Stories & Confessions

We were visiting a good friend of mine when he moved out of state. He brought me to his bedroom closet to show me an ar15 and handgun he purchased after moving. I handled both guns after checking they were unloaded and I knew they were safe.

My girlfriend walks into the room and he hands the ar15 to her (she does not check it to affirm it is indeed clear) and the first thing she does is point it directly in my face. I slapped the barrel down and said "what the fuck are you doing?!?" In an aggressive tone. She then handed my friend his rifle back and stormed out of the room.

She didn't like the fact I aggressively chastised her for ignoring basic gun safety. She told me "you didn't have to talk to me like I'm stupid" and didn't understand my point wasn't to make her feel stupid but that action is dangerous especially since she was not in the room to witness it being checked for live ammunition, and she did not check the gun herself.

Am I wrong for aggressively chastising her? Or should I have been nicer?

Me and my boyfriend got in a huge fight today over the stupidest thing. I was telling him about this girl I follow on TikTok and her boyfriend who is a black Cuban man. My boyfriend went on to insist that he can’t be black if he’s Cuban. I said, “No he’s definitely both black and Cuban.” I went on to explain that black people live all over the world and not just in America. He argued that yes that’s technically true, but when people think of “black people” they only think of black Americans. I told him that’s an incredibly small mindset and not everyone is so American-centric in their thinking. He insisted that was incorrect. The thing is, he is black and I am white. And he was saying that I could never understand what a black person is because I’ll never be black. So this leaves me confused and wondering, AITAH for saying black people can be from other countries besides America?

Well, well, well...this was all a fantastic waste of time

This is full of stupid information that doesn't matter so hears what happened condensed.

It took me way longer than it should have to realize I should actually call someone who saw her behavior when she left firsthand. I called one of her brothers. I basically word vomited and relayed the whole story, and asked what they can verify. They could not

What ACTUALLY happened...she started having an affair with a coworker roughly 4 moths before she got pregnant, he gave her the AP spiel about how he was better and she should go with him when she got pregant. She immediately gets it in her head to abuse me (usual affair crap) eventually wanting to run off with him (the day she left she DID stay at her mother's, but had all the intention to move in with him after giving birth). Before she delivers, she owns up and tells her family everything. My MIL and bils couldn't care at the time. They may not be crazy but they still didn't like me and from what she was selling to them about her AP they liked him. AP was at the birth, high and tried to start a fight with them. By then wife already did a paternity test and it was his. AP then disappears and she realizes she's fucked. We have a solid prenuptial and my house is premarital plus we live in an at fault state. Around that time is when I called her out and split finances. She was deep in a hole with no way out. And in her mind pitching a drama show about her family to me made sense to get me on her side

What was the plan for my paternity test? I don't know

What was she planning for whenever I interacted with family again? I don't know

Why did her family go along with it? I don't know

How was she ever going to make up for abuse? I don't know

Is there any truth to her tale about her mother? I have no idea. I don't care at this point

This whole problem was a desperate person and her toxic family gambling everything on a no show and only when they had burned all bridges with me did they try and reconnect. I'm glad I called the brother who had any decency to own up to their nonsense

He realized how in deep he was and that his sister didn't help with that, and hes finally done with his familys crap and wants to get away. He gave me a copy of the paternity test she gave to him. He sent dozens of messages she had with him and the family in a group chat. I have enough proof for my lawyer to bury her.

I texted her and told her I knew everything. She's been messaging me relentlessly with the most vile things she can say. I'm just forwarding it all to my lawyer

I'm still in awe to how she tried to pull a last resort manipulation tactic with the story about her family it's actually kind of disturbing. But that doesn't really concern me now. Locks are changed, finances are already separated, I'm not oj the birth certificate and my divorce is getting ready to start. Probably will have no updates for a long time. Divorces take way longer than Reddit makes it seem like

In any way, this was the best case scenario and im actually giddy that I have a clean break. Huge sigh of relief. She could have at least told me the truth and spared the pointless drama update lol

Using a throwaway account. My brother and his wife are expecting their first child this summer. My sister-in-law is from a different country and her first trimester was not easy and I know that she misses her family a lot. Her parents are planning to stay with them for a year when the baby is born (with a quick trip home in between so they don’t overstay their visa). She was thrilled that they could do this.

She recently asked if her sister and her sister’s family (husband and two children under the age of 6) could also come out with her parents and stay with me because they won’t all fit at their house. But she wants them to stay for 6 months. I asked if maybe they could do 2-3 weeks or even a month but she wasn’t happy about that at all because she really wants her sister to be here to help too.

AITA for thinking that this is unreasonable and feeling imposed upon? Her family would not be able to drive and I live 30 minutes away from my brother and I work so I wouldn’t be able to drive them to see her every day and I don’t think my brother will have time to pick them up every day.

Technically I have the space. But I like my quiet time and having four people that I’ve never met stay with me for six months feels overwhelming. They don’t speak English so it would also be a little awkward in the beginning, I think. The plan is to homeschool the older child while they’re here (the younger one isn’t school age yet). I don’t fully understand the husband’s job but apparently he’s able to do it remotely. That would mean he’s on calls and video meetings in the middle of the night though.

I understand that it’s hard to have a baby so far from your family and I want to be supportive of my sister in law. I’ve been firm in my stance that a 6 month visit is too long but she’s pretty upset with me and her and my brother haven’t been speaking to me for a couple of weeks now so I’m wondering if I’m just being cruel or selfish here.

EDIT: thank you so much everyone for your comments and for helping me to feel much better that I was not being unreasonable. I’m reading through all the comments but wanted to reply to a few ideas that many had shared.

1. My brother and SIL cannot afford a short-term rental, nor can her family. But beyond that, in her culture, it would be considered rude to put them up somewhere else if family can accommodate them. I believe they briefly looked at AirBNBs and short-term rentals but in addition to the expense, her family’s lack of permanent status for that long of a stay might have been a concern for some (not sure of exact details or convos and maybe they just told me that to make it seem like they had no other option) but bottom line, they can’t afford it

2. Thank you to all who pointed out some of the potential legal issues with the husband working remotely here on a tourist visa, and the sticky situations that could come out of being here for so long. I had not considered that and I really appreciate the advice

3. If she were to go back to her home country with the baby instead of everyone coming here, my brother could only stay for a few weeks. And ironically, her family doesn’t have room for them to stay with them

