Stassi Schroeder

***This recap is written out by me, my Instagram is vanderpodrecaps. I watched this on YouTube.

Stassi saying no to The Valley

• Jeff: Because of the popularity of Vanderpump Rules, they’re now spinning off…

• Shane: The Valley

• Jeff: The valley. Which so it’s Jax, Brittany, Kristen, does she have a boyfriend?

• Stassi: Yes she does.

• Jeff: And when I heard the announcement. First of all I was very excited about it. But then I was like where the fuck is Stassi. And then I was mad at Bravo. Like you know just secretly mad at bravo that they didn’t have you and Beau on. And then when I talked to you this morning

• Stassi: It’s not Bravo’s fault. Yeah

• Jeff: It’s not Bravo’s fault at all. It’s your fault. You turned it down.

• Stassi: Well I was asked to film the sizzle reel.

• Jeff: What does that mean? Why? You’re a proven talent. Why would they need a sizzle reel?

• Stassi: Well they filmed a sizzle reel to like show what this show would be.

• Jeff: Oh you’d be involved into the sizzle reel of the valley. Got it

• Stassi: Yeah so once this idea was brought up and they were like okay we’re gonna film a sizzle with all the people that would be on it. And film this sizzle and every fiber of being voted no. Like truly. That’s what it is

• Jeff: And is it because you don’t want to work with the same people again?

• Stassi: It’s a lot of different reasons. First of all it wouldn’t be a reflection of what my reality is.

• Jeff: How do you know?

• Stassi: Because I’m not friends with any…you know it’s just not my group of friends.

• Jeff: You’re not friends with any of them any more.

• Stassi: I’m friendly with some of them. I’m acquaintances with some of them. And some of the new ones too like I think are lovely but it’s not my crew.

• Jeff: But you don’t have to pretend to be close friends. I mean you’d probably become closer while you’re filming together.

• Stassi: But I don’t want to. I don’t want to have to go and do things that I normally wouldn’t do. I don’t want to disrupt the life that I have right now because I really like my life right now. When they filmed the sizzle I was still friends with everyone. And I still was like no.

• Jeff: But what about the vanderpump rules people, are you friends with them?

• Stassi: A few of them.

• Jeff: Which ones?

• Stassi: Umm Lala. Katie. Tom Schwartz. You know. Scheana. I mean I talk to Scheana every now and then. Her kid came to my kids birthday party. My life is not the way that it used to be. I’m not in this group. I don’t have time to just be in this group of friends that goes out all the time and gets to do whatever they want.

• Jeff: But maybe the valley is going to be a different vibe.

• Stassi: It’s not because I know what they do on a regular basis. And that’s not what I do.

Le sigh. Le eye roll. It actually happens more than you think. Publishers can and do determine which of their books will debut on the bestseller list by a formula of print run/marketing budget. Bookstores buy books on a fully returnable basis. If you can get massive bulk sales to bookstores - especially the chain bookstores - by convincing their reps to place the gargantuan orders, your book automatically hits the NYT bestseller list on that first week whether or not anyone actually goes to the bookstore and buys the books. Titles that abruptly fall off the list after a week or two are often a product of this bizarre equation wherein bookstores ordered huge numbers, but no one showed up to buy them. But to get flagged by the Times on said list, you have to really go above and beyond the call of morally bankrupt duty. As an honest writer, this really chaps my ass. Ah well. T'was ever thus.

finds a spectacular way to make good on his financial obligation to , while visits a real-life witch to exorcise the demons threatening her relationship with Beau. stages a musical performance in honor of her father and comes to a realization about alcohol, throws a fit when he learns he won’t be DJing Billie Lee’s brunch, and reveals some troubling issues during his and ’s couple’s therapy.

Episode description: Tom Schwartz finds a way to make good on his financial obligation to Lisa; Stassi visits a witch to exorcise the demons threatening her relationship; Lala stages a musical performance; Jax reveals some troubling issues during couple's therapy.

finds a spectacular way to make good on his financial obligation to , while visits a real-life witch to exorcise the demons threatening her relationship with Beau. stages a musical performance in honor of her father and comes to a realization about alcohol, throws a fit when he learns he won’t be DJing Billie Lee’s brunch, and reveals some troubling issues during his and ’s couple’s therapy.

Edit: Apologies for the formatting I’m on mobile. I’ve got one hand on the Hayu pause button and another typing with rage.

From the casual racism, classism, general nastiness and hypocrisy I’m amazed that she and her friends at Sur had such a strong bond. She said dragging someone’s hair made her a “ghetto bitch”. Like what the fuck? She actually sat and listened to scheanas music and made fun of it? OH to then take the time off work, to GO TO THE SHOW to make fun of her…only to be crying in her arms cos she has no friends. I wonder if she ever thinks back to that time and realised how bad of a person she came across. And why do the other lower level servers not see Stassi for who she is? She got mad at her friends for not blowing wind up her ass about jax. I hope she’s changed as I was quite alarmed to learn she is now a mum. I want to hear her story but what if it’s a waste of time and she’s a true mean girl. She will never be the woman Scheana is (I also hope that doesn’t age badly I’m only on S1)

I’m interested to hear other peoples opinion of Stassi and how she treats people on the show.

I know she’s said on the show that she’s a “Nordic princess” or whatever but her and her brother’s names are super Russian. Anastasia (stassi’s full name) and specifically Nikolai are ultra Russian names so I was just wondering if she is Russian too