My ex-wife and I have a 9 year old son together. We broke up when he was 1 after I found out she was cheating on me. Right after I left her she told me she was pregnant and attempted to pass the baby off as mine but I knew based on how far along she was that it couldn't be mine. We hadn't been together like that for months at that point. But she kept trying until she was 5 months when she conceded that I wasn't buying it. Her baby was stillborn at 7 months and what was already a bitter enough divorce (I was mad she cheated, she was mad that I refused to buy that her kid was mine and didn't want to make our marriage work). When she lost the baby she did everything she could to make me pay for the cremation. She even attempted to sue me for the money when I didn't give her anything but it was thrown out. During the divorce we had a DNA test done on our son and he was mine. And we split custody.

My ex has been in a few relationships since and has three additional children. She remarried a few months ago and she's currently pregnant with baby #5 but she's struggling and so is her marriage. She wrote a very long email about all this and asked me to give her extra money for two of her kids who have birthdays coming up and she has nothing for them because money is so tight. She also told me to take our son shopping for gifts for them on top of giving her money directly for gifts. I thought she was going crazy at first but she was serious.

I told her that would not be happening. That my duty is to my son and not to her additional children. She told me my duty is to make sure his family is taken care of. I told her I take care of my kid. I pay child support despite having our son equally to her (50/50) because it's acknowledged I earn more. But I won't be paying for her to have more kids with other people. She called me heartless. Told me I can easily afford it and then some. She said I was just as heartless as when I made sure her stillborn child didn't have a nice funeral.

AITA?

Been seeing this woman for 2 years (she’s 40 , i’m 43). She lives long distance so I fly to go see her as much as I can (3x a year). We were planning on getting more serious and possibly moving in together later this year. The last time we met, we spent the majority of the time with her 3 kids (it had only been just me and her dating up until then). She struggles financially to make ends meet with 3 kids so I’ve always volunteered to pay when going out to eat. As the week progressed, I noticed that she was allowing her kids (the 6 and 9 year old) to order full blown adult plates fully knowing that they would not finish the entire meal (they do not take left overs home, either). We also later pulled up to a Starbucks and she asked them what they wanted and they all said a large drink. I, of course, paid. They took a few sips from their drink and told her they didn’t want it anymore. All of this didnt sit well with me, since I was raised to only order what I would finish and to just not be wasteful with food, especially when going out to eat (I also have 2 girls of my own from a previous relationship, which I raised this way). Once I flew back home, after a few days I told her I was bothered by the fact that she was not being mindful of my money by not setting boundaries with her children and allowing them to just order knowing that they will likely just waste good food and my money. She got very offended and said she couldn’t believe I was bringing up the issue of money and her kids and that I was somehow trying to humiliate her. I told her I apologize if you took offense about your children and the dinner topic; I said its not an issue about money but rather about my own principles. I realized that I shouldn’t be forcing my view of things on to her, and decide on my own if I want to continue being with her without making her feel bad. She went silent for a day and then broke up w/ me over the phone saying we were not compatible and some other generic excuse. AITAH? Since she technically broke up with me, and am now the dumpee, is it better to go no contact (currently on week 3 of that) or should I break NC and make another attempt at a sincere apology? I really do love and miss her, but part of me thinks I’m the AH and the other part of me thinks that I am right for bringing up some behaviors that I believe need correcting.

I had no intention of mentioning divorce not until I get some answers that could help with my decision. I was hoping we would end up agreeing on counseling or something. I just wanted an honest conversation to know if there was a way to fill that void for him without ever getting the surgery.

I sat him down last night and just like usual he tried to change the subject. I made it clear to him that it's either we talk about it now or he never ever brings breast surgery up again. Well that did it for him. I asked him why he suddenly after 6 years together want me to get one. He wouldn't give me a straight answer. I told him if I'm to consider having one he needs to be honest with me about what changed in the past few months. He grabbed his phone and showed me some women's pictures on his phone (and let me tell you they weren't Instagram models. They were 100% OF models). He showed me more than 5 pictures with no shame or the slightest consideration of my feelings. With each pic he said things like "See you would look 10 times hotter" "She's not even as gorgeous as you are but" I asked him if I decide to never get the surgery would he ever drop the idea. Like can we move past it. He said it's something he can't stop thinking about because he really feels like he would be more attracted to me and that I myself would feel more confident with the boob job.

I do have eyes and just like I know how small my chest is I know that I have a nice body figure. People see, people compliment so they can't all be liars. I asked what he ever liked about me in general because from the pictures he showed me I didn't see any woman that resemble me even a bit. He said that I'm gorgeous and have a killer smile and he likes my curvy hips. I asked if there's anything else he likes about me in general (I was hoping he would mention something other than my body or anything) and all he said was "Your lips" I told him since I'm considering breast augmentation surgery is there anything else he thinks I could fix so he feels more attracted to me while we're at it. I hoped that he would at least say other than my boobs he loves everything about me. he said "you're good". (From the grammatical errors you could tell I'm not a native English speaker. I'm Brazilian)

I told him I will think about it and said goodnight because I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing my tears. I don't know if I'm just naturally stupid and never paid attention to the red flags or he just decided to show me his true colors now that we're married. By the way since some asked. Yes he does know about my history with my mother (every woman in my family is a c-cup and up. including my younger sister. I'm the only one with a-cup😂).

