Q&As

My sister has been married for 5 years. She has a 17 year old son and a 17 year old stepson in her home. The boys knew each other since kindergarten and they never got along. I remember my sister telling the rest of the family that she was called in and asked if she'd object to her son and "the other child" being buddied for a few weeks so they could work out their issues. Sister said that was fine. They tried for 7 weeks or something like that. They were seat pals, each other's helper and were given small "jobs" to do together to build a better dynamic and it failed. The whole time they were next to each other it was hell in the class. This dynamic did not let up. The two of them do not like each other, I personally do believe they truly hate each other.

Then my sister and her husband started a relationship. Prior to them moving in together and also prior to the wedding, many of us spoke to my sister about what a bad idea it seemed to be because the boys were not capable of getting along. She told us they'll have to once they're family and it'll do them some good. I asked her if she really believed that and if she really wanted to live in a house where two members do not want to see the other ever. She told me she loved her husband (then fiancé) too much to end things or hold off on marriage. She also told me she was going to convince her son to give her stepson a chance to be a friend if nothing else. That the kids clash in personality and they have some shared interests so they can work it out. She didn't like when our dad took her aside before the wedding and warned her it would end badly because of the boys.

My sister and her husband have a son together now. He's also caught in the middle of both of his half brothers hating each other. We all became a witness to just how much these two do not want to be near each other. We witnessed fights, glares, all kinds of things. My sister's stepson lost his shit on our great aunt for calling them brothers.

There was an incident a couple of weeks ago. My nephew lost a friend. He'd been sick for a while and sadly passed away just before his 17th birthday. My sister and her husband wanted all four of them to attend the funeral, with their son together going to our parents. Her stepson didn't want to go, said he didn't want to support my nephew and he didn't care. He thought it was funny as hell how upset my nephew was. Said he hated the dead kid too. While at the funeral my sister and her husband were sympathizing with the boys parents and expressed that both nephew and step-nephew said kind things about their son. They told my sister and her husband there was no way step-nephew said kind things about their son and he shouldn't have been there.

My sister said it was humiliating to realize other people are so aware of the bad blood. She then said we never warned her and I corrected her and said we did and she didn't listen. She told me we didn't try hard enough and how dare I say we did enough.

AITA?

My wife (26F) and I (27M) have been married for 2 years and together for 5. We are childfree. 

Ever since I got my first major job at 21, I have been contributing 15% of my paycheck to a savings account. I wanted to save up enough money to get a really nice functional prosthetic leg for my sister who’s an amputee and lost her leg when she was 16. She had been using wheelchairs, crutches, and a cosmetic leg.

When my wife (then girlfriend) and I were serious about marriage, I told her that I had been contributing 15% of my paycheck to this savings account, and I would always do it the rest of my life. My girlfriend told me she had no issues with it, and I was really happy about it. I proposed shortly after, and we then got married.

By last year, I had saved up enough money to buy the Ottobock C-Leg 4 Microprocessor knee, and also money for the physical therapy appointments. Basically, I didn’t want my sister to spend a dime. I let my sister know, and she felt extremely guilty about me spending this much money, but I insisted on it. And to say that was money spent well is an understatement. My sister is now very comfortable walking, biking, dancing, she goes on hikes, and it just makes me very happy.  She’s thanked me countless times over the past few months, and even cried many times. It’s the least I could do, I’ve always felt guilty that my sister lost her leg and not me.

My wife however, has an issue that I’m still contributing to the savings account even after buying my sister the prosthetic leg. I’ve reminded my wife multiple times that I would contribute to this account forever, as long as I’m getting a paycheck. The parts might need replacement every few years, or even the entire prosthetic knee. Me contributing to the savings account isn’t affecting the quality of our life. 

Last night, my wife again bought up me contributing to this savings account, and that my sister was taking me for granted. When my wife said that, I lost my cool, and called her extremely selfish and pathetic and then went and slept on the couch to cool myself down. I’ve never called my wife selfish, and I felt guilty about it this morning. When I woke my wife up this morning, after seeing me she started crying and apologized for what she said last night. I too apologized for calling her selfish.

Was I the AH for calling my wife selfish?

I recently had my first child. When we were discharged, the hospital sent us home with a “baby box.” It was a cute little box that can double as a bed and came with a mattress, some baby clothes and other essentials.

This caught me off guard because I live in the US. I thought this was only a thing in Finland. Turns out, the county I live in works with a charity that provides these boxes for all expecting moms.

