Q&As

Should I do anything about it? She said she was creeped out, and had to cut her run short. She also said he followed her around the gym until she could find someone else her age and acted like she knew him.

Maybe call the gym and alert them?

Edit: I notified the gym, and they are now aware of him. My cousin is the manager.

So I'm (31F) an adoptive mom to an 8-year-old girl named Lilly. We decided to go school supply shopping because I enrolled her in a before-school-starts program. A month before school starts, they learn some extracurricular stuff. Lily really wanted to join the program, so we went out and bought all the school supplies.

I have had problems with people stealing from Lily, so I made sure to mark everything. We bought all the required supplies, including a clear backpack. To prevent theft, I used E6000 glue to put her name on the clear backpack so no one could take it. It's bound to happen otherwise. We got a really cute pencil pouch, and I wrote her name with a Sharpie on the inside of the pouch. I also wrote her name on the box of markers and every individual marker. I did the same with the scissors and the glue stick. I basically wrote her name on everything to prevent theft.

I sent her to the program, but when Lily came home, she was upset (though not crying). Apparently, we weren't supposed to write names on the school supplies because everything was going to be mixed up and distributed to everyone. I called the teacher, and they explained that they didn't have enough money to get every single kid their own supplies, so they planned on distributing the supplies evenly. The teacher shamed Lily for it. Now, I don't know what to do.

I (f) have been married to my husband (m) for 2 years. He has a habit of sitting in the car 5-10 minutes before entering the house. I don't know why he does it, but he talked about a past traumatic experience he had when he came home and caught his ex cheating on him. Because of that he'd just spend few minutes in his car before he enters his home as response to his trauma. Now I won't say that he's wrong in coping with what happened but this has made me feel uneasy and it had caused many fights between us. Like when we have guests he'd sit outside before coming in, or when dinner is waiting on him and he'd take 10 minutes silently sitting in the car.

I was worried that something might come up and he does not respond properly. And it happened last week. My 8 yo son tripped and fell from the stairs and broke his ankle. He was in so much pain and I called my husband to come take him to the hospital and he rushed out of work but then I called and called and then I was stunned when I looked out the window and I saw him sitting outside the house in his car. I was both shocked and angry. I ran outside and I asked how long he was sitting in the car. He told me around 8 minutes. I asked why he didn't come into the house immediately to help and he said he would after 2 more minutes. I was so mad and hurt but tried to rush him and he insisted he wouldn't feel "comfortable" coming in until the 10 minutes were up. He told me to get my son ready to take him to the hospital, but I started screaming at him nonstop telling him this was a family emergency and that he was out of his mind to behave like that. It might not have been my best response but I was shocked by his behavior and quite concerned because...I had this situation always stuck in the back of mind thinking what my husband do when there's a family emergency. I ended up taking my son by myself when my neighbor intervened and offered to take us. We went to the hospital and later my husband came and tried to talk to me but I refused. I then went to stay with my mom and texted him that I wanted a divorce. He tried to rationalize and justify what he's done saying he could not help it and that he was nervous and wanted to help my son but felt stuck. I refused to reply to his messages and days later his family literally harrassed me saying I was making my husband's trauma more severe and that I disrespected his boundaries by pushing him off his limits.

I feel lost and unable to think because of the whole ordeal. My family are with me on this but they can be biased sometimes. My husband is still trying to basically talk me out of divorce saying I'm making a huge deal out of it. I feel like I no longer have trust in him especially when it comes to serious stuff like how cold he acted in a family emergency.

Edit to clarify that my son isn't his biological son. We don't have kids together.

For the past several years, I've owned a property in a semi-rural area. It is part of an HOA with only 12 houses over 1000 acres, so we don't get much in each others' way. There is a "common area" that abuts my property and on it there is a "pond" that is fed via an irrigation headgate on a creek on my property and a cut that runs from it through my property. I've come to discover this pond is a real pain. One neighbor used to maintain it (without making a fuss) but he died.

So dealing with it fell to me, as the neighbor most affected by it. And it's a pain. People trespass to go fishing or having their dogs swim in it. People from outside have come to ice-skate on it (totally not safe!). It has silting problems. The headgate needs to be dug out every spring, sometimes multiple times. The cut clogs up and has to be cleared. Then a beaver took up residence and kept blocking the outflow culvert, causing a flood on neighboring farmer's land (he was rightly pissed and I got the brunt of it). I was clearing out beaver blockages several days a week. Nobody else in the HOA would help. I did some research and discovered that the water right for the headgate belonged to *me alone* and not the association (whoops!), there was no easement for the irrigation cut and, cherry on the sundae, the pond is actually on my property and not common area. Had a survey done just to be sure. I also discovered it wasn't really a "pond" -- it was a hole dug up to provide fill for our road and the original developer just routed irrigation into the hole and called it a "pond", but this explains why it is such a mess.

