Q&As

Throwaway for obvious reasons.

I'm 35 and the mother to a 19 year old girl. We live in a state where abortion is legal. I had my daughter very young and I don't regret it, but I would never encourage it due to how hard it was. I had little to no support and I would never wish the pain I went through on anyone. My daughter's father passed when I was pregnant and she has no step father. It has always just been the two of us. I was kicked out of my home the second my family found out that I was pregnant, no questions asked, and we haven't been in contact since then. I've since moved halfway across the country, and I will not ever be reconciling.

My daughter has been dating her boyfriend for roughly 4 years now. Her boyfriend is the same age as her and not a bad kid, but he is still a child in my eyes. They both are. Her boyfriend still lives with his parents and refuses to go to college. My daughter wanted to be a nurse but is now deciding that she won't pursue a career because she wants to be a SAHM forever. She would've been going to school this fall, but decided to unenroll before it began.

When my daughter came to me two weeks ago telling me that she's 2 months pregnant I sat her down. I did not want her to go through the same things I went through. I asked her how this happened and she said that it was planned. She and her boyfriend mutually decided that they wanted to be parents and this horrified me because she knows all about the struggle we went through together and that I went through alone. I regretfully called her stupid and was upset, but told her that we can work through this together. Since she decided that she was keeping this baby, I gave her stricter rules, told her how it works, told her what's going to change, and that she will be getting an education under my roof. These terms are nonnegotiable.

My daughter did not like these terms. She fully expected me to allow her boyfriend to move in (who is unemployed, by the way), give her her college fund as money to spend on the baby, the two of them as a couple, and whatever else she wants, not pursue an education, and still go out whenever she wanted. I told her that I will watch her baby when she's at school and for a few hours a day when she does homework. I also said that I will watch her baby on Saturdays and Saturdays alone so that she can still have fun and be somewhat of a teenager. I wish that I was given one day out of the week to recharge, take a break from being a mom, and enjoy my childhood. I know that this is very lenient, but I love my daughter.

We ended up arguing almost every day since and my daughter's demands have gotten out of hand. She claims that they're very unfair and I told her to look up what teen pregnancy is like and what motherhood is all about because the conditions and rules that I gave her are very, very lax. I told her that if she will not abide by these rules, then she'll have to live with her boyfriend's family. She cried and yelled at me, but I put my foot down. She ended up moving out three days ago. We've never had a fight like this. We've argued about petty things such as sleepovers and parties, but it was always resolved within a few hours and was never serious like this. I've texted her multiple times that if she changes her mind on the pregnancy or the rules then she's more than welcome back home and that I will always love her no matter what she chooses. I also told her that she'll always be my baby girl and that I didn't want her to go, but we have no space for a full family and being a mother means that your entire life will change.

My heart aches. I love my daughter and feel like I failed her as a mother despite being so involved. She knows all about safe sex, was never bullied, we were basically best friends (though I am still her mother and she has always known that. It isn't just fun. I do discipline her when I have to and we get along amazingly), and we do everything together. I never thought this would happen. She had no better reason to get pregnant than "I wanted to be a mom and I'm ready" but she isn't thinking about what a mother actually does. I know I made single motherhood look "easy" but it never was. I worked two-three jobs for the majority of my life and didn't eat some days so that my daughter never went hungry and always had nice clothes. I only finally got a "real" job as a nurse 2 years ago after being in and out of school for over a decade.

AITA for kicking her out? I thought that this was the best thing to do to teach her that things will be changing. I want her to come home, I really do, but if she won't accept these new rules and understand that motherhood is not easy, I can't just let her back in willingly. I feel like such an asshole.

My (F53) soon to be ex husband Roger (47), whom I forgave for his affair, came home with a baby four months ago. His girlfriend (22) could not handle it anymore and brought the baby to him at work and left. To the best of his knowledge she is in Spain.

I allowed him to stay so long as I didn't have to do anything. Anything.

Well about a month ago Roger had a heart attack. It didn't kill him, mores the pity, but he is very weak and incapable of doing anything for himself. Since he isn't up and about he cannot care for his child. He also cannot drop of and pick up his son at daycare.

I have been helping but I'm done. My kids are full grown. I shouldn't be having grandkids any time soon. I do not have any desire to care for a baby.

I told Roger that I want a divorce, and I contacted the mother's parents. I know the father through friends. I said they had until Friday to come get their grandchild or I was calling Child Protective Services.

They just left with the baby. But they scolded me for being so cold towards a baby that had done me no harm. I view that child differently.

