I've (32 M) been married to my wife Jen (32 f) for a little over 7 years now. Up until about two years ago, things were great. However, a disastrous move, a few family emergencies, and a totaled car have left us in a terrible financial situation. All our savings are pretty much gone, 401k's empty, and we're hemorrhaging money.

Before we bought our house 2 years ago, things were amazing financially. We made the mistake of buying a nice 3-bedroom house because we planned on having kids. Those plans, thankfully, got put on the back burner because adding a kid into this mess right now would kill us. It's not really a mystery why things are like this. Jen and I are both underpaid at our jobs, and we moved into a high-cost-of-living area like morons.

Last December, I told Jen one of two things needed to happen: We either sell the house or start making more money. The latter would most definitely mean finding new jobs that would pay us a market rate. Jen pushed back on this because she loved the house and her current job. I told her she had to choose one and couldn't have it both ways and after a week of arguing, she agreed we would look for new jobs.

It's been almost six months now. Last Friday, I signed an offer for a new job. It's over a 35k raise for me. Jen, however, has done nothing. In January, she asked for a raise in the market rate and was very disrespectfully told by her manager that she was not worth that. She was shown the door to leave if she wasn't happy. Jen has taken this as her putting in the effort and done nothing else. Telling me we should wait and see what happens with my job search.

I'm not happy about this, when I came home Friday and told her I got the job, she got pissy because I clarified this does not mean she can stay at her job. We fought again, and I told her that this would mean we only stop hemorrhaging money on the house. We will be able to save only a little and would still not be close to refilling our 401k's. Kids, the whole reason we got this damn house would be entirely off the table.

We haven't talked much since then. yesterday, her parents visited for dinner. Despite my best efforts to keep them out of it, Jen announced my new job to her parents by saying maybe I'll stop "complaining about money" once I start. I don't know why I said it, but I replied with, "Oh, don't worry, Jen. I won't have to worry about money a year from now because we'll be divorced by then." Things got quiet real quick after, and I excused myself. Her parents left shortly after, and she slept on the couch to avoid talking to me.

I've not talked to Jen or her parents since last night. Things are very cold between us right now, and I genuinely wonder if I did something last night that probably ruined my marriage.

My mom married my stepdad when I was 10. She was 35 and he was 47. He had a 5 year old daughter, Jen. His wife had passed away about two years earlier.

My father was in the military so him getting more than visitation wasn't really an option. I asked of I could go live with my grandparents but my mother wouldn't allow it. I honestly think she just wanted my child support. Her and I do not get along for a whole host of reasons.

Jen didn't really like me. Whatever. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose your mom at 3 years old. I tried to be friendly with her but it never worked.

I'm 19 now and just finished my first year of community college. I'm hoping to do well enough to transfer to complete my four year degree at a state college.

I just got back from camping with friends and my mom and stepdad were waiting for me. They had my journal out.

Mu private journal where I write my private thoughts. Which I keep in my room in my desk. So there is no reason for it to be out.

They want to talk to me about some of the things I wrote. I asked them what the fuck they are doing touching my things. I take my journal and go to my room. It is a fucking mess.

They decided to let Jen use it while I was gone. She decided to go through my stuff to amuse herself.

I've been trying to figure myself out and trying new things. Please do not DM me I am not interested.

I wrote about my ideas and activities just to keep it straight in my head you know. Anyway Jen decided to read my journal and then tell her father about what I wrote.

They pounded on my door telling me that we are family and that they are worried about me. That I don't need to keep secrets from them.

Fuck that.

I had already been talking to my grandma and she said I could stay with them now that I'm an adult.

My stuff was still in my car so I just grabbed what was left that mattered to me and I left.

Before I left I was screaming at them that privacy is important and that I will not be back. They kept saying that we needed to talk about the stuff I was doing in my personal life.

I just left.

And then I took them up on their very thoughtful suggestion. I posted all about their private lives to my family.

I posted about how they like to swing. How my stepdad likes to watch young guys go at my mom. All the stuff I wish I didn't know. And some of this trickled down to younger family members who know Jen. So now she knows. I had always done my best to keep it away from her.

So now they are being gossiped about and my stepdad is pissed because guys at his work know what he does. My mom won't talk to me. I'm fine with that. She preferred her more conventionally girly daughter Jen over me since they met.