I was pretty stoked about this, so I made a post on Instagram showing it off.

My stepmom messaged me and told me I should take down the post a few days later. She said it was in bad taste because a lot of new moms don’t get this perk. She pointed out that her daughter, my stepsister, has been very upset by this.

My stepsister did reach out, but her response was something like, “wow, I had my son, all the hospital sent me was some maxi pads and a bill. :angryfaceemoji:”

I didn’t down the post because I want to highlight the work that charity was doing. Especially for women in my area who may not be aware of the baby boxes and could really need it.

My stepsister sent me a DM telling me to take the post down. She said it’s unfair she has to struggle with a special needs baby while the other moms can gloat about how being a new mom is awesome. She said that she never got a free box or clothes or perfume like my cousin and everyone stopped caring one she had her son while me, my cousin and all our other relatives “get all the attention.”

Right now, I’m leaning towards keeping the post up. I don’t live in the same state as my stepfamily but am aware of social programs designed to help parents with special needs kids. That or my stepsister get help or get counseling. But maybe that’s not the best move. AITA?

I just need an outside opinion because the lack of sleep is affecting my judgement making.

Okay so this happened last week and honestly I’m still kinda holding a grudge over it, and need to know if I was and am being too dramatic.

So me and my husband (f25 and m31) have been married for only about six months. Prior to getting married, like when we were dating and such, I was the pill. Due to stress during the wedding planning and some other health things, I stopped taking it and we were strictly using condoms.

My husband complained about this and honestly I could understand. We chanced it a few times (especially during the honeymoon) but obviously that is not safe nor do we want kids right now so I was like I’m gonna get back on the pill.

My husband for some reason got it in his head that he wanted me to have an IUD. Idk why he was like so adamant on this but he said it like 10 times before my appointment, in which I was just going to get back on the pill. Eventually he asked me enough times to think about it that it forced me to google it and consider it. The only problem is it’s technically a procedure- and I am horrible with medical stuff and doctors and pain. My blood pressure is high just sitting in the waiting room and I cannot take pain. I broke my foot last year and my husband said it was the most dramatic he’s ever seen someone with a broken bone lol. But still I considered it for him.

So I talked to my doctor about the IUD and she told me it’s a good birth control option, if I wanted to do it. I told her honestly that I am not good with pain or doctors (which she knows, I’ve been seeing her since I was a teenager) but she was very kind about it. We talked a lot at the appointment and I was comfortable to come back for it. She told me the whole ordeal- she gives me meds to take 1-2 hours before, she personally gives her patients a local med to reduce pain, and then she doesn’t suggest driving yourself home. She also told me to expect cramping for a few hours after but she said in her opinion if you’re able to fall asleep at home, you can sleep through the worst of it. She really reassured me so I went through with it.

So day of I do everything I’m supposed to do. Before me and my husband left I set myself up a nap area in our living room where I like to lay. I had my water, heating pad, the meds she suggested, even a snack, all of it set all up. I put my pjs on the bed in our bedroom. I was really trying to make myself calm lol. I went and got the IUD and it went well, it wasn’t bad at all.

When I came out my husband was there looking very impatient. We left and he was huffing and puffing the whole time about “how long” it took. I was like okay buddy whatever. When we got home I walked in ready to get into my pjs and nap and literally everything i had set up for myself, was put away.

My pjs? in the dirty laundry even though they were. Water? Poured out in the sink. Meds? Put back away in the mess of a medicine cabinet. Snack? Thrown away. He even folded up my blanket and put it away. I was so aggravated with him and he didn’t even help me. He apologized and said he thought I left it all out from the night before.

I didn’t even know he left while I was in the appointment, I thought he was waiting there the whole time for me. But no- went home just to touch all my stuff. It made me so bad. I just got it all back out and took my nap. Again, he didn’t even help just said “oh sorry”.

Then like an hour later, right in the prime of the cramping, he literally wakes me up to ask me what I wanted for dinner. I was livid. I could not get back to sleep in that pain anymore, even though like my dr said, I probably would have slept through it. I ended up snapping and yelling at him to leave me alone to which he responded by giving me the “okay stop being crazy” look.

And then he proceeded to order dinner from a place I don’t fucking like. That excuse was “oh well I thought you weren’t gonna eat because you were so mad and yelled”. Like omfg.

