Q&As

I (29F) recently gave birth to my first child, a beautiful baby girl named "Lily." My husband (32M) and I have been over the moon, but our joy was ruined by an incident with my in-laws that I can't get over.

For context, my MIL "Karen" (58F) and FIL "Bob" (60M) have always been overbearing and intrusive, but my husband and I have tried to keep the peace. Throughout my pregnancy, Karen constantly criticized my choices, from my diet to my birth plan. She insisted on being in the delivery room, which I firmly declined. She threw a fit, claiming she had every right to be there as the grandmother, but I stood my ground.

When I went into labor, my husband and I headed to the hospital. Everything was progressing normally until I was about to start pushing. That's when the door burst open, and Karen and Bob barged in, having lied to the nurses to gain access. I was in the middle of a contraction, in immense pain, and suddenly had my in-laws in my face, shouting "encouragement" and trying to film the birth on their phones.

I was mortified and enraged. I screamed at them to get out, but they refused, saying they had a right to be there. My husband tried to get them to leave, but they wouldn't budge. The nurses and the other hospital staff had to physically remove them from the room. This caused such a commotion that my labor stalled, and I ended up needing an emergency C-section due to the stress and delay they caused.

After Lily was born, Karen and Bob were unapologetic. They actually had the nerve to post about the birth on social media, including pictures they took during the chaos, without our consent. They announced her name and details before we had a chance to, and even worse, they shared a picture of me they clicked while I was in the delivery room earlier(before the emergency C-section) trying to push.

I was pissed and heartbroken. This was supposed to be a private, special moment for my husband and me, and they completely violated that. I decided then and there that they wouldn’t see Lily until they showed genuine remorse and apologized.

When we got home from the hospital, they demanded to visit. I told them they were not welcome and explained why. Karen blew up, saying I was being cruel and a bitch denying them their rights as grandparents. My husband is supportive but torn because they are his parents. They’ve since started a smear campaign against me to the rest of the family, painting me as the villain who’s keeping their grandchild away for no good reason.

Now, I’m getting calls and messages from extended family(from husband's side), accusing me of being heartless and unforgiving. They say I should put it behind me for the sake of family harmony, but I can’t. Also my husband's 2 sisters are saying that if they were kind enough to forgive me after i threw a 'hissy fit' and embarrassed and insulted them by getting them thrown out or the delivery room, then I should forgive them too. Every time I think about what they did, I get so angry and upset. I don’t trust them, and I don’t want them around my daughter until they truly understand and regret the pain they caused.

AITA for refusing to let my in-laws see my daughter after what they did during her birth?

Yesterday afternoon, a few days after John made the initiating contact that led to this altercation, he reached out by text telling me the following: "I want to take you up on that drink tomorrow if possible, and I want to apologize for my royal fuckups in person." I agreed to meet.

After we kicked off with a round of shots John’s first line was that he failed me as a friend in this situation. With non-family invites, Jane apparently seemed very preoccupied with a philosophy of “couples over singles” at the wedding, and he had previously voiced that he felt it was exclusionary and silly, but I guess Jane prioritized couples on the first round of friend-invites and told John that it will be easier to fit in others after receiving RSVPs. John backed out and says he felt that going along with her initial plan of inviting the rest of our circle (who are, god bless them, coupled up), and not me, and had faith the rsvp thing would materialize. She ended up using the bit of space to plug in some more family.

John admitted he basically folded and felt ashamed enough that he could not find a way to tell me. He knew reaching out to me about that favor was a risk but took it anyways because he wanted someone he could trust, and my response was a materialization of everything he feared would happen, and in his words, deservedly so.

He told me a wedding should be a gathering of your family and company who have been a part of your lives and who you want to be part of your lives, and I fit that bill to him by any measure. He, trying to accurately paraphrase, said I’ve done more than most of the people on the guest list for him and his family over their relationship, including help making memories with trip coverages and helping build their back-deck with him to share meals and host events over the last 6 years. He got visibly upset when he said (with the shot and the drinks we were sipping on kicking in) that he can’t believe Jane even considered holding my single/dating status against me after I got her home safely during a snowstorm earlier this year, and that he did not more adamantly confront that bullshit reasoning the instant she voiced it. He is even more pissed for Jane reaching out to me in the manner she did after my original phone call with him.

