Stories & Confessions

My brother is marrying someone who made my life hell for through our entire teens. Started age 12 and continued into college (unfortunately we were in the same one). She was like 20 before she stopped bullying me. And she went out of her way to do it in college too. Going as far as almost stalking me over it. She almost got thrown out of college which might have been what stopped her in the end.

I was able to avoid her for the rest of college and didn't see her again for a few more years.

My brother is a year older and knew all about the stuff she put me through, as did our parents. So when he brought this girl home as his girlfriend a couple of years ago I was so hurt. My sister asked him what he was thinking and how could he do that to me. He said she grew up and that's allowed and we should be willing to give her a shot.

I walked out. My parents and brother were upset at my refusal to give her a chance and asked why I wanted to hurt our family. They said my sister walked out after calling this girl all sorts of names and making it clear she saw her as trash and someone who couldn't be a good person. She also called our brother out for having no family loyalty and said his dick is clearly all he really cares about.

My relationship with my brother and parents hardly exists now. I have seen them four times since that day. They have reached out via phone but I made it clear I had no desire to mend things with that girl and I saw it as a betrayal toward me to accept her and expect me to treat her as family. My sister has stood by me. She is also mostly estranged from our parents and brother.

The last time I saw them was in June. At a family birthday party. During a quiet moment my brother told me he was getting married and our parents were standing by to jump in. I told him to save himself the money inviting me because I won't be attending and I walked away.

So where this issue comes in. The most popular local florist is my best friends mom. And she's known to have a special package for friends and family for weddings, etc. One piece in particular she only does for people she's close to. My brother and his fiancée want her to be the florist for their wedding and they want the bonuses of the special package. But they don't have a good relationship with her. However I do. So my brother called me up. I ignored his call. So he sent a text asking me to do a favor and ask about the special package for them. I said no and told him to leave me alone. He reached out again and asked. My parents then got involved. I told them I wanted nothing to do with this wedding and would never help make the day special for them.

I was told I had taken all of this too far and a small favor should not be such a big deal. That I am destroying these relationships and will one day regret it over something so small.

AITA?

So, I (32M) recently stumbled upon my wife’s (30F) secret TikTok account that has been blowing up. She’s been posting videos of our kids (8M and 5F) doing silly things—like tripping over their toys, singing off-key to their favorite songs, and even that time my son accidentally peed on the carpet because he couldn’t find the bathroom in time.

At first, I thought it was harmless, a little cringe, but then I noticed she was selling these videos to her followers as “exclusive content.” I was shocked, to say the least. She’s been raking in some serious cash—enough to consider a family vacation, which is fantastic, but this feels incredibly wrong. Our kids are too young to consent to their embarrassing moments being shared with strangers, let alone for profit!

When I confronted her about it, she called me a “buzzkill” and said I was being overdramatic. I suggested we take down the account and maybe even have a talk with our kids about privacy, but she flipped out and accused me of trying to ruin her fun. Now she’s saying I’m just jealous of her success and that I don’t support her creativity.

I ended up telling her friends about it, and now she’s furious with me. Some are on my side, saying it's not okay to exploit our kids for likes and views, but others think I should just let her have her fun.

So Reddit, AITA for wanting to protect my kids and exposing my wife’s “funny” side hustle? Or am I being an unsupportive partner and parent?

I am not The OOP, OOP is

AITA flipping out on my fiance for cancelling all the vegan food options from our wedding food menu behind my back?

Originally posted to and OOP's page

posted by

TRIGGER WARNING: Controlling behavior, accusations of fat phobia. Disregard of dietary needs

  Aug 5, 2022

My fiance (31 male) and I (25 female) are getting married soon. There wasn't much that disagreed on during the wedding planning except for food. Me and my family are vegans, and there so many reasons why we chose this lifestyle and one of them being that we have a history of health issues. My fiance and his family are the complete opposite. they're hardcore meat eaters which is fine by me obviously.

However, When deciding on the wedding food menu, I wanted to add 4-5 vegan options. My fiance and his mom objected saying it was a waste of money over food that 'isn't real food'. They also argued that this would be offensive for 'their' guests and suggested my vegan options just be "the good ol' salads & appetizers" (his mom wanted cupcakes lol). I said no because for one it's me and my family who's paying. and two I want to make my guests feel welcome and not be treated as second class citizens by being served "salad". my fiance made a face and said "isn't that what vegans eat?". I refused to argue about it and said it was final.

The other day, I found out that he had cancelled all the vegan options and took them off the menu completely and behind my back. I was seething. I called him at work but he kept hanging up on me. I went straight to his workplace and confronted him there and just flipped out on him. He was stunned to see me. He at first said it was his mom's idea then told me to go home because I was making a scene at the office. the fight continued at home and he defended himself by saying that I sort of made him resort to doing this after I kept brushing off his thoughs and input, and refusing to accommadate his family. but there were PLENTY of meat options why why can't I get 4-5 vegan options? when I'm paying for it?. He yelled that it was his wedding too not my family's. My family said it was fine and they'll figure it out and told me to let it go but I refused.

AITA for putting my foot down on this?

VERDICT: NOT THE ASSHOLE

UPDATE: So his mom messaged me earlier to try to get me to listen to what she had to say after I kept ignoring her phonecalls. She spent long walls of text just to "address" what I did at her son's workplace, calling it all kinds of stuff from immature to unhinged. She then went to explain how she's noticed that me and my family kept "acting dismissive" of her son's input and "contributations" to the wedding. She said that she noticed my behavior towards him and her entire family and wanted to speak up earlier but didn't and tried to keep the peace. She then went on to address the food menu issue and denied her involvement in the cancellation of the vegan option but that didn't mean she doesn't support her son's decision. moreover, she thought it was soooo responsible of him to make that move because of my continual refusal to see how this stuff is waste of money. she also pointed out how I kept saying "I paid for it" and said that technically this isn't just my money, it's mine and his because we're getting married she suggested I wisen up and get rid of "my money, I paid for it" mentality. She finally mentioned how "bad" this whole situation is making me look, and said that she and her son had already offered a number of compromises that I chose to brush off and decided to make it my "weird" hill to die on. She said that not only her son is upset but she and "the family" are as well after hearing about it and suggested I just agrre on their compromise and be done with it. This pissed me off beyond belief I responded by letting her know that I'm still standing my ground on this even if I'll have to call the whole wedding off because of it because honestly? this is just ridiculous, it is!!! my mom and dad....they don't even know what to say anymore. Apparently, my fiance saw my response to her (he's with her) and is now trying to call me but right now I'm waiting on him to get home and see if he's still insisting on the stance he took.