I am still literally holding a grudge about all of this, mostly because I feel like he did not take into account my discomfort or pain when he it literally the one who begged me to go through with it. I know that he didn't technically do anything wrong, he tried to clean cause he thought it was a mess I left out from the night before, and he tried to order dinner because he knew I wouldn't make it. But he did it in the worst ways possible. So AITAH for being mad?

Im sorry for the long one, but I am absolutely DUMBFOUNDED. A little bit of backstory. I (23F) have been married to my husband (23M) for 4.5 years now. We own our own place. My high school friend, let’s call her “Amy” (21F) recently moved in with us about a month ago due to bad living situations with her family. She has a toddler who is also my God Son. She said she would be here for about a month.

“Amy” is not independent at all, and is still living out her immature streak. She doesn’t buy her own groceries (I.e. food, laundry detergent, TP, Tampons, etc.) so she has been using my husband and I’s stuff. Which, in this economy, has kind of been affecting us financially. I have tried to calmly bring it up, but I HATE confrontation and am just a plain doormat. My husband and I have been arguing a lot lately due to this. “Amy” is barely home, as she is usually out at bars or sleeping at/with other guys.

My husband and I recently noticed that small items were moved around in our room, our bedroom door has been left open (we always leave it closed for multiple reason, most of which don’t pertain to her specifically, mainly safety), hygiene items are missing out of our bathroom, and pretty much just the house is left a mess. We are very clean people, and like to keep our house a certain way. We understand having a kid makes that hard, so we are lenient in some things.

So…. My husband installed a camera in the kitchen that can see our bedroom door. We did not tell “Amy” since… well it’s our house and we wanted to see why things were in disarray. We notice everyday she is home, she goes into our bedroom, however, we can’t see exactly what she is doing due to the angle of the camera. I have brought up to her that our bedroom door has been left open, and each time she responds “idk how, I didn’t go into your room” or “oh it was already open this morning”. So I know she lies straight to my face.

Now to the main point of this story. Today, my husband calls me and asks if I had her go into the room for any reason and if I asked for her to get something out of my nightstand. I said no. Then he tells me to go check the camera. I do, and it shows her going into the bedroom, over to my nightstand then back out. She was in for less than 4 seconds. Didn’t look around, only cracked the door enough for her to fit through. Opened the drawer (you could hear it clear as day on the camera, and it’s a very unique sound as they are old solid oak nightstands with no sliders). Then walked out with something under her shirt. She knew exactly where she was going and what she was going to get (like she had done it before). I immediately got mad and assumed she stole the cash that I had in there, but knew I’d have to wait to get home after work to check. 15minutes later, my husband calls again and says “go look at the fu***** camera”. And what do I see. Her rinsing my vibrator in the kitchen sink, drying it with the hand towel, then going back in the room to put it away.

I am completely disgusted, astonished, violated… just no worlds. And what can make it worse? Just yesterday, she tested positive for a vaginal bacterial infection and was given antibiotics….. I have no idea how many times she has done this, since she has been living with us for a month, and we only put the camera in a couple of days ago. I just got done at Urgent Care to get tests, I should know the results in a few days.

Anyway…. I am at a loss because I don’t want her to be in the streets, but she’s 100% lost my trust forever. Furthermore she’s jeopardized my health, my husbands health, our relationship, and proven to be completely mentally immature. I’m entirely sickened by the whole situation. I need to kick her out, but I don’t know how to go about doing that. She has my God son…. But I don’t know how I can’t ever have a normal friendship with her again…. Please, any advice!?!?!?

Note: I am a doormat, I hate confrontation. We also don’t want her to know about the camera.

I've seen so many horror stories where someone gets sick or is in pain, thinking they know what's causing it only to find out they have late stage cancer. I don't understand.....wouldn't insurance companies want to offer this like they would a free yearly physical as it would be cheaper for them than paying out cancer treatments? Wouldn't doctors want to push they're patients to have this service done?

So basically am I the ah for getting mad at my husband and calling him an ah?

We met a few years back and I have felt nothing but love from this man. We got married in the beginning of this year and I don’t know. Something shifted. We both work 9-5. We both can cook and I guess I was expecting more equal division of chores etc. we have lived together for 4 years and nothing was wrong. I am a bit more pedantic and organized and gladly took more of the chores because I want the apartment clean all the time and I wouldn’t expect him to share my pedantry. When we got married we moved to a much larger apartment.