John acknowledged it would come off as hollow at this point, but after a few “exchanges” with Jane said there would be no more nonsense and I would at least get a proper invite and +1 if I wanted, and they would make it work if it was even desired by me at this point. He said he is not going to try to do panicked damage control but will be upfront with our circle (one has already dropped the wedding and I guess another couple has said something else, by his reporting) like he was with me for his faults, because he and Jane deserve the blowback and he needs to earn trust back, if it’s at all possible. He has also made it Jane’s problem to find a friend who can come out 9 days in a row to care for the home and pets. With a smirk, he said she’s having a hard time securing it, and may likely have to hire help.

I told John I really appreciated his owning up to this, and it was good to see the friend I had shine through here. I told him that I have always appreciated him and Jane’s friendship, so it hurt when I was excluded and not even addressed, I felt that close enough anyways, and I obviously don’t mean to complicate his wedding, I’ve always thought him and Jane were great for each other (earnestly), I have supported them as best as I can, and I’ve been confused about what I have done or haven’t done to be iced out. I also admitted it’s hard to trust Jane again if she has been weighing the validity of my presence based on my relationship status, and added (with some humor) it’s not like I haven’t been trying and you guys haven’t met some of my previous long-term partners. He said he doesn’t get it either, and she has at least one good friend who is single that she may have burned a bridge with as well over the wedding philosophy she had. I said the friendship is going to be changed and informed by this, at least very different for a while, and I know that you and Jane had a disagreement leading to this but that I hope that the wedding goes on to be a good celebration. I informed him it feels best to take a pass on the invitation, but he said if there was a change of mind, up to the last minute, to let him know, which was kind and he wasn’t desperate/pushy about it.

John said the fault is his for not stepping up on my behalf, that he is sorry, and while he feels (I wouldn’t expect otherwise, and I agree) he is very lucky to have her in his life and thinks their marriage is a positive development for them, he even told her this whole situation will have him questioning and second-guessing her judgment on social matters with his friends for the foreseeable future. By his reporting, but a credit to their relationship, this was quite a blow to her to hear from him but one she accepted and apologized for after their argument(s) about the subject.

Before we parted ways in the parking lot, we gave each other a bro-hug, and John’s voice broke a bit when he said he is sorry one last time, and I think mine did too when I forgave him. It was legitimately surprising and therapeutic to have John be so frank and accountable, but not unlike the friend I’ve known for most of my adult life. It was bittersweet, being all-things-considered a makeup but also a breakup of sorts to what was previously an unquestioned and assumed strong trust and camaraderie. Maybe we can get there again. It seems possible, and it’d be nice.

I’m sitting here after weeks of big feelings stewing on a different shade of big boy feelings now. Thanks for processing with me, reddit.

I do not support political violence. After almost 8 years of stoking violence, threatening opponents, judges, lawyers , jurors and other politicians I can’t help but feel like Trump deserved this. Looks to me like the chickens came home to roost.

Edit: he’s also a child rapist so there’s that.

First of all I just want to thank everyone for all the amazing love and support. For the first time in my life I felt heard and didn't just feel like a burden to people. I dont know what I did to deserve any of this but I just want to let you all know that im beyond grateful❤️

Link to my original post:

As for the update. Shortly after posting, I did decide to go back home. I had work the next day and didn't want to burden my friend with my marital issues any longer.

Appon coming home I was met with with her screaming at me for just leaving the apartment and ghosting her without having an "adult conversation" with her. I just let her know how hurt I was by the things she said to me and that I needed some time to myself to gather my thoughts. She tried arguing back with how there is nothing to think about and that I was being an immature crybaby. From that point onwards we have barely been on speaking terms.

I know a lot of people are going to be mad hearing this but the longer I thought about my marriage and my wife, the more I wanted to give her another chance.

She wasn't perfect by any means but neither was.I. A lot of my past relationships ended as a result of my past catching up with me but I really want to change it this time. She isnt the first partner/friend to have this type of reaction to what I went through. I know its tough but I feel like I just needed to bite the bullet if it meant keeping my sanity. I didn't want to start over again.

After we somewhat started talking to each other again, I sat her down for a serious conversation and let her know again how hurt I was by everything she said. I let her know about all the ridicule I suffered as a result of me opening up and her having the same reaction just reopened unhealed wounds. She just kept quiet until I mentioned couples therapy. She then started crying but not for the reason I thought.

