Q&As

I 23F broke up with my boyfriend of almost two years "Todd" 26M on Sunday (two days ago). I broke up with him because, as the title suggested, he tried to mess with my birth control.

I told Todd that I intend to be child-free until I obtain my PhD and get a position with tenure at a university. I told him I was on birth control and had no intention of getting off it and that it would be better if we doubled up with condoms. He said ok.

Two days ago, we were chilling in my apartment and I told him I was going to take a bath and listen to one of my audiobooks. I heard the microwave go off and thought that Todd was making mac and cheese or something. I hopped in the tub and was about to start when I remembered I have a bath bomb that I was gifted at my friend's baby shower. I got out of the tub to get it from my room and I found Todd messing with the pill packet I keep next to my bed.

I have a missing gallbladder after several attacks, and I have to take prescription laxatives sometimes to be able to control my poop. The packet looks similar, and by similar, I mean almost the exact same, to a birth control packet, including the silver foil and the color of the pills. I asked him what he was doing and for him to hand me my pills. The package was warm. I asked him what the hell he was doing with my pills and he broke down about how he's successful in his job and I should want to have a family with him after two years. I told him to get out of my apartment and before I slammed the door on him, let him know I had an arm implant birth control and that he microwaved my shit pills.

I blocked his number, but he's been contacting me through my university's e-mail and is refusing to take no for an answer when he apologises. His mom's been texting me, as well as some of his friends and his sisters, telling me I'm juvenile for breaking up with him when I knew he wouldn't have been successful in tampering with my birth control because I wasn't on the pill anyway. I feel so angry and violated, but they're right nothing would have happened and I'm starting to think I overreacted. AITA?

My daughter and I love reading these together... now it’s my turn to ask for judgement!

I’m 52F and this situation concerns my husband’s brother “Drew” (59M) and his wife of 5 years “Susanne” (35F). Drew supports Susanne on his income while she focuses on her dream of being an artist. She makes paintings of people and animals, and has a website where she advertises her work for sale.

Privately, I don’t think her art is very good. It’s absolutely better than what I could do, but it doesn’t look “professional,” if you know what I mean. My husband feels the same, so we have not opted to purchase any of her art, despite her dropping hints here and there about it.

The art on her site is priced in the $3-5K range. I realize that labor and cost of materials must be taken into account, but given the quality, those prices seem outrageous to me. I suspect she’s not making regular sales, because she started making portraits of friends, family, or pets “as a surprise,” and usually, said family and friends end up feeling obligated to buy the painting as a courtesy. Unfortunately, my husband and I were the latest victims of this sales tactic.

My son recently proposed to his girlfriend, and we took the two of them, his girlfriend's parents, and our daughter out to a fancy dinner to celebrate. Both my kids posted pictures from dinner on social media. Without telling anyone, Susanne decided to make a painting of one of these pictures, of everyone smiling for the camera. She revealed the big “surprise” at a party she and Drew hosted two weeks ago. The painting is a whopping 40x58”, and I honestly think it’s awful... kitsch and tacky.

I told Susanne it was sweet of her to commemorate such a special moment in our family, but I carefully avoided saying anything about “liking” it. As I feared, she kept dropping hints throughout the party about how we can buy it as a wedding gift, and she would be happy to give us a big discount off what she would charge someone else. (Who else would buy it?) I politely dodged these hints, and she was clearly disappointed.

Over the weekend, Drew reached out to my husband to say that Susanne feels hurt that we never made an offer. He said it’s becoming obvious as the years go by that we’ve never purchased one of her pieces, even though we have the means to do so, and it would mean a lot to them if we buy the painting. Her original asking price was $2.5K, and Drew said he’ll reduce it further to $1900.

It's not about the money (not entirely.) It’s the principle of the thing. I feel like I’m being strongarmed into paying for something I never asked for, don’t like, and don’t have space for in my house. I asked, and my son and his fiancée don’t want it. My husband thinks we should just buy it to keep the peace in the family and avoid a potential rift with Susanne and Drew. He also says the way I talk makes me sound like a snob (even though I would never share these opinions with anyone I know but him.) WIBTA if I stand my ground and refuse?

