I was honest with her about the struggles I was experiencing in life.
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Locked down on going to the gym, meal prepping, to help bring back my confidence and strength. I found out I can’t lose weight naturally, and it was discouraging. Been trying to find a doctor that will help, but that has also been discouraging. I only have Medicaid, so not much coverage.
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I applied back to college, family hasn’t been as supportive as I hoped they’d be. It’s been an emotional time for me as the reason I dropped out was because my Mom attempted suicide twice during my sophomore year - her alcoholism was getting significantly worse (would find her on the floor when I’d come home).
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My Mom’s alcoholism has changed my brain chemistry more than I thought it would. I constantly worry about her because she still drinks heavily, chain smokes, and I almost lost her last year. I’m heavily considering cutting her and my Dad out of my life this year and it’s also something that has been weighing on me heavily.
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Trying to find a new medicine to aid my ADHD. Been trying to find a psychologist to test me for ADHD - once again, hit a wall. Due to Medicaid. I’m exploring meds that treat ADHD, without having the diagnosis. It’s been difficult to do things all over again, (due to depression, anxiety and PTSD) and it’s been frustrating.
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I was open with her about my financial struggles, and how going to school means earning even less (I make 13 dollars an hour).
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She thought that I had put my boyfriend on a pedestal, when in reality I was taking so much time trying to focus on my health, my financial responsibilities, and my mental health that I was barely seeing my boyfriend even though we lived together. I couldn’t get through to her no matter how much I explained.
Then, most of all - about the friend group that we were involved in. I never felt accepted there, and quite uncomfortable. There were many times that they disrespected me, and excluded me from events, and I never bothered to say anything. If you want to look at that post explaining the things they did, here it is.
She wasn’t very happy with me, but I spoke my truth and I’m not sorry about it. She cussed me out again, and honestly, it’s been a really hard day. I told her that I would never imagine throwing dirt onto her name, and that I meant every well wish that I told her in my last text. In the last text I told her and her fiancé how I hoped that they had a beautiful wedding, and a life together, that she deserved the world, that I was forever thankful for the friendship we shared. I told her I respected her decisions and wouldn’t disrespect her. Then, I told her since seeing the repost she made (it was a TikTok video that was talking about how happy she was to cut her friend out of her life) I was going to take the hint. If you want to see the post I made originally about dropping my MOH title, it’s in the beginning of the post. I’m on mobile and it won’t let me edit unfortunately.
I told my boyfriend about this, and his exact words were, “This all seems very intentional. As if she didn’t want you to be there herself.” Which hurt to hear, but in reality, looking at it from the outside I come to the same conclusion. I partially dropped my MOH title because of the situation with the friend group, I was afraid I wouldn’t meet her expectations during this time of my life (and also she never communicated to me her expectations at all). I did this four months before her wedding because I didn’t want to inconvenience her more by making this decision at a later time. It wasn’t easy, and I’ve been crying for days. Maybe this is part of the journey back to myself?
She also proceeded to message my boyfriend after I blocked her, called me a “fucking pussy” and disregarded all the times the friend group blatantly disrespected me/made me feel unwelcome. I don’t really care at this point, she’s hated every person in the group one point or another. It’s inevitable that another person will be removed because she hates them too.
