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I 25F recently found out that my ex 30M had been cheating on me for months. Completely biased but it was and truly has been the worst situation I have ever been in. We had been shopping for rings, planning on buying a family home and planning pregnancies, all while he was saying "I love you" to another woman.

For months now, I have been gaslit into believing that I was insane, jealous, manipulative, controlling and every name under the sun. When I found out that they were using my shame, my spiralling mental health and essentially torturing me for their foreplay, I snapped. I told all his friends and family that he had cheated on me and the relationship is over. He claims I had no right to do that and I need to stop before someone (namely his mistress) gets hurt. His mistress is engaged to be married within a month and he believes that my telling the fiance will lead to the mistress being hurt or possibly dead. Finding out about this affair has truly broken me and hurt me in ways I don't know I'll ever get over, but I still think the fiance should know.

Am I just blinded by my hurt? Maybe. My experience has lead me to not trust myself and any of my thoughts so someone please be my missing voice of reason.

To start off I just recently started listening to your podcast and I started from the very beginning. I am now on episode 60 something and I love the content.

So for my story I am no divorced and all of this happened about a year ago. So Me 35m told my now Ex-wife 35f I would divorce her if she moved out and she thought I was bluffing. For back story leading up to this, I was with her for a total of 14 years married for 12 of them. I am not saying our relationship was perfect, as any other relationship their were hardships (there was never any cheating up to this pointor at least I hope, just normal life situations) but I always thought we would deal with them together.

So back in September 2022, I was involved in a high speed accident with a garbage truck. I fortunately wasn't severely injured from it but I have been struggling with severe back pain to the point where it prevents me from working ever since. I did try to return to work(I am HVAC tech) after 3 months later and it didn't go well and my doctor took me off and then started a very lengthy journey of trying to find a treatment plan that will help me get back to work.

Then in May 2023 I needed emergency surgery when my appendix ruptured. I woke her up to take me to the hospital and she gave me some attitude about it. She then decided to fix her hair and makeup before we left. And she also refused to drive, so I drove myself to the hospital with her in the passenger seat. After the surgery the hospital wanted to keep me overnight for observation because they found infection around my appendix. I asked her if she could stay with me at the hospital and if she could take a few days off to help me with anything I might need. She refused to both. At the time I didn't really think too much about because I was too focused on everything that has been going on.

Fast forward to June she made a joke or I thought about how she back paid and now she can leave, so I joking said back Don't let the door hit you on the way out. She snapped at me and said how she feels trapped and very stressed out. I acknowledge that she has the right to feel that way because of me unable to work (also to note I applied for financial help for mortgage and utilities. So she was able to pay all bills after two weeks of pay). She then told me she would spend the night with a friend from work to talk about her feelings and I said go ahead of it will help us get past this. Then she told me she was supposed to go out for dinner for her birthday with a girl from work and she refused to spend it with me. The next day I found out it was actually a guy she was supposed to have dinner with.

We had a bad argument and I went to my mom's told cool off and try to figure things out. After a few hours I went to get some clothes and go to a friend's house to clear my head and have some space. When she saw me do this, she went off on me and accused me of giving up on the marriage. We argued back and forth but after a few days I decided 14 years was too much time to left something like this end the marriage. We decided to try and work on us for at least 6 months before we make a decision.

Only 4 weeks later I found out she had been looking for apartments the whole time. She then told me that her having her space could save us, I told her I don't understand how a year lease would save anything and how does she expect me to pay bills since I am unable to work. I told her if she moves out I will file for divorce. She found an apartment she liked and applied for it and was approved. At this time to apartment wouldn't be ready for two weeks. During this I did something I am not proud of, I just felt uneasy about everything that is happening and I had suspicion that she was hiding something about why she wants to move out. So yes I went through her apple watch with at the house while she was at work. I ended finding out that she had been talking to some guy for at least 4-5 months and when I looked at it a text was sent from her to him saying, she wanted him bad and when and where can they can hook up. When I confronted her about this and she just claimed it was a joke but when I said that's messed up, she then said because I'm not giving her any she has to get it from some where( she would turn me down every time I tried to initiate any with her for the last 4-5 months).

Aug 2023 she moved into her apartment. Two weeks later told her that I am filing for divorce and she just I was just bluffing about that. Fortunately with us not having any children the divorce was very quick and was finalized dec 2023. There was a lot more gas lighting and other crazy stuff that happened. I wanted to tell my story and just say that no matter what your going through, if someone is mistreating or taking advantage of you, don't be afraid to leave. No one deserves to be walked all over on.

I am willing to give an update on how I am doing now if anyone is interested. Thank you to everyone who has been on Two Hot Takes. I have enjoyed the content and it makes my day better. 😊😊😊

Edit: So I now understand that the more details the better, I was trying to avoid writing a small novel but leaving details might seem shady sometimes. I would try to help out around the house as much as I could. I was able to do all the cooking and was able to sometimes do the laundry. I also would pack her lunch from any leftovers from dinner for the next day.

I am in no way saying my ex is a horrible, heartless person, just someone who made some horrible decisions and possibly listening to advice from the wrong people. The two weeks leading up to her moving out, we had a lot of fights and I was being referred to as a broken person because of my injuries and pain. I did help her move out, mainly because she had no one else and I felt that it could give me some sort of closure moving her belongings out.

