I 27F have been married to my husband 34M for over a year. We’ve been together for 6 years. He’s a gym freak which I don’t have a problem with except for when he sometimes tries to impose his routine on me (pressure me into adopting his dietary habits). I exercise too (I’m 5'6"/130 lbs) but I enjoy my food and nothing will change that. that’s not what I’m posting about tho.

Lately I can't wear a dress without him telling me I look good but that I would've looked better if I had that breast augmentation surgery. He never complained about my breasts for 6 years until the past 4-5 months. I’ve told him before that I’m not against it but not planning to get one (it took me years to regain my confidence because my mother used to make hurtful remarks about my chest like if it's something I didn't achieve).

A few days ago we were having sex and he didn’t hesitate to remind me "again" that I would look 10 times better with the implants which turned me off instantly. I don't remember what I exactly said but I said something along the lines of "I know how it feels. nevermind you’re the perfect size. the big ones hurt anyway" He got mad and called me immature and all. Mind you he’s been pressuring me to have the surgery for 4 months now and I never snapped at him. Edit: (I'm an a-cup)

Yesterday we were getting ready to go to his friend’s wedding but I ended up staying home. He brought up the surgery again and I snapped at him. I reminded him that we dated for 5 years before we got married. He had plenty of time to realize that I'm not good enough for him and break up with me to find a woman who has what he’s looking for. (I do have eyes. He’s right I’m flat chested but I have a nice body overall). He said he loves me and wants to be with me but feels he could be more attracted to me with bigger breasts. I ended up telling him to go alone. I can't shake off the feeling that our recent arguments are taking us down a toxic path. It's not the kind of relationship I want for us.

Is this worth considering divorce over? Other than this we do get along very well but I feel like he’s taking me back to the days when I would stand in front of the mirror for minutes thinking I would never find a man who would like me if I myself don't like what I'm seeing.

Edit: for the weirdos asking/going to for pics to see if they're a handful or not. I'm asking if his behavior is acceptable or not. Not if I'm really flat chested. I am. I don't need to send any pics for you to judge.

My husband and I recently moved into the same city as his childhood best friend "Steve". Steve is allergic to all nuts, legumes and soy. Because of this, my husband wants our house to have a rule that we're not to have nuts in the house in case he comes over.

I think this is a dumb rule and refuse to comply. I did agree to keep my nut-based products in a separate container, but my husband thinks that this isn't enough. I'm allergic to wheat, and we still have it in the house.

I also think it's unnecessary. I don't know the extent of Steve's allergies, but I do not it's not immediately life threatening, he doesn't carry an EpiPen, and he also works in food service and frequently handles nuts. Being in the same room isn't going to hurt him. As long as we don't serve him food with nuts and watch for cross-contamination, we should be fine.

The foods that Steve is allergic to are a big part of my diet. Also, this is where I live, not Steve, so I feel like I shouldn't have to cater to the possibility that he might come over at some point in future. But my husband is worried he'll accidentally cause his friend to have an allergic reaction if we don't keep the entire house free of allergens. AITA for refusing to go along with that?

OP:

After posting, my husband and I continued to discuss the situation. I held firm and iterated again I will not live with a child and if my husband wants to pursue this, he will have to find other housing

We discussed divorce. We discussed temporarily separating. We discussed a lot. We sat down and had a pretty big financial talk (he is not involved in our financial planning) I showed him the numbers he realistically had to work with.

I told my husband the truth, that while I love him, I won't lose sleep if we divorce. He has to do what's right for his own happiness and his kid.

My husband had a bit of a breakdown over that. There was a lot of crying and him telling me that he loved me and didn't want to lose me. I broke down myself. We had a real good cry together. He asked if we could go back to our marriage counselor.

So, I made an appointment. We went. We discussed the same things above but with a counselor present.

It basically boils down to my husband being very overwhelmed and conflicted about everything. He confessed he didn't really want to be an active parent but feels like he is supposed to (there's some deep stuff in there about his own family and race tied into that. So complicated emotions). He is terrified of losing me. He wants to prioritize our marriage. Hearing me say that I wouldn't lose sleep over divorcing left him shook.

Our counselor strongly suggested that my husband get into individual therapy and gave some referrals. My husband has not pursued that.

It did become pretty obvious to my husband that he was not in a place mentally or financially where he could take full custody though. So the kid is now in Virginia with maternal grandparents.

My husband was actually going to go and visit the kid for their birthday this weekend. I gifted my husband some of my airline miles to buy his plane ticket. I did his laundry last night while he was at work so he'd have clean stuff to pack.

However, my husband dropped the ball on his trip. I had a plans for this afternoon that I left early for so I wasn't home when he was supposed to get up and leave. He stayed up late playing video games last night and overslept. Ended up missing his flight and couldn't afford last minute tickets on another. He's in a pissy mood and is playing elder scrolls now trying to get his mind off of it.

I've got my sister and some friends coming over in a few for a salsa canning party in a bit so I'm hoping he gets into a good grove with his game because I am going to have so much margarita.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is

to

Do doctors laugh at patients? I am worried about seeing doctor about my second pair of eyes. - May 13, 2024

Triggers Warnings: mental illness, hospitalization.

Mood spoilers: ends well

22F taking geodon 160 mg and trileptal 600 mg. I have developed a​ hidden second pair of eyes behind my two visible eyes and I’m not sure if I should go to the doctor for this. I’m really worried about what it means. I’m scared of being laughed at or being told nothing is wrong. I know something’s wrong, I will just need x rays to prove it but I’m scared of being laughed at and I’m scared of the x rays showing nothing because I know something is there.

Relevant comments:

(physician): We won't laugh at this, but it would generate concern. I have to be honest this sounds more like a fixed delusion, you don't give your medical history but probably there is underlying schizoaffective or similar disorder. If the second eyes were visible, others would be able to see them either with their eyes or imaging. While they feel very real to you, that does not mean they are physically present.

This certainly should be discussed with your physician as these delusions can cause a great deal of distress and can be treated.

(paramedic): I remember you from last year when your eyes merged - back then no one laughed at you when you had this problem, so you can absolutely go to the doctor with this. Not sure if they will give you an x-ray but they surely can solve your issue, so don't hesitate to go. All the best.

Also for the readers: Please do not downvote her comments, her responses are all part of her medical issue.

OOP: Yeah, my eye issues went away for a while and then came back, it’s just a​ different issue this time. I’ll go in the morning. I don’t mind the downvotes because I know people think I’m crazy but thanks for sticking up for me.

