Q&As

Throwaway. I don’t think that I am being dramatic. My husband is turning 40 in a few weeks and he asked me if we could do something crazy like have a threesome on his day. With a woman. “You choose her and you set the rules” aww how nice of you to make me choose ! I just started bawling my eyes out and I guess he wasn’t prepared for this reaction so he got terrified and started apologizing and saying sorry and that he loves me more than anything and to forget it. Of course I can’t forget it. I asked for divorce next day(two days ago) and he is very shocked and desperate. He told me that he would give me space and crash on his parents’ sofa for a few days but I know that in my heart my marriage is over.

Additional info:

He is 40 and I am 38. We have been together for over 7 years. Married for 1,5 and we have 1 daughter who is 6 months old and we (were) planning another baby.

If anything is unclear just ask.

I (28F) recently got married to my wonderful husband (30M). We had a beautiful wedding that we spent a year planning and saving for. It was a small, intimate ceremony with close family and friends, followed by a reception at a lovely venue.

Everything was going perfectly until my older brother (32M) decided to propose to his girlfriend (28F) during our reception. He didn't just propose quietly, either. he made a big scene, getting down on one knee right in the middle of the dance floor, stopping the music, and drawing everyone's attention. It felt like the whole reception shifted from celebrating our marriage to celebrating their engagement.

I was stunned and didn't know how to react at first. My husband was visibly upset. I tried to keep my composure, but as the night went on, I grew increasingly frustrated...

I pulled him aside and told him that I thought what he did was incredibly disrespectful and selfish. I asked him to leave the reception because I didn't want any more drama. He was shocked and said I was overreacting, and that it was just a "spur of the moment" thing. His girlfriend looked embarrassed, and they both left.

Now, my family is divided. Some of them think I was right to stand up for myself, while others think I overreacted and should have just let it go. My brother has since apologized, but I can't shake the feeling of having my special day overshadowed.

AITA for kicking my brother out of my wedding after he proposed during our reception?

My (41f) daughter (15) had a sleepover a couple of days ago with four of her friends. From what I observed, the girls had a lot of fun together and were all very respectful of each other, my husband, and I. Most of the girls’ parents thanked me and my husband for hosting and said positive things, but one texted me a list of all the things I did wrong.

The first thing that upset this mom was the fact that my daughter and her friends went swimming in our backyard pool. When the sleepover invites were sent out via text message, I asked the moms if they were okay with their girls going swimming. All of them said “yes” or “that’s okay with me” except for the complaining mom, who simply liked my text. I assumed this meant yes. I would not have allowed this had the girls not been forced to pass a swimming safety unit (which included a swim test at the end) for their PE class. Additionally, my husband completed a lifeguarding course from the Red Cross and passed with flying colors. The mom’s second issue was the food the girls ate, which she deemed unhealthy. I however, did not see an issue with this because I think eating junk at sleepovers is okay. The next issue was the movie the girls watched after dinner. Since some of the girls are 14 and others are 15, we told them no R rated movies, but other than that it was up to them. They ended up choosing The Fault In Our Stars, which the complainer deemed inappropriate. The final thing she was mad about was the fact that the girls didn’t actually go to sleep until midnight. As a mom myself, I understand because I want my daughter to get enough sleep. However, both my husband and I do think that sleepovers are a time when it’s okay to stay up late, provided the kids let the parents sleep (which my daughter and her friends did). Additionally, the girls woke up at 8:30, meaning they got about 8 1/2 hours of sleep. 

I received the complaining mom’s text on the day after the sleepover. The text said “Thank you for having my daughter over. It was generous of you to open up your home and graciously host her. However, I feel that many of your decisions were questionable and inappropriate”. She then proceeded to list her objections with specific reasons for each one. I then replied, “Please tell your daughter thanks for coming! She was a pleasure to host. I understand your concerns, but considering that you never communicated your expectations or rules, I don’t think it’s fair to place the blame on me. If we ever do things like this in the future, please make sure to let me know of any restrictions ahead of time. Thank you and have a lovely weekend!” She then responded angrily that it was my fault, and when I texted her to say sorry, she didn’t respond. AITA for not taking the blame?

Alright, Reddit, I (27M) need some outside perspective. My girlfriend, Sarah (25F), and I have been together for 3 years. Recently, I won a bet and ended up with a decent chunk of spare cash. Naturally, I was pretty stoked about it. Been thinking about putting it towards something fun or maybe even a small getaway for the two of us.

