pressure from other family to forgive the child support. I have family reaching out to me saying my sister is doing better and just can't get ahead having to give up portions of her paycheck every month. With back amounts, it's like 30k in back support that I am owed. I don't need it, really, if I'm being honest. I make a good living--better than anyone else in my family has done.

In all likelihood, sister's debt it will never be paid in full. But I don't want to let it go. I've started telling relatives, "Hey--that's great that you want to help [sister]--why don't you pay me her 30k debt plus the present value of the award until niece is 18--and then I'll forgive [sister's] obligation." Relatives have been huffy at that response.

My sister initiated a fight with me knowing full well she was back on drugs, and lied about it, and got caught in open court. It was all a waste of a large amount of money, in my prime years, that I would have otherwise saved and set aside to retire on, or pay for my niece's education. I'm still mad about it, and my sister can owe me it forever for all I care. AITAH?

TIFU by making an anonymous Glassdoor review. I work for a smaller credit union in Seattle and I made a review on Glassdoor about my complete experience there over the past year I’ve been there. I mentioned hardships in having to report sexual harassment and experiencing immediate subsequent retaliation, difficulties in switching departments or attaining promotions, being denied skill enhancement mentorship programs or licensing offered to others of the same job title at other locations, and the immense difficulty in being able to schedule an interview for an internal job posting that would be a technical demotion that is taking over a month to do.

HR responded to the Glassdoor post and implied they knew who the person posting is, and suggested on their public reply that I reach out to HR for “resources.” The next day I had an impromptu in-person meeting with two work from home HR reps. One was an employee resource HR representative and the other, an HR Business Partner.

I didn’t get fired, but I basically had a really strange conversation with these representatives that spent the better part of the meeting trying to get me to acknowledge it was I who made the post. I merely agreed with what the poster was saying, and tried to address the issues that I’ve experienced. It was met with a lot of hostility but in the end we reached a middle ground of how the meeting was a “learning opportunity for all parties.”

I’m absolutely leaving the company as soon as I secure another job.

TL;DR TIFU by making a Glassdoor review and HR found out, I almost got fired, but am looking for the exit door anyway so fuck it.

My son got a job at Walmart and I took him to work one day and we were early for his shift so he can look for some shirts and pants for work.

He finds a few shirts and some jeans and he heads to the changing room.

The elderly lady that was working the area greeted us and let my son in one of the rooms.

He is in there a few minutes and when he comes out he has a new shirt on and a pair of jeans on and this was our conversation:

Son: "the pants are too small".

Dad: "get the next size up then, that should help"

Son: "but im a size 30"

Dad: "every brand is different, either get a bigger size or try a different brand and see if that helps"

So he goes and gets another pair of pants to try and goes back into the room and changes.

When he comes out he again says they are too tight.

Dad: "well, you need to get a size bigger than that one evidently"

Son: "but im a size 30, i want to wear a 30"

Me, being the totally lovable and considerate father reply “Son, you may want a 30, but your ass isn't a 30.”

My sons only reply was a softly said "dammit" and turned back to the changing room.

At this point the lady working the fitting room has totally lost it and has tears running down her face from laughing so hard.

This happened about 2 years ago when I was still in dental school. I'm sorry about any mistakes, English isn't my first language.

I want to start by saying that I'm a very nice dentist, I'm not a nice person at all but I'm very nice to my patients. I'm also pretty good at my job. I won't say I'm the best but I know that I'm good. That day however I was NOT in a good mood.

A lot of terrible things happened to me in the morning that ruined my day and as if that wasn't enough, I went to my job just to find out that Doctor Smith (fake name obviously) is the attending doctor. He is the worst. He will show up 15 MINUTES after we start working on our patients. I don't think he realizes that we are just students and we might need help.

Anyway it just put me in a worse mood.

So the secretary gave me a patient. One thing you need to know is that if the patient wants a same gender doctor because of religious reasons then we HAVE TO give them a same gender doctor but if the patient wants another doctor for no good reason then it's up to us, we can sent them to another doctor or we can tell them that it's either me or no one and they are free to leave if they don't like me.

I got the patient, I put on a smile and approached her, she looked at me and said "Hi I'm waiting for doctor Jones" I said "Yeah I am doctor Jones" She looked at me again, clearly disappointed and said "oh I assumed Doctor Jones is a man" I tried to use my nicest voice while answering "Well you were wrong"

There was silence for a moment while I prepared my thing then I heard a fake short laugh from her "Look honey I'm not saying you are bad at your job, I'm sure you are really good at it. But I want to extract my tooth and that requires lots of strength and I believe it would be better suited for a male doctor" Now I'm so angry but still trying to be nice "I assure you I have extracted many teeth before and I can do it as well as any man" She didn't say anything.

I left to get some more things that I needed and as soon as I left I saw her jump from her chair and went to the male NURSE and begged him to extract the teeth instead of me, who calmly explained to her that he is not a doctor and she should just let me do my job. Now I'm fuming.

