r/AITAH

So I'm (31F) an adoptive mom to an 8-year-old girl named Lilly. We decided to go school supply shopping because I enrolled her in a before-school-starts program. A month before school starts, they learn some extracurricular stuff. Lily really wanted to join the program, so we went out and bought all the school supplies.

I have had problems with people stealing from Lily, so I made sure to mark everything. We bought all the required supplies, including a clear backpack. To prevent theft, I used E6000 glue to put her name on the clear backpack so no one could take it. It's bound to happen otherwise. We got a really cute pencil pouch, and I wrote her name with a Sharpie on the inside of the pouch. I also wrote her name on the box of markers and every individual marker. I did the same with the scissors and the glue stick. I basically wrote her name on everything to prevent theft.

I sent her to the program, but when Lily came home, she was upset (though not crying). Apparently, we weren't supposed to write names on the school supplies because everything was going to be mixed up and distributed to everyone. I called the teacher, and they explained that they didn't have enough money to get every single kid their own supplies, so they planned on distributing the supplies evenly. The teacher shamed Lily for it. Now, I don't know what to do.

I (f) have been married to my husband (m) for 2 years. He has a habit of sitting in the car 5-10 minutes before entering the house. I don't know why he does it, but he talked about a past traumatic experience he had when he came home and caught his ex cheating on him. Because of that he'd just spend few minutes in his car before he enters his home as response to his trauma. Now I won't say that he's wrong in coping with what happened but this has made me feel uneasy and it had caused many fights between us. Like when we have guests he'd sit outside before coming in, or when dinner is waiting on him and he'd take 10 minutes silently sitting in the car.

I was worried that something might come up and he does not respond properly. And it happened last week. My 8 yo son tripped and fell from the stairs and broke his ankle. He was in so much pain and I called my husband to come take him to the hospital and he rushed out of work but then I called and called and then I was stunned when I looked out the window and I saw him sitting outside the house in his car. I was both shocked and angry. I ran outside and I asked how long he was sitting in the car. He told me around 8 minutes. I asked why he didn't come into the house immediately to help and he said he would after 2 more minutes. I was so mad and hurt but tried to rush him and he insisted he wouldn't feel "comfortable" coming in until the 10 minutes were up. He told me to get my son ready to take him to the hospital, but I started screaming at him nonstop telling him this was a family emergency and that he was out of his mind to behave like that. It might not have been my best response but I was shocked by his behavior and quite concerned because...I had this situation always stuck in the back of mind thinking what my husband do when there's a family emergency. I ended up taking my son by myself when my neighbor intervened and offered to take us. We went to the hospital and later my husband came and tried to talk to me but I refused. I then went to stay with my mom and texted him that I wanted a divorce. He tried to rationalize and justify what he's done saying he could not help it and that he was nervous and wanted to help my son but felt stuck. I refused to reply to his messages and days later his family literally harrassed me saying I was making my husband's trauma more severe and that I disrespected his boundaries by pushing him off his limits.

I feel lost and unable to think because of the whole ordeal. My family are with me on this but they can be biased sometimes. My husband is still trying to basically talk me out of divorce saying I'm making a huge deal out of it. I feel like I no longer have trust in him especially when it comes to serious stuff like how cold he acted in a family emergency.

Edit to clarify that my son isn't his biological son. We don't have kids together.

Hi Reddit!

I (25F) have been dating Ben (27M) for 3 months. Recently, Ben started expressing discomfort with me going to my regular co-ed gym. He says that it's normal for women with boyfriends to go to all-women gyms to avoid attention from other men and to make their partners feel more secure and that his ex-girlfriend swapped gyms when they started dating.

I've been going to this gym for about a year, and I have a great routine, a supportive group of workout buddies, and I feel comfortable there. The idea of switching gyms just to make my boyfriend feel better doesn’t sit right with me. I believe trust and respect are crucial in a relationship, and this feels like a lack of trust on his part.

I tried explaining my perspective to him, but he insists that his request is reasonable and that I'm being inconsiderate of his feelings.

Since we can't agree, we've come to Reddit for opinions as we don't want to involve our families and friends. So, Reddit, AITA for refusing to switch to an all-women gym to make my boyfriend more comfortable?

UPDATE: There are so many comments now I can't possibly reply to them all! I wasn't expecting to get this many replies! Just wanted to thank you all for your thoughts and let you know after reading and discussing the comments we have decided it's best to end things. I feel the relationship won't be healthy and he thinks he needs to work on himself before being in a relationship. I was pleasantly surprised by his ability to take the criticism on board and hope this helps him become a better partner to someone in the future. I will be spending a lot more time in the gym now!!

Me and my husband have been going through a really rough patch, so I am posting this anonymously.

My husband (m33) and I (f25) have been married for three years. We have talked about children before and agreed that we both want them. The past few months our marriage has been rocky and we fight often. My husband has yelled at me more times in the six months than he has the entire six years I’ve known him.

However, I was and am still on birth control and we were not trying for a baby. Also the worst part is that both of my parents unfortunately passed away in a car accident about three months ago. They were hit by a drunk driver. My brother and I have been devastated. I miss them so terribly, especially my mom (still love you dad but nothing can replace mom). I cry every day about it.

Only about two weeks after the incident, I found out I was pregnant. I told my husband immediately, I wasn’t happy, and neither was he. His reaction was surprise and immediately trying to find ways to “fix it” while I sobbed. I did not and do not feel ready to be a mother, especially when my own mother just passed away. I always imagined myself with her in the hospital and now that will never happen. My husband crudely and off handled suggested “terminating” the pregnancy natural, aka with natural abortion methods. I told him no and he accused me of getting pregnant on purpose.

A few hours later I told my husband I wanted to terminate the pregnancy medically, and I was going to figure out how in the morning. See unfortunately we live in a state that has taken that right away. My husband was immediately disgusted with this notion- and did not want me to.

