Q&As

Old post:

Hi I wasn't going to make an update post but more and more people kept asking for one so here I am. I'm sorry I stopped replying but the post got attention and I freaked out a bit. I stopped replying i didnt stop reading comments and the 100+ dms people sent me. This won't be long.

A lot of people told me to confront my mom on why she was pushing so hard, and I did. After a while she gave in and told me we should ask my dad over. 25 minutes later we're all sitting in my living room and they tell me my dad has cancer, he won't be getting through it and he won't be here for my 21st he won't be here for my college graduation he won't be here for my wedding or when I have kids.

It's different when someone won't be there but could be, as an absent parent is. Some of you suggested to go no contact for a few years and reassess later, well I can't do that. People told me to ask myself I'd I'd miss him if he was gone and I want a dad idk what to say who doesn't want a father in their life yes I seemed indifferent in my post and I really felt that way but fuck hes not gonna be here so i don't really get to take my time and go to therapy which almost every single person suggested.

If i only get to have a dad for a year then I'm taking it. I'm going on the trip with him. They made it very clear there's a chance he won't be here and if that happens he wants me to go with my mom. He'd planned for us to see the country, see where he grew up make memories together so I'd have something.

I know people will be mad with what I'm doing, im sorry. Thank you for your advice and your personal stories to try and help me decide on what I should do. Is he just doing this now to clear his conscious? Probably. Idc. He won't get to see either of his kids grow up I think that's punishment enough.

I’m seeing a lot of posts like this () showing a clip from the debate where Trump mentions immigrants in Ohio eating cats and dogs.

In the comments, people are mentioning that this is a lie, and also considering it funny because of how outrageous it is. However, I’ve seen a few comments saying it’s true, but those were downvoted. I also saw a few posts saying it is happening (but with geese/ducks instead of cats).

So what’s happening here? Are animals being eaten or not? And if not, how did we get to this story being spread in the first place?

Ex boyfriend Jason (m) and I (f) are in our early 30s, we'd been dating for 5 years and had planned on marriage, kids, financially planning our future. He left me early summer of 2023. His mom was dealing with a cancer that was caught late and he couldn't handle being in a relationship, he had to go home and be there with his family. Of course I'm upset for him, his mom and our relationship. Admittedly I said something like don't end us, I can support you, I can fly out every so often and help you like wash your clothes and get you food and hold down the fort here so all is well when you come home.

So after that I realized I had no one to comfort me outside of my parents. If I said I miss him, our friends said well his mom is dying. If someone asked if I'd been in touch I'd say no because Jason didn't want to talk to me, well his mom is dying. My heart break had to take a backseat. I get it I do but like no one I cared about cared that I was sad and alone. And I got on with my life, changed the apartment and only recently started dating again.

And on Monday Jason calls me. His mom had passed months ago, I express my condolences. We chat a bit catching up and he asks if I want to get back together. No. Jason said we could start over. Still no. Well he wants to know why? I said I don't have those feelings anymore and moved on. Now he's upset and mentioned that I offered to keep home open for him. That's when we were dating still! So I said I don't trust him not to toss me away when he has a crisis. He mentions that a mutual friend said I was still single. I said I'm not single for your benefit and then hung up since he won't get want he want from me.

He didn't want me around at any capacity when he was most vulnerable. That was his choice and I had to accept it. But what if something happens to his grandparents, dad or siblings? I just be situationally single because my partner doesn't want me there because he can't deal with me being around? Another friend called me yesterday to ask what happened and I told him. He said I should have just politely declined and that Jason is dealing with a lot. I said I did say no twice or so before it reached that point. Well, his mom just died. I said sorry for snapping? So now some friends think poorly of me and like two are just being normal. And it's messing with me that people outside of my parents think I'm being petty and lacking in compassion when I don't know what I was supposed to do.

Tl;Dr ex boyfriend left me during family crisis last year, wanted to get back together, I said no and got sassy when he pushed me now friends dislike me because of what I said to grieving ex.