I'll update if there's anything worth adding after we talk.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

AnselaJonla

NTA

Are you sure you want to marry this man and his family? They have no respect at all for you and yours.

OOP

Frankly, I have no idea why his mom feels so strongly about getting involved. I only included in wedding planning only because I respect her but I guess it's like they say "give an inch...and they'll take a mile"

~

JetItTogether

INFO: how many options are there in total?

So like 4-5 non vegan and 4-5 vegan meaning 8-10 options for meals? Is this a buffet or restaurant reception?

Or is this a multi-course menu and so there is essentially 1 vegan meal with 4-5 courses?

NTA- because he did this behind your back without talking to you... But I'm wondering why he cares what other people eat?

Also he's the AH for claiming he doesn't know what vegans eat. You're vegan... He knows you eat more than salad

OOP

aside from the vegan we have 6 options with meat. his mom picked 1. I'm paying for the whole thing.

Hamdown1

If you marry him, this is the rest of your life. He’ll do whatever his mom says when it comes to your kids and managing your life.

  Aug 11, 2022 (1 week later)

(didn't realize how long the title was lol).

So, the talk didn't go well. I waited for him to come home so we could have a final conversation about it "but" he still insisted on his stance.

for more details, his family are a bit on the heavy side. Nothing wrong with that, they're perfectly within their right to decide how to live but they get "easily offended" at the mention of the words "weight" & "food".

I tried so hard to focus on the issue at hand, but I noticed there was a pattern of this behavior. he said it wasn't true, and that this was just an attempt for me to throw past conflicts at him in order to win the current one. he claimed he tried to reason with me about why and how his guests might see those vegan options as "offensive", also said that his family love food and consider it a "big deal", and how he didn't want his family to feel like there's certain options that they "couldn't touch" and feel that there's "difference in how I treat them vs how I treat my family"..... he then went on to explain how it's just an event and how my family should just accept what's on the menu and if they felt "inconvinience" so what? it's just a one time thing, they're not gonna die if they "had salad and appetizers". What he said wasn't good enough reason for me cause his folks are gonna think & say what they want, but at the end of the day it's my wedding!!!. and to be honest, realizing that my partner himself thinks it's okay to steamroll my opinions and decisions simply because..he's prioritizing others and their opinions over me was really upsetting and not something that could be looked past.

normally, I'm a person of rational discussions and compromises...I'm ALL about compromises, I'd compromised on much bigger matters than just food but like people said....it's not about the food anymore (if it ever was!!)like...he'd literally lose nothing if he let me have what I wanted but apparently, he was willing to lose it all over this which's fine by me.

I gave him back the ring and called everything off. I just couldn't envision myself living like this any longer..having to walk on eggshells for his family and letting him basically override my opinions and have the final say nomatter what. marriage is about compromise and here he has nothing to lose yet chose to do this to me and my family. mind you this is my first serious relationship and I didn't know what to expect, but it's safe to say that he and his mom and FAMILY did make it feel like I was taking crazy pills on many many ocassions so that's that. Last thing he said was that I chose my family over him and ended everything between for the sake of "keeping 'em happy". Decision's been made and it's done.

Just wanted to give an update to those who wanted it. thank you so much for your endless stream of advice and support.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

[deleted]

Good for you! Marriage IS about compromise, and it doesn’t sound like your ex is interested in compromising, or even letting you have a say in things. That isn’t a partnership.

OOP

Thank you! and you're right. honestly? I felt kind of hasitant about posting an update. In fact I was hasitant about posting my situation as a whole...normally I'm not the time to share my private business online but I was desperate. like Isaid there were times where his family made me feel like I was taking crazy bills. Honestly...and I'm gonna say this anyway I HATE THEM. they always made me feel like an outsider and a stranger. Never really warmed up to me and instead "pretended' to like me but it was obvious they resented me. They claim that I'm a covert "fatphobic" but in reality, I got mocked (along with my family) for being underweight due to health issues I'd mentioned before. Don't even get me started on ex future MIL...though I feel as though I gotta let it all out and vent.

~

mspk7305

You go girl.

Dude 100% laid out a roadmap where only his opinion matters and yours is irrelevant. This probably wasn't the first time but it for sure would not be the last.

OOP

Exactly! Like I said I'd noticed a pattern of this behavior but kept rationalizing it which was a huge mistake on my part. It's been utter torture trying to please him and his family. I'm an emotional mess right now but there's this little voice of reassurance telling me I've gone through the worst and survived it. I'm so thankful this happened. It helped me see things clearer

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

I (27F) have been with my husband (31M) for 5 years, married for 3. We have two young children together (2M and 4moF). Before we got married, we signed a prenup, which we both agreed on to protect our assets and ensure our relationship was built on love and not finances (as he makes way more money than I do (think 90k/year vs 500k/year) but I have more pre-marital assets.)

I’m donor-conceived, and I found out a few years ago that I’m a carrier of a genetic disorder due to fertility fraud. The clinic that helped conceive me used a different donor than what my parents had selected, and that donor passed the building blocks of an X-linked genetic disorder. Because of this, when my husband and I decided to start a family, we chose to use IVF to ensure our children wouldn’t inherit the disorder, which can be deadly. We also opted to have paternity tests done, not because of any doubts about fidelity, but to make sure there was no mix-up with the embryos, given my own history and our mistrust in the fertility industry.

My BIL (husband’s brother) (35M) has very traditional views and is a bit of a conspiracy theorist. Recently, he’s been using our decision to do paternity tests as an example of why all men should demand them, claiming that if women have nothing to hide, they shouldn’t object. He often says, “Even "EmbryoThrowRA" was ok with it, so why shouldn’t other women be?” He constantly says stuff like this in front of his fiancee.

This really bothers me for several reasons. First, our decision had nothing to do with trust or fidelity; it was about avoiding the kind of fertility fraud that happened to me. Second, I feel like he’s twisting our experience to fit his narrative, which is misleading and unfair. Third, it's in front of his fiancee and must make her feel awful and that he expects her to cheat. Lastly, I don’t appreciate being used as a pawn in his arguments, especially when it comes to something as personal as our family planning decisions.