I went back to her and said "Do you want a male doctor?" She said yes I do. I said fine then.

I looked around and there he was, the exact person I was looking for, Kai. Kai is one of my classmates and he sucks at his job. He is absolutely terrible. We even had a bet on when he will be kicked out.

I took the patient to Kai and asked him if he wants to have my patient. He was more than happy to do so.

Then I sat back and watched and to my delight, Kai was also with doctor Smith, which means he wouldn't get any help for the first 10-15 minutes. It was like Christmas come early.

It was a disaster, I loved every second of it. I don't want to go through how much pain the patient was in but I will say that she was in tears when it was finally done. It's a pitty that Kai dropped out shortly after. I would have sent all of these kinds of patients to him.

I’m a Japanese univ student currently living in Shanghai and my friends are a mix of foreigners and locals. We often go to the clubs to pick up girls and today was one of those days. I after about 30 minutes in the club I started talking to this Chinese girl in English and we decided to go back to her place. After having sex she asked for my WeChat and I gave it to her but she started freaking out after finding out my surname is Japanese. She basically yelled at me and forced me out while threatening to call the police. This was a shocker to me and never happened in the 6 months that I was here. I asked my friend who is a local and he said it happens sometimes and I should have told her I’m Japanese before I had sex with her. AITAH?

I had a neighbor, Grappa, who was more like family than just the man next door. After my dad died when I was 4, he became a huge part of our lives, constantly helping my mom and me – financially and emotionally. Grappa’s own kids lived states away and hardly ever visited, maybe 10 times in 24 years. He was lonely, and I became the closest thing he had to a grandson.

In the last few months of his life, things got really bad. He lost control of his body and couldn’t speak anymore. My mom moved in to care for him after doctors recommended house care, and I was there every day after classes. His kids didn’t even show up until he was in the hospital, 3 weeks before he passed. After he died, they stayed at his house while we waited for the will to be read (the lawyer had already sent notices, and I was initially surprised I received one)

I was floored when the will revealed Grappa left me his 3-bedroom apartment in the city (which he had bought some years ago as an investment and was renting it out) and $50k, while his own kids got $75k and his personal possessions. The kicker? Grappa willed his house to be sold, with the money going to charity and his grandkids’ college funds. They were livid and had a meltdown instantly but couldn't contest the will because it was watertight.

After the reading, his kids approached me privately. They told me to "do the right thing" and give them the apartment. They even offered me $50k under the table to hand it over, saying it was their rightful inheritance. I refused the ridiculously low offer.

They then became vulgar and threatening, and rather personal about my mom's relationship with Grappa. I wasnt actually willing for all these complications, and I was actually thinking of a favorable negotiation. This was the last straw that broke my back. I told them to go fuck themselves, I'm keeping it.

One of them threatened to go public (for what idk but she is a reporter), smear my reputation, and make it seem like I and mom manipulated a lonely old man into giving me everything.

I'm holding my ground, and now they’re accusing me of taking advantage of him. Friends and even some family members are telling me I should've just taken their offer to avoid drama. I told them to fuck right off too. I've lawyered up, just in case,and have kept records carefully.

Am I selfish? Am I greedy? AITAH?

So I (28F) am engaged to my fiancé (31M), and we’ve been together for 4 years. Honestly, it’s been great for the most part. He’s thoughtful, kind, and we’ve always communicated well... until recently.

A few weeks ago, he casually mentioned that he wanted to invite his ex-girlfriend, Sarah, to our wedding. they dated for about 5 years and broke up, like, 7 years ago. He keeps saying they’re just friends and that there’s nothing between them anymore. But from what I know, their breakup was kinda messy and they didn’t talk for a while after it. I don’t know Sarah personally, but from what I’ve heard, she was a pretty big part of his life back then.

When he first brought it up, I was shocked. Like, who invites their ex to their wedding?? It just feels super inappropriate to me. This is supposed to be our day, and now he wants to bring someone who was literally a big part of his past relationship history? I told him I wasn’t comfortable with it at all, and he got defensive. He said it’s his wedding too (duh) and that he should be able to invite people who are important to him. He even said his family would love to see her there since they all still like her.

I just feel like... why is he putting her feelings before mine? I feel like the wedding should be about celebrating us, not bringing in people from old relationships. Everytime I try to talk to him about how I feel, he says I’m overreacting and being insecure, and that I “don’t trust him.” But that’s not it at all – I trust him, but I don’t see why she needs to be involved in our day.

Now I’m seriously rethinking everything. If he can’t respect how uncomfortable this makes me, what’s next? Am I crazy for considering calling off the whole wedding because of this? AITA for feeling like this is a huge red flag?

