Q&As

Hey guys, need some advice on a sticky situation. So, I had plans with my boyfriend for a chill Friday night, dinner and a movie at his place. But right before heading over, I got hit with my period and all the lovely symptoms that come with it.

I was feeling pretty rough, so when he asked if he could help, I finally spoke up and asked if he could pick up some tampons on his way home. It's literally a two-minute drive from his place. Instead of just saying yes, he laughed it off and suggested we go together later. I was shocked and ended up running to the store myself.

Later, when I asked him why he didn't just do me this favor, he said he didn't want to embarrass himself and was busy with a game. That was it for me I ended things right then and there.

Now I'm wondering, was I overreacting? Should I have given him another chance?

This is my first time posting on reddit. Slightly confused by our interaction tonight. As background, we have 4.5 month old twins that have only just started sleeping through the night, so having time to ourselves again in the evening is a novelty. He works.. I look after the twins 5 days a week 8-6.

We were settled in bed watching tv. I had brought us up a drink each about an hour before this. I asked him if he would mind grabbing us another drink as I was warm in bed. He said no. I asked why, and he replied that he was also in bed.

I was a little annoyed. More so because every single morning I bring him a coffee in bed (even when I was pregnant and the smell made me gag). I bring him drinks if I’m in bed and he is thirsty in the bath. I’d get up to hoover the moths away if they make him uncomfortable. I think my love language is acts of service. If you read into that sort of stuff. I always thought that doing something like that isn’t a big deal if it’s for your partner.

I told him I was a bit put out - just to be honest with him. He told me he was not my personal slave and he didn’t realise that he had to ‘jump’ whenever I told him to. Please bear in mind, I have never asked him for a drink in bed before, or anything else unreasonable that I can think of. I told him I didn’t think of him that way at all.. I just told him that if it was the other way around I’d just do it because it was something nice to do for your partner. He disagreed and said I was being unreasonable and stupid for getting upset about it.

This eventually turned into an argument. He told me to ask ‘anyone’ about it and I would realise that I am in the wrong. So I thought… maybe reddit?

Is this issue arising just because we have different ways of expressing love and affection etc? Or is it a deeper issue? Am I being unreasonable - it’s something I’m willing to work on if so.

Why not Nederland, Srbija, Italia, Slovenská, and on and on. Why is Turkey special?

Throwaway.

My boys 19, 16, and 14 went camping on July 4th staying through the weekend. We live in the city but have some wooded family property just outside of town.

I have no problem with them going alone, they are city boys except for the 19yo who thinks he's a lumberjack or something, and is super responsible.

While walking in the neighborhood I ran into the mom of one of the friends who is one the trip, he's a good kid and spends a LOT of time at our house although hasn't gone camping with them before. I don't know the parents too well but the kid is a fixture at our place.

She was saying that Dex (her son) was probably having a great time, although out of his element camping. I told her I'm sure they're keeping busy... hiking, trying to fish (not much to catch), swimming in the creek there. She said "Swimming?" I assured her it was ok, my oldest Dean is super responsible and even a trained lifeguard. She said "No, I just didn't know to pack him a swimsuit." I just laughed and said "Well I'm sure they are skinny dipping." That's what usually happens up there if it's warm enough to swim (as it is now) and I thought nothing of it.

This lady was mortified. MORTIFIED. Acting unhinged. This was just about the most perverse thing she'd ever heard of, and MUST BE STOPPED. No amount of "Hey they're just goofing off in a remote creek" would pacify her. She demanded I call Dean and put an end to that "weird nonsense." I FINALLY talked her off the ledge and said all was ok and they'll be back tomorrow. But she just could not comprehend that her baby boy (he's 14) would actually be NUDE anywhere but in his own shower, I guess. Sigh. She even said she hadn't seen him undressed herself in years and it "just wasn't right."

So, am I the asshole for TOTALLY dismissing such nonsensical opinions/demands?