A landowner a mile away is now digging out a proper pond and he has to pay a ton to dispose of the fill (even though it is clean). I asked if it would help if he could put some of the fill in our "pond" and he offered to pay for the privilege. I have closed the headgate and started draining the pond. Some members of the HOA have been yelling at me that they like the pond (just to look at as they drive out to the main road). So I said, ok, if you like it, pay up $10K a year for someone to deal with the nonsense. They refused, I said that in that case the pond is getting filled in and planted with native grass, using the money from taking the fill They call me a selfish asshole. Am I?

Hi everyone.

For my whole life, I (30F) have had a lot of anxiety when it comes to driving. It has never been too much of a problem, as I live in a city and I can walk wherever I need to go I have been married to my husband, "Stan" (32M) for three years, together for six. Throughout our relationship, he has tried to help me learn how to drive. The problem is, Stan is not a very good teacher amd gets very impatient, and angry everytime we try. We go to the parking lot of an abandoned warehouse sometimes, it's huge. Anyway, if I make one small mistake, for example, if i don't check my mirrors for a long enough time. Stan yells at me.

I would already BE nervous at the wheel, but with all the yelling, it would cause me to break down and cry. I have a brother, Paul (33M) who I hang out with typically once a week. A few months ago, I was talking to Paul about how I want to learn how to drive, but I'm very nervous about it. He offered to help teach me when we hang out. Paul's husband, Chris also was willing to help me out, and they actually made me feel so much more at ease behind the wheel. I thought I was bad at driving, but it turns out, I was just anxious.

Another factor that made me want to learn besides feeling like I need to do this, is that Stan has told me that he won't have a child with me until I get my license, which I definitely understand. Two weeks ago, on my day off from work, Paul and Chris took me to the DMV and I finally got my license!! I also bought a used car a few days ago from money that I've been saving up for years. I'm so happy and I have has the support from my brother and his husband.

I thought Stan would be mad that I did all of this behind his back. And he was somewhat disappointed that I didn't want his help. I love him so much, but honestly he wasn't the right teacher for me.

Anyway, on Sunday, Stan and I both had off from work and he told me he had a surprise for me. He took me to his parents house, where they had a celebration for me, basically like a little party congratulating me because I learned how to drive. Halfway through, my mother in law was giving a speech about how proud she was of me, but also proud of my husband, for all of thr support and lessons he was giving me. I could feel the anger rising in my chest. Stan had been telling everyone that HE was the one who has been teaching me to drive. I snapped and told everyone, basically that the fee times Stan tried to teach me, I always ended up crying because he would yell at me until he was blue in the face. That the ONLY people who helped me and gave me confidence were Paul and Chris. And that, if anything... Stan made things worse for me. Which was true. But now, Stan won't talk to me. My MIL, FIL and SIL are on my side, but my two BILs and a couple of cousins are on Stan's side. I kind of DO feel like an AH. But at the same time, everything i said was true. AITA?

My daughter is 15 and she has social anxiety. She is in counseling for it and not meds (not needed). The rule in our household is that if you want fast food when we are out you pay for it with your own money. If you don't have McDonald's money you aren't going there. I also don't allow eating in the car, so we stop at places to eat.

We had to go out and do some errands. I told her to grab something to eat before hand but she said she wasn't hungry. We go on our errands and halfway through she wants to stop by Wendy's. I pull in and tell her to go order I will get a seat.

She comes back a few minutes later and tells me she can't order. She doesn't want to talk to the cashier at the front of the store. I told her she needs to order and we will head out. She asked me to order and I told her no. We sit for about 10 minutes when I tell her it's time to go.

She in short is pissed and my wife is also upset I didn't order for her. That I let her go hungry ( I find this stupid I didn't starve her for days it was 4 hour outing)

AITA?

Edit: for those asking yes, her counslor has told us she she needs to start doing this stuff on her own, this was low risk. She literally gave the example of ordering food without our help.

I also ran through a script with her at the table but she wouldn't do it

So just read in the news about it, but I am not sure the real intentions behind it. What is he really aiming to do? And why is he donating such amount of money? Why would he even do that when Trump is closer to win especially after the debate and assassination attempt?

My (30m) youngest sister (14f) came to my workplace to tell me that she was pregnant. I was upset when I heard it because she’s so young, and the baby daddy had already ditched her. Her environment isn’t also good for any child to be living in. We were basically arguing from the very start before my wife (26f) and son (1m) arrived. She was confused as to why my sister was here but didn’t intervene and told me she could wait for me to talk to my sister, so I did.

