Q&As

Basically, this girl I always had a crush on got knocked up by some random loser and now while she is pregnant she has been wanting to date me. Her parents want me to step up and "be a man"... so they don't have to help her take care of the baby for like the next 18 years and have her stay with them (she is not a piece of cake btw)...but the thing is I am not the dad. She said she wants me to be her boyfriend and for me to get a job and a place for her and me to live to help raise "our" kid.

My dad told me to tell her to go f herself and not to put my dreams to the side and that I am so young and just a kid myself and to NEVER ever in my entire life get involved with her. He said HER baby is NOT my responsibility and he will be heartbroken if I voluntarily take on this burden. He fully supports me going into the Corps. I told her I do not want to get involved with her. Her dad told me I am not a real man.

I(34M) filed for divorce after discovering my wife's(35F) affair with her co-worker. We have been married for 8 years and together for 12. She has been acting cold towards me since last March. There were other suspicious things, too. After some detective work(snooping actually), I came to learn she had been having an affair with her co-worker. It was first emotional and then it became physical.

I didn't confront her and just kept acting like everything is okay. We had protected sex, continued our date nights and activities during that time. I was collecting evidence and working with my attorney to complete the filing behind the scenes and financial things. That lasted for about 4 months and she was served last week. I closed our mutual credit cards, took my half from our joint account and was completely prepared while she wasn't. My full STD test also came clear. She broke down and tried talking to me but I acted as if I am indifferent. In reality, I've been crying secretly some nights since I discovered her affair and it hurts. I'll see it to the end.

I talked about it with few friends and some of them told me I should've at least let her know I was filing for divorce so she could be prepared.

Was what I did wrong?

This is not my reddit account but I need opinions on this matter.

My wife (40F) and I (43M) have been married for 6 years and have 3 children.

My wife is a SAHM. Our son who's 3 years old is very hyperactive. She is naturally strict and authoritarian with our children but our son really struggles to listen to her and stay still. I admit that he is a very difficult child.

Yesterday when I came back home from work I noticed my son had bandages on the back of his hands. When I asked my wife about it she told me he was fooling around running in the kitchen and accidentally burnt himself.

I found her explanation very weird because of the location of the burning. It was in the middle of the back of both his hands which is a weird spot to fall on.

She finally admitted that she burnt his hands on purpose with a very hot metal spoon that she was cooking with, because he kept running in the kitchen and wouldn't stay still. When she told me that I slapped her and yelled at her.

Thinking that she purposefully inflicted such a pain to our 3yo son drove me crazy. The burns are very visible and he will need treatment for it.

I never hit my wife before but I honestly feel like she deserved it for what she did to our son..

AITAH ?

I [17m] am really into collecting colognes. I have 30+ full sized bottles as well as 50+ smaller sample sized decants (1-3 ml decants). Some of this admittedly is Christmas/birthday presents from friends and family, but I also buy with my own money, trade bottles I do have for bottles I want, and have a cologne review tiktok page that's popular enough for some companies to send me free bottles, so I don't want to give the impression of being daddy's money.

Anyways, my brother brought his girlfriend over, and I was giving her a tour of the house. We went to my room, she asked why I had so many cologne bottles, and I essentially said I always enjoy smelling new scents and am never satisfied that I've found the best scent when there's ones out there that I haven't smelt.

She asked if I was a fuckboy, I said I don't think so, and asked why. She said based off of how I always felt the need to try out new colognes and could never settle with what I had being enough for me, I probably do the same with women.

This made me laugh, and I asked if she had taken her first psych class or something. She got offended and asked me why I was laughing, and I admitted that I just frankly thought that was a really stupid analogy to make and inanimate objects and living humans aren't the same.

AITA?

I'm (20m) several years younger than all of my siblings. They're married with kids for the most part and settled while I'm still in college. I live close to my family so even when I'm on campus I can see them easily at weekends. I was always close to my nieces and nephews. One of my niece's, Elodie (10f) is on the spectrum. She's the sweetest kid but doesn't pick up on sarcasm or when someone is making fun of her and this can cause problems for her in school. My brother Nick (33m) got married a few months ago and is a stepdad to Sofia (11f).

Sofia has been caught bullying Elodie several times and mocking her, teasing her in a mean spirited way and generally being unkind. Elodie didn't realize until Sofia started saying downright awful things to her. The rest of my nieces and nephews didn't like that and now when we're all together, Sofia is excluded. They don't want to be around a bully or to force Elodie to act like Sofia is a good person to be around.