I tried holding her but she just pushed me away and screamed that I seriously thought about ending our marriage over some silly argument we had and that I was just trying to make up some sob story after watching baby rain deer for attention and sympathy. According to her all of this was just too convenient to be believable. If It was real, why didn't I mention any of this throughout the 6 years we have been together? At this point even I started tearing up.

I apologized for keeping this from her for so long and then tried reassuring her that I in fact wasnt making this up but she just slapped me and stormed off to bed.

That was a week ago and I have been sleeping on the couch ever since. Whenever I try to speak to my wife, she just makes snarky comment towards me and just storms off. I just cry myself to sleep most nights and just wish I never fucking watched that show. None of this shit would have happened.

I currently dont have the money for therapy and just feel lost.

I dont want a divorce. I want to try and make this work but this whole mess is just so draining.

Im not in contact with my family so I dont have anyone I can turn to with this.

How would you guys move forward in this situation?

The girls parents finally did the right thing and cut her off. I had passed along their contact information to several dozen Redditors who seemed eager to help. Just an email. I did not reveal their identities or even their names. I believe this pressure convinced them to act.

They finally got the clue that I would in no way take any responsibility for the child.

Between her parents no longer funding her and the current climate in Spain against visitors the child's mother has returned.

I have washed my hands of the entire situation. Except for one thing.

I have spoken with the lawyers and I will be splitting some of Roger's estate into three parts for the children. My children will get theirs immediately as they are adults. The child's money will be going into a trust with his brother and sister as the trustees. This will take some doing and as such will mean more money goes to the lawyers. Perhaps Shakespeare was correct with regards to that profession.

My children are now less enthusiastic about their young sibling but that is neither here nor their. They were the ones who insisted I involve myself. If there is anything left when I pass they can split that between themselves as I will not be leaving anything to that child.

Thank you all for your help in my reaching clarity. I was letting my anger cloud my judgement and sense of fairness.

I went on a date with a guy, who I met through a dating app. The date started out good, we had a great time until I asked him what he does for work. He said he is a tradesman and I asked what kind of. He seemed to hesitate for half a second then said carpenter.

I started asking him questions, like what kind of carpentry he does, furniture, structural, roofing, etc. Carpentry is such an interesting topic so I was genuinely curious. But he fumbled and kind of tried to change the topic, which I was not having. He ended up admitting that he is not a carpenter, he just wanted to test me.

He apparently makes a lot of money and wants women to like him because of his personality and not for his money. So he has to be cautious and made up a “low-paying job” as a test.

I told him his personality is dishonest and he failed my test of being a decent person.

When I was complaining to one of my friends, she said that I overreacted a bit and at least should’ve asked about his past experiences, because he has probably been burned before and I have no idea what it’s like to be a high earning man. But I kind of do have an idea, as I work with a lot of well-paid men and none of them do outrageous bullshit like this. AITAH?

So, my GF has had a BF who I came to know to be well served down there (she even said that THAT wasn’t normal).

As any guy, I was a bit taken aback by this, but it is what it is. She says she likes me as it is, and we never had any issues in bed.

However, last month we were talking and the conversation got to orgasms. Here, she shared that he was the only guy that made her climax without using her own fingers. Just by doing it…and it completely stuck in my head. I cannot not think about it when we get intimate.

She asked what’s wrong after a few refuses from my side, I explained what it was and she told me that it doesn’t mean anything, to just get over it. But man, that stings to know and I would rather she didn’t share. AITAH?

My 9 year old son wanted cereal this morning, we were out of milk, so we ran to the dollar general to grab some. He ended up trying to refuse to eat his cereal this morning because he didn’t like the brand of milk we had to get. We just moved and I haven’t had time to do a big grocery haul yet.. He said it tasted “weird”. It’s not expired, and tasted like regular ole milk to me.

I told him that he needs to learn to be more grateful. That there are humans all over the world who lack basic resources like water, and that he should appreciate that we have the means to get milk and groceries, even if they are from the dollar general.

Now he’s saying I’m a terrible mom, and he hates me.

AITA?

