Q&As

I’m 34m and I was driving home from work at 11pm when I saw a girl walking alone. We aren’t in a particularly safe area to be out at night like that so I offered her a ride and I drove her home which would have taken her awhile to walk. She talked about how she was at a party and her ride left without her and that she spent awhile looking for a ride but nobody she knew was sober enough or was able to drive. I dropped her off at her place and got home. My wife asked why I took so long and I explained everything and she said it was wrong and creepy to offer a girl her age a ride and that i shouldn’t have done it.

I personally don’t think it’s wrong and with how dangerous our area is I think it’s better that she had a safe way home rather than potentially getting hurt while walking or being picked up by someone with bad intentions.

Edit to add since everyone is mentioning it: I was aware of the risk but I’d rather have had her destroy my reputation than for her to have been picked up by someone with less pure intentions

First Post:

So after 3 hrs of driving around and talking to myself and seeing comments here, I decided to confront my parents directly. It had to be done.

What they meant from that they expect more from me is that I have always been self reliant from early on, and my sister can marry a rich guy (or girl) and society won't judge her but they will judge me for not being successful. They know I am capable of more than my sister, but don't say it directly to her. Yes, I did misbehave a lot, but not enough to get me in too much trouble.

I have never had to really study for anything, and this bit me in college, and just needed tutoring versus actual classes. They said that they were even impressed after I dropped out due to poor grades the first time around in college, I was able to pull myself up and end up in a better college and a good paying job without a degree. They told me I always found a way out of a bad situation in a better place.

They also explained that their financial circumstances were vastly different and the fact I worked for my mom early on in her business was a blessing as they always had someone to rely on and they never thanked me for that.

They offered me two choices, I can either take the amount they think is the difference between how much they spent on me and I could use it for one of three things:

-A downpayment on my first home in addition to whatever I already have saved up

-Investment into my first business

-Put it into a rental property once I qualify for the VA loan in addition to whatever I have currently saved

They do not want to give it to me directly for two main reasons: it is a lot of money and I am very quick to spend (ADHD moment).

They admitted to making a lot of first time parent mistakes. I got brown parents to actually apologize and I'm kinda surprised.

About the whole inheritance question: They planned to leave most of the investment properties to me and most of the jewelry and other stuff to my sister. It would have been an equal split.

They asked me if I was still ok with them getting my sister a new car and I said yes, but she has to dorm in college just like I had to.

Overall nothing major happened. No burning bridges or anything.

My husband cheated on me. He begged me to stay and to go to counseling and that’s what we have been doing for 2 months now. I think I am still in shock honestly. He said he would do anything just we would stay together. On our latest session I told him with the therapist present that I will never sleep with him again. That she could have him and that I will have sex with another man. He will not know when or where or with whom. If he doesn’t want to live like this, he can divorce me. He started crying and saying that I was unfair which is ironic because he started this.

He says it is not the same.

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Edit: I also made a group chat between me, all his friends, all his colleagues (she is a colleague) and told her “HER NAME, I just want YOU to know that I am grateful for you for showing me my husband’s true colors. He is ALL yours now. Congratulations for winning such a prize”

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Edit2: I will not be sleeping with others. I just told him so

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Edit3: Ok. Off to bed. I am getting slaughtered here and I didn’t expect that. All I want is for him to feel my pain. He cheated on me and now I have to take the decision and leave him. I wanted him to feel the same. When he believes I cheated and he has to leave. That’s all. If that makes me an AH then I am the ah. I respect your verdict ❤️ good night

My (Sally 32), and my husband (Jim 33) have been married for 3 years now. Ever since we started dating, my MIL Kathy would make digs at both me, and my relationship with Jim. The very first day I met her, she asked where I was from and then when I answered she replied with “oh we don’t like people from there”. As the years went on, she would make digs at Jim for buying me flowers, make fun of our dates, etc. For events she would try and exclude me by saying it was “family only”. Whenever Jim and I would take trips, she would call and text Jim saying things like “why have you not checked in on me” or making up emergencies. Jim would always excuse her behavior to me because in his words he “was used to her abuse”.