But now he expects me to do 100% of every and I have told him that I wasn’t happy with this multiple times but he either promises to do more or just tells me that I was the one who changed after marriage. Today he was very irritated that I brought up this topic again and he told me to stop nagging him and just do my job and obey him. And ** would you have done the same if you have married a middle eastern man?** He is white. I was confused but apparently if I had married a middle eastern guy I would have done all of these things without complaining but I am only doing it now because he is not.

First he is wrong. I am not traditional and even if I was married to a Middle Eastern man, I would have chosen someone who had my beliefs and there are plenty of middle eastern modern men out there especially living in Europe and second generation like me. Almost all the people I know are like me because we basically choose people who are like us and second he is not middle eastern. I got very upset and asked him if this was the reason he married me because he sure changed after marriage. He called me ridiculous. I called him AH. He said it was unfair that I called him that

Not my main account posting for some perspective as I know I can’t get impartial opinions from people close to me for reasons irrelevant to this post .

I’m 40f engaged to 49m we have been engaged for almost a year now but have been together for 7 years. The reasons why we haven’t been engaged sooner is that we live in different countries we both have kids from previous marriages I have one child 18f going to her second year in college and he has two kids 22f and 20m. I didn’t want to uproot my daughter and take her away from her life and friends and for him moving to my country meant that he won’t be around his kids growing up . When I met him he was legally separated from his ex wife but the divorce was finalized three years ago. For the past 7 years we have had a very strong relationship I love my fiancé and I know he loves me even more . We would visit regularly and he usually stayed for extended periods over the summer. He has been my best friend for the last 7 years . Last year my daughter decided to go to college in a European country , his daughter got engaged and moved to a different state and his son while still living with him proposed to his gf and planned their wedding to be this summer.

Last summer we talked about finally getting together and we both decided that I will be moving to his country and for me it was the leap of faith to leave everything behind and be with him somewhere where I don’t know anyone or anything but he was worth it . Last summer he was staying with me for 5 weeks we invited his kids for the first time to stay for 2 weeks with us . I did my best to make them feel welcome basically did nothing other than entertaining them . There were few things didn’t set well with me but I didn’t share with my fiancé , his DIL had made some few rude comments she came across as a controlling person and the son was a bit of a pushover but it wasn’t any of my business anyway. During their visit his son and dil invited me to their wedding this summer and i accepted their invite just out of courtesy tbh.

Between then and now i have asked my fiancé multiple times to confirm the invitation with the bride and groom and I told him that there are no reasons for them to feel obligated to invite me as I understand that it can be awkward for other family members specially the ex wife.

For the time of the wedding I flew to meet my fiancé , the wedding was in the bride’s home state so we booked a hotel near the venue. On the day of the wedding I was so nervous about the reception showing up to an event where I know no one other than my fiancés close friend . I understood that my fiancé as the father of the groom will have responsibilities that would probably keep him busy. After the ceremony we went to the reception i was seated on the same table as my fiancés friend I haven’t left the table as it was discussed beforehand between myself and my fiancé that any introductions to the extended family will be arranged after the wedding as a separate occasion . It had started to catch my attention that my fiancé was having a conversation with his ex wife on the side then his son and dil joined the conversation for a couple of minutes before returning to their table.

My fiancé came to me asking to talk outside where he said that emotions are running high and people are just stressed and he thinks it’s wiser if I got back to the hotel. I didn’t understand at first I even asked why he decided that we should leave this early and he said that his friend is driving me back and he will follow after a while and that’s when I actually realized I was being asked to leave. He said that the bride thinks my presence is taking a lot of attention and his ex wife who knew I was invited suddenly felt she can’t handle me attending her son’s wedding . I asked what did I do wrong I haven’t even left the table where I was seated I wasn’t arguing with him wanting to stay at the wedding because at this point there was nothing that would make me go back inside I just wanted to understand. My fiancé was actually in tears at this point asking me to understand the difficult situation he is in and I told him to go back inside as I was disgusted looking at him . His friend came out asked my fiancé to go back inside and he took me to the hotel where I asked him to wait in the lobby for me as I was packing my things to move to a different hotel.

After the wedding my fiancé called me and I agreed to meet him just to tell him that we were done and I’m going back home the next day . He was very emotional asking me to stay and to try to work things out but I was so angry for being humiliated and for him not standing up for me . I did leave the next day and it was the most miserable flight I have ever taken .

