EDIT: I am not slacking off at home while she does her chores. I work hard myself. When HER parents need help, it's I who pays for literally all of their medical expenses. When her brother needed help, it's I who gave him money.

Why? Because they are MY in-laws, and he's MY brother-in-law. I think it's my responsibility to look after their parents. She thinks it's her responsibility to look after mine in another way. It's absolutely NOT one-sided on my part.

My wife Lisa and I have been together for a while. She has a colleague named Madison (she also works from home), who visited us yesterday with her boyfriend, Ian. My parents are sick & live with us. Madison was surprised when she saw them and asked, "You didn't send them to a nursing home?" I was annoyed and said no.

She then asked who did most of the work, and I said it was Lisa. She replied, "I'm sorry she's married a misogynist like you, forcing her into slavery by making her take care of your parents." I snapped, "Didn't you divorce your husband when he lost his job? Lisa told me that."

She asked what that was supposed to mean. I said, "Someone raised in a culture that considers marriage disposable isn't someone to take advice from." She yelled, but Lisa sided with me. Ian sided with Madison. Madison said I had no right to comment on her life. I said, "Stop interfering in others' lives then."

We argued, and Ian said I couldn't talk to her like that. I called him a manchild who follows her like a puppy and told him to fuck off.

AITA?

My son and my nephew are both 6 years old and were placed in the same class at the start of this year. My sister has loved it for my nephew. He's autistic and has a lot of trouble socializing and with overstimulation. He's known to have meltdowns in class and there were times my son was asked to stay with him while the class was evacuated. I had to step in and speak to the teacher as well as the principal about this because my son was terrified. They were "seat friends" all year and they are the only two kids who never got a new seat friend. The teacher kept them together because she was worried my nephew would be bullied by other kids. But it was hard for my son. He's very shy and introverted and sometimes my nephew getting upset would upset him. My son was also used to supply my nephew with pencils and other tools when my nephew would break them.

My sister was so happy they were together. My son was miserable and I hated seeing him that way. My sister went to the school a month ago and requested they be kept together next grade. She mentioned it in passing during a family BBQ. I asked her why she did this and she told me it's working great for my nephew. I told her it wasn't working out great for my son and while I love my nephew, I don't want my son to feel like he always has to be responsible for his cousin. She told me I should think of the greater good and encourage them to stay together.

I went to the school afterward and requested the boys be placed in separate classrooms next grade. I told them my son did not deserve to have his education interrupted in order to help my nephew. I made it clear I was not okay with keeping them together. I also brought up again that I had not liked how they had handled things over the last year. The school agreed to separate them.

We got notified of the classrooms and teachers last week. My sister was furious when she realized they were separated. She asked how I could do that to my nephew. I should think of the impact this will have on him. I told her I love my nephew, always have, but I need to look out for my son. She told me it will never be as bad for my son as it will be for my nephew and we could have figured out a way to make it work better for both boys.

AITA?

I had to speed up the process of actually talking to her since the story spread quickly around on the internet, inevitably reaching someone involved with friends or family and now way more people i personally know are getting the details than I'm comfortable with

Oh well my bad lol

Before I ended up chatting with her, I opened up to my parents and sister about what was happening in detail. My parents were flustered at me hiding the more unsavory details to say the least and are probably going to be checking up on me daily for the rest of the year to make sure I'm ok. My sister would probably have to be held back from thrashing her, so I had to get a friend to help with the chat since my sister would not be able to contain herself

So basically, within hours of the story going into the digital stratosphere I called my wife back as quickly as I could to finally sit down and talk. We chose a local park this morning and I had a friend of mine record the conversation from beginning to end. I was bacially ready to hear the generic affair story and get out of dodge

But of course it got complicated.

We met at a section with picnic tables and picked one as far away from other people to avoid them getting wrapped up in any awkwardness. She looked terrible. Haggard, stressed, and thankfully without the baby. She tried to have the big emotional chat and what not. I wasn't tearing up or acting like the hardened badass. I frankly was just wanting to figure out what this was all for

I didn't even get to ask the question before the floodgates spilled. I'm going to attempt to relay this story as best as I can because even looking back on the recording it's a mess, but also, it's because I don't 100% believe it, so fair warning, it could all be fake

This all started with her mother. As I said before my wife's father was absent. He sarted off well, having 2 sons with her mother before herm l. When her mother got pregnant with her, her father went from being the picture perfect guy he was at first and slowly changed into a negligent, abusive, unfaithful, and unsupportive jackass, ending with him disappearing when her mother was delivering. He's been in and out of prison since. No one knows why he did it. The impression her mother always gave was a strong resilient woman who withstood anything life threw at her and did anything for her kids. She has claimed to be in therapy for years. In reality, she has managed to conceal a deep hatred for men outside of her sons, but according to my wife there was favoritism towards her. My wife also found out she stopped therapy almost a decade ago but never told anyone.

Her mother seemed to always have some slight against me and now i know why. She was never hostile, but certainly wasn't warm to me, and hearing about her secret hatred, I kinda knew where this was going. Roughly about half a year before she got pregnant, my MIL slowly began sowing seeds of doubt and bitterness into my wife. Apparently she had a full mental break. She told her about me staying late at work possibly hiding an affair. Or that myself providing majority on the income setting her up for a hard divorce. Everything my MILs husband did to her, she convinced my wife I would do to her, and she pumped this poison into her for months. My wife always idolized her mother, and compounding that with anxiety she's suffered from for years, she dove in deep.

As soon as she got pregnant, like on the dot, she fell into a mental hole within days. And that's when her mother got hold of her again. Hearing about her pregnancy apparently triggered something fierce in my MIL and it spiraled from there. She had my wife fully convinced it was happening again

Every single thing my wife did to hurt me was at the behest of my MIL. Combined with pregnancy hormones, an undiagnosed mental illness she claims to have (no confirmation), and stress, she completely lost her mind. She 100% believed I would bail, so she was punishing me first, culminating in her moving in with her mother and leaving me out of the birth

While I was sending the papers and started the divorce proceedings, she kicked into full blown post partum depression. And when her mother finally got her, when she finally beat me, which I guess was her victory over her ex (did I mention she's fucking crazy), she had no more use of my wife. The family involved in the birth included my MILs sister and my wife's brothers. While my MIL and her sister knew what was going on, my BILs got fed the bs narrative my MIL spun. When my MIL was done with her plan, the entire facade came down and my BILs found out everything upon questioning my wife. They were horrified.

Needless to say, postpartum, facing a very grueling divorce on her side, no longer welcome in our home, and having done everything to alienate me from my son at the behest of a broken lunatic, reality hit her like a truck. She torched her entire life because her mother is a broken shell of a human who used her to enact her own sense of justice. The very mother who washed her hands of her after she got what she wanted

Or at least this is the story she gave me

Frankly, there are many holes in her story. The starting point of the pattern of abuse, the claims of who was involved in the delivery, me being absent from appointments, the friend (who she confirmed is female) she's staying with, and of course, my alleged sons paternity.

It seems way too fucking crazy to be made up. Who the hell would go to the effort to make this up facing what she's facing?

As soon as she finished, she said she's setting up a paternity test and gave me the info I need. Within luck it should be done in roughly a week or so once i do my part. She gave the most sincere apologies any human being has ever given. She's begged for another chance. I was frankly, to stunned to say anything, so she left and promised to call soon

I don't think I can give her another chance. I don't think I can ever risk anything like this again.

God I'm still hoping she's just being a cheating psycho and spinning a sympathy story to try and throw me off, because this got way too complicated

My wife has been complaining recently that our kids always seem to prefer spending time with me over her. They never go to her for anything they need, it's always me.

I just answered that it's because I spend more time with them than she does. She stated that I don't so I broke it down for her just point blank.

Both kids are young and need parental supervision for everything.

They wake between 5.30am and 6am. I am the one who gets up with them every single morning.

Wife gets up at 7.30am weekdays and about 9am weekends.

Low end that's 13.5 hours I spend more with them.

I also do bedtime for both kids. That takes about 1 hour a night for baths and stories etc. that's another 7 hours a week.

Wife also says she gets stressed / touched out a lot, I often take the kids with me to the supermarket or to the park or something to let her have along bath in peace or an afternoon nap. Probably around 3.5 hours a week if we also.add in that I'm the one who also takes kids to all extra curriculars and picks them up.

She does not ever have the kids on her own, the longest she does is the time it takes me to have a shower and dressed each morning.

So I just broke it down plainly like above. I effectively spend a full actual day more a week with them. I didn't say it in any kind of a moaning way or anything like that, I do actually really enjoy spending time with them so I'm quite happy with the arrangement.

I just feel that she can't complain that the kids don't want to spend time with her when she spends proportionally so much less of her time with them.

An I the asshole for pointing this out?