After about 3 years of me and Jim dating, she started to be nicer to me. We were not friends, but at least her negative comments stopped. I thought this was weird, but didn’t question it because I hated all of her drama. Now let’s skip ahead to when we got engaged. It was the most amazing proposal, and we were so excited to tell everyone. When we told Kathy, she gave me a dirty look, then went to Jim and said “why did you not tell me?” Jim and I were very low contact with Kathy after that. We would still talk to and see Kathy, but it was not as often as it used to be.

Once Jim and I started planning our wedding, Kathy started to send paragraphs of hate messages to both me and Jim. Saying things like “nobody likes sally” and “you are selfish for planning a wedding when you know I am not on board with it”. Jim finally had enough and told her that if she continued, we would be going no contact. Kathy then decided to go to her side of the family spreading lies and even faked text messages to make myself and Jim look bad. Jim and I decided to block Kathy on everything, and in the months following, Jims whole family was turned against him based on the things Kathy made up and told to them. Accompanied by her “proof” of her faked texts. Jims family decided they would not come to our wedding. After the wedding it came out that Kathy lied about everything. Jims sister realized that some things Kathy made up did not make sense and figured it out. Then it spread to the rest of his family that they were lied to by Kathy. A few of them came begging for Jim’s forgiveness but it is hard to repair that betrayal for Jim. Since the wedding, we have been no contact with Kathy.

Up until I saw her at the store. She came up to me trying to make conversation and I looked her in the eyes and told her “Let me be clear. You have been dead to me and Jim for three years. That will never change so never speak to me again”. She started to tear up and left the area we were standing in. Ever since this, Jims family has been calling and texting him saying I was too harsh and an asshole and that we should forgive Kathy because she made a mistake that was 3 years ago. AITA? ETA breaks-

I do not consent for this to be posted on any site except reddit.

I am m23

My parents have treatment my sister and I very differently when we were in our respective time in high school.

Here are the main differences:

-I went to a public school and she got to go to a private school that costs more than my college

-I was on "house arrest" because my SAT score was below a 1500, and she can go out even though she barely got over a 1000.

-I dormed for 3 years and they want to get her an apartment for college

-I worked afterschool for my parents in highschool and she gets to spend on my parent's credit card

-I had to justify every expense even with my own money and she never has to even though she is using their money

-I got a phone at 13, she got it at 8

I am resentful of her. I hate how she always gets everything I had to work hard for. And their excuse is always "its different".

Today, I found out my parents are getting her a new car for her 18th birthday. I got a used car when I was 21 as a shut up gift because I stayed home during covid and she is getting a new car at 18. I guess the resentment in me boiled up in me and I just asked them if they hated me. They asked me what is wrong and I just went over everything on how we were treated differently. And they gave me the same old excuse "its different". So, I told them to their face, "I will remember this when you need someone to take care of you when you are old. You can ask her not me". I then got in my car and drove around for hours with my phone on airplane mode.

AITAH? I kinda feel like I am since the oldest male it is my duty in my culture to take care of my parents and siblings, but at the same time I just feel like I have been given the short end of the stick. I paid for every cent of my existence in high school and she never has to. I just needed somewhere to vent too.

Edit: no I am not the affair baby. They never missed an event, parent teacher conferences, etc.

UPDATE:

As far as I can tell there has been some sort of incident at Arlington cemetery that includes Trump and his campaign. According to this cnn article I understand they took some pictures and ignored an employee trying to tell them the rules.

Why is this such a big deal? What happened and why are people upset?

For context, I am European.

I have/had a 30 year old autistic female friend who I went to Disney with one day. She is single and has no kids. I have a one year old. We drove separate cars to the park that day and from the moment we arrived, she started dictating what we would be doing and which rides we would go on first and when we would get food/drinks, etc. This was fine until about 8 hours into the day when I suggested we go on a different ride than what she wanted. She told me it wasn’t in her plan and we needed to follow the plan. I’m annoyed at this point because I’m lugging around a one year old and trying to accommodate both of their needs. I followed her plan for a couple more hours to keep the peace but then my child needed food so I insisted we deviate from the plan so I could get something to fuel myself and my kid. My friend lost it at this point. She started crying and saying how I didn’t understand her. I wasn’t sensitive at all. I told her it felt like I was at Disney with a baby and a 4 year old. At that point she sat down on the ground and refused to get up. I just left and walked away. I got some food and coffee and then I drove home. I do realize there were better ways to handle this but I am probably an impatient AH. I might be an ableist too. After all, I did desire taking the easy way out by not dealing with it. If we had taken the same car, I wouldn’t have left her. I would have called her mom and told her to pick her up.