So every year since 2021, my 16 year old daughter and her friends had been going to the beach for 5 days during summer break. 4 days ago, My sister and her daughter (Who is 14) had come over just for a little gathering and to play some games. My daughter’s friends had called her during one of the games and asked what they should pack for the beach trip, for example what swimsuits, sweaters, accessories and all of that. My daughter had recommended some things and talked about how pumped she was for the trip. My niece and sister had overheard, and my niece began to say how she really wanted to go. My sister responded with- “Oh you wanna go to the beach trip with your cousin?” My niece responds saying “Yeah!” And looked at me then my daughter. My sister then asked my daughter what day the beach trip would be and how my niece should go because they need to spend some cousin time. My daughter said that her friends wouldn’t feel comfortable and it would be better for her and my niece to go another day. My sister said that its best my niece goes, and that my daughter’s friends would love my niece. I interrupted saying no, and that this was a time for my daughter and her friends to enjoy their time together and my niece will not be going. My niece started screaming saying how it’s unfair that my daughter gets everything she wants and how she just wants to enjoy the beach for a few days. My daughter says too bad, which I knew would probably hit a nerve for my niece. Then my niece gets up and slaps my daughter across the face and starts crying and screaming. My daughter pushes her off, and my sister grabs MY daughter by her arm and pushes her. My daughter starts crying and runs up to her room, I get up and yell at my sister saying how she shouldn’t put her hands on my daughter and her daughter shouldn’t either. My sister begins to try and grab me to do something which I have legit no idea, and then she screams and grabs her daughter and leaves. I run up to console my daughter, and let her know my niece by no means at all will be going to the beach trip. My daughter hugs me for a bit, to comfort her I just order her a few things because she is a shopaholic lol. Later, I receive a message from my mom saying how I was unfair and a terrible aunt for excluding my niece from the beach trip. I blocked anyone who thought they were about to make me feel bad for considering my daughter and my daughter only. I am starting to wonder if I am in the wrong though because my family has been sending me messages on how I spoil my daughter and THAT SHES GOING TO BE A BRAT WHEN SHE GROWS Up?! I seriously don’t know. Any advice would be appreciated.

Firstly, thank you to those who helped me get to my husband's icloud backups through an old iPad. I wasn't expecting much from reddit, but I got valuable practical advice before my post was locked, and I appreciate it.

There were no crazy, or even suspicious messages. I've searched for over 100 terms and scrolled back over years. I saw a side of them both I wasn't expecting, but nothing that explains the claim I murdered Laura over their chats. Nothing to suggest he was cheating. Absolutely nothing to suggest incest. I repeat: NO INCEST. No weird gaps where deleted conversations or a switch to another app would fit. Just siblings making plans, sending memes, and gossiping. They said unexpectedly horrible stuff about a few people, but not me. It was a sort of relief but it raised more questions than it answered.

I sought legal advice, also from reddit, after posting here. Turns out my options are divorce him or sit down. I contacted my community mental health team, who said they'd reach out, but made it clear it wasn't urgent. I then called his mum and said that if I didn't hear from him by this weekend, I would get a solicitor and ask for a mental heath assessment as part of the divorce. In response, he made a ridiculous post to Facebook (which neither of us have used in years) and everything blew up. I'm going to try to keep this succinct.

On Friday night, he made a long accusation on Facebook, with new information. He said he'd been planning to leave me for months with his sister's support, and I found the messages, and murdered her. The coroner has reopened the case and the police are preparing to arrest me, and he needs to make sure people know before the trial stops him talking about it. It was well written and seemed vaguely plausable.

He messaged people links so it got some attention - we live in our hometown, and have a large circle of friends because we've been here all our lives. People I haven't spoken to since school were reaching out to me asking wtf was going on. It was madness.

In response, I posted the export of his entire conversation history with Laura, also to Facebook (when I finally got back in). I linked to the chat along with a post explaining my side, and noting that I had changed my ex's icloud and apple passwords, and that if he wanted them back, he should comment on my post and update his own, admitting that he was lying. He eventually did.

When I started getting messages about his post, I panicked, and changing his passwords seemed important to preserve everything because he'd know I had access. When I spoke to him the next morning it's clear he's not having a mental episode at all, but is claiming one because he's been caught in a big lie. As soon as he was outed, he called me, clearly drunk, begging and promising to explain everything if I deleted my post. I hung up and told him to call back the next day. He did (after many missed calls and texts), and he tried to bargain and guilt trip me with his mental health until it was clear the wrong people had seen his conversation. It's hard to describe but it seemed fake. It was too well rehearsed, and then this morning, when it was clear he was getting nowhere, he blocked me.