OOP: I don’t know the cause but I know something similar has happened to me before where my eyes were turning into one eye, or my pupils become divine shapes and turn blue when I’m having a divine thought.

I have been having double vision for a few months and when I went to the doctor they said it was probably just dehydration and gave me fluids but they didn’t do an x ray of my head. And I realized yesterday that I’ve been seeing out of these new eyes instead of my old ones. I booked an appointment to the optometrist because I thought it was a normal eye issue until I realized. I’ve had weird eye issues like this in the past that other people didn’t believe.

OOP: I don’t know if there’s any hope for me.

The last time I went to the ER for my eyes they just told me I was dehydrated and gave me fluids and this time they’ll do the same thing even though I’ve been drinking enough water, 8 cups a day, I’ve been doing well, I don’t know what to do now and I’m scared of going to the doctor and no one is believing me, they all think I’m fucking psychotic and I’m not (EDITOR: emphasis added). They’ll just send me to the hospital again without doing any scans and nothing will even show up on a scan. I’m so frustrated and tired and sick of the whole medication game. I don’t understand why I can’t just be normal and go on with my life like other people my age. why do I have to have these weird insane problems no one even believes?

(Physician - Psychiatry): Please tell me more about the divine experiences- what is a divine thought? It sounds intense. How are your thoughts normally?

Do you have any close family or friends (or other people you trust) that you have or could talk to about these concerns?

OOP: My thoughts normally are just regular people thoughts. Like the kind you or someone else might have. Divine thoughts sometimes don’t belong to me or they happen because a divine figure wanted me to think it. They feel good but sometimes they’re scary. But I have a feeling you knew that already.

I don’t remember how much I’ve told my family.

(Physician): What do you take the geodon and trileptal for? Are you having double vision or blurry vision? Any headaches?

OOP: Yes to both blurry eyes and double vision. No headaches though. I thought I was taking the meds for mental illness but I’m now realizing there was no mental illness and the meds have been poisoning me. I’m cured and being poisoned. I’m not sure how to bring this up to the psychiatrist I am seeing. He always dismisses my concerns.

(Physician): Ok, I understand and I know you must feel scared right now! The double/blurry vision has me concerned as well and I think you should go to an ER and tell them what is going on. In addition, you should try to get a hold of your psychiatrist in the morning and speak to them about your medications, because if you have abruptly stopped your medications you could be experiencing symptoms similar to ones you are experiencing. It seems like it is causing you a lot of distress so I would try to get in touch with a doctor as soon as possible.

OOP: Thanks. I will. And I didn’t stop my medications even though I want to.

(not verified as healthcare professional): I am proud of you for asking for help. I hope you are giving yourself grace and care, OP.

OOP: Thanks, I’m trying to.

- May 18, 2024

22F. I was having a psychotic episode and went to the hospital shortly after making that post. I’m stabilized and my brain feels a lot more clear now, and I recognize that I don’t actually have any extra eyes. I’m not back to 100% quite yet but I’m getting there. Thanks to everyone who was nice to me in helping me figure out what was going on.

Relevant comment:

OOP: My friend convinced me to go. It was pretty much blind faith in her. Without my support system I wouldn’t have gone to the hospital at all. I was having a lot of paranoia around doctors.

They gave me zyprexa at first to stabilize me. That shit is like a wonder drug.

The main reason I even had a psychotic episode was because I wasn’t eating enough food for my geodon to work. Once I was eating the hospital dinners it kicked back in pretty fast since it was already in my system. While I was in the hospital my paranoia and hallucinations gradually declined over four days, but with the delusion it was like an on/off switch got flipped around day 3.

As this episode seems to have ended, I'm marking this as concluded. I want to note what drew me to this post: OOP is completely coherent and rational, despite some of the irrational things she's saying. I'm so happy she has a good support system and was willing and able to get help! Also, basically all the comments were exceptionally kind and caring.

EDIT: After posting, it occurred to me that I should have asked permission before posting this, as OOP was in an especially vulnerable place. I reached out to OOP and apologized, and asked if she'd like me to delete the post. She graciously allowed me to keep the post up, saying "I love BORU!" Thanks, OOP! All the best!

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I moved south so my husband can be close to his family and the cost of living is cheaper. I WFH and he works full time as well. Occasionally the older kids (15-21) will come over and stay. When I cook I will let then know the food is ready and to come and eat. I let them fix their plate and decide what and how much they want. My husband said I should be fixing their plate and bringing it to them. I said no, I don't mind fixing the plate, but I'm not gonna serve dinner to their room or living room, they can get up and come get their food. Beside we have a no eating in the bedroom rule anyway. He said "they are kids, that's how things are done in the south." My response was that they are not little kids or guests and they are old enough to fix their plate or come and get their food. I will fix and bring his plate cause he works and pays the bills. I have an older son in his 20s and since he was a teen I stopped fixing his plate and let him decide what or how much he wanted to eat. He didn't talk to me the rest of the day. The issue is over with and we discussed and I agreed that I have no problem making dinner plates, but I'm not a waitress. It has been on my mind if I'm right or wrong. AITA?

Aita? I feel very stuck on what to do or if I overreacted. I (24F) have an older sister (33F). I had my sons really young at 15 and 18 with my ex boyfriend. My sister was already out of the house when I had my youngest so she didnt do any childcare (not that I expected her to), just important for context.

Im really lucky to say that my ex is a very involved father and we have an equal coparenting schedule we decided out of court for years. We do one month on, one month off. We live in the same city so this doesn't affect their schooling and we’ve been doing it since we broke up at 18. I understand a month is a long time, but during the time they're away I still see them by taking them to the park, doing drop offs, movie/dinner night, even “sleepovers” where they’ll stay the night and their dad does the same so its not like during that month we’re no contact. We also do nightly Facetimes. I do love that it gives me time to relax and be childfree, hang out with my boyfriend/friends spontaneously, even get to go out of town if I want. I still get to live as a young adult and so does my ex which is why we agreed to the schedule at all.

Its raised controversy if I mention it to other moms because they always say they “can never go away from their children for so long” and make me feel like a shitty mom because I have fun during my month off. Its why I dont really mention it often to other moms. Anyways my older sister just welcomed her first baby last year and it was amazing. We arent the closest because of our age gap but it did bring us closer. Her husband and her separated a few months after his birth and shes been doing it all alone ever since. With the job market how it is, it took her months to even land an interview but she got the job. Sadly childcare in our area is 2k a month and she cant afford it so either the paternal grandmother or I watch him during the week. Our mom would do it but she had to return to work last year to pay the bills she cant. Luckily for me I had my mom to watch the boys when I was underage and when I moved out, but I dont have to worry about childcare since I WFH and my boys are in scho now.

