I (f) have been married to my husband (m) for 2 years. He has a habit of sitting in the car 5-10 minutes before entering the house. I don't know why he does it, but he talked about a past traumatic experience he had when he came home and caught his ex cheating on him. Because of that he'd just spend few minutes in his car before he enters his home as response to his trauma. Now I won't say that he's wrong in coping with what happened but this has made me feel uneasy and it had caused many fights between us. Like when we have guests he'd sit outside before coming in, or when dinner is waiting on him and he'd take 10 minutes silently sitting in the car.

I was worried that something might come up and he does not respond properly. And it happened last week. My 8 yo son tripped and fell from the stairs and broke his ankle. He was in so much pain and I called my husband to come take him to the hospital and he rushed out of work but then I called and called and then I was stunned when I looked out the window and I saw him sitting outside the house in his car. I was both shocked and angry. I ran outside and I asked how long he was sitting in the car. He told me around 8 minutes. I asked why he didn't come into the house immediately to help and he said he would after 2 more minutes. I was so mad and hurt but tried to rush him and he insisted he wouldn't feel "comfortable" coming in until the 10 minutes were up. He told me to get my son ready to take him to the hospital, but I started screaming at him nonstop telling him this was a family emergency and that he was out of his mind to behave like that. It might not have been my best response but I was shocked by his behavior and quite concerned because...I had this situation always stuck in the back of mind thinking what my husband do when there's a family emergency. I ended up taking my son by myself when my neighbor intervened and offered to take us. We went to the hospital and later my husband came and tried to talk to me but I refused. I then went to stay with my mom and texted him that I wanted a divorce. He tried to rationalize and justify what he's done saying he could not help it and that he was nervous and wanted to help my son but felt stuck. I refused to reply to his messages and days later his family literally harrassed me saying I was making my husband's trauma more severe and that I disrespected his boundaries by pushing him off his limits.

I feel lost and unable to think because of the whole ordeal. My family are with me on this but they can be biased sometimes. My husband is still trying to basically talk me out of divorce saying I'm making a huge deal out of it. I feel like I no longer have trust in him especially when it comes to serious stuff like how cold he acted in a family emergency.

Edit to clarify that my son isn't his biological son. We don't have kids together.

My daughter is 15 and she has social anxiety. She is in counseling for it and not meds (not needed). The rule in our household is that if you want fast food when we are out you pay for it with your own money. If you don't have McDonald's money you aren't going there. I also don't allow eating in the car, so we stop at places to eat.

We had to go out and do some errands. I told her to grab something to eat before hand but she said she wasn't hungry. We go on our errands and halfway through she wants to stop by Wendy's. I pull in and tell her to go order I will get a seat.

She comes back a few minutes later and tells me she can't order. She doesn't want to talk to the cashier at the front of the store. I told her she needs to order and we will head out. She asked me to order and I told her no. We sit for about 10 minutes when I tell her it's time to go.

She in short is pissed and my wife is also upset I didn't order for her. That I let her go hungry ( I find this stupid I didn't starve her for days it was 4 hour outing)

AITA?

Edit: for those asking yes, her counslor has told us she she needs to start doing this stuff on her own, this was low risk. She literally gave the example of ordering food without our help.

I also ran through a script with her at the table but she wouldn't do it

This is a small bit of maliciousness that happened years ago, but to this day it's still one of my favorite stories to tell.

So there needs to be a bit of context to this one for you to understand the beauty of what happened.

I was in a traditional Kung Fu school for nine years. My Sifu (teacher) was one of the most honest and respectable men I've ever known.

In this school, there was certain etiquette you had to follow out of both respect for the art, and your fellow students.

We had things like bowing before entering doorways, always facing north to take off our sash, stuff like that. Keep in mind that we weren't just teaching students here, we fostered a family and treated one another as if we were all brothers as sisters. One of the rules was that men wore their sashes on the right while woman wore their sashes on the left.

I am a trans male, and my Sifu was one of very few people who knew this. Also I present very androgynous. My Sifu and I talked about it when I came out to him because I was concerned about how it would effect the etiquette of the school, and we both agreed that neither of us cared how I wore my sash, so I just kept it on the left out of habit. Very friendly conversation.

At my school we did a traditional performance every year for Chinese New Year called a Lion Head Dance. (If you look it up online, it's both intriguing and hilarious to watch because it's essentially two people underneath a large, fluffy, paper mache Lion.) We would do this for restaurants, schools, or event centers. We even got to perform for the Chinese consulate at one time. Basically, one person is in the Head of the Lion while the other operates the Tail and we work together to cleanse the space to ensure a year of good fortune for the establishment, and scare away evil spirits.

Everyone always loved these events, and it was some of the funnest performances I had ever done. There's drums, dancing, firecrackers, the whole deal.

I was almost always in a Lion with my Sifu because we made a surprisingly good team.

One year, we went to this little Chinese restaurant who hired us to do our normal thing. We get there, we set up, lay out the equipment and begin stretching before the performance. This performance was one Lion with me in the Tail and my Sifu in the Head.

As we're talking and getting ready, suddenly the owner of the establishment walks over to my Sifu and I with the most disappointed look on his face.

My Sifu asks if everything is alright, and this guy just started in on my Sifu through gritted teeth.

He originally asked why I was standing there, and my Sifu, while confused, said that I was his Tail for tonight. The owner said that this was highly disrespectful because a woman shouldn't be in the performance, and should never be in the Lion.

My Sifu, with a now dead pan look on his face, chuckled and basically said: "uh, we don't live in the days of Chinese Dynasties anymore, sir. This is my student, I am their teacher, and they are more than welcome to perform and represent my school."

The owner kept on going off about how it's disrespectful to the culture, and how I shouldn't even be in the show because I was a female.

My Sifu looked back at me, looked at the owner, got a cheeky little grin on his face and said: "No problem!"

He turned to me, grabbed my sash, twisted it to my right side, bowed and addressed me as "dìdi" (meaning younger brother.) Before turning back to the owner.

He had the most shocked and appalled look on his face and it took me everything I had not to just bust up laughing.

The owner huffed, told us to just do the show, and stormed off.

And just as a little cherry on the top of this interaction, I went to get into the Tail and my Sifu stopped me, motioning for me to get into the Head of the Lion. So I got to lead the show that night, and the owner just had to sit back and deal with the fact that he didn't get his way by throwing a sexist fit.

The year after, we got hired by the same restaurant, and my Sifu, instead of rejecting it, made absolutely sure that the performance that night was all female students. The owner didn't say a word.