But here’s the thing – Sarah found out about my winnings and now she wants me to pay for her upcoming girls' trip with her friends. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love Sarah and I want her to have fun with her friends. But I’m feeling kinda weird about using my winnings for something that doesn’t involve me at all.

I suggested that she could save up for her trip or maybe we could split the cost, but she wasn’t having any of it. She thinks I’m being selfish and that since we’re a couple, my money should be our money, especially since it was extra cash from a bet. I see her point, but I also feel like I earned it and should have a say in how it’s spent.

Sarah’s friends are backing her up, saying I’m being a jerk for not wanting to support her. I’m starting to wonder if I’m in the wrong here. I do want her to have a good time, but I also don’t want to feel like I’m just a bank.

So, AITA for not wanting to pay for my girlfriend’s girls' trip?

my husband, my friend, her bf and i were all hanging out at our place last night. we were tipsy and started playing truth or dare. my friend dared me to show her bf my tits.

i looked at my husband, and i always go topless on our Europe trips so he was fine with it. so i looked at her bf, and pulled up my shirt and gave him a good view of my boobs for probably like ten seconds. my friend was PISSED. she told me she was just joking and wasn't actually expecting me to be "such a slut". and they left right after.

i get that im probably an idiot, but aitah?

I am a (25f) and my husband (27) and I have been together for almost 4 years and we do not have any kids. I had a same-day lumpectomy surgery yesterday. The tumor is not believed to be malignant, but I wanted it out since my mother had breast cancer. My husband got the day off work and drove me. The surgery was delayed for about 3 hours, and my husband was getting impatient. The surgeon finally came in and said she expected the surgery would take an hour. After she left, my husband said he was going to leave the hospital to get lunch when I went under since he hadn’t eaten that day. I wanted him to be able to eat and was trying to be brave, but I really didn’t want to be left when the surgery was only supposed to be an hour, so I asked him if we could pick up food for him on the way home. He gave me the impression he would stay, and I was wheeled away.

Fast forward to 30 minutes later, I was being shaken awake by a nurse who told me I was sick and she was trying to get in touch with my husband. Apparently, during the surgery, my blood pressure dropped rapidly, and my surgeon was able to get the tumor out in 20 minutes. My BP was 70/30 by the time they got it out, and my lips had turned blue.

I was very sick in my room. I was bleeding through my internal stitches, coming in and out of consciousness, and was vomiting— all the while; my nurse was trying to track my husband down. My surgeon called him, but he did not answer. I’m very thankful for the sweet nurses who took care of me and reassured me. It is the next day now, and I’m very emotional and angry about the whole ordeal.

My husband did not apologize and has been incredibly defensive about the whole thing. His explanation for leaving was, “I went out and got lunch, and then I was getting gas because I was low from driving your ass around. The surgery was suppose to be an hour. How was I supposed to know your heart could have stopped?” I told him he had one job which was to stay with me and tell me what the surgeon says. I could get over him leaving if he was apologetic or remorseful, but I’m shocked at his words/how little he seems to care for someone he claims to love.

In his defense, he cared for me last night when we got home but left today after we argued. I’m sure I’m just still really emotional from anesthesia and being a bit dramatic, but I can’t even look at him the same. He is usually attentive and caring, so I am baffled. I’m sure he thought the chances of anything going wrong were slim, but I can’t understand his thought process.

I sat for hours and hours in waiting rooms during all of my mother’s breast cancer procedures and was nervous to even leave for a minute to get food. God forbid I don’t have cancer because I don’t trust him with anything medical now. Anyway, I’m unsure what I hope to get from writing this to strangers. I just needed to vent.

I (F, 28) was cast in a play and I’m really excited! One thing that I’m very anxious about is the fact that I will need to be fully topless in two different scenes. I feel self-conscious about showing my bare breasts, but I understand that it’s important to the story. I’m very flat chested and that adds to my insecurities.

I've always admired actors who can push past their comfort zones for the sake of their craft, and now it's my turn to do the same. I do feel grateful for this opportunity, although it is anxiety inducing.

The director has been really supportive, assuring me that the scenes will be tastefully done and that the nudity is essential to convey the character's vulnerability. I trust his vision, but that doesn't mean I'm not freaking out a little on the inside.

Rehearsals start next week, and my main focus is perfecting my lines, etc. Any thoughts or advice? New user pass phrase: I am asking this question in good faith.

My husband, Gary (M41), and I (F38) are expecting our first child in a little more than 3 months. As you can imagine, things have been quite hectic as we prepare. Overall, Gary is an excellent spouse. However, he has an issue regarding his relationship with his parents.