I told him I do not want to have this baby to be honest, and while I feel bad and will never feel good with my decision, it is the best one for me and them.

He was pissed. He told me no. I told him he couldn’t stop me. He said yes he could and threatened to. I knew it was all empty threats.

My husband is an attorney and he told me if anyone ever found out, it would be a horrible look on him and the practice. I said idc and no one will find out because I hadn’t even told my dr and won’t ever. He was outraged with me.

I ended up having to fly a few states over to get the pills I needed. My husband refused to go with me. I sobbed on the plane and to the clinic, and in the hotel room by myself while I bled and cramped. I sobbed on the plane home and my husband was there to pick me up even though I did not ask him to be.

He was kind until we got home. Since then he’s been ignoring me and downright disgusted with me. He won’t even look at me. I understand that it was a horrible situation but I am being punished by him for choosing what is right for me. AITAH for that?

My wife (34F) and I (34M) have been married for 9 years, and we have a 7 year old boy.

A couple of years ago, my wife herself confessed that she had a one night stand with her ex when he had come to town the previous week. I was devastated, and I really did not see any path to reconciliation, but I also had to take my son into account. My wife was extremely remorseful and she could have kept her infidelity hidden forever but she didn’t. I was still extremely sad and resentful, but my wife took all possible steps to reconciliation.

It has been 2 years, and I can say that I am at a stage where I have almost forgiven my wife, because she has pretty much done everything possible the past 2 years to show how much she loves me. Over the past few months, I have been saving for a trip to Europe with my son. My sister has settled abroad in Finland and she said she will show me around Europe.

I was initially 50-50 on whether I wanted my wife to come with us on the trip, because I still had slight resentment from her infidelity a couple of years ago. My sister however was completely against me bringing my wife to the trip, and she wanted this to be more of a sibling bonding time. She is not on speaking terms with my wife ever since I told her about my wife’s infidelity, and she said she would feel extremely uncomfortable if I brought my wife along with me.

Taking all of the above into account, I decided to book tickets and plan the trip for only me and my son. I let my wife know of all of the reasons I did not want her to come with us on the trip. My wife accepted it, but she seems extremely sad over the past few months.

My son and I are going to leave to Finland next week. Am I the AH for not taking my wife along with me on the trip? 

My (30m) youngest sister (14f) came to my workplace to tell me that she was pregnant. I was upset when I heard it because she’s so young, and the baby daddy had already ditched her. Her environment isn’t also good for any child to be living in. We were basically arguing from the very start before my wife (26f) and son (1m) arrived. She was confused as to why my sister was here but didn’t intervene and told me she could wait for me to talk to my sister, so I did.

I suggested my sister to get an abortion because she can’t even take care of herself. She sure as hell can’t take care of a baby, but she refused. I don't want to force her, so I suggested adoption, and she still refused, which annoyed me. I then asked her how she'd care for the baby. She said she'd get a job. I explained that she won’t get any legal job at 14; that's child labor, and part-time jobs won’t pay enough anyway. I asked her again, but all her responses were that she'd figure it out.

We kept going back and forth. I didn’t know how to make her realize the situation, so I tried to tell her that it wasn’t fair for an innocent child to live with its drunk grandparents and its mom struggling. She was quiet after that, then blurted out that I could house her, and the baby since I have a nice house. I didn’t straight-up refuse her, but I knew I didn’t want to take her in either. So, I asked her about other expenses. She said again that she'd figure it out later, and that was when I knew she wanted a handout and to depend on me again. So, I told her no; I wouldn’t take her in.

I said she had three options: 1. abort it, 2. adopt it out, or 3. keep it but raise it yourself. I also said if she wants to keep it, I can help with some necessities here and there, but I won’t raise her baby. She seemed to turn deaf to this part, became defensive, and yelled at me with things like “you’re my brother, you're supposed to help me” or “are you gonna leave me and the baby to fend for ourselves, you’re heartless”. That was when my wife decided to intervene because it had gotten out of hand. My sister seemed to aim her anger at my wife and said, “mind your own business, you don’t even have a job, and he provides for you and your son”.

And she wasn't done yet. She kept guilt-tripping me, and when I didn’t respond, she went back to disrespecting me and my wife. It wasn't until she said something about my wife that made me snap with something more hurtful, which made her cry and stomp out.

So WIBTA?

My husband (39m) and I (36f) have been together for 12 years and married for nearly 7. We have two children together (5m and 2f). We have a really good life and my husband is great in every way, he is extremely kind and good to me. He is an even better father. He has never so much as called me a name or raised his voice.

Within the last few months I started noticing somewhat odd interactions between he and our longtime babysitter (20f). My gut was telling me something was off, and it’s never steered me wrong in the past. For some background, I have known our sitter since I was a teen and she was a child as she was my Nextdoor neighbor, and her parents are still neighbors with my parents. Our sitter attends college in a neighboring state. My family and children are extremely close with the sitter and her family. My kids love her and she loves them. She accompanies us to community activities and also spends time with us at our home whenever she is home from school (summer, holidays, long weekends).

Now, on to the red flags. I knew my husband and our sitter texted occasionally, and didn’t mind because I thought it was infrequent and assumed it was always the sitter initiating the messages. She also occasionally texts me and also texts my husband and I in a three way message. My family and I have long suspected she has a crush on my husband, however that doesn’t bother me as I trust him, I’m confident and my sitter is young/immature. Also, not to be rude, but as far as your stereotypical beauty standards go, I am far more attractive than she is. A few months ago I started noticing that she knew things that had happened within my family, such as spats between my sisters, etc. I asked her how she knew about them, and she responded that my husband was texting her when it happened. I found that to be really strange and somewhat innapropriate. Next, there were two nights recently where she spent the night to spend time with the kids (again she LOVES them) while I was working an overnight. I learned afterwards that the two of them stayed up watching movies together into the night after putting our kids to sleep. Maybe not so strange? My husband NEVER initiates hanging out with me after the kids go to bed. We usually sleep separately, each with one of our kids, because they love co-sleeping. We are aware we need to break that habit :) but I’m being honest for the sake of this story. So I’m immediately hurt that he is staying up late and watching movies with our sitter, and doesn’t do the same with me, and also find it really strange and inappropriate.