This happened at work last year, thought you all would like it. So I work for a big tech company, as a building maintenance tech. I do repairs, handle contractors, move office furniture, that kind of thing. But most of my coworkers are tech types with engineering degrees. Some of them are nice, down to earth kind of people, but many of them let their "importance" go to their heads. This guy though, takes the cake.

So we had a very very nice desk set aside in an empty office. It was meant to be moved to the office of one of our bigwigs. But she was out of town for a few months, so we were storing it until we had her input on what she wanted removed to make room for it. This low-level, new hire engineer decided to set up shop in the spare room we were keeping the desk in. He was told that as long as his supervisor ok-ed it, he could stay, but that we would be coming to get the desk any day and not to get attached.

Well the day comes to move the desk and this guy. Lost. His. Shit. He was pissed. Yelling that he deserved that desk, he was an engineer, how dare we. My team just kind of shrugged and took the desk anyway, so he turned his rage onto the poor front desk guy, for some reason. Just went off.

Well front desk guy doesn't take shit from anyone and got the guy's supervisor and HR involved, which opened up an investigation into Mr. Bigshot Engineer. And guess what they found? He'd lied on his resume! He was in no way qualified for his position! I guess a fresh set of eyes saw some kind of red flag the hiring manager hadn't. So yeah, he was promptly fired. Amazing that he almost got away with it and blew it over a dumb desk.

(25/m) Very early on in the relationship with my girlfriend (25/f), she told me that she had to be in an open relationship. I hadn't been in one before but I said I'll give it a try. And it was clear when we talked about it that either of us could sleep with whoever we wanted. I said okay. We've been dating for 11 months and overtime I really started to love her. I know she has quite a few very casual partners but no other serious relationships. I actually didn't have any other partners though cause I was so happy just being with her. Then two months ago I was drunk and I met a girl at a party and we slept together. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong whatsoever, so when it came up with my girlfriend I didn't try to hide it, but she was really upset. She said it was disrespectful for me to do that. I was kind of shocked. I'm fine with not sleeping with other people but the problem is now she's like really paranoid and controlling ever since then, like accusing me of looking at other girls or flirting with them all the time, always looking at my phone and wanting me to check in with her every hour when I'm out and let her track my location, etc. It's really bothering me. So basically she wants to have an open relationship only on her side. She says she loves me and I should be loyal to her, but when I bring up how the rule doesn't apply to her she gets angry. She says that so many women are not satisfied in their relationship and she's not gonna be one of and I'm not gonna hold her back etc. I get it but it doesn't feel right. I love her a lot but I'm seriously thinking about breaking up with her. Am I overreacting?

I'm a father to 4 daughters (Olivia, age 19, Christine, age 17, Eliza, age 15, and Aria, my youngest age 12) their mom and I divorced 6 years ago. Now I'm getting married to my fiancee Daniela soon. Daniela is the sweetest woman I'd ever met. She's kind, caring, and selfless. She loves my daughters a lot but my daughters at first did not accept her and it has caused so much tension. Quite frankly, the girls at the beginning were outright aggressive toward her. They openly disliked her and fought against her in many ways, including, saying offensive things to her, and vandalizing some of her stuff. There was so much struggle and I honestly did not think there would be a solution for it. I even contemplated breaking up with Daniela because I didn't want her to get any more affected by my what my daughters were doing.

Suddenly, things had shifted and my daughters had a change of heart. They made a collective decision to mend their relationship with Daniela and they became really nice and respectful toward her. It was strange, let me tell you, especially when my youngest daughter, Aria started clinging unto Daniela and spending most of the time with her. Notice that this change took place a couple of months ago. I immediately got engaged to Daniela and we decided to get married at the end of next month (Oct).

Everything was going pretty well, I busy with the wedding arrangements and stuff. I got a text message from my ex wife telling me that the girls were planning to spill red wine on Daniela's wedding dress at the wedding. I was shocked. I asked how true this was and she said she heard them plan the whole thing. Moreover, my sister was in on it too and agreed to help them. I asked if she had any idea why but she did not respond. I was furious, and also very disappointed not knowing how I could even tell Daniela about it when Daniela is currently helping them pick dresses for the wedding and helping them pay as well. It felt like an awful betrayal. I didn't know what to do I decided to just ban them from coming. I confronted the four of them and they denied at first. Then, Eliza confessed but said it was intended as a "prank" and that it was Christine's idea. Christine yelled at her and denied her involvement entirely. The girls started yelling at each other then began crying when I told them they're not allowed at the wedding. Olivia said that I'd be ruining their relationship with Daniela if I don't let them attend on the most importantly day of her life. Christine promised they won't do it and suggested that I don't tell Daniela and just let them come to "preserve" the relationship and I decided to consider it.