For the past several years, I've owned a property in a semi-rural area. It is part of an HOA with only 12 houses over 1000 acres, so we don't get much in each others' way. There is a "common area" that abuts my property and on it there is a "pond" that is fed via an irrigation headgate on a creek on my property and a cut that runs from it through my property. I've come to discover this pond is a real pain. One neighbor used to maintain it (without making a fuss) but he died.

So dealing with it fell to me, as the neighbor most affected by it. And it's a pain. People trespass to go fishing or having their dogs swim in it. People from outside have come to ice-skate on it (totally not safe!). It has silting problems. The headgate needs to be dug out every spring, sometimes multiple times. The cut clogs up and has to be cleared. Then a beaver took up residence and kept blocking the outflow culvert, causing a flood on neighboring farmer's land (he was rightly pissed and I got the brunt of it). I was clearing out beaver blockages several days a week. Nobody else in the HOA would help. I did some research and discovered that the water right for the headgate belonged to *me alone* and not the association (whoops!), there was no easement for the irrigation cut and, cherry on the sundae, the pond is actually on my property and not common area. Had a survey done just to be sure. I also discovered it wasn't really a "pond" -- it was a hole dug up to provide fill for our road and the original developer just routed irrigation into the hole and called it a "pond", but this explains why it is such a mess.

A landowner a mile away is now digging out a proper pond and he has to pay a ton to dispose of the fill (even though it is clean). I asked if it would help if he could put some of the fill in our "pond" and he offered to pay for the privilege. I have closed the headgate and started draining the pond. Some members of the HOA have been yelling at me that they like the pond (just to look at as they drive out to the main road). So I said, ok, if you like it, pay up $10K a year for someone to deal with the nonsense. They refused, I said that in that case the pond is getting filled in and planted with native grass, using the money from taking the fill They call me a selfish asshole. Am I?

So, I'm 15F, and I'm the oldest of four kids. My siblings are 10, 7, and 4. My parents both work full-time, and since my mom got promoted last year, she works longer hours now. This means a lot of the household responsibilities and taking care of my siblings fall on me after school and on weekends.

I get my siblings from school, help with their homework, cook dinner, and sometimes put them to bed if my parents are late. I don't mind helping out, but it's gotten to the point where I barely have any time for myself or my friends. I'm also starting high school this year, and I have a lot of homework and extracurriculars that I need to focus on.

Last weekend, I had plans to go to a friend's birthday party. I told my parents about it weeks in advance, and they said it was fine. But the night before the party, my mom told me she had to work late on Saturday and that I needed to watch my siblings. I was really upset and told her I had plans, but she said family comes first and that I should be responsible.

I ended up missing the party, and I was really angry about it. Later that night, when my parents got home, I told them that they should have thought twice before having more kids if they couldn't handle taking care of them without relying on me all the time. My dad got really mad and said I was being disrespectful and selfish. My mom looked hurt and told me I don't understand how hard it is to balance work and family.

Now things are really tense at home, and I feel guilty for what I said. I know my parents are doing their best, but I also feel like I'm missing out on my own life because of all the responsibilities I have. AITA for saying what I said

My gf and I got invited to this engagement party that my friend from undergrad has. I found out later that a girl, I'll call her Erin, and I went on a few dates with in undergrad was going. Normally, this wouldn't matter at all, but after I told her I wasn't feeling a romantic spark but we could be friends, Erin flipped out on me. She would send me tons of voicemails telling me I was leading her on, I was shallow (not sure what prompted this, never told her I didn't like her because of her appearance), and I wouldn't find anyone else but her, etc. etc. It's been several years since undergrad so I assumed that she would have hopefully chilled out or have forgotten about me.

Fast forward to the party, me and my gf are mingling and my gf is very nice and friendly so she's getting along with everyone. I run into Erin and she immediately makes a comment in a snide tone: "Oh, hey! I didn't know you'd be here. Almost didn't recognize you with the dad bod." I just say hello and try to ignore her but she's kind of following me for a bit. She makes another snide comment when she saw my gf from afar by saying: "She's so thin! I always knew that was your type!" and I ask Erin to please leave me alone for the night and she just stomps away.

I find my gf and we are hanging out and having fun until Erin comes up to us and makes a comment: "Oh, Thin_Fold_46, who is this?" My gf introduces herself politely before I could say something and compliments Erin's nails. Erin doesn't even introduce herself and says in a condescending tone: "I wish I could pull off the dress you're wearing but I think it only works for people with small boobs."

I try to keep my cool because we are all way too old for this but I became really agitated with Erin making comments about people's bodies. I snapped back and said "I think it'd be difficult to pull off for you in the waist area. If you want to know where we got this dress, I'd be happy to send you the link in a bigger size."

Erin immediately recoils. She doesn't say anything and leaves. Later that night, a few mutual friends came up to me saying they saw Erin sobbing and told them I called her fat and ruined her night. My gf tells me Erin was projecting her insecurities onto us and she wasn't even mad, just sad for her. I admit it was not the most mature move I've done, but how unwarranted was my comment? AITAH?

TL;DR: A girl who used to like me made bodyshaming comments about me and my gf and I made one back.

I am not OOP, OOP is

Posted on

Mood Spoilers: Jealousy but a Happy ending!

on 7/8/24

AITAH if I “accidentally” trip and spill wine all over this girl who is wearing white to my sister’s wedding?

Ok this is happening right now. I'm in the wedding venue watching my sister get married. So expect updates maybe??

I F(17) am at my sister's wedding right now (I'm so happy for her!). Here's the problem, this random guest (who I don't know) is wearing the very beautiful very obvious wedding gown to what's supposed to be my sister's special day.

Back when I was younger and she was a teen she told me that if she got married and someone wore white to my wedding she wanted me to spill a gallon of syrup and glitter on her as payback. Now the only unfortunate part is that I have no access to syrup or or glitter. You might be thinking wine because that's the most commonly used weapon in these situations but they won't let me near the alcohol table. The only drinks available to the 5 children hear is sprite, orange juice, and water (great selection guys...). Now I would do orange juice but there is very little left and my cousin would murder me.

So what to do? I'm pretty sure everyone here has noticed the white dress and is a tad confused by it. My whole family and the grooms side aren't big tradition followers so you basically could wear anything to this wedding and not be directly called out. However, this seems very deliberate and I know my sister has noticed it because how the hell would you not?!

So AITAH? Honestly just tell me what to do cuz idk. I might go talk to her; I love talking to crazy people!

(Also don't come at me for making an AITAH post about something so stupid cuz I find this hilarious).

Relevant Comments

"Ask your sister if she approved this. If not, loudly ask the guest why she’s wearing white to someone else’s wedding.