Last Sunday, my son was watching Netflix on my husband’s phone and I saw a message come in from the sitter. I take the phone and tap on it. Prior to this I have never ever looked, or wanted to look, through anyone’s phone other than my own. But my gut had been telling me that something is up, so I looked. I scrolled back a ways and saw that they were texting A LOT. Sometimes about the kids, but usually not. It was consistent messaging on almost a daily basis, if not daily. They both initiated conversation with varying topics. He texts her more frequently than he does me, say when I’m gone 9-36 hours a day at work.

I found this constant communication to be super concerning and not okay for a married man to be engaging with a 20 year old female, twenty years his junior. Never mind the power imbalance at play in a situation like this given the age gap and the fact that we regularly employ her and supplement her income! I confronted him right away, and his excuse was that “she is family, she is my friend, I thought you text her all the time, nothing has happened”. Nope, didn’t accept his dumb ass response. I asked him if one of his married friends were to be interacting with their babysitter like this, if he thought it was okay. He said No. I asked if he thought their wives would be okay, he said No.

I let him know that I want to separate and live separately. He of course did not want this. Part of me thinks financials play a role as I make 3x what he makes, and he could not live in this expensive city without my income. Tough. I haven’t spoken to him in 3 days and have made it a point to be working or at my mom’s with the kids so I don’t have to see him. He has been messaging me, but I’ve barely responded.

I would love and really appreciate some outside perspective. AITA? Am I overreacting?

For anyone interested in an update of:

Yesterday, when I confided in my best friend about being excluded from my sister's baby shower, she shared that she believes my family doesn't like me because of years of negative influence from my mother's judgmental behavior. Growing up, my mother's harsh words and actions shaped my sister and nieces' perceptions of me, making it difficult for them to see me differently now that they are adults. My best friend told me that when we were teens and in our 20s, my mom scared her and our other friends.

Reflecting on my past, I remembered a time 25 years ago (when I was 15) when I decided to tell my grandparents about life at home. Unfortunately, my grandma urged me not to interfere with my mother's happiness, leading me to seek refuge at my best friend's house instead. Recalling these memories prompted me to reach out to my granddad, to see how he would react this time (my dad died, so I only have him now).

My granddad knows I cut contact with my mother and sister when I was excluded from my moms retirement party a few years ago. Back then, I had shared with him my feelings of exclusion from family events over the years and the animosity I felt from my sister and nieces, whenever I entered the room. Despite expressing my need for support, my granddad's response was disappointing. Even though he said he would sort his daughter out (my mom), it turns out, my mom created a false narrative about my mental health struggles, saying I was going through menopause at 38 (!) and that I have become unstable. My period and cycles are just fine. Anyways, when I told my granddad about being excluded from my sisters babyshower last sunday, he ignored my message. I've been on read for almost 2 days now. I understand I am almost 40 now, and he's an old man, so maybe he just wants to be left alone at his old age, which I understand completely.

It's a complex and emotional situation to me, but I'm navigating it as best as I can for my own well-being and that of my children. I think that my best friend is SPOT ON in saying that my sister grew up listening to how my mom berated me and mistreated me. She will probably never see me in a different light, so I will have to accept it and move on.

Thank you to everyone for opening my eyes and being so kind about it. I saved all of your messages in a word file, so I can read them whenever I feel a bit down! If I have any good updates in the future, I will update here!

When we got home Joe's parents were there. Me, Matt, Joe and his parents had a talk. They asked me how can I let Matt treat him this way and that a wife should back her husband up.

Before I could talk, Matt said and a Man who marries a mother should treat her kids like his own but he hasn't been doing that for the past 15 years. I asked Matt what is he talking about.

He said everytime I went on one of my teacher conferences or went on vacation, Joe would leave him at home by himself and take the other boys out to do something fun. He always disguised it as it was kid stuff and I wouldn't like it, but tell you I didn't want to go.

At 18 he actually planned on moving out but Covid happened so he just decided to stay. I asked Joe if it was true and he looked at me and said yea, he shouldn't have to take care of someone else's kid.

His parents looked disgusted and his Dad just went off on him and said he didn't raise him like this. I yelled at him and told him to get the fuck out. He pleaded that he was sorry and that he realized that he was wrong with how he felt.

His dad told him to leave and when my husband tried to get in their car to go home with them, they said absolutely not and that he was on his own.

He tried going to his brothers house but when he heard the full story he said no because he has kids and would be upset if their stepmom treated them horribly.

From what I heard he's staying with a friend. I had divorce papers given to him at his job. He texted me and asked if we can meet.

We met at a cafe, and he said he was really sorry and has been for a long time. And that he never meant to hurt me or Matt but that he said it was hard to love another man's child.

I just left. He's filed the papers so I guess our divorce is about to start. I apologized to Matt for being a bad mom. He's fine, and our oldest son heard the conversation and doesn't want anything to do with his dad, the youngest 2 still spends time with him.

