Q&As

I am a (25f) and my husband (27) and I have been together for almost 4 years and we do not have any kids. I had a same-day lumpectomy surgery yesterday. The tumor is not believed to be malignant, but I wanted it out since my mother had breast cancer. My husband got the day off work and drove me. The surgery was delayed for about 3 hours, and my husband was getting impatient. The surgeon finally came in and said she expected the surgery would take an hour. After she left, my husband said he was going to leave the hospital to get lunch when I went under since he hadn’t eaten that day. I wanted him to be able to eat and was trying to be brave, but I really didn’t want to be left when the surgery was only supposed to be an hour, so I asked him if we could pick up food for him on the way home. He gave me the impression he would stay, and I was wheeled away.

Fast forward to 30 minutes later, I was being shaken awake by a nurse who told me I was sick and she was trying to get in touch with my husband. Apparently, during the surgery, my blood pressure dropped rapidly, and my surgeon was able to get the tumor out in 20 minutes. My BP was 70/30 by the time they got it out, and my lips had turned blue.

I was very sick in my room. I was bleeding through my internal stitches, coming in and out of consciousness, and was vomiting— all the while; my nurse was trying to track my husband down. My surgeon called him, but he did not answer. I’m very thankful for the sweet nurses who took care of me and reassured me. It is the next day now, and I’m very emotional and angry about the whole ordeal.

My husband did not apologize and has been incredibly defensive about the whole thing. His explanation for leaving was, “I went out and got lunch, and then I was getting gas because I was low from driving your ass around. The surgery was suppose to be an hour. How was I supposed to know your heart could have stopped?” I told him he had one job which was to stay with me and tell me what the surgeon says. I could get over him leaving if he was apologetic or remorseful, but I’m shocked at his words/how little he seems to care for someone he claims to love.

In his defense, he cared for me last night when we got home but left today after we argued. I’m sure I’m just still really emotional from anesthesia and being a bit dramatic, but I can’t even look at him the same. He is usually attentive and caring, so I am baffled. I’m sure he thought the chances of anything going wrong were slim, but I can’t understand his thought process.

I sat for hours and hours in waiting rooms during all of my mother’s breast cancer procedures and was nervous to even leave for a minute to get food. God forbid I don’t have cancer because I don’t trust him with anything medical now. Anyway, I’m unsure what I hope to get from writing this to strangers. I just needed to vent.

My parents took out credit cards and loans in my name. It was fine when they were paying the bills but they got behind.

I don't have a key to the mailbox so I never saw the bills or anything. I just finished my third year of university and I was going to move out. That would require me to get a credit check and stuff.

My parents freaked out and forbid me from moving out. They said it was stupid that I would waste money on moving out when I could save money living at home.

They don't like my boyfriend so I thought that was their issue. But not was I wrong.

Long story short I am about $60,000 in debt because of them. I cannot afford to pay that off.

I told them that they needed to clear the debt immediately and change the house rules so my boyfriend could spend the night.

They said that they didn't have the money to pay the debt and that I could not strong arm them into changing the rules of their house.

I called my auntie and asked her if I could please come stay with her for a bit. She let me and asked a lot of questions. Then she showed me a dozen Reddit posts about parents screwing up their kids future and kids allowing it.

I went to the police and reported it.

My parents got arrested and charged. They are furious with me.

I know they didn't spend the money on me. I do not know what they did spend it on. I don't care. I feel bad for them but I'm not letting them fuck up my future.

AITA?

I was eating ramen noodles yesterday, and for the first time ever I realized that it was actually two servings per block of noodles. That means all of the nutrition facts and percentages would be doubled. Why are companies allowed to purposefully make deceitful labels like this? Aren’t there consumer protection laws in place?

In November 2019, I was in a terrible accident that left me in a coma for over five months. When I woke up in April 2020, the world had changed drastically due to the COVID-19 pandemic. I'm here to share my experience and answer any questions about my time in the coma and adjusting to life post-awakening. Ask me anything!

I am disappointed with my wife. We have a 2 month old daughter. She was born with health issues. But I still love my daughter and I will do my best to take care of her. I will never give up on her. My wife wants a healthy child with no issues. My wife said to put our daughter for adoption and we can adopt a healthy child. I said no. My wife said if I don't agree with her she will divorce me and leave. She told me I have to be a single father.