I am not OOP. OOP is They posted on

Editor's Note: I did some mild editing for readability, mainly adding paragraphs and periods. I didn't add any comments because this is already very long, but most of the comments were in support of OOP.

Trigger Warning: Domestic violence, child abuse, descriptions of physical violence, drug use

February 17, 2024

People of Reddit I need some advice and judgment.

I 49M am a single father of three children. My wife passed away of cancer when my oldest was 13. It was very difficult for me to raise them, I would work 12-16 hour shifts and would not be home most of the time. I was thankful that my kids were strong and independent.

I would like to give a little background on myself. I grew up in an abusive household. My dad would physically abuse my mom and also beat my siblings and me. I have four younger siblings, three of them being girls. I was the oldest and would try to take the beatings for them. When I was old enough and strong enough I squared up against my father. I did so as many times as I needed to. I never let him put his hands on them. My father ended up going to prison for battery and we moved states.

My kid's current ages are 24M, 21F, 17F. My daughters still live with me since they are going to college but my son has moved out and made his life. My son has gotten a girlfriend and I have met her. She is a sweet, loving, and soft-natured girl and I genuinely like her. She reminds me of my wife when she was younger. I invite my son and his girlfriend over for lunch and dinners quite often. They have now been dating for three years and she would sometimes come over and help my daughters out with college stuff or just come over to hang out with them. I love her as family and have told her so.

Four weeks ago she came over and when I opened the door the first thing I saw was that she had a busted lip, and a black eye, and her eye seemed to be dyed in blood. I immediately took her in and helped her. My daughters were also alarmed when they saw her and when we asked her what happened she told us that my son was the one who did it to her. I cried at hearing that and I hugged her and begged her for my forgiveness. She told us all about it and apologized for not telling us sooner. This wasn't the first time he had hit her. I've asked her if she has told her parents or the cops and she said that we were the first people she felt like going to. I cried. I reassured her that she was safe there and not to worry. I asked my daughters to clean up a spare bedroom for her as she would be staying.

I cannot describe how I was feeling but you guys can imagine it. I spent hours just staring at the black TV screen looking at my reflection. A few days after she came to us, I invited my son over for dinner. I had her consent and knowledge to do so first. My son came over and I instructed my daughters to keep her in their rooms and to pretend they weren't there.

When my son knocked on my door and I saw him again, I felt sick and my blood boiled but I kept my composure and we sat down to eat. I kept looking at his hands and knuckles and there were faint scrapes and marks.

I asked my son basic questions trying to seem normal and nice. But the whole time I didn't see him as my son anymore, I saw him as my father and I didn't like that feeling. He acted normal until I asked him how everything was with his girlfriend and he choked on his food for a moment and told me "Everything is fine, she's just busy with work and I haven't seen her in a while." I just nodded and said, "Oh, that's nice. Glad she's doing okay."

We finished eating and I washed the dishes. I stood right next to him and asked why he was beating his girlfriend. I said, "I think it's about time you stop bullshitting me about your girlfriend." He asked me what I was talking about and I told him to stand up and put his hands up. I knew everything and I was gonna show him what it's like to be the weaker person. Before he could say another word, I swung at him. Told him that this was the real deal.

I did not hold back. I was gonna teach my son what it feels like to get beat since he thought it was okay. I told him to keep his hands up and to defend himself. We fought, but I, of course, was gonna be the last one standing. I asked him how it felt to be weak, to be on the other end of it. He told me to stop, but I asked him if he stopped when she begged him to.

I didn't stop beating him until his girlfriend came downstairs and screamed at me to stop. He looked horrified at seeing her. I told him that he was lucky she didn't tell her dad because her dad would have made him bury his own grave. He was lucky no one told the cops because people in jail or prison aren't fond of men who beat women. That he was lucky I was not putting him down like the animal he is.

I told him how disgusting I felt being the father of a man who beats his girlfriend, that he was no longer part of this family and to get the fuck out of my house. That he was a disappointment to everyone in this house. Seeing how I left him reminded me of how she came to me. I tossed him some napkins and told him to clean himself up on the way to whatever shithole he came from. I cried once he limped out of the front door.

I told his girlfriend that moving forward was her choice and I would support her. If she chose to stay here she was more than welcome to, but if she chose to continue her relationship with him then I would be doing random welfare checks. I told her how sorry I was that something so horrible happened to her and that it was my fault.

It has been a few weeks since the fight. I didn't realize I had a broken nose but that is okay. She chose to end the relationship with him and she has been staying with us. I feel like shit. I keep seeing the red stains on the couch and carpet and I keep asking myself if I did the right thing, if there were other options. I no longer had a son and that hurt me. I do not know if I did the right thing. I've just been staring at my reflection on the TV. AITA?

February 20, 2024

Hello again people of Reddit. There were a lot of comments and many questions were asked. One in particular that I found very interesting and even showed my daughters was what would have been my plan if my son won. My daughters have instructed me to quote "The Great Kanye." " I Guess We'll Never Know." I'm Not sure if that's the saying but I got that out the way now.

There were a lot of you guys who recommended I reach out to my son so I did. Yesterday we agreed that I would go over to his apartment. I told my daughters and the ex that I would be going today to their brother's place. I asked the ex if she wanted me to grab some small things that she left over there.

I went over to his place at 8 in the morning so we could get it out of the way as soon as we could. He shook my hand but he kept his gaze low. His injuries seemed to be fine and were healing up nicely. He led me into his apartment and it was pretty messy. There were a lot of trash bags piled up and some of the walls had little dents in them. I mention this because I mentioned that I saw scrape marks on his hands earlier.

We made small talk first and then I brought up the idea of attending therapy but he shot me down. I told him that we needed to talk about his ex and his actions. He said, "I'm guessing she told you everything right?" I told him yes and asked him for the entire truth. It pretty much went like this: He lost his job 8 months ago after a huge layoff and was struggling with the bills so his ex had to cover for him. He felt like a loser compared to her because of it. He couldn't find a job and when she asked him about it, he snapped at her for trying to help him. That's pretty much how it started. After that, he just found it easy to smack her every time he felt less than her or if she made him look bad. I asked him a lot of questions, some vague some detailed but for the most part, it confirmed every story his ex had told us. So she wasn't lying to us.

I told him that I was sorry I didn't hear him out at first but that it was probably for the better that I didn't know the pathetic reasons he had for doing what he did. He did not apologize back or show any signs that he was remorseful for what he did. We continued to talk about it and things got very heated. He kept on making excuses for himself and trying to justify what he did. I told him under no conditions was it okay for him to beat his girlfriend. Just because life got hard for him and things weren't going his way, it does not excuse his shitty actions.

My son stood up and asked me why I couldn't have his back or take his side. I got up and asked him "In what way was I supposed to have your side?" I would in no way support his actions, that he was full of shit for even having the audacity to think I would support him beating his girlfriend. Each time I tried to give him advice or anything related to self-improving, he would get angry.

Things continued to escalate and I told him that unless he got his life and himself under control, he was not allowed near his sisters or my home. He continued to say that even now I only cared for his ex and not him. I told him to not play the poor victim and that he made his bed and now he has to lay in it. He cannot continue to blame others for his actions, much less think it was okay to do what he did. He was no longer a child but a grown man who made his choices. That every choice had its consequences.

I asked him for his ex's things and he told me that he broke them and showed me where they were. They were indeed smashed into pieces. I told him again how ashamed I was of him for being like this and told him that he needed to get help. That he needed to take control of his life again and needed to change. If he continued to act and do things like this he will end up in jail or dead. That he had to pull himself together for his sake. He told me to go fuck myself and so I did. I picked up his ex's broken things and put them in a bag before I left. AITA?

February 27, 2024

[ OOP recaps the previous posts ]

Since then my son has been texting me nasty things and my daughters have also told me that he has been asking them where his ex is. Claiming he wants to see her.

My siblings came over this weekend for a cookout I was hosting (my son wasn't invited). I told my family about the situation and they all agreed that my son turned out to be more like our father. We joked that we always expected one of the guys to be his replica (my brother and I). We all shared our crappiest experiences with our father and we answered more questions about our childhood to the ex and my daughters.

My mom spent most of the time with the ex and my daughters talking about the dangers of men and whatnot. I thought it was ironic but it is my mom and I can't say none to her even though I am 49. I couldn't even tell her to stop telling my daughters about how much trouble me and my brother used to cause.

A couple of hours into the cookout, the women were in the living room doing their thing while we guys were working in the garage fixing one of the cars. We heard loud banging and my sisters were yelling at us to get in there because some drunk guy was trying to kick down the door. It was my son. It wasn't too hard to realize that it was him because he was yelling the ex's name and yelling at her to open the door and to stop being a B word.