My ex and I (49M) were married for 2 years and had a daughter before I discovered her affair. But she took her own life during the divorce. I stayed close to my in-law because I didn’t want to take away their granddaughter. But that was a mistake because they secretly hated me and were turning my daughter against me. By the time I found out, it was too late, and daughter hated me. She was fighting with me, broke many things in the house and ran away multiple times. I tried to explain to her what happened, but she wouldn’t believe me. My family also tried in vain. At one point, I couldn’t take it anymore and let her go live with her grand-parents and she cut all contact with me. After a year of waiting, I had enough and moved to Canada to tried to rebuild my life. She was 14 when I left.

Recently, I learnt that my father passed away and I wanted to fly back. But my brother told me that my daughter would be present. Apparently, as she grew up, she understood many things and realised her grandparents were lying. She cut contact with them and was rebuilding a relationship with my brother and father. They didn’t let her contact me because I was still in a bad place. And frankly, I’m still am. I’m not sure I want her in my life again. I know she was just a kid back then and now she is an adult (22F now). But even with that, I’m not sure. I need advice.

Edit: I am quite surprised by the replies. I asked for help with my daughter and what I get are attacks to my manhood. It is quite funny when I receive messages of people insulting me and telling me to grow up when theses people are reaching out to me and insulting me because they were displeased by my story (a story they saw on internet too). The adult thing to do would have been to simply not reply.

Thanks to those who provide answers and support. I really appreciate it.

Anyways, I called my brother back and we agreed that we will try to repair our relationship after the funeral. For now, we will mourn my father.

I've been raising my 8yo nephew "Jack" after both his parents died in 2019. I went from being a 34 year old bachelor to being a single dad overnight. I don't regret it or anything but it has and does require a lot of sacrifice.

My brother made good money and invested into a house before died. It's being rented at a loss because the rent is less than the mortgage and other costs but it will be worth a fortune when it is paid off. So I'm basically paying for an 8yo and a house I don't even live in. I also have Jack in a private school.

This summer Jack wanted to go to a sleepaway camp. It's for six weeks and I could only afford two even though it's a three week minimum. He left last week. Out of the blue, the camp called me up and said someone wanted to sponsor Jack for the whole summer. I was confused.

They said a pair of "angels" heard of my hardship and wanted to help out. I said I wouldn't even consider unless they told me who was paying for it. Eventually they said it was the parents of a boy who is an acquaintance of my son. They act like they're better than everyone and come from old money. I've heard them say nasty things about the people that they've helped.

I reached out to them and said my finances are none of their business and I'm not their charity case. I'm not here to make feel better about themselves. They were taken aback by my response and asked me to think of Jack. I said your attitude proves my point.

For the record, Jack has a fun summer planned out which includes many playdates and trips with his cousins and his other uncle is taking him to Legoland in a couple weeks. He's not working in the mines this summer.

Edit: The house was half paid off when I took possession if it. It costs me $400 a month to keep it. I would have lost like 80k before the mortgage is paid off. But the house can easily sell for a million.

Why would I sell a house at loss when I can keep it at a loss but then sell it at a gain in 15 years?

My husband and I have been together since my oldest (13) was 2. I was told years ago I would never be able to conceive another child, due to only having one fallopian tube (one had to be removed) and having significant scaring. However, we did end up pregnant last year by some miracle and I just gave birth to our daughter 3 weeks ago. Everyone was over the moon, including my son. He had wanted a sibling and had been asking since he was easily 3 or 4. But my husband is weird now. Or at least in my eyes. And I guess that is what I'm here to talk about..

