I (26F) am currently engaged to my fiancé (28M), and we’re supposed to get married in two months. We've been saving up for our wedding and honeymoon for the past year, putting aside a significant portion of our income to make our special day perfect. We had about 10k saved in the account.
This weekend, my fiancé had his bachelor party, and I was totally okay with him having a good time. I even helped plan it and made sure everything was organized so he could enjoy himself with his friends. Fast forward to this morning, and I wake up to find that our joint savings account has been completely drained. He spent ALL our savings on his bachelor party.
When I confronted him, he said he got "carried away" and "didn’t realize how much he was spending." He admitted that he paid for his friends' expenses too, thinking it would be a great last hurrah before we tied the knot. I was furious but tried to keep my cool. I told him that he needed to figure out how to replenish the savings because we still had wedding expenses to cover. And blew up about "How could he spend 10K over two days?"
This weekend is my bachelorette party, which has been planned for months. My four best friends have already paid for their share, and I’ve budgeted carefully so that it wouldn’t affect our savings. We're going to a Michelin star restaurant in our city, renting an Airbnb, going for brunch in the morning at one of my favorite restaurants the next day, and I rented out an arcade in our city with unlimited tokens and bought a ton of junkfood and candy for all of us to share. Altogether it was less than 400 dollars a person, including the price of the restaurant, AIRBNB, arcade rental, brunch and ubers with myself spending 1.5k of my personal savings.
But now, my fiancé is demanding that I cancel my weekend to "show solidarity" and "help us save money." He says it’s only fair since he "made a mistake" and we need to cut back on expenses to recover from his spending spree.
I refused to cancel my bachelorette party because 1) I didn’t blow our savings, he did, and 2) my friends have already paid for their share, and I don’t want to let them down. He’s now calling me selfish and saying I’m not being supportive of our future together. He’s even gotten some of his friends and family involved, who are siding with him and saying that I should be more understanding and cancel my bachelorette weekend.
I get that we’re in a tough spot financially now, but I don’t think it’s fair that I should have to cancel my plans because of his irresponsible behavior. I suggested that he could maybe sell some of the stuff he bought during the party or pick up extra work to make up for it and that it is not my problem he blew all the money, but he says I’m being unreasonable. AITA?