I worked for a popular fast food company, I won't say the name, but it can be recognized by the sound of a single "Bong!" In its jingle. Anyway we are required to wear company brand shirts and must display the company logo on our bodies somewhere. Enter morning shift boss, I almost never see anybody from morning shift as I either evening or closing, but due to lays offs we needed a closing manger. He is incredibly nitpicky and hypocritical, and only invokes the rules when it's convenient for him. Any way my attire that never got any write ups or talks was a company shirt, company hat, an apron, and jeans. MS boss walks up to me and talks ro me about the dress code and my "violations". Apparently the rim of the shirt was too low, my apron wasn't allowed to have pockets, but the thing that really set him off was my jeans, he said I can't have them cuffed, and I either have to cut them to size or get new jeans that fit. I tried to explain to him that I have very wide hips and jeans of my waist size are usually meant for big and TALL people and I couldn't find any jeans anywhere that had my leg length, he said "just cut them then". Later that week he made everyone sign a pamphlet that basically says "I understand the dress code and will follow it or face repercussions", fortunately this pamphlet had the company dress code written in the text. Everyone else just signed their name and moved on, but I took the pamphlet into the back office and took the time to read the WHOLE thing. My boss came in and wondered why I wasn't working, I told him "my father told me to never sign things without reading the terms first" "Just sign it" he replied "I will, I just want to know what im signing my soul over for first is all". I'm guessing he thought what I said was funny as he chuckled and walked away. But then I saw it, my saving grace, "Only dark blue denim, black jeans or black pants, solid in color, are approved to wear as your [Company] uniform. Pants and jeans should not touch the ground, have holes, fading, embellishments, or light washes" that's everything the dress code said about jeans it said nothing that i wasn't allowed to cuff them. AND it did say I HAVE to wear a company apron too (which dont have pockets), but is never said anything I can't wear more than one apron. I proudly signed the pamphlet saying i fully understand the dress code, and i saw that my boss was the first person to sign it too. The next day I came to work with my jeans cuffed, my company apron on, but I wore it backwards and my usual apron on regularly, and I did tuck in my shirt as, that was dress code. A few coworkers wondered why I had two aprons and still cuffed my jeans, I just told them "Everything I'm wearing is to the letter, up to dress code". When my boss finally called me into the office and said I would receive a write up for insubordination and dresscode violation, I told him "Nuh-uh [cheeky finger wag], everything I am wearing is up to code, I thought you knew that, you signed it too I assume you took the time to read the terms of the dress code too?"

He got the pamphlet out and started reading the terms and I could see him looking at my jeans, and back at the pamphlet, then back at me, then my apron, then the paper again. "Is there anything that violates the dress code?" "...no" he replied

"Well then a write up would be unnecessary then for me, but I would like to point out that the dress code specifically prohibits holes in attire. And I think I see a hole right there on your shirt. And also it says pants can not touch the floor and you pants is down by your heels sir, I can see some dirt and a stray piece of lettuce on the rim of your pant leg". He looked and saw, then he shimmied his pants higher, up to his belly button

"You know, if they're too long, you can just cuff them" and then I promptly left Felt pretty proud of myself for that, my boss never came to me about dress code after that

Last weekend, I attended my brother’s college graduation. After the ceremony, I found the rear of my trunk had been hit. The other driver was still there. She was an 18 year old who was crying hysterically while her mom tried to calm her down. The girl apologized profusely and said she had overestimated how much room she had to back out and hit my car. I wasn’t upset because mistakes happen. I asked if she had insurance and she was too worked up to answer. So, I turned to her mom and she said yes, they’d go get it as well as call the police so there could be an official report for the insurance company. Cool. The girl was still really worked up. I told her, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I’m not upset and accidents happen.

She’s still a mess when the cops show up. I found this a little overdramatic and admittedly rolled my eyes. I obviously don’t know this girl but it was beginning to feel like she was trying to manipulate her way out of trouble-even though the cop and I both said these things happen and that the insurance would likely take care of it. Eventually, the police left. I told the girl to calm down, it’s over and stop being dramatic. Then, I got in my car and was ready to leave.

My sister was with me the whole time. She told me I was unnecessarily mean to the girl. I said she was being overdramatic for no reason, especially as no one yelled at her the entire time. My sister pointed out this girl is likely a new driver, probably worried she ruined whoever she was there to celebrate, etc. Plus, she’s probably worried about her rates going up. Or maybe she has anxiety or whatever. Even if she was trying to manipulate with tears, I didn’t “have to be a dick”. I shrugged it off and let it go. So far, her insurance has been cooperative and it seems this will all be resolved rather quickly.

The subject came up at the party we had for my brother. Most of my family thought I was being a dick. Though some agreed she needed to calm down. AITA?

My parents are hosting extended family for a couple of weeks. It's my maternal and paternal grandparents as well as my aunt and uncle on my paternal side. It was going okay until last weekend when my parents brought up a topic of conversation that I (17m) am so tired of hearing and being pulled into.

So let me explain the non adoption and why it bugs me. My dad had a kid before he met my mom. My half sister (24f). My dad had primary custody of my half sister, her mom was in and out of her life. My parents met when my half sister was 2 and got married when she was 4. Her mom was in and out of prison, was on and off drugs and alcohol and she was really disruptive to my half sister's life and to my parents. She refused to stay away but refused to be a good mom too. When I was 2 or 3 her mom offered to walk away for good but only if they removed any chance that she could be sued for child support, etc. My mom was willing to adopt my half sister. The three adults wanted this to happen but because of my half sister's age, her wishes held a lot of weight and she didn't want my mom to adopt me, and it never happened. So her mom kept the back and forth for a few more years before giving up the relationship with my half sister completely. My parents were so upset that my half sister rejected having a stable and loving mom in my mom for a woman who even she admitted was so mean to her and didn't take good care of her. But my half sister never really liked my mom from what I witnessed.

It's a really big deal to my parents and I have grown up hearing about it way more than I need to. They told me details I didn't need to know, when I was too young to be hearing them, they would suck the fun out of things bringing it up. And I know they hold it against my half sister. They think my sisters (14f and 13f) and I do too but the lack of closeness has nothing to do with the not adoption and everything to do with our half sister not wanting to be close to us. I asked my parents to stop bringing it up around us a few times. They ignored me. Until they said they got it and would listen.

But last weekend my parents brought it up while family was over and I was so not wanting to hear about it so I got up in the middle of breakfast and left the house and didn't come back all day. My parents were so mad at me for that. I told them I couldn't listen to them talk about it again and they couldn't help themselves but I wasn't going to turn it into a fight to stop them. They told me walking out without permission is bad enough but when we have family here is disrespectful and they told me I'm old enough to know and do better. This was a sore point the whole week.

AITA?

TIFU I (39m) was contacted by an old coworker about some business issues. In the course of it, I let her know that I am not happy at my workplace and a lot of stuff went down after she left. She suggested we meet for happy hour the next day to catch up. I let my fiance know I was meeting a friend for happy hour. I did not tell her my friend was female.

I honestly don’t know why I didn’t tell fiance my friend is a female.

I go meet my friend, and we vent about all the same people we know. She tells me a lot of things I didn’t know. I picked up the tab after she offered to pay her portion because I knew she wasn’t in a good place financially.

I get home, and I tell my fiance I have some tea to tell her that my friend divulged. Fiance finds out my friend is a she and flips. Says I betrayed her and cheated on her. She’s telling everyone that I took another woman out to a fancy restaurant behind her back and is threatening to call off the wedding.

TL;DR: I went out for happy hour with an old female coworker but didn’t tell my fiance the old coworker is a female. Break-up imminent.