Roger is recovering and I will be moving out. The house is in his name but I have never contributed to it. I have the equivalent of twenty two years of rent and interest put away. And as per our prenup my savings are my own.

I work and I don't need anything out of this marriage except myself.

My kids tried telling me to stay and help their father. I said that they were welcome to come over and help him with cleaning himself and the baby. Both declined what I felt was a fair offer.

I do not feel that I am acting badly however Roger, our children, his child's family, and a few mutual friends think I am. Perhaps writing this out and seeing the responses will give me clarity.

My fiancée Allie(31f) is the type of person that calls people 2 or 3 times in a row when she wants to get ahold of them for anything. The first time she did this to my parents we were driving to a concert and I asked her to call my folks from my phone. She called, they didn't pick up. She started calling my mom again right away and I asked what she was doing. My mom picked up right away worried. Allie asked our question, I told mom false alarm, hung up. She asked why my mom had been irritated and I explained to her in my family, we only call twice in a row if it's an emergency.

Allie has never followed this and will always call them repeatedly for the most mundane stuff. If one doesn't answer she'll sometimes call my other parent.

All that to say a couple of weeks ago she broke her leg while working around the house. I was in a workshop for work that day and could only check my phone on breaks. She called my parents since they live a couple streets over but neither answered their phones. She wound up having to call an ambulance. I got her message about 2 hours after she fell and went to the hospital. She was pretty mad at my parents when I got there. I let then know what happened and they also rushed to the hospital to apologize and check on her. She didn't want them coming in so they sat outside for a bit, got her flowers from the gift shop and eventually went home.

I took some time off work to take care of her and my parents have been offering help as they could. Her sister drove in to help so I could go back to work. Last night I decided to make a nicer dinner than usual and wanted to invite my parents. I gave her a heads up I was inviting them and asked if she wanted me to rearrange some of the chairs and table so we can all eat together.

She got mad I wanted to invite them and is of the mind I shouldn't be wanting to see/speak with them after they ignored her. Her sister agrees with her and feels I'm putting my parents over my soon to be wife. Up until this point I haven't said anything to her about the situation but I did then and told her it was a massive fuck-up in communication on everyone's part and time we all talk it out to put behind us. Neither she nor her sister think she should stop being mad at them. Was I an asshole to invite my parents over?

Asked info: My parents were sitting outside for their quiet time when she called. It's not unusual for them to not answer calls/texts and wait to return them later when they do that. I myself had to do the two calls routine so they knew it was urgent.

I know the title is stupid but it's accurate.

I had a FWB Lisa. I caught feelings and asked her if we could be more. She said that I was a nice guy and she enjoyed the sex but she couldn't really imagine a relationship with me because I was a manwhore. She said we should just go back to being friends.

So we did. She dated a bunch of other guys and I met a few women I liked. We stayed friends and I never pushed for more. Not even going back to how it was.

I started dating my fiancee, Laura, a few years ago and she became friends with Lisa. She knows about our past relationship and she is okay with it as long as I respect her boundaries. Which I always have and will.

We got engaged last weekend. No wedding plans yet but she is the one.

Lisa called me yesterday and asked me if I got engaged. I told her yes. She asked me why I would do that since she was waiting for me to break up with Laura so we could try again now that I have proven I can be in a relationship.

I told her that we couldn't be friends any more and immediately told Laura what happened. She told me I shouldn't, not couldn't, hang around with Lisa any more. I told her that I already said we couldn't be friends.

A few of our friends from college have told me I'm a dick for cutting Lisa out since I knew she always had a thing for me. I said that nobody informed me that I was her backup plan. I would not have been interested if I had known. I am no one's second choice.

Lisa did ask me to have a coffee with her to talk. I went after I told Laura what I was up to. Lisa said that I was an asshole for not telling her that I was serious about Laura and that I was planning on getting engaged. She was waiting for me to tell her so she could tell me that she was ready for me now. WHAT? She said she didn't realize how serious we were since Laura and I don't live together yet.

We both live with our parents to save money for life. My folks are semi retired and spend nine months of the year away on vacations. Laura's parents are happy to have her there to help with her younger siblings.

I onow I made the right decision cutting her off but I'm wondering how the eff I was supposed to know. I'll be honest. If Lisa had told me in the first year of my relationship with Laura that she was ready I might have considered it. Laura and I were dating but not serious. How is it my fault if she never informed me?

I met my father in September of last year. I (16m) was 15 at the time, had recently lost my mom to cervical cancer and had found out that my grandparents and two of my aunts did not want to keep taking care of me. And instead of letting me go to my aunt out of state, they contacted the man who wanted nothing to do with me before and involved a social worker so I would need to go to him instead of the aunt I actually knew and who did want me.