Begging for mercy and reciting facts about mental disorders doesn't align with someone in crisis with a sincere belief that someone murdered their sibling. The question of why he did all this remains unanswered, and he will not be getting his passwords until it is. The legal advice subreddit said this stuff is technically illegal but it's beneath a court to take action, so I'm going to count on that because I felt like I had no other choice at the time, and now I don't see any other way to get answers from him. I am desperate and it's all I've got.

So there we are. The relationship I have believed was my destiny since I was a teenager has boiled down to petty, convoluted and vindictive bullshit, played out on social media, for reasons still unknown. My hope for a brain tumour is fading and clearly tomorrow morning is going to be when I lawyer up and stop posting about this. I am mortified, I have no idea whether some people might believe him, and I still don't know why this all happened in the first place. Sorry I don't have a happier update, and thanks once again to everyone who offered advice.

England's just lost the Euros to Spain, how are we feeling?

I (34M) was at a family BBQ recently with my wife's extended family. It was a nice gathering until my 4-year-old niece kicked me hard in the groin while we were playing. It was incredibly painful, and I instinctively yelped in pain and grabbed my groin area.

I was shocked and in pain, but I managed to regain composure after a minute. I thought it was important to address her behavior, so I calmly took her aside and explained that kicking people, especially in sensitive areas, is not okay and can hurt them badly. I didn't yell or scold her aggressively; I just wanted her to understand that actions have consequences and that it's important to respect others' boundaries.

However, as soon as I started talking to her, my wife and several of her family members jumped in and started berating me for "overreacting" and "scaring" the poor girl. They said she's just a child and didn't mean any harm, and that I was being too harsh on her. My wife even pulled me aside later and said I embarrassed her in front of her family.

I tried to explain that I wasn't trying to scare anyone; I was simply trying to teach her not to hurt people. But they insisted that I should have just let it go and not made a big deal out of it.

I feel conflicted now. On one hand, I believe children need to learn boundaries and consequences for their actions, and kicking someone in the groin is a serious matter. On the other hand, I don't want to create tension with my wife's family or upset my wife. AITAH?

My wife (f26) and I (f27) are trying to have a baby. I will be the one to carry the baby and my wife has a brother (24) that she's close with. It seemed like the perfect idea to ask him for help.....his sperm. That way our baby would be biologically related to both of us and they would be able to have a relationship with their birth-father. We asked him on Christmas day and he immediately said yes! Yay! In the following month we set him up with doctor's appointments, supplements etc to make sure everything is safe and „good quality". We also gifted him some of his favorite stuff as a „Thank you" every once in a while. We probably spent around 1000 on gifts during that time. We also are paying for a vacation to Germany for him this winter. Every couple of weeks we made sure to check in with him to see if he had any questions, concerns or had changed his mind. We then set up a written „Donor agreement" stating that he won't seek parental rights, that we won't be putting him on the birth certificate, that we're paying for all his medical expenses etc. The agreement also clearly stated that „the donor will receive no financial compensation" (not uncommon with a known donor). We all sat down to read and sign the agreement together, again, checking in about ANY questions he had. "Nope, sounds good to me" was the response. Fast forward to the day before my ovulation. We were so excited about trying for the first time and had everything set up and ready to go. Out of nowhere, Brother in Law texts my wife asking "What's the compensation for this?" We were so confused, hurt and sad. Turns out, he expected "~ to pay him 8-12k dollars. That's not even close v what we could afford. He told us to fuck off and adopt and that he is "not doing that shit for free". Are we the assholes in this?

I recently got married and I will admit my mom is a lot. I have fully backed my now wife in telling my mom this is not her wedding and her place is to be quiet and support us and our decisions. My mom does like attention. My wife wanted a cohesive look for our family and wedding party and assigned both moms a color to wear.

My mom was supposed to wear pink but showed up in a teal. She said she was sorry but she got glass embedded in her collar bone the night before at a work party and the teal dress was the only one she owned with a high neck. Also she wasn't lying. She was late that morning because she was just leaving the ER and she has bandages.