Gary’s family lived in extreme poverty for most of his life. It was so bad that his parents would regularly skip meals so that he and his brothers had enough to eat, and they came close to homelessness several times. Fortunately, Gary and his brothers were all able to secure good stable jobs and have worked hard to pull their parents out of poverty.

The biggest issue I have with Gary is that he spends excessively on his parents. Around the time we met, he had just taken out a mortgage on a nice house for them. This strained our relationship at the time because I didn’t want him to make any major financial commitments to other people before we were married. This was perhaps the biggest example, until now.

In the past few weeks, I’ve noticed Gary talking a lot with his brothers about buying something else for their parents. I was curious, so I asked him, and he mentioned something about how he and his brothers wanted to buy a car for their parents since their old one was starting to have issues. I asked him not to spend too much because we’re expecting a baby and don’t know what expenses will arise in the coming months. He reassured me that he wouldn’t.

For the past two weeks or so, Gary has been working later than usual. I even overheard him telling a friend in our neighbourhood that he needed to work longer hours because he was about to make a major purchase.

I’ll admit this next part may seem wrong, but I was frustrated with his late hours, so I logged onto his home laptop. I saw that on Tuesday, he made a $45,000 wire transfer. Of course, I was fuming seeing he spent that much, and my curiosity got the better of me, so I checked out his WhatsApp (also on his computer) and read some of the messages he was sending his brothers.

Turns out they are preparing to drop around $105,000 on a car called a G90 for their parents. Gary sent the $45,000 to his brother who lives in the same city as their parents. I saw a few pictures of the specific car, and read some of the messages he was sending the dealership rep about being “fully on board” and all this made me feel sick to my stomach.

When Gary came home, I did confront him about this. I said that he was being irresponsible for spending that kind of money without consulting me and that I wanted him and his brothers to cancel the whole thing for the time being. Gary became very defensive and started saying that we had more than enough money in case of an emergency and that he’d work overtime for the next few weeks so that he could make it back.

We argued. I called him a liar. He said I broke his trust by going through his computer. I got so angry, angrier than I’ve ever been, and I told him that since he spent this kind of money without telling me, he lost the privilege to name our daughter. He got frustrated by this and just said I was being “too much”. We ended up not eating together, and we even slept separately last night. We have also not spoken since, as he ended up leaving extra early for work today.

I personally think he’s being too stubborn, but my best friend thinks I’m too harsh and that I should apologize.

AITA?

Context - For those wondering, last year according to his taxes he made about 763k. Give or take this year, he should be making around the same amount. My issues are that he went behind my back and 45k is still a massive amount of money.

In November 2019, I was in a terrible accident that left me in a coma for over five months. When I woke up in April 2020, the world had changed drastically due to the COVID-19 pandemic. I'm here to share my experience and answer any questions about my time in the coma and adjusting to life post-awakening. Ask me anything!

I'm 22F, my mom is 37, and I have 3 younger siblings F14, F7 and M4. Me and the 2nd oldest have different dads from each other and the other 2. They and this upcoming baby all have the same dad, our stepdad. I'm sorry if that was confusing. There are 3 dads in total but only our stepdad is involved now.

I was the babysitter and "mom" growing up. When my sister was born I magically became mom despite not even being double digits. When the others came I still was mom. I didn't get to have fun, go out, or be a kid. My job in the house was to cook, clean, raise my siblings and deal with our mom. She was incredibly immature growing up and loved to drink, party, spend money on luxuries and not be a mom. She acts more like a mom now but a lot of the work still falls on me. She robbed my of my childhood and I'm very bitter about it. The only reason I lived at home for so long was because no one would/could take me in and I felt that I could tolerate it all for free rent and food. It was a good deal for me then, but I'm 22 now. I'm done being a mom when I don't even have kids.

Last year my stepdad's parents died in a car accident and as their only child he got everything. We all moved into their home and got a bit of money under our belts so I guess they decided to have a baby. When my mom announced it I asked if she was serious. She confirmed and asked me if I still had my diaper changing skills as a joke. I was silently livid. I dryly laughed and found some roommates online that night. The thought of wasting another 10+ years raising my siblings sounded like Hell.