I dont mind watching my nephew, my sister gos in at 6 and gets off at 2 so it doesnt take up much of my day and I usually do it two or three times a week so its not too constant. On Thursday when my sister dropped my nephew off, she had to go downstairs because she forgot his diaper bag and left her purse and phone behind. I live in the eight floor so she was gone for around five minutes. When she left her phone rang and since it was our mom I answered it to say hello. During the call I see a notification pop up of someone liking a message my sister sent: it said “Its crazy how she can watch my son for me but when it comes to hers she doesnt care. I could never go to Jamaica to celebrate a mans birthday when I could be with my kids instead. Deadbeat moms are worse than dads”. It shocked me so much I screenshotted it. My boyfriends birthday is next weekend and we’re going to Jamaica for a week. Its my sons time with their dad. When my sister came back upstairs I acted normal, she said bye and left.

I thought about it a lot and I got more pissed off. Why should I be shamed because I dont have to do it alone? How am I comparable to a deadbeat dad like her husband who hasnt seen their son in months with no contact? Here I am doing her a favor saving her 2k a month she doesnt have all to be insulted in a groupchat with people I dont know? When she came to get my nephew I confronted her.

At first she denied it until I showed her the screenshot, then she said its out of context so I said to show me the full convo then and she refused. She said sorry but didnt seem sorry at all, she just wanted to leave. I asked her to explain how Im a deadbeat, then she broke down in tears saying that SHES a single mon since she receives no help and I am barely a mom so I dont understand how she feels. I told her that to leave and she did. Once she left I called her and told her I wasnt going to be watching my nephew anymore. I didnt want to tell her in person because I know shed try to guilt rip me with even more tears.

She sent me over 50 texts when I wouldnt answer her calls begging me to answer and that shes so sorry and this wasnt supposed to happen and she regrets it. She said she needs me to watch him since his other grandma cant everyday. And that if she gets fired she’ll be out of a job again for months and wont be able to afford her bills. I didnt reply. Now my mom and cousins are all blowing up my phone telling me Im a huge asshole and to change my mind and accept her apology. I feel used and disrespected but also do feel a bit bad since she does need the childcare. AITA?

My dad and his wife "Dora" had a terrible fight yesterday which ended with him basically telling her to pack up her shit and leave. It's obvious that they are going to get divorced. Thank god my dad has an ironclad prenup so she won't get anything.

My dad left the house and told me to call him "when the bitch is gone" so that he can return home.

I went to help Dora pack her stuff so that she could leave faster. I saw her packing the jewelries and I had to stop her and told her these are not hers. She got mad and said of course it's hers, these are gifts. I reminded her that no these are family heirlooms and my dad told her she is allowed to use them sometimes not that it's hers. She got really angry but went to pack everything else while cursing me under her breath. After she was done she went to get into the car and I had to stop her again.

I reminded her that the car is in my dad's name therefore it's not hers to take. She got even angrier and yelled "It was a gift to me"

I said ok but are you dumb? It doesn't matter that it was a gift, it wasn't in her name. She was an idiot for not making him put it in her name, no she can't do shit about it.

She called me a fucking bitch and left crying.

My (39M) husband (39M) and I were together for 10 years and married for seven before he unexpectedly died last year. Before and throughout our marriage, his parents never really liked me. I have no proof of this, but I think it was because he was bi and I robbed them of their chance for him to marry a woman and have children. Despite how they felt about me, I was not only always cordial to them, but I allowed them use of my two lake houses for whenever they wanted. The first lake house was owned by my parents since before my brothers and I were born. The second lake house was purchased by my brothers and I when the original owner decided to sell. The houses are right next to each other and perfect for large family gatherings. During our time together, my husband’s family celebrated holidays and extended weekends at the houses. And it was never an issue because I was at almost each of those getaways. Recently, my husband’s youngest brother got engaged and I knew his family would be throwing him and his fiancé a party like they did for all of their kids (except for my husband and I, but we didn’t have a big ceremony or anything, so I can’t prove the lack of party had anything to do with me). I also expected an invitation because I was incredibly friendly with the youngest brother having gone to many sporting events and concerts with him. But no one ever mentioned anything about a party. And when I finally asked the parents, I was told that they weren’t doing anything big. Fast forward to last Monday, and I got a text from one of the neighbors at the lake asking if I’d be joining the family for the party. Come to find out, the whole family was at the lake houses with guests and had been for that entire weekend to celebrate the engagement. At first I wasn’t bothered by not being there, but then I got another text from the neighbor one night telling me that mother-in-law drunkenly admitted that I wasn’t invited. So I drove over an hour to town with the paperwork listing my brothers and I as owners, and showed the sheriff the text message stating I wasn’t invited and told them I wanted everyone off of the properties. The sheriff and some deputies escorted me to the houses to shut the party down. The sheriff entered the party to shut it down telling the guests that the owner wanted everyone gone. Mom and dad in law threw a fit and that’s when the sheriff arrested them for public intoxication. Youngest brother is mad at me, but his fiancé is on my side. The brothers and sisters are also split as to whether or not I was wrong. But there seems to be a common consensus that I could’ve handled things differently. So, AITA?

Edit to add: There’s always been a hidden lockbox with keys in them. I don’t know that anyone has ever had copies made, but I paid the neighbor’s husband to change all the locks on both houses and to lock the garage doors and disable the garage door opener. I had to get back home because I have a cat and dog to look after, otherwise I would’ve changed everything myself.

My (36F) daughter’s (13F) birthday was last weekend. There’s this trampoline park in town that offers sleepover parties where the kids could play for a few hours, watch a movie, and have a sleepover on the trampolines. Her school is very small, so there are only 20 students in her entire year. When we were booking the event, she said to only book 19 places. I asked her if she was sure she wasn’t missing out someone, but she assured me there were only 19 kids in her class, and I was just misremembering.

Fast forward to her birthday, and this girl “Kamilla” shows up with an entire box full of gifts: teddy bears, perfume, candles, nail polish, flowers, chocolates, etc. I remembered picking up my from school at the beginning of the school year and seeing her chatting and being very friendly with Kamilla, so I assumed they were quite good friends. When Kamilla went up to hug my daughter and wish her a happy birthday, she lightly pushed her away and told Kamilla she couldn’t attend as we forgot to book her place. I apologised to Kamilla and her mother and offered to talk to the people in charge and pay for her place, but my daughter insisted that Kamilla couldn’t come. Kamilla was very distraught over this and started sobbing.