Few days after , my fiancé was at my door . I let him in and we did talk he begged me for another chance saying he would do anything . I was still angry but I had it in me to tell him that I will think about it. Next morning I sat him down and I told him that I was willing to give our relationship another chance but I have certain conditions and he immediately said he would do anything. My first condition was that he will be the one moving to my country and that his son and dil will never be welcome in my home again. He can contact them and visit as much as he wants but not in my home or in presence . He told he was expecting my first condition but the second one seems very cruel and he is heartbroken that I want to punish him in such way and I should be more forgiving towards the kids as they are just so young . I’m not trying to punish him I’m just refusing to have anything to do with people that deliberately insulted me while I have been nothing but respectful and accommodating to them.

Edit: Ok living on the other side of the hemisphere, woke up to find so many replies i tried to read as much as i can and I think to clear some details that had been mentioned a lot .

First of all although I’m not in a good place with my fiancé now I don’t think he is that horrible person everyone is making him out to be “ the support feels good though”. One of things that we bonded over for all of these years is our unconditional love for our kids . I was widowed when my daughter was 6 years old and she has been my number one priority ever since and that was one of the reasons he was doing most of traveling to see us .

I know for a fact that he was not cheating or keeping me as mistress , he was so open about our relationship even posting about us on his social media . The reason to why the divorce was delayed for years even after separation was to my understanding had to do with keeping the ex wife on his medical insurance as she was having a series of surgical procedures.

I didn’t get to meet extended family before as they didn’t all live in the same state and traveling to see cousins or distant relatives wasn’t a priority to us with the already limited time that we had together.

There was one smart observation in the replies that I have read and maybe it was an important detail to explain why I stood out in the wedding , I’m of a different ethnicity than most if not all of the people that was in the wedding. The ex wife , the son and the dil are very religious and I’m not even Christian and I know they had a problem with my fiancé marrying non Christian.

Family and I went out to a nice uptown restaurant yesterday. The food was okay nothing exciting, but the service was great from a young man.

Went it came time to pay the bill, there was a discretionary 13% service charge added (£35 ish), I ask the waiter who will this be going to and he replied with "the restaurant". I asked again unless he misheard but gave the same response. I therefore kindly requested for it to be removed from the bill. There wasn't much fuss but I did not find it worth paying extra if it's not going to the staff. The floor manager did give a rather tainted look on our way out.

Edit: For those asking, yes I did tip cash to the young man instead.

I (29F) come from a very close-knit family. Every year, we have a big family reunion where everyone gathers at our grandparents' farm for a week of fun, bonding, and a massive feast on the last night. This feast is a big deal—it’s a traditional barbecue with recipes passed down through generations.

This year, my younger sister (24F) announced that she's become vegan. While I respect her choices, she insisted that the entire feast be vegan to accommodate her. My grandparents, who are in their late 70s, have been preparing for this reunion for months, planning all the usual dishes. They were confused and hurt when my sister demanded they change everything.

I tried to find a compromise by suggesting we have a few vegan dishes alongside the traditional ones. But my sister said that wasn't good enough and that having non-vegan food at the table would make her uncomfortable and ruin her experience.

Things got heated, and I told her that while her new lifestyle is important, it's unfair to expect the whole family to change a cherished tradition for her. I suggested she could bring her own vegan dishes if she felt that strongly about it. She called me selfish and said I was undermining her beliefs.

Now, my parents are torn, and the reunion is in jeopardy. Half the family thinks I'm being reasonable, while the other half believes we should support my sister's new choices.

AITA for telling my sister she's ruining our family tradition by being vegan?

First

So I had a talk with my husband.

To clear a few things

1. My husband wants to spend as much time with his son as possible, he even mentioned wanting half custody, and have him live with us. So it's not like he wants to spend "a day or two" with him. He wants to be as close to a full time parent as he possibly can.

2. Yes, our vows included being child free. It wasn't in wedding speech, but we had several long conversations about kids. This was something we promised each other, so yes. Being child free was part of our vows.

3. I don't like children and I don't want to have anything to do with raising children, but it's not like I yell at every kid I see. I guess you can say I "hate" the responsibility of raising a child, as opposed to hating children themselves.

4. Yes, I would stay with my husband if he got in an accident and became disabled. See, I love and adore my husband, and I'm willing to work for him, but only for him. Adding a whole other person to our lives is different. I CAN'T love his kid. I CAN'T be a good step mom. I LOVE my husband, but I don't love his kid.

Now, back to my husband.

He almost blew me off again because he was tired from working and spending time with his son.

