Q&As

AITA for not giving up my seat on the 10 hour plane ride? So I (25F) went on a 10 hour plane ride out of the country around a week ago! I booked the aisle seat because I don’t like having to climb over people to go to the restroom! We’re about to take off when a mother of I think a 9 or so year old comes up to me and asks if we can switch seats, (she had a middle seat) I told her no and I p liked it for a reason! She got very mad and started yelling and her kid was crying, I just put in my headphones and didn’t gaf! When the plane landing a got nasty comments and was called a horrible person and an asshole! So was I the AH?

EDIT- just answering some common questions, the kid was sitting close to or next to his mom form what I could see. I had an empty seat next me where I assume th kid would have sat. And I am sorry about the explanation points folks lmao

I (35F) have been married to my husband (36M) for five years now, and we've always had differences in how we view modesty. My husband is extremely conservative and has strict beliefs about what my daughter (13F) can not wear. He doesn't allow her to wear clothes that show her shoulders or anything that he deems too revealing. This has extended to the point where he doesn't even let her visit her friends because he doesn't trust them.

Recently, this has started to take a toll on her emotionally and socially. She has begun to feel isolated and resentful towards everyone around me, including my husband.

Last week, I finally had enough. I let her go out to visit for friends for a few hours and let her wear what she feels comfortable in.

Now, he's giving me the silent treatment, and I'm not sure how to proceed. So Reddit AITA?

EDIT: No, I didn't know he was like this from the start before we hit married. My daughter was about 8, and they got along pretty well, and he was a nice guy he just turned like this over time, and it had been about 6 months now a few days after her 13th birthday, I'm trying all I can to prevent my daughter from this!

The wedding is off. After the conflict between me and my brother's former fiancée, which resulted in a phone call from my brother, I decided to text her 3 days later to apologize. Even though my family and the internet sided with me, I just didn't want any bad mojo or to be a SIL from hell. My text was met with a lot of anger on my dad's behalf, which really surprised me because the man supports me no matter what. He was telling me how I shouldn't have been the one to apologize and he let another thing slip out - end of February, the bride's dad asked my dad, in confidence, if he could pitch in additional money for his daughter's dream wedding because he didn't think it was fair he had to pay more due to tradition. My mom didn't know about this which prompted fight number one.

My dad was pissed that I was the one to apologize even though I was the one that was insulted, so he called my brother behind our backs and told him that he respects the fact that she will be his wife and his primary family, but how he also thinks he should've checked her for insulting me the same way he checked me for crossing a boundary. He then did what dads sometimes do best - go off with a monologue after keeping shit inside for months. He told him about the additional money that he gave and he told him he wasn't convinced the overlapping events were a coincidence. Fight number two ensued. My brother called our mom the next day to tell her the wedding was off, all hell broke loose.

We then couldn't get in touch with my brother or his fiancée for almost a week. Her mom then got ahold of my work email and emailed me saying I had ruined her daughter's life. I forwarded the email to my brother and he finally called me back. He said it felt like she wanted to marry for the wedding, not for the marriage. She also admitted to making her dad ask our dad for more money so she could afford a wedding flower package she wanted that was an additional $7000, and she saw nothing wrong with keeping it a secret from my brother. She also refused to at least acknowledge my apology and to apologize back to me. My brother told her he would like to postpone the wedding and work on their issues and she ended up calling off the wedding and breaking up with him.

My relationship with my brother is still a wreck, he said he needs time because he loves her but he understands she didn't prioritize him as much as he did her. Grandma's birthday bash is back on, and we're happy for her, she's excited as heck after the initial turmoil. I miss my brother so much and it sucks knowing how heartbroken he is, but at least he's talking to my parents and he has the rest of the family as his support system. I really hope we can rebuild our relationship someday. I'm glad he won't marry the wrong person for the wrong reasons, but it's awful being the trigger to his life falling apart and I regret everything.

My child's mother is hiding apple air tags in my Daughter's hair when she comes with me for my parenting time. This is the second one I have found. The first one I found because my phone notified me thst there was a device tracking me.I made it beep and found it hidden in my Daughter's hair bun. She knows I am an android user and most likely doesn't know that we get notified when there is an airtag like iphones. I threw that one away. Now I have a second one but this time I recorded everything and itnwas hidden more in black lace. Is this legal? It feels very illegal. If I was tracking her movements it would not look good so I want to know what can I do if anything about this. Please help.