He initiated sex later and I told him there's a lot on my mind right now. He didn't even argue and after like 5 mins said "I will pay for it. Don't you worry about that"

When we met he was around 230 lbs (he's 5'8") and never went to the gym before (he's 190 lbs now). I'm mentioning this because some said I hooked up with him for his looks/physique. Physique wasn't on the table back then. But it never/would matter to me as long as the person in front of me cares about me for who I am. I myself not perfect. Anyway he was so insecure about his looks and I never ever said a thing about it. I used/still voice how I love this and that about him. I boosted his ego just for him to decide that he would be more attracted to me if I get a boob job after 6 years together.

And for those saying I'm lazy for not going to the gym with him and that he wants what's best for me (I said I do exercise) yes I'm an a-cup and I know it's not for everyone and I respect that. But I'm fucking gorgeous. My mother/him or anyone else won't change that. (I'm a babe deal with it) He himself used to mention how I get looks all the time when we're out. I felt hurt and cried because it hurts to not feel desired by the person you love the most and want to be desired by. Other than that I'm perfectly happy with my body. And if I ever decide to get the boob job I will get it for me not for someone who finishes in 2 minutes and can't even hit the spot. I need time to make a plan before I start the process. When everything is ready and I have a place lined up I will serve him the papers.

By the way I will initiate sex tonight and every night until the day I serve him(edit: I get it now its a bad idea but I will go with it for tonight at least). I bought a dildo today thrice his size and I'm using it right after he finishes. If he goes low I'm going lower until I have an exit plan ready.

Thank you to each and everyone who took the time to read my post and share their support/advice. Your words have really made a difference for me. Thanks to the men who offered their perspectives/advice. Your honesty has been eye opening🙌🏻

Edit: I never knew Reddit wasn't for such problems and that I wasn't supposed to post on this sub (I tried another sub and they asked for an account starting with throwara). I can't talk about this with family and friends especially not my mother. It's just embarrassing. The best option for me was people on the internet.

Years ago, when there was only flip phones, I worked for a week for this guy off Craigslist. 8 or 10 hour days for 7 straight days.

He dropped off $37 at my house with a nasty note saying I was a shitty painter and didn't even deserve the $37. I can't remember my hourly rate but I know it was more than a few cents an hour.

So this dude had mentioned he had arguments with his girlfriend about constantly calling and leaving messages, because he would still incur a charge.

So my buddy had a PC with a modem, and set it up to dial the guys phone for three straight days and leave a message for two seconds and hang up, then redial.

I wish I knew what his bill was by the end.

I did what I shouldn’t have. But my gut feeling was telling me something was off. Last Friday I invited my gf out but she stopped replying after 9pm and put her phone on do not disturb. I had found that odd that she did that but later around 11 she texted me that she had fell asleep. Fast forward today I was over her house and she had left her phone on the counter to go shower, and I knew I shouldn’t have but I did anyway, I looked through her phone. Now, she has mentioned to me that she keeps in contact with her old boss, he’s about 60yrs old and they text every now and then but it was all innocent. They go out once every few months to catch up. Well I saw his messages from Friday, and she went out with him. I told her what did she end up doing Friday and she said nothing that she fell asleep. Then I lied and told her, that her family had told me she went out Friday night then she changed her story saying she went out with her friend. And I told her if she was sure that’s who she went out with me, and of course she was sticking with that story. Then that’s when I told her that I had looked through her phone and saw the messages with the old guy. And her face immediately changed. She immediately apologized for lying to my face and said that nothing ever happens between them, she only goes out to eat with him and catch up. I told her that does she really think that old guy honestly sees you as a friend, that he doesn’t want anything else from you. She replied that she knows he wants more from her but she doesn’t see him that way. And it’s up her if it ever gets there, and she reassured me that it won’t. I asked her then why do you continue seeing him if you know his intentions are. She said because he buys her things. Essentially her sugar daddy. And now I have no idea what to do.

TL;DR: I went through my girlfriend’s phone and found out she has a sugar daddy

Before I get into the update, I need to clarify something that many commenters were asking about on the initial post. I edited that post as well, but decided I should put the explanation here as well. Many people have been asking how my wife getting a job was able to pay for a nanny and me reducing my work hours slightly. The answer is that we live in the northeastern USA, where minimum wages are good (relatively speaking), and that "nanny" was a poor choice of words on my part. She's more of an informal babysitter, not an official job. She's a college student who wanted to make some money while taking online classes, without dealing with the hassle of getting a real job. My wife makes around $16 per hour with a standard 40 hour work week, while we pay the babysitter $10 per hour for five hours per day, five days a week. After taxes on my wife's income and paying for the babysitter, we have around $900 a month left over that has allowed me to reduce my hours slightly.