I pulled my daughter aside and asked her why Kamilla couldn’t join, even though they used to be friendly and she’d invited every other student in her year. She said that Kamilla was just really weird, obsessive, and creepy, and she didn’t want to be friends with her anymore. I asked her if Kamilla was bullying her, and she said no, she just didn’t want to be around Kamilla. Kamilla’s mother had found out about the party through another parent and Kamilla decided to surprise my daughter knowing she hadn’t been given an invite.

I returned the gifts to Kamilla, apologised again, and gently told her that there weren’t enough spaces. Her mother started screaming at me, telling me that I was a grown adult woman bullying a preteen girl. I told her that it was my daughter’s birthday party, she could invite whoever she wanted. She accused me of raising my daughter to be a bully, and that she couldn’t just invite the entire class and exclude one girl. She claimed that Kamilla was my daughter’s “best friend” and she had to right to be invited.

I told her that my daughter’s a teenager, not a 5 year old, she can’t be forced to invite the entire class just to be nice. I said that I didn’t want to raise a doormat. I didn’t want to teach her to value the feelings of others at the expense of her own - if my daughter feels uncomfortable around someone, then I prioritise HER wellbeing over that of a stranger’s.

Kamilla’s mother is now talking to the teachers to punish my daughter for “bullying”. I’ve tried explaining to her that my daughter was simply setting her boundaries, she shouldn’t have to face consequences for that. Kamilla’s mother said that I was an “evil b*tch” who “took joy in bullying little girls”. AITA?

We had our wedding at an all inclusive. It was beautiful and since we were having a small wedding it was cheaper than having a big wedding in town. We chose one with very inexpensive flights and subsidized any guest who wanted to come but might have trouble covering the cost.

We had 50 guests.

The plan was for everyone to come down before the wedding, spend a few days enjoying the sun, and then celebrate with us.

My mother got it into her head that this should be a family reunion. She didn't want my new husband's family there so her plan was to contact our side of the family and tell them to shift their reservations so that they would be coming later and staying after the wedding. She also invited other people for after the wedding.

As long as they were part of my wedding block that was allowed by the hotel. We actually got a little kickback from a few that overlapped my wedding day.

Anyway my mom didn't inform me. But the hotel did because some of the extras wanted the group price even though they weren't going to be there until after the wedding.

I was upset but my mom goes into hysterics if confronted. My husband and I decided to just roll with it.

The wedding and reception went beautifully. The day following the wedding I ran into sine family that I had not invited. For a reason. However we ran into them in the lobby on our way to the Airport.

My husband and I decided not to have our honeymoon at that resort. Instead we flew to one on the other side of the country. Goodbye Caribbean hello Pacific.

My mom blew up my phone wondering where we were. I told her we went on our honeymoon in Baja California.

She lost her shit. She had told everyone that I was cool with the plan. I missed the hysterics which I appreciated.

She is still upset and said I was ungrateful and childish after all she did.

I bit my tongue instead of yelling at her for inviting people I dislike to my wedding. And on my honeymoon.

I (33f) am recently separated and live alone where I work from home in a big house. I value my solitude and quiet time. My sister (31f) has two kids (12 and 9) and recently decided to sell her house and move to Florida. She has to come and spend a week with her kids every few weeks while they live with their father full-time. She never asked prior to selling her house and moving if she and the kids could stay with me when she had her visitation. Around Easter, they ended up staying with me at the last minute and I had to do all the cooking, cleaning up after them, and buying the groceries. They had to sleep in the living room since I have no extra beds so I was confined to my bedroom or office the whole time. She’s now asked to stay ten days with me next week, again last minute. I really don’t want them to stay. When I didn’t let her stay before, my family stopped talking to me for months. My mom will also try to convince me to take custody of my niece. It is stressing me out. I don’t have a maternal instinct and never wanted kids. AITA for not letting them stay with me and for not taking custody?

I feel like i'm being gaslit right now because no way this is was just an accident. This morning me and my bf Carter (28M) were having sex and midway during he moaned his ex's name Carly. I told him to stop and questioned wtf he just said, the annoying part is at first he wouldn't even admit to it and said i was hearing things. After that didn't work he said mistakes like this happen all the time and not to worry.

Obvs i told him to stop and wasn't in the mood to keep going. He keeps saying that im overreacting and this happens a lot between couples but i don't buy it. Im pretty sure he was thinking about her or something which is a huge red flag. Keep in mind im really petite and she's on the thicker side so maybe that's more of his type.

Either way i don't even wanna be around him because of this. If anyone knows a guy who likes petite 18 year olds that are really tight please let me know, any age but preferably older.. they just need to have a high sex drive

So for some background, My mom left me(24m) and my twin sister (24f) when we were 6 and it screwed with us for a LONG time. We used to have to get therapy sessions because the way she left was so jarring for the both of us. 16 years later, sometime after our 22nd birthday, she reached out saying she wanted to make up for lost time and that she was sorry, and I wasn’t with that Idea but my sister was. My sister decided to go ahead and give her a second chance and I NEVER gave her grief on that, but she always hassled me saying I should hear her out and that she’s our mother and to that I humbly declined, I told my sister that our mother doesn’t get to decide when she wants to be in or out of our lives, and that she doesn’t get to clear her conscience with me because my time is worth WAYYY more, my sister respected that for the most part. Flash forward to now on my sisters wedding, she told me before had that our mom was gonna be a part of the wedding and I didn’t make a big deal because it was HER wedding and if she wants that woman to be there then who am I to say no, I just told her me and her would most definitely wouldn’t be communicating at the event, and she was ok with that because she knows that that’s my way of keeping the peace. At the rehearsal dinner everyone showed up and had a good time but my mom kept trying to engage in conversation, I ignored her and tried to keep away from her, my mother then decides to corner me with this victim spiel saying that she wasn’t ready to be a mom at the time and that she just wants a relationship with me and how she didn’t understand why I didn’t want to talk to her. Now mind you, I always said I understand that she wasn’t ready to be a mom, but that doesn’t mean I have to be ok with being abandoned nor do I owe her that luxury of being forgiven. I told her to leave me alone and respect that I don’t want to get to know her or be in her life, she started crying and making a whole scene and said she couldn’t come to the wedding anymore. My sister is saying I ruined her chance to have her mom at her wedding and that I couldn’t put my petty pride aside for her, all I could tell her is that her mom made the decision not to show up for HER, that has nothing to do with me, the wedding isn’t about me. So am I the A-hole here?