I'm (28m) married to my wife (27f) for a year, we have been together for 5 years recently my sil my wife's sister is getting too close to me, it is creeping me out so much, I thought her sister as my own sister so we used to hug and I would kiss her forehead on her birthday or any other special day

Recently she started hugging me alot, I didn't mind it, but when I texted her and asked her why is she hugging me so frequently is she going through a bad time?? I'm her family she can always tell me and I'll help her, her reply was because she wanted it, she asked me if I liked it or not cause she did

I didn't say anything after that but after a few days she asked me to meet her at a cafe to talk, this is when I thought this is going too far, so I confessed everything to my wife and showed our chat, I begged her to defuse the situation as calmly as possible but she went crazy

She cut all contacts with my sil and when her parents tried to help she cut them off as well, she blocked everyone from her family on my phone and told me if I ever try to contact them she'll beat the shit out of me, lol guess she got too angry

Now everyone in my family is saying I went to far, I should have talked to my sil first and cleared it instead of telling my wife and I am the reason why our family is broken, so they stopped talking to me as well

Now I feel like a jerk and think this is all my fault

So, I'm 15F, and I'm the oldest of four kids. My siblings are 10, 7, and 4. My parents both work full-time, and since my mom got promoted last year, she works longer hours now. This means a lot of the household responsibilities and taking care of my siblings fall on me after school and on weekends.

I get my siblings from school, help with their homework, cook dinner, and sometimes put them to bed if my parents are late. I don't mind helping out, but it's gotten to the point where I barely have any time for myself or my friends. I'm also starting high school this year, and I have a lot of homework and extracurriculars that I need to focus on.

Last weekend, I had plans to go to a friend's birthday party. I told my parents about it weeks in advance, and they said it was fine. But the night before the party, my mom told me she had to work late on Saturday and that I needed to watch my siblings. I was really upset and told her I had plans, but she said family comes first and that I should be responsible.

I ended up missing the party, and I was really angry about it. Later that night, when my parents got home, I told them that they should have thought twice before having more kids if they couldn't handle taking care of them without relying on me all the time. My dad got really mad and said I was being disrespectful and selfish. My mom looked hurt and told me I don't understand how hard it is to balance work and family.

Now things are really tense at home, and I feel guilty for what I said. I know my parents are doing their best, but I also feel like I'm missing out on my own life because of all the responsibilities I have. AITA for saying what I said

My gf and I got invited to this engagement party that my friend from undergrad has. I found out later that a girl, I'll call her Erin, and I went on a few dates with in undergrad was going. Normally, this wouldn't matter at all, but after I told her I wasn't feeling a romantic spark but we could be friends, Erin flipped out on me. She would send me tons of voicemails telling me I was leading her on, I was shallow (not sure what prompted this, never told her I didn't like her because of her appearance), and I wouldn't find anyone else but her, etc. etc. It's been several years since undergrad so I assumed that she would have hopefully chilled out or have forgotten about me.

Fast forward to the party, me and my gf are mingling and my gf is very nice and friendly so she's getting along with everyone. I run into Erin and she immediately makes a comment in a snide tone: "Oh, hey! I didn't know you'd be here. Almost didn't recognize you with the dad bod." I just say hello and try to ignore her but she's kind of following me for a bit. She makes another snide comment when she saw my gf from afar by saying: "She's so thin! I always knew that was your type!" and I ask Erin to please leave me alone for the night and she just stomps away.

I find my gf and we are hanging out and having fun until Erin comes up to us and makes a comment: "Oh, Thin_Fold_46, who is this?" My gf introduces herself politely before I could say something and compliments Erin's nails. Erin doesn't even introduce herself and says in a condescending tone: "I wish I could pull off the dress you're wearing but I think it only works for people with small boobs."

I try to keep my cool because we are all way too old for this but I became really agitated with Erin making comments about people's bodies. I snapped back and said "I think it'd be difficult to pull off for you in the waist area. If you want to know where we got this dress, I'd be happy to send you the link in a bigger size."

Erin immediately recoils. She doesn't say anything and leaves. Later that night, a few mutual friends came up to me saying they saw Erin sobbing and told them I called her fat and ruined her night. My gf tells me Erin was projecting her insecurities onto us and she wasn't even mad, just sad for her. I admit it was not the most mature move I've done, but how unwarranted was my comment? AITAH?

TL;DR: A girl who used to like me made bodyshaming comments about me and my gf and I made one back.

I (52M) have 2 kids Jay (26M) and Katie (17F). to make the post easier to understand I'll give some info upfront, my wife passed a way 9 years ago. My son is FTM trans and had not yet transitioned at the time. Growing up my son always had a fascination with his mother's wedding dress and she always told him he could wear it to his wedding. The dress was never willed to him or anything of the sort, it has remained in my care since my wife passed. My son and I have never discussed his mother's wedding dress at all. My daughter frequently says she wants to wear it to her wedding some day.

Well my son recently proposed to his long term girlfriend Valorie (26F) we've all been very excited for them. They're currently in the early stages of wedding planning and my son came to my house recently asking for "his dress". I was a bit confused and asked what he meant. He said he wanted his mother's wedding dress to repurpose so he could wear it at his wedding. He did specify that he wanted to do this to feel like he has a piece of his mother at his wedding. I asked if it would be possible to make the alterations reversable as his sister also want's to wear the dress. He looked at me like I had two heads and told me the wedding dress would most likely be torn apart and the fabric sewn into different pieces of clothing, but that would be for him and Valorie to decide. I told him I couldn't give him the dress if he was gonna alter it in a way that would make it unusable for his sister.

He started to get pissed and said he can do anything he wants with it as it's his. I told him his mother intended for him to wear it as a dress, not destroy it. ( I know she would never allow that, she loved her wedding dress, and it meant a lot to her as it was a gift from her grandmother who unfortunately passed away about 8 months after the wedding). My Son turned this into a huge argument and accused me of being transphobic. He claims that if he was a girl I would have no problem with him taking the dress. I told him I would have the same stipulations as I personally view it as unfair that one child gets to use it and the other doesn't. My son escalated things and has gotten other relatives involved. My sister thinks I'm being a massive asshole and that my wife never said Katie could have the dress so it shouldn't go to her in the first place. while my wife's parents are saying I'm in the right. (I'm no contact with my parents and most of my extended family due to how they responded to Jay transitioning so these are the most important people in my life.) Katie has told me she does still want to wear the dress, but she'll let Jay have it if it's gonna break apart the family. I'm still conflicted about the whole thing, but am putting my foot down for now. So AITAH?

