My niece (26F) has her wedding in a month, and she wants me to give her away at her wedding. Her father passed away when she was really young, and I felt a moral obligation to help my sister and her daughter, because my sister too helped me a lot growing up.
I knew I had an obligation to my wife and children primarily, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t help out my sister and her daughter too. Since they lived just 10 minutes from us, I tried to be as physically active as possible in my niece’s life when she growing up. My wife and I have had a few arguments on it over the years. I have also been sending money to my sister every month for the past decade or so. It is from my individual account, not the joint account my wife and I share, so I have full liberty to spend it however I want. But my wife does know about it, and we have had arguments on this too.
Now coming to the point, my niece wants me to give her away at her wedding next month. But my wife thinks it’s very weird and she doesn’t want me to do it. I told my wife there’s nothing weird about it, and her opinion on this is irrelevant. We have had lot of discussions on this over the past week, and I am made to feel like a bad guy by my wife.
Am I the bad guy? Am I the AH if I were to give my niece at her wedding?
Hello everyone. I’m 32m and my wife is 33F. She is currently 4 months pregnant with our first child.
So for the past 8 years or so I’ve slowly distanced myself as much as possible. My mom is weirdly obsessed with hating my wife, like she wishes she was married to me or something. My dad is just the type of guy to take my moms side on everything, wether she’s right or not. He’s also just straight up an asshole. The type of guy that yells at retail workers for shit that isn’t their fault lol
Anyways, because of that mix they have hated my wife since we met at 24 and 25. Pretty much as soon as we met, I started to distance myself and my girl because I didn’t like the way they treated her, but now I have cut off all contact completely
About a month ago, we announced our baby and my parents have been incredibly pushy about a lot. First of all, my wife’s mom passed away, so if it’s a girl we are naming her her moms first name, if it’s a boy we’re going to use her moms middle name since it’s gender neutral. This was always something that was important to her, she was extremely close with her mom and has always wanted to honour her like this.. I think it’s beautiful. And the middle name regardless of gender is the name of where we first met, I’m not going into specifics on here obviously but trust me it’s a cute name..
My parents? Had to make a big deal that they don’t get a say. My dad even said the words “it’s our sons baby she’s just carrying it” That pissed me off, because it’s her baby she’s carrying to. I told them to give it a rest, my mom spent the entire night trying to guilt us into adding her name or my dads.
So now a few days both my parents come over to tell us they both will be in the room, I told them absolutely not because my wife already told me she only wants me there. My mom gets all upset that she needs to see her first grandchild be born, my dads pissed saying my wife is “selfish” and thinks she’s the first women to give birth. I told them it’s her body, and when it’s one of them pushing out a child they get to decide who’s there in the room.
By the time the conversation ended I was so pissed I told them to leave and not come back until they want to respect my wife, I kicked them out and for right now they are not able to contact us, as I blocked them from everything. Before blocking them I sent a message telling them to not contact her, not step foot on my property and stay away from the hospital when the time comes.
Now, if they decide to change and be respectful we would both (cautiously) welcome them back into our life But for right now all I know is my wife’s biggest dream in life was to be pregnant, and be a stay at home mom one day. There’s literally tons of pictures of her as a child playing pregnant 🥲 and I really want this time to be something she can cherish. They were stressing her out, and she was already struggling with the fact her mom isn’t here. The last thing she needs is my mom attacking her. We’re also planning the gender reveal for 7 months (my wife wanted a bigger bump in the videos/photos so we’re waiting) and I was scared they would ruin it for her, so this gave me a lot of relief there as well.
My older brother sent me a message saying what I did was way too far, and it wasn’t that big of a deal. I stand by what I did, honestly I probably should have done it sooner, but it’s not easy. so what do you guys think?