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My fiancée (25 F) and I (25 M) had been dating for 6 years when I decided to propose to her last month. This was the happiest moment in my life— until a week later when her best friend (25 F) called and told me she needed to confess something.

She told me that my fiancée had told her a few years ago that she had one night stand with her ex and that my fiancée had also felt really guilty afterwards. My fiancée’s friend said it was wrong of her keeping such secret from me all along but once she learnt about my engagement, it had to come out, and she couldn’t keep it in anymore.

I was completely shocked and dejected; at first I thought she was lying but then she showed me the texts from a few years ago between herself and my fiancée discussing the hookup, and I saw in the texts that my fiancé was confessing how sorry she was about everything. The news broke me, tore my heart apart and made me sick in the stomach completely, and I felt nauseous.

For the first few days, I cried a lot and breaking up with her was what I really wanted, however I had no idea how to go about it. I acted like everything was normal to my fiancée. When I told my sister (23 F) about it, she was really angry, and she asked me to send her copies of these screenshots my fiancée had shared with me.

Last night was our anniversary, and I broke up with my fiancée but I felt guilty about how everything played out. My sister planned everything, including the gift. We had gone to a fancy restaurant for dinner, and we had invited my sister to come too. My fiancée was surprised that my sister would come but she was excited and happy.

The restaurant had prepared us a mini cake as it was our anniversary, and we had that cake after dinner. There were those firecracker lights and it seemed very romantic, and at the end, I gave my fiancée her gift which was neatly packaged in a box. My fiancée seemed very excited as she opened it, but when she opened it, it was a framed picture of the texts she had sent to her best friend a couple of years ago. My fiancée was initially confused but as she read it, she understood what it was, and she slowly got dejected. I just wanted to get out of there, but my sister said a lot of not so nice things to my fiancée pretty loudly, and I could sense that others were looking at our table too. It got really embarrassing, and my fiancée then started crying really badly, and my sister told my fiancée to take her own ride home, and my sister and I then left.

Obviously the wounds are still fresh, and my sister assured me it’s the least my ex fiancée deserved. Was I the AH?

New poster as I need advice so I finally had to make an account. I have a problem that I’m not quite sure how to handle so some insight and advice would definitely be appreciated. I (30F), am single by choice as I’m well aware of how much work goes into relationships, and I don’t want to be in a relationship just to be able to claim I am. I don’t know if that makes any sense. I work from home doing freelance design work as well as a tutor for high school and college levels students. I make quite good money doing it.

The problem is my sister (34F) who has two kids, a boy I’ll call Jason who’s twelve, and a girl I’ll call Adamanta who’s 14. Jason is very much on the spectrum, which I don’t have a problem with at all. The issue is that mentally, doctors have warned he won’t develop any further, and hasn’t since he was about 8. He’s prone to outbursts, verbal and physical, and cannot handle any change in routine or patterns.

Adamanta, unfortunately, has been pushed to the side frequently by my sister, who spends 90% of her time trying to keep Jason under control. Adamanta has the smallest of the rooms in that house and doesn’t get out much aside from school or times I find excuses to have her with me. I try to do so at least three to four times a month, and she’ll stay with me for two days. We both really enjoy as we have similar interests and hobbies and she has her own room here at my house.

Here's the problem, Jason has gotten to the point where it’s often unsafe to be around him. His teachers, even with his IEP cannot handle him and neither can my sister or her husband as he spends most of his time working. It’s now been addressed that Jason may have to be put into a center that can help him more than my sister can unless she can find other accommodations for more personal hand’s on teaching that keeps him sequestered from other students he could lash out at. CPS has gotten involved as well, and they’ve recommended that Adamanta also be removed from the home due to neglect and doubts about my sister and BIL’s ability to support her as well.

CPS has reached out to me, as my sister’s only living family, to see if I could take on both children given that I work from home and teach on the side possibly allowing me to take over Jason’s education. I can’t do that. I’ve made it clear to my sister long ago that I knew I wasn’t able to give that amount of care and mitigate Jason’s outbursts even when he was a toddler. I can’t now when he’s much bigger, and his outbursts have only gotten more violent. I can, and did, however, take Adamanta. My sister has called me screaming that I’m tearing her family apart, because if I don’t take Jason not only will he be removed from my sister’s and BIL’s care, but they won’t have Adamanta either.

I’ve talked to Adamanta, and she actually broke down crying begging me not to send her back. Evidently, there was a lot happening in that house I’m not aware of yet. The suggestion by my sister to take on Jason sent her into a full blown panic attack. She does NOT want to be around him. At all. I can’t seem to get my sister to understand that it’s not safe for Jason to be here with me, or at home with my sister but she’s not listening.