I actually feel kind of shitty for Jen. She does not need to know this stuff about her dad and the woman who has been her mom for nine years. My mom and stepdad should be okay with this though since I only shared it with family.

EDIT

I posted in our family Facebook group. I didn't make a public post. Someone pointed out that is relevant.

My mom had me (17f) when she was 30. She was single and I never knew my father but I did find out more info on him two years ago after doing some online digging and didn't like what I found. But that's neither here nor there. My mom was not a good mother. She admitted to me in the past she attempted to abort me and it failed and she tried to give me up for adoption but the couple who planned to adopt me got pregnant just before I was born and so mom was like fuck it. She covered the most basic of needs for me and that was it. We did not spend time together, she hired a babysitter to do the day to day care (usually a teenager looking for money). She did not take an interest in my education. She ignored any contact from school. It was up to my babysitter to take me to medical appointments. That's just how she was. She didn't want me.

When I was 9 she met a guy and she married him. I think I was 10. They had a daughter soon after, then a son and then another daughter. I spent most of my time at friends once she got married since my mom didn't want to pay for a babysitter anymore. Worked for me. At 10 it was painful for me to see her make a family when she hadn't wanted me.

What neither of us ever expected or prepared for was the fact her kids would seek me out and want me. I try to avoid being around them where possible because I don't want to be a jerk but I don't want a relationship with them either. But they still look at me like I'm the coolest person they know and try so hard to reach out to me.

When mom realized this 4ish months ago and realized how old I am, I think she panicked and she brought me to therapy with her where she apologized for being a bad mom, admitted she had been a bad mom and begged me for a second chance so she could do better for the sake of her three kids who clearly want me to be their big sister. She said she knows we have no relationship but she doesn't want me to leave in a few months and break her kids' hearts and she sees how wrong she is. But I have refused to offer her that chance. I told her she made her choice 17 years ago and her kids best interests are not something I am worried about, just my own life and how I move forward once I'm gone.

My mom and her husband (who I guess she told) were both pretty angry I didn't consider their kids at all because at least she's trying now or whatever.

AITA?

Last night I was at a public hot spring when a family of four joined the pool I was in. After listening to them talk for a while I could tell the dad was a truck driver and had gotten off the road that day and met them at the hot spring. He asked his oldest daughter (13yo ish)  in a very sad and loving tone “awe Maria, what did you do this time?” as he touched her fresh hair cut that barley came to the bottom of her ears. The daughter didn’t answer, so the dad asked the mom. The mom responded “She knows exactly what she did and it doesn’t need to be repeated”.

After about 10 minutes the mom had enough of that pool and wanted to move to a colder one. The youngest daughter (5 yo ish) didn’t want to get out and sort of argued, as kids do, that she wanted to stay in the warm one. The mom then said “If I have to ask you again, that’s going to be at least a half inch!” and the little girl immediately grabbed the bottom of her hair, frowned, and got out of the hot pool.

Is this a common way to punish kids or did I just witness a psychopath trying to raise children?

I've been with my fiancé John for 6.5 years now. I have some older children from my previous marriage. Their dad passed when my youngest was 1. The kids are 14yo twin girls, 12yo boy and 9yo boy. My fiancé has no children.

In the 6.5 years that I have been with John he has developed a good bond with my children. They often call him dad (though not all the time). But one frequent hiccup in our relationship is his food/snack/drink quirks, which I consider selfish and ignorant. Like he will go to the store and buy him and I something and if the kids ask if he got them something, he will say no. Even if they are in the car with us there have been a few times in the past that he would get him and I a drink but not get the kids anything. He stopped doing that some years back however because I would just pass my drink back to my children and tell them to share it. He did it with good a few times as well, where he would get him and I something but not the kids. For instance, I would make pizza or something for the kids and John would decide he wanted Chinese take out and would go grab stuff and always come back with something for me as well but NEVER the children. I won't eat take out in front of my kids, so just like the car and drink thing, I would hand my food off to my kids and tell them to share it. Prior to doing this I had plenty of conversations with him about it and told him it bothered me. He said he didn't understand because the kids didn't need everything that we had. Which is true, they don't. But I'm also not going to eat or drink treats in front of my kids while they go without. To me, that's fucked up. But like I said, he stopped doing this because I would just give my stuff away and eventually, he started buying the kids drinks whenever he bought him and I something (when they were with us).