I’ve asked him multiple times to stop bringing us up in his conversations, but he just brushes me off and says I’m being too sensitive. My husband supports me, but he thinks I should just ignore his brother, as confronting him might only make things worse.

A few days ago, my BIL brought it up again at a family dinner and made sure to tell his fiancee that she should expect a paternity test to be completed before he even interacts with their future children, and I snapped. I told him in front of everyone that he needs to stop using me as an example in his arguments, and that our situation is completely different from what he’s talking about. I also said that his insistence on pushing this narrative is disrespectful and hurtful not only to us, but to his fiancee.

He got really upset and accused me of embarrassing him in front of the family. Now, some of my in-laws think I was too harsh and that I should have just ignored him like my husband suggested and avoid rocking the boat. AITA?

Hi guys, I'm back with a small update.

First things first:

1. I ended up taking baby girl to the hospital last night, after my soon to be ex husband left to go drink or do whatever, I waited until he was gone, and packed a small bag with all of our important information and went to the emergency room since my daughter's pediatrician is closed until Monday. She was looked over and they kept her overnight for observation after I told them everything. She had a rash, they tested for a UTI, and I expressed my concerns over her having shaken baby syndrome which wasn't something that even crossed my mind until a lot of people mentioned it in my first comments. The emergency room doctor said she was alert and bright (and very unhappy with the IV, she cried so hard when they stuck her with the needle) so they wanted to observe her first before putting her through a CT scan. She was dehydrated so she had to have an IV put in. I think I got maybe 4 hours of sleep throughout the whole ordeal. She is such a happy, smiley, drooly little baby and my fucking heart breaks for what she had to deal with at the hands of her father.

I will have to have a cps case opened against me and her father for his neglect. I'm going to cooperate with them so it helps me gain as much physical and legal custody over her. I don't feel confident that when we divorce and he is granted some type of custody, this won't happen again.

Since I called out of both of my weekend shifts and Monday shift to go to social services (best believe I am applying for everything, SNAP WIC TANF medical insurance etc) I don't think I will have a job at cracker barrel much longer but I literally took that job just to have a job. A couple people messaged me with remote jobs that I might be able to get with my degree. Once we're settled in the shelter, I'm also hoping they will be able to help me find a decent job, hire an attorney that won't cost 5 grand for me to divorce my husband and help me set up child support payments. He can fuck all the way off into the sunset for all I care but I didn't knock myself up by myself.

So many of you were kind, offering me places to crash and support. I am so thankful and cried a lot. A lot of you have been in my situation and gave me words of hope when I was feeling really, really down and dumb over my choices. I have a hotel room for the next two nights thanks to awesome people in this sub. We are going to the shelter on Monday where we can start rebuilding pieces of our lives and honestly, I wouldn't shed a tear if my soon to be ex decides to just give up his parental rights. I've practically been a single parent for the past 9 weeks, whats another 18 years of doing it by myself. I literally left with the clothes on my back and a bag for us both to share so the thought of just starting from scratch is terrifying but I know it's what I have to do

I know a lot of people were worried about us and our safety but we are safe. We are okay (for the most part, I still go back and forth from sadness to rage to feeling down and being angry at my 17 year old self for thinking an older man would take care of me and it turned out to be a bunch of lies) I have blocked my MIL and soon to be ex and I'm genuinely thinking of changing my phone number to cut off all communication with them both unless I'm like ordered to by a court or something. I just want to wash my hands clean of him and pretend he doesn't exist. I can never trust him (or his mom really) again with my daughter. As someone who didn't grow up with a father and it made my mom hate me because I looked like him (I have a very clear memory of her throwing a pot of water at me because I "made a face" that looked like my dad's) part of me hurts for my daughter because I sure picked a shitty sperm donor for her but she deserves so so much better than him.

I will post again on Monday for everyone once we are safe in the shelter

So, I'm first going to let you all know a bit about me.

I don’t really drink, I don't do drugs, and I’ve been homeless for a while. I managed to find myself a job way up north at a marina, far from my city.

This literally just happened:

I was sitting at the counter—my job involves renting boats and cottages, and we have a storefront that sells beer, fishing supplies, boat rentals, and food.

A person came up to the counter with a 24-pack of beer and tried to buy it. The guy looked young, under 19 (I'm Canadian, so you need to be 19 to purchase alcohol).

He didn’t have ID, so I told him I couldn’t sell him booze. He clapped back at me, saying it’s okay because he’s 20. I told him, “I can't sell you anything without ID. No ID, no sale.”

He really talked down to me, saying he’s old enough and told me not to make him get it. He pointed to his car and said he’s busy.

So, I said, “So you’re driving without a license?”

The guy got flustered and left.

About 30 minutes later, this older woman walks in, and I see the kid from before outside.

She grabbed a 24-pack and came to the counter. She pointed outside and asked if I was the person who wouldn’t sell her “baby” beer. I said, “Yeah, no ID, no sale.”

She huffed at me, said, “Whatever,” and tried to make her purchase. I asked, “Does your kid have his ID on him now?”

She said no, that she’s buying the beer. I said, “Unfortunately, I can't sell it to you without him having ID.”

She screamed at me, saying she’s in her 40s and has her license.

I explained that I couldn’t sell her alcohol knowing she’s giving it to a potentially minor or someone without ID.

She screamed, called me a moron, flipped me off, and said she was going to call corporate to complain about me. I told her, “It’s a small business, but I’ll give you the owner’s number.”

She left, and I called the owner to explain everything. She laughed and said I handled it perfectly.

So yeah, lol

I 42F got married 24 years ago. I decided that if I had a daughter, I would pass the dress and accessories on to her. I chose a simple, elegant dress, rather than what was fashionable at the time, because I wanted something timeless that people could wear for generations to come. I had my son “Mark” now 22M a year after, and his father passed away when he was young. I raised Mark as a single mom for several years. I decided that when Mark married, I would give my dress and accessories to his wife.

When I was 33, I met “Rob” now 52M. I fell in love with him and we quickly married. He became a great father figure for Mark, and I was so excited to have a stepdaughter, “Molly” now 24F. My relationship with Molly had a rocky beginning. I’ve been patient and gentle with her. I’ve offered to take her shopping or get her nails done. I asked Rob about her favorite foods and made sure to cook those. She made it clear that she didn’t see me as her real mom.