Edit/Update. I blocked them all. I read every comment here whether good or bad and read the chats I was sent. The support means more to me than you'll know since I came here confused and upset and now I'm feeling reassured and understood. Strangers on the internet showed me more kindness and grace and empathy than people that I have shared my life with and that just truly sucks. I saw some people saying to reach out and get answers and I can't because I do not trust Jason at all. If he swears he just couldn't handle being in a relationship that sucks for me and doesn't bode well for the future because death and events are inevitable. If he says there were no other women I won't believe him and if he says there were then that information still changes nothing for me. I do not want this man back and I don't want the version of him from our happy times together either. I have blocked Jason and all of our friends even the good ones because I can't trust them to care about my privacy or boundaries especially since they displayed that passive attitude when others were coming after me for being upset at being dumped, if they weren't there for me then what's there to hold on to? So that's all now they can fade off and if they ever wonder where I am or what I'm up to they can stew it in but I have a feeling they'll forget I exist once they realize I'm done since I wasn't worth much to them if at all. I'm going to download those friend finder apps that were suggested and I'm going to have to tell my date that he won't be meeting my friends after all. Thank you very much to kind souls who posted.

Hi everyone I just wanted to give an update and also clear up a few things.

A few people asked why I had to use my friends account, I didn’t wanna make a Reddit account in case he had access to my email account. I wanted to remain completely anonymous making that post. My friend posted on Reddit previously and said she got a ton of emotional support and legal advice which is what she said I needed. I’m very thankful she helped me make a post.

Some messaged and said that this was clearly fetish content? I don’t know how it would be but I promise it’s not. If I wanted to post fetish content I’d just…go to the side groups designated for that lol. I’m sorry if I came off as too vulgar in the previous posts but I was just trying to detail everything as best as possible.

Anyways, onto the update. I was able to get moved out before he came home but I barely made it. I finished moving everything out late at night on the 6th. I’m staying with Leslie until I’m able to find a new place. My family as well as his are aware of what’s going on. I decided to text his mom everything, she never responded. My parents are floored, my dad helped me move majority of my things out and “accidentally” broke his PC tower lol.

I don’t wanna get too much into the legal stuff cause I don’t know what I can and can’t discuss. What I will share is my lawyer is wanting to pursue charges and the police believe I have enough evidence. The officers and detective I’m working with have been extremely helpful and are going above and beyond for me.

Before he came home on the 7th I texted one of the guys gfs and let her know what I found cause even though I didn’t find images or videos of the other guys girlfriends it’s still better to be safe than sorry. She was amazing and we are still in touch.

When he came home, everything went as expected. He was blowing up my phone. Texting, calling, emailing, everything. He showed up at the hospital, thankfully I wasn’t working that day but I heard it from one of the CNAs I work with. He’s been demanding to know what’s going on, that he’s scared, etc. Then he started texting, asking where his ipad was. An hour later he started cursing me out asking if I’ve lost my mind. Telling me I need to grow up and come talk to him. I’m assuming he’s figured out I know.

If I can figure out uploading images, I’ll post the texts.

Cops advised me to not block him cause he’ll likely say something that can further my case.

I’m safe. My family is aware and so are all my friends. I have a great support system. I’m just so scared and exhausted. I’m sorry if this is jumbled and doesn’t make sense, I’m still trying to piece together everything. If there’s more I will update.

ETA: I appreciate the concern but regarding the PC comment, I paid for it and it was originally mine. He just took over it without asking so he can’t do anything about it. And he already knows I’m with Leslie. I can’t disclose much but once everything is settled and finalized I can give a more in detail update and provide more info. Probably won’t be able to for a year or two depending. Thank you all!

Edit:

I’m noticing a huge influx of comments calling this fake. So I’m assuming my ex has found this and is sending his dick riders after me to try to make me look crazy. If that’s the case, all your girlfriends know the behaviors you all participated in and so do your employers (not my doing), have fun with that! Hope the vids and pics were worth it you worthless creeps.

A few months ago, a friend of mine told me she was getting married, it wasn't meant to be a regular wedding but more of an elopment kind of thing. We were supposed to be her, the groom, me (as a Maid of Honor) and a Best man, plus a few close family member, about 10 people in total, and it was planned for early November.

I say "wedding" like that in the title because there will be no invites, no "save the date", no ceremony, no walk down the isle, just courthouse and dinner (that comes from the bride herself, I'm not guessing anything).

A week ago I got the news that I had gotten a permanent job, I don't know how to explain it because this is a very typical thing from my country, Spain, where every so often, the government will hire professionals to work either in the administration or in public institutions (education, highschool...) This is usually a great opportunity because these positions are for life (well, until you retire) and they can never fire you. In order to apply for these positions, you have to take an exam, and then depending on your years of service to the institution and the score you get on the exam, you can get one of those jobs.