I feel like I’m going crazy right now and I could really use some advice.

So, I (28F) have always been pretty close to my brother, Mark (32M). We’re not like best friends or anything, but we’ve always had a good relationship. When he met Sarah (30F), I was genuinely happy for him. She seemed nice enough, and we got along okay, or so I thought.

A couple weeks ago, Sarah had her bachelorette party. I wasn’t invited, which hurt a bit, but I figured maybe it was just close friends or whatever. I didn’t think too much of it at the time. But then, a friend of mine who was at the party called me up a few days ago, sounding really awkward. She told me she needed to tell me something, but she didn’t know how I’d take it.

Apparently, at the bachelorette, Sarah got pretty drunk and started talking major trash about me. She called me a “whore” and even claimed I was having an affair with my married neighbor. She said I’m always flirting with him and that I’d “spread my legs for anyone.” The other girls were laughing and agreeing with her, and no one said anything to stop it.

I was honestly shocked. First off, I’m NOT having an affair with my neighbor. He’s just a friendly guy, and we chat sometimes, but nothing more. And to hear Sarah say such disgusting things about me behind my back, especially when I thought we were on good terms... it hurt, a lot.

I confronted Mark about it, hoping he’d understand where I’m coming from, but he was so dismissive. He said Sarah was just drunk and didn’t mean it, and that I’m overreacting. He even suggested maybe my friend misheard or was exaggerating. But I trust my friend, and the way she told me, it seemed like Sarah really believed what she was saying.

I told Mark I wasn’t sure I could go to the wedding after hearing all that. He got super mad and accused me of making everything about myself, saying I should just suck it up and support him on his big day. He thinks I should just let it go for the sake of keeping the peace in the family.

But I feel so hurt and humiliated. I don’t know how I can stand there and celebrate when the bride thinks I’m this awful person and is spreading lies that could ruin my reputation. I’m seriously considering not going to the wedding at all.

So, AITA for thinking about skipping my brother’s wedding after finding out what Sarah said about me? Or am I being too sensitive and should just go to keep the family peace?

I told my mother that my school counselor wanted me to try and do the academic honors core 40. I told her I wanted to go for the academic honors core 40 because I talked to my out of school therapist about it and she said it wasn't as hard as I initially thought. I mean I already wanted to do it but I wanted to ask my out of school therapist if it was a good choice before telling my mom. And when I finally told her she was like "It's harder than you think, your therapist is a fucking idiot. I was in the top 3 smartest kids in my state, and I didn't do academic honors!!" She then said, "You're not smart enough for that." Just because she couldn't do it when she was in school. She said, "If I couldn't do it there's no way you could." I'm a freshman. I'm only half-way into my first quarter of school. And I already have the regular core 40 done. I really thought I could do it, and when she told me that something in me just snapped. She had said "You should ask someone who KNOWS what their talking about, your therapist has no fucking clue!" and I yelled back "You're not a teacher." She then sent me to my room. So, AITA?

EDIT: I think my mom might have found this post because she called me back down and tried to justify what she was telling me before. And thank you so much to everyone who has replied to this post, it helped me feel a lot better. I plan on talking to the school counselor about this academic core 40 to see what exactly it entails. Thank you for all of the support <3

TW: suicide

Around a year ago, our 2 year old daughter drowned in my mother’s pool because she was left unattended by her for exactly two minutes according to the security camera. The reason she left is because the fire alarm went off inside the house so she quickly went inside to check for a fire, but my daughter was unresponsive in the pool when she came back after she realized it’s a false alarm. She had crawled in while my mother was gone. My mother tried CPR and couldn’t save her. Also worth mentioning she lives really rurally and it took 30 minutes for EMS to show up. Since then my mother has been super depressed and attempted suicide 3 times.

I must mention that entire incident was documented on security cameras, so we are sure this is actually what happened. My mother had also raised 3 children, fostered many more, and babysat my nieces without any problem, so there was no doubt about her competence.