But lately he's going backwards again. It's been easily 4-5 years now since he was like this. But the other day he brought the younger two kids with him grocery shopping and those 2 kids came home with a drink and my husband handed me a drink. I asked if he had gotten anything for the older two kids and he said "no, they weren't with me". So I said "I wasn't either" and gave my drink to the older two kids. Or the other day he had gone to the store for me (with my $20) because I wanted a soda and I asked him to grab my kids Gatorade and water. He came home with two 12 packs. One case being for "me" and the other being for "him". No Gatorade, no water. The kids asked for one of the sodas and he said "no, those are mine". I asked if he used my money to buy it and he said "yes? And?" So I said, "okay, just wondering" and handed my kids one of "his" soda's (caffeine free root beer). He asked why I would do that and I said "I'm wondering why you are going backwards again and buying things for me and you only after I have specifically said I'm not okay with it." Now he's back on the argument of "the kids don't need everything that we have" and said that I'm spoiling them and that they are going to grow up entitled. My only issue with this is that I am not going to sit there and eat or drink any sort of treat (that I do not deserve or had worked for) in front of my children and tell them "nah, sorry bout your bad luck, this is mine". It's not happening. I'm not that type of parent and never will be and he's known that since day one. He doesn't pick fights about it or anything but I don't know. He still seems to think I'm wrong here. AITA?

ETA: it was my money. I won't tolerate the ignorance here. He's not financially responsible for my children. But when he uses my money to buy himself something but not my children, when I specifically said to, we have a problem. The bills are split 70/30. Me being the one who pays more. My kids aren't financially burdening him by any means and he's pulling from the joint account (80% my money) to buy these things for himself. My issue is not that he buys himself stuff with my money. If it weren't happening ALL the time, I wouldn't have an issue. But it's all the time. He says "the kids don't need anything". Well, neither does he. Neither do I. I'm not going to continuously eat treats in front of my children while they go without. I've told him this several times.

My wife of 10 years is very close to her cousin “Charlotte”. They were raised pretty much as sisters. We spend a lot of time with Charlotte and her husband, “Paul”.

Due to a chronic illness, Charlotte can conceive but she wouldn’t be able to carry a pregnancy to term. Her and Paul have discussed using a surrogate in the past, but it was always in the abstract. I never asked much as I figured it was a very sensitive topic and they’d tell me what they wanted me to know. My wife never spoke much about it either.

The topic of surrogacy was brought up again and Paul mentioned they were finally getting the ball rolling. The next day, my wife sat me down and said she was going to be their surrogate. It’d be Charlotte and Paul’s baby biologically, she’d just carry it. I was blindsided as it all sounded so definite. I was trying to keep up and ask questions. Mainly, when did this even become a discussion?

That’s when my wife told me that 15 years ago, 3 years before we even met and a long time before Charlotte met Paul, she told Charlotte when she was ready, she’d be her surrogate.

Now, I understand this is my wife’s body and if she wishes to be a surrogate, I can’t stop her. I just feel so blindsided. I brought up that we have 3 kids ourselves, jobs, etc. I wanted to discuss this more. At minimum, this should’ve come up when we were dating. My wife says Charlotte wasn’t sure if she’d ever want to use a surrogate so she didn’t want to bring it up unless it became an issue. I said yes, but clearly this has been in motion for awhile as she’s already been approved by the doctor and is ready to start hormones. She continued to treat this as not my problem.

I finally put my foot down and said she absolutely should’ve told me about this when dating or bare minimum when they began the process. I said she’s my wife, not Charlotte’s, and I need to be included in these conversations. My wife told me I’m overreacting and I know now, so that’s all that matters. AITA?

I have an 18yo daughter and a 17yo stepdaughter.

When my wife and I got married we had some agreements including that cooking will be her job since she is a SAHM and I'm the breadwinner.

The problem is that my wife makes tuna sandwiches twice a week. I don't hate tuna but at this point I'm starting to hate it because of how often I eat it. My daughter hates tuna. She is not picky. This is the only things she hates.

Well my wife claims that it's her daughter's favorite food so we need to get used to eating it.

