Q&As

Basically, this girl I always had a crush on got knocked up by some random loser and now while she is pregnant she has been wanting to date me. Her parents want me to step up and "be a man"... so they don't have to help her take care of the baby for like the next 18 years and have her stay with them (she is not a piece of cake btw)...but the thing is I am not the dad. She said she wants me to be her boyfriend and for me to get a job and a place for her and me to live to help raise "our" kid.

My dad told me to tell her to go f herself and not to put my dreams to the side and that I am so young and just a kid myself and to NEVER ever in my entire life get involved with her. He said HER baby is NOT my responsibility and he will be heartbroken if I voluntarily take on this burden. He fully supports me going into the Corps. I told her I do not want to get involved with her. Her dad told me I am not a real man.

I(34M) filed for divorce after discovering my wife's(35F) affair with her co-worker. We have been married for 8 years and together for 12. She has been acting cold towards me since last March. There were other suspicious things, too. After some detective work(snooping actually), I came to learn she had been having an affair with her co-worker. It was first emotional and then it became physical.

I didn't confront her and just kept acting like everything is okay. We had protected sex, continued our date nights and activities during that time. I was collecting evidence and working with my attorney to complete the filing behind the scenes and financial things. That lasted for about 4 months and she was served last week. I closed our mutual credit cards, took my half from our joint account and was completely prepared while she wasn't. My full STD test also came clear. She broke down and tried talking to me but I acted as if I am indifferent. In reality, I've been crying secretly some nights since I discovered her affair and it hurts. I'll see it to the end.

I talked about it with few friends and some of them told me I should've at least let her know I was filing for divorce so she could be prepared.

Was what I did wrong?

As I am writing this, I am laying in bed with my mom. She’s helping me gather my thoughts for some other opinions.

I am f24 and my husband is m30. We’ve been together for three years and married for one. This is a throwaway account just in case.

About a week ago my husband and I got into an argument over his phone, which he had misplaced. I was in the shower when he lost it and when I came out he was throwing a fucking fit over it. He was like “where did you put it, have you seen it?” Angrily yelling and snapping.

I said I hadn’t touched it and I needed to get dressed. My husband was standing in the doorway looking behind the door so I couldn’t open it. I said “hello, move please?”

Apparently my tone was rude because my husband turned around and shoved me into the room. I was like okay you need to calm down, I can help you look but I gotta get dressed. He tells me to hurry up. I snap back “I’m not gonna hurry up, it isn’t my fucking fault!”

My husband turned around and hit me on my mouth with the back of his hand. It didn’t even really hurt but I was appalled.

He called it a “warning tap” because of “my attitude”. I left right then and there.

I called my mom and came over. I haven’t left. My brother took me over the next day to get a few things. My husband asked me if all this really necessary and I said yeah, it is when you abuse your wife.

He was so stricken that I called it “abuse”. He screamed at me for it. He said I can ruin his career if I use that word. I know that I can and I know that he didn’t even hurt me, but that’s how I feel. He sent me several texts threatening to divorce me if I use that word again, or try to hurt his career by saying it someone “important”. AITAH for saying this, potentially citing this, and potentially ruining his career?

I [17m] am really into collecting colognes. I have 30+ full sized bottles as well as 50+ smaller sample sized decants (1-3 ml decants). Some of this admittedly is Christmas/birthday presents from friends and family, but I also buy with my own money, trade bottles I do have for bottles I want, and have a cologne review tiktok page that's popular enough for some companies to send me free bottles, so I don't want to give the impression of being daddy's money.

Anyways, my brother brought his girlfriend over, and I was giving her a tour of the house. We went to my room, she asked why I had so many cologne bottles, and I essentially said I always enjoy smelling new scents and am never satisfied that I've found the best scent when there's ones out there that I haven't smelt.

She asked if I was a fuckboy, I said I don't think so, and asked why. She said based off of how I always felt the need to try out new colognes and could never settle with what I had being enough for me, I probably do the same with women.

