Day: December 19, 2014

Do you sometimes have those days when you feel ugly, stupid, useless, fat, and irrelevant?

I do. Today is such a day for some reason. And even posting the list of my 2014 accomplishments didn’t help.

I lost a button from my coat and now I feel like a total failure of a human being because I can’t figure out where to buy buttons.

So I go into a store (that obviously doesn’t sell buttons) and feel even more useless, fat, ugly, stupid, and irrelevant. And then a very elegant black lady looks at me and says, “Wow, you look so pretty!”

And I felt better.

So here is my Christmas advice: say nice things to people because, who knows, maybe on this day they really need to hear something kind.

P.S. I blame Putin. No, seriously, I stared at his ugly mug for 2 hours yesterday, and today I feel like shit. That’s hardly a coincidence.

OK, let’s see, what on Earth have I been doing this year?

1. Learned to drive.
2. Got a driver’s license.
3. Got a car.
4. Bought a house.
5. Moved.
6. Applied for tenure.
7. Saw my first book in print.
8. Finally reunited with a dear friend I hadn’t seen in 7 years.
9. Started writing my second book.
10. Submitted 2 articles for publication. One was rejected, one is awaiting decision.
11. Supervised renovations on the new house.
12. Applied for a sabbatical.
13. Applied for an RA grant and won.
14. Dealt with a scare of the “There is a shadow in your liver but it probably isn’t cancer” variety.
15. Cured myself of diabetes.
16. Hosted my very first party at my very first house.
17. Did my very first barbecue.
18. Learned to light a fireplace.
19. Did my very first DIY project (and it came out great!)
20. Applied and got accepted to a conference but then it got cancelled.
21. Applied for another grant and lost.
22. Taught 8 courses, 7 of them different from each other.
23. Got into birdwatching and weight-lifting.
24. There was only one international trip (which is unusual for me) but N has problems with his papers (again!) so we can’t go anywhere.
25. Taught the best course of my entire teaching career.
26. Participated in political protests.
27. Survived the first anniversary.

Well, the question of why I’ve been feeling so exhausted seems to have been answered.

P.S. And how could I forget? Discovered that the nation-state was about to collapse!