P.S. Oh, I DEFINITELY didn't mention that sometimes at the house the boys will go jump in the pool au naturale late at night. Dex has probably been there for that a dozen times or so. At this point I'm almost willing to bet my wife has seen his bare ass more than his own mom has.

I am not on Reddit, so forgive me if this doesn’t make sense here but I need opinions.

I found out (f42) that my husband (m44)was cheating on me with a girl (f25) he found on tinder. He made himself out to be a rich guy but actually he works for my father. When I found out I asked for divorce. I found out that the girl was pregnant. She told me that she didn’t know he was married bla bla. I believed her and I felt sorry for her because she doesn’t have any money. I have two children so I thought, her baby was my children’s sibling. I said that I would take care of them.

Then I stumbled across all the texts between them and actually she knew very early on that he was married and she even stalked me on social media. He told her from the start that he was married and only wanted fun. She wanted more and that’s how I found out. Now I feel immense hatred and resentment towards her and her baby and I don’t want to help her anymore. I liked her and she fooled me. But she only used me. I told her that I wasn’t going to be helping her and wished her good luck.

My husband will still have ok salary at his new work and from what I understood he is planning to have custody or at least shared custody of his child so the baby will not be suffering but just not rich. I asked her to not contact me again. She is raging about me taking back my promise and gathering lots of sympathy and I don’t know. I know the baby is innocently in this but I feel resentful and bitter like I have been used twice. I am very sorry but no

I don't mean names that simply just fell out of style or got replaced with other names from the same, I mean names people now go out of their way to avoid giving children.

The child support payments aren’t huge and we could survive fine without them. They are helpful with payments for the AP classes she’s taking though. I just can’t find anything online or in the guidelines about this specific situation.

My 16 year old told me she is pregnant. She was well educated on teen pregnancy and had all the tools to prevent it. They also were never allowed in her room at my house. But teenagers are teenagers and make not the most thought out choices.

I told her biological father (I am remarried since she was 3 and bio dad has essentially checked out since she’s been in high school) and he is threatening to take me to court to have child support removed. He put himself on child support years ago but “I’m stealing his money”. He’s claiming to have already contacted his lawyer. I am in no way going to force my child to have an abortion or give a baby up for adoption.

Sorry this is so scatterbrained. It’s been a whirlwind of a few days. She still lives at home and will probably through college. Can he take her off child support before she’s 18 because she is pregnant?

Edited*** I have plenty of answers. Thank you. I am turning off comments because it’s becoming more of an abortion topic now. I have spoken to my daughter at lengths. She does not want an abortion. I am not going to force her into a medical procedure that she does not want or feel comfortable with. She is very aware of the severity of her actions and the changes that will occur in her life. Her life will be very different and harder than what it would have been before. However my husband and I will be there to help her as much as possible to ensure that she has a life that she wants and one where she can provide for the both of them.

I’m currently 1/600 people in my class. Many people are suprised to find out for some reason

Edit: why am I getting downvoted lol

Edit: I have the highest GPA in my class. That’s simply why I am valedictorian. Just want to clarify because some people are asking if it’s due to equity reasons.

Burner acc because too much personal on the main.

I(f57) lost my husband of 25 years last year. We have a daughter(f24) who's married for 2 years. My son passed away after her marriage and it has been hell ever since. Our relationship with daughter was very good and without any incidents before her marriage. She was sweet and loving, and was a great daughter overall. She got married to the man of her choice(SIL: son in law). After that it has all been downhill. She stopped coming to our house, stopped responding to our texts and calls, going almost NC.

We weren't rich, although my husband had a lot of assests, they haven't been liquidated. When he died, he didn't leave a will, because it was so unexpected. After his death, my dear daughter didn't even attend his funeral, nor in any other functions. She didn't even call to ask how i was. Barely 6 months after my hubby's passing she and sil barged into our house and brought with them a lawyer, who told me to sign on some documents, and a blank sheet. I know the legal processes and am not ignorant, i asked her what was in that docs. Idk what i did, but here she was, demanding me to sign some unknown docs and a blank sheet and not answering any questions.