Because a social worker was involved she made the effort to put me with my biological father over my aunt. I pleaded with her to let me live with my aunt and my aunt pleaded for this as well but we were denied. I was told a biological parent will always get custody over an aunt or uncle who has no legal rights to the child. Especially when my original guardians (my grandparents) sent me to my father instead. So in October, 3.5 weeks after I met him for the first time, I moved to another state to live with my father and his family.

For those who will tell me I was lied to or whatever, my father has admitted he knew about me but he was disgusted and embarrassed by his promiscuous ways in the past and for having pre-marital sex and he decided to start over. He said his wife was thankfully "very open-minded" and was happy for me to live with them and have a relationship with them despite my origins... which have fuck all to do with me.

My father and his wife are very religious. I'm not. I was raised by an atheist mom, had a mostly atheist family and I have no interest in joining or taking part in anything religious. This is a serious point of contention with my father and his family who try taking me to church and try to set it up so I will join their church and get baptized. I have refused. I have also said I want to live with my aunt. But that gets denied. I do talk to her via dms and video calls but it's not the same. She did try to petition for custody but the different states thing added complications, especially when a social worker is still actively involved.

Things got way more tense recently because two of my father's other kids were questioning me on why I don't pray and stuff like that and I told them I didn't believe, they tried to get me involved with their church stuff and I said no. They got upset and tried to do all this converting stuff and they're only middle schoolers for fuck sake. My father tried telling me I shouldn't shoot it down so quickly and he told me to give it a try and I said no. Then his wife decided to get her say and she told me I should be grateful for a chance to be saved and I'm being very stubborn and should show them respect as my parents to let them guide me into religion. I told her they are not my parents, they are randos I'm forced to live with and I will never take part in their religion ever and they need to accept that because I don't believe in God or anything. They didn't like my "closed mindedness" and they were pissed I spoke to them "with such finality".

AITA?

My children are not allergic to mushrooms. My children love cream of mushroom soup. My kids hate the texture of mushrooms. When my wife uses canned mushroom soup in a recipe she will strain out the mushrooms for the kids.

However when I use mushroom soup in a recipe I run it through the blender. The pieces are so little that they have no texture. The kids don't complain about it and I don't waste time.

My wife seems to think that I'm being an asshole because I'm trucking them into eating something they have been very clear about not liking.

I asked if she would rather eat a fistful of raw flour or a slice of bread. Preparation makes a difference.

I think we are both trying to make sure that the kids eat a good meal we just go about it different ways.

Original post:

Thank you all for your advice! My sister and niece moved out last week, she’s in the process of getting an apartment and they’re temporarily staying with a friend of my sister’s for the time being. I warned her that if I contacted the developers, they would get her daughter banned, so either way my niece wasn’t keeping the stuff she stole, so she should try minimise her losses. She claimed I had no proof her daughter hacked the account and refused to compromise. She said I was petty and childish for making them “homeless” over a kid’s video game. And don’t get me wrong, I feel bad, I really do. My sister and I never really got along as kids so I was hoping at least our kids could have a good relationship with each other. But still, they were inevitably going to leave at some point so I suppose I only sped up the process.

Now that my niece is gone, my daughter seems a lot happier now. She told me she was perfectly fine, but I knew her well enough to know that she wasn’t. Some very kind and generous people here have offered to gift her some of their items to rebuild her account, to which I am extremely grateful, but my daughter said she felt bad about taking stuff from other people. I’d already reported my niece’s account, which seemed to have no effect. I’m not very tech savvy, but I considered contacting the Roblox developers to see if they could reverse the transaction. However, my daughter informed that doing so would only ban the account, losing all of my daughter’s items in the process.

I would like to extend all my thanks to the commenter that suggested I try and log in to my niece’s account. Believe it or not, it only took 5 attempts. Turns out that 10 year olds don’t have the best comprehension of Internet security. Surprisingly, getting into the account was the easy part. I spent an embarrassingly long amount of time looking up how to trade everything back - I swear I’m getting old. I couldn’t tell which items were my daughter’s and which were actually my niece’s, so I simply transferred everything my niece had just to be safe.