I told the women to just get away from the door. I opened the door and shoved him out of the door when he tried to force himself in. I told him to get the fuck away from the door and to stop acting like an idiot or else someone was gonna call the cops on him. I told him that he was not allowed near the house. He just told me to shut up and to let him see her. I told him that under no circumstances would he be allowed near any of the women let alone his ex. To leave because he was drunk and I offered to call an Uber for him since I didn't want him to drive drunk.

My brother in Law came out to see what was happening and my son ended up throwing a beer bottle at him. Not the best accuracy since it hit the window. My son just kept on getting aggressive and violent and started to approach me. The whole time he was just yelling at me to let him see her and that he wanted to talk. But only to her. His tantrum lasted about 10 minutes until the ex peeked out the window which resulted in him yelling "Bitch, I knew you were in there" and another beer bottle being thrown again, but this time it was accurate and it almost gave her a few facial scars with the broken glass from the window.

My brother came out at that point and we both stood in front of him and told him to leave or we would and call the police or knock him the fuck out if he continued to pose a threat to us. Long story short, my son lunged at us. It was a whole ordeal and a public show.

My brother held him in a chokehold until he was knocked out. My mom came out phone in hand and dialed 911. The police took a while and got there here in 20 minutes. We just sat on our son until they arrived and explained the whole thing to them. Everyone gave their statements and I gave the police the ring camera video as further proof. My son was put in cuffs and taken away (thank you to everyone who suggested cameras).

The ex is okay and so is everyone else. The women (except my mom) were shaken up. We went back inside and cleaned everything else up and it was awkward but we moved on from the incident. My mom was mad that I even allowed him to throw the second bottle.

My brother and I went outside and talked about my son and our father. He asked me if maybe I should have let my son see her or at least let him say his piece to her. It was a stupid question and he knew that, but it got me thinking. What if he wanted to apologize? What if he was there to reconcile, but I again escalated it? It's a stupid question, but I would like some outside opinions. I have not visited my son yet even though it has been two days since I saw him get put inside a cop car. AITA?

February 29, 2024

Hello everyone.

As everyone knows my son got arrested for the scene he caused a couple of days ago. My mother stayed with me and my family while everyone else left to go home. I have fixed both windows that my son broke and have made sure to fix the door because he sort of damaged the hinges. It has been a rough few days and it has been hard on me. My daughters have visited their brother in jail for me and they have told me that he looks like a total mess. The ex has told me that she would like to go see how he is doing and I agreed to it.

Yesterday, we went to visit him and he did look terrible. I let his ex talk to him first for a few minutes while I talked to the officers in charge of his case. He was being charged trespassing, drunk and disorderly, battery, damage to property, possession of illegal narcotics, and a few other charges. It was not fun hearing that your son was going to be locked up for a while. As I waited for the ex to finish talking, I thought a lot about what I would say to him or if I should say anything at all. If I should even show myself to him. It was just very conflicting.

When the ex came out she looked very sad and heartbroken. I didn't ask what they spoke about. I walked in and he looked very angry to see me. I sat down and asked him how he was doing. We had a basic conversation, but it was going nowhere.

I told him that I never wanted to see him locked up or be in this situation. I tried to explain how hurt I was, but he just asked me if I was going to get him out because " it was bullshit and I don't deserve to be in here." I tried to be patient and let him talk but all he was saying was arrogant, ignorant, and stupid.

I explained to him that I was only here to see him one last time and that I wasn't gonna lift a finger to help him. He got angry and started cussing at me. I told him that he chose this and that his actions had consequences. He started to blame me for his arrest and I snapped at him. I told him that he could not live his pathetic life blaming his actions and choices on others and that he needed to stop being a pathetic POS. Even after I gave him a reality check and tried to show him humility, even after I tried to offer him help and support, he chose to continue being a terrible person.

It got quiet after I snapped at him and he apologized to me. He told me that he was sorry for what he did but I told him that it was too late for him to apologize. He started to tear up but I told him to stop with the poor victim play. He got angry at me and told me the same thing he told me the other time--that I never chose his side and that it was my fault.

I told him that his grampa was the same way--always blaming others for his shit and taking out his feelings and failures on the people he loves. I told him the same thing I told my father when he got locked away--that he was just a filthy animal who deserved to be locked up. Everyone in the family will forget that he exists and move on and be happy without him. I will probably retire, his sisters will move out and on with their lives and have their own families, his ex will move on from the horrible experience that he was. The world will continue to spin while he is here locked up. Everyone will move on with their lives. He just sat there quietly with tears running down his face. I felt terrible seeing him like that but it is what it is.

The last thing I told him was that he was officially disowned and that I would be getting a restraining order. That he was no longer my son and to forget about me and his family. He told me that I can go fuck myself before I left.

When we got home I just went straight to the garage and continued to work on my car. I didn't want to speak to anyone. I'm guessing the pressure of the situation finally got to me. Now I'm just typing this as a sort of distraction. I will go to his hearing. I do not know how to feel. I know what I said to him was shitty, and it makes me sad to think that those might be the last words he will ever hear from me. I'm guessing that is what I wanted to ask AITA.

May 13, 2024

Hello everyone. I would like to apologize first for not responding to everyone's comments and to some peoples dms. I've been pretty busy with life and a lot has happened. Thank you to everyone who has shown support and have commented very nice things.

I would like to start off by saying that my daughters are doing excellent, a bit sad after the court hearing but they are handling it well. I spoke with the ex's family about what had happened and have made peace with them. I think they like me? Not sure, the handshake was extra firm from the father. Her injuries have healed up nicely and so have mine. My nose ain't funny shaped anymore. Yes she decided to stay under my wing for a bit longer. My mother has been... very much a thorn in my side ever since the incident which is fine and all. I'll probably make another AITA post asking on advice about it. I have been feeling down and lazy. I wanted to get out, smell the roses, see something nice. You know what I mean.

My son's hearing was a couple weeks ago and everyone attended, including me, despite everything I have said or felt or done. I know I cannot explain my feelings or thought process well but I had to be there. It was one of the saddest experiences in my life. As much as I hate what my son became, I still loved him and hearing him get sentenced for 12 years for illegal drug possession and assault ( and many other charges) was not easy. I took a short break from everything just to give me time to deflate. I went on a camping trip with all my daughters. I thought it was fun, almost got mauled by a bear but that's part of the fun. I became (hood certified) according to my daughters over the food I made on the grill. I'm gonna be honest. I do not know what that means but it sounds like they liked the food.

I have many regrets about how I handled the whole situation now that time has passed and the fog in my head was cleared. I did so many things wrong and did so many unnecessary things, said shit that no father should ever tell his son. I make no excuses for my actions. I fucked up and I will live with my choices. I hope and pray that in the future I will be a better man and so will my son. I want to forgive him, I want him to forgive me, I want his sisters to forgive him. I.. just want my whole family back. But like everything life is unpredictable but I stay optimistic. A lot of people shot me personal dms and I have read all of them. For those who I haven't replied to, sorry, I got very shy from how nice you guys were.

My daughters have been skimming the topic of me dating again. I thought it was sweet but I already had and loved a woman. No one can replace her. I miss her. She probably would have smacked the shit outta me and told me off. Man.... I fucking miss you Lzi. Life has been tough without you but I've managed to raise a good, strong family. You have lovely and strong daughters. They are doing well and are making their own path in life. Wish you were here to see it.

Related post (but about OOP's parents, not his son):

May 14, 2024

TL;DR OOP's siblings show up with mom AND abusive dad and want him to forgive and forget the years of beatings and abuse. OOP brings up all the abuse, mom excuses ii all, dad stays silent then tries the "move past it and forgive" stuff. OOP refuses and siblings seem to stand behind him after sitting silently through most of it.

Reminder: I am not OOP.

Remember RULE 7: Do NOT Brigade or comment/DM on original posts!

Im slept at my parents summer home last night because my wife chose alcohol over me and my family, she refuses to get any help and I told her I was leaving her if she didnt make efforts three weeks ago.

She hasn't and shes been lying about it. We have a 13 and 10 year old girls. Im heartbroken. We were supposed to spend the weekend camping with her family. Camper is all set up for them but I wont be going. She probably wont either because she will have to explain or lie about why im not there.

Everyone was expecting me. But I just cant sit and watch her drink all weekend and be ok with it. She hides and drinks during the week i constantly find bottles stashed around the house or in the trash. She thinks she is hiding it from me and I keep on showing her she is not. She absolutely refuses to see anyone.

I have tried everything! Im mostly sad for my girls the 11 year old is so sweet. My 13 wont come out of her room because, I feel, my wife digs at her constantly about her grades and wont let up. So utterly betrayed by the person i married and had beautiful children with.

I turned off my phone as she was blowing it up. Shes texting how she is going to call someone for help but I'm so pissed at her. She just wants to have everything her way.

Oh its her birthday tomorrow as well. Great timing! AITA for ignoring her calls and not participating this weekend?