Edit: I explained in a comment that I let her read this thread. She took it upon herself to comment on this post. She’s trying to give you context. Not sure if it will change anyone’s mind, but I also commented on it.

I was at Home Depot earlier today making a quick run for some supplies for my current home renovation. I was picking up cement board and some various materials to trench power to a breakfast counter that will be installed in our kitchen.

I had one of the big wallboard carts that I was cruising around with, being careful and cautious of others the whole time, so the trip was a bit frustrating, as there is a lot of stopping and waiting to allow crowds to pass so I can safely maneuver without bumping into anyone or anything. It’s not a big deal and it was to be expected, but I’m only mentioning this part to set the stage that by the end of my 30 minute endeavor that could’ve been much quicker had I not needed this cart, I may have been in a different mindset by the time I got to the checkout.

So I have all my supplies and just need the cement board now, so I head on over to the wall board aisle. Funny enough it’s totally chaotic. There’s a middle aged guy, his elderly father, and late-20-something son and were loading Sheetrock in a way that was taking the whole width of the aisle, so I had to go down another aisle to get around them (I’d usually just bring my cart up against the stack and pull off the amount I need - it’s quite quick with multiple hand). Additionally, they had pulled two sheets down and let them land on a flat bed cart, which doesn’t work - it simply won’t fit. They had left that out in the middle of the aisle to get the more appropriate cart apparently.

I carefully move the flatbed off to the side so it’s out of the way of the aisle, and get to work with loading the cement board. I have a sheet in my hand and the youngest of that crew decides he needs to get somewhere quick and awkwardly walks really close behind me making it so I can’t maneuver the sheet onto my cart. No biggie I just hold it awkwardly till he passes, which was just another oddity that further set the stage for me. I finally finish and head over to the Pro check out.

I get over there and there’s two guys being rung out with a cart. The employee checking them out appears kinda newish. He’s a younger guy that seemed to be struggling with one of their items or something, but I wasn’t going to try to haul my cart full of 12 sheets of cement board over to a regular checkout and it wasn’t a big deal. So I wait patiently and these guys finally go to swipe their card and this is where things get spicy.

The dream team from the wall board aisle start walking up with a large cart of drywall they were struggling to work through in the aisle along with some additional items. The middle-aged guy awkwardly walks in front of me and takes ahold of the cart that was with the guys at checkout and it all clicks: that cart didn’t belong to the two guys at checkout.

The older guy brings his cart loaded with 12 sheets of Sheetrock and passive aggressively moves diagonally in front of me to cut me off. I’d like to think I’m a nice guy, but I was over it at this point. The middle-aged guy looks me in the eyes and I say, “Man, I like your style. I wasn’t aware we can reserve spots in line at the Pro checkout. I feel dumb having just stood here for 5 minutes.” He shrugs and says, “I was just here I had to get more things.” I shook my head and let it go.

The employee starts checking them out and goes through the first cart. He gets to the Sheetrock and asks, “How many is that? 6?” and the old guy immediately says, “Yes! 6!” Here’s the thing with Sheetrock: it’s always bought in bulk 99% of the time and it’s transported in pairs to keep it from easily snapping in transit. If you need to buy one you have to rip the tear strips off that bind them together, but they are rung up individually.

I let the employee get through the rest of the items and hit the total button so they could see what it came out to, then immediately pounced. “Excuse me sir!” They pause and the cashier turns to me. “You’re ringing out only six sheets of drywall, but there’s actually 12 there.” The old guy snaps at me, “They’re sold in pairs!” I look at him and respond, “No sir, you’re mistaken I can show you on the app that they’re definitely sold individually and the cashier can get confirmation of it from his supervisor if needed.” The middle aged guy looks at me again and I give him a big smile and say, “I’m sure it’s an honest mistake, but I’m glad I was here to help fix it.” The cashier adjusts his mistake and the bill goes up about $80. I gave them a smile as they left.

I'm 28F getting married in 2 months. My relationship with my father 56M has always been complicated. My parents divorced when I was ten and my father wasn't around much after that. He started a new family and I felt like I was no longer a priority. My mom raised me pretty much on her own.

As my wedding day approaches. My father has expressed how excited he is to walk me down the aisle. This is where things get complicated. My mom has been my constant support and I’ve always envisioned her walking me down the aisle. She was there for every important moment in my life while my dad was mostly absent.

I had a heart to heart with my father and told him how I felt. I explained that I wanted my mom to walk me down the aisle because she’s the one who’s always been there for me. My father was heartbroken and accused me of punishing him for the past. He said he thought we had moved past everything.

My siblings and some family members think I’m being too harsh and that I should let him have this moment. They believe it’s a chance for us to mend our relationship but I can’t shake off the feeling that my mom deserves this more than anyone. Now I’m torn. I don’t want to hurt my father but I also want to honor the person who’s been my unwavering support.

Edit: he never really apologized for anything. he just started showing up. He visits I let him in. He says something I respond and that's it.

Edit: for some that assumed my mom the reason I hate him(I don't). She never told me anything bad about him. I used to call/text him and no response. I drove 4 hours to try and have a heart to heart conversation with him when I was 19. And he told me and I quote "I don't know what's wrong with you but I'm sure therapy can help and I can pay for it" on my way back home he texted me one word "Sorry". And I never heard of him again until he showed up at my door when I turned 22.

+I'm not a native English speaker

My son passed away a year ago. He and my daughter in law were together for 30 years. Not legally married though. Their love was beautiful and his passing really hit her hard. Before he passed I didn’t have a will because I have two children and legally it would be divided 50-50 between them. My estate is not much but I have an apartment in a luxury neighborhood (got it before it became a luxury neighborhood) and some savings. Now my son is gone I made a will to include my daughter in law to be instead of him. My daughter was very angry about it and she threatened to cut me off her and her children’s life. I don’t want to change that. Aitah

I am not OP. That is who posted to and who posted to

May 18th, 2024

I (26M) proposed to my (24F) girlfriend of 6 years last month. She obviously said yes and we’ve been working on wedding details (ex: save the dates/invitations, venue, caterer…etc) since. We got to talking about who we would want in our wedding because she wanted to do a special “proposal” to her side of the wedding court, and she said she wanted to have her best friend since childhood be her “maid” of honor.

The thing is, her childhood best friend is a guy (24M). They lived on the same street when they were kids and have been friends since. My fiancée and I met in college and her friend was there too, so I’ve known him for as long as I’ve known her. At first I didn’t really like him because he was always hanging around her, but after she and I started dating and I was forced to be around him more I kinda started to tolerate him.

He and my fiancée saw each other a lot, but he and I have never really hung out one-on-one before. One time when we were left alone together he tried to get all tough and did the “if you ever break her heart i swear…” corny threat talk. He’s a small dude so it made me laugh more than intimidate me. After that I got the feeling this was a situation where he liked her but she didn’t know.

I asked my fiancée if she and him ever had feelings for each other, and she said no, then let me know he was gay. I’m not homophobic or anything, so it’s not like I don’t want him in the wedding because of that, it’s just that I think it would be better if her side of t party was all girls. She and him already did everything together, not including him in our wedding wouldn’t hurt their friendship.

