Q&As

My friend is having a hard time with her spouse, and really needs someone to be there for her while they work through their issues. We only just recently reconnected after not speaking for 4 years. Now, every time she calls she asks me what I’m doing for the day or at that moment, and then invites herself, her family of 4, and some of her friends over to my house.

Example 1 for clarity: Friday was her spouse’s birthday. Monday she told me her plan was to take him to dinner. Then she calls me Friday morning asking me what I was doing. I told her I was just watching a movie on my couch. Then she says I know it’s last minute, but I want to come over and BBQ at your house. She said the kids could play together and we could hang out and have some drinks. I hesitated initially, and then told her that I didn’t really have a lot of meat here nor was my home “company ready.” She responded that she would grab some more food and do all of the cooking. Then I said okay. I cleaned up a little bit and then I received a second call. She excitedly told me that she invited her guy friend and he may bring a friend for me to talk to, AND a female friend of hers was also coming. I was so shocked that she was trying to throw a party not just come over and hangout with just her family like she implied during the first call. Her family already was 4 people that I was not expecting which would have made a total of 8 people including my own children. I have only met 2 of the 3 people she invited. She did not even ask if she could invite anyone else to my home or give out my address. Luckily, I got a call on the other line and told her I’d call back. 2 hours passed by and she called me repeatedly. I decided to text her that something came up and I can’t host a party for her husband. I did not receive a response. I waited another 2 hours and then called her to see how the BBQ party was going. She told me she didn’t even have the BBQ party. Like wtf? I asked her why she didn’t ask her friends to come to her apartment since she has her own BBQ grill and why didn’t she at least go out to dinner like she planned originally. She literally didn’t even answer the first question, but said she didn’t want to spend a lot of money going out to eat.

Am I the asshole for making up an excuse to end the call and then ignoring all of her repeated calls to confirm?

I'm in a wheelchair. My (17M) leg got amputated 3 months ago. I have not been feeling the best and I felt worse when I got uninvited from my brothers wedding because my brother and his new wife basically told me that I would be a distraction and take the attention off of them. They didn't say distraction..but they definitely Implied it.

My parents were upset about this as well and were even planning on staying with me but I told them it was okay to go. I did cry while they were at the wedding because I felt excluded and while that was happening I felt that I didn't really want to be bothered with my brother and his wife anymore.

When my parents came home they were telling me that people were asking about and asking where I was so I guess I was gonna be a distraction regardless. My brother tried calling me some hours after the wedding but I didn't pick up. After that him and his wife came by a couple of times after but I kept telling them that I didn't want to speak to either of them and I asked them to leave me alone.

I've been trying to ignore them and they've been making it very difficult for me to do that so I had to block them and I know my parents are upset by this but they said that they don't agree with what my brother did and even told him and his wife not to come over for some time.

My grandma and uncle have both called me on my brothers behalf telling me that he's hurt I'm not speaking to him and he wants to "make things right." He's planning on leaving on his honeymoon soon and invited me to go out and take me where ever I want so he could apologize because he didn't intend to hurt me.

It was basically the same thing he said to me in person but he's just now getting other people to say it too because he sent the same things to our parents as well. The thing is he did hurt me tho and I don't want to go anywhere with him. I don't even like going out now that I'm in a wheelchair because I feel like people stare at me and it's embarrassing and I'm just hoping it gets better when I get my prosthetic.

My family knows I don't like going out as it is but I was willing to do that for my brother because I really wanted to go to my brothers wedding and to be excluded like that hurt. I was told to go because my brother feels really guilty and they told me that everyone's still adjusting and he did not mean anyharm because he would never intentionally hurt me.

But I don't know why they keep saying that because whether he meant it like that or not that's how I took it. My parents are upset at my grandma and uncle for telling me that but told me that I should still consider the offer.

If I refuse to go would I be wrong? I'm not sure how many people think what I'm doing is wrong because no body else has been saying anything about it. Only my uncle and grandma have been vocal about it and I don't want people talking about me behind my back because they were originally upset when I got uninvited.

I 28F have a SIL Ana 35F. She is 8 months pregnant. She has had 3 miscarriages in the past and had to have an abortion after her last pregnancy was not viable.

Her pregnancy is taking a huge toll on her, she had awful morning sickness and pre existing medicinal conditions that have worsened and she is on sick leave.

I offered to plan her baby shower as she was unable to, and offered up our place for her and BIL as it was mainly family and a few friends that I know through her.

The baby shower was a hit, Ana was really pleased with how everything turned out and at the shower told everyone that she is keeping the gender of her baby a surprise, but her and BIL picked out a name for the baby. They want to name the baby Five as the number is the amount of years they have tried to conceive and it took them 3 miscarriages and one termination.

Ana said it’s a reminder of her baby’s older siblings, and I expressed in private after she asked what I thought of the name that it might not be this symbolic for their baby when they grow up to understand the meaning, I did say the word burden which led to Ana getting really upset and left, and my BIL followed her out.