Long story short, I took my exam last year and last week I got told that I got one of the jobs, but I will be moving cities for that.

When I told my friend this, the only thing she said is "when are you leaving?? Can you still come to my wedding?" No congratulations, no "i'm happy for you", nothing.

I must add, two weeks ago I talked to her to know where were we having dinner for her wedding, and she said she didn't have anything planned yet, let alone booked.

Had she told me she had everything booked and that she really needed my RSVP, i would've understood her answer, but in that context, I've decided that if the only thing she cares about is her and her wedding, and she can't be happy for me, I'm not going to the wedding.

AITA?

My husband and I are in our early 30s, married for a few years but together for 11. Throughout this time we often argued due to my ILs behavior but specifically MIL. There are many examples I could make, but to sum it up she has been controlling not only to my husband but also me, even going as far as pressuring my husband to make me do what she wanted regarding situations that didn't concern her at all, disrespectful towards me, overall invasive and demanding. You name it. The only thing she has not done is directly insult me to my face.

I kept telling my husband I was over their behavior and to put a stop to it, but he never really acted decisively so MIL never really stopped.

Time after time I would put up a happy front and bite my tongue not to cause drama, but because everything just keeps piling up I'm always on the verge of blowing up whenever I'm around them. I told my husband I'd like to limit contact at least for a while but he insists we go visit. My husband is also aware of much I'm affected by this.

Anyway we meet up and MIL starts with her usual antics, I stay quiet until I've had enough and start talking back to her. I did not insult her but I wouldn't let anything slide like I usually do and highlighted every inappropriate or invasive comment. She is surprised and asks me what came onto me, I never acted like this, and so on. In a fit of rage (I wasn't yelling and I spoke calmly and slowly, but my emotional state was crystal clear, you couldn't mistake it for a lighthearted remark) I told her she's been disrespecting me for years and this is what she's getting now, and she made her bed so she should just lay in it.

Things got tense and we left. I'm upset but finally feel liberated for standing up for myself, husband seems torn, MIL is obviously livid. Husband has now said that he agrees and understands my emotional state on the matter but also wants to keep the peace and to just apologize.

I refused and said I would only be open to revisit the relationship if I see some change and effort to at least be cordial and mutually respectful and I absolutely will not apologize for anything I said because I mean it and would do it again. I reminded him that he had many chances to stand up to them and that I also said no one involved would enjoy it if I had to stand up for myself, and he never took me seriously. I also said I never insulted her or yelled at her, so apologizing for my reaction to her comments sounds incredibly backwards.

AITA for what I said and for not budging on this?

(Sorry in advance for spelling or grammar mistakes, english is not my first language!)

My (21f) boyfriend (23m) "Scott" and I have been together for about a year and a half now, up until recently we've never had any issues in the bedroom department.

For context, my mother has drilled in my head to never forget to use condoms with any partner I may have. She was baby trapped by my father at 19 because she was never taught sex ed so she didn't want me to end up in her position.

When my best friend set us up, I made it clear from day one that sex without condoms was a no go for me. My biggest reason was not ending up pregnant, or catching an STI. He agreed with all my reasons about not using a condom, he even said I was smart to not go without the condom.

Fast forward to last Sunday, we were getting busy when he started rubbing against me without a condom on and started to push it in. I pulled away and told him he had to put it on, he tried begging to not use it and even attempted to spread my legs apart, before I explained once more my biggest issue was that I didn't want to end up pregnant. He huffed in annoyance and told me I killed his boner and that he didn't want to touch me, he got dressed and left for a few hours. When he got home, he didn't say much and has been a little short with me when he has responded.

So AITAH?

I have a child, my wife has 3 kids.

Her children's dad has 12 kids.

From the first day that we met, I made it clear that I will not be financially responsible for her kids. I already have a kid I need to support, I can't support more kids. It's not my fault that she married a man who doesn't know what a condom is, it's not my fault that he had way more children than he can afford.

Now he is dead, and my wife is expecting me to start supporting her kids because they didn't even get much of an inheritance and she is no longer getting child support. I'm pretty sure that they will be receiving some kind of financial support now that he is dead but she won't talk about that.

I haven't changed my mind, I can't support 3 more kids, I have my own child to think about. I told her that I'm not doing this, they are not my problem, they are not my kids. Now she thinks I'm an asshole.