TL;DR: My trans son wants to repurpose his mother's wedding dress, I said no as my younger daughter wants to wear it to her wedding.

My husband (42M) and I (34F) are happily married and have decided not to have children. We've worked incredibly hard over the years, building a comfortable life for ourselves, and we plan to enjoy it to the fullest. Our dream is to have a nice pension that allows us to travel and experience the world together.

I have two sisters, both of whom have children. They are both in debt and, quite frankly, not great with money. Recently, they have been vocal about their expectations that my husband and I will leave our estate to their children when we pass. They seem to think that since we don't have kids, we should automatically bequeath everything to our niece and nephew.

I love my niece and nephew dearly, but I don't think it's fair to expect us to give away everything we've worked so hard for. My husband and I want to use our savings to enjoy our retirement and the fruits of our labor. We've saved and sacrificed to build our standard that we love and we feel we deserve to spend it as we see fit.

When I told my sisters about our plans, they were furious. They accused us of being selfish and not caring about the family. They argue that their kids could really use the money for their futures. I countered that it's not our responsibility to fix their financial problems or to fund their children's futures. They called me heartless and greedy, which really hurt.

I understand that they are in a tough spot financially, but I don't think it's right to rely on us as their financial safety net. Am I the asshole for wanting to enjoy my retirement with my husband and not bequeath our estate to my nieces and

Just to be clear, it's not that I don't care about my family. I've helped my sisters out financially in the past when they were in tight spots, and my husband and I paid out my parents loan. But I feel there's a difference between helping out occasionally and handing over everything we've worked for once we're gone. Still my sisters managed to make me feel guilty and like AH.

So am I (we) TAH ?

I (18F) have been on and off with a guy named Jared (26M) for almost a year now, it's one of those toxic relationships that you keep coming back to. anywayy one night he came over after a nasty argument from the day before, we agreed we needed to see each other and handle it in person. We talked our problems out and everything was better. We even had makeup sex he gave me my first ever creampie! ughh it felt fucking amazing getting filled up. But then afterwards when we were laying in bed he asked me "Would you ever get a boobjob?"

This got me a little offended and i asked him why? Then he replied with "Don't get me wrong your hot as fuck but i think with some bigger tits you'd be even hotter" i didn't even know how to react when he said this... i just brushed it off and said maybe haha. To be fair my boobs are only B cups but i never thought he wanted them bigger. I thought guys like natural boobs more than fake ones, im also really petite so i think getting a boobjob would make it disproportioned to my body..

Later on i brought it up again because it annoyed me. He told me im overreacting and it's not a big deal but i said it's something im insecure about and he shouldn't have asked me that. After more arguing i told him to leave then kicked him out of my apartment.

I feel kinda bad but i also think this is a sign to move on. it's a toxic relationship and i know i need to get out... if you know anyone preferably older that doesn't care about small boobs PLS send them my wayy!! i wanna experiment and hopefully find someone else <33

I grew up with my family and another family whose parents were best friends with mine since high school. My parents had me (F28) and my two older brothers (M31 and M35), while their friends had four boys (M27, M29, M30, and M37).

Growing up was pretty nice, but the boys used to pick on me a lot and exclude me during their "girls are yucky" phase. I wouldn't say I see these boys as brothers, but maybe as cousins.

I was close to M27 and M29 when we were little. I will call them Adam and Jake. Until we were 15, we were really close and did a lot together.

I don't talk to Jake much anymore. No hard feelings, but he grew up to be a classic tech bro and can be pretty condescending. However, our families are obsessed with the idea of us ending up together. The other guys are already married, and Adam is gay. They've always pushed for us to be together (making us go to the store alone at Christmas, telling us both an earlier time to meet at the restaurant for Dad's birthday, talking him up a lot, etc.).

Then both Jake and I met our SOs. I have been with my fiancé for 5 years, and Jake met his fiancée 3 years ago. Our families have been very disappointed and have not welcomed our SOs warmly. One Christmas, I took Jake's fiancée, Tracy, aside and explained the weird family lore to her. With Jake (just like we did with my fiancé), we assured her that it was just a weird thing of our family and that Jake and I have not been close for ages and have never had more than a friendly relationship. Ironically, having to stand against our parents made us all a little closer.

But we come to the problem. Jake and Tracy are going to get married soon, and it has been chaos. Our parents have upped their antics by 2000%. Family dinners are full of "ahh we thought you two would get married." They brought out a picture I apparently drew of me and Jake when we were little of us getting married (I suspect they made it. It did not look like it was made by an actual child). They were cornering Tracy about making me the matron of honor and letting me wear white (what??). Also, his brothers and my brothers joined in, making jokes about us being star-crossed lovers and calling me "the missus." I distanced myself heavily from my family during that time and stopped going home after talking to them did nothing.

One day, one of my brothers invited me out. He said it was just my two brothers and me. So, I went to his apartment, and when I arrived, it was Jake's bachelor party. One of his brothers screamed out that the "stripper" was here (fucking ew). I wanted to leave, but the next train left close to 12 a.m., and it was not the safest neighborhood. So, I stayed. They tried to make me drunk, were constantly physically pushing me and Jake together, and even locked us in my brother's bedroom. I could hear loud laughing from the other side. Jake and I did not talk much. He apologized to me and asked me if I could not come to the wedding as I made Tracy uncomfortable. I completely understood and said at that point I was not planning to go anymore.

He offered to drive me home as he was also completely sober. When they opened the door, he said we were going home. In their heads, that meant we were going to be intimate or something because all the caveman sounds started.