BUT CHECK WITH YOUR SISTER FIRST.

NTA."

"Hard to say as it depends on your sister’s wishes and who this woman is to her, you may be royally screwing up if you do this and you just don’t realise.

If I were you, I would talk to your sister and say you either want to speak to this woman or potentially spill wine on her and see what she says.

IMO before wine, I would ask her why she’s wearing a wedding dress to another woman’s wedding. If she’s rude about it, take it from there. First though, speak to your sister if you’re able to."

"YWBTA, check with your sister if she will be OK with your plan. Also you might want to check the girl's nationality, there are cultures who do not abhor guests wearing white/off white dress. In fact, it is OK in other parts of the world to wear something white or off white/tan/neutral colors rather than wear black to weddings. In the Philippines for example, the traditional formal dresses for men and women are off white/white color, the materials are fiber that are undyed. so normally white/off white/beige worn by guests/families/friends' dresses abound."

OOP had a mix of YTA and NTA so we will say ESH

UPDATE, Few Hours later

So I want to make it clear that I am very much a gentle giant and would never do something so bold. Me and my cousin thought this would be pretty funny to see what other people thought. Now I finally spoke to my sister and her husband. My sister actually didn't notice her and got pretty upset when I pointed it out (I feel kind of bad about that). I asked her if she knew the person to which she said no then ask her husband if he did and he said it was his cousin's plus one and gf. I asked her if she wanted me to do anything about it and she told me yes but also to not make a big scene out of it. So one things I'm pretty good at is info-fishing! I sidled my way up to the guest with my little cousin (not the same cousin as before) and started some small talk with the guests around her which eventually lead to her being brought into the conversation. Now my little cousin is blunt and childish (which is why I brought his amazing self along) and asks why she has the white dress on (as planned). She stutters a little then mumbles something about her being color blind.

Ok! Pause. What? I've heard of color blindness where you can't see anything but black or white and if ima be honest I kind of just walked away after that. Like, how do I respond to that? cuz if she's actually color blind and thought the dress was a light shade of some color or other than I'm the AH and she doesn't deserve me bitching about it, yk? Then again, if she's lying that's freaking crazy. I basically just told my sister that and gave me the most 'wtf?' Face she could manage. She decided not to worry about it and just have a happy wedding! I'm happy for her and honestly just happy she's such a great person and so much better than me lol.

Relevant comment

"You’re an awesome sibling for looking out for your sisters wedding. And no you are not TA for calling out stupid behavior. I highly doubt she’s wearing a white dress by accident. And if she really is color blind how did your cousin who brought this girl not think to say “honey I know you’re color blind but maybe let’s NOT wear white to the one type of event your not supposed to wear it at.” Honestly I think the color blind thing was just an excuse cause she didn’t expect to be called out especially by kids. Then when she was she was so embarrassed that she left. Good for you OP you handled it well."

UPDATE 2, About 5-7 hours after Update 1

So me an my cousin have decided that we were the AH and we accept it. It would have been worse if we acted on the joke however. The woman has left and her Bf is no where to be seen so all is well. Me and my cousin brought the post up to my sister (who was a bit tipsy so I'll ask again later) and asked if we should delete since it was unkind of us to do it at her wedding. She laughed at us after reading the post (and a few comments) and told us we were fine and also hilarious. I'm glad my sister is happy and when my sister is happy I'm happy! Let's just celebrate that my sister got married!!! WOOOO GO SISTER!!! Sure I'm just a 17 y/o and acting childish but you bet your ass that I'll live out my last year of childhood acting like the biggest toddler of all.

I love you sis ❤️

Relevant Comments

"YTA. This whole thing is so childish and you created so much drama that didn’t need to be created. Your sister has no idea, the gf and bf left because you made her feel uncomfortable, you assumed it was in ill intended and it was due to something she couldn’t control.

Childish behaviour. Grow up."

"I am glad that you chose not to ruin the dress. When I was young, poor college student, I only had a white dress. I was asked to sit at the entrance table to ask people to sign their wedding book. I did dye my dress a light green.

In many cultures, people do not wear white dresses for the bride. My Indian friend had a very colorful dress and changed into her white “western culture” dress later in the evening.

Filipinos wear white or beige barongs or dresses for all kinds of dress up events.

If it was clearly an attempt to upstage the bride, like a mother in law wearing a full white gown, then I would not feel too guilty causing some trouble. Ex wives or girlfriends, definitely NO!

My mom wore a beige skirt and top to my wedding because it was the only thing that fit her well and fancy enough for a wedding. I did not care."

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

My (30m) youngest sister (14f) came to my workplace to tell me that she was pregnant. I was upset when I heard it because she’s so young, and the baby daddy had already ditched her. Her environment isn’t also good for any child to be living in. We were basically arguing from the very start before my wife (26f) and son (1m) arrived. She was confused as to why my sister was here but didn’t intervene and told me she could wait for me to talk to my sister, so I did.

I suggested my sister to get an abortion because she can’t even take care of herself. She sure as hell can’t take care of a baby, but she refused. I don't want to force her, so I suggested adoption, and she still refused, which annoyed me. I then asked her how she'd care for the baby. She said she'd get a job. I explained that she won’t get any legal job at 14; that's child labor, and part-time jobs won’t pay enough anyway. I asked her again, but all her responses were that she'd figure it out.

We kept going back and forth. I didn’t know how to make her realize the situation, so I tried to tell her that it wasn’t fair for an innocent child to live with its drunk grandparents and its mom struggling. She was quiet after that, then blurted out that I could house her, and the baby since I have a nice house. I didn’t straight-up refuse her, but I knew I didn’t want to take her in either. So, I asked her about other expenses. She said again that she'd figure it out later, and that was when I knew she wanted a handout and to depend on me again. So, I told her no; I wouldn’t take her in.

I said she had three options: 1. abort it, 2. adopt it out, or 3. keep it but raise it yourself. I also said if she wants to keep it, I can help with some necessities here and there, but I won’t raise her baby. She seemed to turn deaf to this part, became defensive, and yelled at me with things like “you’re my brother, you're supposed to help me” or “are you gonna leave me and the baby to fend for ourselves, you’re heartless”. That was when my wife decided to intervene because it had gotten out of hand. My sister seemed to aim her anger at my wife and said, “mind your own business, you don’t even have a job, and he provides for you and your son”.

And she wasn't done yet. She kept guilt-tripping me, and when I didn’t respond, she went back to disrespecting me and my wife. It wasn't until she said something about my wife that made me snap with something more hurtful, which made her cry and stomp out.

So WIBTA?