BIL called me after and was upset and said I made Ana cry and ruined the baby shower. My husband agrees with me on the name Five, but he thinks it wasn’t our place to say anything and that Ana and his brother had been through a lot of infertility struggles and that I should just let her have the name as there are worse names she could have picked. Five is a unique name but I was just trying to point out the meaning of the name they had picked, and the implications of it.

I understand from a financial perspective things were easier, but aside from that, just the amount you have to wake up each night to keep a newborn fed, how is it even possible to balance that with a bunch of other toddlers to take care of

Edit: The general consensus was that they were neglected in some capacity and given more responsibilities. So the question is why don’t we do that? So many kids seem like brats nowadays.

I (F25) have been friends with Sarah (F26) since we were in high school. We've been through thick and thin together, and she's practically like a sister to me. Sarah has been married to John (M28) for two years, and they seemed like the perfect couple. I always envied their relationship and hoped to have something like that one day.

A few months ago, Sarah started acting strangely. She was secretive, always on her phone, and frequently lying about her whereabouts. I brushed it off as stress from work or maybe something she wasn't ready to share yet. But then I found out the truth: Sarah was having an affair with a coworker, Mark (M30).

I stumbled upon this by accident. One night, Sarah left her phone at my apartment after we had a girls' night. It kept buzzing with messages from Mark, and when I saw the explicit content of their conversation, I felt sick. I confronted Sarah about it the next day. She broke down, admitting everything. She said she didn't love John anymore but was too scared to leave him because of financial stability and fear of judgment from her family and friends.

I tried to convince her to end the affair and either work on her marriage or leave John honestly. She promised she would, but weeks went by, and nothing changed. Sarah continued her affair, and I couldn't stand seeing John being deceived. He was a good guy who genuinely loved her, and he deserved to know the truth.

After much internal conflict, I decided to tell John. I met him at a coffee shop, explained everything, and showed him the messages I had seen. John was devastated, and I felt like the worst person in the world for being the bearer of such terrible news. He thanked me for telling him and said he would handle it from there.

The fallout was massive. John confronted Sarah, and their marriage fell apart. Sarah was furious with me for exposing her secret. She called me a traitor and ended our friendship. Our mutual friends were divided; some thought I did the right thing, while others believed I had overstepped and ruined lives.

Now, months later, Sarah and John are divorced. Sarah moved in with Mark, but their relationship is rocky. John is trying to rebuild his life but is understandably still hurt. As for me, I've lost one of my closest friends and am left questioning if I did the right thing.

So, AITA for exposing my friend's affair to her husband?

Hi all. I (25f) am currently pregnant and have been admitted to hospital a few days ago for a suspected clot in my lung following severe chest pain. I am still in hospital right now.

A few weeks ago, my wonderful maternal grandfather passed from cancer and we are obviously as a family still upset.

2.5 years ago I was in a car accident. I broke my back in 3 places, my pelvis, and 3 ribs. It was during COVID so I was admitted to hospital and had loads of scans all through the day/night. Once they figured that I didn’t need corrective surgery they discharged me the following morning with morphine tablets and a wheelchair. I came out of hospital to around 100 messages from people I barely knew wishing me well. My mum and stepdad had posted pictures of my wrecked car on Facebook and told everyone they knew about the accident and specifics about my injuries. At the time I asked them to take down the posts as I did not want people knowing all about my personal life. They never took the posts down.

Today my friend told me that my mum has been sending messages into group chats telling people that I am pregnant and in hospital. My stepdad told his family the same. I have told them that my husband and I want to share the news ourselves. I told them that I was so hurt and disappointed that they have told people and also lied to me about it. I pointed out the lie and told them that I had again, received messages from others proving that they lied. My mum then sent me a voice note of her crying saying “sorry I don’t know what I have done but I am sorry. I must be the worst mother in the world. I am just so upset about Pappa too.” It was hard to hear her so upset by I just reiterated that asking for privacy was not too much to ask.

My stepdad who I have been very close to also sent me a voice note telling me that “they don’t need this stress” and to stop being so hateful over something so “trivial”. He told me that I was clearly hormonal but that he’ll “let it slide this time” because I am pregnant. He told me that my mum has cried for over 30 mins and it’s all my fault and that it’s all over nothing. Also, that they told other people because they are worried about me. Hesaid they will never apologise as they haven’t done anything wrong. He also said that I am the daughter he never had and that he loves me but that he is so disappointed in my behaviour.

The original message that started this sent to my mum:

Sorry it’s just I’ve had messages from people today wishing me well in hospital so I know you lied about who you have told about me being here. I am just hurt and disappointed as I would have much preferred privacy. I don’t feel like sharing any more because I don’t know who you are both sharing it with and it has actually made me being in hospital much more stressful

I might be TA because we are all grieving and emotions are running high. I also don’t feel like they told other people in a malicious way, just thoughtless. So, AITA?