The next day, my phone was blowing up. Someone uploaded a video of me and Jake leaving and captioned it "finally." It was very awkward. I am clearly uncomfortable, and so is Jake as we exit the apartment and enter his car. There were comments, calls, and texts. Tracy called me crying and cursing me out. Jake called me apologizing and telling me he tried to explain. My mother and his mother sent me a bunch of texts saying how proud they are and that it was about time. My fiancé is understanding, but he wants me to make clearer boundaries with my family.

I drove past their house, and they were all there. They didn't even let me talk and were just love-bombing me. I started screaming and told them Jake and I have never and will never be together and I will not be leaving my loving fiancé. That I would not be going to Jake's wedding, and if they kept up with this, I would cut every single one of them off because I am tired and just want to live my life and not their incest fairy tale.

By the end of my meltdown, my mother and his mother were crying, and my father just told me to get out.

Since then, I have been getting messages from my brothers calling me a bitch for treating my family like that because they only wanted the best for me.

So, AITAH?

Edit: no an, uber was not an option. Taxis and ubers are ungodly expensive here. Thus is take the freaking train.

Also no we don't have a car.

Tracy was away and my fiance had a night shift

Hello, some things happened over the weekend, my aunt came home (I live with my mother) and told my mom what happened.

My mother hates my dad for obvious reasons, but still she's been really nice to him and tried to keep us out of all those problems they have. My mother is honestly a saint.

My sister is an eight-year-old girl and she really hates Ana. Ana once tried to get along with my sister and told her about the times she wanted to commit suicide and how my dad saved her, after that my sister came home asking my mother if she had ever thought about committing suicide.

That's not a question an eight-year-old girl should ask and my sister even asked me questions about suicide after that, I don't really know what else exactly Ana said to her but it definitely affected her as a little girl, it's not even something you should talk about with a girl of that age, my mother was furious and since that day she forbids my father to have my younger sister near Ana as she considers her a dangerous and unstable person around children. Since that day things have been really tense between my father and my mother, my little sister doesn't want to visit our father so she is fine with this.

My aunt told my mother that Ana talked about it again but this time in front of me, apparently my father and Ana were totally forbidden to talk about these things in front of me too. I'm not a little kid but apparently that was the arrangement my mother made with my father when she set boundaries for them.

My aunt told her what happened that day and I confessed to my mother that Ana and my father talk a lot about those suicide attempts in front of me which is something I should have talked about before but at that moment I didn't wanted problems and decided to just ignore them. I told my mom that for that reason I am not going to my father's house anymore and my mother got very upset with him, the next day she went to talk to my father.

I don't know what they talked about, she just came back saying that Ana can't get close to us anymore. She told me that she can't forbid me from being near my father and that's my decisión but Ana is extremely forbidden to set foot in the same place where I and my sister are. My paternal grandparents agreed and my aunts too, they knew about the situation with my younger sister.

I haven't spoken to my father, but my cousin told me that my father argued with my grandfather. He often says that Ana is a good person and we don't understand the pain she suffered, so I guess he's upset with all of us now for our great lack of empathy (as he always says). I don't know, at least now I won't see them for a while.

It was a boring update but that's what happened haha

So, a few years back my (40M) fiancé (39F) and I were talking on the phone. She was a flight attendant, and not home very often, and she brought up breaking up because "I deserved someone who could be there for me." I didn't want to, but after a few days, I agreed to split up, because it was apparent that this is what she wanted, and was on the way out already. It broke my heart.

A few months later, she called me to talk, asked is I was seeing someone (I had started talking to someone) and she said she was "getting to know someone" as well. Turns out, it was a male flight attendant she worked with. A few months before we split up, I had confronted her about this coworker. As soon as they met, they started going out to eat, getting drinks, scheduling flights together, she'd talk about him all the time, etc. I'm normally not a jealous man, but I felt like there was something going on there. When she told me she was with him, I lost my shit. I confronted him, and he said he knew nothing about me, and that they had began "getting to know one another" the same day that she insinuated that we split up. How ironic. So I ask her for the truth, and she continues feeding me lies. She says they're not together, just getting to know one another, nothing happened before we split up, etc. Bullshit. Anyway, I catch her in a number of lies, including the fact that the guy is still currently married. I have her an opportunity to tell me the truth, and she again lies to me. Frustrated, I contact the guys wife, and tell her all about the situation.

The wife says that it all makes sense now. He husband was "getting called up for unexpected flights" quite a lot recently, and was withdrawing hundreds of dollars each time. She wondered what it was all about, but now she knew. Her husband was cheating on her with my, now ex, fiancé, who was apparently living a double life as a prostitute. Turns out, they were only "getting to know" each other's anatomy, and she was "getting to know" others as well.

My ex flipped out on me, the wife filed for divorce, and lots of painful revelations were made, including the fact that she was never faithful to me and was moonlighting as a sex worker. AITAH?

My husband, Alex (31M), and I(28F) have been married for three years. Recently, we moved closer to his family due to work.

My sister-in-law, Emma (24F) has always been overly touchy with Alex, even before we got married. She would hug him for a little too long or sit unnecessarily close to him. I noticed it, but I chalked it up to her being affectionate. However, since we moved closer, her behavior has escalated.

Where do I even start? Emma has this bizarre habit of not just flirting, but practically throwing herself at Alex. It's not just innocent compliments; it's full-on, suggestive remarks that leave everyone cringing. Like, she once told him at a family gathering that he must have "fantastic stamina" because he looked so fit. What?! Who tf says that to their brother?!

And the touching—oh, the touching. Emma conveniently "accidentally" brushes up against Alex all the time, and not just his arm or shoulder. No, we're talking about her hands finding their way to his thighs and legs, which Alex has told me made him very uncomfortable. She also "accidentally" drops things and bends over in front of him, making suggestive comments that leave both of us feeling uneasy. It's not just me noticing; my friends who've met her have commented on how she acts around him. It's beyond uncomfortable; it's downright creepy.