So.. if my son kisses the baby on the FOREHEAD my husband starts freaking out ("don't you ever kiss that baby again, that's disgusting, you could give her a virus" etc etc). If my son moves even a centimeter while holding the baby, my husband is freaking out ("don't move like that! You're going to hurt her head.") If my son blows raspberries on the babies belly, my husband tells him to stop, saying he's being too rough. He has become an asshole helicopter parent, filled with paranoia and anxiety (but refuses to be seen by a doctor) and it's just.. I'm starting to rage. To a point where I have an appointment to get tested for postpartum rage but I truly don't think I have it. I think my husband is triggering me.

But here's the massive issue... My MIL came here yesterday and full on kissed our daughter right beside her mouth and my husband didn't say shit. Just sat there smiling. So, I stepped in and said exactly what he said to my son. I said "don't you ever kiss that baby again. That's disgusting. You are going to give her a virus." She immediately stopped. But then she started swinging our daughter in a football hold with her head pointed down toward the floor. She was going pretty fast, to a point of a startle reflux. So I immediately told her to stop holding the baby like that and that she's being too rough. She says "I've had 4 kids, I am not dumb", so I said "I don't care". She stops, hands off the baby and then left maybe 5 minutes later. My husband asks why I'm being such an asshole to his mom, so I said "why are you being such an asshole to my son?" He asked what I meant and asked for examples so I gave him the side by side comparison examples to his mother vs my son. He shakes his head and said I'm "making shit up". I know for a fact I'm not making anything up at all (I've spoken to him before about getting for my son's case) and said plainly to back off my son or I'm going to treat all of his family members the same way he's been treating my son due to his paranoia and it will make it so no one comes around anymore. He says I'm taking shit too far. That kids "have germs" and are "more rough and clumsy". I told him I didn't give a fuck.

And YES, I have talked to him about his comments to my son. Right in front of my son and in private. He says I'm blowing things out of proportion.

I am 28, Ginny is 25, Ron is 23

My sister ( Ginny) was a nightmare growing up. She was not pleasant at all and got kicked out of the home at 18. I admit our parent could have handled her better but she did not make it easy. They did try to send her to therapy but it put a huge strain on finances. She wouldn’t do the stuff and my parents stopped doing it

I am older than her so she left me alone for the most part. My brother (Ron) was two years younger and she was a huge bully to him. She made his life a hell in the home. It got to the point that he would stay in my college dorm room to get away from her. He only went home after our parents kicked her out.

After that I didn’t hear from her for a while. Last year she reached out and wanted to catch up. Ginny is much better than how she was as a teenager. She reached out to Ron but he wants nothing to do with her. I see her once every few months.

I am getting married and I had a conversation with my brother of what would happen if I invited Ginny. He told me he would not attend, and I understand. So I didn’t invite her.

I got a call and she asked me why she was not invited to the wedding. She leaned about it from my aunt. I told her the real reason, the Ron would not attend if she was present.

This started an argument about how I chose Ron over her and that he is wrong for giving me an ultimatum.

It’s got around to the family and some are saying I am a dick for this while others think it is completely fair.

My stepdad, who I (24f) called dad most of my life, is the only dad I ever knew. He met my mom when I was only 1 and they got married right after my second birthday. So I literally have no memories of my life without him. And I would say most of my life I saw him as my dad and not my stepdad. He was the male figure who raised me and was there. But I was never equal to his bio kids.

He would call me his stepdaughter when asked how many kids he had. I heard him say it, even when I was little. I always called him dad or him and mom my parents. It hurt a lot when I was younger.

My younger sister was often called "my first baby girl" by him. My younger brother was called his first born. And while technically they are his first bio son and daughter. I was always expected to treat him like my real dad. But he was not always claiming me as his real daughter.

Things started to change for me when I was 16. One of my friends called him my stepdad and I didn't correct him. My stepdad overheard and he told me he was hurt that after all he'd done for me I'd let him be delegated to the lesser title of stepdad. I told him I was his stepdaughter most of the time so why shouldn't he be my stepdad.

My stepdad was still good to me. It was just. Some things really hurt when I was younger, and some things pissed me off when I was older, like the incident above. I did talk to him and mom about it and I was gaslit into believing he didn't say stepdaughter or he'd say that sometimes it's important to distinguish. But none of these were doctor appointment incidents. I always felt like it would have been easier if he had been consistent with "not my kid" for me. At least then I wouldn't have been so confused and hurt as a younger kid.