Years passed, and I never changed the way I treated Molly. My door was always open for her, but she never changed the way she thought about me. She called me a trophy wife to my face. If I ever threw a charity event, she would remark “Wow, you’re so generous with dad’s money.” While she didn’t say anything explicitly, I could tell she looked down on me for not having a college degree.

A couple years ago, I made a final offering to Molly. I brought her into my closet and showed her the dress and accessories and told her I would love for her to wear them at her wedding. Some alterations would have to be done (I am 5’9 and a size 4, while Molly is 5’4 and a size 8), but we could make it work. Molly scoffed and said I had archaic values and that the dress was trashy, and walked out. That really hurt because she knew what that dress meant to me and she didn’t care. After that, I stopped making as much of an effort to build a relationship with her.

Two months ago, Mark proposed to his college sweetheart “Lucy,” with whom I have a great relationship. When Lucy mentioned dress shopping, I showed her my dress. Lucy tried it on and it fit like a glove. She fell in love with it, and I told her the dress, shoes, and accessories were hers. She was so happy she literally cried.

However, a couple days ago, Molly reached out to me out of the blue to ask if the dress was still available. I told her I had given it to Lucy. She asked if I could get it back from Lucy, since I offered it to her first, and I told her 1) she said she didn’t want it, 2) it fits Lucy perfectly, and 3) Lucy is the only one getting married within the foreseeable future.

Now Molly is saying I’m favoring Lucy over her because she’s conforming to traditional standards of femininity (getting married and being thin). That’s absolute baloney, but it got me thinking that if the roles were reversed and Lucy was the one asking for the dress after initially turning it down, would I give it to her? Is Molly right that I’m favoring Lucy? AITA?

I (18f) just graduated high school.

My B F (20m) went to senior prom with me and is cool with me keeping that gown.

His family is poor and has a lot of financial struggles, but I try to be as supportive as I can.

I have another designer gown from junior prom (his sister 16f who will be a junior this year remembers it because she was there when we took prom photos) and always said how much she loved that dress.

Anyway even though I obviously didn't plan to wear it again I wanted to keep it as a keepsake. He wants me to give his little sister the prom dress (for free), I told him they have gowns on sale start of school year and he says he wants her to "experience a designer gown." And it can't just be loaned she's significantly shorter than me and would require major alterations (even if we were similar size he does expect it to be a gift and not a loan), that's why he wants me to give it for free because just doing the alterations would stretch them thin financially but he wants it to be special for her. Plus alot of accidents can happen at prom and it can get ruined.

I'm touched how much he looks out for her, but I really wanted to keep this. He says I'm being selfish and should give it to her because I "won't wear it anyway it'll just sit in my closet" and was insanely pushy about it now he won't speak to me.

Due to being really smart she goes to private school on a full ride scholarship, and obviously the school is full of rich kids and her brother wants her to fit in.

I'm (30m) the oldest of five and my siblings are 28f, 27m, 25m and 23f. Our parents were always generous with giving money when asked for it, except when it was me. I was told I should learn to work hard. I was told I didn't need the new video game or toy. I was told earning money was the only way I'd ever have money and I hadn't earned money from them. But my siblings could get whatever they wanted. When I first graduated college I ended up struggling financially because where I went to work, the cost of apartments were so high. I asked my parents if they could help me out and they said no. I ended up in a shelter for a few weeks and then rented a dump of an apartment with a friend who found himself in the same situation.

They not only helped my siblings through college, which they didn't do for me, but they gave each of them lump sums after they graduated to help them get started in life. They also helped them out when asked over the years. During Covid years especially.

They didn't offer any money to help toward mine and my wife's wedding. We didn't ask. But it stood out more when my sister (28f) got engaged and our parents had mentioned money for "all the weddings". Again, it was all except for mine.

Only now this has all caught up with them and they are in a very tight spot with money. They're asking me for money too. They told me they need our (mine and my wife's) help and we should do it because of how great they have been and they never say no to any of us. I told them they never helped me with shit. That they preferred to see me homeless rather than help me out. They argued back that it never happened and I could have asked if things were that bad. I showed them screenshots of texts where I had brought the topic up after asking them verbally. My parents dismissed it and then told me they're still my parents and I'm the most settled and I could afford to help them.

I admitted that I could. But I didn't feel they had earned it.

My parents called me spiteful and said I should help my parents rather than see them lose everything. I told them to ask the kids who they helped. My siblings were also pissed I said no. They told me mom and dad don't deserve my pettiness.

AITA?

I 33m am I single father to my 10 month old baby. Their mom passed away after birth do to some complications. We were never a couple just best friends and platonic solemated. We lived together and everything but we not sexualy attracted to each other, I'm gay and agree was Ace. Couple of months back my regular group of friends added this new girl to the groups. Anna 27, I didn't much care for her but she tried coming on way too strong and flirting with me. I tried rejecting her nicely and even told her I'm gay. Last week I invited my friend over for dinner, I love to cook and bake, and she showed up. After seeing my kid she somehow became even worst. She wanted to hold them and tried to offer to baby sit for me. I took my kid away and sent him to my dad's place(lives next door to me) she would not drop it. After everyone had gone home she tried adding me on all social media and tried messaging me non stop. My last straw was wren she said and I quote "all kids need a mom and I'd be the perfect one for both of you, he already loves me" I snapped and told her she was insane and my kid only meet her once and does not even remember her face, that she will never be anything to us and that if my kid ever got another parent it would be a second dad. I then told her to check her delusional self and never talk to me again. I blocked her after that everywhere. Most of my friends are on my side but a few think I was too harsh to her.

Edit to add Because it seems to have cause some confusion I'll explain here. Me and my friend were never sexual. We have/had known each other for 20 years and the only people that still think we were a couple are her grandparents who are just old and don't remember stuff half the time but love their great grandkid like crazy. We both have always wanted to be parents and decided to go for it with the help of doctors via Artificial insemination...

My ex wife (out of state) sent my daughter to live with me at 15. I have received zero support financially from her although I was legally required to pay child support for years. Now that my daughter is in college her mom still refuses to help pay for her expenses stating " well you make enough money, and I can't afford it"

fast fwd 2 years into my daughters college career I learn that my ex wife and my daughter set up a secret bank account with thousands of dollars in it for my daughter to be able to move out of state once she is done with college.