Now, for the update. I called in sick to work today, which is something I rarely ever do, and asked my wife to do the same so we could sit down and talk about everything. She agreed, and this morning we had a long, heartfelt discussion. I told her that I was sorry for what I said in the heat of the moment. I don't want to divorce her, I was angry and hurt and wasn't thinking about the damage threatening divorce would do. I told her that I understand things have been difficult for us the last three years, but I was shocked that she would be "sorely tempted" to cheat on me after just six weeks with some random guy at her job. I told her that having been the sole, or at least the main provider for our family pretty much the entire time we've known each other, I felt like I wasn't being appreciated enough for the work and effort I've been putting in.

She said she felt the same way, that she felt like she was struggling thanklessly since I was never around to be with her. I told her that that was only the case because I had to make enough money to pay for the kid and the house she wanted. (And before anyone tries to twist my words, I love my son dearly. I am not simply "putting up" with him because she wanted to keep him.) If I took less overtime to see her and help with the kid more often, we'd have trouble keeping the lights on. We both agreed that we needed more time with each other at home, but talking out how to make that happen took awhile.

Eventually, I told her that I stand by what I said to her when we first bought the house we are currently in: it is too much house for us. It's a two-bedroom, two-bath house with more area than we need, and the mortage and property taxes are too high. I brought this up when we first looked at the house, but my wife insisted that this would be the perfect house for our family to grow up in, and that once it was paid off, we would be set. But seeing how much we've struggled to afford this house while slowly falling apart physically and mentally, I think she understands now that it's too much.

After some prodding, I convinced her that we need to start looking for a house to downsize into. Selling our current house will give us enough cash to pay off the mortgage, though not by much. Once we're in a smaller home with smaller expenses, I won't have to work as much, meaning we can spend more time together as a couple and a family. She told me that she "just wanted [my name] back," and I honestly almost cried hearing how much she meant it. I was so focused on work and paying the bills that I lost sight of what we needed as a couple, and our marriage very nearly imploded because of it.

The final issue to address was her job, and more specifically the scumbag who was hitting on her while knowing she was married. Given our current financial situation, it would be stupid to make her quit her job and go back to staying at home, plus it would probably only make her feel trapped again since she only recently got back out into the world after bring a SAHM. However, I can't stand the thought of that guy even looking at my wife, especially since I know she harbored some sort of interest at some point, even if it came from loneliness and desperation.

I told her that at the very least, she needs to report the guy to management/HR and ask for different hours so that they are never in the building at the same time. If that happens, then there's no reason for her to just quit, but if that doesn't happen, then I'll be helping her look for a new job immediately.

Things are still difficult right now, but as I type this a couple hours after the conversation, I think we've pulled back from the point of no return. We're both just taking the day to calm down and think rationally about what needs to happen to get our financial and personal relationship back on track, but I'm hopeful. Thank you so much to all the people who gave advice and constructive criticism. I know lots of you suggested couples' therapy, and while I'm considering it, that's another big expense I don't want to take on right now unless it's absolutely necessary. If things continue to improve between my wife and me, then I won't waste the money, but if things start to stagnate or get worse again, then I'll bite the bullet and suggest getting professional help to her.

I have two kids, who are 2 and 4 years old. And one thing I try to reinforce with them is that if mom or dad says "no" if they go to the other parent, the answer they will get is no. Which means if they ask my wife, and she says no, regardless of how I feel on the matter, I'm going to back her up. And I expect my wife to do the same. Well this morning we were getting ready to leave and 4 year old asked my wife if she could get out a game that always makes a mess. So my wife said no, immediately 4 turned to me and asked the same question. So I said, "No, your mom told you no." Which upset my wife, and I don't quite understand why. AITA?

I (F33) just had my birthday last week. The only problem is that no one in my family remembered. My maternal grandfather passed away about a month ago and my entire family (mom, dad, and 2 younger brothers) flew back to my mother’s home country for the funeral. I, unfortunately, could not go as I’ve only recently started a new job. I wasn’t particularly close to my grandfather so I wasn’t too upset about staying behind. My family was gone for a total of 22 days and we FaceTimed and stayed in constant communication during their trip. I think it’s great that my mom got to reconnect with family and that my brothers got a chance to meet everyone. They got back last Wednesday and have been readjusting due to jet lag since then (understandably). My birthday was last Friday (2 days) after they got back. TBH, I wasn’t expecting more than birthday wishes from everyone, but the day past without a word from anyone. Was I annoyed? Sure. But I wasn’t too upset. I’m not the biggest birthday person. I ended up having a nice birthday dinner with my boyfriend and a few friends. All hell broke loose Saturday afternoon when I got a really angry phone call from my dad. I guess my boyfriend did a special IG post for me and my brothers saw it and showed my parents. I had no idea he did this as he isn’t a big poster. Anyway, I could hear my mom crying in the background while my dad laid into me saying that they were sorry they forgot, but not saying anything and then posting about it online was passive aggressive and mean. I told him that I wasn’t upset and that I didn’t think a 33rd birthday was that big a deal anyway. He said a few more things before abruptly ending the call. I didn’t hear from my family the rest of the weekend. Today (Monday) I woke up to a bunch of notifications. I guess my mom did a Facebook post talking about ungrateful kids and how I ruined their surprise party for me and tagged me. My extended family seemed to agree that I was a jerk. I’ve tried calling my mom, but she didn’t answer so I posted my own reply and said “You guys forgot and no one wished me a happy birthday unless you count dad calling and yelling at me”. Both of my parents have been calling all morning, but I don’t want to take their calls yet. AITA?