Well, Yesterday, My ex wife sent a voice message telling me the girls lied and were still going to do it and warned me to be careful. This time I blew up and told them it was over and that they were banned from the wedding and that it was non negotiable. They tried to argue, deny, and beg but I refused to hear it. I was feeling so much angry and hurt. They went to stay with their aunt after I berated her on the phone and she denied. I haven't told Daniela but my side of family knew and they oppossed my decision saying I'd turn this wedding into a joke if my girls are absent from it. My father and mother said the girls are remorseful, and promised they won't do it but i don't trust them after what happened. My parents demanded that the girls be allowed to come and said that it will negatively affect my relationship with the girls because they said the girls won't forget I stooped them from being a part of a special event/memory.

AITAH for giving them another chance to attend after they lied?

I was married to my first wife for 10 years until I found out she was having a long term affair with a co worker. I remained civil with my ex in laws. But the divorce and bankruptcy that it caused hit me hard. I had no children from that marriage and lost touch with my EX IL.

I’m now remarried and my wife is expecting my second child. This marriage is happy and so much easier than my first.

My EX MIL reached out to me because my EX FIL is dying and he wants to speak to me before he does. I have a new life and a baby on the way. Any time I think about my ex wife and her betrayal it makes me angry so I don’t. I told my EX MIL I don’t care what he has to say because I am in my new chapter and if he had something to say he could have done it years ago and now I don’t want to hear it.

My EX MIL called me a fucking asshole saying her husband wants peace and I told her so do I and that’s what I did want to speak to him. That part of my life is done. My EX MIL started crying on the phone cussing at me. So, I hung up and blocked her number.

My mom kind of has a situationship going on. She has a 2 year old with her ex and claims they aren't together and she just lets him live there for my sister, but they sleep in the same bed (despite multiple guest rooms) and she's affectionate with him. Honestly I think she is just lying because she knows I don't like him.

I have a long history with this man, but it suffices to say that he doesn't like me. He is currently pissy because he isn't invited to our wedding but my sister was asked to be a flower girl. My mom declined and said that was disrespectful to him and my sister would be home with him which is fine we didn't push it.

The other day we had some family over and I went out to pick up food. I came back and my fiancee was sobbing. She said my sister had gotten paint, shaving cream, and glitter all over the front of her dress (she had tried it on to show my grandma) I was irate and demanded to know how my mom let it happen. It came out that my sister was doing crafts in the other room and her dad told her she should go and give my fiancee a hug and tell her she looked beautiful.

I was furious and my mom was yelling at him, but still i have never had so little respect for her. She said he would pay for it, but money is nothing to him. The dress cost what he'd spend on a fancy dinner, so paying for it doesn't really mean anything. I told my mom she needed to kick him out or she was uninvited.

My mom said I was being ridiculous and that she would pay for it if he wouldn't. I lost it and told her she needed to chose between her son and her fucktoy. My mom said I was asking her to chose between me and my sister. She eventually chose him and is currently banned from the wedding.

AITAH for breaking up with my boyfriend because I had a bad feeling about his bestfriend and him and decided to avoid DRAMA?

I am not the OOP. Posted in

Concluded as per OOP - OOP deleted her account.

2 updates - Medium.

Trigger warnings Manipulation, low self-esteem

Mood spoiler: Happy Ending for OOP. He's just really pathetic

- March 28th 2024

- April 4th 2024

AITAH for breaking up with my boyfriend because I had a bad feeling about his bestfriend and him and decided to avoid DRAMA?

I(22f) was always a really chill person, I've always gotten along with everyone and I really appreciate my mental peace. I hate unnecessary drama.

I've been dating Zack for three years, he's always had his best friend, Mia, who was studying in another country. They always talked via text or video call. That never interested me at all because I also have male friends.

Mia was always disinterested when Zack was by my side on his video calls, and I wasn't interested in her either, to be honest, but Zack wanted us to be friends so I tried. Mia listens to the same music as me, so once three years ago I texted her on WhatsApp to try to have a friendly conversation, but she saw the message and never answered me and blocked my number. I thought "what a rude bitch" but I let it go and never talked about it to Zack so I wouldn't make trouble, I just think that maybe she doesn't wants to make friends and I respect that.

Not long ago she returned to the country, now to stay and live here again. Zack asked me if she could stay in our apartment and I said no (I don't feel comfortable with people staying there), Apparently, Zack told her that I was the one who refused to let her be with us because Mia has been doing EVERYTHING to criticize me since that day.

She has criticized my work, my studies, my hair, my clothes, etc. Zack always says that's how Mia is and I should be her friend because she's really funny (ha ha). Many times she tried to make me jealous with comments like 'You know that I used to take baths with Zack when we were little kids?' and she would get upset when I just said 'Alright🧍' at those random comments because tf, Why should I be jealous of that?

She sits on Zack's lap (he doesn't say anything to her about that even if he knows I don't like it), he cuddle with her everytime they have the chance, they whisper to each other and go out together sometimes and I obviously can't help but think that in any moment I will comeback to the apartment and she will be wearing one of his shirt and I don't want to deal with that tbh. The WORST thing is that Zack really seems to like seeing me jealous, when I tell him something is bothering me, he laughs saying 'awww you're jelly' and stuff like that without taking me seriously. It's pretty annoying to know that he likes me to feel that way and Mia has been REALLY irritable lately like if she's competing with me. It feels like they're trying to make a novela with me.