She found out that I'm planning on leaving come August and now she's irate calling me every name under the sun and selfish. She got my siblings involved and the youngest is crying asking why I don't love them anymore and why I'm leaving. It's really low to use kids like that and it hurts. I don't want to stay but I don't want them to cry. I know I'm doing the right thing for myself but is it the right thing for them? My mom never really parented growing up. She wouldn't, so I took over that role. I was the one who changed diapers and taught them their ABCs and all that. I was the one who cooked dinner and bathed them. I look at none of my siblings as siblings but as my own kids because that's what they basically are. I don't think she'll be able to do a good job. She and my stepdad rely on me heavily in that category.

AITA for leaving? I need advice on how to get over this feeling and move on.

I am disappointed with my wife. We have a 2 month old daughter. She was born with health issues. But I still love my daughter and I will do my best to take care of her. I will never give up on her. My wife wants a healthy child with no issues. My wife said to put our daughter for adoption and we can adopt a healthy child. I said no. My wife said if I don't agree with her she will divorce me and leave. She told me I have to be a single father.

I was eating ramen noodles yesterday, and for the first time ever I realized that it was actually two servings per block of noodles. That means all of the nutrition facts and percentages would be doubled. Why are companies allowed to purposefully make deceitful labels like this? Aren’t there consumer protection laws in place?

EDIT: I'm not sure about giving this edit at first, but some people missed the point about them "ignoring" him. The ignore is them not talking to my son AT ALL after the quick 2 minutes "happy celebration" they gave to him. They didn't made any eye contact with him, it makes him nervous to talk first, as they acted like he's not there.

If you ask, why didn't I start the conversation and instead go quiet? I was sad my son only got 2 minutes attention, a hand and back rub, that's it. I was too busy with my thought and I don't know...they seemed so happy, I just couldn't bring the topic about my son into them.

And it is not like I don't let them to be happy and celebrated what my nephew deserves. They already did 2 celebration before they came to visit. A celebration for achieving remission and celebration for the bell rang. The documentations are there on the family chat group, I congratulate them and I'm happy for them. When my nephew first diagnosed, my sister asked me a lot of questions (the Cancer type are different), and I'm very happy to answer and helping what I can. Was it too much if I expected that dinner to be my son's turn to get the attention, recognition and love?

Lastly, many of you assumed it is a jealousy, because my nephew is now in remission, but my son has not. It is one factor, but what I feel isn't really about the Cancer or jealousy of his remission. Rather, it is the sadness because my son wanted to build a relationship with my parents, my siblings and his cousins. They only met each other in person twice. They don't have the strongest bound, but my son love them dearly. It is a sadness because that desire is not achieved.

I understand we are far away. They are closer, and of course they are already comfortable with each other and know each other so well. But we just want to try. My son is just wants to try.

That's pathetic when I know that they don't have any effort to be closer to us, but I still hope they will shower my son with love, that he is actually deserves to get.

--

My son recently discharged from a long hospital stay (3,5 months), he was having emergency heart surgery due to ruptured aortic dissection (rare occurance in children, they were actually kind of shocked when they found out what's going on). The surgery was 15 hours long, because he was bleeding all night long, almost died (he have bleeding disorder, also extremely low platelet at the time). And the recovery was very tough, he got infection back to back, sepsis to septic shock and other problems, almost died again, put him on ECMO and ventilator, and stayed in the ICU, from post surgery day to 2 week before discharge.

In another hand, one of nephew recently kicked Cancer a$$. We are so proud and grateful. Even though it doesn't mean it's all over, but we are happy with this news. As info, my son is also battling Cancer. It's been 4 years, and he's not in remission yet, not a singke time. And we probably would never. He's still on the battle.

Last night, we were out for dinner, together. There was me, my son, my husband, all my family members. They just arrived a night before, from my home country. It is a holiday time for schoolers there. So that was our first dinner together. I brought up about my son just been discharge recently, after facing a "big battle". That was how I phrase it.

They were so happy and my son as well. He's still weak, in pain here and there, but he's overall stable, so he can be with us. Then, my sister suddenly said, "And (my nephew) just beat Cancer!" and clapping her hands. My family turn away from my son so fast, congratulate them.

I don't know. I'm happy for them, for my nephew. But I just...sad? I can see my son forced his smile seeing them. I just hurt. I probably a bad person. It is not really about the attention, I don't know how to explain. I hope any of you understand.

I was quiet through the dinner, majority of the time. I barely smile. My parents noticed and they seemed not liking my behavior (I know them too well). They were talking about my nephew's Cancer treatment in Singapore and their experience there. No one talk to my son.

After dinner was over, my mom confronted me through texts, saying how can I have that kind of attitude? Why am I mad about my nephew beat Cancer?