This made me laugh, and I asked if she had taken her first psych class or something. She got offended and asked me why I was laughing, and I admitted that I just frankly thought that was a really stupid analogy to make and inanimate objects and living humans aren't the same.

AITA?

My wife (34F) and I (38M) are shopping for our first house. We both put together lists of needs, wants, and deal-breakers for our desired home. We both had similar lists in terms of needs and wants. Multiple bedrooms and good schools for when we have kids, fenced in yard for our dog, no major renovations needed, etc. I only had one real deal-breaker. I told her I would refuse to even put an offer in on a house that has an HOA.

My parents lived in an HOA when I was a teenager and I saw the amount of BS they had to go through all the time. There's no way I want to spend a huge amount of money and have to deal with that kind of thing for who knows how many years. The house could check every single box in our need and want list and I would still refuse to even try and buy it.

Well, our search has not been an easy one. We have been priced out of a lot of areas that we were hoping to live in. And the houses that are more within our budget are not exactly what we're looking for. We've toured dozens of houses. Had offers rejected. Had sellers try to get us into bidding wars. We've argued, disagreed, and fought. It's sucked.

Last week our realtor sent us a home that was just hitting the market. She was excited because she thought it was "exactly what we are looking for." My wife fell in love with the pictures and wanted to set up a tour. But as I was looking at the listing, I saw it has an HOA. I told my wife that I don't even want to go look at it since I don't want to put an offer in.

She decided to set up a tour with the realtor without me. She viewed the home without telling me about it, then came home and was all excited to submit an offer. She spent an entire evening trying to convince me that it's her "dream house" and that we need to submit an offer before it's too late. She said there's no harm in submitting an offer just to see what the sellers say.

I told her that she knows an HOA is my #1 deal-breaker and that I find it pretty upsetting that she would go behind my back and do this on her own and then try and convince me to compromise my stance. She tried to downplay how much of an impact an HOA would have on our lives and told me that "a little inconvenience from an HOA won't offset how much we enjoy our home."

But she's never lived in an HOA. She hasn't seen first-hand how nuts they can be and how stressful it can be for a homeowner. I reminded her that when we started looking, that we both agreed that this had to be a 2-yes decision. Meaning that if one of us vetoed a house for whatever reason, we wouldn't pursue it. And she knows that an HOA is my #1 veto reason.

She's now super pissed at me for vetoing her "dream house." She's telling me we will never find a house that checks so many of her wants and needs and that I should just let go of the HOA thing and submit an offer. I told her she's letting her frustration with the process cloud her judgement and she's taking it out on me.

I am in a wedding this fall and I sent a text to the bride letting her know I will have my boho braids in at that time and won’t need my hair done at the wedding. I also let her know I could style them however she wanted me to! I know some brides like hair up or half up and I am more than happy to do any style she wants.

She responded asking if I could wear my natural hair instead so that everyone can be uniform. I will be the only black bridesmaid at the wedding and feel like most styles will not be uniform by nature. My natural hair can be hard to manage at events that last all day and I didn’t want to be dealing with it. So I mentioned I would feel more comfortable in the braids.

She is currently not responding but is telling others she is upset and thinks I am making it all about me. I really tried to be there for her leading up, I planned her bachelorette party, helped set up for her bridal shower and have helped with random wedding tasks.

Wondering if I should just not get the braids since she is the bride and it is her day. Or keep my appointment and get them since that will make me feel more comfortable and I will style them however she wants.

Title

So, my (28F) sister (32F) is getting married in a few months, and what should be an exciting time has turned into a massive source of tension between us. For some context, my fiancé (29M) is an incredibly talented photographer. He’s done some professional work, but it’s more of a hobby for him now.

When my sister was planning her wedding, she mentioned wanting to hire a photographer, but when she found out how much it would cost, she started looking for alternatives. I suggested that she ask my fiancé if he’d be willing to help out. She seemed hesitant but eventually agreed, and they talked it over. He agreed to take some photos as a favor but made it clear that he wanted to enjoy the day as a guest, not work the entire event.