So my girlfriend and I were making out on the bed and it was clear that we were about to have sex. I excused myself to go to the bathroom to wash my hands and brush my teeth, because she gets frequent UTIs and I want to minimize the risk. However, I went into the bathroom to discover that there was no soap. Now, I am not incredibly smart to begin with, even less so now that I am horny, so I remember that there is hand sanitizer in the kitchen cupboard, and my brain does not make the next logical connection that putting hand sanitizer in someone's hoo ha is a bad idea. So I go back and we start having sex. As my fingers are in her, she was like "did you cut jalepenos? Its burning down there", and I STILL didn't make the connection. It wasn't until about half an hour later when I realised my mistake. She still loves my dumbass but was not impressed. Tldr: put hand sanitizer on my hands and then put said hands inside my partner

I (21 f) have known this friend (30) since i was a little girl, well call her Rebecca . Of course we weren’t always friends, our relationship started because her parents are friends with mine, and she baby sat me when i was little. When i was 16 and she was 26, she invited us to her wedding, and later on started coming over a lot on weekends with her husband and then kids, which i baby sat. Somewhere along the line, she became someone i could trust, hang out frequently with her, with her family and separately. She’s kinda like another big sister to me, and i adore her. Rebecca has 3 beautiful children, and i knew she was trying for another one. A few weeks ago she asked me out for coffee, and told me that due to her complications in her last pregnancy, the doctors didn’t think it was safe for her to get pregnant again. I told her to let it out, hugged her, and then told her that natural childbirth isn’t the only way to be a mom, theres also adoption and surrogacy. as an adoptee, i told her how i love my mom, even when we fight, and that i considered her my actual mom. she was really interested in surrogacy tho, and started looking into it. Well, last week she and her husband invited me and my boyfriend for dinner, and said they had a favor to ask of us. she gave me flowers and asked me if i could the their surrogate. I didn’t know what to say, and she just told me to sleep on it and give her an answer in a week. I’ve always wanted to be a mom, ever since i was a little girl. A young mom as well, having kids in my 20’s is my dream, but the actual childbirth terrifies me. My Bf and i have even talked about adopting if i never feel ready to actually get pregnant. I love Rebecca, but the prospect of having a baby, having all that pregnancy experience and not being a mom, is don’t think i could do it. i have the most respect for people who give up their babies or are surrogates, but i don’t think i could. So, today, I told Rebecca i was sorry, but that i can’t do it. She obviously cried, which was expected, but she also said she couldn’t believe i was so selfish, that i was taking away her chance of being a mom, and that i was young so those wouldn’t affect if i ever wanted to get pregnant on my own. i haven’t been able to stop thinking about that and if i should just suck it up and do it. so, AITA?

I (18f) was invited to go dress shopping with my dad's current fiancée Natalie (38f). My two sisters (25f and 22f) were invited also. I turned down the offer and Natalie was upset because my sisters also turned her offer down.

We've all been here before So. Many. Times. My dad has been engaged at least 11 times that we know of and married at least four times. He has 7 kids. Not all of us are from marriages. None of us are from the same mom. My mom didn't even know he had kids when she married him. He was a huge liar earlier in his serial marriage life. Mom finding out about his past triggered their divorce. After mom he stopped lying about having kids or being married before. But it didn't stop him from getting into these whirlwind serial relationships and getting engaged and married a bunch.

I don't believe any of his relationships will last more than a few years. Four years was his longest marriage and that was only in the legal sense. He has filed at least one annulment that we're aware of.

At this point none of us plan to go to his future weddings or play pretend in these pre-wedding events. My paternal siblings all feel the same way. None of us really know Natalie or have anything to do with her as a person. I met her once before. Some of my siblings twice. But she's not part of our lives or anything.

After every one of us said no to Natalie she sent a group message to us all saying she expected more from us. That we're about to be family and none of us want to welcome her into the family. She said she has a lot of maternal love to give and would like for us to embrace that and open our minds and hearts to her being more than another of our dad's wives. She said most of us aren't children anymore and even the ones who are could do with being more open to having another mom in their lives. She said she'll be the mother of more siblings one day and for that reason alone we should reconsider how we're treating her.

AITA?

I am self employed, married, and mother to a toddler. Our child goes to daycare while we both work. My sister was taking a day off and asked me last minute to join her at a day spa. I decided to join her and a few of our friends ended up coming too! I didn’t tell my husband I was going because he gets weirdly jealous and upset and I just wanted to avoid this if I could. He was working that day and was going to pick up our daughter from daycare and take her out for dinner and see friends so I could have some time to myself. I was home before them, but he wasn’t talking to me. He found out about my day and was pissed. I understand that I didn’t tell him where I was going, but I knew he would be upset. AITA?

I'm (27f) a mom of two with my third on the way. To make life easier and because I work from home (self employed) around my kids that means my husband or I will batch cook and freeze a lot of food so we're not super stressed about how we're eating. Typically we will batch cook 1-2x a week and store it on our large freezer. We have more than enough to keep us going for a while. I bring this up because it might be relevant info for some.

Anyway, my sister (36f) has two kids of her own. We're not close but last month her husband was in the hospital for a week and as a favor to my parents I babysat my sister's kids. She was okay with this and even though I never met her children before it went well. But after my sister's husband got home from the hospital she called me up and told me she couldn't believe the kids ate so much at my house and what the hell was I feeding them. I gave a rough list of the things they ate, she scoffed at it and then ended our call. I was rolling my eyes so hard at her for this.

Apparently between then and two days ago she had spoken to our parents who mentioned that I balance all the stuff I give my kids and they let my sister know her kids would have eaten some kind of veggie at my house. Seems they don't really go for fruits or veggies easily but especially veggies. With this information my sister reached out again and told me to send her a bunch of the food I have in my freezer because she's tired of her kids not eating their veggies and if she has to do it 'my dumb way' then she will until her husband is back on his feet. I told her after the way she demanded I send her food and after the insulting way she did it too, the answer was no. I told her she doesn't get to treat me like crap and then expect favors. She told me I could easily spare some since our parents made it sound like I make a lot of food in advance and I should be willing to help out family.

I told her I already helped and my answer was no to more help. She grew more annoyed and told me I was a selfish little brat and hung up on me. Yesterday she texted me to say she hopes I'm proud of myself for not helping out.