I told her that and she got defensive, saying that if I could have a girl in my side of the party (the girl being my older sister who practically raised me), she could have a guy. I said that it was a different circumstance, and that I wouldn’t allow her best friend to be her man of honor. She got really mad and said it was her wedding too, then stormed out. I got a text from her sister a few hours later saying she had gone to her parents house and told them what I had said.

They thought I was being an asshole because I never liked her friend and am threatened by him. I have tried to talk to my fiancée since she left but she hasn’t returned my calls or texts. I really love her, and I don’t want to loose her. I just dont want her best friend to be a part of our day. AITA?

edit: It’s come to my attention in a previous comment I made, I have created the worlds thinnest argument. I said that my fiancée made was unwillingly to compromise on things such as the groomsmen’s neck pieces and blazers, and as such I was in the right to be unwilling to compromise about her best friend. I stated in a few other posts that there were other things she didn’t want to compromise on, and someone suggested I make a list so here it is:

1.) When we were deciding our wedding date and location, she wanted to do it in spring in an open field. I wasn’t onboard with this as I have terrible allergies and spring is when it’s at its worst. She shot down any alternative I gave her (alternatives being things done closer to summer or in summer) and said it was Spring or nothing. So we went with spring

2.) Instead of going with a DJ like I suggestion who could play a mix of her favorite, my favorite, and general upbeat dance music, she said that she really wanted a live band that specialized in her favorite genre. I asked if we could just give the DJ a longer list of her songs in her favorite genre and tell him to pick from the list often, but she said no and that a live band was going to be better. So we went with the band

3.) In my culture there is a few traditional wedding ceremonies that I wanted us to partake in. Some included a kind of “parade” that leads the groom and his family to the brides house where they present her and her family gifts, a hair cutting ceremony (I made sure to tell her her actual hair would NOT be cut), and finally a knot tying ceremony where the guests wish us a long happy marriage. She wanted absolutely nothing to do with these ceremonies, and said they would be too much time and effort, since it would be like having two weddings. I tried fighting for these more than the others, but she was firm on doing things traditionally.

4.) She wanted the groomsmen to wear bow ties and blazers even though I wanted the necktie and no blazer look

5.) She changed the color scheme from the originally agreed upon black, gold, maroon, and forest green to pink (or i think it was rose), yellow, white, and pastel blue because the decorations would look better in the field. When I said we already printed invitations with the previous colors on them, she said we could throw those out and get reprints.

Added Comments

Commenter

I really hope this is a rage bait post. To not be able to see the hypocrisy in having his sister (whom he’s known his whole life) on his side, but DEMAND that she not have her male best friend of decades on hers is absolutely insane. If I were the fiancé, I’d call the whole thing off because OP’s empathetic skills are clearly nonexistent.

OP

The difference is I’d be having legitimate family in my party. Somebody who, like I said, has practically raised me and has been there for me since birth who I want by my side. I know you can argue that her and her best friend are “technically” family with how long they’ve known each other, but that doesn’t actually make them family

Commenter

It’s her wedding as well so he is family to her. Don’t worry. You won’t have a fiancé anymore at this rate

OP

he’s not legitimate family, so it really doesn’t count. he can be included in her family section of the guests that doesn’t matter. but breaking it down and splitting the hairs, he’s not biologically family

Commenter

YTA. It’s obvious that you have a huge chip on your shoulder about your fiancé’s best friend just because he’s a guy, so now you’re using this “girls only” thing to get him out of the way. Also, “girls?” You’re not in high school going to prom. You’re getting married. They’re women. You’re sexist and jealous and seem way too immature to be getting married. I hope she sees you for what you are and gets away from you

OP

I don’t understand why everyone so hung up on my verbiage. Aren’t women also girls? Are they not one and the same? I’m not trying to get him out of the way for any sexist reason either. It’s just more traditional if she chooses all women to which she agreed upon in the past. She only started thinking about having him in her party after I said I wanted my sister

Commenter

Then why are you not traditional and picking only men for your party. Hypocritical much? Insecure and prob lost your fiancé. YTA

OP

i’m breaking the tradition for someone who is family. someone who has a right to be up their with me on one of the best days of my life

OP

if she had a brother and wished for him to be her man of honor i would agree in a heartbeat. breaking tradition for family i can understand but breaking it for a friend is a little much. im just not comfortable with that

May 19th, 2024

I (24F) was recently engaged to my (26M) fiancé after 6 years together. We got into a fight a couple of days ago because he wouldn’t let me ask my guy best friend (24M) who I’ve known since we were kids, be my man of honor. I ended up walking out and went to stay with my parents for a few days. I told them what happened and they agreed that he was way out of line.

I went back earlier today after I thought he had enough time to calm down and when I came home he looked glad to see me. He apologized for stepping out of line and I said it was fine and that we still had time to ask my best friend to be in the wedding. He kind of looked down then said that we should call everything off. This really surprised me and I immediately said no.

He then admitted that while I was gone he posted to about what had happened and that even though he was deemed the controlling AH, he also realized that I was one because I had basically hijacked the wedding planning. I asked how he could think that and he pointed out how I chose to have the wedding in spring even though that’s a bad time for him and that I changed up the wedding color scheme and what his groomsmen would be wearing without talking with him first.

I said that those were practically minor things and we didn’t have to call off the wedding for it. Then he said I was insensitive for rejecting his cultures traditional wedding ceremonies and didn’t even considering doing them. He had brought to my attention some traditional ceremonies people do at weddings in his culture, and while I appreciated him bringing it up to me, I decided against doing it because it wouldn’t fit the vibe of the traditional wedding I wanted.

I told him I only wanted to do a traditional American wedding and that he already agreed with me that that’s what we were doing. Then he said that me having my guy best friend be my best man was untraditional. I pointed out I let him have his sister be part of his wedding party because he wanted some part of his family included, and that since he was breaking the tradition so could I.

He got really sad and looked like he was about to cry and said that me breaking the tradition was like a slap in the face after I rejected his traditions, and that I just didn’t respect his culture at all. That is not the case at all I greatly respect his culture. I told him I understood how mean it sounded but it’s my wedding too so I get a say in what we do. He kind of laughed and got up and said he wanted to take a break and left.

I dont know what to do I don’t want to call off the wedding at all. I tried to find his reddit post but I think he was using a throw away, though granted I am too. I love him so much and I want to be with him for the rest of our lives. I don’t know how we’ll get through this.

Added comments

Commenter

I don't know if you two are compatible

OP

Up until this point I would have disagreed with you. When we met in college we were studying the same thing so we crossed paths often. We became friends and found we have a lot in common in terms of interests and lifestyle, and we had a great relationship up until the proposal. We’ve talked about marriage before and we seemed to be on the same page about a lot of things. I don’t know where it changed

Commenter

sounds like you are controlling and you. brushed off his complaints as no big deal. If the date, groomsmen outfit and color scheme are minor details, than they shouldn’t have been changed. Disregarding his family traditions is a major detail and if you are willing to disregard them for a wedding, how does he know you won’t for other events? The wedding is one day, if you don’t let him have a say in that, he’s right to take a break and reconsider.