When she came home from school today, I told my daughter I had a fun surprise for her waiting on Roblox. Words can’t describe how proud of myself I felt when I saw the joy rush back into her face. The ironic part is that my niece had previously won this very rare halo item from this sort of lottery system, which my daughter claims is one of the most expensive items in that game. Now it was transferred to my daughter’s account, meaning that my daughter walked out of this situation richer than she was to start with. My sister just messaged me in all caps yelling at me that my niece has been through so much and I was just kicking her when she was down. She accused me of stealing from a little girl. I simply told her that, in her own words, it’s just a bunch of pixels on a screen.

Thank you to everyone for your support.

I 27F was a bridesmaid at my older sister's wedding last week. The wedding was beautiful and everything seemed perfect until the reception. During the reception the maid of honor who has been my sister's best friend since childhood gave her speech. it was emotional and all but then she made a joke about how I was the family screw up who finally managed to do something right by not messing up my bridesmaid duties. Everyone laughed but I didn't find it funny.

For context I’ve had a rough few years. I struggled with my mental health and dropped out of college for a while. I've since gotten my life back on track but it’s still a sensitive topic for me. Hearing that joke in front of all our family and friends wasn't funny at all. My sister's best friend and I never really got along but still I never expected something like this from her. Especially the day wasn't about me at all then why bring me up in the speech?

I tried to stay composed but I felt the tears coming so I quietly left the reception and went outside to collect myself. My sister followed me out and asked what was wrong. When I told her she said it was just a joke and she meant nothing bad. I tried to go back inside but I just couldn't and I ended up leaving the wedding early. My parents understand why I was upset but my sister is angry with me. I do feel terrible for leaving but I also feel like I had the right to feel hurt and humiliated.

Edit: I said nothing at the moment because I didn't want to cause a scene on my sister's special day. And I can't reason with her right now because she will just ask me if I haven't been taking my meds lately because that's what she does when she's angry with me so I'm giving her some time to maybe realize how her best friend's joke was out of line.

Edit- I have the kids more than her, she has them for an hour in the morning and I have them for 2-3 every night. Also everyone saying. Don't know the stress of the morning shift. I have literally done it for 2 years. She is the one that wanted the morning shift because of her schedule

For everyone saying have you asked what is wrong, yes she doesn't give an answer

I need an outisde opinion to this.

My wife and I have two kids that are both in daycare. My wife will take the morning shift, which includes getting the kids up, getting breakfast and to the daycare.

I handle the night shift which is getting the kids from daycare, doing dinner and starting to get them ready for bed. Usally she gets home around 6:30-7 and the whole family has like 30 minutes together before the kids bedtime. We usally spend reading to them. She has to travel an hour+ ( depends on traffic)to work each way.

So the kids are getting at daycare at 8 in the morning and I will pick them up around 4. I work from home and start around 7 and end around 3-3:30.

The issue is around brekafast, we agreed that I would make dinner each night and she does breakfast. She already makes food for the kids so it's literally just making an extra one of what she is already making.

For the past month she will either not make it at all for me, not tell me that it is done ( I have asked her to just give a general time but she keeps switching up the schedule). One day the are eating a 7 in the morning and then getting dressed other days she is giving them toast before getting into the car.

I have talked to her multiple time and explained that it is not considerate. We got into an argument and she told me I am home so just make my own food. I explained I may be home but I am doing my job.

Yesterday she didn't make anything and I had enough. She came home and I didn't make her anything for dinner. When asked I told her she is home and can make her own food.

This started a huge argument and she called me a jerk.

For context... She admitted herself that morning for chest pains the night before. Was put through the gauntlet of tests that resulted in wildly high enzyme levels, so they placed her under 24hr observation. After spending the day, I needed to go home for the night with our daughter (6). In the wee hours, 3am, my wife rang the nurse to complain about the same pains that brought her in. An ecg was run and sent off, and in the moment, she was told that it was just anxiety. Given morphine to "relax".

FF to 7am shift change and the new nurse introduces herself, my wife complains again. Another ecg run (no results given on the 3am test) and the results show she was in fact having a heart attack. Prepped for immediate surgery and after clearing a 100% frontal artery blockage with 3 stents, she is now in ICU recovery. AMA

My sister just told me she's due to give birth on the same day as my wedding. She wants me to postpone the wedding so she can attend, but I've been planning this for over a year and everything is set. I feel like it's unfair to ask me to change everything last minute.

We didn't know she was pregnant when we set the date. I get that childbirth is a big deal, but so is my wedding. My parents are siding with her, saying family should come first. But I don't want to rearrange everything and risk losing deposits, not to mention the hassle of rescheduling vendors and guests.

I offered to have a livestream so she could watch, and I’d visit her in the hospital right after the ceremony. She called me selfish and now there's a big rift in the family. My fiancé is supporting me, but I can't help but feel like a villain. Am I really the bad guy here for wanting to keep my original wedding date?

