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My friend is having a hard time with her spouse, and really needs someone to be there for her while they work through their issues. We only just recently reconnected after not speaking for 4 years. Now, every time she calls she asks me what I’m doing for the day or at that moment, and then invites herself, her family of 4, and some of her friends over to my house.
Example 1 for clarity: Friday was her spouse’s birthday. Monday she told me her plan was to take him to dinner. Then she calls me Friday morning asking me what I was doing. I told her I was just watching a movie on my couch. Then she says I know it’s last minute, but I want to come over and BBQ at your house. She said the kids could play together and we could hang out and have some drinks. I hesitated initially, and then told her that I didn’t really have a lot of meat here nor was my home “company ready.” She responded that she would grab some more food and do all of the cooking. Then I said okay. I cleaned up a little bit and then I received a second call. She excitedly told me that she invited her guy friend and he may bring a friend for me to talk to, AND a female friend of hers was also coming. I was so shocked that she was trying to throw a party not just come over and hangout with just her family like she implied during the first call. Her family already was 4 people that I was not expecting which would have made a total of 8 people including my own children. I have only met 2 of the 3 people she invited. She did not even ask if she could invite anyone else to my home or give out my address. Luckily, I got a call on the other line and told her I’d call back. 2 hours passed by and she called me repeatedly. I decided to text her that something came up and I can’t host a party for her husband. I did not receive a response. I waited another 2 hours and then called her to see how the BBQ party was going. She told me she didn’t even have the BBQ party. Like wtf? I asked her why she didn’t ask her friends to come to her apartment since she has her own BBQ grill and why didn’t she at least go out to dinner like she planned originally. She literally didn’t even answer the first question, but said she didn’t want to spend a lot of money going out to eat.
Am I the asshole for making up an excuse to end the call and then ignoring all of her repeated calls to confirm?