Q&As

Throw away account

This is a long emotional story but I will try to make this as short as possible and get straight to the point.

When I 25f was 15 I was in a car accident which left me badly injured and due to my injuries this left me unable to have children. My husband who i will call Jack for the sake of the post has known this since he has met me and we always agreed that we will use a surrogate when we want children.

About a year ago Jack and I talked an agreed that we are ready to have children, we talked about it for a while and decided that we were going to go through an agency as we didn't feel right asking someone we know personally. We were quickly matched with a woman who I will call Jess. We got the paperwork done and soon after Jess then got pregnant with mine and Jack's baby boy.

She was always super sweet towards myself and Jack and we saw no red flags or warning signs. However this quickly changed after our son Owen was born once she heard the name she sort of made o face but we brushed it off. Then she came over to our house the day after we got to take Owen home and came over every day and stayed for hours always trying to take him out of our arms or being critical when jack or me tried to do anything involving Owen.

This went on for about two weeks but yesterday I finally snapped when she picked Owen up and said come to mama. I yelled that she wasn't his mom and that she is no longer welcomed in my home. She then sent me a bunch of angry texts claiming I was so ungrateful and a huge bitch.

I stand by my decision but I feel guilty about the way I reacted.

Aitah

So some backstory:

My dad left the family and went no contact when I (35M) was 4. My mom remarried and had two kids with my stepdad. My stepdad never treated me poorly but always made clear that I was Dale (fake name) to him. He was not my dad. My mom never tried to fix the relationship and honestly loved her new family and always saw me as a burden.

That’s what I thought at least until it was confirmed after my freshmen year of college when my mom asked me not to come home anymore. I blocked her after that phone call and have had no contact with her or my stepdad (and half-brother) since then. I do still speak to my half-sister (25F) at her insistence but that’s my only contact.

It took me a long time to deal with basically being kicked out of my family. I grew to be pretty independent and thought I’d live alone until I met my fiance (28F) 4 years ago.

We have had a great relationship and her family opened up and invited me in with open arms. She comes from a pretty typical suburban family and they are great. Over the years I’ve told her about my issues with my family, she has met my sister and she never pushed for more, until we started planning the wedding.

When we started talking about who we would invite I talked about friends from college and co-workers and she kept saying I should invite my parents. At first I thought she was just trying to gauge if I wanted to. I said I would not be inviting my parents. She said okay but then brought it up again the next day. I calmly explained how much they hurt me, how growing up feeling you were unwanted and then having it confirmed at 19 really stunted my mental health. That over the years I have realized it’s their problem and if they ever want to solve it then they can initiate but I am in contact with my sister and it is clear they are happy insisting I don’t exist. It sucks but it’s their problem that they have thrust onto me. I can’t be the one to solve it.

I thought it had ended but she has brought it up two more times. The last one was last night, we were about to start the save the dates and she said “are you sure you don’t want to invite you parents? I feel like I might just invite them on my side.” And I snapped. I told her we should probably just throw the invitations away because if you can’t respect what I’ve been through then I don’t want to marry you. I then went to our bedroom and fumed for awhile. She came in to try to talk to me and I walked out, grabbed my keys and left. I came back around 11pm after hanging with friends and slept on the couch. She left for work without a word to me and I don’t know where we stand. Her behavior is unacceptable but I feel I may have gone too far. What do you all think, AITAH?

I have a very nice wedding dress which my own mother made for me. So I have a big attachment to it especially since my mom passed away. I personally do not sow, never was good at it.

I have two daughters, one of them has always loved my dress. She is going to get married next year. She asked me if she could use my dress. My daughter will not fit into the dress, it would need to upsized multiple sizes. This basically would be cutting the dress up and adding panels. It wouldn’t be the same dress.

I told her no, this cause a huge argument. She’s pissed I won’t allow her to upsize the dress and I am leaving it to rot. I told her my decision was final and I don’t want my dress to turn into a new dress.

She thinks I am a huge jerk

My wife (36F) and I (35M) have 2 kids (10F & 8M). We live in a school district that has already started school and our kids have been in classes for about 2-3 weeks now. Our daughter has been having an issue with her lunch being stolen a few times a week. The school offers breakfast and lunch, but it isn't free. We always put money in accounts for the kids in case they want to eat school lunch instead of what we pack for them, so our daughter doesn't go hungry even if her lunch is taken. She also doesn't have any dietary restrictions.