My husband and I haven't been on any dates since I gave birth to our baby (7mo). I had PPD (might still) and I was really isolated for a lot of my pregnancy and pretty much the entire time since the baby has been here. I'm alone for at least 16hrs a day and when my husband is home, we have about a half hour to an hour before he goes to sleep for work and during that time, he soaks up as much baby time as possible, which is understandable. We have sex but that's just about as far as it goes and some weeks he works 7 days a week. He literally busts his ass for us and I do appreciate it so much. I really do. I'm just feeling really alone is all. So I communicated that to him a week ago and he said he was going to make time for me and that he would borrow his buddies boat and bring me out while his mom watched the baby for the day. I was stupid excited.

So, the day before yesterday he came home from work early to bring me out shopping to grab stuff we needed, as he planned it for the next day (yesterday). We bought food, the essentials and he told me to pick out a fishing pole because his plan was to bring me fishing for the entire day (I had been asking to go for 3 years but we never had time). He doesn't even like fishing so I asked if he was sure and he specifically said "yes, this is for you. You need it, so I'm going to make it happen". I went to bed so excited. Could hardly sleep. We headed out around 8am the next day.

At first everything was good. We launched the boat and start heading off. We are talking and laughing, which hasn't happened in so long. Around 9:30 he pulls off to the sand bar and I'm a little confused because you can't go fishing here. But that's when I noticed we were pulling up on 4 other boats. His friends, coworkers and their children. About 9 other people. I asked him what we were doing and he said "well I told them we were going out on the boat and they wanted to join us". I asked for how long, because he told me he was bringing me fishing and this was a day for us and he says "well I figured I would bring you fishing before we leave for the day". I was immediately disappointed. For hours I sat in the same spot, watching my husband talk to everyone else or just sat along while he followed these guys to random locations (all beach, where you can't fish). Then they all start drinking. They offered me some but I was just defeated at this point (maybe 1-2pm). I asked my husband to bring me back to shore. He said "wait, no, why?" I didn't answer him. He then goes "no, babe I will bring you fishing, we can leave right now." So I said "no thanks, I don't want to be here." He brought me back to shore in silence, where I already had someone waiting to pick me up. He asks why I am leaving with them and that he could drive me home and leave with me. I said "no, it's fine. Go hang out. You obviously need it." And left. He came back 40 minutes later and was irritated. He was apologizing but at this point you just tell that he was angry so it was more snappy and exasperated than anything. Says that he figured I would appreciate socializing, since I never do. I told him this was never about my lack of social life but my lack of spending time with him and I had told him that when I had talked to him about it a week ago. So he did this for him, not me. So he said "yup, sorry I fucked up your day" and left to go get the baby. When he came back he didn't say much of anything to me and when he left for work this morning he just said "see you later". AITA?

And for the record, he literally works on the water all day every day WITH the guys that he invited. So every single day is a boat day and hang out day for them because they only have (at most) 4 jobs a day and most of the time it's just him hanging out on a boat, waiting for a call. He often jokes that he gets a "2-fer" because when he's working, it's social hour with all his good friends.

ETA: I'm honestly growing tired of repeating this so I'm just going to make it known that my social life is not the problem in this equation. I have friends and I see them as often as I want/need to. My problem is with my husband and I not connecting. We do not speak, kiss, nothing. The point of the trip was to reconnect as a couple, not have me socialize with a bunch of drunks. For the record, there was only one woman there. A woman that quite happily gets tossed around the group, who has zero interest in conversing with me. I have no desire to hang out with small children either. My husband knows this. I DID try to talk to people there. I was spoken over, several times.

When I was in high school I was at a pasture party (kegs and drugs in a field in the middle of nowhere, it’s a rural Texas thing) at a friends ranch. We were having a great time until a group of older losers showed up and started harassing the girls, threatening to fight ppl, just being dicks in general.

They were all early 20s white trash burnouts. Stereotypical, didn’t graduate high school, knife in their back pocket, probably a pistol in the glove box, nothing to do, nowhere to be, crashing a high school party as adults, meth, just fucking asshole losers.

A couple friends and myself went to ask them to leave and it escalated into a typical shoving match shit talking competition. They left after realizing they were heavily outnumbered, peeling out very dramatically in their shitty old pick up.

Like an hour later I’m just hanging out when all of the sudden I’m lights out on the ground. Never even saw what hit me. One of them had come back and had run up on me out of nowhere and absolutely murdered me with a sucker punch. He got on top of me and hit me ??? many more times until a couple of my friends pulled him off.

It really sucked, my jaw was f’d up for weeks, it still clicks funny to this day. He chipped several of my teeth and I’m pretty sure I was concussed.

I graduated a short time later, moved away (like everyone else who had options did), and never saw him again.

Flash forward 20 years. It’s a beautiful day in Austin Texas. I’m filling up my nice new car, with my lovely wife and perfect kids inside. We’re dressed up a bit to go to a fancy brunch. I’m looking like the American dream. Out of another dimension, the asshole who sucker punched me 20 years ago is walking down the sidewalk 10 feet away from me.

He’s homeless. A drug addict. Hopeless. Bleak bleak shit.

I’ve often thought about running into him back home at the county fair, maybe getting him in a dark alley and kicking the shit out of him. No need. Life had thoroughly done that for me. He looked about as rough as a person could.

I called his name. He looked at me like I was some sort of space alien. He actually seemed happy to see me. He asked how I was doing and if I could give him a ride. I said I couldn’t, I’ve got the family in the car. I asked him if he needed money. He looked really ashamed and said yes. I keep a few hundred in the console for emergencies. I pulled out a bill and gave it to him. When I did he saw my family. I could see it hurt him, way more than the sucker punch hurt me.

‘Be well’ I said as I got in my car and drove away.

For 20 years he had been some motherfucker that had viciously assaulted me for no reason. The only person on this planet I considered an enemy. Now he was just some broke down bum. The best revenge is living well.

Me and my husband have been together for over nine years and separating our finances never occurred to me until this past year.

I'm the saver and he's the spender. In the beginning it didn't bother me because we had two incomes and wasn't rich but lived comfortably.

His family has always "borrowed" money from us but rarely ever pay that money back. I personally don't lend money not even to family but I do not stop him from lending to his.

A few years ago my husband was in a bad car wreck and can no longer work so I became the sole breadwinner. He now gets disability but that was a four year process. In that time we dwindled our savings to nothing and came close to losing everything. Our debt mounted and there was nothing I could do.

When he received his back pay I only asked him to pay off his vehicle a loan in which I've paid over 50 grand on in the last few years and put some in savings.

He did neither. Instead he blew the money. Loaning over 10 grand to his family and paying nothing towards the debt we created.

During this time I was able to save some money from my paycheck but not much and had plans to pay some debts off once I have enough saved. He knew I was saving to do this.

About a month ago I noticed over 700 missing out our savings and I asked him what happened!?! He replied with I loaned it to my parents. I asked when he was going to receive it back because that money was already spent and I needed it. He said I don't know when they can afford to.

I blew up an lost my shit. He didn't ask me, we didn't speak about it. He did it behind my back because he knew it would piss me off and I would say no if he asked. We had a huge fight. I figured after that fight he would stop. But no...

Yesterday I checked my account and another thousand dollars was gone. Gone where u ask? He gave it his parents. I'm so mad I see red.

I flat out told him that as of today I'm done with his parents. I'll pay half the household bills buy our food and that's it. If he wants to lend all his disability to them fine but I'm not gonna go bust my ass 60 hours a week so he can keep giving our money away.

So AITA for going to the bank and withdrawing all the money I put there and opening a new account he don't have access to? He seems to think I am and says that I should want to make his parents happy. I would like to see them happy I just don't want to pay for that happiness.

My ex husband cheated on me 5 years ago and I found out when he texted me instead of her. That ended our marriage but the divorce was amicable. I told him that I couldn’t forgive him and he said he was sorry and we moved on. By that time he had worked a small fortune, a company, three commercial properties and a lake house. I got half of everything and I am a silent partner in his company, getting returns twice a year. As an apology he also gave me our apartment and the lake house. It goes without saying that I don’t need to work but I still do because I love my career.

He moved on with his affair gf. I don’t know much about them since it still pains me but all I know is that they’re still together. She contacted me on LinkedIn telling me that since the divorce has cost him so much money he has told her that he never wanted to get married again, nor move in together. And she blames me because I took everything. She is now pregnant but according to her my ex said that this wouldn’t change his attitude towards moving in together or marriage. So now she is accusing me of being a theif who is basically stealing her baby’s chances of having a family. I didn’t need the money because I have a good job and everything was my ex husband’s. I took advantage of him because he felt guilty.

I haven’t spoken to my ex in 5 years. I haven’t even had the strength to answer him back every new year to tell him to stop texting me “happy new year” because that’s when we met. I don’t know what to do. Is she right? Or should I ignore her?