Twins run in both our families. We actually met at a twin festival in Ohio.

My brother and I did not marry twin sisters, or even sisters from the same family. But my wife does have a twin. And her sister had twins. As did we.

We have twin boys that are about six months older than their female cousins. It makes for some very cute pictures.

My mother in law might be insane. She is trying to convince her daughters to trade. Like a boy for a girl. So each girl can have a brother I guess. I think it is the craziest thing I've ever heard. My wife also agrees but won't tell her mom to drop it. My sister in law and her husband are on my side. It isn't something that any of us are entertaining.

At first I thought she was just making a joke. No such luck. She is seriously proposing this.

The thing that might make me an asshole isn't turning down this whack job. It telling my wife it might be a good idea to distance ourselves from her mom. My wife loves her mom and her foibles. She says it's just the way she is. I don't want my kids around someone so unstable that they think this is a normal thing to suggest.

EDIT

I need to make it clear that I did tell my mother in law that this was not going to happen and to stop bringing it up. it is my wife that will not.

I keep seeing all these comments and jokes from people aged 25+ about their backs breaking from the smallest things or like how they broke their arm from moving it wrong once. They're probably joking, but there is likely some truth in there. With the exception of some diseases, you shouldn't be seeing much deterioration at the age of 30 (if at all) as long as you eat healthy and workout regularly. Take care of yourself instead of blaming it on your age. The fastest marathon runner set the record in his 30s.

My (35M) wife (31F) and I have one daughter (2F). I work full time while my wife is a SAHM. Lately, I realized that my wife does not put sunscreen on our daughter when she takes her outside. Like, ever. The only time that she puts sunscreen on her is if she is going to the pool, and only if it is mid afternoon. My wife reasons that "she (our daughter) stays in the shade most of the time, so she doesn't need it." This is regardless of the time of day, the weather, the temperature, anything. Our daughter has a VERY light complexion.

I have recently put my foot down and told her that our daughter needs sunscreen on anytime she goes outside. If it is 8 AM or 7 PM sure its not nearly as big of a deal, but for sure if she's going out between 11 AM and 5 PM its a big deal that she has sunscreen on. My wife is mad because it is so difficult to put sunscreen on our daughter because she hates having it put on, and if she has to put sunscreen on every day, my wife will also have to bathe her every day. She says that if I want sunscreen on her during the day, that I can put it on and bathe her every day.

I have no problem helping out, I do it all of the time. But I literally can't put sunscreen on her every day when she goes out...I'm working. I know that having kids wear sunscreen is super important, I just feel like I'm going crazy. AITAH for demanding that our daughter wear sunscreen when she goes outside?

EDIT: I just want to be clear, we bathe our child. She's not going a week without bathing or being put to bed after running around outside all day. We just try not to bathe her every day if possible, as she often gets rashes if we do. If she has gotten in a pool or put something on her skin that she would want to wash off, or just generally anything that would make her dirty, we bathe her.

My wife (36f) and I (34m) were flying back from Dublin to Washington DC. We were assigned the middle and window seats in a row. The aisle passenger no-showed so we ended up having the entire row to ourselves (huge win). Before leaving the gate, I moved to the aisle seat and my wife stayed at the window.

Nothing eventful happened for the first 4.5 hours of the flight. FAs were amazing and even gave us extra drinks for the “guy in the middle”. Randomly, the passenger from the aisle seat across from me comes over with her friend who was sitting a few rows back and ANNOUNCES that her friend would now be taking the middle seat to get away from an crying baby further back. She did not ask - she told us this was happening. There were about 3 hours of flight time remaining.

I ask the woman whether the Flight Attendants are on board with this. She said yes, but since these deals are usually brokered by the FA, I called over a FA. The FA said the agreement was that they could take an available aisle seat but could not disrupt anyone’s seating arrangements. The woman then starts bitching about how I was assigned the middle but then moved to the aisle before takeoff, so I shouldn’t even have that aisle seat. I had been sitting there for almost 5 hours and we had already distributed our items all over the row.

The woman and her friend disappear to talk to another FA for about 5 minutes. The woman across the aisle then comes back to her seat and proceeds to yell at me saying that “her friend would not be sitting there - not because she was not allowed to, but because I was so incredibly rude” and that I was a “fucking asshole”. I kept my eyes on the show I was watching.

The only thing I did this entire time was ask to talk to the flight attendant. I did not say anything else to this woman, though I would have liked to.

AITA for not volunteering the middle seat mid-flight?

I’m getting married in august to my partner of almost fifteen years. We have a kid together and recently bought a house with a yard, so we decided to go to city hall on our anniversary and tie the knot!

