Q&As

My partner has been on the pill throughout our relationship and we’ve been in a bit of a battle these past few weeks over having children.

I categorically said that I don’t want them and started using condoms for double protection.

This morning, she told me that she’s pregnant and I asked how this could happen when we’d been so careful. She admitted to coming off the pill and piercing through the condoms that we have stored.

I’ve said that I don’t want this and that I’m not up for marrying into a relationship based on lies. She says she’s keeping it and has already told her friends as, according to her, she’d done the test eight weeks ago and was keeping it quiet in the hopes that I’d change my mind.

I have no idea what to do here. Help.

I am in England and am 29.

My husband “Ky” and I own a vacation home on Lake Michigan. We both own it technically, but it was his before we got married (this becomes relevant later). My sister “Lia” has been using our vacation home since Ky and I started dating. We don’t mind, She is always clean and courteous, and leaves it better than she found it. However, she started dating her bf “Al” about a year ago, and I can’t say the same for him.

Al is a total slob. He leaves dirty dishes, empty bottles, etc everywhere and expects Lia to clean up. He has split custody of two young kids from his ex, who he just lets run free, expecting Lia to do the work even though they’re HIS kids. On top of that, he’s told Lia to get him a beer while she’s busy and he’s watching TV a few times in front of Ky and me, so I can’t imagine how he treats her when we’re not around. Their house is always a mess because Lia works 60 hours a week and doesn’t have the time to take care of two small kids and Al, clean, and work long hours. Yet somehow, I think Lia really loves Al. She looks at him like he is the only man in the world. When she talks about him, her eyes light up and her voice is sweet and melodic.

That’s why when Lia asked if she and Al could use the vacation home this week, I said yes. I figured what’s the worst that could happen. Plus, Ky and I already planned on going three days after them, so we’d overlap.

When Ky and I got there, the vacation house was a pig sty. It smelled like rotting food. There was a mountain of dirty dishes in the sink, the floor was sticky and there were drawings on the walls with crayons. We got to the living room, where lo and behold Lia was scrambling to pick up toys and Al was drinking a beer in a rocking chair. I immediately snatched the beer from his hand and asked him why he wasn’t cleaning the mess he made. He asked why I assumed it was him and not Lia? I said it’s because I’m not an idiot. He just chuckled and said Lia was doing the cleaning and there didn’t need to be two people cleaning. His nonchalance really ticked me off, so I told him he and his sticky kids had an hour to pack up their things and leave before I called the cops. Al looked at Ky and Ky was like, “What are you looking at ME for? Go pack!”

At this point, Lia was really upset with me. She said they were looking forward to unwinding and I walked in and ruined it in 5 minutes, not even considering other resolutions to conflict. Plus I had no claim to the house since I didn’t buy it myself. I told her there is no conflict–Al is deadweight and that’s that. And as for the house, Ky “owns” it and he was with me. She said if Al was leaving, she was leaving too. That night, I got a call from my mom asking why I kicked Lia out. I told her I kicked AL out and Lia followed. My mom told me I need to be more accepting of new members of the family and that not everyone has the same living style as me. Now she’s mad, and Lia won’t talk to me. Was I TA in this situation?

A new co-worker started 3 months ago. Let’s call her Linda. She seems pretty nice, which is why I’m really not sure about all this.

 At my work, we have a tradition where once a new employee successfully completes their probation, we go out for a team lunch. Nothing fancy, but something nice to celebrate. Linda passed her probation, so we went out for lunch.

 As we’re eating, we all get to talking, and the topic of ‘the magic of pregnancy/childbirth’ comes up. Everyone was sharing sweet moments from their pregnancy. I enthusiastically joined in but didn’t share any of my own. I think Linda noticed because she specifically turned to me and said:

 Linda: “You had twins, didn’t you? That must have been a wonderful experience.”

 I smiled and said something along the lines of how I wished my pregnancy and birth had been as positive an experience as theirs had been. To be clear it was not said sarcastically at all.

 The truth is I hated every moment of being pregnant. I could write a long list of all the ‘magical’ symptoms I had but I’ll just give you the highlights. Horrific vivid nightmares. Hyperemesis gravidarum (severe morning sickness). Debilitating migraines. A metallic taste in my mouth.

 And then the birth…. Honestly I feel like anything that could go wrong (but not be life threatening) did go wrong. Worst of all, due to some of the complications I ended up being kept in hospital for a while, so I missed the first few days with my girls.

 It’s safe to say I hated every moment of being pregnant, and every moment of labour. It was not a magical experience by any stretch of the imagination.

 I didn’t say any of this to Linda, I just responded as I mentioned. After my reply, Linda started getting short with me. Later, I asked her privately what was going on. She snapped and told me what I said was ‘insensitive’ and ‘undermined’ their experiences and told me I was an a-hole for it.