I recently moved into a new apartment and I kinda finished furnishing last weekend and invited some friends over for a housewarming party.

While shopping for furniture I saw a little box with different compartments and I thought "hey this is actually perfect for a couple of tampons and pads if someone might need them unexpectetly". So I bought it, put a couple pads and tampons in different sizes in there and printed out a little card that says "LADY STUFF" and put that on it.

Well, last Saturday one of my friends asked if he could bring someone with him to the party and I was like "sure, why not?". Evening went great everyone was talking, we had some food and some music going on and this girl that was tagging along with my homie was going to the bathroom. Seems like she saw that little box and when she came back she started asking me if I didn't find it a little inconsiderate to use the term "Lady" on that box. What if someone isn't a heteronormative woman but still got her period and, I quote, "are they not allowed to use them then?". At first I thought it was a joke but she kept going. I tried to kinda kill that topic and not engage but she kept bickering about it and how I don't get it as a straight, white male until I kinda snapped and said something along the lines of "If they need them but don't wanna use them because it says 'Lady' on it, they can bleed their fucking pants swampy for all I care but they better shut the fuck up about it". She finally stopped after that but was visibly upset for the rest of the night and didn't talk to me nor said goodbye when they left.

It just annoyed the fuck out of me because I wanted to be considerate with that box and literally on the first night of people visiting, someone complained about it. I was thinking about posting this on AITA but I just do not see myself as the asshole. This was just a girl who wanted to be upset for the sake of being upset in my eyes.

Backstory:

So this one may require some backstory to build up to the big argument which happened a few days ago. I (23M) have been with my Janine (Fake Name - 23F) for 8 years now. We began as school sweethearts and have had our ups and downs but for the most part have been a very happy couple for that whole time. We love each others families, really enjoy each others company and have known for a while we wanted to tie the knot and settle down at some point.

Talk of moving in together has been on the cards for a while but we wanted to stand firm on our plan to buy rather than rent, so we have been saving for years now and are both in a position where we feel as though we can afford a deposit and have enough outside of that to make mortgage payments with both our salaries.

Everything feels perfect except for 1 thing. Our sex life. For the past 2 years this area has been near on non-existent. Initially the sex began to ramp down in frequency at what I thought was natural. Every few days became once a week but this felt normal. We still live at home so it can be awkward but this was what I felt to be natural now for where we were in our relationship.

However as time went on this dwindled more and more and we are now in the position to having not had sex in 4 months. I have tried to initiate but I get the cold shoulder so frequently that it has burnt out any wanting for me to try. At first when I questioned this Janine told me she was feeling a lot of pain. Of course I didn’t want to force her into anything so we stopped then and began looking for ways to help. Initially we believed this to be vaginisimus but over time we realised the symptoms didn’t quite match up to what we thought so kept looking.

Well, I kept looking. Janine didn’t show any signs of wanting to push to help this. I recommended doctors appointments but she disagreed with the need to go to the doctors for this. I mentioned therapy and she shot this down too. I would research home remedies and she would read what I sent over and disregard it as “that won’t work for me”. Initially with the pain we settled on performing different acts that required no penetration, but this did not last long.

She would always turn down advances and blame a particular element of my approach. I came on too strong, I wasn’t coming on enough to get her going. I initiated too quickly, I took too long and now she’s turned off. It’s not spontaneous enough, it’s too spontaneous and I didn’t give her enough time to prepare. It’s too loud in the house, it’s too quiet and we’ll be heard etc.

This really knocked my confidence and made me consider ending things but every other aspect of our relationship was perfect so I didn’t want to say anything. Anyways onto the present

The Argument:

When we first began looking for places I mentioned our sex life and stated that I didn’t feel comfortable getting a mortgage together if we didn’t have an active sex life as it would be harder for both of us to deal with at that point. She was taken aback by this but after discussion agreed we’d keep looking and she would work on becoming more active sexually. That was a year ago

Fast forward to the past few weeks and we realised our finances were in the right place to move. Janine asked what day I would like to go and speak with a mortgage adviser and I told her I didn’t. She was confused and asked what I meant and I explained as above. In the year I had been saving for this mortgage under the agreement to move in should she work on rebuilding our sex life. In that year she had done nothing and taken no action, even going the 4 months without initiating or engaging with me about this. As said before I didn’t want to force her but wanted to see some form of effort at being more intimate in our relationship. She stopped kissing me without my initiation in this time also. She has seen 0 doctors in this time for her medical issues and has refused my advances of couples therapy.

When I finished explaining I said our finances are there but I am not ready to pursue this next stage together without work on our sex life. She was furious with me and stated that I was holding our future at ransom to have more sex. She stormed out and I haven’t heard from her since other than a text message telling me she wasn’t coming to a dinner date I had planned and to call her when I had decided to not be an arsehole anymore.

Whilst I feel that my intentions weren’t cruel I now feel like I may be the arsehole for building up to this point of building our finances to suddenly halt it like this. I understand her feelings of betrayal but I just can’t move in knowing our sex life is going to continue non-existent. AITAH?

I (52M) have 2 kids Jay (26M) and Katie (17F). to make the post easier to understand I'll give some info upfront, my wife passed a way 9 years ago. My son is FTM trans and had not yet transitioned at the time. Growing up my son always had a fascination with his mother's wedding dress and she always told him he could wear it to his wedding. The dress was never willed to him or anything of the sort, it has remained in my care since my wife passed. My son and I have never discussed his mother's wedding dress at all. My daughter frequently says she wants to wear it to her wedding some day.

Well my son recently proposed to his long term girlfriend Valorie (26F) we've all been very excited for them. They're currently in the early stages of wedding planning and my son came to my house recently asking for "his dress". I was a bit confused and asked what he meant. He said he wanted his mother's wedding dress to repurpose so he could wear it at his wedding. He did specify that he wanted to do this to feel like he has a piece of his mother at his wedding. I asked if it would be possible to make the alterations reversable as his sister also want's to wear the dress. He looked at me like I had two heads and told me the wedding dress would most likely be torn apart and the fabric sewn into different pieces of clothing, but that would be for him and Valorie to decide. I told him I couldn't give him the dress if he was gonna alter it in a way that would make it unusable for his sister.