My son recently discharged from a long hospital stay (3,5 months), he was having emergency heart surgery due to ruptured aortic dissection (rare occurance in children, they were actually kind of shocked when they found out what's going on). The surgery was 15 hours long, because he was bleeding all night long, almost died (he have bleeding disorder, also extremely low platelet at the time). And the recovery was very tough, he got infection back to back, sepsis to septic shock and other problems, almost died again, put him on ECMO and ventilator, and stayed in the ICU, from post surgery day to 2 week before discharge.

In another hand, one of nephew recently kicked Cancer a$$. We are so proud and grateful. Even though it doesn't mean it's all over, but we are happy with this news. As info, my son is also battling Cancer. It's been 4 years, and he's not in remission yet, not a singke time. And we probably would never. He's still on the battle.

Last night, we were out for dinner, together. There was me, my son, my husband, all my family members. They just arrived a night before, from my home country. It is a holiday time for schoolers there. So that was our first dinner together. I brought up about my son just been discharge recently, after facing a "big battle". That was how I phrase it.

They were so happy and my son as well. He's still weak, in pain here and there, but he's overall stable, so he can be with us. Then, my sister suddenly said, "And (my nephew) just beat Cancer!" and clapping her hands. My family turn away from my son so fast, congratulate them.

I don't know. I'm happy for them, for my nephew. But I just...sad? I can see my son forced his smile seeing them. I just hurt. I probably a bad person. It is not really about the attention, I don't know how to explain. I hope any of you understand.

I was quiet through the dinner, majority of the time. I barely smile. My parents noticed and they seemed not liking my behavior (I know them too well). They were talking about my nephew's Cancer treatment in Singapore and their experience there. No one talk to my son.

After dinner was over, my mom confronted me through texts, saying how can I have that kind of attitude? Why am I mad about my nephew beat Cancer?

I told her, I wasn't. Apparently, I vomited my true feeling about the situation to her. She called me an AH and I just don't like seeing my family being happy. And that I should grateful, at least my son isn't die.

My sister blocked me. But my other siblings turned out be on my side.

AITA?

Hi, Reddit, I’m Dmytro Kuleba, Ukraine’s Foreign Minister, and this post is to announce that I will be answering questions on Reddit.

Here's proof:

So right now, you can leave your questions here already. Tomorrow evening, I will be answering them. I promise to pick up as many as I can. And not only the pleasant ones, but a variety of them.

Ask me anything and see you tomorrow, on Friday, July 19th.

Note: Using fake names. And please do be kind, English is not my first language.

I (F 46) got pregnant with my daughter Sarah (F 26) when I was in college. My parents and my then boyfriend's parents pushed us to marry which we did. My late husband unfortunately passed away a week after our daughter's second birthday because of a heart complication that we did not even know he had. It was a very hard time for me and I went through a very bad depression.

Four years later, I met my now husband Robert (M 46) on a blind date set up by a friend. He was one of my best friend's cousin. We hit it off and got married a year later.

Even when we were dating, he was very hands on with my daughter, and it did not take too long for my daughter call him "papa". Even until we got married and when I got pregnant two years into the marriage and gave birth to twins (M 17 and F 17), he still acted like a father to Sarah. She was even included in my husband's family reunions, and the cousin group photoshoot that my in-laws' organise every Christmas.

Things took a bit of a turn when Sarah turned eighteen. She started calling him by his first name and both Robert and I were taken aback with the change of attitude she was displaying. I asked Robert what was that about but he only shrugged, not knowing the reason too. I thought things would go back to normal, but she has been consistent in calling him by his first name, so I asked her if we could talk. Robert asked if he could join which Sarah agreed. To make it short, my daughter overheard my husband talking about a father's day trip to his friend who owns an hostel. His friend asked him if he forgot to include Sarah since my husband only asked him to prepare three bedrooms. My husband replied that he planned this trip for his real children only. It wouldn't make sense if Sarah was in the trip since he wasn't her real father. This made Sarah feel betrayed and hurt because she saw him as him as her real dad even if she knew he was her step dad. My husband tried to explain to her that though he loves her as a father, his love for the twins were different since they were his real children. I wanted to just shut him up because he was overusing the word "real". But Sarah told us to leave her room. What made that day even more depressing was that this day was her last week with us before she leaves the country for college. Since then, every time she comes home, Sarah acts like nothing happened but continues to call Robert by his first name. Robert didn't want to add fuel to the fire and just tolerated it.