Fast forward to last week, and my sister sends out the final wedding itinerary to the bridal party and family. I noticed that my fiancé’s name is listed as “Assistant Photographer,” with a full schedule of shots he’s supposed to get throughout the day, including the ceremony, reception, and even some pre-wedding moments. She’s essentially turned him into an unpaid staff member without even asking him!

I was livid. I called my sister and told her that this was not what we agreed on, and she couldn’t just decide to give him a job on her wedding day. She got defensive and said that since he’s “so good at photography,” she assumed he’d want to help out more and that I was being unreasonable. She added that weddings are expensive, and she can’t afford to hire someone else, so he’s “doing the family a favor.”

I told her that if she was going to treat my fiancé like an employee, then neither of us would be attending the wedding. Now, my parents are furious with me, saying I’m overreacting and that I’m “ruining” my sister’s big day over something that should be a “non-issue.” They think my fiancé should just suck it up for the sake of family. Even my sister’s fiancé texted me, calling me selfish for “putting a silly title” over my sister’s happiness.

My fiancé is totally on my side and feels used, but now I’m starting to wonder if I’m being too harsh. AITA?

Edit: Based on some of the comments, I feel like I need to say that I didn't "offer" my fiancé's services, especially not for free. I suggested to my sister to talk to my fiancé to see if he'd want to help out because he had been saying he wanted to shoot something "serious". He's been really into photography lately so I thought it would be fun for him. But he didn't sign up to be a "Assistant Photographer" it was just supposed to be an opportunity for him and then he'd send my sister the pics. He was still going to be a guest but just taking some pictures

Edit 2: Idk why everyone keeps saying I "offered" my fiancé's services. My fiancé told me they talked and that's how I know what they agreed to. Also idk why everyone keeps commenting about my "boyfriend", he's my fiancé. It doesn't help to be told IATAH for offering my boyfriend's services when that isn't what happened at all

Last update: A lot of people are mentioned the assistant photographer thing like there is a main professional photographer. As I said in a comment, I think my sister just added "assistant" to justify not paying him. I only posted because my family is taking my sister's side and saying I'm being petty and ruining her big day, and I hate knowing I made them upset. My fiancé has been incredibly supportive through all of this, but I’m struggling with how to navigate this family drama.

So I live near to a small village with a village green. Its a quintessential English country village with a village green, a little pub, and is quite beautiful.

The one exception is the block of public toilets, that seem to have been transplanted from a dystopian nightmare nuclear wasteground. On the outside its a harsh concrete structure weathered by time, inside its dark, scary, dirty and stinky.

For quite some time, the council was trying to close them down for cost reasons, and did actually shut them for various periods but the result was a vast increase in public urination / pooping behind the toilet block. Now they are only open when sports are being played on the green to save money.

People have been and still are being fined for littering due to taking a piss on the outside of the closed toilet block.

I just don't get it! Absolutely everybody needs a piss from time to time, some people with bladder / IBS or similar conditions NEED ready access to toilets to function. It seems like a no-brainer to me that we should as a society provide facilities to fulfil such a basic human need. I think they are an essential service.

When I've visited other countries, its very variable. Some seem to do public toilets very well (they don't have to be horrible), others just don't bother at all and just accept public shitting.

I find it particularly bizarre that we both shut down the bogs - and penalise people for peeing on the floor - its got to come out somewhere!

I noticed that all of the top-level female athletes seem to have small breasts. This led me to question if having small breasts would be an advantage for athletes. This seems like it would be especially true for female runners, where it seems like having large breasts would be a disadvantage.

My grandma recently passed away and my mom is fighting everyone for the inheritance. Her reasoning on, “why she needs it more than me”, is that I make more money and it won’t be a big amount for me.. She wants me to pay her 12k of it to pay for my beauty school I went to a few years back, then she wants the other 3k because she wants to travel. I feel like paying her back for school is reasonable because she helped me even though she got a tax break, but it would be nice to put that 3k in a brokerage account and watch it grow. I know legally I don’t have to give her anything but, I don’t need the money and it might ruin my relationship with her.

Edit: My grandma left her a way bigger amount of money.

You are offered the opportunity to stop time for everyone but yourself. It will last 500 years and you cannot back out early. You will not age.