The next few months was getting the paperwork for the divorce (dissolution with no children to be more accurate) properly filed out. The agreement was she keeps what's hers and I keep what's mine.

In October 2023 she ended up in a car accident that totaled her car. She seemed to be ok, she didn't go to the hospital. She asked to borrow my car for work but I said no then she said I needed to take her back and forth to work. I also said no to this, I told her I wouldn't be able because of conflicting schedules with my physical therapy and doctor visits. She said that's not her problem, so I got upset by that and told her she isn't my problem anymore.

There wasn't much communication after until I saw her the day of the divorce which was in dec. There has been little communication since just mainly trying to get her to change her address. Now I just send her mail back to sender. As far as me and her go, there nothing else to say. We don't talk or have seen each other at all.

Now for people wondering how I'm doing now. Physically, I have been getting better slowly, I just had a procedure that numbed the nerves in my lower back to help manage the pain. Hopefully this will help me get back to somewhat normal activities or life.

I am in a new relationship, when the new year started I thought I would try and go on a few dates to see how things felt and also just get out of the house. Nothing to special at first, no one night stand just not interested in those. Obviously most of them wanted someone who was in a better situation and I understand that and there's nothing wrong with it. It was weird to date again because it's been so long but I did feel like I felt a connection with someone I would be ok with a new relationship. But after a few first dates I was just going to focus on my recovery and other things before after a few dates. My last date I was going to go on, I ended up meeting a woman that was very expecting of everything I went through and was going through. I enjoyed her company and hung out quite a bit the next couple weeks. I was completely honest with her about everything and she found it refreshing and said that's what attracted her to him in the first place. We have been seing each since late Jan, I knew it might have been too soon to date again but I am happy and very hopeful for what the future might be. I definitely am more aware of things I need to be concerned about and I'm very persistent on being honest and open with her about everything and she is doing the same with me. I am sorry if I have written too much but I'm trying to give as much details as I can.

it was really funny and i think you guys will like it a lot

the timeline for release is still a ways away cause we gotta shoot 3 more eps, probably in the next two weeks, and get them edited and hot and ready but i am very excited and i usually am not excited about stuff

goon commander out 🫡

I used to have a 2-4week backlog of stuff I listen to consistently for at lest 10 years, but recently I've totally 'caught up' and have been listening to old episodes to fill the void.

A lot of my faves have shut down, and I've had to cut others out because the quality has gone down.

I've posted for some recommendations, but they just don't fit the style of what appeals to me, well produced, story driven narratives.

Not a fan of 'two people talking' dragging out 10 minutes of content into 40. Talk radio usually falls into this category.

2024, and it really feels like the podcast landscape has really shifted.

Gosh I loved this show and the opening music + zumwalt combo would get me so hyped we had a newborn this spring and I’d be up at 3, 4 am listening to the heroes ugh so many good drops and bits i just loved it 🥹

The third Deadpool movie has a new villain and guess what she is bald and a woman. I guess it’s no surprise but it is sick to see the evilness of bald people still being pushed in the media

My bf (m 23) has a girl best friend who’s lovely and I don’t have an issue with except when I’m with both of them they just talk about inside jokes and old stories (which is difficult to join in with so I’m left feeling like a third wheel).

Also me and my boyfriend are long distance (2 hour drive ) and when I met up with both of them my bf was very distant and i didn’t even get a hug goodbye later on he apologised saying that he didn’t want to annoy he’s girl best friend because she doesn’t like PDA . This annoyed me as I don’t see much of him and I want to properly say goodbye to him .

Lastly when I first started see my boyfriend he was very clear that he had no feelings for he’s girl best friend but he said to so much to the point it didn’t feel genuine. Also when we were all hanging out the girl best friend started telling a story about my boyfriend going away for a weekend and then my boyfriend shut that conversation down quickly by saying that was before he met me . Am I being paranoid?

Also every time I call he’s with her and I just don’t feel comfortable having a proper chat when other people can hear me on the phone.

The only person convinced by this ass-backwards logic is Alex Jones.

Recently it feels like since there’s been delays in posting and or just late episodes in general that everyone is all over patreon and such. For one, it’s not even the girlies fault a majority of the time (not that people are saying it is)!! Even if they tried uploading earlier there would still be the weird YouTube issues they always get.

The thing I worry about happening is the girlies getting burned out. They’ve both mentioned in the past how when people wanted them to post the most they stopped because of the pressure, and I feel like that’s all we’ve been putting on them recently. With every tweet or comment either about or directly to the girls about “where’s the episode!!” Or “make a patreon” “we want you to uploaded more” or anything of the like I fear we’re going to push them back into a place where this isn’t two friends chatting for fun and posting it but required content they don’t want to make anymore.

I guess this is me asking for a little grace for them through this tough YouTube time and let them decide how they’d like to proceed. If they ask about what we think they could do we can give our input then and let them know about following them to patreon or something like that. In the end we’re all just girlies trying to get by and enjoy some silly content together and I hope it remains fun and not too pressuring.