We are simple people so we decided on a simple party: backyard barbeque. That way, we dont have to rent a place or pay through the nose for fancy food. We’re providing pasta salad, potatoes, all the veggies and some basic meat but we asked everyone to bring their ‘own meat’ (or veggie burger or whatever) so we can make a giant buffet. A friend of ours is bringing his DJ stuff and we’re going to dance for a bit. I made my own dress in a nice blue fabric, our kiddo got to pick our sparkly shoes and a sparkly dress, partner went to Zara for a suit. We made our own invites (kid made a cute drawing of us that i used in Canva) and decorations. Fun right?

Enter… Aunt W. She’s my father’s sister. We see her once or twice a year at christmas and the occasional family bbq. De dont like her or her entitled son. We sent her our invite and she went to my parents to ask if we are too poor for a real wedding? Why is it not fancy? It’s not normal! Why is it so sad? She’s never heard of a wedding where people bring their own food! Cant my parents pay for a real wedding?

Turns out she’s discussed this with my entire side of the family by phone and ‘everyone agrees it’s sad’.

My parents called me to tell me about the conversation (they thought it hysterical and wacky). So i called her to ask why she cant talk to me if she cares so much? She denied it at first, then told me ‘everyone agrees it’s too sad to attend’ and then told me my grandparents and her and her family arent coming. I was also told she was ready to give us a VERY lavish gift but now just wont. (We explicitely stated no gifts and suggested people donate to a local charitty instead).

We were LIVID at first. How dare she? She also dragged the rest of the family along and made my grandparents not come either.

We gave it some thought and we think her logic is: her son got married five or six years ago with all the bells and whistles, the glitz and glam, fancy party. We attended (it was boring as fuck) and now Aunt feels she also deserves a fancy party to attend.

Like we were going to turn around and spend 15000€ or more just because someone we see once a year thinks we are ‘poor’ or ‘sad’.

All in all: good riddance.

Recently I have been sleeping with this guy named Harry (33M) but we aren't dating, and both of us agreed to keep things casual. Anyway last night he came over and we started watching netflix, not long after things started escalating by him kissing down my neck and teasing me. He started eating me out and i couldn't wait so i told him to fuck me. But first i told him to put a condom on so he did.

Within 10 mins he asked if he could take it off which i said no at first but eventually i came around to it because he said he will pull out. I only agreed to it because i love getting filled up and it's one of my biggest fantasies. Well apparently i shouldn't have let him do this because he didn't pull out, it's like he didn't even try. Right after i looked at him like wtf was that? It was annoying because it felt so good being pumped full from him but i also said not to do it. Then he tried switching the blame onto me and said i shouldn't have said yes because guys can't think straight when they're horny.

We've been fighting back and forth about this and im even taking some blame that i shouldn't have agreed to it. But he won't admit to his mistake which is annoying. Now i have to drive 1.5hrs to the nearest pharmacy that actually has plan B and he probably won't even pay for it because he's an asshole. Ughh im def getting on birth control now but i don't think i can fuck him again, if u know anyone else that would fill me up plzz let me knoww.. I can't go long without sex before going manic

So yesterday my(m28) cousin celebrated her 18th birthday.

This time, because she’s an adult, she was in charge of her own guest list when it comes to family members, so I was the only family member she invited. We’ve always had a great relationship.

I wasn’t aware of this when I got there, so I asked her why she didn’t at least invite her grandparents.

Her answer was kind of obvious: Because everyone in the family always treated her mom like shit. And since her mom said she doesn’t have to invite everyone in the family this time she chose not too.

What I didn’t understand tho, was why not our grandparents, they always treated my cousin great.

She then said the following: Yes, they gave her nice gifts, but they always talked down to her mom and didn’t help her out when they struggled financially. (My aunt’s a single mom, dad never paid child support and she also had a lot of debt)

Well it was kind of obvious she still didn’t know the truth, so i figured, she’s old enough, legally an adult. And if she goes no contact with our grandparents the truth will come out eventually(they’re planning on paying for her college) so i might as well ‘rip off the bandaid now’

So i told her why her mom was ostracized by the family:

My aunt was the youngest of 5 children, being the youngest she was always doted on. My grandparents are hard workers(still didn’t retire in their 70s). They put all their kids through college. When my aunt used her college fund to start a bakery. Instead of cutting her off like they threatened to do with the other kids, they actually were happy for her and supported.

Obviously this strained the relationship with the other siblings but they still loved each other.

Now initially the bakery was a success, I'm not too aware of all the details either. What I do know, is that come the 2008 financial crisis, things weren’t looking too good, and to avoid bankruptcy my aunt took loans from some loan sharks.

Long story short. It wasn’t pretty, and my family had to go through some difficulties to help out my aunt, the police also got involved.

After that, the relationship between siblings got incredibly strained, they really wanted nothing to do with her. And my grandparents decided that my aunt would have to figure out how to pay the remaining debt (to banks, not the sharks) herself. But they always treated my cousin properly.

After telling her this my cousin froze, her first reaction was to go ask her mom, hoping it wasn’t true.