My grandparents noticed. I think what took their notice most was when I was 8 and I was worried I couldn't be his real daughter, I asked my stepdad to adopt me and he changed the subject. My stepdad's parents and two siblings were also there and they looked shocked... that I'd asked. I was never called a granddaughter by his parents or a niece by his siblings. But they were grandma and grandpa and aunty and uncle to me.

Grandpa really stepped up for the emotional support and when Covid restrictions happened my fiancé and I moved in with him temporarily since he was alone and he knew we wanted to be in a home and not a cramped apartment.

Which is why, when I got engaged, I asked grandpa to walk me down the aisle. My stepdad was pissed/offended again and he told me as much. I brought up how he talked about watching his two little girls get married (my two sisters) and never his three. So why would he be taking on such a big task for his not-little girl. He told me I was being so nitpicky and I told him he was a hypocrite to treat me as not a daughter but expect to be treated as a dad. He told me I didn't know the meaning of the word and I should be more appreciative of all the things he gave me.

AITA?

I'm (16m) in therapy with my dad and stepmom. It's been 3 or 4 months of therapy now. We started going because my stepmom wants a different relationship with me than I want with her, her feelings were getting hurt and I was getting frustrated with feeling like what I wanted didn't matter and that her wants were the priority.

Stepmom has been stepmom since I was 9 and I've known her since I was 9. I didn't really get time in between meeting her and her marrying dad to get to know her well because she moved states to live with us. I lost my mom when I was 5. She wanted us to have a mom/son dynamic. I saw her as family but not as a mom or even an actual parent. I do respect her. I think she's nice. I think she's funny and we'd be friends easier if I had been older. But I don't want another mom. Her giving birth to my half siblings didn't change that for me, but having them made her more eager for more.

She calls me her son all the time. I have voiced before that I wish she'd say stepson. I was ignored and it was never addressed.

When we started therapy I had mentioned that was something I disliked. She had talked about how she disliked me calling her by her name. How she wanted something more formal between us, like "momma" or something. Dad said he wanted me to embrace having a second mom. He wanted me to let my stepmom be my second mom.

I was honest that I feel like my voice doesn't matter when they ignore me asking her to call me her stepson. I explained why I want that, why I feel as I do. They tried to dismiss it but the therapist told them to stop. She told them that me feeling like it lessens my mom is valid. That many kids and adults feel that way. And while that could change if I wanted it to, if I wanted to work on that, if not it was something they would need to accept.

Two weeks ago she gave us "homework" she wanted us to sit down and discuss outside of therapy the whole "son/momma" thing and come back to her with notes from it. She also wanted my stepmom to call me her stepson for a week. They didn't do any of that. I told the therapist during our session last week. I said they refused to sit with me (true) and she never once called me her stepson. I was asked to sit out for the rest of the session and she had it just them and her that day.

They are so pissed at me. They told me I had done that to spite them and it's not fair that my stepmom has to do the work but not me, and she's right while I'm wrong.

AITA?

My wife just told me this past weekend she actively wants a marriage that is essentially separated. We don’t make dinner for each other, we don’t make time to do things together…we just live separately pretty much. She won’t watch my shows or genres (fantasy) and won’t participate with me sexually unless she initiates (i don’t even try anymore). I don’t like this and no matter what I say she won’t fix it.

She also does not do her chores and admits she finds herself and her job more important despite us making the same and me having a ton more upside to my salary in the near term.

I want a divorce. AITA and not trying hard enough? I have brought up marriage counseling several times over the last 2 years we’ve been married and she has never followed through. I am just done

To preserve anonymity I will not be answering questions about my company or the location of my services. Obviously please don’t ask for things such as my social accounts as I will ignore these also.

edit

I will answer things about the company I work for as long as I deem the information to not be too specific to the practices of my employer

edit 2

Hi all, I was not prepared for the amount of traffic this post received. I am going offline for the day I apologize if I did not satisfy your curiosities yet. I will be back tomorrow to try to finish up every question not related to: am I attractive/what do I look like/are my clients attractive.