Edit: thank you everyone for the fast response. I was considering one of three options, tell her off, tell him/forward her message to him or ignore and block her. The majority are suggesting the latter and I am inclined towards that too

Thanks and have a great weekend. I will try to read all your comments but they’re coming too fast. Sorry

So when my parents were expecting me my mom decided to name me Catherine Elizabeth. My mom felt strongly about the name Catherine and Elizabeth was a family name on both sides so it was a kind of compromise name. Neither loved it but mom didn't like any of my dad's choices for middle name and my dad didn't like Catherine and with mom saying no to the middle name they decided to use a mutual family name. During my birth my mom suffered many complications. She was rushed for an emergency c-section and ended up needing multiple blood transfusions and was out of it for a couple of weeks. During that time dad decided he was going to name me what he wanted since my mom cut him out of choosing my first name. And I ended up with a name my dad loved but my mom hated it. She had no say in the name. By the time she was healthy enough, they were told they would need to pay to change it. Mom was bitter. My parents are still married but never recovered from it and I 100% get it. My mom was betrayed and is angry that he went against what she wanted while she was at her lowest point.

The thing in all of this is I love my first name. I got the middle name Elizabeth still. I don't care for that either way. But I love my first name. Even though my mom hates it. She always wanted me to be Catherine. And after I turned 18 a few weeks ago she asked me to let her pay now for me to change my name. She said she regrets not doing it when I was a baby. But she admitted my name makes her so angry and brings the betrayal up to the front of her memory. So she would love for me to wear the name she chose now... But I hate Catherine. I don't want to be Catherine.

This really upset my mom. She thinks my name is dumb. It's unique and not common in the US as a name. And I admit it's not for everyone but it is for me. I'm glad I ended up with my name over Catherine. But I know my mom is struggling with that realization. She really thought I would want to be Catherine when I turned 18 and would be glad to do it with her offer to pay. And she told me how disappointed she was and she asked me if I would consider it for her. I told her if I did it would make me unhappy. She got kinda mad at me and she implied she felt betrayed all over again.

AITA?

My sister Leigh (28f) is getting married to Daniel (30m) in two weeks. Daniel has an 8 year old son called Kingsley. Last week Leigh asked me if I (20m) would babysit Kingsley during the wedding. She said Daniel's parents were supposed to do it but they were refusing and it had become such a big argument that she thought of me. I asked her why Daniel's parents were saying no and she said they were worried about Kingsley's behavior. I asked her why she'd think I would want to and she told me because I want her to enjoy her wedding(?) and because I'm a great little brother and to think about it as bonding with my almost nephew. I told her I didn't want to deal with his anger and tantrums and that there was no way we'd be bonding when he doesn't want his dad to get married again. Leigh told me they needed someone to do it because if he makes a scene it would delay the whole wedding if she or Daniel has to deal with it. She told me he might not be happy, he might be missing his mom (Kingsley's mom died), but she and Daniel are doing everything to help him through this and to show him that he has a bigger family now and doesn't need to chase her off or reject her. She said she is showing him that she will always be around even if he hates it right now. And for things to go well she needs me to come through for her.

I still said no and Leigh was upset. She and Daniel called me two days later and asked if I would reconsider if they paid me. I told them I wouldn't and suggested they use that money and hire someone if they really want Kingsley to have a babysitter.

Leigh tried begging but Daniel was pissed at that point and told me I was throwing away the chance to help my sister and get to know his son.

AITA?

My wife and I have been married just shy of four years and she's almost 8 months pregnant with our first child. Originally we were team green (not finding out the sex) so wanted to have a boy and a girl name. But my wife got so frustrated that I wasn't happy to just let her use her top choices for names (Peter for a boy and Susan for a girl) and for suggesting the name Everly after my late sister's middle name, that she looked at the sex and found out we were having a boy so we would only focus on boy names. She then decided she would give me a list of her top 10 boy names and I could choose one from that since I wanted to be involved.

I admit this pissed me off. When we were dating she complained all the time that her sister's husband never cared about the names of their children and gave no input at all and how lazy and lacking he was as a father. I promised her back then that I'd always want to play a role in that stuff and look for names together. She said that was perfect. I also mentioned how I'd love to use Everly for a future daughter in some way to honor my sister and she thought it was such a sweet idea. She said she was glad I was that way because she could never marry a guy like her sister's husband or have kids with someone like that.

But now that we're actually in the baby naming stages, she has changed her mind and wants to have full say because she's the one carrying our child. She was so pissed off that she said my involvement could be picking from the names she loves most and nothing else.

Her list was Peter, Lawrence, Francis, Samson, Vincent, Patrick, Chester, Geoffrey, Stanley and Caleb. I chose Caleb but she didn't like that and still wanted Peter. We had not agreed on a name. I told her I did not want Peter.

But then when we went to her parents house for a family dinner the other week she told her family we had decided to name our son Peter. I was furious because we had not agreed to that. Her family were all so happy and when we got a moment alone I accused her of being manipulative and trying to force my hand by making me the bad guy if I keep refusing. I told her she clearly never meant what she said about wanting a man who'd be involved and she should have found herself a replica of her sister's husband because that's what she really wants. She told me too loudly that I was being a jerk and "couldn't change my mind now" so her whole family were pissed off at me for trying to change Peter. Her sister's husband mocked me for being such a weak man. He said this because of how angry everyone else was at me and because I already took my wife's name in marriage and was now "letting her" name our kid. Which made me more angry at her and made her more angry at me for being angry. Then she told me I had no right to call her manipulative and we've been tense since then.

AITA?

We’ve been together for 4 years, got engaged early this year. His mum lives in a different state from us so I’ve only spoken to her through texts and occasional face times and she seemed really nice. We planned to visit his parents this month and meet up with some mutual old friends that also live there.

When we arrived, she hugged me but suddenly looked really shocked. She said I was a bit taller than she expected, which was fine because i get that a lot, I tend to look shorter in pictures for whatever reason, but then she goes ahead to say that my fiancé (let’s call him Kevin) usually goes for smaller women. In quote ‘women more like her size’. I was taken aback. I immediately got strange vibes from her but tried to push it away. I just thought it was a generation thing. I know the older folks love pointing out weight/height on women. Mind you, I don’t even think I’ll be considered that tall. I’m 5’6, but she was clearly smaller than me by some inches. Anyways, we’re unloading the snacks we brought onto the table when she asks me to help her tighten her dress. It was one of those dresses with criss cross fastens at the back. It was a bit of a struggle to tighten the strings and she just started shouting. “It must be the boobs. The dress hates them but the men love them” when she didn’t get a reaction she asked Kevin “isn’t that right? You [their last name] men love a full rack. Remember how excited you were with Lexi?”. I couldn’t even believe it. I am not big chested in any way and she just compared my boobs with his ex’s? Kevin didn’t even try to say anything to defend me. He just sat there.

To make it even worse, she kept saying how I was the first dark haired girl she’s seen her son with (she’s blonde) and kept talking about how men always go for women that look like their mothers the whole night. I told him how uncomfortable it made me feel and he said I was overreacting and that she’s kinda right. Kinda right? What do you mean kinda right? How I’m I meant to move on knowing I’m not even his type, and his mum clearly has a weird thing for her son. He’s been acting like he doesn’t notice what his mom is saying and how it’s been affecting me. I’m very shocked. I don’t think I’ve ever really been insecure about my features but they’re both just making me second guess myself.

She even showed me their picture albums to show me how “cute Kevin was as a baby”, but she just ended up showing me pictures of her self when she was younger and “very delicate” she also showed me her labour pictures and when she was pregnant with Kevin, saying that all the nurses were shocked by how tiny she was while being fully pregnant. And she said it was a shame that that might end with her giving his big I and Kevin were. I finally broke and told her and my fiancé that she could be the person to marry him since she’s obsessed with him. I called one of our mutual and ubered to their place. Now, few hours later Kevin, some of our friends and his annoying mother keep calling and texting saying I overreacted and I was very rude. Kevin even sent a long text saying I always blow things out of proportion and she was just having some fun.

She’s been indirectly calling me a fat, gigantic and ugly creature and the two men have just been giggling, but when I return the energy I’m all of a sudden the bad guy?

This isn’t like him at all. I need advice please. Has anyone experienced similar MIL hate or animosity? And do you think I overreacted?

Tl;dr - AITA for telling my MIL that she could marry her son after she told me she’s more of her son’s type than me.

My (33F) MIL (67F) lives in another country with her husband. We never got along because she always insists on being the one to make the rules and is overall very controlling. She also disliked me from the start for merely existing. We don't see her very often thankfully but whenever we do it's always pretty stressful.

She is visiting now and staying with us. It's been a week. Normally my husband deals with her shit but he's currently travelling for work and won't be back until tonight. Since my husband left she's been HORRIBLE. It's like she's trying to get on my nerves on purpose. I try to keep calm because I know she'll leave in 2 weeks and I won't see her for months again. However, there's been an incident that me and my husband are now fighting about.