 Since then, she’s sort of cooled off, and is less hostile (or at least less openly hostile), but last week she invited all the girls in the team to a ladies night. Everyone but me. Now, I don’t mind so much, since ladies nights are not really my thing, but the fact that she pointedly excluded me has made things awkward. I feel like I need to do something.

 I’m not really in the mood for drama. I have enough of that in my life right now. I don’t need more, so I haven’t confronted her about it yet. And as I said, she is otherwise a really nice person, normally pretty friendly and easy going. So I’m left wondering if I really was an a-hole. Was what I said insensitive? Did it undermine their experience? Before I ask her about it, I could use some perspective because I honestly just don’t know. AITA?

My partner lost their shit over how long I'd been in the shower. I am a female with longer thick hair, and I was doing what some refer to as a full body shower - washing, conditioning hair, shaving all, washing my body, my face, and then got out. My parter said they were running the sink for as long as I was in the shower and asked if I noticed how much water was wasted then. I asked how I'd be able to hear that run while I was in the shower. "Exactly." followed by other things. I added the songs I listened to while in the shower to their own playlist, totaled 26 minutes.
AITA for taking 26 minutes to "full body" shower? ETA: two of us in home, we have two full bathrooms, he showered last night, I showered this morning, and we had no plans for the day. I take this length shower once every 3-4 days, I don't shower every day (because I work from home), but if I do - I'm under 10 minutes with body washed and hair shampooed for a regular wash.

Hey so I'll try to be as detailed as possible and short but I did fail high school English so :/ im sean (27m) and my brother is devin (28m). He is marrying Erin (28f) and she is my high school bully. I say bully but really tormentor is more accurate. My brother knows this he went to school with me he saw it all.

I came out as gay my freshman year. I didn't announce it or anything but I told my friend and he told someone who told other's. When Erin found out her and her group of friends chose to fuck with me. The things included: innocently enough pointing and laughing, walking up and saying gay jokes, asking boys to ask me out then laugh at me. To less innocent like in my sophomore year they left a razor blade in my locker with a note saying try again after I tried to off myself. Just shitty things until she left my junior year so I had my senior year to myself lol.

Well now he brought her over to forth of July last month and introduced her as his fiance. Didn't even know they were dating neither did my parents. They know what she did and they were surprised at first but decided she must have changed and told me to give her a chance. I was pissed off and distant the rest of they day. Didn't talk to him and just hung out with my cousins.

The next day he called me and asked why I didn't talk to him at all yesterday and I told him hes marrying a raging cunt who wanted me to slit my wrists in the bathroom why would I talk to him and he blew up on me telling me I have no right to say that about his fiance and she isn't the same person I should judge anyone based off their actions as a kid blah blah blah. I hung up on him and am not planning on talking to him again until he apologizes. He had my parents call me to tell me they think i really should give her a chance she's a changed person and has told them sorry for what she did to me in the past. Lol? I didn't get that apology who the fuck cares if she says sorry to them I sure as fuck don't. I told them until she's begging me to give her a chance for forgiveness they can fuck off with my brother.

Well now as of an hour ago Erin messaged me a very heartfelt and sweet message which I will copy and paste here:

Hey Sean, this is Erin. I'm sorry about my actions in high school but honestly it was a decade ago I don't know why you care anymore. The things you do as kids don't accurately reflect on who you are as a person and I doubt you're the same person as you were back then. The fact that you're judging me and not even letting me be happy with your brother when we announce a very serious and joyful thing is honestly very disappointing. I figured you would have grown up and not acted like a child about this.

Well :) I fucking hate her bro holy shit so I replied:

Hey cunt glad to hear from you 🖕 you destroyed my high school years and never even gave a glimpse of remorse so you can go fuck yourself and I hope your marriage with my brother ends in cheating and fighting and you living in a box under the freeway again fuck you you fucking cunt

So now idk I'm done with my brother and just the entire situation am I in the wrong for dropping him out of my life and not moving on? Even if I am I don't think I care but I kinda want an outside opinion

My husband and I (30m&f) welcomed our second baby into the world a few weeks ago. We had originally planned to give her a name that I have adored since childhood. But then my husbands sister had a baby girl and she decided to give her daughter this name. It came from nowhere because she always preferred timeless names like Elizabeth, Emily, Emma, Katherine, and so on. The name she ended up going for/my favorite girl name is Seraphina. A lot of people knew it was my favorite and it was our girl name. When I was expecting our son we had mentioned it would be our girl name. Even before having kids friends and family knew that was the name I adored. But I was never fond of family members sharing the same first name. I know it happens. I know it's not the end of the world. Nobody owns a name. I also know that in some families it is very common for relatives to have the same first name. But I personally don't love it. So after SIL had her baby we came up with another name for our daughter.