I (29F) just married my husband (37M). We have been together for 7 years and have been engaged for 5 years. We decided to do a courthouse wedding about a month ago, since we have continuously put it off in favor of other financial investments (new house, home renovations, etc). 2 days after we got married I found out he was cheating on me. I asked that he tell me the full truth about the affair including dates. He lied and said it was just exchanging pictures for a month and that he ended it. I later found out that it had lasted for 18 months and that the person he had the affair with ultimately just ghosted him because he was never willing to have her over and kept telling her different lies as to why they couldn’t meet up. In therapy, we decided that he should leave the house to give me time to process the situation. He agreed.

Now we’re working on finding him somewhere to stay and despite not knowing details of the situation, none of our friends are willing to let him stay with them (he’s asking for a week). His only option is to stay with his dad even though he has no extra bed (just an extra room) and no internet. Our finances are joint and I told him we could pay for internet and a bed at his dad’s.

He is telling me that I’m an asshole because I “could easily stay with my family” even though they’re an hour and a half away and I am expected to be at work at 7am. I don’t feel that it is fair for me to have to stay somewhere else, away from my pets and work, because of his actions. I should note, that he unemployed so it doesn’t really matter where he lives, as long as he has internet and the ability to apply and interview for jobs.

Am I the asshole? Should I be staying elsewhere?

F24 Brand new to Reddit but I’m in a very difficult situation and I have no idea what to do. I work in the hospitality sector of a national park. A few days ago two members of upper-management summoned me into their office and asked me if I had concerta. I asked them to repeat the question several times because I thought I misheard them. I hadn’t. I asked them how they found out details of my personal medical information and they refused to tell me. They then asked me to give them a couple of pills. They continually emphasized that it was completely up to me but the nature of the situation didn’t make me feel like it was. I agreed to give them the pills and ran back to my dorm room, grabbed my prescription bottle, went back to the office, and dumped a couple of pills into one of the manager’s hands. Immediately after I left the office the shock wore off and I realized what I had done. I started sobbing uncontrollably. Over the past few days I’ve been so overwhelmed with guilt and anxiety. Every time I see one of the managers I feel like I’m gonna have a panic attack. These managers are notoriously vile. They rule by fear; constantly threatening to fire people or write people up for minor, unintentional, or even fabricated infractions. I still have no idea how they know about my medication. It’s possible that they went through my personal belongings during a dorm inspection or that someone I previously trusted enough to talk about my adhd with tipped them off that I had an amphetamine prescription. I’m so scared they’re going to use what I did to threaten or blackmail me. I’m also scared of what they might feel comfortable asking me to do in the future now that I’ve demonstrated I will do something illegal for them if asked. I want to talk to hr or a third party but I know that what I did could lead to me losing my prescription, getting fired, or even getting arrested. On the other hand, I’m absolutely wracked with fear and guilt and I don’t know how much longer I can take feeling like this. I guess my question is whether it’s in my best interest to report this incident. I’m so scared of the repercussions but I can’t stand this hanging over me and I’m afraid of the situation escalating. Any advice will be appreciated. I know what I did was so stupid. If I could go back in time I would have immediately hopped in my car and driven right out of the park to the HR headquarters but again, I was not in my right mind due to the shock of the situation. Please help.

My wife (24F) and I (28M) had our first baby five months ago. We’ve been together for 6 years, married for 5. He is a beautiful little boy and we gave him the same first name as my wife’s father, ‘Keith’.

My wife grew up hating her father for cheating on her mother and abandoning the family. In the past decade, he worked tirelessly to improve their relationship. In her family, it’s typically tradition for the first grandson and granddaughter to be named after their grandparents and my wife was proud to name our son after her father.

However, a few weeks ago, my wife and her father had a MASSIVE argument.

Turns out, he is convinced that for some reason, I am going to cheat on my wife. He thinks we got married too young and I’ll get bored of her now that she’s devoting all her time to our son.

He told my wife this after she opened up to him about how worried she was about being pregnant so soon after giving birth. We didn’t plan the second pregnancy and a few days after the argument my wife miscarried and it was a painful moment for the both of us.

Essentially, he kicked her while she was already down for no reason. I had a friendly relationship with him but I know he wanted my wife to marry someone from her own background.

