I saw the post yesterday about the guy who was having an incredibly rough go at the moment and opened up to his GF about what was happening. He ended up crying, and subsequently was dumped in a cruel manner for doing so.

The reason I’m making this post is to try and show other men that being vulnerable isn’t a sign of weakness. It is okay to open up to your significant other, and if you can’t frankly it’s a sign that it isn’t the right person for you.

About 5 years ago I had been dating my girlfriend for roughly 6 months. We went to dinner and a movie and saw the movie “White Boy Rick”. Basic premise is he’s a young kid who ends up getting arrested and sent to prison for trafficking narcotics. There is a scene when the family members are driving down a long country road to reach the prison. This seemingly innocuous scene is what broke me. I really never gave the word “trigger” any credit or merit until I watched this scene.

When we got home, she knew something was up and asked if I was okay.

When I was very young my father was incarcerated for most of my life for trafficking cocaine. All in all, he served roughly 20 years. It’s something I kind of brushed off, tried to “be strong” and tried to live my life through the reality I knew. Single mother, roof over my head. To me, this was normal.

Most prisons are built away from the dense populace of society in rural areas in the country side. When I went to visit my dad, I made that exact same drive as the characters in the film. I was completely blindsided by emotion. I held it together until we got home.

So now back home with my Gf, she asked me what was wrong. I decided I couldn’t keep up the facade and explained what I was feeling. I couldn’t stop the tears, I wept like a baby. She grabbed me, held me in her chest, and the flood gates opened. It had been over 10 years since I cried, so I just couldn’t contain it. She told me she loved me, and it was okay to let it out.

That was the moment I knew for sure that I loved her and she was the one for me.

It’s now ~ 6 years later and we are happily married.

So men, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. If a woman makes you feel lesser than for being vulnerable, she isn’t the one for you.

My birthday was yesterday and my husband invited his best friend Matt and his best friends pregnant girlfriend Jane out for a BBQ. They live 2 houses down from us. It was only us, our 3 children and them here (and their 3 kids). I spent about $90 on hamburger and hotdogs. Matt also showed up with 2lbs of hamburger. While the guys cooked, I went swimming with all the kids in our pond. Jane sat near the guys on her phone.

Around 5:30ish the guys called the kids up for food. Me and my middle child (9) weren't hungry yet so we kept swimming. We spent a good 40+ extra minutes in the pond on our tubes. I wasn't paying any attention to anything that was going on near the grill. Around 6:15ish is when my husband said that he was going to make a store run for beer, so I tell my son that we should probably go eat now. My husband and Matt are gone by the time we get up to the grill, so is Jane. Well, we get up to the grill and all the food is gone. Literally everything. I call my husband and ask him where all the food is and he said that it should be on the grill. I tell him that everything is gone. There was a long pause before he goes "Jane asked if she could take some for leftovers but I didn't think she would take all of it". He then tells me there was at least 8 burgers and 10 hotdogs left, as well as macaroni salad when he left for the store 10 minutes prior. I tell him to call Matt and see where tf all the food is. He does. He then calls me back and says that Matt claims Jane only took "a few" and that they had already been eaten. But my oldest son (13) straight up tells me he saw Jane walk off our property carrying the entire dish (one of those extra large tin foil BBQ dishes).

Anyways, I'm pissed at this point. Me and my son hadn't eaten anything. My husband is also pissed but he just grabbed me and my son something from the store instead of making a huge fuss. I don't really blame him (him and Matt work together so it is what it is). But anyways, much to my surprise, Jane and her kids come back over 45 minutes later and ask if they can have some of my cake. I tell Jane that her kids can but she can't. She asks why and I said "I'm pretty sure you've eaten plenty considering you took off with my entire BBQ dinner before me and my son could eat anything". She tried arguing that my husband told her she could have it, that "half of it was hers" (cause they brought 2lbs of hamburger meat) and that she "didn't realize" me and my kid hadn't eaten (she was beside the grill the entire time). I just shrugged my shoulders and walk away. She tells her kids to "let's go" and they leave without cake. Now I'm feeling like I may be the asshole. No one has said anything but I know there's tension.

My late wife passed 3 years ago, our two kids were in their late 20s at the time. It's been a hard few years and it is even harder now that I live alone.

She had a lovely dark chocolate cherry cake. It was my favorite thing that she would make and I always requested it for Father's Day. I am a shit baker and I have tried to remake it from her notes. The notes are not very clear and it never turns out correct. It is depressing spending so much time and it being wrong.

I have asked my two kids to try and make it but they have refused to. I was told that they will not figure out the recipie and to stop asking. I went to a local bakery and asked for them to figure it out.

They agree as long as I gave them the permission to sell the cake in the store. It didn't take them long to figure it out and it is almost exactly the same to my wife's.

I bought one for Father's Day and my kids were happy about the cake until I told them the bakery did it. They are pissed I would sell their mothers recipie to a bakery.

This whole week they have been telling me how I am a jerk for this and I am wondering if I really am a jerk. I just wanted to eat her cake again

Growing up, my dad stayed at home while my mom worked. While my mom financially provided for my sister and myself, she was emotionally hands off. She came to a ballet recital here and there but didn’t want to help with homework, didn’t want to listen when we needed advice, etc. Our dad did 95% of the emotional labor. I later found out from my mom that my dad was the one who wanted kids. She loved her career and didn’t mind providing financially but she did not want to do any of the stuff related to raising us outside of that. I am very grateful she provided for us financially, but I do admit it hurts that she wasn’t there when we needed her. She was physically present but not emotionally present.

EDIT: as this has come up, to be clear, the arrangement was my mother’s idea, not my father’s. That being said, I do agree that my father was equally as selfish for making this arrangement.

