r/relationships

I (26 f) and my husband (29 m) have been together for 5 years and married for 6 months. We had our first child a year and a half ago.

When we first started our relationship, I opened up to him about my past being bi-sexual and asked him if he has ever done anything with the same sex. He said no and we went on about life for 5 years.

This weekend, we took a family vacation and while we were there he started a conversation with a man he knew back when he lived in this city before we met. He told me he wanted to go for a walk around the property, which I let him go alone because I was putting out baby ti bed. On this walk, he planned to meet this guy at the hotel for a quickie… but never went through with it

We get back home and a few days later her left his phone at home on his way to work. I picked up his phone to text his boss and I saw everything. The dirty text, pictures… even planning to meet the first week of July which is my birthday weekend.

When I brought it up to him he begged for forgiveness but I was so shocked I couldn’t breath. He told me that this is a part of him that he’s regressed for a long time and he thought it was gone until he was back in the city where he had those experiences. He told me that we could work on things but… I can’t look at him and see the man I love anymore.

He was cheated on in his last relationship and he’s always been very adamant about the fact that if I ever cheated on him that I would be kicked out. (Understandably)

…but I’m at a cross road

1.) Do I: Stay and try to make this work despite my perception of the man I had envisioned being completely warped after how I saw him.

2.) Do I: Leave while I still have a chance. My dad cheated on my mom all throughout my childhood and I vowed that I’ll never let that happen to me. It would give me the chance to focus on myself and not on him and his needs and wants over mine.

Can we make this work even though I personally feel like the past 5 years has been a lie? Will I ever be able to be pregnant by him again and feel the same love I did the first time? Will I be able to raise a family now knowing that there is a potential for this again?

TL;DR : my husband recently came out as bi-sexual after I found him texting another man and I don’t know what to do our how to feel.

TL;DR My husband messaged on his friends group chat that “marriage is overrated” whilst we were on our honeymoon because we had a few disagreements at the time. I’m utterly hurt and feel completely disrespected.

These arguments were mostly about the following topics:

1. as a newly married couple we were spending a week during our honeymoon staying over with his aunties and uncle (we went to his home country). I don’t speak their language, it was extremely awkward and I had no privacy.

2. we didn’t even plan the honeymoon together, his friend had recently gotten married as well and was headed to the same place so he my husband just copied this idea from him and decided everything himself (his friend ended up going to Dubai which was a much lovelier experience for the other couple).

3. when we headed to another part of the country alone, he was trying to do everything under the sun rather than spend time indoors with me. Felt like I received absolutely no love, we were constantly out doing this activity and that activity. This wasn’t how I imagined my honeymoon with my husband to be.

Any other arguments that occurred were because the truth of it is I didn’t feel like my husband was giving me much attention, I tried to keep up but the truth is I was utterly upset.

The comment made has hurt me deeply and honestly I don’t feel like I came look at him the same. He broke my trust completely. Am I overreacting to his comment and how do I overcome the hurt within myself?

My bf and I have been together for 2.5 years. He bought a home recently and has been fixing it up with his dad. His dad and his dad’s gf have been coming up to stay with us frequently now. I’m talking every single week.

Sometimes my bf won’t give me a notice and his parents don’t text me to let me know either. So last minute I’ll have to get told they’ll be here for a week and rush to go grocery shopping and get the house prepped. They bring their two dogs and we have a cat that doesn’t get along too well with them. Our cat ends up stressed out. Not only that, but having guests over all the time I feel like I can’t get into a routine or fully relax in my own home.

Yesterday, they came back up to help with the house after we just spent an entire week with them on vacation. I didn’t have 24 hours to get settled back in before they came to stay with us. My bf told me last second, he said that there was a mishap at the house and they’d need to stay with us.

I got upset because I was planning on talking to him about a serious matter, and then now I wouldn’t be able to since it would be inappropriate since his family was at our home. I feel like it just keeps getting pushed off because we never have “the right time”. Not only that, but our house wasn’t ready to have guests since we just got back from vacation.

I got stressed and snappy with him and I feel really bad because it’s out of his control. I just get put in a bad mood when things switch up on me so quick.

I want to add that the home he bought is his, his name only on the title. I help out where I can, yesterday he didn’t need my help since it was a lot of technical stuff being done.

How do I handle this moving forward? Should I just shut my mouth until the project is done?

Tl;dr My bf parents have been staying with us weekly and I am losing my mind