What hurts more is that MY mom was in the know as her and my daughter have a tight knit relationship.

My current wife and I have worked overtime non stop to be able to afford her college fees as well as her rent, and any other needs that she has had.

More than anything I am hurt that my daughter and my mom lied to me about this for the last 2 years.

My daughter (who makes $20/hr) would always say well I'm broke dad, I need this and my mom won't get it or my mom can't pay for it.

Has she been using me and my current wife this whole time just for money?

AITAH for not wanting to support her anymore?!

I'm at a loss and not sure on how to go forward.

EDIT: there is more to the story but I tried to explain as best as possible. Daughter is now 20. This is not a CD OR Custodial account. We learned that she had MORE than 5k saved as we paid for her to hire a lawyer on a different matter when she told us she was broke. Daughter admitted to "hiding" money. Ex wife and I have been split since she was a toddler. My daughter has always pinned me and my ex against each other to get her way. I have been present in her life always and have tried to maintain a good relationship. I told my daughter we would support her and just asked that she contribute what she could towards her groceries, internet and her gas, if she couldn’t cover something because she wasn’t working g enough we’d cover. I have had a good relationship with my mom until now. Even though my current wife and I are financially stable we asked that my daughter contribute anything that she can to help to help her become self sufficient and not just rely on others for financial needs.

AITA? My son is twelve and so is my nephew. When my nephew was two he was diagnosed with autism. Having worked with autistic children in the past I encouraged my sister to get him in speech therapy and ABA therapy but she is very crunchy and said she doesnt believe in those things and he will progress normally. Ive let a lot of things slide when it comes to my nephew and son. As toddlers and young children they'd play together a lot and my nephew would hit and get violent with my son. My sister would just excuse by telling my son that her son was autistic and he cant help it.

She finally put him in therapies after he sent his sister to the hospital when he was eight. Hes been getting better since then and is verbal but also still has violent outburts and frequent episodes. I always felt bad for my sister being a single mom with a child on the spectrum so I always encouraged and almost forced my son to include his cousin in everything. When my son did recreational soccer when he was young my sister signed up her son too, who didnt really participate and my son would always complain about how embarassing it is when his cousin would have outburts and he quit. My son has been playing basketball consistently since and has been in AAU basketball for three years now. Hes been starting for his team for two seasons now, travels around the country competing and has won a few awards. He plans to make it to the league one day.

Because of this he has a new friend group of other players in the AAU in our area and state and my sister has been asking me for years that she feels like my son isnt as "close" to her son and that it makes her and her son sad. I didnt know how to break it to her that my son has never liked her son so I just said theyre getting older and going down different paths. My son has told me multiple times he doesnt want to be friends with his cousin because he has too many outburts and is weird. Hes been away at camp this summer but just got back and his birthday is next weekend. His father and I rented out a huge cabin and he invited his closest friends and even some hes met on the road and they want to spend that weekend swimming, hiking, playing basketball on the court attached to the cabin, then ending it with celebrating his birthday Sunday night. Ive been planning this weekend for a while now but havent told my sister since my son requested his cousin not be invited. He doesnt want him to have any episodes that would make him and his friends uncomfortable.

My sister has been asking me about the plans and Ive been just brushing it under the rug acting like my son is too tired from camp for any actual plans so she called me this morning saying she wants us to combine my sons birthday with hers (September birthday) since I havent made any plans and it would be fun. I finally told her the truth, that my son does have birthday plans and her son isnt invited. I tried to explain it as nice as possible but she was FUMING yelling at me! I told her that my son just wants a weekend of fun and no drama and she said that her son isnt going to do anything wrong. Meanwhile during the call he was screaming and crying at his little sister for eating his favorite cereal. I told her to be realistic and that I can hear him having an episode on the phone and thats what my son doesnt want at his party.

She started crying herself saying her son has no friends and that my son is his only friend and that Im a horrible ableist for not telling my son hes a "bigot" for discriminating against someone on the spectrum. I told her that my son only hung out with his cousin because I told him that he has to, not because he wanted to and that he has never been kind to my son. She said that he needs to learn to treat people better and if I dont want to combine, we should at least invite him. My son was in the room for the call and kept mouthing "no please" and I said that its my sons birthday and he can choose who he invites. She hung up. Hours later multiple family members like our grandma, my parents, and a few siblings have all called me saying that Im a horrible person and that I shouldnt alienate my sisters son for being on the spectrum and that my son is the only friend hes ever had so to not let him think hes better than his cousin. AITA?

I F(24) dabble in photography quite often as for a career I design clothing and model it to save costs. So when my brother Jake M(21) asked me to photograph his wedding, I of course agreed. My brothers wife, Chelsea(22) is a very kind woman, however her stylistic choices can sometimes be a bit wild. I do not judge at all because I know innovation is part of self expression.

Chelsea showed me her wedding makeup, and she had these vibrant green contacts on. They looked extremely reptilian on her due to it not matching her undertone. When she showed me the picture, I told her she looked lovely, but that the contacts weren't the best. She seemed a bit offended, and told me she just wanted to look "exotic like you". I offered to find her some more natural contacts but she wouldn't relent.

On her wedding day, as I took pictures, the contacts looked even worse, like a neon green light up sign. When Jake was free for a moment, I showed him a few pictures. He called Chelsea over, and she seemed to be happy with the pictures, while Jake seemed a bit iffy. Chelsea asked what I thought, and I told her she looked stunning, but I then asked if she'd like me to edit the contrast a bit in the pictures. She then got extremely defensive, and accused me of calling her ugly on her own wedding day. Of course that was not my intention, but I left early to prevent a scene.

Edits to answer some questions:

1. The bride was not being racist with the exotic comment, English is her second language, I just look unconventional.

2. I left the wedding at 1am instead of 3, they had lots of pictures taken by me

3. I asked her about the edits at the wedding itself as she wanted them posted ASAP on my account and hers. I didn't want her to receive rude comments from our relatives, my followers or anything like that, but I also didn't want her to be edited without consent.

Finally, here is what the contacts looked like,

Or How do I handle/tell my brother that his daughter destroyed one of my decorations when she stayed with me? And as a result is not allowed back at my house.