He started to get pissed and said he can do anything he wants with it as it's his. I told him his mother intended for him to wear it as a dress, not destroy it. ( I know she would never allow that, she loved her wedding dress, and it meant a lot to her as it was a gift from her grandmother who unfortunately passed away about 8 months after the wedding). My Son turned this into a huge argument and accused me of being transphobic. He claims that if he was a girl I would have no problem with him taking the dress. I told him I would have the same stipulations as I personally view it as unfair that one child gets to use it and the other doesn't. My son escalated things and has gotten other relatives involved. My sister thinks I'm being a massive asshole and that my wife never said Katie could have the dress so it shouldn't go to her in the first place. while my wife's parents are saying I'm in the right. (I'm no contact with my parents and most of my extended family due to how they responded to Jay transitioning so these are the most important people in my life.) Katie has told me she does still want to wear the dress, but she'll let Jay have it if it's gonna break apart the family. I'm still conflicted about the whole thing, but am putting my foot down for now. So AITAH?

TL;DR: My trans son wants to repurpose his mother's wedding dress, I said no as my younger daughter wants to wear it to her wedding.

My friend (17f) makes TikTok regularly and she had a decent following of a few thousand. She wanted to grow it for a while and sometimes she would complain to me when it wasn't having any growth and I (17F) would try and help her get a viral video.

Well it happened and over the past few days she's had quite a lot of likes (I'm deliberately trying to be vague with describing this, as this point is about my insecurity and I don't want somebody to find it and add to that). We recorded a video of us both dancing together to a popular song right now and it got her a lot of followers and likes. She's really happy, but a part of why it seemed to go viral is because people are fat shaming me in the replies.

I am quite overweight, I'm 250lbs and I'm quite insecure of my body which is why I didn't wanna be in my friend's video to begin with, but she convinced me. I didn't think it would go viral so I was wearing a crop top and shorts, and now people are calling me an it or a thing, and saying rude things like telling me to cover up and that its a violation to their eyes. It shouldn't even offend me because I know they're all 13 year olds but those comments have hundreds of likes and I'm really embarrassed.

I only noticed this morning when my friend told me her video went viral and I told her to take it down because people are being rude to me and I showed her some of the comments. She told me to stop being selfish and that I willingly chose to appear in the video and that I'll ruin her getting popularity now. I told her that I didn't think it would go viral, and she says that she understands that its not fair of them to make fun of my body, but the video already has downloads and you can't wipe anything from the internet so its useless to delete it and that I need to get tougher skin. AITA? I know you can't delete anything but I really didn't expect to see hundreds of likes calling me a whale or anything

So I'm (31F) an adoptive mom to an 8-year-old girl named Lilly. We decided to go school supply shopping because I enrolled her in a before-school-starts program. A month before school starts, they learn some extracurricular stuff. Lily really wanted to join the program, so we went out and bought all the school supplies.

I have had problems with people stealing from Lily, so I made sure to mark everything. We bought all the required supplies, including a clear backpack. To prevent theft, I used E6000 glue to put her name on the clear backpack so no one could take it. It's bound to happen otherwise. We got a really cute pencil pouch, and I wrote her name with a Sharpie on the inside of the pouch. I also wrote her name on the box of markers and every individual marker. I did the same with the scissors and the glue stick. I basically wrote her name on everything to prevent theft.

I sent her to the program, but when Lily came home, she was upset (though not crying). Apparently, we weren't supposed to write names on the school supplies because everything was going to be mixed up and distributed to everyone. I called the teacher, and they explained that they didn't have enough money to get every single kid their own supplies, so they planned on distributing the supplies evenly. The teacher shamed Lily for it. Now, I don't know what to do.

I grew up with my family and another family whose parents were best friends with mine since high school. My parents had me (F28) and my two older brothers (M31 and M35), while their friends had four boys (M27, M29, M30, and M37).

Growing up was pretty nice, but the boys used to pick on me a lot and exclude me during their "girls are yucky" phase. I wouldn't say I see these boys as brothers, but maybe as cousins.

I was close to M27 and M29 when we were little. I will call them Adam and Jake. Until we were 15, we were really close and did a lot together.

I don't talk to Jake much anymore. No hard feelings, but he grew up to be a classic tech bro and can be pretty condescending. However, our families are obsessed with the idea of us ending up together. The other guys are already married, and Adam is gay. They've always pushed for us to be together (making us go to the store alone at Christmas, telling us both an earlier time to meet at the restaurant for Dad's birthday, talking him up a lot, etc.).

Then both Jake and I met our SOs. I have been with my fiancé for 5 years, and Jake met his fiancée 3 years ago. Our families have been very disappointed and have not welcomed our SOs warmly. One Christmas, I took Jake's fiancée, Tracy, aside and explained the weird family lore to her. With Jake (just like we did with my fiancé), we assured her that it was just a weird thing of our family and that Jake and I have not been close for ages and have never had more than a friendly relationship. Ironically, having to stand against our parents made us all a little closer.

But we come to the problem. Jake and Tracy are going to get married soon, and it has been chaos. Our parents have upped their antics by 2000%. Family dinners are full of "ahh we thought you two would get married." They brought out a picture I apparently drew of me and Jake when we were little of us getting married (I suspect they made it. It did not look like it was made by an actual child). They were cornering Tracy about making me the matron of honor and letting me wear white (what??). Also, his brothers and my brothers joined in, making jokes about us being star-crossed lovers and calling me "the missus." I distanced myself heavily from my family during that time and stopped going home after talking to them did nothing.

One day, one of my brothers invited me out. He said it was just my two brothers and me. So, I went to his apartment, and when I arrived, it was Jake's bachelor party. One of his brothers screamed out that the "stripper" was here (fucking ew). I wanted to leave, but the next train left close to 12 a.m., and it was not the safest neighborhood. So, I stayed. They tried to make me drunk, were constantly physically pushing me and Jake together, and even locked us in my brother's bedroom. I could hear loud laughing from the other side. Jake and I did not talk much. He apologized to me and asked me if I could not come to the wedding as I made Tracy uncomfortable. I completely understood and said at that point I was not planning to go anymore.

He offered to drive me home as he was also completely sober. When they opened the door, he said we were going home. In their heads, that meant we were going to be intimate or something because all the caveman sounds started.

The next day, my phone was blowing up. Someone uploaded a video of me and Jake leaving and captioned it "finally." It was very awkward. I am clearly uncomfortable, and so is Jake as we exit the apartment and enter his car. There were comments, calls, and texts. Tracy called me crying and cursing me out. Jake called me apologizing and telling me he tried to explain. My mother and his mother sent me a bunch of texts saying how proud they are and that it was about time. My fiancé is understanding, but he wants me to make clearer boundaries with my family.

I drove past their house, and they were all there. They didn't even let me talk and were just love-bombing me. I started screaming and told them Jake and I have never and will never be together and I will not be leaving my loving fiancé. That I would not be going to Jake's wedding, and if they kept up with this, I would cut every single one of them off because I am tired and just want to live my life and not their incest fairy tale.