She always tries to make me jealous with stupid things like when she said she knows Zack's favorite sushi and I don't, to which I replied 'then buy sushi for everyone🧍' because I don't care at all.

I've told Zack on several occasions that his friend is an idiot and he just says Mia is like that and I should just ignore her comments but honestly? I don't have the energy to deal with that girl and not be@t her up at the end of the month so I told Zack I'm going to move out and it's better to give ourselves some time.

I haven't moved yet so he's been coming to my room to tell me that I'm letting my insecurity speak for me and he doesn't feel anything for Mia, I told him I'm not insecure, I just want to protect my mental peace and avoid DRAMA, he got angry saying I should fight for him and not be so apathetic. He said that if I love him I would be fighting for him but I have always had the philosophy that if someone wants to cheat on you, they will do it even if you say no.

I don't know if I'm being too cold about this but I'm not the kind of person who enjoys drama, I was always the 'cold' type of person, I hate it and I know Zack and Mia are enjoying this love triangle. I really care about Zack and we had a great relationship but I care much more about my mental health. AITAH?

Edit: I haven't moved out yet because we pay rent together, the whole month of the rent is already paid by me because he couldn't come up with the money to pay for this month, but he's supposed to pay for the next month (Guys, I don't have any problem with this, He didn't take advantage of me or anything, something happened and he ran out of money for rent, nothing about this) + I have to wait for my parents to fix my room again so for now I have to leave my things here. At the beginning of the year the lease was updated so I spent a lot of money on that as well as rent went up by 40% so It's money wasted now 🥴 I'm pretty sad about that since my father was the one who helped me pay for my part of the expenses of that apartment (No sé si lo expliqué bien en inglés pero ya cerramos contrato del alquiler y las expensas están pagas así que perdí plata en eso y ya pagué por este mes también, él no llegó con la plata para el alquiler de este mes así que pagué yo).

×UPDATE× AITAH for breaking up with my boyfriend because I had a bad feeling about his bestfriend and him and decided to avoid DRAMA?

I discovered Mia was sleeping with Zack, she's expecting his baby and they kicked me out from the apartament but I'm pregnant too...

Nah, that didn't happened. 🫨

I spoke with Zack to ask him to have a good coexistence because I'm going to stay a few more months here because talking a little bit with him and my father we came to the conclusion that it is better for both of us to continue living together in a healthy way. We both have our bedrooms after all (he promised me that he wouldn't enter to my bedroom without an invitation and apologized for doing that before). There are many reasons why we should continue to live together at least until the lease expires, but I'm not going to bore everyone with those reasons, but most of those reasons are because of money and how expensive the bus would be to get from my home to my work and college every day if I comeback to my parents house.

We both cried and I asked Zack what he expected to happen when I saw him treat Mia that way.

He admitted that he likes the way I look when I'm upset, he said it's a self-esteem issue he has but he needs me to show him all the time that I love him and the fact I never reacted affected him a lot. Honestly, he's attractive, I know he's always been pretty conceited, but I used to think that was the way he was but now I see that it's actually a problem he has... Narcissism. 🥴

Zack said that when he sees that I don't get jealous (in the way he likes) he feels annoyed and even more insecure because he thinks I don't love him because he doe always shows me when he's jealous. He said he doesn't have feelings for Mia at all but he likes to see MY face when she talks to me that way, Zack knows Mia likes him but he said she's like that with all her male friends too and at first he tought it was funny to see my annoyed face but then it started to bother him the fact I never reacted. I DID reacted but it was talking like an adult, he probably wanted me to yell and pull her hair (the worst part? I was going to do it 100% if she kept behaving that way, that's why I decided to cut off the relationship before I reacted in that way)

Zack even mentioned other times he wanted me to be jealous about other girls but honestly I had no idea he did that because I think if someone is going to cheat on you they're going to do it even if you tell them not to, I'm not going to fight for a penis.

I told him he's a weird idiot (o en español: un pajero de mierda) and his insecurity ruined our relationship. I had that thought of "did I really slept with this person?" so now I want the earth to swallow me, he has always been very kind and we had a beautiful relationship but I just can't forget that behavior and the fact he made me feel bad about Mia.

Our conversation was pretty calm after that, Zack admitted that he ruined our relationship and I made it clear to him that we won't be a couple again, I'm a little uncomfortable but surely as the days go by we can be friends or at least be civil with each other. At the end of the day, we both look for different things in a couple. He wants a passionate woman who feels things just as intensely as he does (his words) and I want a mature and focused man to live in peace, I think I'm too cold for him and he's looking for other kind of woman.