My toddler brought a large toy truck to the table. I reminded him 'no toys when we're eating, please put it back in the toy box and you can play with it when you're done eating'. My toddler was compliant but as he was getting off the chair MIL said 'it's ok honey, grandma allows it, your mommy is no fun, isn't she?'. This is not an isolated incident, she's been trying to undermine my parenting ever since my husband left for work (trying to let the kids eat sweets instead of dinner, telling them they can do things I just told them they were not allowed and so on).

I could not take it anymore and said 'let's not forget grandma is but a guest here. Guests don't make the rules, do they? I'm sure grandma knows who this apartment belongs to. And hotels are so expensive in this area'. I admit my tone was mocking and I was referring to the fact that I alone own our home (I inherited it from grandpa). She was red and called me disrespectful but did not escalate it any further.

The same evening my husband is calling me furious, asking how dare I tell his mother she's not welcome here. I told him full story and he was still pissed, claiming I should have handled it better and keep peace. He said he can't even leave for a few days without us getting in a fight in front of the kids. I told him why don't you say that to your mother. I also told him this is the last time I'm allowing her to stay over. She can live in a hotel or not come at all for all I care if she has to act like this. I refuse to feel so uncomfortable in my own home.

I also told him I'm going to my parents' lake house this weekend because the weather is so nice and I want to relax. However, MIL is not welcome to join. He has 3 options: go with us, try to convince the kids to stay home with him and MIL so that I could go alone or I go with the kids and he stays with MIL. He told me it's very rude not to invite MIL. She would love to go to the lake. I said maybe but she's the one I need a break from. He called me a petty asshole. I sure am petty but I don't think I'm the asshole here. Never in my life have I started an argument with MIL first. But just in case, AITA?

I am not OP. That is who posted in

April 21st, 2024

I (27M) have been in a relationship with my girlfriend (26F) for 6 years, and we officially got engaged last month.

Our relationship was pretty great, but the only argument we occasionally had was her friendship with her ex (27M). They were friends from childhood, and they even dated for a few years. I was never comfortable with how close they were, and she even considered him her best friend, which was really irritating because I was her boyfriend and I was supposed to be her best friend.

But I did not want to be controlling or control her friendships so I never got her in way, but I did voice my displeasure. Her ex’s birthday was a couple of weeks ago and he only invited her and not me, and she really wanted to go. I was extremely unhappy and even voiced my concerns about it but she told me she really wanted to be there at the party, and promised me that she would “treat me” when she came back home. She also promised me that this was the last time she was ever going to hang out with him out of respect for my relationship, and especially since we were engaged. She promised she would slowly cut off friendship after that night.

Well at this point, I was extremely deflated and told her sure but to come back home early. She was extremely happy when she came back home from the birthday party a few hours later, and even initiated sex but I rejected it because I wasn’t feeling great.

Over the next week, we barely spoke even though my fiancée made a lot of attempts to communicate and apologize. She promised me she would no longer be friends with him, and she apologized for going to the birthday party.

By Sunday, I had made my decision after consulting with one of my close friends (26M) and my 2 sisters (25 F, 29F). All 3 of them said she had disrespected me way too much, and that I had to call it off before I actually married her.

I informed my fiancée of my decision and she immediately broke down in tears and kept apologizing. It did hurt me a lot when I saw her crying like that. I told her the truth, that I hadn’t felt respected in the relationship, and I just could not see myself marrying a person who had disrespected me so much throughout my entire relationship.

AITAH for breaking up with my fiancée because she went to her ex’s birthday party?

adding comments for context

commenter

It sounds like there is some back story missing. If you've been together for 6 years, that's 5 or 6 birthday parties her BFF has had. Were you invited to them and not this one? Did she always go to his birthday parties by herself? What was your relationship with the BFF like? When did they date because the timeline sounds like they possibly dated in high school.

OP

Yes, I was invited to all of his previous birthday parties except this one. My relationship with her BFF was fine until a year ago, I'm not sure what happened. My sisters guess that my ex fiancee was probably just running her mouth to him.

They dated in high school.

April 24th, 2024

Original post:

It has been a week since I broke up with my fiancée. After I informed her of my decision, she packed everything up and moved out the next day. A few people in the comments were curious what she was up to, so I reached out to one of our mutual friends and asked her what she was up to, and if she was doing fine.

So unfortunately, she is not doing so great. She moved back in with her parents, and her parents are blaming her for everything that happened, because they really liked me. And she has also been a complete shell of herself, that’s what my mutual friend said.

So now I’m feeling extremely guilty. This is not what I intended to happen when I broke up with her. I asked the mutual friend if a sit down with my ex would be beneficial to her, and the mutual friend said that would really help my ex.

I’ve called my ex's mom and told her it’s not her daughter’s fault, and that I was going through some internal things and I wasn’t ready for marriage. I later called my ex and asked her if she wanted to meet up this weekend, and she was really happy about it. Her voice however sounded really hoarse, I did not feel too great about it.

So we’re going to meet up this weekend, and I am going to explain that her it wasn’t her fault, and that I was going through some internal demons, and that we just weren’t meant to be together. I am going to explain to her that she had no fault in this whatsoever. I hope that relieves her of her guilt, and that she gets back to normal soon.

April 26th, 2024

So this is my final update in all likelihood.

I met up with my ex yesterday at a coffee shop and we talked for a long time. I wanted to meet her yesterday rather than the weekend, and she wanted to too. I explained to her why our relationship fell apart. I explained to her it was my insecurities which were my demons, and that she deserved someone better than me. I explained to her that she did nothing wrong in our relationship, she did not disrespect me at all, and that the breakup was my fault, and to please not be so hard on herself.

She asked if we could still remain friends or get back together after some time. She said even if we would not get back together in the future as partners, she really valued my friendship, and still wanted to remain friends with me. I did not expect her to ask me that, and at this point, I realized that I had handled this entire thing horribly, so I told her upfront that it was better to just cut off contact and make a clean break rather than let feelings fester.

She cried again really badly after that; and I was feeling horrible. This was affecting her mental health, and I was really worried about her. So I backtracked and told her sure, we could remain friends, and that I really valued her friendship too, I just misunderstood what she had asked. She was really happy about that but asked if she was pressuring me to keep the friendship. I told her no, that I genuinely valued her friendship, and I told her that she did not pressure me at all.

I also told her that if she had cut off contact with her best friend, to please not to do so, and be friends with him again, because she did not deserve to lose her best friend. But she said she was cutting off her friendship with him, and it had nothing to do with this, but that they were in different phases in life and that she no longer needed to be friends with him.

We spoke for an hour or so after that and she seemed in really positive spirits, and I felt really good after that. So my plan is now to be friends with her till her mental health is back to normal, and then gradually cut off my friendship with her.

I am not the original poster. Please don't contact or comment on linked posts

I (26m) have been estranged from my father for 16 years. After my mom died he just left. He didn't even take me someplace safe. He walked out of the house and didn't come back. He missed her funeral and he wasn't around to take care of me or anything afterward. I was taken in by my uncle (my mom's brother) and he finished raising me. My father's family remained a part of my life and I have a few good relationships with them.

Two years ago my father reconciled with some of the members of his family but not all (including me who has not spoken to him since I was 10). I have seen him twice before this weekend when I saw him for a third time. This time his wife was also with him. It was at a party for one of my cousins. My aunt, aka cousins mom, invited them. My wife and I were also there and so was our 7 week old son.

While my cousin (the birthday girl), my wife and I were talking my father's wife approached and introduced herself and she said she could not wait to be a grandma and asked to hold my son. I told her she could not. She was all smiles up to then but the smile fell and she asked me why. I told her I didn't let random strangers hold my son. She told me she's not a random stranger, she's his grandmother. My cousin stepped in and moved her along. My cousin was like wtf with my wife and me. We did our best to stay out of my father's wife's way afterward. But she came over again as we were leaving and asked to hold my son again. I told her no yet again. My aunt (birthday cousins mom) was also present and the two of them told me I was being harsh and to let her hold the baby. She told me I'm treating her like a criminal. I told her I was treating her like the random stranger that she is.

My cousin heard the end of it and scolded her mom and my father's wife when we were gone and called me to apologize for what happened. I apologized to her for having that play out at her birthday.

My aunt gave my father's wife my number and the two of them told me I behaved childishly and I should consider my son and what is best for him. And how I treated this innocent woman poorly.

AITA?