Since the argument, my wife has not been calling our son by his name. She’s using nicknames, calling him ‘the baby’ etc. She said that she needs time to get over the argument with her dad, but she also blames him for the miscarriage which is something I don’t think she’ll get over. FIL has made no attempts to apologise or reconcile.

A month into my wife refusing to use our baby’s name, I said that we needed to change it because it’ll be better for my wife’s mental health and our son’s development. If this argument continues or is ever brought up again, she can’t be too upset to use his name when he’s old enough to actually know it.

We’ve started the process now to change the name and somehow it got back to FIL AND he knows that I suggested it. He is infuriated. He said that I was supposed to be the levelheaded one since my wife is post partum and recovering from a miscarriage and that I’ve just made their rift a million times worse since I’ve denied him the family tradition. My in laws think I’m an asshole for insisting on the name change since now it’ll be even harder for them to reconcile. I don’t think I’m an AH but my brother said it would be a good idea to get an unbiased opinion. AITA?

Edit: Keith is not the real name. Just used it for the post.

So my (29m) Fiancé (27f) has gained some weight over the last year. Didn’t really seem like a ton to me, just a little puffier really. Anyways we were going to our anniversary dinner and she asked me what the dress code was. Gave her some examples of what they place allowed and continued getting ready.

She asked me to get her a jumpsuit from the closet I got her over Christmas. She hadn’t worn it yet. I got her a size small. Her normal size has always been a small. While she’s gained weight, she usually still wears the same clothing. This jumpsuit is actually identical to one she already owns (and wore immediately prior to me purchasing this one) except the one I got her was a different color and pattern, little dressier for date nights. Historically I’ve always been good at picking clothing for her and she always loves my choices and wears them a lot.

She put it on and started yelling because it didn’t fit her. She proceeded to say all I ever do is get her smalls and she got really angry. My exact words were “im sorry i thought since it’s the same as your yellow jumpsuit you wore right before I bought this around Christmas it would work. You usually always wear smalls I guess I didn’t realize your size changed so much since then”

Well that didn’t end well. Now she won’t speak to me. Anniversary dinner was canceled. I guess my phrasing wasn’t the best but I was also trying to explain how this was a purchase from a while back and I just didn’t know her size changed that much since Christmas. I mean she was wearing smalls even recently so I was just thrown. She is accusing me of calling her fat and body shaming her and trying to make her feel bad about herself so she will lose weight. Those accusations are so far out of this world I don’t even respond to them. She won’t let it go and is digging deeper. Was what I said really that bad?

I also found out she’s been lying to me about her size. She recently purchased a couple a new items a month or so ago and she was saying how happy she is she still fits into the smalls. Those items were the same brand as the jumpsuit so I thought I’d see to confirm that she is indeed still wearing smalls. checked the size on one of those new tops to see and turns out it’s a large. I had no idea. I didn’t tell her about that find but just adds more confusion to my mind. She tells me one thing that’s a lie and then gets mad about me doing something that is based on that lie. It’s just a lot.

I, (20F) have a college roommate “Michelle” (34F) who I share summer housing with in our university’s dorms. Michelle is super sweet to me and despite our age gap we get along really nicely. It’s a great dorm situation and I think Michelle sees me as a little sister. I mostly like to cook my meals in our dorm kitchen but sometimes I treat myself to eating out. This is where the problem started.

A lot of the time, Michelle will join me to eat out, either because she’s free and I want company when my friends are busy or because she invited me somewhere and I was free to come along. Lately, Michelle had been showering me in extra attention and even paying for most of my meals when we eat out. She’s super generous with her money but has no job and is completely reliant on her parents. I always told her that it was fine and that I could pay for myself but she always refused.

One day we went out to eat at a slightly nicer sushi restaurant to celebrate being done with midterms. To put it as politely as possible, Michelle is a bigger girl so she ordered dumpling appetizers, 5 sushi roles, and a drink. She usually orders 2-3 meals per restaurant we go to. I got one sushi roll and water because it was $10-$17 a roll and I’m not a big eater.