I (29F) am getting married in a few months, and I’ve been working hard to make it a special day for everyone involved. My brother (31M) has always been very active in local politics, which has led to some heated family debates. He’s currently running for a local office, and while I support his ambitions, his constant political talk has been a source of tension in our family.

Last week, during my bridal shower, my brother took it upon himself to make a surprise announcement. In the middle of the event, he gave an impromptu speech about his political campaign, complete with campaign slogans and a request for donations. The atmosphere immediately shifted from celebratory to uncomfortable. Guests were visibly confused and annoyed, and some even left early.

After the event, I told my brother that his stunt was inappropriate and that I couldn’t have him turning my wedding into a political platform. I explained that I wanted the day to be about love and celebration, not political agendas. I asked him to either keep politics out of the wedding or to not attend.

My brother is furious, claiming that I’m trying to “suppress his voice” and that I’m being unreasonable. Our parents are also upset, saying that I’m being unfair and should accommodate his campaign because it’s important to him.

I’m feeling conflicted because I don’t want to create a rift in the family, but I also don’t want my wedding to become a political event.

AITA for uninviting my brother from my wedding after his political announcement at my bridal shower?

A lot of Japanese manufacturers like Toyota and Honda, some of the brands with a reputation for the highest quality and longest lasting cars, have factories in the US… and they’re cheaper to buy than a lot of US comparable vehicles. Why can the US not figure out how to make a high quality car that is affordable and one that lasts as long as these other manufacturers?

Hi everyone, this is my first time doing something like this so I’ll try and keep it short and not ramble. All advice is welcomed thanks.

So I 19F have a mother 39F and a stepfather 37F, my mother and stepfather have been together for 12 years but have recently seperated in 2023 he has been in my life from the age 5. They have a daughter together, my sister 10F.

From ages 13-15 I was sexually assaulted by him on and off, though there was never full penetration, everything but that so I’m still a virgin thank God. This situation did have a lot of effects on me then and I still have many issues now. I hate physical touch from others especially men and sadly my sister also. I tend tense up and feel disgusted by a simple hug, I’m only comfortable with my mother and best friend.

He stopped assaulting me one day because I had a terrible panic attack that we witnessed for the first time. He was begging for forgiveness and to not let anyone know.

I have not lived with him from 2023 but I still see him when he comes over to see my sister and at family gatherings as he has been a part of the general family for more than 20+ years. After the sexual assault stopped he would constantly say that he was a changed man and that he has turned to God to forgive him for his sins. He is now apparently a priest.

Right now I’m going into university and everything that happened to me lately has been coming back I don’t know why.

I was extremely upset about it and broke down to tell my mum everything that he did and how I felt during that time while my sister was at my aunts house. After this conversation she completely shut down for days and refused to talk to me despite my pleadings. Around 3 weeks ago I told my mother when she came home I asked if we could talk and she just straight up told me no and that I was lying about what happened as I haven’t mentioned anything for years and that he would “never do that”.

Anyways I shouted at her and told her that I’m going to tell the police what he did and that’s when she snapped and called me all types of names and told me if I did she would tell everyone I was lying and seeking attention. (Even though I hate attention lol). When I went to ring them she grabbed my phone and threw it so it broke. (Currently writing from a laptop).

Despite all this a few days after I just told her I was going to hangout with a friend and she didn’t care. But instead I walked to the police station and reported him, though it was a very hard thing for me so I won’t go into details. But he was taken in a while after I made the report and the whole family is asking my mother why.

However this has made my mother resent me heavily and she can’t even look at me without cussing me out. She says that I shouldn’t have taken my sisters father away and caused damage to the family name.

Seeing my mother upset like this has really made me feel like an ass for reporting him. Before anyone asks I did talk to my sister calmly and tried to ask her simple things like if her dad ever made her do things she didn’t want. Or touched her in any way that she fount weird. But she has told me she hasn’t. And I know my own sister in and out so I do think she is telling the truth because we tell eachother everything and I can tell when she is lying or hiding something.

Anyways there is an investigation going on now and I’m supposed to go in, in a few days to answer some more detailed questions and give in any evidence (which I have). I have a recording of him apologising for what he did and fully admitting that it was a punishable crime, which I recorded in secret.

I feel really bad that I’ve taken my sisters father and even worse that I’ve hurt my mother this way. I feel like I just want to retract everything I said and just act like I never came out with anything. I’m sorry if this is really long I just wanted to be thorough. Thank you if you do read this.