Things like moving vehicles will be stopped magically, but you will be able to startup engines and such and have them work normally. Planes and satellites will be frozen in air and will not fall and will continue their normal flight patterns after the 500 years, unless you purposefully interfere.

Any dangers that will result from something not being serviced for the time will be stabilised, e.g. nuclear power plants.

Weather will be paused so rain and snow will be motionless in air. The time of day will remain constant.

Food wont spoil and services (water, electricity) will continue to operate normally.

Physical changes can still occur to your body, so you can build muscle, get injured or even die.

There is an optional memory recall, which will allow you to remember things perfectly if you take it.

You have 24 hours to delay your decision, at the moment you accept, the 500 years will begin.

My wife (25f) and I (27m) have been married for 6 months and together for 7 years. My wife isn't close to her family (long story) and I had a pretty decent relationship with mine so when she graduated a year ago and we were ready to settle down, she wanted us to be near my family. They had met and things were okay so it seemed cool.

One thing I should mention is my family are more traditional, the women and men in the extended family mostly. My great grandma always believed that during family time women do the cooking and men should do their own thing, play outside, watch a game, something. My brothers and I know how to cook only because my dad, who married into the family with the traditional views, was not raised that way and knows how to cook. He was able to get us competent lol. I'm pretty good but not as good as someone who was taught more and earlier. But the traditional views were always weird to me and were not something I believed in ever. It was something I was upfront with my wife about when we were only dating.

My wife is an amazing cook. I will sing her praises every chance I get. She makes amazing food. She was super popular with her roommates and later our roommates in college when she'd agree to take on cooking duty. We both cook at home but I love every night she cooks.

The women in my family are jealous of this. Ever since we moved closer she was expected to join them in the kitchen. Her cooking got compliments from the family. The men didn't always realize it was her and would say they loved the changes made to a dish. As a direct result the female members of my family were being dicks to my wife and making comments about her not doing enough and being lazy but then trying to take over. My wife really wanted to be close to them so she tried so hard. But I hated seeing it and my dad couldn't get through to mom. So I told her she should step out of the kitchen and join us guys. She was hesitant to do so but had fun the first time and she fit right in and this pissed off the women in the family who told me I should be insisting she join them like she's supposed to. They said I should not "allow" her to skip cooking duty. I told them I encouraged her to stay with us since they were so unfair to her. I told them we could always skip seeing them if that would make them happier.

My wife feels bad. My dad joined me in telling her that the women are just being too hard on her and she doesn't deserve to be treated the way they were treating her. We talked about not attending and I enjoy being with the family less but she hopes it'll get better.

My mom confronted me alone and again told me I was wrong to "allow" this. I told my mom I love my wife and do not want her mistreated and excluded by my family. She said I'm not doing any favors hiding her from them. I told her they could try being nicer. She said I'm making this a bigger deal than it needs to be.

AITA?

Hi! 31F. Married to my college sweetheart for the last five years. We have a daughter who's three. The last few days have been incredibly difficult and painful for both me and my husband.

My husband has a best friend from college who he's incredibly close with. This friend is always there for my husband and even was in our wedding (more on that later). I also considered him a friend in college and enjoyed spending time with him because he's funny and also charming. But then I had an experience with him that caused me a lot of pain and also made me not like or trust him at all.

Basically my husband and this friend were in a fraternity together. One night there was a party at the house, and I got very intoxicated, so I went to my husband's room (he was my BF at the time) kind of early in the night and went to sleep. I won't go into too many details, but sometime in the evening, the friend (who was also very drunk) came into the room and did some very upsetting things to me. Luckily it didn't escalate to a full on rape, but he touched me under my PJs and also got on top of me and started grinding. I was crying, and telling him to stop, but he didn't seem to care at all that I was dating his best friend or, more importantly, that I told him no. The worst part was that during this experience, he said incredibly cruel things to me. For example, he called me an alcoholic and a whore.