My ILs had been surprised when SIL had her daughter and announced the name. Most people had expected her daughter to be Emily because she talked about that name a lot. Seraphina came from nowhere with her. When we announced our daughters name, the actual name, after she was born, we did get asked why we had chosen not to use Seraphina and my husband told them we had decided to go with something else during the pregnancy because we felt it was for the best. No specific reason given, at least not that he brought up around me. But his mom and his other sister and one of his brothers did make comments to SIL about it being her fault. They said it was pretty clear our change came because she used the name we intended to use. SIL ended up fighting with her mom because it was always clear I was never SILs favorite person and she accused her of doing it spitefully.

This has come back around to me because SIL has now come for me, saying I should have used the name too, I shouldn't have let her get blamed for stealing a name when nobody can steal a name. I told her I never accused her of anything like that. She told me I didn't need to because the name Seraphina was something everyone knew for years that I loved and then all of a sudden I finally have a girl and use a different name. And it happens just after she also decides to use the name for her daughter. I told her we're entitled to change our minds just like she is. I also told her I don't have to answer to her. She told me I created drama for no reason and there is no way the change idea came from her brother, that it was clearly me who got butt hurt over it. She told me to get over it and there could have been two Seraphina's. She also accidentally admitted she had been waiting for me to confront her on the name. She caught herself before finishing and just went on about how I had changed the name to stir shit and make her family turn on her. She also accused me of using the girls as pawns in this whole thing.

AITA?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for over two years now and In the time we’ve been together, I’ve worked 3 jobs and he’s worked 1.5. I say “1.5” because he got fired from his first job a day after getting hired. I got fired from my most recent job a bit ago for reporting a coworkers inappropriate behavior and said coworker and the manager are best friends but I have since been on the hunt for a new job.

He finally got a job a few months ago and I’ve been nothing but supportive throughout his journey to getting it and was so happy for him when I found out he was hired. Over the last few months, when we’re having a conversation about some things, he’ll call me “broke”, make “jokes” about me not having a job, and say things like, “I couldn’t imagine not having money”. Typically I’d just laugh it off as at first it didn’t really bother me but it’s gotten so irritating. Now I don’t ask him for money, to buy me things, spend it all on me, etc and vice versa. We just do it for each other just because. I’m not just sitting on my butt not looking for another job or not doing anything that I’d get paid for. I’ve been getting paid to babysit, clean up homes/yards, run errands, etc.

Anyways, about a day ago, we were in the car waiting for our food order to be completed and during our conversation he called me broke followed by his other comments about me not having a job. I finally lost it and told him to “stop constantly fucking degrading me or you’ll see how fast you become single.” He got quiet and I continued with, “I don’t know why you do that but I’m absolutely sick of it. Not only is it disrespectful but I’ve never sat here and constantly degraded you for not having a job for the majority of our relationship let alone called you broke every chance I got”.

I don’t understand why he does that especially considering there was one instance where we were giving my dad a ride home and my dad and I were having a conversation about me saving my money. My dad made a joke about it which I didn’t mind as it wasn’t rude or disrespectful but for some reason my boyfriend decided to butt in immediately after before I could even say anything to my dad and said, “I make more money than she does from working and I don’t even have a job”. Despite that being false, I still felt incredibly disrespected. Things got awkward for a moment until my dad changed the subject and I decided to wait until we dropped him off to talk to my boyfriend about what he said. I told him that what he said was incredibly disrespectful and that he had absolutely no right to be counting the money I had in my pocket. We had a conversation about it and he stopped until he got the job he has now and started jumping at every chance to call me broke.

So AITAH?

I’m (50m).My daughter(18f) has been seeing this guy(26m) for 5 months now. I didn’t like him from the start because of the age difference. He’s very rude and arrogant. I can’t physically do anything to him because he’s a big guy. But he has been very disrespectful in my household. He comes whenever he wants, without acknowledging me and his “activities” with my daughter can be loud sometimes and the walls in my house are thin. I told my daughter about it but he’s still coming over my house. So last week, I told my daughter that he’s not allowed at the house anymore. He was pissed but I don’t care. However, she’s now going to his place and come home late. Did I do the right thing?

After taxes and fees, I took home a lump sum of about $1.2M a little over a year ago so I've settled into it mentally. Just a quick rundown about me. I'm in my 30's, married, and a young son. AMA.

Edit: looks like I upset a lot of people by saying it's not life changing. Sorry if it came off as out of touch. It's become a habit of thinking about it that way bc my financial advisor spent months hammering it into my head.

I know they are not the only ones making chips for the world, but they got almost a monopoly of it.