Parking is a nightmare in my neighborhood. If you get home after 8:00 or so you're all but guaranteed to be stuck looking for a spot in an industrial area about half a mile away from my apartment that's fairly desolate at night. My building has a lot with assigned spaces, but it's not big enough to accommodate all of the residents so there's a long waitlist. I don't have a car, but my girlfriend, Jen, is a bartender, and she would be driving back to my place after late shifts pretty frequently, so I signed up for the waitlist as soon as I closed on my apartment. One of my neighbors, Jake, passed away a little over a year later, and I got his parking space. Jake's daughter, Claire, inherited his apartment and moved in a few months later, and she incorrectly assumed that her father's old parking space came with the apartment. The building's superintendent told Claire that she needed to sign up for the waitlist to get a parking space after I found her car in my spot a couple of times. I figured that was the end of it, but I wouldn't be posting here if that was the case.

I got home around 9:30 one night a few weeks later and Claire's car was in my spot again. Jen was coming by around 1:00 and it was pouring rain, so I knocked on Claire's door to let her know she had to move her car. She told me she knew she shouldn't have taken my spot but she had an awful day at work and her three year old son was having a tantrum when she picked him up, then the rain got bad right as she was getting home. She said she was completely overwhelmed and had noticed that my space was usually empty, so she figured it wouldn't hurt anyone if she took it for one night. She asked me if she could move her car in the morning because her kid was already asleep. I told her I was sorry she was having a bad day but my girlfriend was coming by in a few hours and she needed the spot. Claire asked if I was really going to make her wake her son up then walk home through a sketchy neighborhood in the rain with him. I didn't appreciate the guilt trip so I just told her that I would be calling a tow truck if her car was still in my spot in an hour and went back to my apartment. Her car was gone when Jen got back, and it was still pouring.

Anyway, this was a few weeks ago and I've caught shit from a few of my neighbors over it. I guess Claire is telling people what a heartless monster I am. I generally keep to myself so I'm not losing any sleep over the neighbors having a negative opinion about me, but I'm curious enough about what the internet thinks to post this. So yeah, am I the asshole?

ETA because I've already addressed this a bunch of times: yes the parking situation sucks, but there's nothing the building management/co-op board can do about it. The complex was built in the 1930s in a very densely populated area with ridiculous real estate prices. It's also between two fairly busy train stations, so there's competition with commuters for street parking. We're surrounded by other apartment buildings, so there's no land to build more parking on, and I don't even want to think about how much my maintenance would go up if they tried to expand the existing lot vertically. On the other hand, the neighborhood is very walkable, has great public transportation access, and is close to a really nice bike trail.

Don’t know if this is actually all that controversial, but I wanted to talk about it somewhere.

I just can’t get into roguelikes. I don’t vibe with them.

Supergiant is one of my absolute favorite developers. The colorful backgrounds, the incredible music. The stories always have this sense of melancholy to them, and even the best endings are bittersweet.

But then they made a roguelike. Many reviewers called it the roguelike for people who don’t like roguelikes, and I have to say I disagree. Because there’s a fundamental aspect about roguelikes: you have to be okay with fighting the same enemies, in the same rooms, over and over, forever. And if you don’t want to do that, then you won’t enjoy it.

I played Hades for about 15 hours, I think, and I never truly clicked with the combat. I kept thinking, “maybe I’ll enjoy it with a few more upgrades in the mirror.” I got a sense that skill alone will only take me so far, and that to make real progress I needed luck. Then I felt like that was confirmed when I got an extremely powerful build that turned every fight I had struggled with before into a cakewalk. I don’t want to depend on luck to have a fun build, I want it to be fun all the time. But I think the main reason I didn’t click with the combat was because I wasn’t connecting with the narrative context.

And truly, the dialogue system is incredible… for a roguelike. I think that’s an important qualifier that gets left off. Yes, I never heard any repeated dialogue, and that’s pretty cool… but I only heard dialogue every once in a while. Even my incredibly easy winning run took 47 minutes. Then, whether you win or lose, you arrive back at the house and are given a spoonful of story and off you go again. I saw a reviewer say that leaving the house to go on another run felt like leaving the party early. This was not my experience, if anything I felt hurried out the door.

And now, Hades 2?! Two games in a row that I can’t come with them on. More fighting the same enemies in the same rooms forever. I guess I just selfishly want more supergiant games that appeal to my taste, and I’m very worried that they just make roguelikes now because that’s where the big indie money is and it’s what they’re known for now.

And I’m not even sure how the story would work? Killing Chronos is meaningless since everyone comes right back and the structure of the gameplay can’t change. It always has to be the same bosses in the same order. Hades 1 just had interpersonal disagreements, what do we even do about actual villainy when nobody stays dead and the structure of the run can’t change? Will Chronos have a change of heart from the cumulative talk-no-jutsu?

TL;DR my favorite developer is making two games in a row that are a genre I don’t like, and I’m bummed about that.

It was my son’s 16 birthday party and we matched him on a car. He also had his girlfriend over they have been together for a year. My brother Tom is a drunk and never moved on from his divorce that was almost 13 years ago. It ended because of Tom’s affair, so you can't fault my ex Sil. They had two kids but Tom because a drunk and with a court order he stopped visitation almost 10 years ago. So not a stellar father figure either. His kids are older now, but his ex moved out of state, and her new husband adopted the kids. We don't have contact. At the party Also he was staying stuff in front of my son’s girlfriend about how evil women are and girls that age are best because when they get older they get corrupted by society. I shut that down reminding Tom he was the reason for his divorce and his attitude is the reason why no one will date him and I find what he is saying disgusting so kicked him out of my son’s party. Tom didn't go quietly and both my husband and son had to make sure he left. Our mother said how we treat led tom was awful and tom has the freedom to talk his mind.I told her not saying disgusting things in my home. Afterward mom and tom continue to reach out and mom is instant that Tom was dealt with a bad hand. Tom tells me all men stray and my husband probably has to which got him blocked and my mom acts like Im causing drama.

This happened back in 2011 when I was in college. We were taking 'Introduction to Psychology' and it was one of those baseline courses required to graduate. The professor taught the subject really well so it was a pretty easy A if you paid attention in class, took notes and studied. Usual stuff.

The guy I sat beside in class kind of gave off vibes that he only showed up because he had to and just really didn't care. We exchanged 'hey hows it going' occasionally but I never got to know him. Sometimes he didnt show up for class. I never once saw this guy take notes or open his text book. Every quiz/test we were given, I could see him out of my peripheral vision always cheating answers off my paper. Strangely, I didnt care and I honestly dont remember why I felt that way. I was working and going to school full time so maybe I was too tired to care, IDK. Total fault on my part.

Anyway this continues all semester up until summer break. Its our last class and all students are taking final exams. I was headed to psychology class but today felt different. I had a change of heart for the worse. IDK what brought on this sudden change. I was suddenly upset that this dude had been cheating and was going to pass with an A (because I had an A) and he wasn't doing shit. I couldn't let him cheat this time so I came up with a plan.

We sat down as usual and the professor hands out the exams and testing begins. Its dead quiet in the building. I pretend to be super tired and lean my head on one arm and cover my paper with my other arm so he cant see my paper. He tried to get my attention to get me to move but I ignored him. He couldnt whisper or risk getting caught because of how quiet it was in the classroom. The whole time I'm watching him out of my peripheral and I can see him start to panic. He starts looking around at other classmates but he's not having any luck.

Eventually people start finishing and one by one starting handing in their papers to the professor and leave. Im still watching this guy. He saw several people stand up at once so he stuffs the exam into his hoodie pocket and stands up too. There are several people standing around the professor waiting to hand in their tests so he tries to sneak out the door while the professor is busy, but he got caught! He calls the guy over and wants to talk to him. IDK what was said but I see the guy slowly take the exam out of his pocket. I finish my exam and hand it in around that same time, make eye contact with the guy and walk out.

Sadly IDK what happened to him after that but if there are any college professors here that want to speculate, I would be interested to know your thoughts.

My brother was married to Katrina for 8 years. He has a 10 year old daughter from a one night stand. Bio mom is not in the picture.

Katrina is the only mom my niece, Elise, has ever known. She became a stay at home mom when Elise was 2 and they’ve been inseparable since. She wanted to adopt Elise and Elise’s bio mom wanted the adoption to happen but her dad refused.

When Elise was around 4, my brother started using her to control Katrina. If they’d argue or she wouldn’t do what he wanted he’d either hurt Elise or leave with her for weeks/months at a time, telling her she was never going to see Katrina again. Katrina wasn’t able to do anything about it because she didn’t have any rights to Elise.

Katrina finally filed for divorce last year and my brother took Elise again. After a few months cps got involved and Elise was removed from his custody. Elise is temporarily staying with me while Katrina fights for custody.

She refuses to talk about what happens when her dad takes her but she’s terrified of men, including my husband, wakes up screaming, and she even had to spend some time in an inpatient facility. She’s doing intensive outpatient treatment now and is slowly improving. Katrina and I have been in contact and I’ve been letting her visit Elise. These visits are usually 4ish hours at a time, maybe 4 days a week. She makes food for Elise, they lay on the couch and watch her favorite movies, she gets Elise to do some schoolwork. She kind of goes back to being Elise’s mom during these visits.

