Just curious.

My wife and I (f30, m33) have been married for 6 years. I have a good career but since day I I told my wife that I didn’t want a housewife. I wanted a woman who works and be an equal contributor (she doesn’t have to contribute the same monetarily just same effort). We have a son together who is 5 years old now. My wife works as a waitress and she doesn’t make much but it doesn’t matter because as I said I make enough to provide for a comfortable life. My wife complains a lot about her job and I fully get that and always support her to find a new one or even start an education to get a better one. What I don’t support is her insinuating that she was ready to be a sahm. Well I am not ready to have a able bodied adult to support as a child. When she quit her job I told her that she should find a new job or we go our separate ways. She got scared and got another waiting job. Our son is well taken care of. I work mostly from home and he has been very happy in his daycare and preschool making lots of friends. We do the chores evenly and I do all the cooking because it is a good escape from my computer job while it is boring to my wife who works with food all day.

Her sister and husband (f35, m45) are in an “opposite” situation. Her husband owns his own company and he has been begging his wife to quit working and stay with the children. She adamantly refuses and it has been a subject of contention in their relationship. Her husband thinks that he makes more than enough and the wife loves her career.

My wife has made it a habit to make comments about how she should have married the brother in law instead and I married the sister. I made it clear that it wasn’t funny especially when it is in the company of her sister and her husband. She complains how it is unfair that she wants to be a sahm but isn’t allowed. Last time it was on Saturday, we were invited for dinner with her sister and her husband. That’s when my wife started complaining about her new job and her sister and husband were very sympathetic, then she said “we should just swap spouses here, this is so unfair that I am stuck and my sister doesn’t even know how lucky she is” I was very angry and said well only an idiot would let your sister go” everyone chuckled but my wife and the husband said yeah I would be a moron to let a woman like this go and kissed his wife.

My wife became very silent afterwards and she hasn’t spoken to me since. I think I hurt her and honestly I think I am done because I am exhausted.

Edit:

Thank you everyone you have provided me good perspective and I didn’t expect so many replies. The majority seem to think like me so I am glad that I am not completely off the rocker. I have been thinking about my situation for some years now and I don’t remember when I last was happy. Every time I approached divorce she would promise to start looking for schools and change careers. It will probably happen now too but we need to rip the bandaid off this relationship. Neither is happy.

We don’t have alimony here. And no child support since our son will have divided time between us. She will have to find a new job or work more hours at her current job to provide for herself, until she finds/if she finds a new provider. But that won’t be my problem anymore. I am done.

Thanks