My dad always did grand gestures for her. Mother’s Day was always a big deal with a huge brunch, flowers, gifts. She was spoiled. She did nothing for him on Father’s Day. He had to do everything for himself until my sister and I were old enough to do stuff for him. I get that was the arrangement they had but I know it made my dad sad. I once asked why he didn’t get the same hoopla our mom got and he just sadly said “father’s day isn’t as important as Mother’s Day.”

As adults, my sister and I have tried to rectify it. We do Father’s Day up big and our dad loves it. We grill for him just how he taught us and throw a huge BBQ with some other family members. However, we’ve turned Mother’s Day very lowkey. We still celebrate our mom but she usually gets a quiet lunch at a restaurant of her choice and a few gifts. After my mom ended up skipping my sister’s baby shower this year because “she didn’t see the big deal with someone having a baby”, my sister wanted to do nothing for her. We sent gifts but spent Mother’s Day with each other, our husbands and our own kids.

My mom told us after Father’s Day that she was hurt we didn’t do more for her in recent years. I said that since she put in almost no emotional labor into raising us, we are putting none into her. She said that our father and I had an agreement. I pointed out that yes, but we never agreed to it and it want fair that we grew up with an emotionally absent mother who didn’t want us. And to be fair, we have had this conversation with our dad as well and he admits it wasn’t fair to us either. I also said if she didn’t want kids, then why should she be celebrated as a mom?

My mom is upset with both of us and called us ungrateful brats. My dad feels bad for her but supports our choice. AITA?

EDIT: To those asking how I’d feel if my dad were the one that acted like this/how I feel about dads who do this in general: they suck just as much and it’s not fair to the kids, regardless of whatever agreement spouses come to. This is not gender specific. While some people may have a gender bias, I do not.

Hey. This happened a few days ago but It's been a busy week for me and I was a bit hesitant to update.

I went to see my parents with my brother. My dad texted me before to to let me know that my sister was coming too. I didn't want to cause any problems between her and my parents by telling them about what she and her best friend did. But when she started the conversation with lies. I told them everything and made it clear that I'm not asking them to take sides and that I will still come to family gatherings but I won't engage with her in any way.

My dad couldn't let the fact that she grabbed me by the back of my neck slide. But my mother tried to make it seem like it was out of desperation, to make me accept her apology. What my sister said next did it for my mom. She asked them how is anyone still supposed to remember what exactly triggers me after all these years and that I already gotten over it since I didn't react. And what if I've been faking it all these years. I know I shouldn't have said this and I really regret it now but I told her I wish she go through exactly what I went through. Maybe then she could give me a better example of how I should've handled it all. She told me to get over it and stop begging magazines to post about what happened at the wedding and left. My dad told me later that her best friend's younger sister read about it in 'People' magazine. it was posted on their Instagram. And (get over it?) she's the only one who still brings up what happened.

My mother now understands why I decided to go no contact. My dad and brother are 100% supportive of my decision. But I can't stop thinking about what she said. She tried to trigger a reaction out of me and now thinks I've been faking it because I didn't give her one. It's been 11 years. Years of therapy and meds, of course I've gotten better. Not 100% tho since I felt irritated. And if it wasn't for already being labeled 'crazy' I would've shoved her away.

I feel like I should've cut contact with her the moment she asked my parents why I didn't stay at the party and wait for my brother to come and pick me up. The reason I left the party was because some of the guys who were invited were much older than I was and they were getting drunk and loud. Two of them followed me. First thing my sister told my parents was and still believe that I left with them because I was naive and just scared/ashamed to admit it. Even after both of them confessed everything. But I was young I guess and cutting contact with her wasn't something I could do.

I also want to mention how supportive my partner has been through all of this. From the day I told him everything. He has been incredibly understanding. Even though I never asked him to and he never told me but I know he still goes through each movie/series before we watch it together to make sure there aren't any scenes that could make me uncomfortable. When I put something on. he finds a way to distract me for a few minutes to check it before we watch. He has never made me feel like a screw up. He makes me feel like I still deserve to be loved.

Thank you to each of you for your kind comments and reaching out in private❤️

Edit: There's something else that happened in the last few days but I can't mention it. Since they found out I posted on the internet from 'People' magazine's Instagram. I assume they searched for the original post here on Reddit. I don't think I'm doing anything wrong though. I didn't mention any personal information in my original post or updates.

I'm a woman in my late 50s, married to my husband, early 60s. We've been married for 30 odd years.

I have fulfilled the role of a 'traditional' wife for much of our marriage, and I left paid work soon into our marriage. My husband is very successful in his business and we live comfortably. All our children are adults now.

My husband built his business from the ground up, and I was instrumental to the early success which set it up to be what it is today. We were having lunch with our children when my son mentioned that his wife didn't want to be 'trad wife' and do what I did to raise the kids. She raised concerns about how vulnerable a position it is and that she doesn't want to solely depend on him for money. He wanted me to talk to her and convince her by telling her how it worked out for me.

I said I understood where she was coming from, and being a housewife is incredibly risky and vulnerable, especially if he leaves her and she's been out of the labour force for a while. He countered that it had worked for his father and I because I trusted him as my husband to provide for me and why couldn't his wife do the same? I told him I have a meticulous record of all contributions I have ever made to the family business - recently digitised with the help of my daughter - so that if we worst ever happened, I wouldn't be relying on the mercy of a man to feed myself. I told him I have made many contingency plans over the years to minimise the risk of being a housewife and compensate for my lack of pension and benefits I'd have had had I not left the labour force.

