Me and my husband have been together for over nine years and separating our finances never occurred to me until this past year.
I'm the saver and he's the spender. In the beginning it didn't bother me because we had two incomes and wasn't rich but lived comfortably.
His family has always "borrowed" money from us but rarely ever pay that money back. I personally don't lend money not even to family but I do not stop him from lending to his.
A few years ago my husband was in a bad car wreck and can no longer work so I became the sole breadwinner. He now gets disability but that was a four year process. In that time we dwindled our savings to nothing and came close to losing everything. Our debt mounted and there was nothing I could do.
When he received his back pay I only asked him to pay off his vehicle a loan in which I've paid over 50 grand on in the last few years and put some in savings.
He did neither. Instead he blew the money. Loaning over 10 grand to his family and paying nothing towards the debt we created.
During this time I was able to save some money from my paycheck but not much and had plans to pay some debts off once I have enough saved. He knew I was saving to do this.
About a month ago I noticed over 700 missing out our savings and I asked him what happened!?! He replied with I loaned it to my parents. I asked when he was going to receive it back because that money was already spent and I needed it. He said I don't know when they can afford to.
I blew up an lost my shit. He didn't ask me, we didn't speak about it. He did it behind my back because he knew it would piss me off and I would say no if he asked. We had a huge fight. I figured after that fight he would stop. But no...
Yesterday I checked my account and another thousand dollars was gone. Gone where u ask? He gave it his parents. I'm so mad I see red.
I flat out told him that as of today I'm done with his parents. I'll pay half the household bills buy our food and that's it. If he wants to lend all his disability to them fine but I'm not gonna go bust my ass 60 hours a week so he can keep giving our money away.
So AITA for going to the bank and withdrawing all the money I put there and opening a new account he don't have access to? He seems to think I am and says that I should want to make his parents happy. I would like to see them happy I just don't want to pay for that happiness.
My son and my nephew are both 6 years old and were placed in the same class at the start of this year. My sister has loved it for my nephew. He's autistic and has a lot of trouble socializing and with overstimulation. He's known to have meltdowns in class and there were times my son was asked to stay with him while the class was evacuated. I had to step in and speak to the teacher as well as the principal about this because my son was terrified. They were "seat friends" all year and they are the only two kids who never got a new seat friend. The teacher kept them together because she was worried my nephew would be bullied by other kids. But it was hard for my son. He's very shy and introverted and sometimes my nephew getting upset would upset him. My son was also used to supply my nephew with pencils and other tools when my nephew would break them.
My sister was so happy they were together. My son was miserable and I hated seeing him that way. My sister went to the school a month ago and requested they be kept together next grade. She mentioned it in passing during a family BBQ. I asked her why she did this and she told me it's working great for my nephew. I told her it wasn't working out great for my son and while I love my nephew, I don't want my son to feel like he always has to be responsible for his cousin. She told me I should think of the greater good and encourage them to stay together.
I went to the school afterward and requested the boys be placed in separate classrooms next grade. I told them my son did not deserve to have his education interrupted in order to help my nephew. I made it clear I was not okay with keeping them together. I also brought up again that I had not liked how they had handled things over the last year. The school agreed to separate them.
We got notified of the classrooms and teachers last week. My sister was furious when she realized they were separated. She asked how I could do that to my nephew. I should think of the impact this will have on him. I told her I love my nephew, always have, but I need to look out for my son. She told me it will never be as bad for my son as it will be for my nephew and we could have figured out a way to make it work better for both boys.
AITA?