I suggested my sister to get an abortion because she can’t even take care of herself. She sure as hell can’t take care of a baby, but she refused. I don't want to force her, so I suggested adoption, and she still refused, which annoyed me. I then asked her how she'd care for the baby. She said she'd get a job. I explained that she won’t get any legal job at 14; that's child labor, and part-time jobs won’t pay enough anyway. I asked her again, but all her responses were that she'd figure it out.

We kept going back and forth. I didn’t know how to make her realize the situation, so I tried to tell her that it wasn’t fair for an innocent child to live with its drunk grandparents and its mom struggling. She was quiet after that, then blurted out that I could house her, and the baby since I have a nice house. I didn’t straight-up refuse her, but I knew I didn’t want to take her in either. So, I asked her about other expenses. She said again that she'd figure it out later, and that was when I knew she wanted a handout and to depend on me again. So, I told her no; I wouldn’t take her in.

I said she had three options: 1. abort it, 2. adopt it out, or 3. keep it but raise it yourself. I also said if she wants to keep it, I can help with some necessities here and there, but I won’t raise her baby. She seemed to turn deaf to this part, became defensive, and yelled at me with things like “you’re my brother, you're supposed to help me” or “are you gonna leave me and the baby to fend for ourselves, you’re heartless”. That was when my wife decided to intervene because it had gotten out of hand. My sister seemed to aim her anger at my wife and said, “mind your own business, you don’t even have a job, and he provides for you and your son”.

And she wasn't done yet. She kept guilt-tripping me, and when I didn’t respond, she went back to disrespecting me and my wife. It wasn't until she said something about my wife that made me snap with something more hurtful, which made her cry and stomp out.

So WIBTA?

My fiancé (33M) and I (31F) are really close with my immediate family (my sister and my mom). We visit them often across the country, take vacations together, etc. My sister's in-laws are also very present. We've spent lots of holidays with them, vacationed together as a group, etc. Since my sister had her first kid a year and a half ago, we've seen them all even more often than usual. All the while, my fiancé's parents and mine have yet to actually meet. They live far away from each other and varying attitudes about covid precautions made it impractical for us to coordinate a meeting over the last several years. They were actually supposed to meet last Christmas, but then we actually got covid and had to cancel.

Fast forward to now: we had the idea to invite our parents and siblings (and their partners + kids) to our place (a plane ride away for everyone) for Thanksgiving. We're running out of chances to get everyone together before our wedding next spring, so it seems like as good an opportunity as any. Today my sister asked me if her in-laws could come, and I told her that since it's the first time our parents are meeting we don't really think it would be appropriate, so no. I tried to explain it clearly and honestly, but she got angry with me and said "holidays are supposed to be inclusive" and if we're not going to invite her in-laws then maybe she (and her husband and kid) will just stay home and spend the holiday with them instead.

AITA for feeling that this particular Thanksgiving plan should be just our nuclear families?

My wife (34F) and I (34M) have been married for 9 years, and we have a 7 year old boy.

A couple of years ago, my wife herself confessed that she had a one night stand with her ex when he had come to town the previous week. I was devastated, and I really did not see any path to reconciliation, but I also had to take my son into account. My wife was extremely remorseful and she could have kept her infidelity hidden forever but she didn’t. I was still extremely sad and resentful, but my wife took all possible steps to reconciliation.

It has been 2 years, and I can say that I am at a stage where I have almost forgiven my wife, because she has pretty much done everything possible the past 2 years to show how much she loves me. Over the past few months, I have been saving for a trip to Europe with my son. My sister has settled abroad in Finland and she said she will show me around Europe.

I was initially 50-50 on whether I wanted my wife to come with us on the trip, because I still had slight resentment from her infidelity a couple of years ago. My sister however was completely against me bringing my wife to the trip, and she wanted this to be more of a sibling bonding time. She is not on speaking terms with my wife ever since I told her about my wife’s infidelity, and she said she would feel extremely uncomfortable if I brought my wife along with me.

Taking all of the above into account, I decided to book tickets and plan the trip for only me and my son. I let my wife know of all of the reasons I did not want her to come with us on the trip. My wife accepted it, but she seems extremely sad over the past few months.

My son and I are going to leave to Finland next week. Am I the AH for not taking my wife along with me on the trip? 

My husband (39m) and I (36f) have been together for 12 years and married for nearly 7. We have two children together (5m and 2f). We have a really good life and my husband is great in every way, he is extremely kind and good to me. He is an even better father. He has never so much as called me a name or raised his voice.