My son and husband were angered my this. Both said it showed a lack of trust, and my husband especially feels I've had 'one foot out the door' our entire marriage and that my 'little escape plan' included plans to 'shaft him of his business'. I told him the fact that he refers to it as 'his' business rather than 'ours' is exactly why I kept those records and why I won't be telling my daughter in law to do what she doesn't want to do.

AITA?

note - it's late here so I'm going to respond in the morning. thank you.

Yesterday was a normal day, and as usual, my 14-year-old son was having his post-school screen time. He's a good kid, so I don't hover too much. I went to check on him and noticed he quickly minimized whatever he was watching. He said it was "just a gaming stream," and I let it slide, but something felt off.

A bit later, I went back to offer him a drink and caught a glimpse of his screen before he could close it. He was watching one of those hot tub streams - Kick streamer Amouranth.. For those who don't know, it's basically streamers in swimwear, sitting in hot tubs, chatting with viewers. It's not explicit, but definitely more on the suggestive side.

I tried to handle it calmly and asked him why he was watching it. He got embarrassed and mumbled about it being popular. I explained that while these streams aren't outright bad, they're not exactly suitable for his age. I told him he needs to be careful about what he watches online.

He seemed pretty embarrassed, and I left him to think it over. Now I'm second-guessing myself. Should I have been stricter? Should I trust him to make better choices? I'm also thinking about whether I need to set more restrictions on his internet use.

TL;DR: Walked in on my son watching a hot tub stream, had an awkward talk about appropriate content, and now I'm unsure if I handled it right or if I need to be stricter with his internet access

I, Hannah, [40f] met my husband, Ben, [38m] in 2015 through mutual shared interests. We began dating and at the end of 2016 Ben proposed to me and I said, "yes." We had a wedding at the end of 2019 before COVID. I was the happiest I had ever been. I had married my best friend, and I believed that our marriage and relationship were perfect. We had our ups and downs, the same as any relationship, but never had any significant fight or issues that would have tainted the relationship. After the COVID lockdown ended and we were able to return to work as normal and be more social, I started noticing changes in Ben. He would set up his work schedule so that he was away from home more. He wouldn't accompany me to things like movies or family outings. He would get short and snappy with me. He just began to feel cold and distant. In my heart, I felt like he had already left me. In March of 2022, I had to travel out of state for a weekend. While I was gone, Ben would not answer my phone calls, texts, etc. He also disconnected and deactivated the security systems at our home. All red flags. After crying and battling myself internally over what I should do, I decided to return home from the trip a day early without telling Ben. I got home at 3:00 a.m. on Sunday (Ben wasn't expecting me home until Monday). When I came into the house Ben was asleep alone and his phone was beside of him. I picked it up and walked out of the house to go through the phone - the first time I had done this in our relationship. The things I found made me sick. He had been sending pictures through snapchat to various women. He had been googling addresses and directions to different women's houses. I checked the GPS in his car and the addresses had been entered there. Ben suffered from ED, so he kept Viagra in the house. I knew he had just refilled the prescription before I went out of town, so I grabbed the bottle and found that several pills were missing since I left on Friday. His screen time showed hours and hours logged in the messenger and phone but he had deleted all phone call records and text messages so that I could not see who he had been communicating with. Then I found the vault. An app where you can store photos and videos with password protection. I sent myself pictures of all of the various evidences I had found on his phone. I woke Ben up and told him that we needed to talk. When he saw that I was holding his phone he became as white as a ghost and tried to attack to me to retrieve it. I handed it to him and told him I had already seen all that I needed to see. I asked him what the password was to the vault on his phone as we had an open device/password policy in our relationship. He absolutely refused to give it to me. He told me he would rather end the relationship than give me the password. That told me everything I needed to know. I took steps the following few days to initiate divorce proceedings. I was so devastated that my rock, my best friend, my partner in life had treated me like this and so easily tossed our 7 year relationship away. I went into a state of depression. I could not eat and lost close to 30 pounds, could not sleep, missed several days of work, had to go to counseling, and take medications to try to feel normal. After about 2 months of this, my best friend, Mallory, [40f] begged me to get on a dating app to meet some people. I was hesitant because I had never been on a dating app, but thought what the hell...maybe it will help me get over Ben. I joined Tinder and matched with Jake [33m]. Jake and I had a lot of fun chatting with one another and eventually decided to meet in person. I was open and honest about my situation with Jake and let him know about my divorce and ex-husband. Jake thought Ben was an idiot for ending our marriage and losing a woman like me. Jake and I increasingly began spending time together and were inseparable after a few weeks. A few months later in the summer of 2022, Jake asked me if we could be exclusive. In December of 2022, Jake surprised me and asked me to marry him. I was a whirlwind of emotions, but I said yes. Of course, this news made it to social media and that's when I began hearing from Ben again. Ben contacted me to let me know that it was embarrassing to him that I have moved on so quickly and that was publicly engaged. He was also upset in my choice of partner as he made sure to let me know that he did not approve of Jake for me. I don't even know why he cared, because he cheated on me and ended our marriage. Jake and I got married in 2023 at a tropical destination wedding. It was beautiful and Jake went above and beyond to make it special for me. Ben reached out to me again to let me know that I looked like the cheater in our relationship, because I moved on so quickly and got remarried. So, AITAH for moving on and remarrying quickly after my ex-husband cheated on me and divorced me?

My husband's brother and his wife are expecting a baby together. This is their first. My husband and I have four kids so we've been there, done that and we're both happy with our kids names. For the sake of the post BILs wife is going to be Emma.

So Emma came to me a few weeks ago and asked me how my husband and I figured out names for our kids because she and BIL haven't listed the name name yet for their baby. She said they've made a few lists already but there's never one name overlapping. She said given we seemed to find our names easily and we're still happy, she felt I was a good person to ask.