And now, few years since then, my daughter announced her engagement to her long time boyfriend. We were very happy for her as they have been dating since they were still college freshmen. Two weeks before their wedding, we were wondering who would be walking Sarah down the aisle. I assumed it would be Robert since I thought we have moved passed that incident, but no. My daughter scoffed at me when I told her about Robert walking her down the aisle. She said "I thought it was obvious that Uncle Greg (my late husband's brother) would be the one to do that? Besides, I'm not his real daughter. It wouldn't make sense if he walked me down the aisle." I did not talk back, instead apologized for my ignorance and told her that I'll speak with Robert about it, since he also assumed he'd be the one to walk her down the aisle. When I told him what Sarah said, he was pissed. But I politely reminded him of the incident years ago which made him even more upset. He said that it was long time ago and that Sarah should move on.

I, who was offended for my daughter, told him that he shouldn't be upset since he doesn't see her as his real child anyway. He then got teary-eyed and told me to not speak to him. He still attended Sarah's wedding but looked visibly down. We still aren't on good terms and have been pretending in front of relatives. My daughter does not know about this and I want to keep it that way. But nevertheless, it's been a week since my daughter's wedding and Robert is still upset. He only talks to me about the twins and household stuff but beyond that, he keeps everything to himself. I feel really bad and think he is acting this way because of me. So, without being said, AITA?

My ex wife and I divorced many years ago, and she is now married to her Affair Partner. The whole ordeal just emotionally broke me because I loved her so much, and my ex wife herself admitted she was wrong and apologized to me, and that I had done nothing wrong. Her husband is now my daughter’s step dad, and my daughter has always considered him a good step dad, and she knows about the entire affair. Her step dad admittedly is multiple times richer than me, to be honest, I’ll never be as rich as him. He is probably a multi millionaire. 

When my daughter invited me to her wedding a couple of months ago and asked me to walk her down the aisle, I rejected her invitation and I asked her to ask her step dad to walk her down the aisle. I came off a bit cruel, and it hurt me when my daughter cried a lot, but I told her to not take it so seriously and that I was really happy for her. 

Last week, I walked my niece down the aisle at her wedding. It didn’t surprise me when she asked me to walk her down the aisle because I pretty much played the dad role in her life since she was young, and since her father was no longer in the picture. The whole wedding was great, and I really felt happy about it. My sister and my niece never really liked my ex wife and my daughter, especially after the affair. My niece didn’t invite them to the wedding.

My ex wife called me last night and told me that our daughter was devastated because she saw my niece’s wedding pics from her instagram, and she couldn’t believe how I was so cruel and heartless. I told her I did not walk our daughter down the aisle, because I have never really felt like her real father since the affair.

Was I the AH?

I'm 22F, my mom is 37, and I have 3 younger siblings F14, F7 and M4. Me and the 2nd oldest have different dads from each other and the other 2. They and this upcoming baby all have the same dad, our stepdad. I'm sorry if that was confusing. There are 3 dads in total but only our stepdad is involved now.

I was the babysitter and "mom" growing up. When my sister was born I magically became mom despite not even being double digits. When the others came I still was mom. I didn't get to have fun, go out, or be a kid. My job in the house was to cook, clean, raise my siblings and deal with our mom. She was incredibly immature growing up and loved to drink, party, spend money on luxuries and not be a mom. She acts more like a mom now but a lot of the work still falls on me. She robbed my of my childhood and I'm very bitter about it. The only reason I lived at home for so long was because no one would/could take me in and I felt that I could tolerate it all for free rent and food. It was a good deal for me then, but I'm 22 now. I'm done being a mom when I don't even have kids.

Last year my stepdad's parents died in a car accident and as their only child he got everything. We all moved into their home and got a bit of money under our belts so I guess they decided to have a baby. When my mom announced it I asked if she was serious. She confirmed and asked me if I still had my diaper changing skills as a joke. I was silently livid. I dryly laughed and found some roommates online that night. The thought of wasting another 10+ years raising my siblings sounded like Hell.

She found out that I'm planning on leaving come August and now she's irate calling me every name under the sun and selfish. She got my siblings involved and the youngest is crying asking why I don't love them anymore and why I'm leaving. It's really low to use kids like that and it hurts. I don't want to stay but I don't want them to cry. I know I'm doing the right thing for myself but is it the right thing for them? My mom never really parented growing up. She wouldn't, so I took over that role. I was the one who changed diapers and taught them their ABCs and all that. I was the one who cooked dinner and bathed them. I look at none of my siblings as siblings but as my own kids because that's what they basically are. I don't think she'll be able to do a good job. She and my stepdad rely on me heavily in that category.

AITA for leaving? I need advice on how to get over this feeling and move on.