By the end of my meltdown, my mother and his mother were crying, and my father just told me to get out.

Since then, I have been getting messages from my brothers calling me a bitch for treating my family like that because they only wanted the best for me.

So, AITAH?

Edit: no an, uber was not an option. Taxis and ubers are ungodly expensive here. Thus is take the freaking train.

Also no we don't have a car.

Tracy was away and my fiance had a night shift

I (18F) have been on and off with a guy named Jared (26M) for almost a year now, it's one of those toxic relationships that you keep coming back to. anywayy one night he came over after a nasty argument from the day before, we agreed we needed to see each other and handle it in person. We talked our problems out and everything was better. We even had makeup sex he gave me my first ever creampie! ughh it felt fucking amazing getting filled up. But then afterwards when we were laying in bed he asked me "Would you ever get a boobjob?"

This got me a little offended and i asked him why? Then he replied with "Don't get me wrong your hot as fuck but i think with some bigger tits you'd be even hotter" i didn't even know how to react when he said this... i just brushed it off and said maybe haha. To be fair my boobs are only B cups but i never thought he wanted them bigger. I thought guys like natural boobs more than fake ones, im also really petite so i think getting a boobjob would make it disproportioned to my body..

Later on i brought it up again because it annoyed me. He told me im overreacting and it's not a big deal but i said it's something im insecure about and he shouldn't have asked me that. After more arguing i told him to leave then kicked him out of my apartment.

I feel kinda bad but i also think this is a sign to move on. it's a toxic relationship and i know i need to get out... if you know anyone preferably older that doesn't care about small boobs PLS send them my wayy!! i wanna experiment and hopefully find someone else <33

English is not my first language so bear with me please.

My (42F) brother (39M) has a live in housekeeper, Vivian. I believe the girl is 18 or 19. In our country and particularly our city, housekeepers are in very high demand, especially ones from the same region of our country as Vivian is because they have the best food in the country.

My brother got divorced a year ago and got very depressed, so I advised him to hire a housekeeper to help him maintain his daily tasks. She also helps him by babysitting his two daughters when it is his custody time when he is at work.

I went grocery shopping a few weeks ago with my brother and he picked up a box of chocolates and some flowers for Vivian. He told me that she was sick and I thought it was very sweet of him.

However, my nieces (my brothers daughters) told me that their father always hits on Vivian when she is working and he buys her expensive gifts. Then yesterday, he made an off handed comment about her body when she was bringing some foot to the table when I went to his home to have lunch with him. She laughed awkwardly and excused herself.

I asked him what he was doing and basically, he is attracted to her. I told him that his behaviour with her was not appropriate as he is her employer and if he cannot behave, he should let her go. When he hired her, her agency said that there were many other families who wanted her because of resume so she will not be left jobless. I told him that she deserves to have a work place that is safe.

He was very upset and said I was treating him like a creep and it wasn’t my business. I left after this and he called me demanding an apology. I feel like I may have over stepped since he told me Vivian has not complained herself. I feel very bad now and I was wondering if I am AH.

This has a bit of long set-up . . . . sorry.

TL;DR: made a professor jealous by helping out the other professors so he told me to stop, which caused havoc in the department

Back in the 80's I was a university student majoring in English in a smallish school. I was one of a small number of students with my own computer and got to know a lot about word processors, desktop publishing software, and (more generally) MS-DOS, the text-based precursor operating system to Windows.

Many of the professors in the department were just starting to buy computers to do their research and writing, and so I often offered to help them with buying/setting them up as well as helping them understand DOS and using their word processors. I and a few friends took over editing and publishing the annual literary magazine, and we also started a department newsletter. I was editor of both. I also served as the student representative on the Faculty Council. I believed in being useful, and it didn't hurt that the profs all offered to be reference for me in exchange. However, for some reason, one of the professors in the department took umbrage with me for all this. He was usually very friendly to all the other students, but when he'd see me he'd just brusquely pass by. Then, in my senior year, he became the department head and that's when things came to a head.

One day one of the professors asked me to format his forthcoming book for publication. There was a paid research associate in the department but she didn't know how to use desktop publishing software or how to do layout, whereas I, as editor of the magazine and newsletter, had a lot of experience with both. However, she complained to the department head that I was "taking her job". She knew he didn't like me, so she was stirring up shit deliberately.

Well, he came running (literally, he ran) up to me and started berating me in front of the research associate and the prof who asked me the favour. He ranted about the things I was doing and said "you're too involved in everything and it isn't appropriate. You are just an undergrad here, and I don't appreciate you undermining <research associate>." He didn't give me a chance to reply, just turned on his heel and strode back to his office, no doubt feeling good about bullying a student.

Cue the malicious compliance. Since he felt I was "too involved in everything" I stopped helping everyone. Printer jammed? Sorry. Lost your Word file? That's a shame. Having trouble making a back-up of your novel? Wish I knew what to tell you. Need to install that new hard drive? Guess you're gonna have to bring it in to the computer shop and pay. Department newsletter, which the president of the university had personally congratulated me on? Ceased publication.

After a few weeks, with things having ground to a halt, the shit. Hit. The. Fan. The other professors all took my side, and called for an emergency Faculty Council meeting. Even though I was the student rep, it was closed door so I never got to hear what happened. The minutes of the meeting merely said "Discussion re: research activities." It lasted for well over an hour and when it was over, the department head called me and invited me in to his office. Once again he did all the talking, but this time he told me he regretted his harsh words, offered a shame-faced apology, told me that he appreciated all the help I had given his colleagues in the past, and expressed his wish that we could put this "unfortunate misunderstanding" behind us.

We shook hands and parted enemies. Things went back to normal. I finished my undergraduate degree and stuck around to do my master's. I continued to do what I always did, and even helped launch a writing tutorial centre in the department that is still operating 35 years later.

So I'm (31F) an adoptive mom to an 8-year-old girl named Lilly. We decided to go school supply shopping because I enrolled her in a before-school-starts program. A month before school starts, they learn some extracurricular stuff. Lily really wanted to join the program, so we went out and bought all the school supplies.

I have had problems with people stealing from Lily, so I made sure to mark everything. We bought all the required supplies, including a clear backpack. To prevent theft, I used E6000 glue to put her name on the clear backpack so no one could take it. It's bound to happen otherwise. We got a really cute pencil pouch, and I wrote her name with a Sharpie on the inside of the pouch. I also wrote her name on the box of markers and every individual marker. I did the same with the scissors and the glue stick. I basically wrote her name on everything to prevent theft.