The next morning I was sad and confused. At the time, I made a million excuses for him. I told myself I must have done something to give him the wrong idea (we were good friends at the time and spent a lot of time together), that was drunk and didn't know what he was doing, and even that he didn't rape me so it wasn't even that bad. I really can't pinpoint exactly why I did this, but I didn't tell my husband (or anyone) what happened at the time and I pretty much just moved on with my life as though it had never happened. I did protect myself by not sleeping over at the frat house anymore (this confused my husband) and also not hanging out with that friend alone anymore.

My husband continued being friends with this guy for years after this, so I occasionally saw him at events. My husband even invited him to be a groomsman in our wedding. I thought about telling my husband about my experience then, and I know I should have, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to do it. It makes no sense to me all these years later, but I think was ashamed and also in my way trying to protect my husband.

Anyways, this friend is unmarried, and goes on a lot of dates. A few days ago, my husband came home upset, and he told me the best friend was being accused of date rape. My husband couldn't believe his friend would do something like that, and started saying it must have been a misunderstanding or the girl wasn't being truthful. I told my husband I thought the best friend probably did it, and when he asked why, I broke down in tears and told him what happened years ago.

Needless to say, my husband was devastated. He responded as well as he could under the circumstances, and kept hugging me and saying he didn't understand how anyone could hurt me. He also wanted to drive me to the police station right then to make a report (did so the next day) and kept on saying he wanted to kill the guy. All night he was holding me and asking if I was okay, and I felt relieved that this huge secret was finally off my chest.

But the next day, once my husband had thought about it more, he asked why I hadn't told him sooner. He was upset that I let the friend be in our wedding and that I'd continued to see him over the years. My husband says that I put myself in danger and that he felt like an idiot hanging out with this person and letting him around his wife when he's a predator. I told him he was right, and that I didn't really have a good explanation other than my own shame over the situation and then the guilt of having kept it to myself for so many years. There were some tears and raised voices, and I don't think he really understands where I'm coming from. It's clear he's trying to support me in this but is also really upset I didn't tell him sooner and shaken that something else could have happened to me because of it. We keep going in circles about this, and I don't know how to resolve it.

Am I the asshole?

For context, I (15F) and my dad (35M) have had a really good relationship for the past year or two. We've always been close, but I've had a rocky relationship with my mum so he's been my main support system.

Currently, I'm on holiday with my grandparents, younger sister, my dad and his girlfriend (4 adults 2 kids including me) and I got my period. I have a really heavy flow but I'm not yet comfortable with using tampons/cups so I stick to pads. We were meant to be going to a water park but with me getting my period, I obviously couldn't go. Initially, my dad was fine with this and even suggested me and him doing gokarting together just us and my younger sister, his girlfriend and my grandparents could just go to the water park.

Then a few hours later I ask my dad about the gokarting and he said that my younger sister and his girlfriend wanted him to go to the water park so he's going there. I felt that that this was unfair considering they could just go by themselves otherwise I'll be stuck in the caravan all day when it's our last day on holiday. He then said that other people swim on their periods without tampons and his "female friends" (who I suspect is his gf) "with far more experience since they are older" use "paper towels" and I could go swimming if I wanted to I'm just choosing not to. I got upset by this because I was looking forward to doing something with him and I also felt like he was just making out that I'm just trying to be difficult.

I said the paper towel is a stupid idea and to that he shouted at me not to call him stupid and slammed the door in my face. I've been stuck in the caravan with my Nan the whole day. Me and my dad aren't talking because he said he doesn't want any more arguing. My Nan, mum and friends all agree that the paper towel was a stupid thing to say but I suspect his girlfriend was the one who suggested it in the first place so am I the asshole?

Edit: A lot of people are saying I'm making the holiday about me and shouldn't expect my dad to cancel. I didn't expect my dad to do anything, he offered to take me gokarting, saying he would prefer to do that over the water park anyway. If he didn't want to, that's totally fine. But if that was the case he shouldn't have waited to tell me that until 11pm/12am that night by which point it was far too late for me to do arrange anything else. Also, the only reason he chose to do the water park is because his girlfriend and my sister said they wouldn't go without him, despite the fact they still could have gone just them two.