I told her, I wasn't. Apparently, I vomited my true feeling about the situation to her. She called me an AH and I just don't like seeing my family being happy. And that I should grateful, at least my son isn't die.

My sister blocked me. But my other siblings turned out be on my side.

AITA?

My wife has stage 4 cancer and is slowly dying. I’m only 46 years old. What do I do with the rest of my life afterwards?

My wife and I have been together since I was 18 years old and I do not know anything of life without her. We do not have an exact timeline but she probably has 12-18 months. While I am dedicated to her and caring for her, my mind constantly wanders about what my life will be like after she is not here. What am I supposed to do with the rest of my life? I can’t even fathom life without her. I won’t lie, suicidal thoughts have been in my mind.

Thank you to everyone for your wonderful thoughts and suggestions and support. I was in therapy last year and just got to a point where I was just going through the motions during my sessions, so I quit. My wife refuses to go to therapy and is and always has been a somewhat emotionally closed person. I try having the tough conversations and she shuts down. So I constantly feel alone.

My parents (82M, 75F) asked if I would help them book a much needed vacation. They also asked me to do the same for my brother (43) and SIL (33), because they wanted to take a family vacation in September. My husband (46) and I (41F) can't afford to go because i am currently out of a job. Even though this would be the first family vacation I will have ever missed and it made me really sad, I said I would of course help. My mom even mentioned to me that in a way it's good because I'd be able to watch my brother's pugs and my parents' chihuahua.

Here's the thing about watching the dogs. It's a 24/7 job that requires me to stay at my brother's house. The dogs are wonderful, but very high maintenance. Because of this, I have been telling my brother for nearly 10 years that he needed to hire a dogsitter (money isn't an issue for him).

Ive dogsat for them 3 times this past year varying from 1 to 5 nights. They paid me well. But I do not feel comfortable staying at their house and I find the round the clock care exhausting. My husband and I have 5 cats, and we are no stranger to feeling like our pets are our kids, but we don't have dogs for a reason. Now, I'm supposed to be booking this trip for my brother, but he hasn't even asked me about watching the dogs.

Sunday at family dinner, everyone is there except my SIL who was ill. My brother was sitting across from me so I reach out to hold his hand and say that I love him, I love the pugs, but I can't watch them when they go on vacation and that he needs to get a dogsitter. I said it was just too much to ask me to be trapped at their house for 7 nights, and that I have been asking him to hire a dogsitter for nearly a decade. I even offer suggestions and said I'll help find someone.

He starts to get reactive and says that they won't watch my cats anymore. I said that's fine, we have a cat sitter, but I point out that I ask them if they can help. They, on the other hand, didn't ask me.

My brother finally concedes that it is a lot to ask 7 nights and 5 dogs. Excuse me? Yes, 5 dogs, because his MIL apparently was planning to go too. So now added to the mix are 2 Italian greyhounds.

I stay calm and gently point out that I felt this way before knowing there were 5 dogs. Can he imagine how I felt? He seemed to understand. By the time I left dinner, there were hugs and kisses and all was well. I knew my brother was upset, but he seemed to understand and I was really proud of putting up boundaries.

The next evening, I call my parents to see if they have heard from my brother. Apparently he called them after he got home from family dinner and was "blindsided" by me. My SIL was just as upset as him too. They think I'm throwing a tantrum because I can't go on the vacation. While yes, that sucks, I told him my real issue is being trapped at their house for 7 nights. Now they are canceling the vacation bc I wont watch the dogs.

AITA for telling them i wont do it?

My parents took out credit cards and loans in my name. It was fine when they were paying the bills but they got behind.

I don't have a key to the mailbox so I never saw the bills or anything. I just finished my third year of university and I was going to move out. That would require me to get a credit check and stuff.

My parents freaked out and forbid me from moving out. They said it was stupid that I would waste money on moving out when I could save money living at home.

They don't like my boyfriend so I thought that was their issue. But not was I wrong.

Long story short I am about $60,000 in debt because of them. I cannot afford to pay that off.

I told them that they needed to clear the debt immediately and change the house rules so my boyfriend could spend the night.

They said that they didn't have the money to pay the debt and that I could not strong arm them into changing the rules of their house.

I called my auntie and asked her if I could please come stay with her for a bit. She let me and asked a lot of questions. Then she showed me a dozen Reddit posts about parents screwing up their kids future and kids allowing it.

I went to the police and reported it.

My parents got arrested and charged. They are furious with me.

I know they didn't spend the money on me. I do not know what they did spend it on. I don't care. I feel bad for them but I'm not letting them fuck up my future.

AITA?