Her mom froze, started crying, pretty much an admission of guilt.

Then all hell broke loose, screaming and shouting. Calls to the rest of the family.

Now I’m the asshole.

I’m so sick of the planned incompetence. Layers and layers of customer service reps who are intentionally ill-equipped to make it right for the customer. Burn it all down. I’d happily skip flying for a few years to see the industry suffer.

My wife and I(34) have three children ages 7, 4 a 9 month old. I work a demanding job(in the medical field) and work many many hours, my wife not so much but she does have night shifts often. We just got a new babysitter a few months ago after our one we had for 2 years moved for college. Our new babysitter is only 16, but she had been babysitting one of my coworkers children for awhile and I trust him.

A few nights ago my wife and I were both working nights and I saw on the camera that our babysitter was asleep on the couch and the baby had woken up was crying for almost 30 minutes while she slept. That bothered me, so without talking to my wife when I got home in the morning I had told my babysitter maybe she should set alarms throughout the night to make sure she’s awake since the baby monitor didn’t wake her and that it was not okay for her to leave the baby crying like that.

I guess it hurt the kids feelings because she mentioned it to my wife and my wife is really upset with me because “she’s only 16” and what I was asking is unreasonable and that this has never happened before so again I’m being unreasonable and that I should’ve talked to her first because this could’ve been a “learning experience.” She also said I was completely out of line as well. I’m really not worried about a learning experience but am worried about the fact if my children are cared for properly. Aita?

We were going camping 40 years ago. We had a pop up trailer with a built in mini fridge with a sink and cook top. My dad said, "put these beers in the fridge."

I took the beers. I don't remember exactly, but I think it was a 12 pack of long neck glass bottles. I opened the fridge and put the beers in. They didn't all fit. I put them all upright. I guaranteed that the door could close and that none would fall out when you opened the fridge. There were some in the door where condiments go. It was pretty full. I reported back.

They were angry when they heard that they didn't all fit. They commanded that I go back and put ALL the beers in the fridge and not to come back until that was done.

Could the beers be on their side with the fridge door still closing and I could stack them up? No. Could I put beers that are upside down with the beers that are right side up? It wasn't stable. I worked at it for a while since I didn't have a time limit. I like geometry. I'm good at math. I like puzzles. Still, it could not be done. I was satisfied that volume of the beer challenged the volume of the fridge and that there were possible alternative unstable stacking methods that could get some more bottles in there, but woe to anyone who opened the fridge because the cascade of beers would be impressive. Feeling confident I reported back that the request could not be done.

They were enraged. It strikes my adult self that I should have just reported victory and hid the other beers somewhere else in the camper until there was room in the fridge. Maybe I should have drank the ones that didn't fit... I was young though. Didn't think of that. They were so mad. I had to go back and fit them ALL in the fridge.

Okay then. I went for an unstable arrangement of beers and worked at it for sometime until I could just slam the door closed in time to form a seal.

Eventually they opened the boobytrapped door. The camper was not level. As the door opened the beers all rolled out of the fridge in a rush for the open door of the camper like salmon jumping free when the dam is released, but they crashed in pools of broken glass and beer on rocks. My dad caught a few like an Alaskan bear on the river. He got like two in each mitt.

I expected to be yelled at again, but no. Strangely the worst of it was reporting the news that they didn't fit and not the aftermath of the great beer migration.

(On mobile) You can probably guess where this is going by the title.

I myself have heard plenty of stories about inattentive shoppers just leaving their carts smack dab in the middle of Walmart parking lots or (even worse) right behind cars.

Well I just witnessed my first of these not-quite-rare breeds. The woman had unceremoniously shoved the cart off to the side as she went inside her vehicle. While it wasn’t left behind my car specifically, I felt a civil duty to fight for those who couldn’t and I casually pulled the cart into place behind the offending car as I walked by.

Now I wasn’t trying to hide it exactly, and I was half expecting to be yelled at for it, but I didn’t hear a word. It was as I placed my own goods in my car a couple spots down that I heard a small bang and rattle of a cart being pushed.

She had backed into the cart.

It wasn’t nearly hard enough to cause any real damage, maybe a scratch if she was especially unlucky, but it was still better “revenge” than I was expecting lol. Please put your carts back people.

I have a severe onion allergy and my inlaws have accidentally gotten me sick several times. They tend to not read ingredients on condiments, stock and seasoning mixed. They'll tell me it's safe and when I ask what they used and read the ingredients they tend to apologize when they realize they tried to feed me something I'm allergic to. I do this because I trusted their judgement and got sick. I can take an allergy pill but I still end up wheezy and I'll gave gastrointestinal issues all week. Last night my FIL shooed me out of the kitchen when he was cooking onions so I didn't see he fried veggies in one pan and used the same utensil on both. I woke up very sick. I told my husband I don't want to eat there anymore and he told me I'm overthinking and over reacting and to just tell them so they could be more careful next time. My FIL even joked last night about being careful so I didn't get sick and they even made me a seperate salad but at the same time my allergy has been known for over a year and I've told them time and time again that I'm venerable to cross contamination and that if they don't want to cook with onions or if they are unsure the food is safe I don't mind cooking for myself but they rejected that offer and insist I eat their cooking.

