Podcasts

The 2k suit to a bull fight piece.

Mesh shorts to a Michelin star restaurant piece

The constant bitching about the food not being up to (his) standard piece

Seems like a weird hang piece

Doesn’t hang much piece?

There are other pieces these are just recent.

He’s probably just on the spectrum.

Posting on my husbands account because I want him to see this, and hear what everyone has to say.

43f and 37m. We’ve been together for fifteen years, and married for twelve. We have three kids 11, 9, and 6.

To start off, my husband has been smoking cannabis since before I met him. And it has never been a problem in our relationship until the last 2-3 years. I was hesitant to ask him to quit, as I don’t want to change who he is and because I accepted his habit when we were dating etc.

The problem is that my husband has absolutely zero tolerance for stress when he is not high. And I mean zero. He is not lazy or unmotivated. He’s a hard worker, helps with the kids and housework. But if he’s not high, he flies into angry rages at any inconvenience, things not going to plan, or unforeseen accidents. The anger is never directed at me or the kids, but the situation at hand. The latest example I can give just happened this evening (he says he ran out earlier today, and didn’t have a chance to make a trip to the dispensary; he has a medical card; which he doesn’t ACTUALLY need as he doesn’t have any health problems).

I just returned home from a business trip to Boston for five days. He was home alone with the kids and completely responsible for everything while I was gone, and he did a fine job. Anyways, after the kids were in bed, we had a drink together and decided to have a little naughty time. Things were going great. He broke out the baby oil, lit candles, undressed me, and started out with a nice sexy sensual massage. Well, about twenty minutes in when things are just starting to get hot and heavy, and the real action is about to start, our Frenchie decided she wanted to throw up on our bedroom floor. This immediately put my husband into a rage. He flew off the bed, grabbed the dog and threw her outside, slammed the backdoor, then proceeded to stomp through the house yelling about “stupid fucking dogs” and woke the kids up. He then proceeded to continue yelling about “stupid fucking dogs” to himself, as he snarled and growled and cursed under his breath while he cleaned up the mess. Needless to say, this completely ruined the mood for me, and we did not finish.

The second part of the problematic behavior occurs when I try to calm, soothe, or comfort him in his rages. If I try to rub on his shoulders or whatever he will shrug me off of him and refuse affection. If I try to ask questions or talk to him about it, he says stuff like “just leave me the fuck alone right now” Or “Don’t fucking talk to me right now.” This of course hurts my feelings and makes me feel rejected.

The only thing that helps him out of this funk is to get high. If he’s high, he’s a normal person. Talkative, happy go lucky, funny, sweet, and pleasant to be around. It’s like night and day, Jekyll and Hyde.

I keep trying to tell him that he at least needs to take a long break because 20+ years of regular cannabis consumption has completely destroyed his brains ability to make happy chemicals. I think cannabis is probably his only source of some pretty important neurotransmitters at this point, but it all falls on deaf ears. He literally will not entertain a single negative thing about cannabis.

He says he has been in love with “Mary Jane” since he was 16 and has dedicated his adult life to activism around it and it’s legalization. He also says he will never quit and will smoke until the day he dies. He thinks it’s Gods gift to humanity.

What should I do? Do I just let him continue staying stoned basically 24/7 to avoid this or do I push this issue further?

Also, I do not smoke. Maybe once or twice a year. Anniversary and his birthday as a concession to him because he enjoys when I partake with him, otherwise it’s just not my thing. Just FYI.

TW POTENTIAL AND ALLEGED SA OF CHILDREN

EDIT AT BOTTOM Hi friends, I blew up my family and I'm honestly at a loss. All fake names.

So, I (f 27) was texting my cousin's wife, Bri (f 28), who I am very close to. She was expressing discomfort over a marriage about to happen between another cousin, Theresa and a guy, Peter, who was accused of child sa by his ex wife and her kids. The charges for that were dropped and he is on probation for separate charges. I had been dizzyingly overwhelmed with an incident a few days before where my uncle Tim (her step-fil) was in a sketchy situation with my daughter, Willow (f 5). She's one of my best friends and I broke down to her and asked her what she thought I should do. How we left it after our call was that when my husband, Matt (m 28) came home from work, Bro would come to my house to watch my kids so that we could go to aunt Claire and Tim's house and talk to them.

Before that could happen, Bri texted Claire to make sure she'd be home, and Claire was immediately suspicious. She called Bri and insisted she tell her what was going on immediately. Bri relented and it did NOT go well. Claire was deeply offended we could ever feel off about the situation and even told them to get the things my cousin kept at her house and never come back.

Claire has cooled down a bit and isn't cutting everyone out. She recently texted me again saying I'm still invited to Theresa's bridal shower coming up and saying she wants to put this behind us but that she is still deeply hurt and offended. The path forward she laid out is that we will be civil towards each other but they will not show up to any event my children or any other children attend again. She told me they will not be going near any children my cousins have.

This is all such a mess and I feel like I fucked everything up but I also don't feel like my fears were unreasonable. To make things more complicated they live a couple roads over in my neighborhood.

The sketchy situation: We were at a small cottage (like a single wide with an all season porch) my grandma owns. We were about to leave as my dad and aunt were staying the night and there just isn't room for everyone. There is only one proper bedroom and it has a pocket door that at least has a manual latch. My dad came in and said rings were on order and he was about to be engaged so that took up my complete attention. Matt realized we hadn't seen Willow in a few minutes and got up to look for her. He heard her voice from the bedroom and when he tried to push open the door it stuck. He had to undo what he said was a lock but could have been just a latch, either way, it was intentional and not something Willow knew how to do. This was our first time there and she hasn't encountered pocket doors before. When Matt opened the door, Willow was on Tim's lap in the middle of the bed and Tim quickly moved her to the floor. Matt said he has never felt so sick in his core walking into a room before. He quickly packed us up and told me everything as we drove away. On the drive I asked Willow the following questions and these were her responses:
What did you and Uncle Tim do in the bedroom today?
He tickled me and we drawed pictures and singed and he tickled me more and he gave me a hug and I think he accidentally gave me a love kiss on my lips. Who shut the door?
Uncle Tim.
Did he say or do anything else that you thought was weird or didn't like?
He just was like shhhh don't talk you have to be quiet.

Please help, I don't know what to do to make things right and I still don't feel okay about that situation. AITA for trying to breaking down and telling Bri?

EDIT: I should have clarified, he will not be near my daughters. We immediately drew that line and part of the anger from them comes from us saying that now that this happened there is no possible explanation that could make us take that risk. However if the family is going to a restaurant to remember grandpa, I would have gone and sat opposite to be supportive of grandma in an environment where I can keep my kids under full and constant supervision. I'd rather suffer burning bridges and finding out I didn't need to than not and let her suffer us being right.
Willow's safety over comfort and having that family any day.

I feel I could be an asshole for my cousin and his wife being involved in the drama and backlash.

Added Theresa and Peter's names for clarity.