OP

I understand where you’re coming from. I’ll be honest and tell you that I haven’t celebrated a lot of his cultural events besides New Years (he’s Cambodian and they celebrate their New Years in April I believe). He and his family had a falling out after he started dating me (his family didn’t approve of a foreigner), and only recently have they reconnected. His sister though was different she didn’t care I was American, and she stuck by his side as his only family member.

I guess I disregarded the traditions in the first place because he never immersed me in his culture enough because he kind of cut ties with that side of himself. I was uncomfortable with the idea of being surrounded by his family that doesn’t particularly like me during the ceremonies, as both his parents and my parents would be involved. I didn’t want to feel like an outsider on our wedding day

Commenter

I think your ex is right. You haven’t considered his preferences and in fact you minimize his requests (calling them “practically minor”) and aren’t respecting his cultural traditions. It sounds like you’re more interested in a wedding than an actual relationship and marriage.

OP

Of course I’m interested in the wedding. I’ve been dreaming of my own since I was a child. But I don’t value it more than I value my relationship with him. We didn’t get that far into the planning but for our honeymoon I was going to suggest going somewhere he and I have always talked about going to. We would have eventually gotten to a place where more of his ideas would be acdepted

commenter

Babes, you literally chose your wedding over your fiance. You broke up because of plans for the wedding. You broke up because you couldn't compromise anything you wanted for anything he wanted. 

You chose the wedding over the marriage. 

commenter

I read his post yesterday and yours today... YOU BOTH SUCK. I think he wouldn't have put up the stink about your male best friend being in your party if you hadn't been so controlling, but that's moot because you're incredibly controlling and don't understand/care.

You are selfish and self-centered. You seem to think only your tastes and desires matter for your wedding, forgetting that your groom is a person and not just a prop at your wedding. The fact that you even say "let him include his sister" is grounds to break up with you in my opinion.

Neither of you are mature enough to marry from the little bit you have each written. In both of your posts you both sound fairly unpleasant to be around but you are definitely the harsher of the two. He's a whiner and you are Attila the Hun. Both of you need to grow up and learn what's actually important in life: how to grow together.

Don't get married, mature first.

OP

do you happen to have the link? i’d like to read what he said

OP was linked to the original post and the amithedevil post

I am not the original poster. Please don't contact or comment on linked posts

So, last year, I moved to a new city and decided to have a little fun by faking an accent. I pretended to be from Australia, even though I’ve never even been there. It started as a joke with my new coworkers, but then it just stuck. Everyone loved it, and I got so much attention and even free drinks at the bar.

The problem is, I’m in way too deep now. My best friend here thinks I’m from Sydney, and I’ve been invited to a “homecoming” party when my “family” visits next month. I don’t know how to come clean without looking like a complete idiot or losing my friends. I wish I could turn back time and just be myself, but I’m stuck. Any advice on how to unravel this mess would be appreciated.

I love my wife but she has a really bad habit.

The second I open my mouth, her eyes glaze over and she just stops paying attention to me. It’s like she’s actively making the choice not to listen to me.

It’s been like this for a year now. It only used to be on occasion like if we were watching a movie or something and she was paying attention to the movie and not listening to what I was saying.

But now it’s all the time and she just isn’t listening even when I’m right in front of her talking to her and saying her name.

If I ask her a question, she won’t react. If I say “Are you listening?” She’ll ask me to repeat what I asked and then just answer the last question I asked.

It’s gotten really bad. We don’t have conversations anymore. The bills are paid and the chores are done and our kid is happy but it’s like having a roommate, not a partner.

I snooped, not because I thought she was cheating, but because I wanted to figure out if there was something else occupying her mind but I found nothing, no cheating, no credit card issues, no issues in general.

This morning I dropped a glass on the floor and I told her not to go into the kitchen because I was getting a pan to sweep up the glass. I came back with her picking glass shards out of her foot because she wasn’t paying attention.

I was extremely frustrated because I had told her and she just didn’t listen. I yelled at her that she wasn’t listening to what I said and she started doing the whole glazed eye thing where I know she’s not actively listening to me anymore.

I feel bad for yelling but I feel justified. AITAH?

My daughter is 17 and is currently in her senior year of high school. My husband and I have been saving up for her college since she was a newborn and we have almost $200,000 in the account. She recently told us that she doesn’t want to do the “traditional”route of going to a 4 year college straight out of high school, she wants to take some time off from education and get a job, and figure out if, or when at all, she wants to go to school. This was fine to me, I support her no matter what path she decides to take. However, she asked if we could give her the money because she wants to buy a new car amongst other things. I told her no, because if she does choose to eventually go to school, I still want there to be money left in the account, so I’m going to hold on to it for a bit longer. She says that she is entitled to the money because it was meant for her, and she should still be able to have it even if she doesn’t want to go to college. AITAH?

I'm on the verge of ending things with my boyfriend Garrett (26M) because he cheated on me. The crazy part is he did it for revenge. long story short he found out how many guys i've been with (i slept with 9 guys) which made him furious so he cheated on me. I guess he wanted to get payback?? keep in mind i've never cheated on him and all of those experiences happened before our relationship. A lot of those experiences were with my guy friends because i liked giving them sex when they were single, yes i was passed around but i wasn't in a relationship.

His argument is i never told him when we first got together, but he never asked me. I'm not gonna bring up the past randomly i figured dont ask dont tell. well maybe this was a mistake by me because he claims it's wayy too high for a girl. imo it's not even that high i know girls that are pushing 100 in their early 20s. According to him im overreacting, im saying he just blatantly cheated on me. Now im tempted just to end things..

If i end things im gonna need a 10th guy pretty quick because i hate not getting sex at night, that's party why i stayed with him so long because he's one of the few guys that can actually keep up with me lol. Most guys just can't handle me ughh if you know someone plzz let me knoww im impatient

I am not the OOP. The OOP is posting in

Concluded as per OOP

1 update - Medium

- 18th May 2024

- 20th May 2024

AITA for never telling my Mother I married into money?

I (34F) have a difficult relationship with my Mother, she had me when she was 17 and was addicted to various substances when I was growing up. She'd leave me with whoever would watch me for days on end and i'd end up mostly raising myself. I left home at 16 and couch surfed with various friends until I was able to get my own place. At 25 I met my now Husband and we got married three years later.

His family is the polar opposite of mine and are incredible, so loving and warm, I honestly consider his parents mine and call them Mum and Dad. They also happen to be quite well off but that isn't something I care about, I mention it because it matters to the story.

Last year my Mother reached out to me after a decade of not speaking to her wanting to reconnect and introduce me to my little sister who was 2 years old, I was confused as I hadn't even known she'd been pregnant, but it seems she'd been a change of life baby. I thought maybe she'd turned over a new leaf and if not I wanted to make sure the kid was ok. At first it seemed like things had changed and she was trying, this illusion lasted for the first few visits over six months then she broke down, told me she couldn't do this, and asked me to take my sister.