My wife works night shift as a nurse, so I am the one getting the kids up and ready for school in the morning, including packing lunches. And yes, I put their names on everything. My daughter has told me every time that her lunch was taken. The first few times I asked her to just eat school lunch, but she doesn't always like what they offer. So, I started making 2 lunches for her and told her to hide one in her backpack instead of bringing it into the classroom where the other lunches are.

I've also talked with her teacher about it and she said she would be more vigilant about the lunches. But that hasn't stopped them from being stolen. My daughter is not the only one having this issue. My wife is up in arms about it and wants to bring it up to the principal, superintendent, school board, etc. She thinks that whoever is stealing from our daughter is a thief and has some kind of grudge against our daughter. I, however, have a different view on it.

The way I see it, whoever is taking lunches probably needs that food more than my daughter does. If their family had means of providing packed lunches, I would assume they would do so. Same goes for putting money in an account for school lunch. My feeling is that whichever kid is stealing lunches is hungry and I don't want to compound that by making this a bigger issue. The teacher is already aware and I don't feel we need to elevate this beyond that.

Our family is not in dire straights financially. We do just fine. But I know that isn't the case for everyone. And if packing 2 lunches for my daughter means that a hungry kid gets a solid meal, I'm ok with it coming out of our pockets.

My wife and I got into an argument about this because she wants to send an email to anyone and everyone at the school district that she feels "needs to know about this." I told her that we should wait and see if the teacher can figure out who the kid is and we can handle this without bringing the whole school district down on this kid and their family.

My wife wants to set up meetings with the teacher and principal, but I told her she would need to be the one attending them, because I won't. And since she usually sleeps during the day when the kids are in school, she didn't like that. She thinks I am being an AH by not "protecting our daughter." But our daughter is not going hungry and whoever is taking her lunches isn't either, which I'm ok with.

Hello, my fiancee is 38 weeks pregnant, her job gave her the maternity leave paperwork maybe about 2 to 3 weeks ago, she turned them in to the doctor and they said it would take a week for the forms to be ready

Well, fast forward, this sunday august 4 she started feeling contractions, yesterday monday august 5 she STILL WENT TO WORK but had to leave because she was feeling contractions. We went to the OB and they told her the baby would be delivered sometime this week and to monitor her contractions. We asked about her maternity leave forms and they said they had already faxed the forms but there was one the employee had to return. This was yesterday.

Today her water broke around 7am and here we are about to deliver. Her supervisor told her that they would fire her for not turning in her paperwork and that HR has been in the talks since yesterday about this decision, any thoughts?

I (F25) have been best friends with Claire (F26) since high school. We’ve been through everything together—breakups, family dramas, and countless life changes. Claire was even there when I met my fiancé, Tom (M27), two years ago. She was thrilled for me and supported our relationship from the start.

Tom proposed to me six months ago, and I was over the moon. I immediately asked Claire to be my maid of honor, and she accepted with enthusiasm. Everything seemed perfect until a month ago.

Tom and I hosted an engagement party at our place, inviting close friends and family. Claire, being my best friend, was there early to help with preparations. As the night went on and people started drinking, I noticed Claire getting unusually close to Tom. At first, I brushed it off as friendly banter, but then I overheard something that made my heart drop.

While I was in the kitchen, I heard Claire say to Tom, "You know, if things were different, you and I would have made a great couple." Tom, visibly uncomfortable, tried to laugh it off and change the subject. But Claire persisted, touching his arm and saying, "I’m just saying, you’re quite a catch."

I was shocked and hurt. This was my best friend hitting on my fiancé at our engagement party. I confronted Claire later that night, and she dismissed it as a joke, claiming she was drunk and didn’t mean anything by it. Tom apologized, saying he didn’t want to make a scene and didn’t think she was serious.

However, this incident planted a seed of doubt and betrayal in me. Over the next few weeks, I noticed Claire being more flirtatious with Tom, always under the guise of joking. I tried to talk to her about it again, but she would laugh it off or get defensive, accusing me of being paranoid and insecure.

I made the difficult decision to not have Claire as my maid of honor. I couldn’t shake off the feeling of betrayal and the fear that she might do something inappropriate at the wedding. I told Claire my decision, and she exploded, calling me irrational and accusing me of ruining our friendship over nothing. My parents and some friends think I’m overreacting, saying Claire was just joking and I should let it go.

Now, the wedding is approaching, and I haven’t invited Claire. The guilt and doubt are eating me up. Did I overreact? Should I have given her another chance?