Anyway, just know that NO, I'm not going to be in a relationship with Zack again, that boat is already gone. For now I just want to try to make this coexistence work since we both know that it is what is convenient for us and at least for my part I am not going to screw it up.

Some of OOP answers about Mia “Zack told me he made it clear to Mia that he's not going to sleep with her but he also said that 'Mia is flirtatious with everyone' And he kind of justified her behavior. So yeah, according to Zack, Mia knows everything everything

But that's what Zack said so who knows if it's true or not, for my part they can both fuck off and I don't plan on talking to Mia again 🤷🏻‍♀️”

“Mia knows, I think they both just like the attention”

I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP

I wasn’t expecting my last post to blow up like it did. Thanks to everyone who shared their thoughts, even the tough love. I thought things couldn’t get worse with my family, but boy, was I wrong.

After I refused to give my brother $3,000, my parents stepped in without telling me and took out a personal loan to “help him get back on his feet.” When I found out, I was furious. I knew this would only enable him, but what really pissed me off was how he spent the money. Turns out, only half of it went to bills. The rest? He bought a brand-new tv, a sofa, and sorts of appliances upgrades, all because “the kids deserved something good growing up at home”.

When I confronted him, he had the audacity to say I didn’t understand because I don’t have kids, and that his kids “deserve to feel normal” despite their financial struggles. He even called me bitter and jealous because I’m child-free, which is just ridiculous. What really blew my mind was that my mom backed him up, saying, “Everyone needs a little luxury sometimes,” and told me I was being “too harsh.”

At this point, I was livid. I laid it out for them: this isn’t about luxury, this is about basic responsibility. If you can’t afford to pay rent or utilities, maybe a new furniture or appliances shouldn’t be your priority! My brother stormed out of the room, but then my dad stepped in, saying, “We’re family. We take care of each other.” I replied, “Family doesn’t mean I have to bankroll his bad decisions.”

It didn’t stop there. The next day, I started getting passive-aggressive texts from my brother’s wife. She said I was a horrible aunt for refusing to help and accused me of “turning my back on family.” She even brought my job into it, saying I’m privileged because I have a stable high income, and that I “owe it to my niece and nephew” to help since they don’t get to live the same lifestyle I do. She ended the message with, “How can you sleep at night knowing my kids are suffering?” Suffering? They have more new gadgets than I do!

My 6 yo son had a medical issue and needed to have a procedure. My husband hasn't worked for 9 months after leaving his previous job and my salary is barely enough to get us by. My husband bought some expensive things when he used to get paid. he had a high paying job and saved no money but instead bought some expensive stuff for himself. He had to sell most of it to be able to buy new clothes or get a new iphone. He had an expensive wristwatch that he was keeping to wear at important occasions. We discussed coming up with money to pay for the procedure and he refused to give up the watch and told me to "find some other way to get the money" when he knows I can't. He suggesred thst our son stays on meds to "manage the pain" til *I* come up with the money, but the procedure was advised as soon as possible. I just could not bear seeing my son going through so much pain I went ahead and sold the watch and paid for the procedure. My husband found out and immediately said that he considered this stealing and said that he won't look at me the same anymore. He didn't yell or react harshly, just kept saying that I committed theft and that I overstepped and betrayed his trust. After that he stopped saying anything else to me, just that what I did was stealing. His family sided with him and his mom (whom I'm not on good terms with) suggested that he either divorce me or get a lockbox to keep his stuff safe since, I "stole" from him before. I was so devastates by how I was treated and thought that I was doing thd right thing, now he's making me feel like what I did was really stealing regardless of the reason why I did what I did in HI opinion.

Was it really stealing? AITAH?

Wife (40F) of 2 years together with me (49M) for 6 years. We are both doctors and she is traveling to another state next week for a conference. The conference is in a big fun city so she is staying over a few days extra after the conference. I knew she would see and hang out for a day with an ex while on this trip he is a physician there (this seemed totally normal to me). This is an ex from when she was in medical school (12 years ago). It ends up that the ex lives in a suburb of the big city and she is going to travel there and spend one night at his house. I found this out at a work party when someone asked her about her travel plans. I feel like this violates basic expectations of a marriage and that it indicates that she places little value on the relationship. On top of that I feel more than a little humiliated at how I found out and the faces that two colleagues made at me when she started explaining this. AITAH?

I am not OOP. OOP is

Original posted 3 mos. ago in

AITA for not letting my husband come back?

Very long post! I came back to the top to say that not all of the issues we've had are laid out because I would type my thumbs off trying to say everything.

I (23F) have been with my husband (27M) for almost 3 years. We eloped and almost immediately were expecting. We were both very excited and everything was perfect until the baby came. Our daughter is 1 now.