For those who'll ask why we're not close. My sister judged me for getting pregnant in my 20s, she didn't think I could be a good mom because we don't share the same parenting opinions and she was so rude about all this. She was setting me up to fail and I can't get over that. Plus she has always acted like I'm just a screw up and a baby and that's not true.

AITA?

I (F30s) have been with my husband (M30s) for 5 years. Recently in the last year he has started a new job position, where his role is shared with his co-worker, Chelsea (F20s). I’ve noticed that his co-worker, “Chelsea”, has increasingly pushed my limits of comfortability and I frankly just don’t trust her. I’ve known Chelsea and her family for years prior to my marriage and I wasn’t keen on her then either. She does and says strange things that I don’t believe are malicious, but it’s almost like she wants to be a second wife to him? I don’t feel insecure about her but I feel creeped out. She’s shared with me that she sees my husband as like her brother. Which irks me because she has an awesome brother…and I’m friends with her brother. She often calls, texts, and facetimes about work related and unrelated topics and I’ve heard someone refer to her as his “work wife”. Unfortunately, my MIL passed last month, and it has been utter hell. In the midst of grief, Chelsea texted asking how my husband was doing and how she “cries every day thinking about him” and had told me that she knows exactly what I’m going through (no she doesn’t) and that she can’t wait to give my husband a huge hug. Fast forward a little bit and she was drunk at a party and saw my husband leaving, where she confronted him on why he was leaving. He told her “I didn’t think I had to tell you what I’m doing”, resulting in her panic texting him after to make sure they were okay and trying to get him to talk to her by saying, “you can open up and talk to me or vent or just tell me to stfu”. Strange to me. Theres been more instances but I know I have a limit. Anyways, his birthday was last week and she called him asking his shirt size and she made it a point to let him know she’ll never forget his birthday. Like why are you so creepy sometimes gf.

Yesterday, I’m cleaning the kitchen when he walks in and I notice it’s an unfamiliar shirt. I asked if it was new and he said “Chelsea got it for me” and my blood boiled. Instant rage and I went quiet. He asked if I cared and I remained silent and walked away. I’m usually a huge communicator, but his mom just passed and he asked for no drama, and I’m trying my hardest to respect that, but I know I have zero patience and want to tell him it’s effing weird how involved a coworker is trying to become in his life and she needs to back down and focus on her own engagement. Everyone I talk to says I’m not in the wrong and she’s being creepy, but I feel bad for ignoring my husband and walking away from him. I saw he looked upset and confused, but I know he’s already overwhelmed with grief and don’t want to make things worse. So, AITAH?

My (47F) husband (47M) asked for a separation on our 14th anniversary, while we were away in a foreign country to celebrate. While we weren’t as close as we used to be, we almost never fought and generally enjoyed each others company and families. We do not have any children.

The night before our anniversary, he brought up he wasn’t very happy in the relationship but didn’t know why. The next morning, I asked to see his phone and he said no. He said I would find “flirty” messages with one or more other women on it. He had made some female friends through school and work and he said felt like there might be someone out there who was a better fit for him.

I said I did not want to do a trial separation, as I don’t believe you can work on something if you aren’t living together. If he wanted to separate it would be final. He understood but said it was something he HAD to do.

After being away for only 2 days, we rebooked our flights home, flew home and he packed some belongings and left. 7 days later he asked to come home and we started marriage counselling. He had a lot of trouble admitting he had at least one emotional affair. The counselling was not helpful, he was defensive and not open to it. I suspect something physical happened with the other woman but I do not have any proof. He had deleted all his “flirty” texts, snapchat, etc so I could not see them.

After 4 weeks of living together again and attending counselling sessions, he decided he no longer wanted to try to save the marriage and he was leaving. He packed up and left a few hours later. He stayed with a friend, found a new apartment and signed a one year lease.

I was devastated and even had to take time off work to process what had happened and attend individual counselling.

After a 4 weeks, I started to feel a bit better. I went out for drinks with a group of four coworkers that live in my area and found I really enjoyed one of them (42M) a lot. I had only met him over Zoom before this. We started seeing each other a couple times a week. Quite quickly it grew into a truly amazing, loving relationship. I’ve stayed in counselling throughout as it wasn’t easy to process the sudden ending of my long term marriage at the same time as beginning something new. It’s been about 7 months now.

My ex-husband eventually decided he wanted to try to save the marriage again, but I declined. He says I’m TA for starting a new relationship so quickly (within 6 weeks of him leaving). Our relationship was over as I can no longer trust him, and he has hurt me immensely. I do not want a relationship with someone I cannot trust. Am I TA for moving on?

My husband is mixed (black father and a white mother). I am white. We have two beautiful children. They look completely different and everyone always comments on how different their complexion is. Our oldest has beautiful caramel skin with brown eyes and is almost as dark as my husband. Our second is white with a hint of a yellow undertone and will have either green or hazel eyes. He looks yellowish in person but in pictures is very white. His face is also much lighter than his body. Our son is 6 months old.

For the first 2-3 months, our son was darker and my husband was happy. But he began to get lighter as the months went on. His eyes also changed from very dark grey to blue/grey on the outside with brown in the middle. He was born with VERY dark hair and now has blonde hair. I (and my entire family) have green/blue eyes. My hair is now dark brown, but it was blonde for the first 8 years of my life. My MIL is blonde with hazel eyes.

When the baby began to appear lighter, my husband asked for a paternity test due to his friends and coworkers all bringing up how light our second child is. I obliged because I know that my husband would’ve let the wound fester and hold resentment towards me and the baby as he’s had multiple friends have women cheat. He’s also been cheated on and gets weird about things like that.

The paternity test was an oral DNA swab and I did not touch any portion of it because I didn’t want him to come back and say it was because I did something. The only thing I did was place it in the mail with him watching me. The results showed that he is the father.

We did the test when the baby was 4 months old. He hasn’t really brought it up but I can tell that how light our son is really bothers him.

Tonight, he started saying that he didn’t think the baby was his and that he wasn’t the father. Our oldest heard and said “yes you are our daddy.” He mentioned it multiple times throughout the night. He said that he won’t be a father to him because he’s not a black child. And that about broke me. Baby boy deserves the world and I want to make sure his dad is active in his life.

We have not had issues with trust prior to this and I have not done anything to warrant this. I love him and he’s an amazing father to our oldest. He does play with the baby and will care for him. But he always makes little comments about who his dad might be. I’m worried that those comments will affect our oldest and the little one on a subconscious level. They also hurt me.