When we were halfway through the meal, Michelle suggests that it’s my turn to pay for both our meals. I say, what do you mean? We never set up any kind of agreement. She got really upset, claiming that she “paid for all my other meals” and it was my turn to pay her back now. I told her I’m grateful that she was generous enough to pay for my other meals but I didn’t know there was an expectation to return the favor, especially because she ordered disproportionately more food than me and I couldn’t afford that much for one meal. Michelle got pissed and said something about how “your parents are so rich you can afford anything” and how one meal won’t break my bank. It’s true that my parents are paying for my college expenses and I’m eternally grateful that I won’t end up with any debt, but they give me a strict monthly budget that covers my groceries and gas. All the money I use to treat myself comes from my summer job. I told her that and she went silent for the rest of the meal. When we were finished, I made sure to ask for separate checks and she hasn’t said a word to me since.

I’m really worried that this caused a rift in our friendship, maybe I was being unreasonable and I should have just paid for her meal. AITA?

Old time listeners of Loveline might remember this being a talking point.

American bra sizes offer a very strange range of measurements - AA goes to A, then normal alphabet progression B, C, D.

But then again to DD, DDD. Then back to E, F, etc.

I understand European sizing is more straight forward A->F+ without the double letter stuff.

What is the reason or origin behind the idea of "double D", "triple D" etc. vs. just going to the logical next letter of the alphabet? Was it a marketing ploy?

Firstly my baby is okay. She got over the infection and the damage to her poor little ear was only cosmetic. My parents have agreed that they will pay for any reconstructive surgery that might be needed.

They also both got their noses pierced. I had one of my friends down there verify it.

My dad got his pierced like a bull so he can flip it up inside his nose. My mom got her nostril done.

Neither of them thought I was serious until we ignored them for a couple of months. No pictures no nothing.

My husband is still furious but has agreed to accept their apologies.

We also made sure that they understood that we would not be leaving our baby alone with them under any circumstances.

They are going to have to go a long time to rebuild our trust.

Before you ask. No I will not force them to keep their piercings. The deal was that they did it.

I'll try to make a long story short. My brother (35m) passed away in April in a pretty traumatic accident that left my mom devastated and depressed. Not only is she upset about his passing but she seems to be stuck on how he passed. She told me the other day she can't sleep because she keeps wondering if he was scared or if he suffered while he waited for the paramedics to show up.

Shes been pretty isolated and refusing to leave the house since it happened but I convinced her to go over to a 4th of July family party on Thursday. Before we got there I text everyone to let them know not to bring up anything to do with the accident because she was still upset about it and it would set her off. I specifically had a longer conversation with my cousin (22f) because she has always struggled with just blurting out everything she thinks even if its rude or offensive. We've had problems with this in the past and she always says its because she's autistic and can't control it or she just doesn't understand why she shouldn't be allowed to say certain things. I tried to explain as clearly as possible why she shouldn't bring up the accident to my mom because it would hurt and upset her and she seemed to understand.

Not even 5 minutes into being in the room with my mom she starts talking about how she can't think about my brother without getting upset because she just knows that he must of suffered so bad and he died in such a horrible way etc. Multiple people tried to stop her and I even cut her off a couple of times but she just kept going and going. At this point my mom was crying bad. I had to take my cousin out of the house and we got into an argument because I accused her of doing it on purpose. I just can't understand how you can have a room full of people telling you to shut up and you keep going because you don't "understand". Anyway, we got in an argument where I essentially made her leave the party because my mom wouldn't stop crying and cousin just kept doubling down saying she didn't understand why mom was crying because she was just telling the truth. She did end up leaving but only after the hosts came and told her to leave too.

Now her and her parents are texting me and my mom saying I need to apologize to her because I was "discriminating" against her and it wasn't her fault she couldn't understand when people are upset. AITA for making her leave the party? I also don't think I should have to apologize, but I do know people with autism do sometimes struggle with understanding people and emotions so maybe I'm just not getting it.

In the pub watching the England game. Man next to me accidentally knocked my beer all over me. It definitely was not because of the excitement 😳

He apologised, asked me what it was and offered to replace it, returned with a half pint. I presume I must’ve looked a bit surprised because he commented that he wasn’t buying me a full pint because it wasn’t full when he knocked it over. True.

But I’m covered in lager! Surely there’s a rule that you at least buy the ‘victim’ a pint?

I didn’t say anything, but seethed. What’s the rules here?

Edit- title should say spilt drink!

I know this is going to come across as first world problems.

I am currently at a job where I earn about $250,000 a year. I have an opportunity for a job where I will get $640,000 a year.