For the entire first year of her life, he came home from work (9 am - 3 pm) every day and immediately took a nap that ranged from 2 to 4 hours long. On his days off, he insisted that I get up with her while he slept in, and when he did finally get up, he gamed until he was ready for his daily nap. The household chores started piling up because I was caring for our daughter full time and working from home nearly 60 hours a week. I expressed feeling like I was doing everything on my own and I needed help with the household chores or for him to watch her so I could take care of the house. He was dismissive and said he actually goes to work and wants to be able to relax when he comes home. An argument breaks out, I cry, he takes her for an hour, I do what I can in that time.

The cycle continues. This argument happened at least 7 times before she was 8 months old.

Right after she reached 7 months, we got a "Vacate or Pay" notice. I had given him control of the finances because it was too much for me to balance a baby, maintaining the house, and working. I asked him about it and he said it was fine, he just had to wait for his paycheck. Ultimately, I found out that he was buying fast food for lunch EVERY DAY at work and sometimes on the way home and eating it in the car so I wouldn't know. McDonald's was single handedly draining our bank accounts. OUR bank accounts, not just his. I didn't leave the house very often unless it was for grocery shopping so I didn't notice that he had MY debit card as well. We ended up not being able to pay rent. We moved into the family room in my mom's basement.

Several key events then happened that you need for context.

I sold my car so we would have some money, but so stupidly put the money into my bank account instead of holding onto it. We now had only one car. He lost his job due to attendance issues (consistently calling out and being late) and got a new job with less hours and less pay. I got laid off because the contract I was working under in my company expired and their partners didn't want to renew it. "We" decided it would be easier for me to just stay home with the baby instead of finding a job outside the home. Really it would just require us to put my daughter in daycare so I could go work, but we didn't have the money and he was still spending money recklessly, so we weren't able to save up any money for it. My mom removed me as a second beneficiary on her will because she didn't trust that my husband would allow me have control of the money I would get to take care of my 2 minor siblings. THAT turned into a huge argument between him and I because I see why my mom chose to do that. I told him he needs to start acting like a responsible adult who has a child to provide for because I would leave him if his behavior came between me and my ability to take care of my family. He reluctantly gave me all the debit cards and said something along the lines of "Its great to know your whole family thinks I'm so terrible." We got our tax return and the money got spent on a PS5, a year long PS+ membership, gamed for the PS5, and fast food.

More context events: He started being protective of his phone. Won't let me use it for a quick search, to call my phone when I can't find it, or even just for the flashlight. He started drinking frequently and wanting to go to a nearby dive bar by himself. Claiming he wanted to be alone and insisting that he doesn't want me to go. He got a "boot on the car" while he was at said bar. He called me at 2 am asking if I had $105 dollars in my venmo so he could pay to get the boot off. I did not. I got mad and told him to figure it out himself. He came home and I confronted him about our financial situation. I asked for the receipt or service ticket from the boot and he said he didn't get either of those from the security people. He says he'll turn over all financially control to me. Spoiler, he doesn't follow through.

Flash forward to the Wednesday after her first birthday. I want to take a shower around 2 before I go to my sisters rugby game at 5. I ask him to watch our daughter so I can go shower. He makes a big deal of having to start prep for dinner and that he was about to eat lunch. I told him I can wait, I just need to be in the shower by 3:30 so I can have time to get myself and the baby ready to go by 4:30 when we need to leave. He says "okay, I think I can do that. In the future it'd be easier if you shower at night when she sleeping." I had a physical response to that comment. To this point of her entire life I had only been doing exactly that. And at this point her molars are coming in so she's not sleeping well. Just a couple days before this conversation, I had tried to shower after she went to sleep, but she didn't stay asleep. Instead of getting up and trying to soothe her, he called me and said "where are you?" I'm in the shower "well she's awake" okay, help her "I have to work in the morning" okay, I'm in the shower "well just get out and come take care of her". Back to the current conversation, we start arguing about him not being available to help me with her. I told him he always finds some excuse to avoid taking care of her and he says he doesn't know how to take care of a baby. In the end, he watches her while I shower, but while watching her, packs away his PS5 and makes a point of telling me that since he's so unavailable, he just won't do anything he wants to do.

That Friday is my cousin's 18th birthday. We have a tradition of taking the new adult to the strip club and I was SO excited to go. I asked my husband if he would watch her while I go. I explained that she would already be in bed and that I wouldn't need the car or money because I was getting a ride and someone was going to pay my cover fee. I wasn't interested in getting dances, just hanging out and making fun of my cousin as he awkwardly gets some T and A shaken in his face. He, surprisingly, agrees with no resistance. I go and vent to my aunt and female cousin about the shower argument. We stop by the bar next door while my cousin gets a private dance and I have a couple drinks.