I have encouraged him to go get another paternity test done via blood draw if he really felt that our son way not his.

I guess I need advice on how to deal with this.

All these picky people, yet most of them are alone at home, typing from their parents' basement. People place too much emphasis on looks and money, when what they really should look for in a partner are simple things like being nice, and that the person is attracted to them.

I will date any nice woman who is into me. Plus, I am not Brad Pitt, so I shouldn't expect to score some ridiculously hot model or something.

This is no shade to the wait staff themselves, moreso just the concept of a waiter. At something like a coffee shop you simply go up to the front, order your food and drink, and then sit down at a table to enjoy it. Genuinely I find this experience waaaaaaaay more enjoyable than having to wait for someone to take your order, calling them over if you need another drink or item, getting interrupted to be asked how your food is, and then having to tip for their service when you're done.

I know I could kind of solve this by just not going to sit down places with waiters, but sometimes the food I want is only available at those types of restaurants. I wish more places would just let you go up and grab your order when it's ready, I don't need to be waited on hand and foot by a server.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is

Originally posted to

My sister slept with my boyfriend and I sent her a really cruel message that I don't regret at all

Thanks to & for suggesting this BoRU

Triggers Warnings: infidelity, manipulation, entitlement

: February 2, 2024

Sorry but this post will have A LOT of bad energy and I'm terrible at writing in English so If anyone is going to read the post, I'm sorry for all the grammatical errors that are likely to be in the post. :P

So a few days ago I (F25) found out that my sister (24f) has been sleeping with my boyfriend (now ex, 25m. We dated for three years) for one year or probably more.

They always had a close relationship but I obviously took it as something innocent, I don't like video games but my sister does so they talked a lot by text and I thought it was about games they like until I found out that no, they talked a lot about their secret dates while I was working and in college, I found pictures, videos and a lot of other disgusting things in the chats between my ex and my sister. My pathetic sister found pleasure in asking my pathetic ex all the time if she's smarter or prettier than me, she even compared our private parts, wth (We're both pretty, she's actually thinner and prettier than me and even if she's an introvert she has her group of friends so I really don't understand where she got so much venom towards me, our parents never compared us or anything like that and she was always the one asking my ex to compare both of us in the chats.)

The first thing I did was throw all my ex-boyfriend's things out of the apartament, I insulted him in a thousand ways and I kept the PC that I gave him for Christmas.

I didn't speak a single word to my sister for over a week and she didn't contacted me like the coward she is until yesterday when she sent me a message trying to justify herself by saying that it was a mistake (Yes, a mistake that lasted more than a year) and that I should forgive her because we're sisters and blah blah blah at one point I thought "Should I be the mature person in the situation who doesn't let resentment speak for her?" but then I realized that I've never been that kind of person. I took my phone and wrote a long message to my sister that I would love to write here but I am sure that I would break the rules since I called her out in every possible way and I wrote a lot of personal things too, I told her how much of a failure she is and how she has always envied me and that's why she needed to feel what it's like to be me for a second of her sad life.

She sended me a voice massage crying and saying that she's in a very weak moment mentally (but she's still with him, lmao) and I shouldn't make her feel worse and that she regrets it, I just reacted to her message with this emoji 😂 and didn't even heard the long voice message until the end.

Was it a low thing to attack her with all her flaws? Yes, but it's lower to betray your sister and believe that she's going to forgive you just because you share blood with her.

Honestly, I feel really good after sending her that message and feel that it was Therapeutic to take out everything I feel to give closure to that.

Btw I've never used a PC for gaming but I'm looking for tutorials on YouTube about how to download the SIMS.

I helped my sister in every moment of her life, I literally fought for her when she was being bullied during High school, I helped her thousands of times to make friends, I even accompanied her everywhere she wanted, it is a betrayal that really hurts and I will never forgive, never. It hurts me that she slept with someone I loved, but it hurts me a lot all the things I read in those chats, how she enjoyed watching him compare me to her or how she asked him about personal things about our relationship just to laugh at it. She's dead to me and my parents knows it.

I don't even care if I'm a bad person like them, this is something I can't forgive and I don't even feel bad for my reaction.

Edit: I posted half of the message

Relevant Comments

OOP on her parents’ reaction of the relationships between her sister and her boyfriend

OOP: My mother was disgusted and my father was angry but they only comforted me until I left their house, I don't know what they talked to my sister about afterwards and I don't want to ask but they will probably cut contact with her.

She just said that it was a mistake and in the voice message she only talked about how weak she feels mentally and that she has been having anxiety attacks even though I didn't heard the full audio because it lasts +4 minutes and I was getting even more pissed off with her just wanting to be the victim so i stopped the audio almost in the end.

She never explained why she said all those ugly things about me because everything was about her having "anxiety attacks"

: February 2, 2024

Thank you for all the nice comments you left me! Many wrote to me with tips for the sims and I'm really grateful, thanks for the game recommendations even though I'm really bad at playing action game, The last action game I played was Resident Evil 4 on the PS2 long time ago and it was because I had a crush with Leon Kennedy (he would never cheat on me btw).

As a token of appreciation (And because I also like it when the op uploads the whole gossip), I will put here half of the message I sent to my sister.

The message I sent her was really long and I cut out the parts where I talk about very private things or when I insulted her to not make the post too uncomfortable because I was really hurt and angry at that moment and I talked about many personal things in the text. I will put the copy of the message in the end if someone talks Spanish. I'm sorry if it sounds weird in English, I did my best to translate it and I had to remove a lot of parts.

"I'm not interested in hearing any of your excuses, I believed you when a problem she had with her ex-friend group happened because I really trusted that you would never do something like that but now I understand why everyone leaves you alone and you deserve it.

What you did to me is a shit and you know it but you didn't care because you spent a year being the whore of ex name without any shame and now that I found out everything you went days without talking to me because you are a coward and on top of that you still don't care about what you did to me, You're only talking to me because Dad probably stopped talking to you and you're running out of money, so you want to fix this shit so he gives you money again. You were always an asshole but don't you think it's a lot to be my boyfriend's second woman? How little respect do you have for yourself? We're sisters, I don't even know what's going on in your head because I don't understand what's wrong with you. Girl, I read all the messages between you and you even started comparing our bodies, YOU'RE SICK.

You know that I never did anything for you to do this to me and I loved you. But everything turned out really well for you because he's with you so enjoy that feeling and the love you two have for the other for now because you are going to be really lonely later and you are going to go back to your cave but this time I am not going to be there to pity you like everytime I did before.