I decided to help her without going into "name your baby this" or "use this to get a baby name" and instead I told her some steps my husband and I took. 1) Write a list of top names, top 10, 20, 50 whatever and choose the names off each other's list that are absolutely no, never going to happen and accept that and don't hold a grudge over it 2) Discuss what your priority is in a name. For us it was a name that fit among peers (not too old, not too weird) but where they would still be the only [name] in the class. 3) Try to have fun with it both individually and together 4) Take breaks if you feel yourself getting stressed or frustrated.

Emma took it all in and even made some notes on her phone while we talked. She thanked me for the words of wisdom. Then she went to BIL and all seemed fine. Until he found out I had given advice. He told me I had no business interfering and told my husband I should mind my business. My husband stood up for me and said Emma had asked and I didn't interfere, I didn't try to talk them into a name, I just gave some tips on how they could work together better.

Emma apologized to me for BIL getting so angry. BIL said I should at least apologize before we put this to bed. He said I did overstep with my advice. My husband said BIL is being unreasonable.

AITA?

The non-stick properties of cast iron are completely regenerative. If someone puts your favorite skillet through the dishwasher, just throw some butter in it and fry some eggs and move on with your life. Your grandmother didn’t have some arcane “seasoning” ritual for her pans and neither should you.

I am not OOP. OOP is and they posted on

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. See rule 7. This sub has a 7-day waiting period so the latest update is at least 7 days old.

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Trigger Warning: cyberbullying, abelism

June 12, 2024

I came home from work today and noticed my partner just sitting at the desk laughing to herself with her headphones on, so I assumed she was watching a movie or something and left it at that.

Not long after I poked my head round as I was going to ask her what she wanted for dinner and to my surprise she was on Reddit, which was odd to me because she is anti social media etc but I thought it was nice she was trying something as she suffers from agoraphobia and doesn’t get out much without me.

I briefly got a glimpse at her name and thought it would be interesting to see what she had posted (yes I know this was an invasion of privacy) and to my shock, the account was 8 years old.. this means it’s predated our relationship by a couple of years, what's even more shocking was the stuff she had said on there, so much hate towards random people, for seemingly no reason at all.

This was not just one comment here and there either, literally just an account dedicated to hating on people and she seemed proud of it in her comments, one recent example was she spent an entire day just hassling someone, it doesn’t even stop there because she will make up stories, fat shame people, bullying those with disability’s. (this one hurts as she knows I have autism) and claims everyone who tell her she needs therapy is “projecting.”

I would sometimes come back from work and she would be in a bad mood but wouldn’t tell me why, Upon looking at her comment history a lot of her bad moods seem to line up with days she got downvoted a lot, she even goes as far as to lie about her physical appearance just to bring down others, its sick.

How do I even approach this? This stuff is just downright hateful and I don’t want her to freak out at me.

What do I even do? I’m scared she is one argument away from someone coming to find her.

Relevant Comments:

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Chances are - she already knows via this post

:

And therefore a high chance that this is fake. Why post on the other person's playing ground?

:

He may be subconsciously trying to call her out. I mean, he's scared to do it in person, which reflects very badly on the "good" parts of their relationship.

Victims of all sorts of abuse are often accused of being passive-aggressive because often it's the only way they can safely stand up for themselves. Plausible deniability.

If she sees this and wants to call him out, she's got to admit to him face to face that she a troll. If she sees it and is too chicken-shit to admit it, she'll at least hopefully be a bit wary that it might be about her and realise she could be caught.

:

This is the person you are dating.

This is how she behaves when there are no consequences of her actions.

She is not a kind person.

:

What do you think about having a partner who secretly likes to be cruel to others and thinks it’s funny? Only you can answer that.

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Agreed, and the fact that her entire day/mood can be ruined just because she gets downvotes is concerning and extremely unhealthy

I mean if you need that level of validation for your self-esteem from internet strangers I think that some therapy appointments are desperately needed

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Catfish her and make her harass you. Then cry at the dinner table over the ableist Redditor who ruined your self-esteem. Hope to find this on BORA in a few weeks.

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Just say you didn't know she had reddit and that you were surprised at her online persona. Tell her you felt really disappointed at the things you read. Say the lack of compassion he had towards others was confusing because both you and her are... and yet she was making fun/ bullying people. Ask her to help you understand.

I dare say she will say you invaded her privacy and reddit is just a place where she can say whatever and be whatever she wants to be.

Then where to from there, no clue. All you can do is communicate and hopefully she will change how she is now that you know. Or she will make a new accounts- rinse and repeat.

:

JUST DUMP HER.

She's a 37 YEAR OLD MEAN GIRL A spiteful, BIGOTED schoolyard bully who never grew up.

Is that REALLY who you want to tie yourself to???

And frankly, I would NOT bother to confront her, nor unless you want an OSCAR-WORTHY performance with blubbering, snotty-nosed fake apologies.

Tell her it's OVER because you're just NOT feeling it anymore and need time to yourself for a while.

And, yes, she's FUCKING AROUND and she may very well FIND OUT. NOT your circus, NOT your monkeys.

She'll have to pull up her BIG GIRL PANTIES — and take the CONSEQUENCES.

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June 13, 2024 (the next day)

I had a lot of message requests asking if the post was about them, if you thought that then I think it's time to stop your crappy behaviour.

I want to address some comments from the last post:

I'm pretty sure she is blocked from this sub Reddit as all of her comments on this sub were removed according to a remove Reddit site and I also blocked her account while slightly adjusting the ages.

After sitting for a good hour last night looking down her profile in depth and bookmarking her worst stuff, I decided to bring it up with her, I was going to ask a mutual friend round, but I didn't want to embarrass her so i instead I put my phone on record in my pocket, in case she was going to claim I did anything against her.