The bullying has been a point of conflict in the family. Nick and my sister/Elodie's mom Becca are hardly talking now and Nick's wife is determined to defend Sofia while Becca and her husband are so angry Nick stands by this bullying. Their school got involved before summer break and both sides had emails from teachers about the issue.

Nick has taken issue with me still playing with/interacting with my nieces and nephews when Sofia is excluded. He accused me of favoritism and told me I should be working on making sure Sofia is included and making the effort to be the fun uncle to her that I am to the others. He said he's really disappointed in me helping to exclude a young girl.

I told him it's not showing favoritism when I support my nieces and nephews when they don't include Sofia. I told him that's me protecting Elodie who doesn't deserve to be bullied among her family. I told him that the kids want to protect their cousin/sister and if he wants Sofia included he and his wife should nip the bullying in the bud because otherwise I see nothing changing and I won't blame the kids or Becca and her husband for keeping Sofia away from Elodie.

Nick told me all I basically said is I don't care about Sofia and fuck me for that. She deserves better.

AITA?

As I am writing this, I am laying in bed with my mom. She’s helping me gather my thoughts for some other opinions.

I am f24 and my husband is m30. We’ve been together for three years and married for one. This is a throwaway account just in case.

About a week ago my husband and I got into an argument over his phone, which he had misplaced. I was in the shower when he lost it and when I came out he was throwing a fucking fit over it. He was like “where did you put it, have you seen it?” Angrily yelling and snapping.

I said I hadn’t touched it and I needed to get dressed. My husband was standing in the doorway looking behind the door so I couldn’t open it. I said “hello, move please?”

Apparently my tone was rude because my husband turned around and shoved me into the room. I was like okay you need to calm down, I can help you look but I gotta get dressed. He tells me to hurry up. I snap back “I’m not gonna hurry up, it isn’t my fucking fault!”

My husband turned around and hit me on my mouth with the back of his hand. It didn’t even really hurt but I was appalled.

He called it a “warning tap” because of “my attitude”. I left right then and there.

I called my mom and came over. I haven’t left. My brother took me over the next day to get a few things. My husband asked me if all this really necessary and I said yeah, it is when you abuse your wife.

He was so stricken that I called it “abuse”. He screamed at me for it. He said I can ruin his career if I use that word. I know that I can and I know that he didn’t even hurt me, but that’s how I feel. He sent me several texts threatening to divorce me if I use that word again, or try to hurt his career by saying it someone “important”. AITAH for saying this, potentially citing this, and potentially ruining his career?

I am in a wedding this fall and I sent a text to the bride letting her know I will have my boho braids in at that time and won’t need my hair done at the wedding. I also let her know I could style them however she wanted me to! I know some brides like hair up or half up and I am more than happy to do any style she wants.

She responded asking if I could wear my natural hair instead so that everyone can be uniform. I will be the only black bridesmaid at the wedding and feel like most styles will not be uniform by nature. My natural hair can be hard to manage at events that last all day and I didn’t want to be dealing with it. So I mentioned I would feel more comfortable in the braids.

She is currently not responding but is telling others she is upset and thinks I am making it all about me. I really tried to be there for her leading up, I planned her bachelorette party, helped set up for her bridal shower and have helped with random wedding tasks.

Wondering if I should just not get the braids since she is the bride and it is her day. Or keep my appointment and get them since that will make me feel more comfortable and I will style them however she wants.

Title

My wife (34F) and I (38M) are shopping for our first house. We both put together lists of needs, wants, and deal-breakers for our desired home. We both had similar lists in terms of needs and wants. Multiple bedrooms and good schools for when we have kids, fenced in yard for our dog, no major renovations needed, etc. I only had one real deal-breaker. I told her I would refuse to even put an offer in on a house that has an HOA.

My parents lived in an HOA when I was a teenager and I saw the amount of BS they had to go through all the time. There's no way I want to spend a huge amount of money and have to deal with that kind of thing for who knows how many years. The house could check every single box in our need and want list and I would still refuse to even try and buy it.

Well, our search has not been an easy one. We have been priced out of a lot of areas that we were hoping to live in. And the houses that are more within our budget are not exactly what we're looking for. We've toured dozens of houses. Had offers rejected. Had sellers try to get us into bidding wars. We've argued, disagreed, and fought. It's sucked.