Would love to hear your thoughts on this.

Weird one. And…. Unexpected?

I was explaining to my daughter (during a relevant conversation) that if ever she’s lost or anything, she needs to find a woman preferably with children. It’s the safest option, statistically. Of course, no situation is completely safe from badness and risks.

My partner then pipes up and says “says who? Who says that women are safer than men?” I was like… well, it’s quite well known, and… statistics. You know. And he got soooo defensive. He was saying he doesn’t believe in statistics as they’re always rigged and it’s not a ‘fact’. I didn’t really know what to say….. I said those are the facts. He said he knows more women who abused and raped people than men. I said well yeah. That’s possible because the amount of people you know is a drop compared to the world. It’s anecdotal. It doesn’t really mean anything in terms of the stats.

Am I… some how in the wrong here???

Okay so two friends of mine are visiting the country I live in this week (separately). We are all in our early to mid 30s. I am a practicing muslimah so I obey the conditions of hijab. This is something all my friends know.

Bella is a school teacher and here since it’s her half term break in the UK, she’s come with some friends of hers and is definitely here for more of a party holiday.

Sofia’s husband has business interests here and she came with him to help with those and also catch up with friends (like me) that live in this country.

Since there was an overlap we decided to get together and go out for a meal. Sofia made a reservation at a Michelin starred place for dinner. Bella agreed to come but said she was going to go to a club with her friends in the later night.

Now I figured she would go back to her hotel and get ready for clubbing with her other friends. Instead she turned up at the restaurant in a very tight and low cut short dress. It was very much against dress code and the maitre d’ did mention it.

Sofia spoke to him and he ended up just giving Bella a shawl to cover her shoulders and chest before seating us. But she was still clearly not in dress code.

I guess someone else complained about it because the wait staff came back and asked if Bella was able to change or she’d be asked to leave.

I was wearing an abaya over a dress with tight half sleeves. She turns to me and asks me to give her my abaya so she can wear it over her outfit.

I said no way because then my arms would be uncovered and that’s inappropriate for me! She kept insisting even when I was refusing and Sofia told her she was being insensitive and that she had been aware of the dress code before she came.

The whole time the staff are standing there and people are looking at and whispering about us.

In the end Sofia took her jacket and gave it to Bella and then she put the shawl across her legs.

Soon as the meal was done she rushed off and hasn’t spoken to us aside from one message in the gc calling us dicks.

I don’t think I was TA but I’ve never seen Bella act like this before so I’m confused.

My (m64) wife (f66) asked me last night if I would park my Jeep outside the garage for two weeks while we go on vacation so her son (m42) could park his car in our garage to hide it from the repo man? I said NO I want my vehicle in the garage while out of town. Wife is upset and not talking to me now. The stepson will be staying at our house while we are gone. My Jeep is worth considerably more than his car. I don’t want my Jeep stolen or vandalized and feel safer with it in the house. He is making the payments on his car now but it is supposed to be on a repo list because he is behind on payments.

EDIT: This AMA is now closed. Robert had to head back to the country club where he works to finish a maintenance job.

Thank you to everyone for your interest, and please check out the longform to learn more about this case. There is a lot more we didn't get into in the AMA.

***

Hello. We're exoneree Robert DuBoise () and Tampa Bay Times journalists Christopher Spata () and Dan Sullivan (). At 10 A.M. EST we will be here to answer your questions about how Robert was .

A Times special report by Sullivan and Spata titled examines Robert's sensational murder trial, his time on death row and in general population in prison, his exoneration 37 years later and how the DNA evidence in Robert's case helped investigators bring charges in a different cold-case murder that revealed at least one admitted serial killer.

At 18, Robert was arrested for the Tampa murder of 19-year-old Barbara Grams as she walked home from the mall. There were no eyewitnesses, but the prosecutor built a case on words and an apparent bite mark left on the victim's cheek. Robert was sentenced to death.

Florida normally pays exonerees money for their time in prison, but when Robert walked free over three years ago, he had to fight for compensation due to Florida's "clean hands rule." Then he had figure out what his new life would be like after spending most of his life in prison.

()

So, my boyfriend and I have been together for three years, and he recently asked me to sell my horse to help him buy a new car. My horse is my absolute best friend and has been with me through thick and thin. I told him no, and now he's super pissed and says I’m not being supportive. He argues that a car is more practical and that I’m being selfish. I get that cars are useful, but my horse is like family to me. Am I really the asshole here for choosing my horse over his car?