I waited until after lunch and asked her if she could just stay there for a minute, set my phone to record and then brought up screenshots on a tablet, Her face dropped, she walked out of the room after a few seconds of scrolling. I was going to go after her, but I left it.

She came down and just said sorry, I asked why she was saying sorry to me to which she responded "I don't know", I asked why she did it and I just got another "I don't know".

I showed her one of the screenshots where she claims "my friends love how much of a cunt I am online" and I asked if any of her friends knew, and she said no, just me. I brought up the fact that I couldn't wrap my head around why someone would dedicate so much time to this, and she said "at first it was just a way to blow off steam, but then it felt nice because I saw people were agreeing with me, and it became apart of my daily routine I guess"

After some more talking, I addressed how much she hurt me with her attacks on people with mental health problems to which she just said "I doubt they even had any issues, they were just playing victim because they were losing the argument"

I have packed my things and going to stay at a friend's house, I am going to block Reddit on the ISP and asked her to not contact me for a couple of days while I think, I have also asked her to find a place to stay as I can't stay at my mate's for too long and I want to go on a break.

If I'm honest, I don't know if I will ever want to see her again, I was going to ask her to apologise to everyone she caused shit for but at this point I know she won't mean it.

Any further updates will be done via this post.

Relevant Comments:

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the fact that you felt the need to record this conversation on your phone makes me feel like this is not a healthy relationship regardless of the reddit trolling

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Judge people by how they treat those they can hurt with impunity. She's an online bully, cruel to people when she is anonymous and there are no consequences.

You're making the right decision.

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My mother always said "I don't know is not an acceptable answer. You do know, you're just too ashamed to answer"

She gets off on other people's pain

Some people are just born that way homie

(again):

MAKE THE SEPARATION PERMANENT.

She CLEARLY isn’t sorry and doesn’t deserve ONE MORE SECOND of your time.

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The recording thing is a sign that this relationship has been over for awhile. You’re either genuinely scared of her or trying to set her up. Just move on with your life.

Editor's Note: OOP says they will update. They've asked for a break from their SO, but have not officially broken up yet. Therefore, it is likely we'll hear back from OOP, so this is ongoing.

Reminder: I am not OOP. Do NOT comment on Original Posts. No Brigading! See rule 7.

So every morning I walk my dog at the off lead dog park. As it’s a small town all the dog walkers have become friendly. I ( mid 40s) made friends with June (75-80). June told me this lovely MC story from About 25 years or more ago.

June was working as a school teacher and was retraining as a social worker. She left teaching for two years working as a social worker when her previous school asked her and run a class for at risk children. The deal was she would teach children aged 12-18 ( grade 7-12) who come from backgrounds of emotional, physical and sexual abuse.

The job was causal , so she didn’t get paid for holidays, sick leave etc. she was supposed to teach six kids with an Aide but ending up with twenty kids and no teachers aide. As you can imagine their behavior was terrible. She believed she could help and she said she did make some real differences. The work was really stressful but she was passionate about it.

After three years and multiple promises of making her a permanent staff member, getting an aide plus smaller classes June was burnt out. She demanded help from the principal who refused and told her since she has complained, it’s for the last time and sacked her . He told her she is causal and she go complain to everyone and everywhere but as a casual worker you have little rights.

So June did complain to everyone, school Inspector, the union,department of education( it was a state school) and even her local Member of parliament who told her she has had a tough deal but this is the life of a casual worker. She finally complained to the state authority that deals with safe work practices.

They were interested as the school has breached state policy on class sizes for special needs kids,teacher aides, providing a safe environment etc. they ordered the department of education to pay her worker’s compensation while they sorted it out. So now June was paid each fortnight including leave and all benefits. 52 weeks a years instead of 40.

The fallout was big after the investigation ,lots of people sacked or moved on. What this did was leave June without a boss. The safe work practice department closes the case as they believe it was now a dept of education matter to pay June out. Everyone has forgotten about June and she got lost in government paperwork. They still paid her and she kept quiet. It took ten years before they found her in an employee audit. Then they paid her out.

June was ready to retire about then so it worked out beautifully.

I was in line at TSA, putting my bags on the conveyor belt when I feel someone shove me from the side. I stumble and turn my head to see a woman staring at me with a glare and she says, “I’m running late.”

Then she proceeds to try to shove my baskets and stuff down the belt when I’m not even done taking off my shoes or taking my laptop out of my bag yet.

I shake it off because I’m not in the mood to fight anyone at the airport, and walk to the metal detector line once I’m done hastily putting my stuff on the belt.

Then, as I’m waiting in line, I feel a hand on my back sweep me to the side, and I see the same woman, and she CUTS IN FRONT OF ME.

Now I’m angry, so after we get through the line, I march up to her and say, “Excuse me, but you can’t just put your hands on people like that just because you’re running late.”

She looks at me with a stunned face, as if she doesn’t know what she just did.

Where do some people get the nerve to pull shit like this?

Edit: For those of you asking why I didn’t do anything in the moment, I am a very petite young woman, and this woman was significantly bigger than me. I was in shock in the moment, and didn’t know what to do. Next time, I will definitely stand up for myself in the moment.

For context, I mentioned buying groceries at the dollar tree and she said that’s ‘gross’ so I said “well I don’t get food stamps sooo”

And honestly I love the Dollar Tree. I can go get cleaning supplies, granola bars, breakfast sandwiches, and little cereals for a fraction of the price. I’m not ashamed to shop there at all.

My friend brought up that their food is gross, but I’ve been grocery shopping with her. She’s got 3 kids. She’ll spend $200 on 4 cases of pop and junk food. I’ve could’ve been a whole lot nastier but bit my tongue.