But I insisted, and I told him I don't want to live like this. We talked, and he said he can't leave his kid, and that is the one thing he can't compromise on. He said he's gonna see him as much as he can, and he said that he needs to prioritize his kid's well being over anything else, our relationship included.

I told him I don't want to live like that, he said he won't budge on this.

We both agreed that we should seperate for a while. Neither of us straight up mentioned "divorce" but I'm pretty sure that's where we're headed.

I feel empty, and angry, and frustrated. I know my husband isn't at fault, I know the kid isn't at fault, but my life is just changing so much.

Me and my husband have been together for nine years, married for five. We are now f29 and m30 but we started dating when we were 20 and 21.

Over these last nine years he has been my best friend, my biggest supporter, and the best person I could’ve ever asked for. We have a beautiful marriage and three beautiful children (triplets!). Our life is amazing.

However my husband and I recently fought over something that happened 9 years ago.

Basically, when we had only been dating for 6 months, I accidentally got pregnant while i was on the pill. It was shocking and jarring and confusing and the first thing I did was tell my mom, cause I still lived with her at the time.

I had no idea what to do. We were both broke (I was a year out from graduating college, he was just starting in the electrical industry), young, inexperienced, and barely capable of raising a baby. My mom calmed me down enough to call him, ask him to come over, and I told him. I still remember that look on his face- he was shocked, then scared, then the briefest fleet of happy, and then back to scared. I just cried.

I ended up being only 3 weeks at that point. Me and him and my mom talked a lot and we all eventually decided that we would have the baby. We didn’t tell anyone- not even our friends cause we were so scared. We secretly took pictures and I hid my bump for 19 weeks. And then we lost the baby. I had to go through surgical removal of the fetus. He had to watch me sob everyday for a year.

We never had another scare like that, ever again because we were so traumatized. My mom and his mom were the only reasons I got through it honestly. I still can’t believe I did it at only 20- I don’t think I could do it now at almost 30.

Anyway so by happenstance, our triplets share their birthday with the day that that baby was surgically removed from my body. I didn’t even realize it until my husband pointed it out.

Now, every single one of their birthdays (there has been 3 now) my husband talks and talks and talks about that baby, and how much he would’ve loved him. Our triplets are all girls. He talks about his boy all the time. He would be 9 now. My husband does it in front of the girls even, and now they’ve started to ask questions. They’re too young to know or even understand so I finally just asked my husband to stop.

First of all, it’s so painful for me to remember. Second of all, I don’t ever want my girls to think that they are a “replacement” for the first baby we would’ve had, because they aren’t. And third I don’t want them to ever think that daddy wants a boy more than them. Their birthday was Sunday and it’s all I heard from him. It broke my heart on so many levels. Was I wrong to tell him that?

My (29M) boys and I are going to a college football game this fall, Oklahoma at Ole Miss. There are 6 of us going and its proving to be an expensive trip. We are all meeting up in Memphis from where we live. I'm in LA. This is a 4 day, 3 night trip. Tickets, Lodging, Tailgates, Flights, Fund for bar hopping are some of our expenses. Going to an SEC game costs a lot of money. We've all locked in nearly everything. This has been planned since the schedules were finalized earlier this year.

My wife is 3 months pregnant, now that we have a child on the way, money has become a concern for her. Her being pregnant is a bit of a surprise, but not shocking. We weren't using protection and took an approach of if it happens, it happens. I feel comfortable with our finances, she doesn't. She's brought up remodeling a bedroom, hospital bills, and numerous other baby related costs. She is right, its expensive, but I have no qualms about where we are financially.

She has asked me to cancel my trip. I've told her I won't do that. She was supposed to go to Taylor Swift in London in a few weeks and canceled that trip to save money. I didn't ask her to do that and encouraged her to still go. She is pissed that I won't cancel the trip and that I won't sacrifice for our family. We've had several arguments about this. She will be 6 months pregnant so there is no concern about me missing the birth. At times the tension and stress is a lot. The last thing I want to do is stress her out, but AITA?

Older sister (41f) is getting married to her partner of 3ish years in a month. Older sister and her partner both have children. My sister has a 14 year old boy and 10 year old girl. Her partner has a 14 year old girl, 13 year old boy and 11 year old girl. The relationship is controversial.