Once again my husband is downplaying the impact it has on me to be this sick. I already have IBS and have been loosing weight due to it so I don't want to risk being sick. I'm considering going to urgent care because I'm dehydrated and I can't stay hydrated no matter how much I drink.

I'm feeling like I'm being such a baby about this. AITA for expecting them to change how they cook so much to accomodate me.

So I am in an interracial relationship (I’m Black and She’s White). The other day my girlfriend’s niece asked me to go to her school’s father-daughter lunch. Her father lives out of state and her uncle is unavailable. I thought it was sweet.

I told her I’d think about it. My girlfriend asked why I did not say yes and I told her I'm worried about being a black man, going to a preschool alone, where the teachers don’t know me, for a little white girl.

She was taken aback by my response and told me she was disappointed that I was using my race as an excuse. I told her, “I could easily be seen as a threat, especially at a school with no black kids in her class.”

I could be overthinking this and leaving this little girl alone at her lunch while her friends have their Dads. So AITAH?

——————————— Update: Thank you everyone for your responses! I read every comment and took some things to heart.

First, I decided to go to the lunch and communicate with her Mom so the school could know I am coming.

Second, I talked with my girlfriend about her “disappointment” (I showed her the post). I told her I was not expecting trouble but I was wary of concerned parents who don't know me questioning my presence or even calling the cops in front of her niece.

I compared my anxiety over the situation to her going to get gas for her car at night. She knows nothing will probably happen but is aware of the danger due to her existing as a woman.

Third, I understand that there was some confusion about my post. I didn’t outright say “no” to my girlfriend’s niece. I told her that “I would think about it”. Though I was leaning toward not going.

Lastly, thank you everyone for your perspective. I appreciate it. 🙏🏾

I (22F) have been saving my baby items from when I was young. This ranges from clothing, blankets, bibs, bottles, decor, crib bedding, and other miscellaneous items. I had it all in boxes in my closet -- some decor I had displayed in my room. I have sentimental attachment to it and want to pass it down to my children in hopes of it being a family heirloom one day.

My sister (26F) had her first child, my niece. I love my sister and her little family. I adore and love my niece and I've gotten a few baby items or toys for her as well.

When I returned home from university, i noticed that the decor I had displayed was gone. I asked my mom about it and she said my sister saw the decor and she told her to take it. I told her that I was saving it for my future children and my mom just denyed that it was valuable to me.

Regardless, I didn't want to argue with her about it. I went back to my room and saw that all of my boxes were gone as well. I call my sister to confirm and yes, she had taken everything. I tried to be reasonable and I told her, "i'd like everything back once you're done with it." My sister got very angry at me, saying that it was hers now and she plans to use it for her other children - and then pass it down. I told her that this was all MY baby stuff and if she wanted heirlooms, she should have saved her own baby items. Her argument was that she never planned on having children so she didn't save anything, mom gave her the stuff so now it's hers, and that I should just deal with it because "if it was so important, why didn't you take it with you (to college)?"

At this point, i felt like i was arguing with a brick wall. I demanded my stuff back immediately and said I'd go over to her house and get it back myself. I tried to be nice and let her use it until my niece grew out of it but she just doesn't want to give it back at all. She told my mom and my mom yelled at me saying that technically, all of my baby items are my mom's possessions since she purchased them, thus my mom has every right to give to whoever she pleases. My mom and sister also claim that i'm lying about these items being valuable to me and im just saying that to be rude.

Mom, sister, and BIL say I'm in the wrong, my dad isn't getting into it, my others siblings are minors (below 10 y/o) so i'm not taking their opinions seriously. Basically the entire family is against me and I don't know what to do. I do know that my sister isn't well off but I did offer her to keep the items for now but that wasn't enough for her. AITA?

tl;dr: My mom gave my older sister (26F) all of my (22F) baby items that I was saving for my future children while I was at university. My sister refuses to ever give them back.

EDIT: i wanted to add some clarifications due to comments. my mom saved our things (as well as my younger siblings) and we all have them in our closets. those items were mainly clothing and bedding. when my sister moved out, she was sorting through things and decided she didn't need them. her reasoning (to my understanding) being she didn't plan on having children. ever since she was a teen she said she didn't want children. so she decided to donate them all, she was maybe 23 or 24 when she moved out so it wasn't that long ago and imo, she was grown enough to see the impact of that. we have a younger sister and she didn't take her things 1. bc my mom didn't let her and 2. bc my things are closer to the time my sister was born in and she wanted more older style items rather than modern.

however, a lot of the items - such as toys or decor - were used on my room until i did a remodel of my room in my teens. those items were my decision to save. also the bottles and bibs were in the back of the kitchen storage which i also decided to save once i was older. my mom does take the credit for saving clothing and bedding and some blankets, but some of it was my decision to save as well (other blankets, decor, bottles, toys, etc)

Also, i still live at home. i go to university out of state so i live on campus during the school year and come home during breaks. my room is still mine until i move out, which is hopefully soon once i graduate in december.