Last week our realtor sent us a home that was just hitting the market. She was excited because she thought it was "exactly what we are looking for." My wife fell in love with the pictures and wanted to set up a tour. But as I was looking at the listing, I saw it has an HOA. I told my wife that I don't even want to go look at it since I don't want to put an offer in.

She decided to set up a tour with the realtor without me. She viewed the home without telling me about it, then came home and was all excited to submit an offer. She spent an entire evening trying to convince me that it's her "dream house" and that we need to submit an offer before it's too late. She said there's no harm in submitting an offer just to see what the sellers say.

I told her that she knows an HOA is my #1 deal-breaker and that I find it pretty upsetting that she would go behind my back and do this on her own and then try and convince me to compromise my stance. She tried to downplay how much of an impact an HOA would have on our lives and told me that "a little inconvenience from an HOA won't offset how much we enjoy our home."

But she's never lived in an HOA. She hasn't seen first-hand how nuts they can be and how stressful it can be for a homeowner. I reminded her that when we started looking, that we both agreed that this had to be a 2-yes decision. Meaning that if one of us vetoed a house for whatever reason, we wouldn't pursue it. And she knows that an HOA is my #1 veto reason.

She's now super pissed at me for vetoing her "dream house." She's telling me we will never find a house that checks so many of her wants and needs and that I should just let go of the HOA thing and submit an offer. I told her she's letting her frustration with the process cloud her judgement and she's taking it out on me.

So I live near to a small village with a village green. Its a quintessential English country village with a village green, a little pub, and is quite beautiful.

The one exception is the block of public toilets, that seem to have been transplanted from a dystopian nightmare nuclear wasteground. On the outside its a harsh concrete structure weathered by time, inside its dark, scary, dirty and stinky.

For quite some time, the council was trying to close them down for cost reasons, and did actually shut them for various periods but the result was a vast increase in public urination / pooping behind the toilet block. Now they are only open when sports are being played on the green to save money.

People have been and still are being fined for littering due to taking a piss on the outside of the closed toilet block.

I just don't get it! Absolutely everybody needs a piss from time to time, some people with bladder / IBS or similar conditions NEED ready access to toilets to function. It seems like a no-brainer to me that we should as a society provide facilities to fulfil such a basic human need. I think they are an essential service.

When I've visited other countries, its very variable. Some seem to do public toilets very well (they don't have to be horrible), others just don't bother at all and just accept public shitting.

I find it particularly bizarre that we both shut down the bogs - and penalise people for peeing on the floor - its got to come out somewhere!

So, my (28F) sister (32F) is getting married in a few months, and what should be an exciting time has turned into a massive source of tension between us. For some context, my fiancé (29M) is an incredibly talented photographer. He’s done some professional work, but it’s more of a hobby for him now.

When my sister was planning her wedding, she mentioned wanting to hire a photographer, but when she found out how much it would cost, she started looking for alternatives. I suggested that she ask my fiancé if he’d be willing to help out. She seemed hesitant but eventually agreed, and they talked it over. He agreed to take some photos as a favor but made it clear that he wanted to enjoy the day as a guest, not work the entire event.

Fast forward to last week, and my sister sends out the final wedding itinerary to the bridal party and family. I noticed that my fiancé’s name is listed as “Assistant Photographer,” with a full schedule of shots he’s supposed to get throughout the day, including the ceremony, reception, and even some pre-wedding moments. She’s essentially turned him into an unpaid staff member without even asking him!

I was livid. I called my sister and told her that this was not what we agreed on, and she couldn’t just decide to give him a job on her wedding day. She got defensive and said that since he’s “so good at photography,” she assumed he’d want to help out more and that I was being unreasonable. She added that weddings are expensive, and she can’t afford to hire someone else, so he’s “doing the family a favor.”

I told her that if she was going to treat my fiancé like an employee, then neither of us would be attending the wedding. Now, my parents are furious with me, saying I’m overreacting and that I’m “ruining” my sister’s big day over something that should be a “non-issue.” They think my fiancé should just suck it up for the sake of family. Even my sister’s fiancé texted me, calling me selfish for “putting a silly title” over my sister’s happiness.

My fiancé is totally on my side and feels used, but now I’m starting to wonder if I’m being too harsh. AITA?