My parents (82M, 75F) asked if I would help them book a much needed vacation. They also asked me to do the same for my brother (43) and SIL (33), because they wanted to take a family vacation in September. My husband (46) and I (41F) can't afford to go because i am currently out of a job. Even though this would be the first family vacation I will have ever missed and it made me really sad, I said I would of course help. My mom even mentioned to me that in a way it's good because I'd be able to watch my brother's pugs and my parents' chihuahua.

Here's the thing about watching the dogs. It's a 24/7 job that requires me to stay at my brother's house. The dogs are wonderful, but very high maintenance. Because of this, I have been telling my brother for nearly 10 years that he needed to hire a dogsitter (money isn't an issue for him).

Ive dogsat for them 3 times this past year varying from 1 to 5 nights. They paid me well. But I do not feel comfortable staying at their house and I find the round the clock care exhausting. My husband and I have 5 cats, and we are no stranger to feeling like our pets are our kids, but we don't have dogs for a reason. Now, I'm supposed to be booking this trip for my brother, but he hasn't even asked me about watching the dogs.

Sunday at family dinner, everyone is there except my SIL who was ill. My brother was sitting across from me so I reach out to hold his hand and say that I love him, I love the pugs, but I can't watch them when they go on vacation and that he needs to get a dogsitter. I said it was just too much to ask me to be trapped at their house for 7 nights, and that I have been asking him to hire a dogsitter for nearly a decade. I even offer suggestions and said I'll help find someone.

He starts to get reactive and says that they won't watch my cats anymore. I said that's fine, we have a cat sitter, but I point out that I ask them if they can help. They, on the other hand, didn't ask me.

My brother finally concedes that it is a lot to ask 7 nights and 5 dogs. Excuse me? Yes, 5 dogs, because his MIL apparently was planning to go too. So now added to the mix are 2 Italian greyhounds.

I stay calm and gently point out that I felt this way before knowing there were 5 dogs. Can he imagine how I felt? He seemed to understand. By the time I left dinner, there were hugs and kisses and all was well. I knew my brother was upset, but he seemed to understand and I was really proud of putting up boundaries.

The next evening, I call my parents to see if they have heard from my brother. Apparently he called them after he got home from family dinner and was "blindsided" by me. My SIL was just as upset as him too. They think I'm throwing a tantrum because I can't go on the vacation. While yes, that sucks, I told him my real issue is being trapped at their house for 7 nights. Now they are canceling the vacation bc I wont watch the dogs.

AITA for telling them i wont do it?

From the beginning we loved each other passionately . Everything was almost perfect until recently when i found oyt that my fiance had been hiding the fact that he has a child .I found out from his cousin who had too much to drink and decided to give a toast to our future marriage. His speech ended with some very clear hints that my fiance had been engaged before and has a daughter from that previous relationship.Later, my fiance confirmed that his drunk cousin had accidentally told the truth and that he has a 6yo daughter whom he's seen only once.

Now I feel like I need time to process this information and I don't want to smile like a hypocrite at our wedding pretending everything is fine. Given how intense and pure our relationship felt I wouldn't have minded if he already had a daughter .We had planned to have a large family with lots of kids .. He was very excited and kept telling me how he couldn't wait for us to have our first child together. Now I realize that besides hiding the existence of his daughter he also lied when he said he wanted to be a father for the first time. What kind of father abandons his daughter? What kind of father will he be to our children?

The event is already paid for ,with financial contributions from both his parents and mine. I feel like I'm in a nightmare situation that I don't know how to escape . I'm afraid of disappointing those who love me and have done nothing wrong. I'm 90% decided to call off the wedding to give myself time to think about whether to continue this relationship, but I'm tormented by the thought that I'll be the asshole in the eyes of everyone involved.Fuck, I'm crying like an idiot while writing this ...

A year ago, my husband (36) and I (37) planned to go on vacation with our children (13,10,8,2) and parents-in-law.

My husband is currently writing his doctoral thesis and I am a SAHM. We had an agreement that in addition to my housework, I would take care of everything else, organize the vacation, pack all bags and prepare the house for the long trip (couple weeks) so that he could work as much as possible to compensate for the time off, as he has a deadline to meet.

He has therefore been working 12 hours a day for the last two weeks and staying overnight at work. A few days ago, he said he wanted to go to a company party, which I agreed to since he said it would be like a bbq. He wanted to go back to work early the next day.

Last night was the party and he drank until late and slept late today, is completely hungover and has hardly worked. We are actually going on vacation in three days, I have pneumonia and still have an incredible amount of work to do. I told him I was angry about it and felt used, because I thought I was taking over so he could work, not so he could get drunk. He shouted at me. I don't want to go on vacation with him like this and now he says I'm ruining everyone's vacation and he's threatening to divorce me if I don't keep packing.