My nephew (14) has been having trouble with the 14 year old girl since the third grade and this actually escalated when they were doing virtual classrooms. She would write a lot of insults about my nephew and used the voice feature to target my nephew. But still my sister and her partner started a romantic relationship and even moved in together. My nephew expressed a lot of unhappiness about this. So did his grandparents (bio father's parents, he's not involved but they were always very generous in helping my sister with my nephew). My sister stopped all contact with the paternal grandparents as a result of them speaking up.

When my sister and her partner got engaged my nephew didn't take it well. There was a public scene where he told everyone present that she was marrying his bullies dad and didn't give a shit about him. My sister was furious. Nephew was devastated that his mom was marrying her partner even knowing how he'd feel.

My sister didn't want to hear from anyone, including me, that it was a bad idea and she risked losing her son. She told me he didn't get to dictate her life and they'd deal with the bullying but he was being unreasonable about everything. I told her my nephew deserved space away from the girl and she told me he can't pick his family and siblings fight sometimes.

Two months ago my nephew ran away. He was gone for 2.5 weeks and we were searching everywhere. He'd wanted to go to his grandparents but worried they'd get into trouble. CPS intervened when he was found and my nephew was removed from my sister's home and was given a placement with his grandparents, which was his first choice. I talked to him since and he said he was glad he was removed. He said he had been prepared to keep running away and he told the social worker that and more. We're in touch frequently and I get to visit him. My sister could visit but my nephew doesn't want to see her. But she's proceeding with everything like normal. We fought over her picking the relationship over nephew. She told me I'll never understand.

My invite came in the middle of all this and I RSVP'd no. I made it clear I would not attend this wedding after everything that's happened. My sister and parents told me I should put aside the family troubles and attend or risk the relationship forever. I told them I stand by my nephew over my sister.

AITA?

My husband passed away almost three years ago leaving me a solo mom of an 8 year-old. I've learned a lot about who he really was since then. Let's just say that if he were alive, we wouldn't still be married. About six weeks ago, a process server showed up trying to serve him with a court order to submit DNA for a kid. I gave him a copy of the death certificate and sent him on his way.

Shortly after that, a woman shows up on my doorstep saying that the kid she had with her was my late husband's child. Is it? I don't know and I don't care. It kind of looks like him, but also looks young enough that they would have had to have been conceived very, very shortly before his death. I told her that he was gone and where she could find his grave. She almost immediately started demanding "her half" of his estate. I laughed and told her that half of nothing was nothing and she was welcome to that.

Where I've been informed that I might be TA is that while it's true there was no estate, there were assets that passed outside of probate. One of those assets was a rental property that his parents gave us years ago, deeded with him and I as joint tenant with rights of survivorship. In short, it became mine when he died. I've already sold it and that will be the money that sends my kid to college. Legally, I'm good (already talked to my attorney about this). While I feel bad for this child, I also have a child of my own to look out for.

I'm going to edit this to answer a few questions that I've gotten.

No, there was no will in place for him. In my state, intestate inheritance laws say that if the only heirs are me and my child then the first $50k of the estate go to me and my child gets half of what's left. If this does turn out to be his child then half of the estate would go to me and half to the children (i.e. my child would get 25% and the other child would get 25%). However, that is a moot point because his estate was literally an empty bank account and $40 in cash. Everything else passed outside of probate. A good estate attorney is worth every penny even if I never could get him to meet with her to do his damn will.

There was no life insurance.

Yes, I'm in the US and my child is receiving survivor's benefits. They aren't huge, but they do pay for the therapy bills. He hadn't worked for a vast majority of our marriage, but luckily did have enough credits to qualify. At this point, I'm not opposed to helping the other child receive the same benefits since it won't affect mine, however my attorney has recommended to hold off at this time because we don't know what she's planning. She assures me that if the other mother files with social security that they will backdate any payments to at least the date filed, so holding off won't affect the total amount if it does turn out to be his child.

I have no idea if she knew he was married at the time or not.

My husband's parents are alive, but our relationship is strained, at best. I haven't told them about any of this and have done my best to let them keep believing that their son was a saint.

I set my best friend up (24F) with my husband’s coworker (30M). Both attractive people. Things were going well, until they had sex. Afterwards, he ghosted her. My husband’s coworker told my husband that she has a stinky coochie. Like bad. I never told her because I felt like she would feel extremely embarrassed.

She recently had another situationship who ghosted her after intercourse. She feels confused and doesn’t know why she keeps getting ghosted.

As her friend, in the back of my mind I know why, I just don’t know how to tell her.

Does anyone have any advice on how I go about this?