Last weekend, I attended my brother’s college graduation. After the ceremony, I found the rear of my trunk had been hit. The other driver was still there. She was an 18 year old who was crying hysterically while her mom tried to calm her down. The girl apologized profusely and said she had overestimated how much room she had to back out and hit my car. I wasn’t upset because mistakes happen. I asked if she had insurance and she was too worked up to answer. So, I turned to her mom and she said yes, they’d go get it as well as call the police so there could be an official report for the insurance company. Cool. The girl was still really worked up. I told her, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I’m not upset and accidents happen.

She’s still a mess when the cops show up. I found this a little overdramatic and admittedly rolled my eyes. I obviously don’t know this girl but it was beginning to feel like she was trying to manipulate her way out of trouble-even though the cop and I both said these things happen and that the insurance would likely take care of it. Eventually, the police left. I told the girl to calm down, it’s over and stop being dramatic. Then, I got in my car and was ready to leave.

My sister was with me the whole time. She told me I was unnecessarily mean to the girl. I said she was being overdramatic for no reason, especially as no one yelled at her the entire time. My sister pointed out this girl is likely a new driver, probably worried she ruined whoever she was there to celebrate, etc. Plus, she’s probably worried about her rates going up. Or maybe she has anxiety or whatever. Even if she was trying to manipulate with tears, I didn’t “have to be a dick”. I shrugged it off and let it go. So far, her insurance has been cooperative and it seems this will all be resolved rather quickly.

The subject came up at the party we had for my brother. Most of my family thought I was being a dick. Though some agreed she needed to calm down. AITA?

Using a throwaway account. My brother and his wife are expecting their first child this summer. My sister-in-law is from a different country and her first trimester was not easy and I know that she misses her family a lot. Her parents are planning to stay with them for a year when the baby is born (with a quick trip home in between so they don’t overstay their visa). She was thrilled that they could do this.

She recently asked if her sister and her sister’s family (husband and two children under the age of 6) could also come out with her parents and stay with me because they won’t all fit at their house. But she wants them to stay for 6 months. I asked if maybe they could do 2-3 weeks or even a month but she wasn’t happy about that at all because she really wants her sister to be here to help too.

AITA for thinking that this is unreasonable and feeling imposed upon? Her family would not be able to drive and I live 30 minutes away from my brother and I work so I wouldn’t be able to drive them to see her every day and I don’t think my brother will have time to pick them up every day.

Technically I have the space. But I like my quiet time and having four people that I’ve never met stay with me for six months feels overwhelming. They don’t speak English so it would also be a little awkward in the beginning, I think. The plan is to homeschool the older child while they’re here (the younger one isn’t school age yet). I don’t fully understand the husband’s job but apparently he’s able to do it remotely. That would mean he’s on calls and video meetings in the middle of the night though.

I understand that it’s hard to have a baby so far from your family and I want to be supportive of my sister in law. I’ve been firm in my stance that a 6 month visit is too long but she’s pretty upset with me and her and my brother haven’t been speaking to me for a couple of weeks now so I’m wondering if I’m just being cruel or selfish here.

EDIT: thank you so much everyone for your comments and for helping me to feel much better that I was not being unreasonable. I’m reading through all the comments but wanted to reply to a few ideas that many had shared.

1. My brother and SIL cannot afford a short-term rental, nor can her family. But beyond that, in her culture, it would be considered rude to put them up somewhere else if family can accommodate them. I believe they briefly looked at AirBNBs and short-term rentals but in addition to the expense, her family’s lack of permanent status for that long of a stay might have been a concern for some (not sure of exact details or convos and maybe they just told me that to make it seem like they had no other option) but bottom line, they can’t afford it

2. Thank you to all who pointed out some of the potential legal issues with the husband working remotely here on a tourist visa, and the sticky situations that could come out of being here for so long. I had not considered that and I really appreciate the advice

3. If she were to go back to her home country with the baby instead of everyone coming here, my brother could only stay for a few weeks. And ironically, her family doesn’t have room for them to stay with them