Extended family has been asking why Elise is staying with me and not her dad. My brother said it’s because he travels a lot for work but I wasn’t going to lie to protect him so I told the truth, he’s an abusive piece of shit that hurt his daughter to control his wife. Then word spread that Katrina gets to visit as much as she and Elise can handle while he isn’t allowed to see his kid.

Now immediate family (parents, grandparents, brother) are mad at me for airing his dirty laundry, spreading rumors, and taking his ex’s side in all of this. AITA?

So my dad and stepmom decided my stepbrother (17m) and I (15f) need therapy. They got married 6 years ago and we're not the close family they thought they were making at the time. The two children they have together did not bring us all closer together. My stepbrother and I don't call them our parents. I call dad my dad and he's my parent. Stepmom is stepbrother's mom and his only parent. My mom died and his dad walked out on him 10 years ago. So we didn't go through the same stuff or anything.

Anyway, when we started therapy we were all asked why we were there. My dad said he did not feel like my stepbrother or I had really let the family change in our hearts. Stepmom said she felt as though we had no real connection to each other and they needed to try and change that before it was too late. My stepbrother said we were there because his mom wanted to force a new dad on him. I said we were there because they didn't get the image they had of the new family we'd be when they got married and that I think deep down they realize the fact neither of us was excited or totally on board with all becoming a stepfamily has played out exactly as it was always going to and they want to see if they can mold us into their vision more.

Last week we had a session and we had to do this weird questionnaire. The counselor said she wanted to see how well we all knew each other. So the question was what is their favorite food, favorite color and favorite thing to do. On my list she included my mom and my little brother who died the same time as our mom. This was on top of each other and the stepfamily members including my half siblings. When we handed them back up she asked my dad about my mom and brother's favorite things and confirmed my answers were right. Both he and stepmom asked why they had been listed on them. The counselor pointed out that I knew theirs really well and I knew dad's old favorites, not current ones but nobody else's. My stepbrother didn't know anyone's. Stepmom didn't know mine or most of her son's and dad knew most of mine but not everything.

After we left the session, with instructions to reflect but not fight about what we discovered that day, my dad and stepmom were pretty damn pissed and she was hurt that I knew what my brother had liked before he died and he was only 4 but not any of my new living family members. My stepmom said I could remember my mom and brother so well and knew dad before so well that it shows I didn't even try to get to know the rest of them as well. I said I thought that would be pretty obvious. They said I need to start working harder in therapy because they're paying to fix things. I told them it's a waste of time then and I'm done. Because clearly we're going for one purpose and we don't all share the same objective for it.

They got super mad at me, and later got super mad at my stepbrother as well. They wanted me to swear I will change my mind or else I'll be difficult for no real reason. AITA?

EDIT: I haven't slept in a while... the title is wrong, and my maths was off! It's actually £1000. ;)

Our landlord sucks. I know, not an original experience, but this is one of the few instances so far where we've been able to get a one up on him, so I thought I'd share.

I'm currently living in a major city with two friends. We're all students, so money is tight of course. We moved into this place a little over nine months ago and have so far had constant problems with mould, damp, broken appliances, etc. That's a whole other story, but just know that this happened amidst a LOT of other stuff, hence our frustration.

All the doors in our place are wood, with little silver handles. They each have a cover you can remove to see all the screws keeping the door handles in place. This will be important later on. The doors were also swelling like crazy due to how damp our flat was, and half of them no longer fit in the door frames. Some wouldn't close all the way, others you would have to SLAM shut. My flatmate's bedroom door was one of these slammable ones.

One day, my flatmate got out of bed and tried to leave his room, only to find his door handle was totally flaccid. Like, he would push it down, and nothing would happen. He was totally trapped in his room. The only way he ended up escaping was by using some skate tools he had in his room at the time and totally removing the handle from the door. We realised afterwards that the handle only had one out of six needed screws to keep it in place, and so it had totally disattached from the inner mechanism, essentially locking the door permanently.

Whatever, we thought. We reported the broken door to our useless letting agency and moved on, just never shutting my flatmate's door all the way (and eventually taking the handle off entirely and just using the hole left behind to pull the door open when needed).

After this incident, we went around and checked all the handles. We realised that my bedroom door and my other flatmate's had a different style of handle than the rest, but absolutely NONE of them had the correct number of screws. They all either had one or two out of six, and mine and hers had one out of four. Clearly, the landlord hadn't bothered to install them properly, or they were just so old they were falling apart.

Months passed, the first door stayed broken, and we were all placing bets on which one would go next. Our landlord was giving us the run around as per usual, and we were still dealing with all of the other issues going on, so my flatmate's broken bedroom door became sort of a side issue. It was annoying having a door with no handle, and it was also a major fire hazard, but what could we do? There was no way for us, a couple inexperienced teenagers, to refit the mechanisms and the handles by ourselves (we considered it), espeically since the hole where it was supposed to sit was super torn up. Also? Not our job.

Anyways, like I said, it's a few months down the line, and another handle goes. This time it's the bathroom. Unlike my flatmate's bedroom, this one broke so that if you closed it from the inside, you could open it again, but if you were outside you couldn't get back in. You also couldn't lock it. Again, we report it, and just don't close the bathroom door when no one's in it.

Until: my flatmate was running a bath (with the door open, of course) and the steam was coming out into the hallway. We have a tempremental fire alarm, so my other one says: "Hey! Watch the steam!" And without thinking, he shuts the door.

No one is in the bathroom. My other flatmate (his girlfriend), says: "Did you just close the bathroom door?"

He looks at her. "Fuck." He says.

So now, we have a locked door scenario with a timer, because if we don't get this door open in the next couple minutes, we are going to start flooding our fucking bathroom. We all panic, some chaos ensues, and luckily my flatmate is able to remove the handle, push the mechanism through, dislodge the other handle, and bust the door in. No flooding, thank god, but now we were all really pissed off. We nearly ruined our bathroom and possibly affected the people living below us because our landlord was a lazy prick and didn't install his door handles correctly.

The next day, I call up our letting agent, and essentially demand she send out a contractor to replace the now two broken door handles. (Bear in mind, one of them has been broken for maybe three or four months at this point.) She apologises for the delay, and says she'll get back to me. We wait a couple days, and she comes back with an email essentially saying: "The landlord doesn't want to pay a contractor to replace the door handles because he thinks it's your fault they broke. Here's an invoice for the repairs. It's £350 to replace the two door handles."

I remember fucking seething. £350! For two handles! And he wanted us to pay it?! Not. Happening.

Revenge time!

I go around our house taking a very thorough video of every single door handle. I take great care to show how poorly they're all installed, all the missing screws, how they barely fit into their holes, how weak some of them are, etc. and I send it off to our letting agent with a long email detailing how the two broken handles are very clearly the result of wear and tear, and we refuse to pay for their replacements.

Eventually, she gets back to us, and agrees that the video indeed proves the handles are the landlord's responsibilty, and she's going to make him replace every single one, at his own expense, instead of just the two that are broken. Oh, and she's going to make sure he uses the contractor he quoted us, since he claimed it was the only one he trusted.

Doing the maths, that's six door handles at £175 each, totalling £1050 to replace all of them.

If he had just replaced the two that were broken, or even just found a less ridiculous contractor that quoted far less, he could've saved himself hundreds of pounds. But, because he's lazy and stingy and an asshole, he ended up forking over way more than he needed to, and we got all shiny new door handles. :) I know it's not the craziest story, but my god it was satisfying.

Lesson to landlords: don't think that just because your tenants are young and students that you can fuck them over.

Hi, me and my friend are both 17F btw.

I’m obese, nearly morbidly obese according to the internet. I don’t really care about that stuff because I think self love is more important and Im happy with my weight, but it’s kinda an important part. My friend Maria is average, if not quite skinny. She’s made fun of my weight before, but she always says it’s just a joke.

She constantly asks everyone in her friend group if she’s fat, I understand being insecure but it’s genuinely really excess and it’s weekly while we’re eating lunch at this point. She never eats her lunch and always throws it away, then points to mine and tells me that im eating so much and that even half of that would fill her up. She’s said this everyday for the past 3 or 4 months. I don’t think she’s on a diet or anything either she just makes weird comments like that a lot.

Today she asked to try my jacket on because she was cold, I thought she was actually cold but after she said “oh my god this is so huge on me … does this actually fit you” obviously im paraphrasing i don’t remember exactly, but my other friends started to laugh. I told her that she does look fat, and she looks fatter than me. And that my jacket fits her really well.

She got quiet and changed the subject, but tonight she messaged me and asked me why I would say that when I know she’s insecure. I told her that Im tired of her fishing for compliments and being rude to me because of my weight. She said that Im just jealous of her and she left me on seen. I asked my parents for advice but they agree with her and think I was very rude, but I don’t know how else I would’ve made it stop