I 35M met my now soon to be ex Wife 33F during Uni 12 years ago.

she already had kid when she was 19 but the dad left as soon as she started uni.

We were dating for 3 months before I met her daughter Lisa. I remember seeing her family for the first time. I was nervous meeting her parents but when I saw a little girl beside her Mom i was confused. I asked her if that was her little sister or a cousin of hers and her answer shocked me. When she told me that that's her daughter I thought i misheard her or something. At first I wanted to dump her for hiding something so crucial from me but she kept on begging for me to stay and eventually I relented and soon enough I started to fall in love with her daughter and wanted to be her father figure.

Our bond grew stronger over the years and in early 2019 (before the pandemic hit) we got married, in late 2021 I adopted Lisa and In early 2022 my wife gave birth to our son Marc. After my son was born my wife made the choice to stay at home for the time being and I was completely fine with that.

Everything was going perfectly until a few months ago. I started noticing my wife increasingly spending time with her "friends". At the time, I didn't say anything since, in my mind, being at home all day probably meant eating at her, and i didn't want to seem controlling. The thing that made me suspicious was her constant texting and going out of the room for calls. She never did that for anyone besides this one "friend" of hers. I asked her about it but she gave me some vague answers about gossip.

The moment that took it too far though, was when I came home last week and saw her outside talking on the phone, this wasn't out of the ordinary. I remember seeing my son on the floor crying alone. I was pissed at my Wife for just leaving him alone in the house but when I went to pick him up and smelt the horrible stench coming from him, I was beyond furious. His diaper seemed like it hadn't been changed since that morning. I quickly changed his diaper and rushed outside with him in my arms. I was beyond pissed. I snatched her phone from her hand and bolted back inside. I locked my wife outside to have a talk with this friend of hers alone. I had my suspicions about who it really was and when I heard a male voice calling out her name and asking who was there. I immediately knew what was going on. He ended the call as soon as he heard my voice. I then proceeded to lock the front door to make sure my wife couldn't enter the house at all and proceeded to screenshot as much of their chat as I could and then sent them to myself before deleting them on her phone.

About 5 minutes later, she was still banging on the glass door leading to the backyard. I reluctantly opened it and was met with a smack in the face. (Remember all of this is happening while I'm holding my toddler in my arms). As soon as she realized what she just did she apologized profusely, started crying and tried to hug me. I pushed her away and told her to meet me at the dining table. I told my "daughter" to quickly take care of the baby so me and her mom could have a quick chat.

I just kept it simple. I told her this was her only chance to even have a sliver of chance of getting me back. If she fucked up this talk it was over on the spot, no lies nothing. She kept on trying to apologize and to say it wasn't that serious. I reminded her that she not only fucked me over, she could also have easily done serious harm to our son by leaving him alone in the house like that. I then simply asked who?, for how long? and did they fuck? She replied with her Ex Boss Daniel, 6 Months and she didn't answer the last one so I kept on reminding her that this was her last chance. She then just simply nodded. I then asked her If they used protection. To this she started crying and started begging me for forgiveness. She said she would block him then and there, would never contact him again, I could fuck any woman I want from now on yada yada.

I guess Lisa heard the commotion and came downstairs. I told her to go back up but she just walked to my wife and asked her if I knew about Daniel. Up to this point I was calm but upon hearing this , I swear even I started tearing up. I asked Lisa if she knew all along and she said yes. At this point I'm full on crying and I asked her why she didn't tell me. She responded with "Because unlike YOU, Daniel buys me the thigs I want without having to beg." I then asked her how she could possibly do this to her dad. She responded with the you're not my real dad crap. My Wife screamed at her upon hearing what she said. At that point I couldn't bear any of this anymore. I just grabbed my son and got into the car.

Me and my son are currently staying at my parents house. I've basically been drinking myself to sleep everyday. Thanks to the saint of a mother i have, my son is being taken care of right now. Im beyond hurt. Ive cancelled my ex daughters private school tuitions, all her extracurricular activities and I've contacted a divorce Lawyer. He´s going to serve my wife this Friday. My wife and Lisa have been blowing up my phone non stop with apologies. I simply responded with "Get a lawyer and tell that ungrateful thing of yours to start calling Daniel her dad. Im disowning her" and then I blocked my wife. I didn't respond to Lisa, I just simply blocked her. I guess my wifee told our friends, what her and Lisa did and now they have been texting me nonstop. They understand how im feel but believe im going too far by divorcing my wife without hearing her out. They also keep telling me that disowning Lisa is definitely going too far and she's only a Kid and didnt understand what she was doing. I just cant get over the things she told me. I've worked my ass off to give my wife and daughter luxuries, I could have only dreamed off as a kid and this is how I get paid back? Lisa (13 years old) is old enough to understand that hiding her moms affair is bad and definitely purposely used those words to hurt me. But a part of me believes that there is still hope. A few family counseling sessions later and we can go back to living the Life I once considered a fairytale.

Im beyond destroyed by this whole situation. A part of me just wants to see them burn in hell but the other part of me believes there is still hope.

Am I really going too far? Is there still hope?

AITA for disowning my daughter and divorcing my Wife?