Within the last few months I started noticing somewhat odd interactions between he and our longtime babysitter (20f). My gut was telling me something was off, and it’s never steered me wrong in the past. For some background, I have known our sitter since I was a teen and she was a child as she was my Nextdoor neighbor, and her parents are still neighbors with my parents. Our sitter attends college in a neighboring state. My family and children are extremely close with the sitter and her family. My kids love her and she loves them. She accompanies us to community activities and also spends time with us at our home whenever she is home from school (summer, holidays, long weekends).

Now, on to the red flags. I knew my husband and our sitter texted occasionally, and didn’t mind because I thought it was infrequent and assumed it was always the sitter initiating the messages. She also occasionally texts me and also texts my husband and I in a three way message. My family and I have long suspected she has a crush on my husband, however that doesn’t bother me as I trust him, I’m confident and my sitter is young/immature. Also, not to be rude, but as far as your stereotypical beauty standards go, I am far more attractive than she is. A few months ago I started noticing that she knew things that had happened within my family, such as spats between my sisters, etc. I asked her how she knew about them, and she responded that my husband was texting her when it happened. I found that to be really strange and somewhat innapropriate. Next, there were two nights recently where she spent the night to spend time with the kids (again she LOVES them) while I was working an overnight. I learned afterwards that the two of them stayed up watching movies together into the night after putting our kids to sleep. Maybe not so strange? My husband NEVER initiates hanging out with me after the kids go to bed. We usually sleep separately, each with one of our kids, because they love co-sleeping. We are aware we need to break that habit :) but I’m being honest for the sake of this story. So I’m immediately hurt that he is staying up late and watching movies with our sitter, and doesn’t do the same with me, and also find it really strange and inappropriate.

Last Sunday, my son was watching Netflix on my husband’s phone and I saw a message come in from the sitter. I take the phone and tap on it. Prior to this I have never ever looked, or wanted to look, through anyone’s phone other than my own. But my gut had been telling me that something is up, so I looked. I scrolled back a ways and saw that they were texting A LOT. Sometimes about the kids, but usually not. It was consistent messaging on almost a daily basis, if not daily. They both initiated conversation with varying topics. He texts her more frequently than he does me, say when I’m gone 9-36 hours a day at work.

I found this constant communication to be super concerning and not okay for a married man to be engaging with a 20 year old female, twenty years his junior. Never mind the power imbalance at play in a situation like this given the age gap and the fact that we regularly employ her and supplement her income! I confronted him right away, and his excuse was that “she is family, she is my friend, I thought you text her all the time, nothing has happened”. Nope, didn’t accept his dumb ass response. I asked him if one of his married friends were to be interacting with their babysitter like this, if he thought it was okay. He said No. I asked if he thought their wives would be okay, he said No.

I let him know that I want to separate and live separately. He of course did not want this. Part of me thinks financials play a role as I make 3x what he makes, and he could not live in this expensive city without my income. Tough. I haven’t spoken to him in 3 days and have made it a point to be working or at my mom’s with the kids so I don’t have to see him. He has been messaging me, but I’ve barely responded.

I would love and really appreciate some outside perspective. AITA? Am I overreacting?

So, I'm 15F, and I'm the oldest of four kids. My siblings are 10, 7, and 4. My parents both work full-time, and since my mom got promoted last year, she works longer hours now. This means a lot of the household responsibilities and taking care of my siblings fall on me after school and on weekends.

I get my siblings from school, help with their homework, cook dinner, and sometimes put them to bed if my parents are late. I don't mind helping out, but it's gotten to the point where I barely have any time for myself or my friends. I'm also starting high school this year, and I have a lot of homework and extracurriculars that I need to focus on.

Last weekend, I had plans to go to a friend's birthday party. I told my parents about it weeks in advance, and they said it was fine. But the night before the party, my mom told me she had to work late on Saturday and that I needed to watch my siblings. I was really upset and told her I had plans, but she said family comes first and that I should be responsible.

I ended up missing the party, and I was really angry about it. Later that night, when my parents got home, I told them that they should have thought twice before having more kids if they couldn't handle taking care of them without relying on me all the time. My dad got really mad and said I was being disrespectful and selfish. My mom looked hurt and told me I don't understand how hard it is to balance work and family.

Now things are really tense at home, and I feel guilty for what I said. I know my parents are doing their best, but I also feel like I'm missing out on my own life because of all the responsibilities I have. AITA for saying what I said

There is public transport where I live (Subway) and like anywhere, it’s generally understood you give up your seat for someone who is elderly, disabled, or pregnant. I always try to do this.