Stay with him, there's nothing that interests me less than fighting for an idiot who is surely going to leave you but let me make it clear to you that you're not going to hear about me again, this dies here, we are not sister's anymore. If I see you on the street then I'm going to cross to the opposite sidewalk to not see you."

(Editor’s note: OOP’s original message in Spanish)

"No me interesa escuchar ninguna de tus excusas, yo te creí cuando pasó lo de a problem she had with her ex-friend group porque de verdad confié en que vos nunca harías algo así pero ahora entiendo por qué todos te dejan sola y te lo mereces.

Lo que me hiciste es una cagada y vos lo sabes pero no te importó porque estuviste un año siendo la trola de ex name sin ninguna vergüenza y ahora que me enteré de todo estuviste días sin hablarme porque sos re cagona y encima te sigue sin importar lo que me hiciste, solamente me estás hablando porque papá seguramente te cortó el rostro y te estás quedando sin plata así que querés arreglar tu cagada para que te vuelvan a depositar. Siempre fuiste una pelotuda fracasada pero no te parece un montón rebajarte a ese nivel de ser la segunda de mi novio? Tan poco respeto te tenés a vos misma? Somos hermanas, no sé ni que está pasando por tu cabeza porque posta no entiendo que te pasa. Flaca, leí todos los mensajes entre ustedes y te ponías a comparar nuestros cuerpos, estás re enferma.

Vos sabes que yo nunca te hice nada para que vos me hagas esto y te re quería, igual te salió re bien porque el está con vos así que disfruta por ahora ese amor que se tienen porque después te vas a quedar sola de verdad y vas a volver a tu cueva pero esta vez no voy a estar yo para tenerte lastima como siempre hice antes.

Quédate con el, no hay nada que me interese menos que pelear por un idiota que seguramente te va a dejar pero que te quede claro que de mi no vas a volver a escuchar, acá muere, no somos más hermanas y si te veo en la calle me cruzo de vereda."

Edit: Yes, I'm from Argentina :)

: May 17, 2024

They broke up nobody's surprised

When all of this happened my parents scolded my sister and she got offended and didn't speak to our parents except to ask them for money, she asked them for money to buy things for her career but then my aunt told my parents that my sister actually used that money to buy my ex some sneakers.

My parents never gave her any money from that day on, she's an idiot tbh. My parents started to pay for us to go to a private college and the only thing we have to do is literally STUDY, The only thing she had to do was take her studies seriously but she didn't, so my father got tired and hasn't sent her money for months.

My ex discovered the post because he said it went viral in Facebook and obviously he recognized the story, he contacted me to apologize and said he knows he did wrong by hurting me like that but my sister 'manipulated him' and it was a total mistake, I told him he can shove his apologies in the ass.

Meanwhile, my sister and I have only crossed paths a few times, but she always avoids me because she thinks I'm going to hit her (I won't). We're not going to the same career so we luckily don't see each other too much

Anyway, a few days ago she went to our parents' house saying that she broke up with my ex (idk why) And that she felt really sad and had an anxiety attack, I don't know exactly what they talked about since I wasn't there but my mother told me that she told my sister that she knew what was going to happen when she slept with him and my sister justified herself by saying that 'They're in love' so my mother and her just argued again and my sister left. Now she doesn't talk to anyone in the family except our grandmother to ask for money, I know my sister is not going to change her bad habits and she didn't learn anything from this, I even think she will get together with my ex again because they're just toxic with each other but it's her life to ruin, not mine and I don't care anymore.

The bright side: I sold the pc to a guy from reddit that saw my post and that really saved me from having to keep paying the dues, unfortunately I didn't get to play The Sims much but I prefer the extra money. My ex had told me that he wanted the pc back but I told him that then he should pay the remaining dues AND HE SAID NO, so the idiot wanted the pc for free even though he slept with my sister. 🥴

The weird side: There are YouTubers who are literally charging their subscribers to read the post or other reddit posts, tf, at least give me a share of the profits.

I'm know it's a boring update and probably everyone wanted that the update was my sister begging for forgiveness and my ex suffering but no, they are just two idiots who deserve each other and nothing more happened but even today I received a message asking me for an update, haha.

Relevant Comments

OOP on if she forgives her sister and her boyfriend

OOP: I'm going to go ahead and not forgive them, I can do both at the same time.

And no, I don't forgive my sister and i don't want her to forget this AND I don't want to see her again. In a few years I'll remember these two idiots and laugh, but that doesn't mean they deserve my forgiveness.

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

Hey all

A while back I shared a story about a guy who wanted the admin password so he could install some malware on his work pc. Not too long ago I had to handle his "retirement", so yeah, you guys called that one.

Problem is that I'm still handling a lot of tech debt from the previous guy who handled this client's infrastructure, this was a real piece of work. I'm talking 10yo server OS thats EoL 3 yrs prior to me starting there and nobody will fork out the cash to upgrade it, busted filesystem ACLs from a botched recovery of a ransomware attack several years prior, the client being firmly of the mindset of "it just works so dont touch it"... you know, just normal small msp sysadmin stuff.

Anyway, Client reaches out to me in a panic one monday morning. Turns out our favorite idiot "retired" and nobody thought to tell me to lock down his pc or make sure he didnt do anything stupid... like delete the entire shared folder.

Now about this system - The backups... dont work. I've been sounding the alarm on this for months and everyone just goes "yeah thats a problem, we need to bill the client for a new solution, ill get onto that hmmmmmmm never". Fortunately for this client, a few weeks back I had made a complete copy of his entire share folder to put onto a different drive, but never finished moving shares across nor had I deleted these files (he has 3 raid arrays, but someone in their infinite wisdom thought that the best place to put all company data was on a split partition on the OS array. I hope the guy I replaced got put in an asylum).

Fortunately I was able to recover most of the files for the client but he tried to blame me for this, which I swiftly 180'd with a dozen emails of me hounding my boss and him about how these backups are busted and I need this and this and this to fix them because your server is woefully out of date and everyone expects the latest and greatest software to run on decade old equipment and cost literally nothing.

Anyway, I'm looking for a new job, it's only a matter of time before this place gets hit by a ransomware attack and the client's stubbornness and my boss's eagerness to please is going to result in bus sized tire marks all over my torso.

(Quick aside to anyone who's about to comment about how I need to get my manager or my HR involved - this MSP is tiny. I'm signed on to be I.T. Support but I do everything. I might as well be self-employed. Trust me when I say the answer is to wash my hands clean and move on)