EDIT 2: i am mexican so a lot of the items are culturally significant. my bibs were not regular bibs you can buy at walmart, they have cultural significance. the bottles are glass and the nipples have been removed. some of the blankets (and bibs) even have my name embroidered. i'm not sure what my sister is doing with those items - or if she will remove my name and put my nieces name over the top. i know it might seem silly to pass down these items to my kids but i have that sentiment and that was my plan for years now.

I’m the only one in my friend group with a car. I agreed to drive us to the camp site which is about 200 km away provided they pay for gas, which of course everyone had an issue with. I told them it’ll cost $60 at least to cover 400 km, one of my friend says “nah man your car is pretty fuel efficient, it’ll cost $40 max. We’ll all chip in when you fill the pump”. Whatever, I didn’t want to make this all about money and agreed on $40.

Anyways we start the trip and one of them opens the window and another one opens my sunroof, I closed them down and enabled child locks. They complained, but I told them I’m driving 120 kmh and it’s annoying to drive with the wind noise. Then they started messing with my radio, I was just playing the radio and one of them asked for the aux and played his songs. I didn’t mind but he turned the volume to near max which was extremely annoying and distracting. I told him to lower it down, he replied with “You’re just driving straight. Relax bro”. One of them remarks “he, why are you always looking at me? You don’t trust me or something haha”. Of course he doesn’t drive and mistakes me checking my left blind spot to checking on him.

And finally, one of them asks “hey bro can I smoke?”. I said “absolutely not, wait until we are at the pit stop. It’s only 20 km away”. He says “Wow you’re so controlling, once I get my own car I won’t be a dictator”. Of course he doesn’t listen as usual and lits one up. At that point I had enough. I pulled off the closest exit and kicked them out at some random rural highway. I told them “we’re done, you guys are fuckin idiots. Don’t contact me again”.

Apparently there was no service and had to walk for 5 hours to the nearest town and paid over $500 to get back home.

A couple days ago friends and family threw me a surprise party after reaching a big milestone in my life. Everyone close to me was there, even my boyfriend. Half way through the night, he pulled me aside a said he wanted to show me something, he rolled up his sleeve and revealed a tattoo of my eyes on his arm.

Everyone around us was amazed and impressed by his romantic surprise. I felt discomfort despite his good intentions. I don’t hate tattoos, however our relationship is still new at 3 months and the permanent gesture caught me off guard.

When I expressed my distaste for the tattoo, tension rose between us, and I eventually yelled at him to leave the party infront of all the guests. He left and communication between us has been limited to a few texts since.

He’s saying that because it’s his body, he can do what he wants with it and that I shouldn’t have embarrassed him like that. He didn’t tell me beforehand because he wanted to leave it a surprise. Most of my friends and family are saying I was being unfair and should have just appreciated that he got a tattoo of me.

So Reddit, AITA?

EDIT: The tattoo itself is very detailed, it has my eyebrows, the scar I have near my eye, also a mole that I have. It’s very distinctly me. Around the eyes is a border and on the bottom side, it has my name intergrated in it. It’s very small but present.

So I’m the oldest of 4 siblings, and was adopted so I’ve always had a bit of a chip on my shoulder about rejection etc so I realize I can go out to my way to be overly sensitive about stuff.

That being said my younger brother has always had it a bit easier, he got more support, more opportunities and was generally more entitled and arrogant about things. He’s gotten a lot better lately but growing up he was incredibly cheap and always made me and other siblings pay lions share of vacations etc. And somehow he would get the best room in the Airbnb. It kept happening and got very annoying. He would also “have problems with his card” a lot when bills would come at restaurants. And was very argumentative about money to the point it was embarrassing and we would just pay for him and his family. For years.

We are all from New Zealand so in the Christmas vacation we all go back home to Mums house and all stay together. Mum and her husband are nice people but cow-tow A LOT to my brother.

So what happens every Xmas is my brother and sisters and their families travel from different parts of NZ or Australia and stay in the house. Whereby I have to come all the way from the US, which is a 18-25hr ordeal with family. At the end of this long flight and travel from airport we are shown to a cramped camper at the back of the property as all the bedrooms have been taken up by my brother and sisters and their families. This happens every year without fail. I try to make a joke out of it but deep dowt it kind of makes me feel like a second class citizen. It doesn’t even have AC so it makes it tough to sleep on warm nights, not helping with the resentful chip on my shoulder.

So to the petty revenge.

Recently my Mum has been expressing interest in coming with her husband to visit me in the US during the summer here (winter in NZ). Some of my siblings are also chiming in saying they’d love to come visit too.

I’ve been very lucky here and my business has worked well so I managed to get a relatively nice house about 45 mins out of the city on a big section with pool etc. They are expecting of course to stay in the house like normal people.

But no, I drove 6 hours to rural PA to pick up a tiny vintage camper off FB marketplace, flattened out some land, landscaped around it with a nice (little) deck, ran power and water to it, unlike them I hooked up an AC.

Now when any of my family come visit, they get to stay out in the camper. I can’t wait for them to see it.