Me and my wife were both devastated, but we’re slowly doing better. We recently started grief therapy, and she mentioned that one of the things that would make her feel better was if I cut all contact with my mother. I refused because I don’t think she should be cut off for an unfortunate accident that she obviously feels very bad for. I must also mention that my wife has understandably not interacted with my mother in any way since the day my daughter died, and I fully support her in doing so if it makes her feel better, and I never pushed or asked her to resume contact with my mom, and I’m ok with it if she never does. However, she wants me to join her in NC with my mom and feels betrayed that I haven’t, and has been mentioning it over and over again.

Things came to a head last night when she saw me shopping for a birthday gift for my mom. She again demanded I cut her off, and I again refused and explained why, despite understanding her hurt and validating her feelings. She told me that she can’t stay with me if I “betray my wife and child” by keeping contact with someone who was “responsible for her and failed her”, and she threatened to file for divorce, saying it’s either her or my mom. I tried reasoning with her and sympathizing, but I held my boundary of not cutting my mom off, and the night ended with her packing a bag and leaving for a hotel.

I really really don’t want to get a divorce. As much as I disagree with her, I understand where she is coming from, and that the hurt is still raw. But I also don’t want to cut off my mother. From my pov as well as the pov of the law, she didn’t do anything wrong, and was also the victim of a traumatizing accident. I also fear if she will attempt suicide again if she loses a part of her support system, and the part of family that she lives the closest too.

AITAH for not cutting off my mom?

I (60m) know that title probably caught a lot of you but it really isn't what it seems

This entire situation has been agonizing for me, both physically and mentally. I don't even know where to start, I guess I'll try and be as succinct as possible so as to not bore anyone with the details

So I've been married for 2 years to my wife Jen (58F), with whom I am raising her son (16M) with. Man, words can't describe how much I love that kid. I treat him fully as my own. He's such a nice boy, and I'm proud to say he gets on with me very well

I also have two children from a previous marriage (30M and 27F) from my now ex wife (60F). Long story short, I've cut my bio son (30M) and daughter (27F) out of my will. They are to inherit nothing.

I run a rather successful business and own a few houses which are worth a lot. I had always intended to pass that on to them. The business to my son and the houses split between my son and daughter. I know it's a bit morbid, because there's nothing really wrong with me health wise, but I've always been open with that to them. To be honest, they both had a spoiled upbringing so they had a head start in life. Which is the complete opposite of how I grew up

Now if we wind the clocks back some 5 or so years ago, I was married to my now ex-wife. We had been married for 35 years! We did have our ups and downs, like any other marriage, but there was never any infidelity or anything.

Well long story short, I ended up coming home to find her in bed with another man. Of all the ways to find out your spouse is cheating on you, that was the one I did not expect. Not because of how disrespectful it was, because at that point, respect is out the window. But because of how stupid it was.. I did a lot of late work at my office during that time, but surely they weren't that stupid? At that moment I was seething in rage and had to restrain myself from beating the shit out of that guy

I ended up divorcing her and keeping my distance from her. I needed a lot of therapy and support to get through that. My relationship with my bio kids was still great and they understood what I was going through, or so I thought

It was only recently that when I went for a drink with my daughter, that she was all of a sudden quiet and not like her usual self. I asked her what was wrong and she said she was scared to tell me. I calmly re-assured her that everything would be okay. She then proceeded to spill her guts and say that she and her brother knew about their mother's affair but that their mother had begged them not to tell me that they knew. My son ended up agreeing with his mother and convinced my daughter that this would be best

So they knew their mother was having an affair but were afraid to tell me. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I asked her wasn't she and her brother angry at what their mother had done, and she said she was, but that they ''couldn't cope with this'' and that ''it wasn't their place'' to get involved. Well by not telling me, they had involved themselves

I later had to confront my son over this. He hit me with the ''it was to protect you'' shtick. At that point I felt very empty and cold inside. He began apologizing too but by that point, I think I had enough

I had come to terms with the fact that my bio kids are fully grown adults now and that this is how they've chosen to be. I'm not going to fully go no contact with my own kids, I can't bring myself to do that. But I don't want much of a relationship with them either. I had a sit down with them both and informed them that I'd cut them out of my will, and that step son would be inheriting much of what they were going to get

This lead them to have outbursts of which I myself didn't even experience when I caught their mother cheating. They accused me of being heartless and cruel, and how can I love my stepson more than them when ''he's not even really my kid''. I told them both ''he's more of my own than either of you'' and left

My stepson is very bright and I am sure he could one day take over my business. He could pick any of the houses I own to raise his family with too, and do what he wants with the rest of the properties. My ex has been sending me messages calling me heartless too. I have to admit, I have thought whether I went too far on this. AITAH?