Any help would be appreciated as I’m lost on what to do. Do I try to take on Jason as well? Or do I just let him go to the living center which is only two hours from here, and keep Adamanta with me? I’m the only family available as my BIL aged out of the system and doesn’t have any family either. Am I in the wrong? Should I take Jason as well?

Just on a completely different level to anything i've ever seen. Gonna be so missed.

My fiancé’s cologne makes me nauseous and he won’t stop wearing it. He says I’m being dramatic over a little thing but I am upset because here I am pregnant with his child feeling like shit with symptoms and he can’t do a little thing for me.

( Back story. I had a bad pregnancy with my ex husband 16 years ago. I told my fiance I was scared to have more kids because I didn’t want to go through pregnancy feeling alone again. He convinced me he would be different)

I told him he’s being selfish and acting just like my ex did and he got mad. He now is trying to make me like I’m wrong for saying that but it’s the truth.

It’s making me question everything even getting married. We have been trying for over a year and now I’m actually pregnant and starting to wish I wasn’t pregnant. I don’t know what do. I can’t talk to my friends or family bc I know the will hold it against him. I just feel like if he can’t see how wearing a cologne that makes me nauseous is telling me he doesn’t really give a damn then I should walk away now. Am I being dramatic bc of hormones? AITAH for saying he’s being just like my ex husband ?

My husband John (fake name) and I have been married for over two years, and dated for about 3 years before that. Overall, we have a generally healthy relationship with good communication. When we first got married, we used to go on lots of dates - not necessarily anything big, sometimes just coffee or a drive - but we went out of our way to get out of the house together for quality time. As time has passed, I have taken on more freelance work, keeping me busier, and he’s started saying that he’s just too tired or doesn’t feel like getting ready to go out after work or on his days off. Up until now, I haven’t had an issue with that. He does work a lot and I don’t blame him at all! But here’s where things have changed…

A couple of months ago, he got really interested in digital marketing - basically selling products online. He bought an expensive course to help him learn, and has started trying to consistently post three times a day in order to build a following on a new Instagram account - so he’s really putting a lot of work into this. I’m not holding my breath that it will work out for several reasons that I won’t get into here (unless you want them), but I’ve never discouraged him from doing it. When he gets stressed, I encourage him, I tell him often that I’m proud of all his hard work (I am), etc. I only mention that to say that I’m not against him trying this out and haven’t put him down for it ever. But this is why I’ve gotten a little sad…

Last week, we went on a cute date after he got off work on Saturday, and I loved it! We laughed and talked and generally had a great time like those first dates after getting married. While we were on the date, I had an idea for a cute reel that took maybe five minutes to record, and then I put my phone away for the rest of the time. When we got home, I created and posted the reel, adding him as a collaborator with his new digital marketing Instagram account (at his request - I guess he’s gotten advice to post “real life” things, not just videos trying to sell.) No biggie! I didn’t mind. Well, since I already have a following (small, but bigger than his), that reel did better than any of the other ones on his account. Great! We both thought. BUT - Now he’s asked to go on a small date every Saturday. At first I was so happy! I’d love to get back to our regular dates, but then he said it would be so that we could get content for his page. He asked if I could be a collaborator on all or most of the posts, but if he could post them himself so he gets the “credit” for the engagement. (I guess all the view/likes/etc don’t actually bump his page analytics since I was the one who created the post?)

I’m feeling hurt because for over a year, he hasn’t shown much interest in taking me out. Now all of a sudden, because he needs content and saw how I could help his view count go up, he want to go on dates, though. I guess I’m just feeling used and like I’m not any kind of a priority. I feel like the dates won’t even count as actual dates because he’s not asking to go out to spend time with me.

I do want to reiterate that I’m not opposed to him doing this side job, and I’m not even opposed to helping him or collaborating on posts (though I’d prefer not to do it every week). I’m actually really happy - whether or not it works out as a money maker - that he’s just putting a lot of effort into something that excites him! I haven’t seen him this into anything maybe ever.

I’m asking for advice because I don’t know if I should bring this up to him or not, and if I do, what should I say? The last thing I want to do is make him feel bad or discourage him in his new endeavor. Should I just be grateful to be going on dates again? Am I being selfish?

Thanks for any and all advice and sorry if this is very long. If this could be posted to sub, I’m open to suggestions. I couldn’t post to relationship advice because it has a yes or no question lol.

Hey guys

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