Edit: Based on some of the comments, I feel like I need to say that I didn't "offer" my fiancé's services, especially not for free. I suggested to my sister to talk to my fiancé to see if he'd want to help out because he had been saying he wanted to shoot something "serious". He's been really into photography lately so I thought it would be fun for him. But he didn't sign up to be a "Assistant Photographer" it was just supposed to be an opportunity for him and then he'd send my sister the pics. He was still going to be a guest but just taking some pictures

Edit 2: Idk why everyone keeps saying I "offered" my fiancé's services. My fiancé told me they talked and that's how I know what they agreed to. Also idk why everyone keeps commenting about my "boyfriend", he's my fiancé. It doesn't help to be told IATAH for offering my boyfriend's services when that isn't what happened at all

Last update: A lot of people are mentioned the assistant photographer thing like there is a main professional photographer. As I said in a comment, I think my sister just added "assistant" to justify not paying him. I only posted because my family is taking my sister's side and saying I'm being petty and ruining her big day, and I hate knowing I made them upset. My fiancé has been incredibly supportive through all of this, but I’m struggling with how to navigate this family drama.

I (19 M) have a sister, Emma (16 F). To give a little backstory mine and Emma’s dad left when Emma was 4, abandoning our mother for another woman leaving her a single mother.

Growing up Emma and I were very close, and as we got older I found myself taking a paternal role with her, helping with her homework, picking her clothes, cooking while our mother worked.

It became a routine in our family until my sophomore year in high school, my mother lost her job which was our main stream of income. This resulted in me having to get a job to help make ends meet.

During this time I was battling mental health issues and hung around the wrong group. I ended meeting my then girlfriend who was a junior at the time.

To make a long story short the relationship was very toxic and she ended getting pregnant, and decided to keep the baby. When my daughter, Olivia was 2 weeks old her mother abandoned us. Leaving our daughter with me, with this new responsibility I found my time being pulled from caring for Emma.

I did my best to make time to hang out with her, but over the years I noticed her becoming more resentful towards me. At first it was small comments here and there, then she starting getting upset when I’d tend to my daughter. Our relationship became strained after that.

I graduated from high school back in June and started looking for colleges. I found a community college a few hours away that wasn’t too expensive. The campus is a few minutes from my grandparents house so they offered to have me stay with them while attending classes, and they’d watch Olivia for me during the day.

I was speaking with my mom about it to arrange a time where she was off work and we could move my stuff. When Emma walked into the room and over heard. Her reaction became upset when she heard and she started calling me “selfish” and “unfair”.

For the next few weeks she continued this, but whenever I tried to explain she’d get upset and storm out of the room.

A few days ago we were home alone around 9pm, while our mom worked. And Emma and I had gotten into an argument about me moving. It was starting to get heated when my daughter woke up and started calling for me. The last straw was when I went to get her Emma had said, I was an asshole just like our dad abandoning her when she needed me most. And that she wishes my daughter was never born.

Before I could say anything she stormed into her bedroom and slammed the door. Her words struck me deeply, and for the past few days she’s refused to come out of her room.

After talking with my mom we’ve agreed it’d be best if I moved in with my grandparents earlier. And we’ve arranged to do it next weekend. I don’t know I’m feeling bad for what happened, and the guilt is eating me up inside. But I feel what I am doing is best for me and my daughter. So am I the asshole?

I am out of town with a group of families that all have wrestling kids. We all share big air bnb’s and most times parents will send their kids with us even if they can’t. One of the 14 year olds has just come up to me and said that he cant sleep here tonight because he is uncomfortable and scared of one of the other dads who is pretty drunk because he just got in his bed and was tickling his feet and “wrestling” with him. What in the hell do i do? The dad in question is drunk currently passed out.

4:37am add-on : Some of the other parents that are here are suggesting we just let it go.. main reason is bc it’ll ruin the whole weekend. And #2 they say this dad was so out of it he may of thought it was his own son (age 9) and he was just tickling and wrestling around with him in the least “inappropriate” way.

5:15am edit- Parents were called right after he broke this to me!! Parents don’t want the cops involved and don’t want to press charges. They are flying him home today and moving on.

5:18am edit- a report has been filed with Safesport, the governing body of minor athletes abuse and prevention

I noticed that all of the top-level female athletes seem to have small breasts. This led me to question if having small breasts would be an advantage for athletes. This seems like it would be especially true for female runners, where it seems like having large breasts would be a disadvantage.