The caveat being that the new job is overseas. I will be gone for four months at a time instead of four weeks at a time.

My girlfriend is unhappy. She says that she doesn't want me gone for that long. That she will get lonely. I tried to explain that I will only be doing this job for one or two years. And that the money I make sets us up for a bright future. We can pay off all out debts. We can buy a house. We can travel on my off time.

She then said that she doesn't care about any of that and that if I'm gone for that long she might need company. I didn't understand at first and I said that we could get the dog she has been wanting to get.

She said she meant human company. I said that she had lots of company at work and at school and she was welcome to use our place to socialize all she wanted. She then spelled it out because I was stupid to think she was a decent human.

She said that she wasn't going to go for months without sex.

I said I completely understood and broke up with her.

She is going crazy right now. She is at her sister's house and calling me and texting constantly. She says that I misunderstood and that she would never cheat on me.

Like I said I'm gone for a month at a time now so I'm pretty sure she's been "lonely" before. I can't trust her and I'm not going to try and build a future with someone who can't think about plans.

I am 22M going on 23, in my 5th year of my undergrad, and my family likes to do long vacations every summer in their camper. They were traveling all summer and we met up with them, and from the moment we met up with them my dad especially has not talked to me or been very nice towards me. He had his own share of stuff that happened on the trip with his truck which is what I initially thought the issue was.

After a few nights my mom brought up how they wanted to renovate their basement into a 1 bedroom apartment, partly so I can move in without rent, partly to raise the value of their house.

This year I had many problems with apartments, having to move 3 times because of roommates, ex girlfriends, and/or landlord issues, which led to my parents trying to convince me it would be best for me to move into their basement. With my financial issues, they pitched it as a way for me to save money and stress. My brother has been following every piece of advice they give him and he is obviously favored because of this, on top of his major being one that will start higher then I will probably ever end up with (I’m going to be a music teacher). I also had gotten caught smoking weed a few years ago which I still do and don’t tell them, but I feel like if I tell them anything about my life it immediately is followed by advice I didn’t ask for or an opinion I didn’t ask for.

I told my family I didn’t want to move into their basement because of the amount of fighting that happens whenever we live together, on top of me wanting to live independently as I feel like I’ve always been reliant on my parents and in their shadows (my dad was my high school science teacher so I never felt like I was able to fully define who I was in school cause of that, another major issue we had back in the day).

Long story short, now my parents things I’m being stupid for not doing the more financially smart thing and moving back in with them, when I have a full time job as a manager of a restaurant on top of going to school. It’s stressful but not as bad for my mental health as me living with them full time. I’m in a bit of credit card debt but nothing a few months of work couldn’t fix. Now I just feel like no matter what I say to them I will be the asshole of the family for not taking their charity when I just want to live my own life and figure out who I am outside of them. They still so things like track my phone and refuse to let me have my own bank account, and are still trying to pay for my school, but I feel like no matter what I do from here I will be the asshole if I don’t follow their “advice”

My (33f) entitled sister in law (25f) came to me last night demanding that I plan and give her everything to home school her oldest (5m) for grade 1 next fall. I am a teacher with a masters degree in education but I don’t do grade 1, I’ve never taught it and honestly don’t have the expertise to do a good job of getting a child started with reading. I teach grade 4/5 and am a math specialist. I don’t have the training to teach early reading and phonics. Because I’m not qualified for grade 1 and would not be able to teach it at school as I lack early childhood or early primary courses I turned down the request.

My MIL and SIL think I’m being the AH because I refused to put together a grade 1 program, print it and deliver it to my SIL once a week for her to follow. Doing so would be 6-8 hours of my time a week to prepare the materials and plan for the activities for one child on top of planning for the 30 children in my grade 4/5 class. My husband tried to find a middle ground that I could help his sister find the resources and order them but wouldn’t be responsible for day to day planning and organizing. That wasn’t good enough for SIL who wants everything in a binder for the week with lesson plans, directions and all materials printed and prepared.

SIL is saying it’s my duty as a family member to help educate her son and by refusing I’m denying him an education. The child currently has a spot at the public school I teach in but she disagrees with a lot of school policies and the child has special needs that need specific instructional methods I’m not trained in.

AITAH for refusing to help homeschool my nephew when I don’t have the training to do a good job?