Why has no other country managed to build chips at a large industrial scale like Taiwan does?

19 year-old college student who is the sole inheritor of my aunt's assets, totaling to around $7 million USD. I'm honestly still in shock, but I'm ready to answer any questions.

Edit: Please don't DM me asking for money lol. I'm sorry, but I don't think now is my time to give. I definitely will, but not online and through Reddit.

Edit 2: Some people seem curious about my current financial situation. I have about $20k of my own money in the stock market and $4k in my cash account. I also have a used Honda Accord

Edit 3: Post is going down tomorrow. Thank you all so much for the advice and conversations. They've honestly kept me sane, given that I can't share this with anyone I know in real life. I'm going to screenshot a lot of your comments so I can reference them later and I will be contacting a fiduciary immediately.

. It happened. The possibility of such a stupid thing happening to me has always haunted me.

Thankfully his PC is ok now and he jokes that he basically got a brand new PC now because he can finally play any game he wants without worrying about temps. The PC has a Ryzen 5 7600X + RX 6900 XT so I was shocked when I saw my friend a few days ago and he complained about performance and stability issues. I built PCs for many of my friends and I've never once gotten a complaint.

What's crazy is that he had it taken to a repair shop and all they said was that "the cooling isn't sufficient so it's always running at 99°C, nothing you can do except change the cooler". The cooler is Thermalright Peerless Assassin 120. They didn't even bother to take it off and see if maybe there was a simpler problem.

Needless to say I'm embarrassed but I know for a fact that I'll never make this mistake again lol.

Throwaway cause family follows my main. I (40F) and my ex, we’ll call him Joe (41M) were high school sweethearts, started dating when we were 17, married at 19, and divorced 20 years later, so going on 2 years now. We have an amazing daughter, Sara who is 8, and has adjusted really well to the separation.

Joe and I get along great, the divorce was amicable and we’re still good friends. Not like we hang out alone or anything, but we don’t argue or fuss at each other, help each other out, and just over all have each others backs because at the end of the day, our number one priority will always be Sara and doing what is best for her.

We’ve both moved on and are in serious long term relationships with other people. His girlfriend, Lily (46F) is great and really good for him. I have never had any conflict with her and enjoy spending time with her when we all get together for holidays and other important events or celebrations. Until last week. Joes parents passed away within a month of each other last summer and it was devastating for all of us. Even though Joe and I had already been divorced for about a year, they still treated me like family and I loved them dearly. Joe and Lily hadn’t started dating yet so she never met them which is a shame, they were incredible people.

Long story to get to the point but I feel like the background is important. Last week Sara got a box in the mail from her Aunt who was responsible for dividing up my late mother in law’s jewelry amongst the kids and grandkids. She had a huge collection of both costume and more expensive fine jewelry. I let Joe know about it and he explained that some of it was left to me so when he would come over and we sort through it together. Lily came with him which was fine, it was extremely difficult and we were both very emotional so I’m glad she was there to support him. Here’s where I think I may be the asshole. As we were going through the jewelry, we had pulled out a couple of cheaper pieces of costume jewelry for Sara to have now and I had picked out a couple of rings, a necklace, and three pairs of earrings to keep knowing that they will eventually go to Sara as well. Joe and I agreed that the rest of it would be put away in the lockbox that we each have a key to at my house and would stay there until Sara is older and it goes to her. One of the pieces being put away is a beautiful set of ruby and diamond earrings and necklace that are obviously very real and we believe were passed down from Joes grandmother. Lily had been admiring the set and making comments about how well it would go with the wedding dress she had been looking at (they aren’t engaged) or even with some of her date night outfits. Joe didn’t say anything to her in response and when she put them down I wrapped them back up and put them along with the rest of the jewelry in the lockbox. Since then, Lily has texted me multiple times asking about them and if she can just “borrow” them. At one point she accused me of just wanting them for myself and pointed out that Joe and I were divorced and I didn’t have any right to keep them. She has also said that when they get married, the jewelry will legally be part of their marital assets anyway so I’m just putting off the inevitable. I’m not planning on wearing them, per my agreement with Joe, I’ll wear the pieces I picked out and the rest will stay put away for Sara. I have zero intention of taking any of it out unless it’s necessary and even then, I’ll let Joe know what’s going on with it. Joes has been radio silent and I haven’t said anything because I don’t want to cause any conflict that could have an impact on Sara.

So am I the asshole for not giving in and letting Lily have some of the jewelry meant for my daughter?

TLDR: My ex-husbands girlfriend wants some of the expensive jewelry left to my daughter when his mom passed away and I wouldn’t let her have it, and put it away for my daughter instead.

If you tell anyone about the death clause you also die instantly. You can use the money however you like