My husband and I had a long talk about it, we'd been struggling with fertility and had been considering adoption anyway. We told her if we were doing this we were doing it right, and we had his families lawyer ensure it was a legal adoption and airtight which took several months, My in-laws adore her and consider her their Granddaughter. They've even set up a trust-fund for her.

We have allowed My Mother one supervised visit per month so she's not totally cut off from my sister but it was during these visits things went badly as she saw how she was dressed and the toys she had, and realised they were expensive. She began to rip into us for hiding the fact we have money and how if we'd just given her money she'd have not given us my sister as she could have taken care of her better.

I told her while we have some money its mostly my husbands parents money not ours so she had no right to know about it, also that I wouldn't have given her money anyway as I didn't trust her. She broke down calling me a selfish bitch who'd never considered how hard things were for her.

I now feel some guilt, my Husband has told me if I want to make me feel better he'll give her money but that seems like a bad idea as she'd likely use it badly or blow through it then expect more. Despite this though I do feel bad, maybe I should have tried to help her more now my luck is better, or maybe I should have been honest with her. AITA for keeping this from her?

Comments

Dependent-Aside-9750

NTA. If hubby wants to pay for something, it can be a treatment program for Mom to get the help she needs, but youare mist definitely NOT the ahole. Mom is trying to manipulate.

OOP: I tried many times to try to get her to get clean over the years before I cut off contact, she had no interest and I don't think that has changed at all if I thought that she'd even consider it i'd be having him do that if he truly wants to spend money on her.

Dependent-Aside-9750

Yeah I'm not surprised. It will shut down her whining pretty quickly, though, if that's all you're willing to pay for.

PKripper73

Don't give her a Penny, she'll come back for more, and you know she will deep down.

OOP: Yeah I do, I want to help her despite how she was with me growing up but I know that's not the right way to go about it, just this has brought up a lot of old feelings I thought long gone and guilt.

mrmayhem8100

Your mom doesn't want the money so she can take care of your sister. She just realized she lost her chance at a free meal ticket before she gave her up for adoption

**Judgement - NTA**

Update - 2 days later

I got some really good feedback from my post and it led to my Husband and I staying up most of the night discussing what we wanted to do and a decision was reached. It wasn't an easy one but we have a child to think of now and she has to come first.

We blocked my Mother on every social Media, we changed our phone numbers and we reached out to the family lawyer to get in contact with her to inform her that all visits have been stopped after how she spoke to me in front of my sister. She has to get clean for at least a year with weekly tests if she wants to see my sister again. My Mother can contact our family lawyer if she needs help with the tests but beyond that she gets no help from us unless she wants to go to rehab which we will pay for, directly to the rehab not her.

My Husband, Sister and I have also moved in with my In-Laws for the time being as my Mother knows where we live. We will be looking for a new place and my In-Laws are aware of the situation and that we are cutting all contact for now. Honestly my In-Laws are delighted to have us staying with them, when we arrived the guest room my sister is using for now had an army of Squishmallows on the bed they are her current obsession and my FIL makes sure to bring a new one each time he sees her I always think she must have them all now and each time i'm wrong, how he keeps track of what she has and doesn't have I don't know as he never buys doubles.

We are settling in well, we are even planning a small Holiday with just my Husband, sister and I to get away from the stress we've been under, nowhere abroad as she doesn't have a passport yet but we'll be fixing that soon as we want to take her to Lapland for Christmas.

All in all we're doing alright though I admit I am feeling very conflicted and guilty over this even though I know it's the right choice it just doesn't make it easy.

Thank you all so much for your comments, and advice on the original post.

Comments

Efficient-Tax-8398

Really uplifting update. Thank you. I wish you and your family well.

dougan25

Husband's family sounds like amazing people.

xomiranda

Grandpa is my favorite. Not only getting her a squishmallow every time, but keeping track of what she already has! These men love that little girl. It makes my heart happy.

I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.

Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

I (15m) have a younger sister (13f) named Abbi. Abbi was born 1 week early. This is something my parents really made a huge deal out of. They called her their miracle baby as long as I can remember and used to pick fights with family members because Abbi got away with everything when she was little (still does) and extended family were pissed when she would steal toys off cousins or take everything she wanted without thinking of others. This happened everywhere. At grandparents house, in public, at home and our parents were furious when family members would step in to correct Abbi. They'd also correct her for taking stuff from me and my parents would always tell family I didn't care.

Then when Abbi was 5 she got really sick with the flu which turned into pneumonia and she was in the hospital for weeks. My parents were worse after that. She had to be the priority, her happiness was everything, and that ruined my life completely. They would agree to let me do stuff with friends and then make me cancel or would just tell me I couldn't go and wouldn't let me cancel so I could play with Abbi because she wanted to play with me. One time my friends parents had paid for me to join them at the amusement park and my parents told them as the others showed up at our door. It was so embarrassing.

Abbi and I would fight a lot. She'd tell me I had to hang out with her and I'd say I didn't want to. Then my parents would say Abbi was right and I had to. When she had other kids to hang out with I'd catch a break but when she wasn't allowed to play with them anymore or when they'd fight, she'd demand me. My parents would then say all my plans were off the table. It made it so hard for me to keep friends. My parents were also those parents to send Abbi with me to parties if she had no other plans and when parents were like no way in advance, my parents would only let me go if Abbi had plans.

2 years ago Abbi stole from one of my friends while he was at our house. My parents defended her and refused to make her return it. So his parents stopped us from being friends. Abbi made fun of me for being upset and I told her I hated her and she ruined my life. I got grounded for it. But it's when I stopped caring at all about Abbi and decided I don't care about being selfish but I don't want to make her life happy. My parents made her impossible to be around and I wish I never had to see her again. We can't even see extended family now because my parents pissed them off so bad over Abbi.

My parents are now pissed at me because the camp they're sending Abbi and me to this summer is separating us and they wanted me to ask for them to keep us together. The camp ignored my parents so they expected me to do it for them. But I refused and they told me I should think of my sister and how lost she'll be especially for her first year at this camp. I told them I don't care. They told me I should prioritize my sister over myself. I said no way. They called me selfish.

AITA?

I was out grocery shopping with my three year old son. My wife was doing her gardening so it was just us having a day together.

There was a homeless man outside the store begging. I don't carry cash but I said I would get him some food.

We did our shop and I added a large bottle of water and a huge sandwich to the pile. This sandwich could have been four meals for me.

After we get outside I give the guy his food. And he starts yelling at me for taking so long to bring him his food. Like I'm his waiter and he is some shitty boomer. This guy was probably my age or younger.

I said I was sorry but that I was at the store to do my shopping. He wouldn't stop screaming. I then tried to walk briskly to my car. He just missed the back of my head with the water bottle. He missed my son by a few feet but it still scared me.

I turned around to make sure he wasn't going to attack me from behind. He had thrown his sandwich on the ground and he was screaming that I was a bitch and an asshole for getting him such a big sandwich???? I guess his complaint was that he couldn't refrigerate it. I don't know.