AITA for not inviting my best friend to my wedding after she made a pass at my fiancé?

Recently, me (M24) and my (F23) girlfriend moved into a new place together. Everything about living together and the living situation has been great, expect when we got into an argument a few days ago about something which I find quite bizarre.

She pulled me aside as I was getting ready for bed a few days ago and had a conversation with me, telling me that I needed to stop peeing standing up. She told me it was gross and that she didn’t want to be stepping all over my waste when she went to the bathroom. Keep in mind we live in a 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom studio apartment.

Now yes I wholeheartedly sympathize with women who have to deal with asshole men who act like slobs in the bathroom, and I would understand my girlfriend expect I did none of this. No urine got on the seat, floor or anywhere near it, no smell remained in the bathroom, and I always left the lid down to flush anyway for hygiene.

I told her this, but she has refused to listen out and has told me multiple times she doesn’t want me peeing standing up and thinks its gross. Now really this is my home too we are splitting the rent, and I think I have every right to piss standing up in my own home and think its ridiculous.

My longtime boyfriend of 7.5 years and I just had our newborn daughter almost three weeks ago is asking for a paternity test. We met at work. I’m a nurse and he is a surgeon and he is very dedicated to his job. So needless to say he does work a lot. I currently am not working, so I stay home a lot, and he supports us. Throughout our relationship I have been very faithful to him. He, however, has had a few slip ups throughout our 7.5 years. Which I have forgiven him. He has told his OR staff that he asked for a paternity test, which upset me. He says they understand why I would be upset. His rational is that he doesn’t want to raise a child that he doesn’t know if it’s his 100%. He doesn’t want to find out later on down the road that she’s not his. Like he sees in movies. He just wants to be sure. But then he goes on to say that I’m home all the time by myself since he’s never home and he doesn’t know what I do for sure. Which definitely is a slap in the face to me as I have been the one who has been faithful. If he wants to pay for the paternity test then I’m fine with that. But AITAH for being upset in how he’s trying to rationalize it and make me as if I’m the one who is unfaithful?

I (m27) and my gf (f24) live together, however with that, her mother (f57) lives with us. Essentially her mom was evicted from their apartment a few days after my girlfriend moved in with me, since then it has been utter hell.

Essentially the mom does a few chores but does not work, has not applied for jobs, or anything, so she is essentially a leach, and my gf has been kinda the same, she has a few jobs but doesn’t do any chores or anything really, I provide for everything and everyone and pay all the bills and for dinners/outings etc.

I feel I would be the AH here because she would be homeless and on the street and my girl is considering going with her if that happens, but I also have no qualms on ending the relationship if she did choose to move out also, so WIBTA?

I (F27) have been best friends with Laura (F28) since college. We’ve supported each other through many life events, and I was thrilled when she got engaged and asked me to be her maid of honor. We’ve been planning her wedding for months, and I’ve done my best to help with all the arrangements.

Laura and I have always had a close relationship, but recently, tensions have risen over my parenting choices. I have a two-year-old daughter, Emma, and Laura has been vocal about her opinions on parenting. She’s particularly critical of my decision to use cloth diapers and my approach to sleep training.

During a casual get-together last month, Laura made a comment that really hurt me. She said, “I don’t understand why you insist on making parenting so complicated. Maybe if you did things the normal way, Emma would be more adaptable.” Her tone was dismissive and condescending. I tried to brush it off, but it stuck with me.

A week later, I received an invitation to Laura’s bridal shower. I knew the shower was going to be a big event, with many of her other friends and family members attending. I felt a pang of hurt over the comment and, to be honest, I wasn’t excited about the idea of spending an entire afternoon with someone who had criticized my parenting choices.

After much deliberation, I decided to skip the bridal shower. I sent Laura a polite message explaining that I had a prior commitment and couldn’t attend, though I didn’t mention her comments. I thought it was better to avoid any further conflict.

Laura found out I wasn’t coming and was hurt. She reached out, saying she was disappointed and felt that I was being unreasonable by letting personal grievances affect our friendship. She accused me of not supporting her during a crucial time and claimed I was prioritizing my hurt feelings over our long-standing friendship.

My other friends and family members are divided. Some say I should have been there for Laura, regardless of personal issues, while others think I had every right to take a step back if I felt disrespected.

I’m feeling conflicted and guilty about missing such an important event in Laura’s life. Did I overreact by skipping the bridal shower after her criticism? AITA for not attending my best friend’s bridal shower due to her comments about my parenting?