Yesterday I come home from work, my daughter is eating a burger and fries. I hate fast food, she knows she is not allowed to eat junk food. I ask her why she is not eating the food my wife made? She says because it was tuna again. I asked my wife why she didn't cook anything else for her? She shrugs and says she already cooked one meal and won't make another meal. She then asked me for money to go shopping for herself. I tell her I gave her money yesterday so I'm not giving her more money today. If she won't do her job well then why would I do mine? Plus she just wanted money to buy a Gucci bag or something like that.

I told her since she is only doing the minimum and not feeding my child well then I'm also doing the minimum from now on, so no luxuries for her. She will only get the essentials.

She got angry and called me an asshole and said it's not her job to feed my kid. I said it's not my job to feed yours either. She is sleeping in the guest room now and won't talk to me.

Edit: After thinking about it for a while, I made my final decision. I informed my wife that from now on my daughter and I will be eating out every night. There is a very good restaurant with a diverse menu near our house that we used to go to a lot before I got married. We will be eating there from now on.

As for my wife and her daughter, since they seem to be very obsessed with tuna, PB&J, nuggets etc, that's what I will be buying for them from now on. Since my wife seems to be uninterested in good food then there is no point in buying other foods for them. That's all they get.

I will of course continue providing all the necessities for them but since she is not doing her job then I don't see a reason for her to get any luxuries. She will get a small amount of fun money and that's it.

Of course she threw a tantrum when she found out and is currently yelling at me as I'm writing this but I'm not gonna change my mind.

It's stupid to think I'm at this point but here I am. My stbx wife (28F) and I (29M) have wanted kids for years and we're thrilled when she finally got pregnant last year. From day one I wanted to be the most supportive husband and future father I could. Her father was never involved in her life. I used to work as a tech in labor and delivery, and my brother to put it kindly is not the most involved father. I saw too many problems up close when it came to lacking husband's, and I would be damned before I made the same mistakes

The problem is roughly 4 weeks into her pregnancy everything started going downhill

• She stopped wanting sex. Fair enough. Hormones and stress make that a problem I went full stop. But then she didn't want any physical interaction. No cuddling, no kissing, slowly becoming more and more distant

-Her eating constantly changed and she was terrible about it. She would demand I get her something all day then the moment I give it to her she wants something else, screaming at me. OK, again, hormonal issues I get it no problem

• she never let me to go any appointments, no groups she went to, spent more time away

-became cold and bitter. Constantly angry at me. This went on for months

-slapped me a couple times when I forgot one of her dozens of tasks she assigned me during the day. Stopped doing anything for the house a month into the pregnancy. Sure, she's pregnant, I get it moving around is hard, but she wouldn't even do laundry about 4 weeks in and by 5 weeks I did everything. I'm also the primary source of income. I barely sleep. im running on fumes.

-made me sleep in the guest room. Would always try and pick fights. I never once raised my voice, my hand, or my tone. I sat there and constantly mentally reminded myself this isn't her and this would all be worth it

-she didn't want me to make any baby decisions. No name, no work on the nursery, nothing

One month before she delivered, she yelled how fucking useless I am and how I don't do anything and that she's staying with her mother. She didn't let me get her anything, come check on her, threatened to divorce me and get a restraining order if I even called her

A couple weeks back, I found out about the birth of my son from a Facebook post. She posted it with her mother and some family. It fucking broke me. I tried to go to the hospital and visit. They had security kick me out.

After months of outright hatred, anger and abuse thrown at me 24/7, I fucking had it. Odds are im not even on the birth certificate. I opened a new account and all my deposits go there. I took half out of our joint account. She never bought baby stuff ahead of time, who knows what that money was going towards, so now that she has to buy supplies for our son she's used up every cent

I've gotten a lawyer. The house is mine, I'm the only one who spent money on it in any way. I've sent the rest of her stuff to her mother's house. I'm demanding a paternity test. Im not spending another damn cent until I get verification it's my son. Im absolutely divorcing her. She chose the stay at home life, if she cheated she's screwed. Her mother has money for a couple week stay, not even close to enough for full time support. If he is my son, I will absolutely be getting my rights as a father for a relationship.

Last week, my stbx called. She was practically hyperventilating. She wanted to come home. She was crying how it was all a mistake. She's not staying with her mother. She's at a friend's house. She wants to come home. She wants our son to have his father. I told her I don't fucking believe he is my son. Why the fuck would she pull this shit if he is? Show me a paternity test, and I'll do everything I can for him, and him only.