I asked the lawyer what it was about, he said it was for transferring all the assets in her and sil's name. I said no. Here it got violent, she attacked me and i had to scream for help. I didn't call the cops but told her to get out before i did. She was adamant about me signing and tried to take my thumb impression. At this point my neighbors had come over and had witnessed pretty much the last part of forcing. My neighbor, bless his heart physically kicked them out.

After this i was shaken and very hurt. I don't know what i did and i was honestly scared for my life. She kept sending me messages, tho not threatening cause maybe her lawyer told her so. She kept on sending sweet messages, thanking me for making her the beneficiary, transferring all assets to her etc. I was disgusted.

A week of harrasment later, i decided i had enough, i wanted out. So i met my lawyer, he said since there was no will, i was the sole owner of all assets and could do as i wish. Long story short, i sold everything, made 8 figures, bought a new house in a place I'd always wanted to be, far from everyone. Now i plan to enjoy the rest of my life travelling, and generally doing things i haven't been able to do, but which I've always wanted to do.

I recently heard through the gossip vine that my daughter tried to start litigation against me shortly after i sold and left but it fell through, as everything was in my name now. She now wants to meet me and is pressuring her lackeys to contact me and make me meet her. I said no. I don't understand why she did that, because it was all going to be hers anyway. They don't know where i am presently, and I'd prefer to keep it that way. I'm NC with her and sil, and don't have social media except reddit.

AITA?

Edit: Amount is not in dollars, if converted it would come around lower 7 figures

Edit 2: No I'm not from USA

Edit 3: English is not my first language

Hi. First of all. For those who have been asking for an update and were excited to know how the toy plan went. I know this is disappointing but I couldn’t go through with it. I couldn't let him touch me after everything he said and using it in front of him also would've been a treat for him (I was just mad). Besides I didn't want to risk getting pregnant because I know my luck. Who would want to go through morning sickness and labor for "2 minutes" . Anyway I left the toy on my nightstand and he saw it the next morning and asked me about it. I told him that since we decided to be open about our sexual needs and he advised me not to take them personally. I thought he wouldn't mind me trying to get the job done after all these years. He said that was immature of me and that I was just trying to hurt his feelings. I told him that's exactly what he did and left for work because why bother now.

Now for the update. I started the process of divorce a few days after the last update. He will be served in a week or two. I left him 3 days ago and took my belongings while he was at work and called to let him know.

He's been calling and texting non stop since. His younger sister called the same day. His older brother called twice last night and texted me asking what happened saying that my ex-husband is going crazy trying to reach me and that I should at least answer his calls and communicate like adults. I called my ex-husband to let him know that if he sends me another member of his family to try and get me to talk to him. I will just send them a pic of my chest alongside a pic of one of those OF models he showed me and let them know that I can't talk to him until I go from this to this. Until then, I don't want to hear from or about him and that 'until then' will probably take forever. He got the message and apologized. Said he will give me some time to cool down.

That's all. I found myself a really nice place to stay in temporarily until the divorce is finalized. I know I seem like I'm not taking this seriously but it's the only way for me to not break down. I do feel sad. Not sad that I'm getting divorced but sad that I'm losing someone I thought would never make me go through something like this and leave me no choice but to leave him. I'm still in love with the man I met 6 years ago. Not this man he turned into. But not gonna lie. I love myself more now. I have to choose myself and take care of me no matter what people around me think. My sisters know that I'm getting divorced. My mother will probably know through them.

Thank you to everyone who commented on my previous posts. Your support and advice have meant a lot to me. For those who see themselves in my ex and believe that he could treat me like that and I should just stay with him for the sake of saving my marriage. Please spare your time and see a therapist instead.

Edit: Some of you told me to go through his phone/laptop to see if he's cheating. I couldn't. Not knowing the answer to something that will probably fuck with my self esteem is better. I just want to get out of this with as little damage to my mental health as possible +I want to mention again that I'm not a native english speaker so please don't mind the grammatical errors.