I matched with a girl on Tinder and chatted for a couple of days. She mentioned that there was a big event happening three states over and asked me if I wanted to join her on a short holiday for a week.

I agreed, picked her up, we had dinner to see if we clicked, and then I drove to the event.

When we reached the event she ended up hooking up with another guy in the hotel room I'd booked. She scarpered off and eventually returned to the hotel room very, very late after not seeing her for hours and very, very drunk.

Obviously, I was pissed that I'd been used as a free travel ticket, and I had to spend most of my time at this event alone. I wasn't expecting to be rewarded with sex, but at the very least don't abandon me in another state while you go shacking up with other guys!

It is still going on for three more days, but can I legally just abandon her here and drive home? Or do I have a legal obligation to take her with me? I'd rather not waste any more of my time, and I might be able to do the Maquoketa Caves if I leave now.

I told her I was going to leave and she insisted that I had to wait for her, as I was the only way she could get back home.

States involved are Iowa, Illanois, and Indiana. Currently in Indiana.

I was just reminded that the Empire State Building is pushing 100 and I know there are buildings even older. Do they do enough maintenance that we’re not worried about them collapsing just due to age? Are we going to unfortunately see buildings from that era get demolished soon?

I (26F) am getting married to my fiancé (26M) in a few months time. I offered to go shopping with my future MIL for her outfit as she only has sons and I thought this would be a fun thing to experience together. She turned me down and decided to go with a friend instead.

We had multiple conversations about what kind of outfit she would end up with, and specifically spoke about how I wasn't ok with guests wearing white or ivory, as in my eyes this is something that should be reserved for the bride.

She went shopping for her outfit yesterday, and sent me photographs of so many beautiful outfits that she tried on while she was still in the store. I answered right away and we were texting the whole time. I should probably mention that none of these outfits are white or ivory.

Yesterday evening, I checked in to see if she had been successful, and she then sent a photograph of the outfit she had bought, asking what I thought of it. It was not one of the photos she had already sent, and the dress is white. The store she bought it from is not cheap, and doesn't offer refunds or returns, which I know from shopping there previously.

I was FURIOUS. I spoke with my fiance and he agreed with me that it seemed she had purposefully been decietful because the dress is white. We agreed that the dress is lovely but that the colour is crossing a line.

I haven't responded to MIL yet as I don't really know what to say. I don't want to be a 'bridezilla' but at the same time this is a boundary that I had established before she went looking for an outfit.

My fiancé has spoken to MIL, he hasn't mentioned my feelings about the dress but she has told him that she doesn't think I like it. When he asked her why she thought that, she stopped answering.

Would I be the asshole if tell her she can't wear the dress to our wedding?

I (33m) was estranged from my father for over a decade. It had been a very long time coming when I did finally decide to become estranged at 20. I had already moved out when I was 17 and I had made sure to limit my contact with my father before ending all ties between us. A lot of this had to do with the decisions he made while my mom was terminally ill and after her death. This ranged from trying to sleep with mom's sister while mom was still alive, to yelling at my mom while she was sick for being so sick, to burning several family photos of us in the days after mom died. He also sold my mom's easel which she'd had most of her life and was sentimentally valuable to not just me, but my aunts and uncles also. I was 13 at the time. My dad ended up damaging a lot of mom's stuff when he met his second wife and moved her in. To move her in he moved my mom out. In the process a lot of harm came to mom's things. My aunts and uncles took them and stored them and we went through them when I was 20.

I was completely no contact with my dad until his death almost a year ago. Even when I was informed he had transferred a lot of money over to me and had put my name on the deed of a family vacation home he and my mom had owned prior to her death. That was the biggest chunk of everything he owned. He never told his wife/now widow. He also didn't own the house they were living in and that we had all lived in prior. It was his friends house. I was never sure how it worked but he never paid for it while I was living there (3 years for me).

After he died a letter was sent to me where he told me he had given me all of that so it was mine outright and because he wanted to make up for his mistakes in a small way.

His leaving me with so much meant there was basically nothing for his wife and the other children they had. Only what he had in joint accounts and no property. It was all legally binding. His widow attempted to sue for a fair share of my father's assets but her case did not go far because it had been handled prior to his passing and was 100% legally mine. I didn't go to the funeral or anything so I was surprised to hear from her, and I still don't know where she got contact info for me, or my father for that matter. She told me I should be looking after my family and I should want better for the children she and my father shared at least. She made it clear she expected me to want a relationship. I told her I did not and I did not consider her children my family, because her late husband stopped being my family a long time ago. She said it wasn't fair that I could be so cold to my flesh and blood and that they got screwed over by their father and then by me. She said I owed them something. I told her I didn't. I ended the call and blocked her but she reached out to me through social media and called me selfish and cruel and how I had no morals.