My wife was pissed and snapped at my mother that she can't follow even simple directions. I thought the issue was forgotten but we got back from our honeymoon and she brought up how my mom was rude to do that. I said it wasn't really her fault as she was injured. My wife asked if I was really defending her. I said I don't think she did anything wrong and my wife blew up. She said my mom just had to fuck it up and maybe she shouldn't have gone to her company party the night before as she knows what they are like. She ended up being distant that night and I can tell she is hurt. I just don't think my mom did anything wrong this time.

I believe in teaching my kids no means no under ANY circumstances. As a parent this is one of my hills to die on. My in laws think I'm too uptight. Even my husband doesn't totally get it. I've told my in laws that if they want my kids around they need to model healthy behavior. As a result some of them have taken up the attitude that they just won't see us.

This happened over the fourth of July but my husband and I still can't agree, so I'm just asking. We were at a pool party at my FILs house. He was in the pool with his fiancee and she was wrapped around him as she didn't want to get wet. A couple people were giving her shit about having her hair and makeup done and FIL was like "should I do it." She very clearly said "don't you dare" and he dunked her in the pool.

Everyone thought it was funny. I mean she slapped him but she smirked. I was pissed because while it might seem minor, i have told them again and again. I told my husband I wanted to go as his dad knew how strongly I felt. My husband said I was being a control freak. He refused to help so I packed up on my own. When we got to the car he blew up that I'm controlling and why am I judging them and even implied they are probably happier than we are. He still thinks I overreacted and ruined the fourth for the kids

I'm 16f. I was getting some stuff at a Dollar General, and I was wearing some short shorts and a big t-shirt. This lady came up to me and said "you're wearing shorts, right?"

I said "no, i thought it would be fun to go barepussy shopping"

She get upset and caused a ruckus. AITA?

After watching the video, it seems like it was a way to get sympathy from voters. How far would he go to get votes?

My ex girlfriend from college had an 8 hour layover in NYC and needed a place to crash over night. She called me to ask if she could come by freshen up and take a nap.

I hadn’t spoken to her for over 10 years, after she chose a guy over me whom she eventually married. She stopped returning my calls and I eventually found out she got married by her name change on FB.

When she called me for the favor I said no, call your husband.

She responded that he didn’t have the money for a hotel, blah, blah, blah.

Not my problem.

She and my older sister are sorority sisters and she called my sister to complain. My sister says I should have helped her out, since I lived 10 minutes away from the airport and we had a “past”.

AITA???

Like a full-out, fast as you can, sprint.

Okay so I decided to send this to bride, I also told my mother in law who I’m super close with what was going on. I’ll start with bride first.

So as I predicted she was a little mad I put her buisness online.

I called her and we made small talk for a couple on minutes avoiding the elephant but then I told her I posted about this on Reddit. I sent her the link while we were in call. She didn’t yell or anything but she told me I shouldn’t have done that. I assured her I didn’t use any names or defining descriptions and she hung up the phone. A few minutes later she called me back and told me she scrolled through the comments and stuff and it made her feel a bit better. Then she apologized for “snapping” at me but I don’t feel like she did.

She told me that she felt like a lot of the comments were “blowing things out of proportion” when it comes to how you guys speak of the mother in law and groom.

She said MIL isn’t evil like the post made her out to be, she also said she understands why MIL insisted on ex being bc at wedding and that when MIL threatened to burn down the house she wasn’t being serious and it was taken out of context.

When I asked stuff like are you still gonna get married to groom she just kept saying idk and she sounded sad so I dropped it.

She also told me she doesn’t think groom cheated on her and that my husband just has a bad perception of groom because he has a “hard shell to crack.”

After we hung up me and my husband called his mother to update her on what’s happening because she couldn’t make it to the wedding.

My husbands mother told us that the ex never really saved MILs life, basically all she did was inject her with an epi pen for a mild allergy. My Mil feels like saying “she saved her life” was just for dramatics to guilt the bride into letting ex attend wedding.

My MIL also feels like the brides MIL had nothing to do with the ex sabotaging the wedding. She said that the brides mil isn’t an idiot and even if she did love the ex that much she would never purposely ruin her son’s wedding cuz she’s one of those boy moms.

If it's neccesary, how non-car owners deal with it in their daily lifes?

Could they live in a wheelchair for the rest of their lives?

while by global standards, european cities have amongst the best public transportation, what city do you think takes the top spot in the continent?