Also I will not be answering any PMs requesting photos/measurements/ect so save yourself the effort if your heading in that direction -_-

Context - Hello, Me (31M) and my wife (30F) decided that we might try to star a family of our own after landing stable jobs and buying our first house together, during this i asked my wife if she could get her licence (she never bothered as she lived in Boston before meeting and marrying me) as i couldn't ferry our family everywhere and try get to work.

So, i got my wife a old beater and gave her some driving lessons along with a driving instructor and she passed!

She was happy with driving the car i got her but i thought i should treat her, (Up till now i drove a 2011 civic as a family neither of us have ever had a new car) So i put together some of my savings and bought her a brand new Mercedes A220 which she loved!

(Now lets get to the main bit of this)

About a month after getting the merc, my car (the civic) decided to give up the ghost. When i took it to the repair shop they said it had various issues including wiring issues causing it to stop supplying power to the engine randomly. My wife told me to take her car to work that day so i took and as i parked up in the lot a co-worker (lets call him X) came up to me from his car.

He started asking about the car and asked the price and where my Honda went. When i started telling him what happened to my car he cut me off mid way through and asked if he could test the car. At which point i told him it was my wife's and that i would like to keep it pristine for her.

He gave me a bit off a look and stormed into the office block. As i walked up i got a few weird looks and when i sat down next to my work buddy he said that X told everyone in the office that i am a A--hole and that i have changed into a "snob" after getting a new car.

--I dont understand what i did wrong other than maybe not letting him drive the car, it would help if someone could give me some light on this. Thank you!--

So my(F17) dad just got married. I only agreed to this because he promised me that it won't change my life and he kept his word, his new wife however is different.

She has 3 kids (F12, M17, M18) with 3 different men. My dad prepared our spare room for them, he even separated it into 3 different spaces so they can all have privacy but his wife won't leave me alone and insists that her kids should share with me because I got the basement. I told her NO, I'm not sharing with her kids, also I worked for this basement. I did so many extra chores for a whole summer to convince my dad to finish the basement for me, my dad is obviously on my side but she won't stop bitching about it.

31M. Have been with my now wife for nine years, and we just returned home from our honeymoon. It's clear we have some issues to resolve.

Every New Years Eve, my folks throw a huge party (typically there's close to 100 people there). This year, my wife (fiancé at the time) wasn't feeling well and went to bed early. She woke up to one of my brother's friends' dad raping her. The police were called almost immediately, and several men restrained him while he insisted my wife (who had fallen asleep hours ago) pursued him. I wanted to kill the guy, but luckily my parents calmed me down, and convinced me to stay upstairs with my wife.

My entire family is upset about what happened. My parents feel guilty, and are even thinking about moving because they're having a hard time living in the home where something so terrible happened to a loved one. They honestly seem more upset than my wife, who doesn't ever talk about what happened. She went to the hospital immediately after and is cooperating with the police and prosecutor, but other than updating me on the legal aspects of the case, she pretends it never happened. I found her a therapist immediately after the attack, but she only went to two sessions and then decided it was a waste of time. My wife works all the time (close to 80 hours a week) and said she didn't want to spend her free time talking to a stranger about her problems.

About a month after the rape, she tried to initiate sex with me. I asked if she was sure she was ready, and she said yes. She was incredibly tense and tight the entire time, and kept grimacing like she was in pain. Before, my wife was engaged during sex, but that time she just kind of laid there and stared at the ceiling. At one point, I looked down at her, and it was like she was somewhere else entirely. I wanted to stop, but she told me to keep going until I was done. After, my wife said she felt spacey and she just wanted to lay down for a while. She probably spent an hour just laying in bed and staring at the wall. I tried to rub her back to comfort her, but any touching made her physically flinch. It's hard to describe, but it almost seemed like she was on something (even though she never does drugs).

