My fiancé (29M) and I (28F) are due to be married in less than a month. We are culturally Jewish from a liberal province/country. Neither my family or his are particularly conservative or religious, which is why his demand was surprising. Less than a week ago my fiancé told me he wants me to start covering my hair after we get married. He said it is required under Jewish law (again, neither of us come from religious or particularly traditional families). He said I have to start wearing something called a mitpahat, and I would have to wear it all the time.
The only time I could have it off is in front of my fiancé, my dad, either of my grandfathers or any sons or grandsons we eventually have. Otherwise I have to wear it in public or in front of men over age 13 excluding the above. I don't have to wear it in front of women as long as I'm not in public. He's never mentioned this "requirement" before. He said he didn't have to because Jewish law only requires it for married women. He told me some women wear wigs to try to get around it but that's not actually allowed. We have been together for two years and lived together for one year.
He's never said anything about this before now. None of the women in his family cover their hair or wear wigs but his mom agrees with him (I checked, she does even though she doesn't cover her own hair). I pointed out that we don't follow other Jewish laws but my fiancé said it's non-negotiable and if I love him I'll do it. No matter I say he doesn't listen and I have said the wedding is at least postponed unless we figure this out. I am not going to compromise on this. I won't marry him if he continues to say it is required. I will never cover my hair. I'm not unsure of my descision or anything, I'm just getting my feelings out here because I am so hurt and angry. It was embarrassing when we told people why the wedding is postponed so close to the date.
Thank you for the reddit care messages, but I am doing okay