So here’s the deal, my 23-year-old son got lucky with some money—about $200k from a windfall, and since then, he’s been coasting. He doesn’t have a job, doesn’t even try to get one, and worst of all, refuses to contribute to anything around the house. We’re talking bills, groceries, even basic stuff like helping with chores. He just sits around all day playing video games or hanging out with his friends, and any time I bring up the idea of pitching in, he just brushes me off with some excuse about how he’s "figuring things out."

I’ve given him more than enough chances to step up. I asked him to at least pay some rent or cover his own food expenses, but he straight-up refused. I’m not asking for much, just a little bit of responsibility since he’s living under my roof rent-free. I tried to have a calm conversation about how things need to change, but he got defensive, saying it’s his money and he can do what he wants with it. I don’t want to sound greedy, but it’s not fair that I’m still paying for everything while he’s sitting on a small fortune.

After months of this back-and-forth, I finally told him he needed to start contributing or find somewhere else to live. He thought I was bluffing, but when he still refused, I packed up his stuff and told him to go. Now he’s crashing at a friend’s place and telling everyone I’m being unreasonable and unsupportive. Some family members are saying I should’ve just let it go since he’s young and has money, but I feel like he’s taking advantage of me. I just wanted him to act like an adult and not mooch off me forever.

So, AITAH for kicking him out?

I share custody of a moody, emotional, cranky 11yo boy with his mom. I am very mindful and respectful that he's hitting puberty and give him space and boundaries. One minute he will give you the death stare for being in the same room and the next minute he'll want to play fight because he knows I'm going to hug and kiss him.

Right now Ethan going through a phase where he doesn't any adult relative posting any picture or video of him on their social media account. The of exceptions is if you're between the ages of 14 to 25 and doing something fun or makes him look cool.

His mom and stepdad love posting pictures of their family all the time. Ethan told them not to post pictures of him. His stepdad told him to not post family pictures without him is like letting him not shower or brush his teeth. It's sorta required.

My son complained to me and I said I'm not getting involved with how they run their home. To me, it's not a hill worth dying over. Ethan let them know how he felt.

I had Ethan all week and he goes back to his mom's on Saturday. He refuses to go back because he doesn't want to go to the family Labor Day camping trip where he'll be photographed. I asked my son if this was really worth fighting over and he believes so.

I spoke to his mom and she thought it was ridiculous. I said I agree but this is just some weird tween boy power trip thing so just promise not to take his picture. She refused. Now Ethan refuses to go on the trip.

Last night his stepdad and maternal uncle called him separately. Both times resulted in Ethan crying. They basically told him his ass was going. That pissed me off. I called them both up and said my custody issues with his mom is none of their business. I agree it's stupid and a compromise could had been met. Now that you all inserted yourself into the matter, I have no choice but to let him stay here if he wants.

His mom is mad at ME. I told her to just drop it and you can take him for a few extra days when you get back. The situation has gotten too dramatic. It's not like he doesn't want to go back because he has to clean his room. He has to know that his stepdad and uncle are not calling the shots too. She is furious at me and says I'm encouraging bad behavior by letting him stay here. Ironically I'm way more strict than she is.

Edit: This has nothing to do with taking his picture. He loves having his picture taking with the older kids or the young adults because he think it makes him look cool. Anything to do with older people makes him feel like he's 5.

I'm 38 and bad teeth run in the family - my grandma was in dentures by 22. At any rate, I had a dentist appointment yesterday where the dentist told me I needed 3 teeth extracted, and 6 root canals. He then proceeded to ask me something very strange - "Do you do anything you don't want people to know about that might affect your teeth?"

I said no because I had no idea what that might be. I'm still wondering what exactly he could have meant by that...I was too caught off guard to ask. Does anyone have an idea?

I told my wife that I broke off my relationship with the woman I was having sex with. I did this because she said she would not agree to go to counseling unless I did so.

She refused to go for counseling after I told her I broke off my relationship with my friend. She said I was her husband and that I didn't have the right to her body or to get sex elsewhere.