I Was listening to some stories on rslash a few minutes ago,and I started to remember a old work story from about 10 years ago.

I was a supervisor for a call center in 2013. I had worked for this company for about 7 years before working my way up to supervisor. It was for, what I thought, was my dream job. Decent pay for the time, good hours, and what I thought would be a relaxed environment. My job mainly consisted of doing QA for the phone calls, doing take overs for irate customers, and making sure the schedule was done weekly.

I was supervising a team of about 15 people. Most of them were good, solid people. However, there was this one employee, let's call her Tee.

Tee was a , at the time, 25 year old female, with me , at the time, being a 30 year old male . I made it a point to keep my personal life distant from my team members. However, I could tell Tee was having issues. Issues to the point where she was coming in to work hungover every day. Puking in trash cans hungover.

I'll point out that if a person opted to leave early with no sick time, this was an occurrence. Me, feeling sorry for Tee, and tired of seeing her throw up, would ask her if she wanted to leave. If I asked an employee this, it wouldn't go against them if they left. She opted plenty of times. I didn't want her to get in trouble with HR.

Well, Tee started calling off. A lot. It got to the point where HR told me I had to write her up. I had no choice. So, I brought her up to my desk , with the door open and a witness supervisor with me. I told her she was getting a write up for her absences. She was mad but accepted it, signed the write up, and that was that ..... I thought.

Two days later I got an IM from my boss asking me to come to her office. I get in there, and my Manager and the head of HR was there. They tell me the VP of HR is on the phone as well. Apparently, Tee is fighting this write up saying I did it because she wouldn't sleep with me.

Wtf

I've never been in a room alone with this woman, let alone given her any indication I wanted to sleep with her. No She was a train wreck whom I had a soft heart for and tried to cut her a little slack.

I asked HR if they had any proof of this? Of course they didn't . I asked if I was in any sort of trouble. My manager hem and hawed, until the VP spoke up and said without any actual proof, no, I wasn't in trouble. But advised me to keep clear of her. I advised them no problem, except I was her supervisor so that might be a huge issue unless she's transferred to another team. HR told me they didn't have room for her anywhere else, and to just do my job.

Ok then...a little petty revenge then

No longer could Tee go home early if she was hung over. No quarter given. No help. Had she shown up to work and done her job, no problem. But, like I said, girl was a train wreck. She would burn herself.

On top of no help from me, I also had to do QA on her calls. Well, enough examples started to show up with her slurring her words, and one call when she didn't mute herself and the sound of her dry heaving could be heard over the phone. Hell, there was one where she fell asleep.

I had enough ammunition Now for a final write up. Now , I was smart enough to not attempt this alone. I reached out to my manager and HR to be present while I wrote her up. They had already seen my QA notes, and the tracked attendance , so they were on board. She was called into a conference room with all three of us. I informed her this would be her final write up due to all of these reasons.

She at first tried to scream I had harassed her and this was a witch hunt. No dice. HR told her before, and again, there was 0 evidence of this. She suddenly flipped out and started screaming and then threw a chair across the room.

HR termed her on the spot. Security guards were called to escort her out. It was a large to do.

I left the room and went back to work after she was escorted out.

It was a small victory but victory none the less.

The moral of the story: don't dump on those trying to help ya out.

My son,Angel is autistic and nonverbal. His also 7 years old.

This whole situation happened last week and my husband family are still saying we(specifically me) are the assholes, just asking for judgment.

My husband brother Carl and sil,Amber (the one in the title) hosted a small get together, while me and my husband Russel were outside the kids were inside. At one point i went inside to get more beer and that’s when I heard something break going to investigate I found out Angel had tripped and made a vase fall. Amber walked in at the same moment and before I could apologize or offer to pay for it like I would have, she started screaming at Angel calling all sorts of names.

He was already flustered from breaking the vase and the yelling made it worse. He started crying and having a panic attack, I went to comfort him and telling amber to shut up and I was going to pay for the damn vase. She got pissed and mumbled some ableist thing about angel(I’m sure you can guess) that’s when I got pissed and slapped her(it wasn’t hard she didn’t fall just had tears) I told her to never talk about my son that way.

She started screaming louder and that’s when everyone came to see what was going on, amber told Carl about what I did. I told them what she had said about angel but they didn’t care and called me names for slapping a “vulnerable woman” and told me to get out. I gladly went taking my other kids, my husband was on my side the whole time.

Carl said that until we apologized we aren’t welcome and my husband said he’d have to wait forever to get an apology.

We haven’t talked to them since but Russle parents and other family members(not Carl and amber) have messaged us saying we’re the assholes and should apologize to what we did to amber.

Aita?

I often hear how it's oh-so relaxing and such, but I absolutely hate it. I still accept it when offered along with the haircut due to the fancy conditioners they have or whatever, but I really don't enjoy it

The shitty little sink they wash your hair in is ALWAYS extremely uncomfortable. No matter how high or low it is, no matter how you wiggle you neck into the hole, it always ends up hurting towards the end.

I cannot fathom how can people enjoy it.

The preliminary hearing on the new RO went well. Emma and Natalie were there, and we discovered that Emma is currently living with her great-grandmother and has a guardian ad litem(court-appointed guardian on legal matters). My lawyer thinks this means whatever was found in Natalie's home situation warranted removing Emma, and potentially severe enough that the great-grandmother only has physical custody and the need to appoint a guardian ad litem.