My boyfriend (24M) and I (24F) have been together for just over 6 years now, since we were 18. We have made some pretty big moves towards our future recently, such as putting a deposit down on a house and being promoted in our careers. We have been together for 6 years and practically act like a married couple (without the titles), we share finances and go on family holidays together, and both our families love one another. I have started to get a little sick of my boyfriend tip-toeing around the concept of proposing and getting married. Bit of a background to this - while i was away at university, we spoke about a proposal and he said it would be when i finished university.. this was 2 years ago and since then he has promised me for 2 years that he would propose. Now it's getting to the point where I am saying to him i don't care how it's done i would just want to be engaged to be married in a year or so. He constantly says how much he wants to marry me and create a future where we are our own little family, but every time i ask him what's stopping him he just says he doesn't know? i thought the whole nervousness around proposing is not knowing how your spouse would react but at this point i am practically begging for a proposal.

Because of this i have given him an ultimatum of either he proposes by the end of the year or i want to break up. AITAH?

**I would like to say thanks to the couple hundred comments giving me advice and being nice. But I'm gonna log off now for my own well being, because I've received many comments calling me a bad wife, saying i am punishing him, and telling me to just get over it or let him cheat or divorce him for his own wellbeing. I know enough to know that's not helpful and I am very sorry **

I would like to first start with a bit on context. Also a warning I think, maybe a trigger for sexual assault.

So I (f24) had something happen to me at the beginning of this year that literally change my life, and not in a good way. Actually in the worst possible way imaginable.

I work at a smaller business (office of about 20). I am often the last person to leave. My boss leaves me the keys to lock up.

So it wasn’t unusual for me to be alone in the parking lot but this day I was attacked. I was sexually assaulted in my own car in the parking lot and injured.

It’s been about six months since that. I am definitely doing better, especially physically, and I think I am getting better through therapy and counseling, per my doctor.

My marriage however has been suffering. I will admit it was me pulling away a lot, which is why my husband asked me to add marriage counseling into the routine. I agreed of course because I still love and want to be with my husband, I was just trying to fix everything.

At marriage counseling he brought up the lack of sex. Me and the counselor (who is a man) just stared at him. I thought he was gonna be on my side. He wasn’t.

I was told that I needed to work on healing, but remember my marriage too. I am completely distraught by this.

I don’t really understand why I am expected to be fine about sex again. I mean I certainly try but it’s hard, especially at night. I wake up with nightmares still. I have anxiety 24/7 when I never have before. And I’m supposed to still be doing my “wifely” duties? I just don’t get it.

Me (m33) and my wife (f31) have 2 sons ages 8 and 7.

She’s completely obsessed with moulding them into people she wants them to be, in turn sacrificing their childhood. She thinks they’re going to be some sports superstars.

She’s a stay at home mum and her life revolves around their routine, every school day she wakes them up at 5am and they run to the park, they run several laps and do exercises and drills.

After school they’re booked into a sports activity 4 days straights. Then after that they have a tutor come every single day. The only day they get to themselves is Sundays. I do agree they’re excelling at everything but at what cost

On school breaks they’re booked into a sports camp which cost thousands.

They look like happy boys but idk what kind of trauma this will cause down the line. I told her to find another hobby apart from the boys but she gets offended. I told her they’re going to hate her when’s she’s older and she called me a AH.

is this normal or AITA?

There is this guy (21M) in my (19F) art class who happens to be wheelchair bound. I sometimes help him purely out of kindness, it's usually something small like holding the door for him, and a few times I got up to pick up something he dropped from the floor.

Anyways, the other day when the class was over and I was gathering my things, I saw him heading towards the door. I quickly went over and held the door for him.

He then asked if I have a minute. I said of course. Then out of blue he asked me if I liked him. I was caught off guard and didn't know what to say. There was an awkward silence for a minute. Then he said “that’s what I thought so, you just feel sorry for me” I was confused but i said I’m sorry if I offended you and I was just trying to help.

Then he told me he doesn’t need my help. He can open the door myself, he can pick up his own stuff. He doesn’t need me constantly watching over him and certainly doesn’t need my pity.