She wants to meet tomorrow at a park so I can talk to her. I said sure, so I can finally say everything I should have said months ago to her face. My parents are hoping we can make up, but they absolutely understand if I won't. My brother is a deadbeat jackass so I don't care what he has to say, but my sister thinks I should at least hear her out

Throwaway account because my main has personal info.

My (34F) mother (59F) has not worked for the last ~30 years. When we were little, dad worked and she was a SAHM. She refused to work even when we were older, I remember my parents fighting about it. After their divorce mom remarried almost instantly and relied on her (much older) husband, who died last year leaving everything for his adult kids and almost nothing for her.

After the death of her second husband, mom moved in with my brother and his wife. She was supposed to look after their kids while they work. This didn't work out and they are kicking her out, which is totally my mom's fault, I told her multiple times this would happen if she continued to act like she did. She was extremely mean to SIL, tried to run their household, acted like the queen, refused to watch the kids full time,which was their original agreement (she only watched them like half day twice a week and when she did she neglected them like not changing a poopy diaper for god knows how long because she was hoping SIL would be back soon and do it, which resulted in baby getting a very nasty rash, etc etc).

Now she wants to move in with me. She's claiming she'd help with the kid (I have a 2yo). I told her no, I saw what happened to my brother and SIL, you caused major issues in their marriage and I will not risk it. After all, you always told us adult children should never live with their parents (yes, we were both kicked out at 18 right after we finished school). She started crying and saying she doesn't have anywhere to go (she has until the end of the month to leave my brother's house). I told her neither did I when she kicked me out at 18 and I went to live on my friends couch but I worked and eventually rented a room so I guess that's what she should do - that's what everyone else does. She asked me to at least pay her rent until she gets back on her feet, I said no, you're a healthy working age person, you should not be freeloading (that's exactly what she told me when I was 18). We had a very big fight but I refused to let her move in or give her money. I'm sure she should still have some from her inheritance and I know for a fact my brother gave her money so I didn't feel guilty at all.

Now, multiple relatives are texting me, basically saying me and SIL are horrible people. Mom's dead husbands son called to scold me, telling me my mom is my responsibility and not theirs so I should do what's right. I do not feel guilty but perhaps that's what makes me the AH? Am I? I do feel bad about people claiming I'm a bad daughter. Mainly because my mother was never a model mom herself, she never put her kids first and was generally disinterested in us unless she needed something. I mean, if she were nice, I'd be happy to have her near

Here is the original post:

Update:

For those of you saying this is a made up story, it is not made up. This really happened and I wish I were making it up.

We went over to my parents house last night. My brother was there as well. My parents start telling me to just move on and forget about it. That my brother has told them that he is sorry for what he said, and that he says he made a mistake. I told them how can I just forget about it? and if he was as remorseful as you guys are saying, then he could have apologized to my family and me, but he has not and it has been over a week at this point.

My brother says he made fun of my baby because I made fun of him. I tell him, I responded back to you, and even if I made fun of you first, your automatic response is to make fun of the baby, and not me? You think you're justified in making fun of my baby, for no reason? He literally says yes, he is justified. My parents didn't tell him to stop. I ask him so if I made fun of your baby when you have one, would that be right? Would I be justified? He doesn't answer. I ask him about this three more times, he doesn't respond. That let me know that no, if the roles were reversed, I wouldn't be justified.

Then my brother says that he will apologize to me, if I apologize to him first. My parents tell me to apologize to him. I told them why would I ever apologize for making fun of him with a comment about him, when he was making fun of me for hours, until I snapped and responded back, and his automatic response was not to make fun of me back, but to insult my newborn. I ask them to explain why they think I need to apologize to him first, when I don't think I'm in the wrong here. They don't explain and instead start calling me a bastard, useless, etc. My mom is like families always fight, and they make up. I say, yes, families fight, siblings have arguments amongst themselves, but they don't stoop so low and start making fun of babies or children, for no reason at all. At this point I'm pissed. I tell them what kind of grandparents are you, that you are faulting me for sticking up for my baby and not tolerating him making fun of my baby. I tell them, if you think I'm wrong for sticking up for my baby, then why don't you guys call dad's brother, and apologize to him? (Sidenote: few years ago, we found out dad's brother was spreading false rumours about my brother, and my parents haven't talked to him since). I tell them dad’s brother has emailed you, said sorry, that he was wrong, so why don't you guys call him, apologize and make up? Dad starts calling me an asshole, bastard, all kinds of names. I respond back, that I am just following your line of thought.