My wife (31F) and I (32M) have been married for 6 years. We have no children. We legally separated last year, because I saw a text on my wife’s phone to her coworker where she said she felt special when talking to him. My wife admitted she shouldn’t have sent that text, and that nothing physical had happened between her and her co worker, but she admitted that text was probably the beginnings of an emotional affair. 

She was very remorseful about it and really regretful about everything, and she said she’d quit her job; and do anything to reconcile. She recommended marriage counseling and even individual therapy for herself. However, I just felt extremely betrayed, and really wanted a divorce, but my wife recommended separation for an indefinite period of time to see if my feelings for her could rekindle.

I thought about it a lot, and ultimately agreed on legal separation. My wife told me she wouldn’t see or date anyone during the separation, but I made no such guarantees, I told my wife she was free to do what she wanted, but she still insisted that she wasn’t going to even entertain it to prove her love to me. 

My wife and I then got legally separated, and a couple of months after separation, I started seeing my current partner. We have now been dating for 9 months, and my partner knows about me being legally separated. I didn’t really feel the need to tell about my partner to my wife.

However, last week, my girlfriend and I were grocery shopping and holding hands, and my wife came up behind me and said hi. She seemed a bit hurt, and just immediately left after saying hi to me. I felt a bit guilty about it even though I know I shouldn’t feel guilty about it, and that I’m not doing anything wrong.

Later that night, I called my wife and told her everything, and I said we could proceed with divorce if she wanted to.  However, my wife was crying and she said no, she said she still wants to give it a shot and that she still believes in us.

I know I technically am not the AH, but I feel like I am an AH. AITAH?

A benevolent spirit offers you complete immortality and $500,000,000 to start you on your new life.

You will live forever. Nothing can kill you. Shot, stabbed, hit by a bus or thrown out of an airplane? You'll survive. Someone puts you in cement shoes and drops you to the bottom of the ocean? Guess you live down there now. Planet destroyed by an asteroid? You'll walk the fiery ruins. Heat death of the universe? Guess you'll be hanging out in the cold. You'll end up watching everyone you love pass into history, over and over again.

Do you take the offer?

Edit: damn, I dozed off on the couch and so many responses. To answer some of the common ones, yes, you still take damage and will feel pain, but you will heal within a few days. No, you will not age. Let's say of you're younger than 30, you'll stop aging at 30. If you're older than 30, you'll de-age and stay 30.

This happened a year ago. I(18m) was at her house when her new husband said I should drop out of my private school since he couldn't pay for private school for his sons and it isn't fair that I have more opportunities than them. I told him it isn't fair that I have always had to cook for them every time I visit when he and my mom are the adults.

He quickly turned to my mom and complained about how going to an international school has 'Westernized' me and made me disrespectful of my elders.

My mom then turned to me and said that I should ask my dad to withdraw me. I was really mad and told her she doesn't get a say since I was already 18. I wasn't, though; I was only 17 but knew that she often gets my birth year wrong and had to be corrected several times.

When I turned 18 yesterday, she realized I lied to her and said I should have just talked to her nicely instead of making a fool out of her.

So basically, about a few hours ago, my mom called my brother and I in for an “announcement” she had to make. She’ll frequently call us in for “family meetings”, but they’re really never that important. Today though, when she called us in, she had a box on the table and told us to open it. When we did, I pulled out some baby clothes and immediately gasped, but not out of happiness. I was literally terrified. I threw the clothes back in the box, ran into my room and started crying.

So for a small explanation on why I was so devastated is that my family has a history of constantly leaving the older siblings to care for their younger siblings and never actually tending to their own baby like they should be doing. I also have very bad misophonia, so obnoxious crying triggers me very badly. My mom had also PROMISED that I would be her last kid.

My mom texted me earlier, telling me that I was grounded for being so “ungrateful” and that I should be happy for her because, as her text states, “you’ll have someone to take care of”.

So..AITA?

Watching the Olympics triggered this question - why don’t we just call countries what they call themselves?

First

So, I had a talk with my wife about her dead husband's parents, and like clockwork, they actually came this week too, i am actually writing this after they left and had a talk with my wife.

I told my wife that the frequency of these visits are becoming too much, and their comments are bothering me.

My wife really didn't realize how the comments sounded until i explained them to her.

I told her i don't mind them coming over from now and then, but that I want to spend time with her and our daughter when I am not tired from work.

She promised me she would talk to them and would make sure they gave us our space and that they would stop with the comments. She also apologized for not saying anything and that while she still loves her dead husband, she loves me and would never treat me as anything less than her husband and father of her daughter.

So yeah, I think things turned out out.

Also, i gotta vent on something that kept popping up:

The child is MY BIOLOGICAL DAUGHTER. Some of you can't read.