I was sitting down on the Subway this week and who I assume were parents (mom, dad) with two kids got on. There was one available seat which one child sat on, and then the mom asked if I could give up my seat for the other child.

I politely refused and said something along the lines of ‘sorry I don’t want to give up my seat, I’m on this train for a long time’ (which is true, it’s a long journey for me).

Another part of the reason, even though it’s embarrassing and I didn’t say, is that I have bad blisters on my feet at the moment.

The mom responded ‘wow, you wouldn’t give up your seat for a child?’

I said that I wouldn’t, and then someone else on the train gave up their seat.

Even if I hadn’t had blisters on my feet, I still don’t think I would have given up my seat for a child. They don’t have problems standing, and probably have better balance than most adults. I know I have a bias here because I’m purposefully child free and my pet peeve is parents who feel they or their children are entitled to be the priority.

While this was happening, everyone on the train was looking at me like I’m a massive ass. So Am I the Asshole?

When we got home Joe's parents were there. Me, Matt, Joe and his parents had a talk. They asked me how can I let Matt treat him this way and that a wife should back her husband up.

Before I could talk, Matt said and a Man who marries a mother should treat her kids like his own but he hasn't been doing that for the past 15 years. I asked Matt what is he talking about.

He said everytime I went on one of my teacher conferences or went on vacation, Joe would leave him at home by himself and take the other boys out to do something fun. He always disguised it as it was kid stuff and I wouldn't like it, but tell you I didn't want to go.

At 18 he actually planned on moving out but Covid happened so he just decided to stay. I asked Joe if it was true and he looked at me and said yea, he shouldn't have to take care of someone else's kid.

His parents looked disgusted and his Dad just went off on him and said he didn't raise him like this. I yelled at him and told him to get the fuck out. He pleaded that he was sorry and that he realized that he was wrong with how he felt.

His dad told him to leave and when my husband tried to get in their car to go home with them, they said absolutely not and that he was on his own.

He tried going to his brothers house but when he heard the full story he said no because he has kids and would be upset if their stepmom treated them horribly.

From what I heard he's staying with a friend. I had divorce papers given to him at his job. He texted me and asked if we can meet.

We met at a cafe, and he said he was really sorry and has been for a long time. And that he never meant to hurt me or Matt but that he said it was hard to love another man's child.

I just left. He's filed the papers so I guess our divorce is about to start. I apologized to Matt for being a bad mom. He's fine, and our oldest son heard the conversation and doesn't want anything to do with his dad, the youngest 2 still spends time with him.

My gf and I got invited to this engagement party that my friend from undergrad has. I found out later that a girl, I'll call her Erin, and I went on a few dates with in undergrad was going. Normally, this wouldn't matter at all, but after I told her I wasn't feeling a romantic spark but we could be friends, Erin flipped out on me. She would send me tons of voicemails telling me I was leading her on, I was shallow (not sure what prompted this, never told her I didn't like her because of her appearance), and I wouldn't find anyone else but her, etc. etc. It's been several years since undergrad so I assumed that she would have hopefully chilled out or have forgotten about me.

Fast forward to the party, me and my gf are mingling and my gf is very nice and friendly so she's getting along with everyone. I run into Erin and she immediately makes a comment in a snide tone: "Oh, hey! I didn't know you'd be here. Almost didn't recognize you with the dad bod." I just say hello and try to ignore her but she's kind of following me for a bit. She makes another snide comment when she saw my gf from afar by saying: "She's so thin! I always knew that was your type!" and I ask Erin to please leave me alone for the night and she just stomps away.

I find my gf and we are hanging out and having fun until Erin comes up to us and makes a comment: "Oh, Thin_Fold_46, who is this?" My gf introduces herself politely before I could say something and compliments Erin's nails. Erin doesn't even introduce herself and says in a condescending tone: "I wish I could pull off the dress you're wearing but I think it only works for people with small boobs."

I try to keep my cool because we are all way too old for this but I became really agitated with Erin making comments about people's bodies. I snapped back and said "I think it'd be difficult to pull off for you in the waist area. If you want to know where we got this dress, I'd be happy to send you the link in a bigger size."

Erin immediately recoils. She doesn't say anything and leaves. Later that night, a few mutual friends came up to me saying they saw Erin sobbing and told them I called her fat and ruined her night. My gf tells me Erin was projecting her insecurities onto us and she wasn't even mad, just sad for her. I admit it was not the most mature move I've done, but how unwarranted was my comment? AITAH?

TL;DR: A girl who used to like me made bodyshaming comments about me and my gf and I made one back.