r/socialskills

im asian, and we don’t normally ask that 😂. even if we do, usually its between friends and supposed to show genuine intention to want to know how you are doing. even if not answered honestly, its a way to start the conversation going.

i’ve been in the uk/europe for the past half a year and always meet ppl whom i barely know who ask this question. it might be ppl that im meeting for the first time at school, baristas, service crew, etc. how are you supposed to answer this question, and what is the purpose of asking this instead of just saying hi and taking your order, for example?

Ever since meeting my in laws overseas, I keep getting told that. In fact that was the first thing I was told when I landed from the airport.

“Wow, you’re actually better than what we thought you’d look like in the pictures.”

Stunned. Dazed. “just wow. We thought you’d look much different.”

lol Gee thanks so much, you all made me feel like you saw me as a silverback gorilla from these photos you’ve seen of me. 😟 Or as if they all whispered “how ugly is she, damn” when they saw them, only to realize I’m maybe not that hideous ?

I just reply “heh thanks” but I wish I replied “gee was I that hideous? Haha”

Idk how to not be offended. Can anyone advise me how to just brush this off?

My question is pretty much the title, when I go out and I got few drinks (just untul being a little tipsy, not drunk) I feel like social interactions are way easier and I finish by connecting with people very well, I know how to make jokes, I know when to speak, things that I don’t control very well in my normal state. The point is that I would like to be the person I’am when I’m tipsy without drinking because in normal life I have a hard time connecting with ppl and making new friends. Do you have any tips?