There were lots of people around so I wasn't too scared once I could see him. I just kept walking away and looked at him every other second.

Like millions of other men I have taken martial arts classes. Taekwondo as a kid, judo in university, and MMA because I thought I could make it in the UFC. Spoiler alert my hatred of getting punched in the face cut short my delusions.

He came running at me when I refused to engage. I didn't know if he was armed, if he had some disease, if he was mentally stable. So I dummied him. One shot. He dropped. The cops were there almost immediately. Someone called them when the guy started screaming at me.

There were a dozen witnesses to what happened and the store had security cameras. I still had to call my wife to get her to come trade me cars and take the food and out son.

The cops let me go. The guy got taken away in an ambulance but he is being charged.

My mom found out about this and called me to tell me how disappointed she is in me. She is a social worker and has many contacts with the homeless in our city.

She said I needed to deescalate the situation and that violence is never the answer. I asked her if I should have let the guy hurt me and my son instead? She said that he was harmless. I think getting a litre of water to the back of the head could have hurt me. And if it hit my kid in the face it would have done damage. She doesn't care.

My dad and my wife both agree that I did the right thing walking away and then defending myself but my mom is making me doubt myself.

TA as my main is linked to me and I have received clients through it.

I was an aupair before and now I provide nanny services and annual babysitting services (a new contract is signed every year, there are no run on contracts). I have three others working for me, and the occasional teen looking to make some extra cash.

One of my employees was done with a minor celebrity family abroad.

This celebrity had recommended her to one of their other celebrity friends. I had a few families that weren't vetted on a list, but because she said she already knew the social circle, she wanted to start immediately due to cash flow and was willing to start before the formalities and paperwork was sorted out. The contract with base rate, extras and holidays and all were signed and agreed upon before she started.

Apart from some minor disagreements her former celebrity employer was overall a good client. So, I allowed her to start thinking their friend wouldn't be a hassle, without vetting them. The first week went ok, and I got good feedback from her when I touched base with her. The second week there were some minor disagreements. The third week they didn't serve her food because they felt she was getting paid enough to get her own food.

I contacted them and gave them a warning that they couldn't breach the contract and to reimburse her cost of food. They agreed to it, but the day after my employee contacted me and said they gave her what they thought she should use for food instead of her actual costs and she wanted to quit.

I contacted them again and told them that there would be legal action if they didn't. They did begrudingley but left a voicemail wondering why she felt the need to eay papayas and pineapples (even though this is part of the children's diet and as per the contract she would get the same food) and other fancy stuff when she couldn't afford it. They also said people like her should stick to what is within the means of their budget.

So I moved her out this placement, and came to an agreement that I would take over her duties until I found them a different one. This is in line with the contract. It's my responsibility if a nanny is sick or otherwise not able to do the job, not the parents.

The children were not the best behaved but due to their ages I let it slide. Things got bad for me during the fourth week as it was my weekend off. When I woke up she had written me a note taped to my bedroom door that she was gone for the weekend and that I should help her out this once as I had given her a faulty nanny to begin with. This was in line with her character from what I had observed, but I was still shocked that she would pull this after me explaining the contract before taking over.

I let it slide, when she returned she came back with her husband. I sat them both down and told them that during my days off which they would be informed about minimum 14 days prior as per contract they had to arrange their own childcare. In additon I reminded them that as they had now been given two warnings, the third would void the contract, whic was in the contract. They tried to raise objections, but I reminded them that I was an employee not a slave.

Six weeks from then; which was yesterday; I was supposed to have the weekend off. When I woke up in the morning the house was empty apart from the children, the bearded dragon, the duck and the other animals. Even the chef wasn't there.

The note she had left stated that she was out entertaining her friends and coworkers at the beach and that she would be back by 2. She said she would really appreciate it if I could do it just once more as it was an important get together. The children were more or less old enough to take care of themselves so it wasn't a hard job.

2 came and went and no sign of either one of them. By 4 I had left several messages. By 5 their other celebrity friend came by to pick up some of his stuff that he had left behind a few days earlier. He mentioned a restaurant and handed me a twenty telling me to hang on in there as it was an important appointment. She was trying to get back into being an actress and she needed this. No sooner had he left did I pack up the children and made my way there.

I asked the waitress to guide me to the table as we were doing a surprise and that the children had looked forward to this all week (that was a lie, but I needed to get to her before the waitstaff stopped me). Her children are known in the area so I am glad they let me through. Then I crashed her "important meeting" with a "surprise" and telling her the contract was voided and to expect a solicitor to contact them.

Since last evening both her and her husband have left....ummm...unsavoury messages on my phone. So was AITAH?????

Hello so for context I am getting an extremely important reward in June. And me and my bio dad don’t get along at well, my bio dad is extremely toxic and manipulator and I don’t want that. And on Friday I was getting an invite list for my family and friends and my mom asked “hey what about bio dad” and I looked at her and just said no he is not coming what so ever.

For context my mom and my bio dad are not married and we’re never married when I was born. So I didn’t like him he gave me an extremely weird vibe and I found out from personal experience and my mother he was toxic and very very good at manipulating people to get what he wanted.

For added context I am getting my eagle badge. An eagle badge is basically something in Boy Scout of America is the highest rank and not a lot of people to get it. It took me over four years to get this badge and I an eagle badge is basically something in Boy Scout of America is the highest rank and not a lot of people to get it. It took me over four years to get this badge my parents get to walk me down the aisle. They basically don’t walk me down a actual aisle. They walk me up to the podium and I don’t want my bio to be there so I’m planning on asking my stepdad because he is an actual father figure to me he was wonderful, and still is.

So am I the jerk.

To clarify, it's not HER car. She does not own the car. It was purchased using mine and her dad's finances. Her dad's name is on the title. It's a marital asset.

This is part 3.

To summarize, last Sunday, my daughter drove drunk. Yes, drunk. Hammered. She's on our home security footage slurring her words, telling her dad she shouldn't go get him another beer bc she's an alcoholic, she's bumping into things, being obnoxious with her brother and eventually goes out the front door, getting in to the car she drives, and driving off to get food for herself.

I was working in the backyard and thought she was watching golf with her dad. When I learned what she'd done and where she was, I picked her up and brought her home. More details are below but fast forward to Thursday.

Her dad and I were supposed to come up with a plan about letting her have the car back when she went back to college. I was adamant that she shouldn't. He seemed uncertain. She was desperate to have it and, while I was at work, her dad gave in to her. They hurried to pack her stuff and sneak her off to college but when I became aware of what was going on, I left work and got home asap to try to stop her. Despite my (not so stellar) attempts to prevent her from driving off, she did. I was furious with my now stbx and told him to leave. He's been out of the house since. Again, more details are in my previous posts but that's where things stand today.

I guess I just want to give more details as to why I reacted the way I did and why I told my stbx to leave that day.