Full context: my husband (30m) and I (30f) do not have kids and have no plans to have them. My brother (36m) and his wife (40f) have 5 kids and another on the way(planned) 18m, 15m, 10m, 8f, 1f.

In October my husband and I moved to where we are about 2 hours from my brother and his family (after being a 3 days drive away for the last 3-4 years) and now that we are closer I’m trying to spend more time with them.

I had reached out to my brother and his wife to see if the 8 year old could stay with my husband and I over the summer. I thought it could be a cool way to give her some one on one attention and I remember being around that age and staying with my aunt who didn’t have any kids during the summer and I had a blast.

So a couple of weeks ago she came down and stayed Tuesday to Saturday. I could write a whole other post on all of the challenges we had with her while she was here, but there were also some fun times too. My husband and I are still solidly not having kids after her visit and we probably won’t invite her to come visit again for a little while, but I know she had fun.

Today we were deep cleaning the house including the guest room that she stayed in and when we opened a drawer in the way back of it we found a bobble head we had gotten from a Rockies game covered in pink paint or nail polish or something. Now, I don’t paint my nails so I didn’t have any nail polish and she couldn’t have found any paint or anything at my house, so we have no idea what she used to mark up this bobble head like she did (and it is almost completely pink now) So she must have brought whatever it was with her (because I was pretty thorough in trying to make sure she didn’t have access to anything that could cause a large mess)

Yes, I’m upset that she took a decoration we had (that we can’t get another of) and destroyed it but I suppose that it was my fault for not putting that decoration in a place she couldn’t get to. (Also didn’t know she would do that honestly). In the grand scheme of things it is just a bobble head and could have been a lot worse (we hope we won’t find anything worse at least). What’s done is done and we definitely wont ask to have her visit again.

Would I be an asshole if I told my brother she’s not invited back because I don’t trust her not to destroy anything else?

My (30F) father (60s) shops like a doomsday prepper. Whenever he gets groceries, he buys enough to feed a family of 5. He's also the type to buy food he doesn't plan on eating anytime soon, "just in case" he craves it.

This has always been a problem. When I was younger, my sister and I spent more time at our mom's place, and weren't there often enough to eat much. Nowadays, he lives alone, so even less of what he buys is eaten.

The result has always been the same: a lot of the food he buys ends up either spoiled or sitting in a freezer until the end of time. We've never eaten anything that's rotten or moldy, but my dad has always refused to listen when I tell him this is bad for his health.

My family went to his place for dinner about a week ago. I arrived earlier to help my father out, as he planned on making burgers. My husband would come later with our kids (5M and 2F).

I had offered to buy some burgers when we decided on them, but my father had said he had some at his place. I didn't think about what that could mean until I saw him pull a box of burgers and some cheese from the very bottom of the freezer.

As both had clearly been there a while, I checked the expiration dates. The cheese expired in February (I know dairy products can last longer frozen, but still). The burgers expired in March 2021.

I asked my father if he actually planned on cooking that food. He said yes, as both were frozen and "still fine" to eat.

I told him I didn't care how edible he thought the food was, the meat was older than my daughter. We could think about something else to make or I could have my husband pick up some burgers on his way to my dad's place, but I didn't want my kids eating that.

My father got offended. He started going on about how the food was safe and how a dozen nutritionists (AKA some guys his girlfriend found on TikTok) had said so. He said he couldn't believe I didn't trust him.

He continued talking about how dramatic I was being for a while. I was very upset at the way he responded. Finally, I said: "My kids aren't eating that, and I don't want you cooking for them again. Either (husband's name) buys the burgers or we're not staying for dinner."

My husband ended up buying the burgers. We ate them peacefully and no one fought in front of the kids.

The next day, my father told me he was upset by what I'd said. He said he felt offended that I'd "accuse him of putting his grandchildren in danger" like that. I told him that wasn't my intention, I just didn't want to feed my kids 3 year old meat, and he refused to listen to me.

My dad's still insisting I'm being dramatic. My husband is completely on my side, but thinks forbidding my father from cooking for our children might have been a little too much.

AITA?

I just don't get the appeal surrounding this food. To me, it's made of bland, watery broth with equally bland noodles, topped with chewy, overcooked beef. There seems to be little to no seasoning, except for the raw herbs on top that either do nothing or completely overpower the rest of the dish.

I thought that I just wasn't going to the right place, but I even went to a supposedly "authentic" place that checks the boxes - cheap tables and plastic stools, menu only in Vietnamese, recommended by Asian friends - but the pho wasn't any better.

It's not like I'm afraid of unfamiliar foods either. I'm a big foodie and love cooking. Still, I just can't get over how unappealing pho is to me.

My brother Ian was married to a great woman who had a wealthy ass family. Old money, property, and the privilege that came with it. Ian fucked it up so bad going into addiction, constant partying on his wife’s dime. No shocker when they get divorced and Ian is left with shit because of his behavior.

It’s been over 10 years since that divorce and Ian hasn’t remarried tho his ex did and has kids. She seems to be doing great while Ian works at crappy job after crappy job because his attitude sucks. He now lives with my mom and is probably going to drink himself to death and is still blaming his ex wife for taking everything he had. He went into his rants recently at a family dinner to one of my kids (7) about how his ex aunt screwed over our family and how the kid would be set for life she (the ex) wasn’t so selfish, spoiled, entitled and whatever. For my kids sake I set Ian straight and told him how he messed up his own marriage, how his poor decision and drug use messed up his life and no one is entitled to anyone else money ever. Some people are just born into it and that’s life. I don’t want my kids having the same mindset of whatever is wrong with my brother because I don’t even know. I told my son uncle is sick and greed does that to you. My brother is mad at me and my mom asking me, my wife, and kids to leave the dinner since that is now Ian’s home and I was being disrespectful. I need to let my children know that Ian’s problem are all Ian’s fault because I don’t want them to think it’s ok to be like him.

My friend of 30 years, her daughter and 3 grandsons (13, 10, 8) dropped by my house for an unannounced visit. I live alone. We three adults sat down in the living room to visit, but the three boys immediately started to run up the stairway, where my bedroom, craft room, and walk-in attic are. There are several reasons that it would have been unsafe for them to be in those rooms, so I politely asked the boys not to go upstairs. They were surprised but complied. My friend, on the other hand, got huffy and stated that since it was my house, I could do whatever I wanted, but what was the reason I didn't them to go upstairs? I was totally shocked by her question because I consider it extremely rude for her to assume that it was ok for her grandsons to go roaming and rummaging through my private rooms upstairs. She has never been upstairs herself! I stammered an answer that I had loaded guns upstairs (true) and she wanted details, like she didn't believe me. This whole incident has gotten under my skin. Should I have told her that my downstairs rooms are public but my upstairs rooms are private? AITAH for being offended by this?.