By the time I got home I was hyped up on spiced rum and "f*ck that, I would have left already" responses. I go through his phone while he's sleeping. I found messages and messages with other women on his phone, that include flirting, exchanging nudes, and him asking if they can "host" because he has "roommates". Some of them are "escorts" that work the area around the the dive bar that he's been going to lately. And I had a flash back to the boot situation. I screenshotted all the messages and sent them to myself. I look through his bank statements and venmo transactions and see that he's been pulling all our money out in cash, so there's no way of knowing where it's going. I messaged him (yes, he was sleeping the bed next to me while I did all this) and just go off. I let out all my thoughts and feelings about our financial situation, him avoiding taking care of our daughter, the messages, and how I feel for having let him manipulate me for all this time.

When he woke up to that, his first question to me was "why did you go through my phone?" Needless to say, we separated. I didn't and haven't used the word divorce to him, but that may be the end result. He kept talking about how he has no where to go and I'm throwing him out on the street, then switching over to he loves me so much and he'll do anything to keep me in his life, and then spitefully saying he's gonna do better and succeed and "you'll see ☝🏼". I stood my ground and made him leave. I laid out my expectations saying I won't even consider taking him back until he consistently goes to therapy which I expect him to continue IF I take him back, he shows me he can be financially responsible for even one person (himself), and he makes an effort to maintain a relationship with our daughter, not me.

It's been 2 weeks and things have been awful. I've been literally taking notes on things that are happening because I know this traumatized brain of mine is not gonna remember how I have been feeling throughout the process or how I felt the day I told him to leave. It's been 2 weeks and I already have 8 pages of notes about negative interactions I've had with him in contrast with the single paragraph of something positive that he did. Last night he told me he's scared he's gonna do all this for nothing, that I won't take him back even if he tries his best. And that he just wants to come home.

I want things to work out because we were happy once. Maybe I'm holding out for nothing. He has constantly made me feel like I'm the bad guy for not letting him stay with me while he makes the changes I expect of him. Now I have these thoughts in my head. Am I the bad guy? Should I have tried to let him make changes while staying in the home?

I just need some outside perspective, whether it's reassuring or constructive. Thank you.

Update posted 13 hrs. ago in

Okay. Back in May I (F23) made a post about my now ex husband's (M27) behavior that led to us separating. I mentioned feeling like I was holding out on divorce because we were happy once. But since then, things have changed.

After making my post, i read every comment that came in, i consulted with my close close family members and friends, and within a week i had told him i wanted to go through with divorce. He was mad, accused me of seeing someone else (incorrect), and then told all our mutual friends that i was out to get him, being a wh*re and trying to take our daughter away from him, and that is was only divorcing him for looking at porn (i.e. the nudes from the escorts, see previous post). He threatened a couple times to flee to California (as he is on probation) and forget we exist. But nevertheless, i kept all the advice and support in mind, stood my ground, and started filling out the papers.

My mom and I filled out the divorce papers together. She has been divorced twice and wrote her own papers both times because 1. She could not afford a lawyer and 2. She is so incredibly smart and resourceful and just figured it out on her own (in case you couldn't tell, i love and admire my mom so much). She is familiar with the process in the state we live in and knew every document that we needed and how to fill them out or write our own should we need to modify parts of it.

I filed, handed the papers to him myself, and told him he has a week to fill out his voluntary affidavit of service and return the papers to the courthouse or i would have him served by a third party. He did not follow through and neither did I. I kept putting it off and putting it off until one day he called me out of the blue to tell me he had filed it and got the final divorce decree for us to fill out and file. I was a little shocked that he wasn't going to fight anything i put in the papers, but went along with it before he changed his mind.

Just for reference, i did in fact do everything in my power to make the divorce fair because despite the way i was treated, i was raised better than to be spiteful, especially when children are involved. We do not have any large price property to divide aside from his car which he had before we got married. And i gave myself majority custody because to my knowledge he was sleeping on his friends couch while i have her crib, dresser, toys, etc set up in my room at my mom's house. I also have a much larger support system in the area so even if i am struggling financially, i have people i can lean on in those times of need to provide food, diapers, clothes, etc for her whereas he does not have that. And thats not a jab at him, just a plain fact.

We met up the following day, went to the courthouse, filled and filed the final decree (I have already gotten the final decree signed by the judge via mail). It was weird seeing the sudden flip in behavior but I welcomed it. And then he told me he has a girlfriend and they're moving in together yadda yadda. And my immediate thought was this poor girl is gonna get used for her stability.

So they are moving in together. She is older than him, has 3 kids of her own, a stable career, and owns a house. I met her and she seems very nice and friendly. She also made some comments toward him that made me both laugh and feel like she will not tolerate his lack of effort when it comes to being a dad. Whether or not he is using her for her stability and a place to live, is not my business. My only concern is the safety and wellbeing of my child.

I did dip my toe into the dating world, but if I'm being honest with myself and everyone else, I am definitely not ready for that right now and I took my toe out and thoroughly dried it off. I have myself and my child to focus on right now.

That is the update! Thank you to everyone who commented before and helped me to find some common sense, whether your words were gentle or not. It was much needed and appreciated.