My wife initiated sex a few times after this. Each time was similar, with her grimacing and being completely checked out. It didn't seem like she wanted sex, but initiated it because she thought it was what I wanted. This obviously made me feel terrible. It's hard seeing her in so much pain during sex, and when she's so checked out, it makes me feel like I'm using her. I told her how I was feeling a few months ago, and we agreed we should wait a while to have sex. Luckily, my wife started seeing a new therapist to help her work through these things, and this therapist agrees she should not be having sex right now.

We went through with the wedding, and it was perfect. My parents paid for a honeymoon in Hawaii as a wedding gift. The first night we were exhausted from travel, so sex wasn't really on either of our minds. The second night, after we got back from dinner, my wife slipped into the bathroom for a bit and then came back wearing what looked like very expensive lingerie. I was a bit taken aback, and reminded her that we agreed to wait while. She looked genuinely confused, and said it was our honeymoon. I explained that it didn't matter, and we could wait as long as she needed. My wife got teary, and when I asked what was wrong, she said it wasn't supposed to be like this, that she always imagined her honeymoon would be romantic, and said I wasn't attracted to her anymore. I told her it wasn't true, and but she said I was lying and cried herself to sleep.

I know it wasn't a good idea, but the next night, I initiated sex with her. We kissed for a while, and that was fun, but as soon as we started having sex, she got checked out again. I asked if she was alright, and she told me to keep going. But, after a few minutes of seeing her laying there passively and grimacing, I couldn't keep it up anymore. This seemed to reaffirm her belief that I'm not attracted to her anymore. She asked if I wanted to try again the next day, and I said we should just relax and enjoy the trip. The rest of the trip was tense, and my wife seemed terribly upset with me. She didn't want to talk, or even hold my hand while we were out. Now we're home, and she's back to working all the time and avoiding me. AITA?

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We divide the household chores among our chiIdren. The two oldest have the following which led to our current situation:

Daughter: keeps the living rooms clean, vacuums the entire house once a week, dust the entire house twice a month, wash the cars twice a month, and take trash and recycling out to the bins as needed.

Son: keeps the downstairs bathroom clean, help me clean out the garage twice a year, help me replace the air filter 3x a year, mow the lawn once a week, help me trim the trees and bushes in the spring, rake and bag the leaves in the fall, take out the garbage bins out once a week, and help me switch out the car tires twice a year.

About a month ago she complained about having to take the trash out about 4 times a week when he only has to take the bins once a week. That led to her complaining about how often she has to clean the house when compared to the relatively low occurrence of his duties. They argued about it until I suggest they switch for the rest of the year and they agreed.

Our summer temperatures are in the high 90s to low 100s until night. She only mowed half of the lawn once and hasn’t touched the mower or trimmer again due to the heat. Our grass is now so long we got a notice from the city. She’s missed taking out the bins 2 weeks in a row and now they’re full and stinky. Now she wants to switch back but he doesn’t want to.

He found her chores are easy and doesn’t miss the outside heat and dust. He also doesn’t want to clean out the garage in the fall. Speaking of fall, we have 4 very large trees that require about 10 large bags for the leaves and he doesn’t want to do that either.

She refuses to do any more of his chores but they need to be done so I told them that if he does his list along with hers, he’ll get his allowance along with hers and she’ll get nothing. My wife is staying out of it but encouraged me to switch them back but I think I’m on the right path. It’s our duty to prepare our children for the future and I think this is a perfect lesson on consequences.

Should I switch the chores back?

My husband and I were discussing weight loss and I mentioned how (it’s scientifically proven!) women have a harder time loosing weight than men, especially around menopause, due to different hormones.

He said he’s “tired of women playing the gender card” and “he doesn’t buy into most of it”. I pretty much lost my shit because we’ve been arguing about reproductive rights lately and he doesn’t really care and that enrages me.

It’s the next morning and I’m not feeling very forgiving. I’m wondering who tf I married (12 years ago) and he’s telling me he’s “not that bad”.