5 months ago my daughter rolled her car and ended up stuck in some trees next to a creek. Supposedly she hadn't been drinking that morning, but had been the night before. While still trapped in the car, she crawled to the back seat to throw her bottle of (not quite empty) booze out the window. Obviously she could've been killed but, thank God, only got a few scratches. Her car was totaled. I felt we should wait for a bit before getting her another one to let the gravity of the situation sink in, but her dad disregarded my wishes, gave in to her and less than 2 weeks later she had another car.

I still don't know what the right thing was to do but I know his complete disregard for what I want in terms of children's well-being is absolutely intolerable to me anymore. We're not dealing with playdates or homework or curfew anymore. These are life or death situations now and we should do everything we can to try to be on the same page. Not going behind each other backs to get our own way.

This time, though, I thought my stbx was leaning towards not letting her have the car to take back to college. He said we would discuss it further and try to agree on a plan. That never happened. Instead, they went behind my back, quickly packed the car, and off she went. More details on that below.

Maybe I am the AH. Maybe I handled it all wrong. All I can say is that I love my daughter and am terrified of losing her, one way or another, to alcohol. I can't stop her from drinking but I was hoping to at least stop her from driving when she does drink and since we're 6 hrs away from each other, keeping the car seems the only surefire way to do that. Also, she admitted to me this wasn't the first time she's driven drunk. Thx to my stbx, it prolly won't be the last.

My marriage has been dying for years. I'm not divorcing him over this one incident. This was just the last straw. No relationship can survive chronic lying, zero respect, zero intimacy, zero connection and chronic loneliness. I prolly stayed longer than I should have.

This is part 2.

Behind my back, her dad (stbx) found her keys, helped her pack the car and tried to get her on the road before I got home from work. My Ring doorbell kept alerting me so I eventually saw what was going on. I rushed home from work, blocked her car with my suv, and called the cops. Before they could get there, he jumps into my car, fights me to turn off my car and was able to prevent me from blocking her. My arm got scraped in the process of him fighting to turn off my car. Ultimately he overpowered me and she was able to drive off. The cops were too late and off she went, 6 hours away to college, with her car.

I wasn't really injured so I declined to press charges against him but I demanded that he leave, and told him that our marriage is over. He's now staying elsewhere for an indefinite period of time.

She's planning to go to AA, therapy, group meetings, get an accountability partner, a breathalyzer and an ignition interlock. I hope she does all those things. I just wanted her to do them without her car bc I don't trust her.

Sadly, her dad and I are not on the same page. I feel incredibly betrayed by him for doing all this behind my back, for not communicating with me about his intentions to give her the car back, and for letting her have the car back despite all the evidence showing that she can't be trusted with it.

He says I'm overreacting, that they have a plan and that he trusts her. I don't. I think he's a coward and I pray that his cowardice and stupidity doesn't get her or anyone else killed.

Also wondering how to go about trying to stop someone from driving drunk when you're not physically with the potential drunk driver. Do the police actually do anything about it if you call them?

This is part 1.

FIRST POST: Two days ago, my 20 yr old daughter drove drunk to get herself some food. I was working in the backyard and thought she was inside watching golf with her dad. When I realized she had driven after drinking that afternoon, I immediately got in my car, picked her up, and drove her home. She is supposed to be returning to college any day now to start an internship there and I am adamant that she cannot have the car anymore until she earns my trust back. She can fly back to college and once there take lyft, ubers, public transportation, whatever, just not her car, which is actually NOT HER CAR AS IT WAS PURCHASED FOR HER BY HER DAD.

Problem is that her dad disagrees with me and wants her to have the car back. This is the same guy who called her while she was out driving drunk and all he did was tell her to "get home safely". He'd been drinking that afternoon and was also in no condition to drive.

She says she doesn't really remember what she said in the car after I picked her up, further indication as to her level of intoxication. AITAH for fighting her dad to not let her take her car back to college after this?

We're watching One Life. Movie about the holocaust and saving children hopefully you've seen it. When we started it I reminded him that i am particularly sensitive to anything holocaust related. Anyway, the part where people are writing in about being willing to foster. One letter says "we can take a boy, under 11, preferably brown hair". I say, "that's fucked. Can you imagine? These babies are at risk of death. And you're worried about their hair color?" His response, "yeah, lol, I'd like a girl, 18, blonde hair". I am totally disgusted. You know those moments where you just lose respect for someone. I'm sorry, but that was one for me. Just..... gross and sooo disrespectful to not only the topic, but to me as his wife. So, reddit, he swears anyone on earth but me would have laughed. If I'm wrong, ok. What say you?

TLDR: My husband thought it was funny to joke about fostering an 18 year old blonde trying to escape the holocaust, I did NOT laugh.

Fair warning: I have nothing against religion or having a relationship with God. I have a best friend who is Christian and we get along super great but the difference between what her and my mother believe is huge.

Long story short: My mother drug me to church from the time I was born until around when i turned 18 and decided that I wasn't going to go there. I have a bit of religious trauma from my mother and have talked to her about the multiple reasons I don't want to attend church at her church.

Jumping to recently now: she told me about a week ago the church wanted to get me a gift for graduation. I told her something along the lines of "well thats nice of them but I don't need anything and I won't be going to that church" she acted like she has no recollection of me telling her all the reasons through the years of why I won't go to that church. She texted me this morning and is trying to convince me to come even though I have told her multiple times I won't come back.

She texted me "The church will have your graduation gift for you today. Could you come to church at 11:00 to receive it? It would make us all happy." And I told her "I told you I will not go" she hasn't responded yet but I'll update if something more comes from this.

So am I the asshole? What do you think? 🤔 of course there is way more that I could have prefaced this story with but then the post would be a novel so I'm just trying to stick with a little context and the basics of what happened recently. I definitely don't fit in at her church and haven't felt safe or welcomed in a decade.

So yea, am I the asshole for refusing to go to receive a college graduation gift from the old church I haven't been to for a service in around 5 years?

Again! I am not going so don't worry about me going I'm not!

There's a certain level of mental aptitude that comes from being abused, bullied, and insulted constantly that popular, charismatic, and widely-beloved people do not have access to. A confidence pulled from the mud is more solid than a false, weak confidence that has been nurtured by a life seasoned with favor and compliments. Attractive people who suddenly become unattractive are the weakest members of society. Unattractive people who were born unattractive and never experience a glow up are the strongest and will survive the longest as generations go on.

Unattractive people are generally more in touch with reality, are more self-aware, empathetic, and understand consequences which makes them better leaders and innovators.

Unattractive people fight harder, train harder, and think harder. Growth and improvement from an unattractive person is more noticeable and more impressive.

Sympathy and help from others is easier to garner when you're unattractive.

Conventional attractiveness is trendy and weak. Beauty makes you a target. Beautiful people have to work harder to even be taken seriously.

Unattractive people seem more trustworthy because they are better at presenting evidence (valid or not) to back their statements because they do not have their looks to help convince an audience.

A majority of the greatest leaders, geniuses, and ground breakers in history were not conventionally attractive. Rich people? Unattractive. They often give birth to attractive offspring who are inevitably crushed by their inability to adapt. Their bloodline weakens as it lengthens.