I sent her to the program, but when Lily came home, she was upset (though not crying). Apparently, we weren't supposed to write names on the school supplies because everything was going to be mixed up and distributed to everyone. I called the teacher, and they explained that they didn't have enough money to get every single kid their own supplies, so they planned on distributing the supplies evenly. The teacher shamed Lily for it. Now, I don't know what to do.

Hey everyone,

I (29M) just got married to my amazing wife (29F) two days ago. We've been planning our wedding for years, and it was supposed to be the perfect day. I had only one request for my friends: please, do not propose to your girlfriends at our wedding. I suspected one of my friends might try this because he had been talking about proposing, not directly to me, but to another friend. I specifically asked him not to do it.

The wedding night was magical. I had prepared a special song to sing to my wife, a little piece that meant the world to us. As the music was coming to an end, my friend suddenly emerged from the crowd with his girlfriend and proposed to her right then and there. I felt so betrayed. The crowd was cheering and clapping for them, completely overshadowing our moment. My wife didn't seem to mind too much, but I was devastated.

Shortly after, I pulled them aside and asked them to leave the party and told them they couldn’t attend the after-party. They refused, so I had to ask security to escort them out. Now, half of my friends are on my side, while the other half think I'm overreacting and that it wasn't a big deal. Even my parents said I was being too harsh. I'm seriously considering ending the friendship over this.

So, AITA for kicking them out? Am I overreacting?

Ok so some context for this, I love to bake and last year I spent a pretty penny buying a set of baking utensils that I love.

My aunt asked me if she could borrow them last week and I said ok but that I would need them back by today because I planned on baking my friend baby shower cake.

I went to her house this morning to get them only to find out that she threw away several of my utensils away because they “broke” to be clear the heads on some of my utensils pop off to be washed in a dishwasher since the handles were wooden.

She thought they broke because of this and instead of calling to tell me she just threw them away. I’m going to go buy new ones today so I can bake the cake but I want her to buy me the same brand of the ones that she threw away. Not the whole set, just the brushes and spatulas. It will only cost her like $20-$30 at most.

So WIBTA if I tell her that she needs to buy me new ones?

TLDR: USAF Squadron leadership thought I was lazy and could bust me by making us track jobs for the week. I had over 6x the jobs in a week than the rest of the airmen in my career field. They stopped tracking jobs.

I was in the USAF at the time of this and was working IT and an Information Manager (IM) for a maintenance squadron. There were 6 other IMs who could have done IT, as it was a core task of our career field. None of them wanted to and I didn't want to do paperwork. So it was a good fit. I ended up snowballing tasks and was soon in charge of doing all the AV stuff for the squadron. Christmas slides? Geawiel will make them. Fund raiser? Geawiel will handle it. I even ended up with a base job where I had to go to a specific location during crisis (tornadoes, if there was a base attack, etc) to do back room IM stuff for all the big wigs of the base. I hated it. I didn't see the point of IMs there. I did the job without complaint though. It was my job.

The squadron was the second largest account on the base. 650 pieces of equipment and over 200 personnel spread over multiple hangars. I was also the only IT person with a line badge, so I was allowed to freely go on the flight line without an escort. 3 of our work section were on the flight line and required the badge or an escort to get to.

For some reason I rub shitty leadership the wrong way. I generally don't take crap. If something is wrong I speak up. I don't ass kiss because I don't do the politics crap. It's a job. I do my job. Everyone should just care about their job. Politics be damned. Everyone in the squadron loved me and some places would call me Bill Gates. I was there when they called. If I couldn't fix the problem in 10 to 15 minutes I would swap the bad equipment out. I always brought some with me.

This leadership was shitty. Our 1st Sgt was someone we call Retired on Active Duty (ROAD Sgt). They don't give a fuck. They're in a spot that they're comfortable in and don't care about getting the next rank or know they've kissed enough ass to skate by.

For example, I'm fixing her laptop on a Friday morning, "I'm bored. I don't really have anything to do for the day."

Bitch, you're a 1st Sgt. Your job is to gauge squadron morale. Know what the shops are up to. You always have something to do. Go talk to people, because I can tell you morale sucks ass right now.

At one point they decided it was time to "catch me red handed" being lazy. The 1st Sgt came in and told all 7 of us that we're going to track the jobs we do for the week. We're going to do this from here on out and it was directed by the Group Commander (Flight>Squadron>Group>Wing(the base)>Command(AF wide)).

Ok, we doubt that but we'll do it. I made an excel sheet for us all to share and write down our jobs. Each Information Manager had their own tab and columns to fill in the job. The date. The time they started it. The time the finished it. The sheet would automatically count the jobs, spit out how long it took to complete a job and give an average time it takes to complete them. It took me all of 5 minutes to throw together.

That week was a normal week for me. I'd get various calls. My account is locked out because I forgot my password. I can't access FEDLOG because the base IT moved the drives. So I had to remap the location so they could order parts again. My PC is messed up and won't do X. So I'd fix it or swap it out. If I swapped it, I had a bank set up with a keyboard bank so I could use 1 mouse and keyboard for up to 24 PCs. I'd wait to build up at least 5 and reinstall windows on all of them at once. I had to delete them from the squadron's account online. Then add them again after the RIS so the network would recognize them and allow it on them. I'd usually do remote work while I did this.

At the end of the week the 1st Sgt checked the sheet during the weekly squadron commander's briefing. Which was another job for me. Putting together the slides for the briefing. Which involved embedding an excel document for performance reports in it. Another document I managed since no one else wanted to.

I was waiting with giddy excitement. I knew what it was going to show!

The other IMs had around 100 jobs each. Processed X decoration/award. Process X number of performance reports. Just paperwork stuff like that.

Then comes my slide. I had over 650 jobs that week. I was all over every work site. There are lots of issues with the PCs. They take some big abuse from the maintenance guys. A lot of it is because most of them suck with computers and screw stuff up. One guy had 3 of those maleware "search bar" things installed somehow and couldn't understand why it was an issue.

The 1st Sgt announced Monday morning that we were ditching the job tracking and no longer had to do it. I guess the "maintenance group commander" must have changed his mind in 1 week....

For context, I (25f) recently moved out of my parents house. My sister (13f) has always stole my parents attention, and in numerous occasions has proven to have psycopathic behaviours. For example, she has killed numerous family pets. My dad always has wanted to punish her, but my mom defended her saying that 'she didn't know any better'.

Now, a year ago, I got my first pet. His name was Arlo, he was a golden retriever rescue dog and he lived with me while I searched for apartments. He was about 5 years old, but he was my best friend. I have never been the one to have the biggest friend group, so taking Arlo out every day was what got me out of bed every morning.