Since I lied as a test I think you can guess I knew she was lying.

We are getting divorced. She deserves to be happy with someone who is okay with no sex in the marriage and I deserve a life.

I have moved out and am moving forward with my life.

Thanks for all your advice.

I will be referring to the “step-daughter” as Mary. I say step daughter in quotes because her (my mom) and her fiance are not married and have no plans of marrying each other anytime soon. That’s another story.

Anyway, I’m having a baby shower for my 2nd child. My mom and I were discussing RSVP’s and she said “I will be there and so will my fiance and Mary”. I reminded her it was just girls who will be there and she said she forgot but that it will be her and Mary. I explained to her that I want her to be there for sure, but unfortunately Mary is going to have to stay with her dad. My mom asked if it was a kid free baby shower and if my 4 year old daughter will be there. I said yes she will be there. No it isn’t child free, but explained to her that Mary has been mean to my daughter in the past, every single time Mary is around my daughter she is snatching from her, pushing her, and just being mean. They are the same age but Mary is clearly not being disciplined at home and I don’t want to be worrying about whether or not my daughter is being bullied at the baby shower.

My mom said Mary is 4 years old and doesn’t know any better. I said “she should know better, my 4 year old doesn’t go around pushing and being mean to children all of the time, and if she does that behavior is corrected and stops”. My mom took offense to this, I tried to keep the conversation short and said Mary is not allowed to come. I think I’m being reasonable but my mom says that I’m being unreasonable and unwelcoming to “family”. She says she will keep an eye on Mary to make sure it doesn’t happen, but I don’t even allow my mom to have my daughter alone since she lives with Mary and her fiance, because there have been times where I have seen Mary shove my daughter into the pool, once into a ball pit, and just randomly snatching toys from her and being mean and my mom doesn’t do anything until I say something myself, then says how she doesn’t know any better. My mom says she wants to bring Mary regardless or she might just have to send a present to my home and not come.

I have friends and family siding with me saying I’m being reasonable for not wanting to have to stress about Mary interacting with my daughter at the shower, but family who is siding with my mom and saying I should just invite Mary so my mom can come to the shower. And they’ve also said I can just keep Mary and my daughter separate

AITA?

My (lyss 38), my daughter (lexi 14) my brother (Liam 24) got married last week but messaged me saying my daughter Lexi could not come due to the fact she’s under 18 and there was no children allowed I fully respect and understand that but I. Messaged back telling saying that my daughter is quiet and wouldn’t be any much of a problem my daughter is autistic and is quite well behaved but extremely sensitive she would have not been a problem would Liam have let her come after I replied with that he said that Lexi was still not allowed to come and I respected his decision but a few days later I got a message off a family friend (John 28) asking if Lexi was going to the wedding and I replied with no Liam says no under 18 and John replied back saying that is bs because his daughter (Lillian 13) is going so straight after he message me I rang Liam and we had a back and fourth argument until he finally admitted that he didn’t want Lexi there due to her autism so I hung up on him and didn’t go to his wedding and I told my sister and a few of the guests and they decided not to go. AITA?.

Edit: my daughter used to have a lot of meltdowns but as she has entered her teenage years she’s been handling them very well when she starts to get uncomfortable she leaves situations and currently she’s laying next to me crying because she was so exited for the wedding and to see her new auntie in a pretty dress it has been a week since the wedding and she’s still upset about it he got her hopes up and didn’t tell us until the very last minute that she couldn’t come I have seen a few comments saying that I haven’t said the whole story and my bad for not adding the details my daughter is a level 2 autistic 14 year old girl she used to have extreme meltdowns over the smallest things but she handles it extremely well now and Liam knows that as a week before the wedding we all went out for lunch at a restaurant and we all enjoyed it I had already bought mine and my daughters dresses my daughter and I went out to get out hair and nails done together for the wedding and my brother didn’t tell us until the day before the wedding and my daughter was extremely excited and happy and we went out and bought her some makeup and eyelashes for me to help her put on for the wedding and she was so excited bless her she did have a meltdown when I relayed the news to her from Liam but she calmed down quickly.

Also I’m going to add my daughter has been to several weddings before and handled them well and enjoyed them.

(Sorry if my writing is bad I’m not English)

-lyss