AITA?

I really need some help please as I've spoken to the police and they said there's nothing they can do as the little brats are under 13. I'm 7 months pregnant with twins and it is horrendous at the moment and the heat has made it so much worse. I can't sleep properly at night and the whirring of fans is too annoying.

We've got scaffolding around the back of the house as my husband is working on repairing our roof and gutters and the scaffolding is directly outside our bedroom window around the back. You cannot see the scaffolding from the front, only from the neighbour's garden.

I've been sleeping naked with the windows open because of the heat for the past weekend. The neighbours little brats have been jumping over the garden fence to climb the scaffolding and take pictures and videos of me in the morning. We have CCTV of them jumping the fence multiple times and my husband found their tiktok accounts and has taken screenshots of their posts. We've reported it to tiktok but no reply.

Can we do something about this? Can we take the parents to court? We've shut the curtains and windows and have fans on but now I'm not sleeping at all. the little brats are ruining my life and affecting my health and they can't be allowed to get away with this.

I'm a teacher and I have two children with my husband. When we were first expecting a baby we talked about what we wanted for our child's name and something important to both of us was a name that was unlikely to be misspelled. Using my experience as a teacher I compiled a list of boy and girl names that this tends to be a problem with. I also included another list of names that, while easy to spell generally, have many different spellings that are considered correct and could be annoying (Haley, Hayley, Hailee, Haleigh, Hailey as a big example). The list is pretty long. Some of the names people would be like omg no, that's not misspelled often but I have heard of it happening enough that it made it onto the list.

My brother and SIL are expecting a baby together. He wanted to avoid names that have a high risk of being misspelled so he asked me if I would make a copy of the list to share with him. Of course I said yes. And I saw no possible from sharing the list. But SIL was not happy. She didn't like that I had any part of the decision. My brother told her it would be a good resource to have while they searched for names. She told him the list was way too long and it wasn't my place. They argued and eventually asked SILs sister, who is an L&D nurse, if she could confirm the names I wrote can be misspelled somewhat often. She confirmed the names. Said nothing I had added was wrong. She clarified, like I had, that it didn't guarantee it would happen but often does.

SIL still didn't like it and she asked me if I had saved the list to interfere in other people's naming of their kids. I said no. I kept it because my husband and I didn't know if we would have more children together. But I wouldn't deny sharing with someone else because it's not a list of names that I'm telling people to use and I told her I'm not even saying not to use them. Just that in my experience as a teacher who speaks to kids, they get misspelled.

SIL said it wasn't my place to share any list.

AITA?

I (F29) have a close friend, Sarah (F30), who I’ve known since high school. Over the years, we’ve supported each other through various ups and downs. Last year, Sarah faced a financial emergency and asked me for a loan. She needed $2,000 to cover unexpected medical bills. I didn’t hesitate to help her out, knowing how important it was for her.

We agreed that she would repay me within six months. I was understanding about her situation and didn’t press her for the money until the agreed-upon deadline was approaching. However, when the six months came up, I didn’t receive any payment or communication from Sarah. I reached out to her, and she assured me that she was working on it but was facing some financial difficulties of her own.

Another three months passed, and I still hadn’t received any repayment. I reached out again, explaining that I needed the money back as I had some unexpected expenses of my own and could no longer afford to wait. Sarah responded with a lot of anger and frustration, saying that she felt like I was abandoning her in her time of need and that I should have been more patient and understanding.

She accused me of being selfish and said I was putting our friendship at risk over money. She also claimed that she had been trying to come up with the funds but had been struggling with her own financial issues. She insisted that I should have waited longer, and she felt that my request for repayment was unfair and hurtful.

Our mutual friends are now divided. Some believe that I’m right to expect repayment based on our agreement, while others think I should have been more empathetic given Sarah’s situation. They argue that pressing her for money during her difficult time was inconsiderate.

I’m feeling conflicted. I genuinely want to support my friend, but I also need to address my own financial needs. Did I overreact by asking Sarah to repay the loan when the agreed time was up? AITA for wanting my money back and risking our friendship?