Emma apparently thinks it's perfectly normal to prance around the house in a bikini whenever Alex is around. I'm not talking about a modest swimsuit; I mean something straight out of Sports Illustrated. It's like she's trying to turn our home into a tropical resort where Alex is the unwilling lifeguard.

And the worst part? She sends him gifts. Not just any gifts, mind you, but lingerie. Lingerie! Who in their right mind sends lingerie to their brother?! She claims they're just "gag gifts," but come on, Emma, we all know what you're trying to pull.

When I spoke to Alex about it afterward, he admitted how uncomfortable Emma's behavior makes him. He confessed that he's been struggling to find a way to address it without causing a rift in the family.

I've tried to brush it off, but it reached a breaking point last week when we hosted a small dinner party. Emma showed up wearing a revealing outfit that was completely inappropriate for a family gathering. I'm talking about a neckline plunging so low, you could practically see her belly button. She spent the entire evening finding excuses to brush up and rub against Alex, even when I was standing right next to him. It was mortifying, infuriating, and frankly, it made my blood boil. I couldn't take another second of Emma's blatant attempts to seduce my husband right in front of me. I called her out, in front of everyone, telling her how her behavior was disgusting and disrespectful to our marriage. I demanded she stop treating Alex like some kind of forbidden fruit she's desperate to taste.

Emma, of course, stormed out, tears flowing, accusing me of ruining her fun and claiming she was just being friendly. But it didn't end there. Oh no, my in-laws—Alex and Emma's parents—decided to weigh in, and their response was beyond belief. They accused me of having a "dirty mind" and insinuated that I was making something innocent between siblings so disgusting and inappropriate. They even went as far as to suggest that I was jealous of Emma or insecure in my marriage. Alex is torn, he says while he appreciates that I stood up for him and our marriage but if we had just brushed it off it would have been better because its not like we had to see Emma everyday.

So, AITA here for confronting my sister-in-law? Should I have continued to endure her antics silently, or was it about time someone put a stop to Emma's shameless and utterly inappropriate behavior? Because honestly, I feel like I'm living in some messed-up version of "Sweet Home Alabama," and it's high time this drama came to an end

About 6 months ago I (38m) found out my Wife(38F) was having an affair with the neighbor (28M) a full blown going on dates, pet names and constant hookups whenever and wherever. She also claimed to be sober for 12 years and was drinking constantly and this guy was a big part of that too. I filed for divorce the next day and discovered so much more after, it was disgusting. Fast forward to a couple days ago, I’m outside my apartment complex and see a new face using the laundry room, give a smile say hi. She comes back a little later and she is walking a dog. Lo and behold it’s this dudes dog. The dog that was the constant excuse of why I would see them outside talking and it was always me just tripping that they kept running into each other outside. The dog that my Wife was just being friendly too, why are you worried about this guy. So of course I’m pissed and realized this is his girl and my suspicions of he kicked my Wife to the curb just recently are probably correct. In the nicest way possible I say to this girl “Hey that’s Shaggy right ?” She gets all excited and says “O you know Shaggy ?” I say “Yes of course, that’s Joel’s dog, you must be his girlfriend” She says “O cool so you know Joel ?” I say “Ya he is a real piece of shit!!!” She just stands there with the most awkward smile on her face and is speechless. I proceed to tell her him and my Wife were having an affair and he knew she was married with kids and everything. Told her how they had been doing this for at least a year that I could tell and were still hooking up just recently. Her mind is blown, she is visibly shaking. She starts telling me she is finding a lot of stuff out about him recently and maybe he isn’t the person she thought he was. She ask for more details and timelines so I tell her. She confirms he admitted to her recently he was seeing someone for awhile but stopped months ago, which he obviously didn’t, and keeps asking if he knew she was married. She says they have been dating for a year but weren’t always exclusive. I assure her I’m not lying and even show her some messages and tell her I seen him walking to her new place down the road just a month ago. She is fighting back tears and heads out. She comes back a few hours later and I’m still outside playing with my kids. She looks like she has been crying the whole time. Her eyes are bloodshot her face is swollen and she looks completely out of it. I tell her sorry maybe I could have broke the news a little easier but that dude is a real piece of shit and would even try to act like some tough guy to my Wife and talk shit about me. Yet when I ran up on him and checked him he started screaming and pulled out his phone to record me and ran away. I asked her if she wanted to know more and she quivered and said “I don’t know what this is anymore and I can’t be a part of whatever you guys have going on” it was a weird comment and I feel like she confronted him and he made me out to be a crazy liar, granted my Wife would lie and say I was mean and abused her to get sympathy from him, even tho it was the other way around. It’s a few days later now and I feel kind of bad I might have fucked up this girls whole world. But I found out my Wife’s friends knew about her affair and encouraged her and I just wish if someone knew they would have told me. AITAH ?

TL;DR : Told the girlfriend of the guy my Wife cheated with everything that I discovered they were doing. She thought they were exclusive for months and definitely didn’t know the person her boyfriend had been seeing before was a married woman. that he knew was married and had kids.

Divorced a year before l started dating again. Dated girl for 5 months or so when caught her texting with her ex. First red flag. Talked about it and both agreed we wouldn’t talk with exes and be exclusive. All good and going well. Fast forward another 3 months and on a trip overseas. Head to Vegas and LA and planned to go to NY.

She asks me to check out her ticket in her phones app to see about baggage size. I can’t see anything about carryon and hit share to see if I can get more booking info. The first people that pop up are her most recent conversations.

The first one is a random guy I’ve never heard/seen before. As I hand the phone back to her I tell her I hit share and that it goes to the most recent friends she has spoken with. She denies speaking to this guy and then after asking again she admits to texting him the day before.

I ask if there’s a past or what’s going on, she says friend. How long they been chatting? They are just friends and been chatting a while. Did they date before us? No they were just friends. Where did they meet? On Tinder.