During the hearing, we went through the whole song and dance, the past RO's, the whole deal. My lawyer turned to Emma's representative and said we were willing to submit to a DNA test and put this to bed. Natalie looked like she was having a conniption at that, and her own lawyer urged her to shush. Emma's representative accepted and we were cheek swabbed in the courthouse. A temporary order is now in place while a second hearing is scheduled in the upcoming weeks for the 'permanent'(two year) order.

The order covers immediate family on both sides, and as I've detailed in the past, Natalie is actually good with following court orders, oddly. We have about four weeks before we have the definitive test results back, but I'm not too worried either way.

PS, there was some people who thought the court couldn't 'use charity as a cudgel' was the father. Well, that's Jim. Haven't talked to Jim in 10 years, but Jim is gay, and hated Natalie. He just also happened to be a 'give the shirt off his back' kind of dude, and as long as I knew him volunteered at a food pantry. His protests came mostly from naivety not self interest.

I'm 30f, and I'm currently two months pregnant with my first child and engaged to my fiancé of three years James (31), for little background when I was [15] my parents had my baby brother ; and five years after while I was (20) and Matt was (5), my parents and Matt were driving home when they got into an accident resulting in my parents' death.

After the accident I was completely destroyed and devastated, but I had to pull myself together to be there for my brother and the following month I buried my parents and with the help of my aunt and uncle I applied for guardianship of my brother it took about seven months before I was approved.

I had to get a stable job/income which I did, proper housing for me and my brother which I did by using money from my inheritance to buy a house and other little things, but in the end I got my guardianship of my brother. It was hard at first working while looking after my brother it's easy now but there are still its ups and downs, but I would do it all over again for my brother. 

I met my fiancé when I was (27) at a gathering, and we just clicked after three months of dating he proposed to me at first I said no because I still have my brother to take care of but after thinking I said yes, and we agreed to wait until we were financially stable. In the beginning of this year we wanted to tie the knot since I was pregnant because I didn't want my baby to be born out of wet luck, and we started the preparations and the wedding is happening in October but from what happened last week Saturday night it looks like there isn't going to be a wedding.

There were many issues where we fought and resolved, for example the wedding date the date my fiancé wanted for the wedding was on my brother's birthday. I had a problem with that I wanted to throw my brother a big party because he is turning (14) so I offered the week after in which we argued, and he even ran to his mother to try to convince my but I stood my ground stating my brother's birthday is important to me and him there was a little more fighting, but we end up coming to a resolved.

Then there were the roles I wanted my brother to play in my wedding at first I offered my brother to be his best man, but he said he wanted his best friend I said ok, then I said ring boy he would hold the rings on the little pillow and bring it up to us, but James said he wanted his nephew I said okay and left it. Saturday morning I was watching this tic tok video where the Bride asked her male best friend to her man of honor and I thought it was sweet so I decided to bring it to him, when he came home, I was in the kitchen while my brother was at sleepover at his friend's house that Saturday night, as he entered a sat, I said I have the perfect role for Matt.

What is that"-Him

"I thought he could be my man of honor and then both wedding parties then coming out as couples they can come out as singles"-Me

"WHAT"- Him

"Man of honor or I will call it my brother of honor it would be lovely"- Me

"But I thought you wanted my sister to be your maid of honor so that can't work"-Him

"I never agreed to this and what about my brother I want him to play some role in my wedding"- Me

"I was thinking he could be a guest and sit in the rows"- Him

I was completely shocked like I wanted my brother to be in my wedding and not some side guest, I didn't know what to say he wanted to put my brother on the side lines, his whole family was playing some part of the wedding and my most of my bridesmaids were his cousins only two was were close friends but this he couldn't grant me. I stopped what I was doing and told him no it was my wedding too, and I wanted my brother to be my man of honor, and he started that his sister was better, and my brother would be guest, and he didn't want children in the wedding parties, I completely lost and started arguing with him from one thing to the next.

Since Saturday, he hasn't come home, only sending his brother to pick up some of his stuff, and his mother and sister have been blowing up my phone, but I'm a selfish woman and so what if my brother is a guest. So the last time they called was Wednesday night and I went batshit crazy on both of them using language I'm not proud of but I end the call with (yes my brother is more important than him and this wedding if it's happening, and I will never put him in front of Matt, so I'm ; f**kin sorry and to let James contact me to talk things out).

So we bought a house with a 4 plex next door. We thought we had done our homework. Drove by, walked through the neighborhood, as much as we felt comfortable with without looking like stalkers.

We drive by the night before closing and both ends of the driveway are suddenly blocked in by cars we hadn’t noticed the umpteen times we had checked on our new house. And it’s tenants from the 4 plex next door. Easily 1/3rd of their vehicle is blocking one side of our very small driveway.

Cue months of not figuring out who the landlord is. We leave notes on the cars. Ask the driveway blockers nicely. Take pictures. Leave more notes - they even start throwing the notes in our driveway or putting them back on our car. I put up signs on our property and those get written on with sharpie and ripped down. It’s two separate tenants that are doing this. When I confront one tenant about damaging my signs, the response is “What are you gonna do about it?” I finally look the property owners up and call them. They eventually called me back and give me the property managers info.

My pictures combined with 10 or so emails, calls, video camera footage, and a year later and both tenants get evicted! We won. They’re gone, being a menace to new neighbors, both with evictions on their record for not following rules on the lease.

I (M35) work in a fly in fly out construction camp. One of the women on our crew (24) and I got together one night after drinking in the pub. She was very clear that it was just FWB and that when the job was over so we're we. She also told me to keep it to myself.

Which I did. Now she is getting sick of being hit on by guys in the pub. She said that she expected me to keep that from happening. I asked her how I was supposed to do that while also pretending like I wasn't being possessive.

I did tell guys to leave her alone. I said that she wasn't here to meet guys. But she is attractive and in camp with 4,000 guys and only 300 women. She is kind of a target for make attention.