I was so confused by that sudden reaction. And I felt like he was kinda taking out his anger on me. I told him if he was uncomfortable he should have said so.

He said “I did , like million times, I tell you thank you but you don’t need to every single time you do this shit” Which yes, he does. But honestly , I thought he was saying this out of politeness. Then I told him fine I won't help you again and left.

I was complaining to my friend about this interaction we had. She said I’m in the wrong here. I said something like “For what, holding the door open? Like we always do this for each other?”

She said it’s one thing to hold the door for next person coming over and one thing to get up to hold the door for someone specially. She told me she’s sorry but she can see why he got mad, apparently jumping to help makes me seem like a performative asshole.

I thought he was crazy for getting upset over this but since my friend seem to agree, AITA here?

So I recently found out that my my soon to be ex-wife was cheating on me with her trauma therapist. She asked for a divorce, seemingly out of the blue. Less than a month later, I caught them out on a date together. This guy was billing our insurance for visits less than three months ago. I have proof that they're essentially living together including geotagged photos of this predator playing with our young son at her house. I've already filed a complaint with the state licensing board, which is currently under investigation. The divorce, when it's all said and done with will cost me over 150k in lost assets, and other concessions I had to make to satisfy the requirements in our 50/50 state. I'm primarily concerned with him losing his license, so he can't do it to someone else, but am curious if there might be some sort of a malpractice case? Would it make a difference if I waited until the board decided to take disciplinary action, assuming they did?

I just want to include, she went to this guy to deal with trauma related to childhood SA...and now he's sleeping with her. I don't have definitive proof of that, but I do have proof that he's staying the night at her place, which makes it more likely than not...at least in my eyes. Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated.

We have two children, a daughter who is 7 and a son who is 4, my daughter LOVES her little brother and is quite protective of him, which I have always liked, at least until now.

We recently had a family gathering at my parents' house, I don't get along with my sisters because they have raised their children in the way that they believe they can annoy others and get away with it because they won't get punished. That's why, especially my 6-year-old nephew, who likes to bother my son, whenever he does it we immediately leave the meetings.

We attended this last meeting because my father was already retiring from his job and wanted to celebrate the beginning of his retirement with a family reunion. My husband is the one who usually takes care of my son because when my husband is with him my nephew doesn't dare approach him, but that time my husband had a work meeting and couldn't go, my daughter anyway insisted that she would take care of her brother so we ended up going.

Now, my parents have two medium-sized swimming pools, one for children and one for adults, it turns out that my nephew threw my son into the adult pool, as soon as I realized I took him out and cleaned him, my son was crying and I was watching red, but at least my son was fine.

When I was about to go to complain to my sister we heard a scream, we all turned to look and it was my daughter sinking my nephew's face in the water of the children's pool and putting all her weight on top of him so that he couldn't get up, Almost all of us had to intervene to be able to separate them. I couldn't believe that a 7-year-old girl could have so much strength, but not even my two sisters and I could make her let go my nephew.

When we managed to separate them, my nephew began to vomit water, throw it out of his nose and cry, my daughter also cried while hugging her brother and I hugging both of them, when everything calmed down between them, the screams began between my sister and me, my Sister wanted to hit my daughter and I got in the way, luckily nothing happened,

In the end we separated and each of us returned home. It is worth clarifying that I did not punish my daughter for what she did, and I do not plan to do so, she was only defending her brother, but the problem is that my sisters both want my daughter apologize to my nephew, and that I should punish her in front of them to let them know that that kind of violence is not okay. Which I refused to do, my parents also think that my daughter went a little too far, the only person who is on my side now is my husband saying that he would have done the same if he had been in my daughter's place, so I am the asshole for refusing to punish her and not wanting her to apologize?

I noticed that many fast food restaurants now have the option to tip shown on the card reader screen with many choices (10%, 15%, etc). These are fast food restaurants where you stand in line to order your food, then you take your tray to a table. It didn't use to be the case before. Is it ok to just not tip, or am I an asshole for not tipping?