One day, I arrived at my parents house after work, but didn't hear Arlo's distinctive bark. I thought the worst, so I ran to my room, where Arlo was shaking and whining in agony. My sister had arrived after school and wanted to use Arlo as a pony, ending in a broken spine. In summary, Arlo ended up being buried in our backyard a few hours later. Again, my mom didn't do anything, and said "she's just a kid, let her do what she wants".

A few days ago, my maternal aunt gifted me a labrador puppy, which I named Buzz. I posted a story on Instagram, but my family saw it and now my mom can't stop texting me that my sister wants to meet him. I told her that she won't be seeing him anytime soon. My mom didn't stop insisting so I ended up blocking her.

Yesterday, I woke up with my dog barking at my face. Turns out, my mom had taken my sister out of school so that she could meet my puppy. I didn't open the door, but a few minutes later my sister grabbed her school lunch banging my window, almost breaking it. I told my mom to control her daughter, but she didn't respond and only stood there, watching the caos unload. I had to call the cops to get them to go away. My dog was terrified, and I was too. Am I the asshole?

So, a few years back my (40M) fiancé (39F) and I were talking on the phone. She was a flight attendant, and not home very often, and she brought up breaking up because "I deserved someone who could be there for me." I didn't want to, but after a few days, I agreed to split up, because it was apparent that this is what she wanted, and was on the way out already. It broke my heart.

A few months later, she called me to talk, asked is I was seeing someone (I had started talking to someone) and she said she was "getting to know someone" as well. Turns out, it was a male flight attendant she worked with. A few months before we split up, I had confronted her about this coworker. As soon as they met, they started going out to eat, getting drinks, scheduling flights together, she'd talk about him all the time, etc. I'm normally not a jealous man, but I felt like there was something going on there. When she told me she was with him, I lost my shit. I confronted him, and he said he knew nothing about me, and that they had began "getting to know one another" the same day that she insinuated that we split up. How ironic. So I ask her for the truth, and she continues feeding me lies. She says they're not together, just getting to know one another, nothing happened before we split up, etc. Bullshit. Anyway, I catch her in a number of lies, including the fact that the guy is still currently married. I have her an opportunity to tell me the truth, and she again lies to me. Frustrated, I contact the guys wife, and tell her all about the situation.

The wife says that it all makes sense now. He husband was "getting called up for unexpected flights" quite a lot recently, and was withdrawing hundreds of dollars each time. She wondered what it was all about, but now she knew. Her husband was cheating on her with my, now ex, fiancé, who was apparently living a double life as a prostitute. Turns out, they were only "getting to know" each other's anatomy, and she was "getting to know" others as well.

My ex flipped out on me, the wife filed for divorce, and lots of painful revelations were made, including the fact that she was never faithful to me and was moonlighting as a sex worker. AITAH?

I'm a 29yo woman and my mother and I have had our problems. Just like many other toxic mother/daughter relationships I left home as a teenager to escape the abusive environment our home had become. I moved in with a friend in a different state, which also didn't end super well but that's a story for a different post, and continued to keep communication open. She's continued to cause drama at every major event in my life but I consider myself a pro at moving on at this point. I have planned PTO coming up in a couple months because my job will be closed for renovations and she has been planning a visit during this time. Over the past few months she's mentioned it a few times and we've worked through details together. Today, she emailed me to say that when she comes to visit she will likely not have funding for anything more than gas. She plans to bring a tent for her and her husband to sleep in during the stay and has inquired about available space in my yard, despite being fully aware that I do not own the home I live in and that I do not have the right to allow her to stay in our yard in a tent and use our facilities for any amount of time, much less several days. At first I hoped it was some awful attempt at humor, putting me in an uncomfortable position in order to laugh at my discomfort, because it's something she's done several times in my life. Once she even pretended to have full-blown tourrettes syndrome, complete with vocal tics worthy of an episode of South Park, in the middle of a crowded shopping center just to laugh at my humiliation at her antics, so this seemed likely. Unfortunately, she was serious and when I told her no, that I couldn't help her with this, she simply said "Alright. I'll figure it out myself." As though it isn't the most irresponsible choice to drive halfway across the country as a grown adult who knows they cannot afford to do such a thing. I have no idea what will happen, but im expecting a "What, don't you WANT to see us?" Response any time since I advised her not to make the trip at all since she clearly can't afford it. As a grown adult who can't afford to travel myself I am astounded at the audacity.

Edit:

Wow. I have never gotten this much of a response on any post in the past so I'm gonna answer a few questions I feel matter that I've seen in the comments.

1. Why not cut her out completely? A) I honestly don't have a good reason, just that I'd feel guilty. I'm the only family member out of state and I worry that cutting her out will result in the loss of family I would regret losing. I'm just afraid, I guess.

2. Why don't you offer to put her in a hotel? A) I'm like a lot of people in my age group these days; struggling. I'm not even the only earner in the house and we're still chasing the wrong end of the paycheck at the end of the day. I'd love to have been able to go back and visit, myself, but it would be irresponsible to attempt a trip I can't afford and putting my own little family at risk is not worth the moment of happiness I might find checking in on others I miss.

3. Is it possible her living situation has changed and she doesn't plan on leaving my yard? A) I never even considered this, and it horrified me to see it worded out. I would love to think she could never pull something like that but honestly I feel like anything is possible.

Thank you all for your logical advice, I really appreciate knowing that my own little circle isn't wrong to think the things I've seen here. I'm still waiting to hear how she responds to my suggestion that she not come and I will do my best to post an end to this unfortunate story.

I (24f) am getting married this winter. My stepmother wanted me to wear a bracelet that was handed down from her grandmother, that she and my stepsisters all wore at their weddings and that my half sisters will likely wear at theirs, at my wedding and have it be my something borrowed. I told her it was a really sweet offer but I already had my something old, new, borrowed and blue taken care of. She was upset that I didn't have her help with any of that. She asked me what would represent her half of my family on my wedding day. I told her they didn't really need representing and that my step and half siblings will be there, as well as her. She told me I'm not including her whole family like I'm including my paternal and maternal sides and that she already knows I'm wearing some stuff of my mom's and some stuff from maternal family members. She said she wanted to see me honor both moms during the wedding.

I still chose not to wear it.

She's upset because she married my dad when I was 9, after my mom died, and wanted me to embrace her and her family (her kids and extended family) as equally family to me as my mom and dad and maternal and paternal families. She knows I don't. But I know she wants me to take the symbol anyway.

She argued a bit. Then she told my dad and he told me it would be extra sweet and meaningful to make my stepmother happy and show love and acceptance for my third parent and third side of my family.

AITA?