Update: Thank you for all your replies and your support! I have thought many times about ending our friendship but after 30 years, it's hard to do. Her children live out-of-state and I'm the only friend she has (you can see why). Yes, she does push the limits of our friendship and she does allow the grandsons to pillage through other people's houses. I'm just the only person who seems to be upset by it.

My fiancée (25 F) and I (25 M) had been dating for 6 years when I decided to propose to her last month. This was the happiest moment in my life— until a week later when her best friend (25 F) called and told me she needed to confess something.

She told me that my fiancée had told her a few years ago that she had one night stand with her ex and that my fiancée had also felt really guilty afterwards. My fiancée’s friend said it was wrong of her keeping such secret from me all along but once she learnt about my engagement, it had to come out, and she couldn’t keep it in anymore.

I was completely shocked and dejected; at first I thought she was lying but then she showed me the texts from a few years ago between herself and my fiancée discussing the hookup, and I saw in the texts that my fiancé was confessing how sorry she was about everything. The news broke me, tore my heart apart and made me sick in the stomach completely, and I felt nauseous.

For the first few days, I cried a lot and breaking up with her was what I really wanted, however I had no idea how to go about it. I acted like everything was normal to my fiancée. When I told my sister (23 F) about it, she was really angry, and she asked me to send her copies of these screenshots my fiancée had shared with me.

Last night was our anniversary, and I broke up with my fiancée but I felt guilty about how everything played out. My sister planned everything, including the gift. We had gone to a fancy restaurant for dinner, and we had invited my sister to come too. My fiancée was surprised that my sister would come but she was excited and happy.

The restaurant had prepared us a mini cake as it was our anniversary, and we had that cake after dinner. There were those firecracker lights and it seemed very romantic, and at the end, I gave my fiancée her gift which was neatly packaged in a box. My fiancée seemed very excited as she opened it, but when she opened it, it was a framed picture of the texts she had sent to her best friend a couple of years ago. My fiancée was initially confused but as she read it, she understood what it was, and she slowly got dejected. I just wanted to get out of there, but my sister said a lot of not so nice things to my fiancée pretty loudly, and I could sense that others were looking at our table too. It got really embarrassing, and my fiancée then started crying really badly, and my sister told my fiancée to take her own ride home, and my sister and I then left.

Obviously the wounds are still fresh, and my sister assured me it’s the least my ex fiancée deserved. Was I the AH?

My husband’s parents died in this car accident right after we was married. He had two younger siblings that was 13 and 15. So we moved into the home and raised them and we get the death benefit to help out. So now I’m 26 and they are 15 & 17. I don’t know what my family deal is but they have always treated them kind of shitty. I know they really aren’t my parent’s grandchildren but I am legally their guardian and they are orphans. I’m in no way resentful of the situation.

My mom planned a vacation to Disney World and Universal Studios for the family we are all staying in separate hotels and it’s around Halloween (Fall Break) my mom never said anything and I assumed the teens could come but mom just said it’s for family only and my husband and I was invited but not the teens. I told my mom they are my family and my brother and sister are bringing their kids. My mom said the teens would make things uncomfortable because my nibblings are much younger. I told my mom she can’t seriously expect us to leave the teens at home and if I’m paying why does it matter. My mom said none of the other siblings of the spouses are going and it’s just to awkward for our family involved and they understand if we can sit it out. I have already told the teens we are going. We have reservations, park tickets and plane tickets.

My mom said she just wanted some family time without the teens constantly tagging along and I should understand that. I told my mom she straight up sounded selfish and evil right now so I guess she needs to get her priorities in order and mom told me the rest of my family agrees and I told them that’s if if they choose not to hang with us on vacation but that doesn’t change what I think about them.

My mother was a MIL from hell. I feel immense guilt for letting it get to the point it did, and I acknowledge that I failed initially to protect my wife from her. We recently had one last sit down meeting with my mom to discuss the relationship. My mom chose to end it and go no contact and obviously it hurts, but I'm sure it will be for the best.

The issue is my mom's husband is an asshole and he was so happy about this no contact that he decided to take her on a celebratory trip. My mom has always wanted to go to Iceland and is currently on what looks like the trip of a lifetime (I know I need to get my wife off my mom's Instagram) Also my cousin confirmed this was her reward/a celebration of the severing of the relationship.

My wife feels my mom is an evil bitch for going on a trip like that and celebrating loosing her son. I don't disagree but my wife said I need to call into her and tear her a new asshole for it. i said I will not be contacting my mom for any reason. My wife said I need to set a boundary and my mom was "bullying her" I got annoyed and said she doesn't know what no contact means then and I will absolutely not be contacting my mother.

My BF [30M, RIP] and I [33M] were together for 15yrs. I was his Senior in Highsc, and we stayed together until a few months ago when he passed away due bone cancer.

I live in a traditional country where same sex marriage is no legal but is not a big issue socially. His parents kicked him out when he came out as gay at 17, my family took him in, helped him to finish HS and were supportive the most they could.

I work in HR and he worked in IT, since he started to work he made good money. He saved enough to purchase a house 10yrs ago, he was paying the mortgage all by himself. 4yrs ago he got the diagnosis. He reduced his working hours to take care of his health and I stepped in to pay the mortgage.

It was a hard battle, but cancer took him back in March. After he passed away, his family appeared in the picture, saying how they regretted not being in his son's life and stuff. Time went by and a month ago they reached out to me asking me when they can expect I could give them the keys of the house. Since same-sex marriage is no legal, they "could" claim the house as their family.

I told them that the house was in my name, I "bought" it from him a year into the cancer, so it was legally mine and I had been paying the mortgage way before it. They got upset and said I was being unreasonable, that it should be legally theirs, that my BF would have wanted to give them the house, which is in fact true, my bf talked a lot how he would give everything to them if that would fix the relationship between them. Actually, he bought the house as a way to bring them live with him so they would no longer rent; he also tried to make amends with them all this time, unsuccessfully.