I guess she thought I would tell people we were together even though she told me not to.

I don't think I'm the asshole for keeping our thing on the down low as requested.

My brother lost his job recently. His wife is a SAHW (no kids), and their emergency fund is running out quickly. He's in the process of finding a new one, but they're really struggling, and I felt bad not to help in any way. My husband and I on the other hand, have two stable jobs, and have an emergency fund that has excess money in it (24+ months' worth of our normal expenses).

So, I sent them a not-too-big portion of our fund, just to relieve them some stress and buy them some time. My husband found out extremely quickly, and now he is really really upset, but I had told him about my brother's situation and hoped he'd understand a bit.

AITA? I feel like I probably am.

So I was driving to the gym for a fitness class and I was parking on the street not too far from the gym. Since I work odd hours, this is usually fine because it was a 10am class. But this day the street was very busy due to construction. There was a good spot tho, and I pulled up next to the parked car in front of the open spot, prepared to parallel park, with signal on. The car behind me was a limo and they pulled up to about 1 metre behind me and would not move back to allow me a bit more space to park. I hand-signaled for them to move back a bit, I could see there was enough room behind them to do so, but they completely ignored me. I was quite pissed off and I pulled out into the other lane on an angle and did the most tight and accurate parking job I had ever done. There was about 10cm between me and the front car and between me and limo on the other side, but I parked PERFECTLY in the spot. I got out of my car without looking at the limo but I heard them swear at me and briefly saw them flash me the finger. Geez I loved that moment. Lol

I love my MIL genuinely. She was always very kind and accepting to me and she was never the crazy MIL who didn't want her son with anyone, or who compared me to an ex or something. She also never interfered before which is why this is so difficult for me.

So this is about her issue with me not being on the pick up list for my stepkids at school or activities. This is not something my husband just decided I couldn't do. Both my husband and the mother of my stepkids need to agree and sign off on a person being added to the pick up lists. This is outlined in their custody order that was set by the judge. The reason for this rule is simple; when their relationship first ended they disagreed a lot and carried on for too long so a judge stepped in and made the rule that both needed to agree or else. It's that simple. And while my husband did ask his ex for me to be added, she said no. So I don't go on the pick up list. It's that simple. A judge backed her no since it fits with the "both parents must agree".

Is it a pain sometimes? Yes. Is it something I'm extremely bothered by? No. I knew before we got married that she would not agree to me being on that list or anybody my husband is with. His ex is just not okay with that. What that means is when the kids are sick, I am never called. It means I cannot pick them up from school early for any reason and I cannot pick them up from school or an activity in general because they only release them to people on the list (their school is very high security).

This is something MIL became more aware of last month when my stepson got sick in school and needed someone to pick him up. My husband and stepkids mom was not around, neither was her mom, and my MIL and FIL were out of town when they got the call. She suggested I be called and found out I was not allowed to because I'm not on the list. She went to my husband and tore him a new one for not approving me for this. She said he married me and had a child with me, almost two (I'm expecting again) and if he trusts me that much he can add me to the list. He explained why he couldn't, which is something she was aware of. But MIL said he was showing no consideration or trust in me.

MIL ended up telling me how sorry she was my husband was doing this to me and she told me she'd keep fighting him for me over this. I told her there was no need for her to fight for me, that it's not a battle to me, and I understand. She said but I need someone to fight this battle when I could be accused of being too pushy. And I told her she doesn't need to fight an imaginary battle because that's all this would be. There was no dispute between me and my husband over this. I told her I appreciated her defending me and love her for wanting to support me but it's fine. She was upset. She told me she felt like I was brushing off how much she cares about me and wants the best for me with my stepkids. I notice ever since she has looked very hurt.

AITA?

My brother died when my niece was 10. He was divorced from SIL at the time of his death. My brother's assets and my niece's cut of my parent's estate were placed in a trust for my niece. I was in charge of the trust. There was some back and forth with SIL over who controlled the trust, but I was ultimately the one who got control. The trust was basically able to pay off what was my brother's house and the interest from the estate pays for its upkeep. There isn't much left after that but at least my niece has a paid off house. In leu of my SIL going after the estate for child support I let her, and my niece move into the house rent free.

My niece just turned 17 and is headed to her senior year of high school. My SIL has since remarried and has a new family with him one kid and one step kid. The new husband and family has moved into the house. The new husband apparently just got a job transfer and the whole family will have to move for the job. I talked to my niece about the move, and she hates the idea. She doesn't want to move with only one year left in HS. I agree with her on that issue.

My SIL wants me to sell the current house and use the funds to buy a new house in the new location. I told her that was automatically a no go. I wouldn't buy a house in a new location with my niece only likely living there full time for one more year. My niece plans to go to college and not likely in the area of the new house. This would be more a benefit for SIL than niece.

I gave my SIL three options.

1. The family can continue to live in the current house and continue the deal as is. This means new hubby's job will fall through. The new location is closer to his family.

2. We can sell the house; I will put the money into the trust. This will force my niece to move with her family. They may have to downsize because of me not giving money for a new house.

3. The family moves and then my niece stays behind she essentially does her senior year alone in the house. I'm not far from them and can check on her but can't be there daily. I'm out of her school district so she can't live with me and still go to the same school.

My Sil hates me right now over tearing her family apart. I really don't care about her hating me.

If my niece was starting HS and not finishing it, I might act differently and not give her no as much weight in this decision. I might be willing to let SIL use the money to buy a new house. The issue is because she close to the end. I don't want to disrupt her schooling. If my niece said yes to the move, I might be willing to let SIL use the money as well. So AITA for letting my niece choose where her family lives?