AITA?

I'm currently back in my home state with family refamiliarizing myself with the area. I have 100% decided to stay here permanently and am starting the long process of looking up homes in the area. I've been doing great and hanging out with friends and family

A couple mututals with my ex fiancee have let me know what's been happening and things finally seem to be getting better. The plan was for an intervention Sunday but Saturday night after her family visited again she called friends in an absolute manic state and it finally seems to have clicked how bad she screwed up. It was a full blown panic attack and meltdown which ended with her in the ER. Needless to say she finally admits show miserable she is and that she's messed up her life badly. Apparently she tried calling me but I had her blocked. She still has her job and that info about her losing it was wrong, but she's hanging by a thread there and her boss has bacially ordered her to use her PTO for a few weeks to get her head on straight. She's a valuable asset there and they are trying to make sure she can fix herself before they pull the plug on her.

Her friend group is extremely close. My ex was someone who was a very helpful and supportive friend so it makes sense her group is going this far in trying to help her. It is however, and unspoken agreement that if she goes back to how she was again that they are all prepared to let her sink on her own. She's doing as well as can be expected. Her family has continued to heads her with calls and messages. They've tried showing up to her house but have been firmly redirected by friends and even neighbors. I hope she truly understands the kind of support system she has. As trashy shitshow family disputes usually go, her parents and brothers have taken it to facebook, which from what I heard has been in my exes favor as it has exposed their behavior to many more people and seems to have shut them up for a little.

Finally, she had one of the mutuals pass a message to me. Essentially it was her admitting all the horrible things she said to me were not true and were done by her family (as I knew they were), she apologized for how things ended and hoped we could one day reconnect. Sadly I had to relay that we need to stay separated for good and she just needs to focus on her healing, but I told her I still care for her and I wish her the best, but this needs to be our goodbye. The message seems to have been passed along and her friends are helping her process that. She's got a long way to go but I hope she can find her peace as I am finding mine

I (27M) have been with my girlfriend, Sarah (26F), for three years. All these time i thought things were going great between us. We had already talked about moving in together and making our relationship formal you know an engagement and wedding all that was planned. However, a few months ago, She started to have some weird characters unlike hers like coming home late, and drunk, being secretive with her phone, and making excuses to avoid spending time together.

For like a week i tried to study and get to know where all this were coming from and to make it worse i started to think i was the problem why she is behaving like that. With time my gut feeling kept nagging me so I decided to do some investigating just to seek the truth. One night while she was drunk asleep i went through her phone and i checked her chats with her bestfriend because there is where all the sectrets are. I was shocked to find out that she was having an affair with one of my boys. I confronted her about it and she denied everything, even when I showed her the messages. She said they were just joking around and that I was being paranoid. I didn't buy it, but I didn't push further.

So last week was her birthday party everyone was invited including my boy lol. I said to myself i could keep hurting and pretending m okay. So after the eating and dancing it was time to talk. I decided to talk last as i wanted to hear how everybody praised our relationship then prove them wrong. When it was my turn I talked about trust and loyalty, and then I dropped the bombshell. I let everyone know that she was cheating and even sent the messages to her birthday group so everyone could see.

Everyone was shocked while she felt embarrased and ran out crying. Her family and friends came at me for humiliating her on her precious day. I left shortly after, feeling a mix of anger and relief. Now my phone keeps getting notifications from her friends calling me all sort of names . But I feel like she deserved it for betraying my trust.

So, AITAH for exposing my cheating girlfriend at her birthday party?

You get 10 million dollars a year for 10 years but every single day except Sundays at a random moment - a one hour of live streaming of whatever you are doing will take place. You have to keep it a secret, you can't tell your viewers or your friends and family or anybody the real reason why you live stream - you have to tell people you want to be a famous live streamer and that's the reason you do it. A few people with the streaming equipment will show up each day when the hour begins and take care of the streaming for you. You can't opt out of the 10 years you must complete all of them or your money and possessions will be removed and you will go to jail unless you have a very reasonable excuse. You get the $10 million at the end of each year. You are allowed private toilet breaks but they must not become excessive during live streaming times. If you are doing something private when the hour starts you'll be asked to stop and make yourself presentable. If you accept the challenge the first 24 hour period will start at midnight.

Looked up JD Vance and his wealth is listed in the millions. I wonder why only wealthy people become leaders in the U.S. (and elsewhere I assume). Wouldn’t the average person be a better choice as they truly represent the people they are governing?