At this point, I knew this wasn't going to be resolved, so my wife and I left. My brother hasn't apologized and I will never apologize and that's where we stand now.

I still can't believe that I am being labelled at fault for this mess. How can I be at fault for not tolerating him making fun of my baby? How can I be at fault for not wanting to apologize to him? I don't think I owe him an apology. If he can dish it, then he should be able to take it. He shouldn't have responded with making fun of my baby and that too in front of multiple people. I never thought that my family would think its okay to make fun of a newborn.

Edit:

Wow just wow. “Dad” called, I answered. He asks if Im going to be at the wedding. Told him no, why would i go after everything. He says so you want everyone to know about this? I didnt respond. He then says to me “i hope you end up on the streets”. I say how can you say that and he responds with “yea i hope you end up in the streets.” And i respond wow youre really wishing your children end up in the streets? He says “yes because you are a bastard”. I hung up. This is just too much for me. I have no interest in talking to any of them.

whoops, should say kid in title. Sorry on phone

My middle daughter (18) has anxiety. More specifically anxiety of new places or experiences. You basically have to force her to do something for the first time or she will avoid it forever.

She graduated highschool and her friends wanted to go go on a road trip. I was against it but overall she is 18 and I can’t force her not to go. I made it clear that I am not getting her if she wants to leave the trip.

Well they left Tuesday and were suppose to come back Sunday. I got a call asking her to pick me up, that she refused to go to the ocean beach and the friend group got into an argument. She is sitting in the car while everyone is on the beach. She asked me to pick her up.

I told her no, I wasn’t leaving work to grab her. I told her she either pays to take an Uber home or join her friends.

In the end she paid 250 to Uber home. After we got in a huge argument and she clearly thinks I am a jerk. So outside opinions.

Using a theowaway for obvious reasons. Just a quick background info: My wife (Heather - 36F) and I (35F) have been together for the past 14 years, and married for 10. We have two daughters ( 4 and 6 years old) together.

Heather is a doctor and she works ridiculously long hours, gets tired, etc. Yesterday she came back home after being away all day (she was on call and needed to go in for an emergency surgery), and told me she was going to sleep for a couple of hours and asked me to wake her up by dinner so she could see the girls and I a bit.

She slept around 5 PM. I tried to wake her at 7 PM. I called for her, softly shook her, gave her a kiss on the cheek but she didn't get up. I thought she needed the rest and let her sleep. Heather slept until the next morning which is when she needed to go to work.

Heather was very upset the following morning saying I should have woken her up, and that I had caused her to miss an entire day of family time. I explained that she didn't get up and she said I just should have tried harder to wake her.

I get that she wants to be present in our family (and she is) and she wants out kids to see both their moms but I just wanted to let her get some much needed sleep to help her be well rested for the next day. Was I genuinely the AH?

Please help!! I got the following email from her this morning:

• Hey [earthmark]

This is [landlord’s wife]. Things are not good between [landlord] and I. The kids and I had to leave our house last night. We are staying at my In-laws house right now. I’m thinking the kids and I might need our house in [your town] to live in. I think you need at least a 30 day notice? I’ll check the law. I’m so very sorry but the kids and I don’t have any place to live. The house in [their town] is too expensive for me, we probably will need to sell it. I tried both phone numbers for y’all.

Please text me at [her number]. Thank you very much, [landlord’s wife]

Please do not contact [landlord]*

She and her husband both own this house, but her name is not listed as the landlord on our lease, just her husband. She was not present when lease was signed. We moved into this house on a 12-month lease in 2019, and have been on a month-to-month basis since then. We are good tenants who don’t make a commotion, pay our rent on time (the couple times we haven’t we have given notice and paid it before the late fee date). Can she legally give us a notice to vacate? I of course have not contacted her at all yet, and depending on answers here, may go ahead and go against her wishes and call her husband (my landlord). We also have a child here, who if she is successful in getting us to leave, will not have anywhere to live.

Do we need to lawyer up? Start figuring out where we are going to live? Help please!!!!

ETA: We are in Louisiana.