At this point i say, if you are just friends and have been so, show me the message. Otherwise everything you have said about this is a lie. She doesn’t and stonewalls.

I mention that I’d like to end the relationship once we get back to our home country. What’s her plan? We still have the NY leg to do…?

She doesn’t have a plan and then says she will go back early. I agree and we part ways at LAX.

Aitah?

I have this thing that when men, who I know are in committed monogamous relationships, slide into my dms trying to flirt with me or even just react "�?�" to selfies I post in my story, I let their girlfriends know.

Why? Because if my man did that, I'd want to know. Also because it feels wrong not letting the girl know that her bf is very obviously thirsting over other girls, to the point he tries to initiate conversations with them. To me, thats borderline cheating. Because we all know that if the girl showed interest back, he'd end up cheating. I think any girl would wanna know and it gives them a chance to dodge a bullet before it's too late. As someone who's been cheated on, I wish people would've let me known about this kind of behavior before I wasted any more time on them.

Regardless, a few of my friends think I should mind my own business and not try to ruin a strangers relationship.

Am I the asshole?

So I (35F) will preface this by acknowledging I have overwhelming feelings of jealousy towards my younger sister, Sarah (33F), and I need to know if these feelings are warranted or if I need to get over myself?

TL;DR sister is very beautiful and has a history of cheating with my partners and on her partners. She wants to stay with me and my new husband when she visits, I don't want her around him.

For context: Sarah is very beautiful and always has been, so my siblings and I grew up in her shadow while she flourished in the sun. It was difficult to be deprived of basic care and affection while it was showered on her, but we got through adolescence… not without injury though. She is, and always has been, incredibly selfish and has caused us a great deal of pain through her thoughtless actions:

• She all but slept with my first ever boyfriend and left me to find out from friends months later.

• She slept with our good friend's longterm boyfriend and didn't tell anyone until it came out.

Now, I tried to forgive her for these actions as I understood she was a minor and potentially taken advantage of by the older boys. Fine, but then:

• A few years later I was in a situationship with a boy. She started dating him within days of knowing this.

• She was dating another man for years, John. She got bored and started banging random dudes while John was at work. He forgave her, they worked it out, and then….

• Her best friend was in love with a guy and told Sarah, so Sarah promptly cheated on John with this guy and ran off with him. My sister was in her early 20s at this point. An adult, no excuses anymore.

Sarah has made it clear through her behaviours that she isn’t an ally, and that’s she doesn’t respect the relationships of others. That’s fine, I have always still cared for her, but I emigrated far away 5 years ago. In that time she will periodically freak out on me for no reason and delete and block me on all socials for MONTHS at a time. It is serious whiplash and I’ve learned not to trust the stability of our relationship. She also did not visit me in the country I first emigrated to, but has travelled to foreign, expensive and exotic destinations with her husband numerous times since then. She has no real job and has always said she doesn’t have the money to visit me, but I recently moved to another country she DOES want to visit… suddenly she has the funds to visit me! But I don’t want her staying with me when she does. Am I wrong for this?

I have a husband (38M) that she has never met, and I don’t feel comfortable with them meeting. It destroyed me when she cheated with my high school partner, and I can’t stand the thought of my husband being attracted to her. That’s my biggest fear, that she will come here in her skimpy outfits and my husband will start fantasising about her. I can't control who he is attracted to but it hurts me to even imagine that. It is an overwhelming jealousy that I can’t deal with, so I have told Sarah she can’t stay with me when visits. Sarah is upset with me and thinks she should be able to stay at my house when she visits this country because she is my sister and it will help them with travel costs. I say that she is welcome to visit and can find herself accomodation in the vicinity, but she can’t stay with us as I am a stepparent now and need to have the house available for when the stepchildren visit. I have no intention of “blending” these lives and won’t be introducing Sarah to stepkids, in-laws etc. Am I the asshole? Should I be welcoming her into my newly-created family with open arms, letting her stay here, and facing my fear of my husband being attracted to my sister? Or is the jealousy justified?

My (43m) husband thinks it’s funny to constantly slap me (43f) in the privates all day everyday. He sneaks up behind me and will stick his finger in my ass or slap my vagina. He does this in front of the kids. Once or twice is one thing but this is at least 10 times a day. Tonight I was in the shower washing my face and he came in and slapped my privates. He knows I don’t like it. I’ve told him. I also have bad hemorrhoids after having the kids so when he sticks his finger there it hurts! He knows this. (Sorry for the tmi but I’m pissed). After the shower tonight I slapped him in the face. Not hard but hard enough to sting. His reaction was to punch me in the stomach and tell me he wants a divorce for hurting him. He’s never done that before and in my opinion wayyyy overreacted. After 11 years of marriage that was a first and he said I’m the AH. Meanwhile I’m ready to leave and take the kids tonight. I know his reaction was not okay but was I out of line?

UPDATE: wow I am so overwhelmed with all the encouragement and kind posts. I had a few not so friendly ones and I wish you’d refrain from making me feel worse by saying hurtful stuff. Unfortunately this is true and I is don’t make it up. I do feel the need to clarify a few things since I seem to have not chosen the best wording in my hasty post yesterday.

1. He has not been doing this for year. This started a couple weeks ago. We both work from home and are home 24/7.

2. No I do not walk around naked. He’s poking my butt through my clothes so not penetrating but it hurts and he knows that

3. My children are safe as am I. I did call police last night and had him removed from the home. I’ve started to talk to a lawyer and will move things along as needed

4. My husband did call today and I had shut my phone off for a while, hence the late update, but he of course is apologizing and doesn’t want to divorce. He offered counseling so we will look into that. I don’t know how I feel just yet about trying to make this work but we will see.

Thank you all again for reaching out. I haven’t been able to reply to everyone yet but I will try.