I told them that I would give them the house for the price I bought it from my BF and they would have to pay me back these 4 years of mortgage + take the debt over their name. They said they didn't have the money and that it was so selfish of me to tell them that, knowing what my BF would have wanted. They proposed just to change the debt onto their name and give me no money in return, I declined. They got mad and the discussion got heated to the point they told me they would bring me to court accusing me of scamming my BF to have the house (they can’t).

They have been calling and texting me non-stop for the past month, telling me I would be an asshole to my bf if I don't give them the house. I know they can't pay me back all the money I put in the house, but I'm conflicted right now. Some friends told me that I should give them the house and move on with my life, but it just doesn't feel right to me. I'm leaning more onto not giving them the house, but I know my BF would jump the bed and give it to them. Right now their words feels empty and as if they just want to take advantage of the situation. I don't need the house, to be honest, but don't want to give them either.

We never talked with my bf what should I do with the house after his death, so WIBTA if I don't give them the house?

So a while ago me, my girlfriend, and her friends went to a fondue place for her birthday. It was a really popular spot so when we got there there were already 15-20 people waiting outside the restaurant. We put our names on the list and were hanging out chatting and waiting for our table. There were 2 outdoor tables with people eating while we waited and one group finished up and left, leaving the table empty. Enter Smart Guy and his girlfriend. This guy walks up to a restaurant and sees 20ish people standing outside around an empty table with used plates and silverware still on it and.. just sits down at the table with a very smug look on his face like he's figured out a life hack that all the other people in line were too stupid to think of. Everyone outside is giving this guy the stink-eye now. His GF, who unlike him DOES have the ability to feel shame, starts trying to tell him they need to put their name on the list and he can't just 'claim' a table at a busy restaurant because nobody else is currently sitting there. The guy, who is fully being glared at by at least 6 other people a few feet away from him, doubles down and explains to her that thats not how it works, he was the first to claim the table and he doesn't want to move and give someone else the opportunity to take it. She tries in vain to argue but Smart Guy just gets on his phone and continues tuning the rest of the world out. Then like 30 seconds later a waitress comes out to clean the table and when she sees him she's like "Yeah you can't sit there there's a huge waiting list, do you seriously not see all these people around you?" and some people outside start laughing at him or making comments. GF is fucking mortified and as soon as the guy sheepishly gets up she insists they leave because she's too embarrassed to eat with him in public. It's just wild to me the way that some people will double down on behavior they know is wrong just because they think admitting their wrongness makes them look stupid.

New poster as I need advice so I finally had to make an account. I have a problem that I’m not quite sure how to handle so some insight and advice would definitely be appreciated. I (30F), am single by choice as I’m well aware of how much work goes into relationships, and I don’t want to be in a relationship just to be able to claim I am. I don’t know if that makes any sense. I work from home doing freelance design work as well as a tutor for high school and college levels students. I make quite good money doing it.

The problem is my sister (34F) who has two kids, a boy I’ll call Jason who’s twelve, and a girl I’ll call Adamanta who’s 14. Jason is very much on the spectrum, which I don’t have a problem with at all. The issue is that mentally, doctors have warned he won’t develop any further, and hasn’t since he was about 8. He’s prone to outbursts, verbal and physical, and cannot handle any change in routine or patterns.

Adamanta, unfortunately, has been pushed to the side frequently by my sister, who spends 90% of her time trying to keep Jason under control. Adamanta has the smallest of the rooms in that house and doesn’t get out much aside from school or times I find excuses to have her with me. I try to do so at least three to four times a month, and she’ll stay with me for two days. We both really enjoy as we have similar interests and hobbies and she has her own room here at my house.

Here's the problem, Jason has gotten to the point where it’s often unsafe to be around him. His teachers, even with his IEP cannot handle him and neither can my sister or her husband as he spends most of his time working. It’s now been addressed that Jason may have to be put into a center that can help him more than my sister can unless she can find other accommodations for more personal hand’s on teaching that keeps him sequestered from other students he could lash out at. CPS has gotten involved as well, and they’ve recommended that Adamanta also be removed from the home due to neglect and doubts about my sister and BIL’s ability to support her as well.

CPS has reached out to me, as my sister’s only living family, to see if I could take on both children given that I work from home and teach on the side possibly allowing me to take over Jason’s education. I can’t do that. I’ve made it clear to my sister long ago that I knew I wasn’t able to give that amount of care and mitigate Jason’s outbursts even when he was a toddler. I can’t now when he’s much bigger, and his outbursts have only gotten more violent. I can, and did, however, take Adamanta. My sister has called me screaming that I’m tearing her family apart, because if I don’t take Jason not only will he be removed from my sister’s and BIL’s care, but they won’t have Adamanta either.

I’ve talked to Adamanta, and she actually broke down crying begging me not to send her back. Evidently, there was a lot happening in that house I’m not aware of yet. The suggestion by my sister to take on Jason sent her into a full blown panic attack. She does NOT want to be around him. At all. I can’t seem to get my sister to understand that it’s not safe for Jason to be here with me, or at home with my sister but she’s not listening.

Any help would be appreciated as I’m lost on what to do. Do I try to take on Jason as well? Or do I just let him go to the living center which is only two hours from here, and keep Adamanta with me? I’m the only family available as my BIL aged out of the system and doesn’t have any family either. Am I in the wrong? Should I take Jason as well?

Three servers closing last night. Myself and one other server were doing all the closing work while a third was standing around doing nothing. It was the other good server's turn to be sat half an hour before the restaurant closed. An 8 top walked in, and the other good server asked if I could ask the third server to take it so we could finish doing closing work- the third server's closing work. I asked and the third server responded "no, she can take it." You've been complaining the entire night about having to close and you're going to not be willing to help out? Come on, bro. We would bend over backwards for another server and you're just refusing to help at all. I took it because the other good server was not in a position to take tables, and I didn't really expect much of a tip from an eight top who comes in half an hour before close. It was unspoken, but we both knew if she took it we'd be there another hour. None of us wanted it, but I was closing foh so at least I'd be around if they needed anything. No big deal, but his response and lack of willingness to help was really irritating. It's a team. Act like it.

The eight top tipped me $70 on a $160. The server who refused to help got a 2-top five minutes later, he messed up the order and they stiffed him.

Eat it, Dustin. Karma's a bitch.