My mom married my stepdad when I was 10. She was 35 and he was 47. He had a 5 year old daughter, Jen. His wife had passed away about two years earlier.

My father was in the military so him getting more than visitation wasn't really an option. I asked of I could go live with my grandparents but my mother wouldn't allow it. I honestly think she just wanted my child support. Her and I do not get along for a whole host of reasons.

Jen didn't really like me. Whatever. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose your mom at 3 years old. I tried to be friendly with her but it never worked.

I'm 19 now and just finished my first year of community college. I'm hoping to do well enough to transfer to complete my four year degree at a state college.

I just got back from camping with friends and my mom and stepdad were waiting for me. They had my journal out.

Mu private journal where I write my private thoughts. Which I keep in my room in my desk. So there is no reason for it to be out.

They want to talk to me about some of the things I wrote. I asked them what the fuck they are doing touching my things. I take my journal and go to my room. It is a fucking mess.

They decided to let Jen use it while I was gone. She decided to go through my stuff to amuse herself.

I've been trying to figure myself out and trying new things. Please do not DM me I am not interested.

I wrote about my ideas and activities just to keep it straight in my head you know. Anyway Jen decided to read my journal and then tell her father about what I wrote.

They pounded on my door telling me that we are family and that they are worried about me. That I don't need to keep secrets from them.

Fuck that.

I had already been talking to my grandma and she said I could stay with them now that I'm an adult.

My stuff was still in my car so I just grabbed what was left that mattered to me and I left.

Before I left I was screaming at them that privacy is important and that I will not be back. They kept saying that we needed to talk about the stuff I was doing in my personal life.

I just left.

And then I took them up on their very thoughtful suggestion. I posted all about their private lives to my family.

I posted about how they like to swing. How my stepdad likes to watch young guys go at my mom. All the stuff I wish I didn't know. And some of this trickled down to younger family members who know Jen. So now she knows. I had always done my best to keep it away from her.

So now they are being gossiped about and my stepdad is pissed because guys at his work know what he does. My mom won't talk to me. I'm fine with that. She preferred her more conventionally girly daughter Jen over me since they met.

I actually feel kind of shitty for Jen. She does not need to know this stuff about her dad and the woman who has been her mom for nine years. My mom and stepdad should be okay with this though since I only shared it with family.

EDIT

I posted in our family Facebook group. I didn't make a public post. Someone pointed out that is relevant.

My mom had me (17f) when she was 30. She was single and I never knew my father but I did find out more info on him two years ago after doing some online digging and didn't like what I found. But that's neither here nor there. My mom was not a good mother. She admitted to me in the past she attempted to abort me and it failed and she tried to give me up for adoption but the couple who planned to adopt me got pregnant just before I was born and so mom was like fuck it. She covered the most basic of needs for me and that was it. We did not spend time together, she hired a babysitter to do the day to day care (usually a teenager looking for money). She did not take an interest in my education. She ignored any contact from school. It was up to my babysitter to take me to medical appointments. That's just how she was. She didn't want me.

When I was 9 she met a guy and she married him. I think I was 10. They had a daughter soon after, then a son and then another daughter. I spent most of my time at friends once she got married since my mom didn't want to pay for a babysitter anymore. Worked for me. At 10 it was painful for me to see her make a family when she hadn't wanted me.

What neither of us ever expected or prepared for was the fact her kids would seek me out and want me. I try to avoid being around them where possible because I don't want to be a jerk but I don't want a relationship with them either. But they still look at me like I'm the coolest person they know and try so hard to reach out to me.

When mom realized this 4ish months ago and realized how old I am, I think she panicked and she brought me to therapy with her where she apologized for being a bad mom, admitted she had been a bad mom and begged me for a second chance so she could do better for the sake of her three kids who clearly want me to be their big sister. She said she knows we have no relationship but she doesn't want me to leave in a few months and break her kids' hearts and she sees how wrong she is. But I have refused to offer her that chance. I told her she made her choice 17 years ago and her kids best interests are not something I am worried about, just my own life and how I move forward once I'm gone.

My mom and her husband (who I guess she told) were both pretty angry I didn't consider their kids at all because at least she's trying now or whatever.

AITA?

It's stupid to think I'm at this point but here I am. My stbx wife (28F) and I (29M) have wanted kids for years and we're thrilled when she finally got pregnant last year. From day one I wanted to be the most supportive husband and future father I could. Her father was never involved in her life. I used to work as a tech in labor and delivery, and my brother to put it kindly is not the most involved father. I saw too many problems up close when it came to lacking husband's, and I would be damned before I made the same mistakes

The problem is roughly 4 weeks into her pregnancy everything started going downhill

• She stopped wanting sex. Fair enough. Hormones and stress make that a problem I went full stop. But then she didn't want any physical interaction. No cuddling, no kissing, slowly becoming more and more distant

-Her eating constantly changed and she was terrible about it. She would demand I get her something all day then the moment I give it to her she wants something else, screaming at me. OK, again, hormonal issues I get it no problem

• she never let me to go any appointments, no groups she went to, spent more time away

-became cold and bitter. Constantly angry at me. This went on for months

-slapped me a couple times when I forgot one of her dozens of tasks she assigned me during the day. Stopped doing anything for the house a month into the pregnancy. Sure, she's pregnant, I get it moving around is hard, but she wouldn't even do laundry about 4 weeks in and by 5 weeks I did everything. I'm also the primary source of income. I barely sleep. im running on fumes.

-made me sleep in the guest room. Would always try and pick fights. I never once raised my voice, my hand, or my tone. I sat there and constantly mentally reminded myself this isn't her and this would all be worth it

-she didn't want me to make any baby decisions. No name, no work on the nursery, nothing

One month before she delivered, she yelled how fucking useless I am and how I don't do anything and that she's staying with her mother. She didn't let me get her anything, come check on her, threatened to divorce me and get a restraining order if I even called her

A couple weeks back, I found out about the birth of my son from a Facebook post. She posted it with her mother and some family. It fucking broke me. I tried to go to the hospital and visit. They had security kick me out.

After months of outright hatred, anger and abuse thrown at me 24/7, I fucking had it. Odds are im not even on the birth certificate. I opened a new account and all my deposits go there. I took half out of our joint account. She never bought baby stuff ahead of time, who knows what that money was going towards, so now that she has to buy supplies for our son she's used up every cent

I've gotten a lawyer. The house is mine, I'm the only one who spent money on it in any way. I've sent the rest of her stuff to her mother's house. I'm demanding a paternity test. Im not spending another damn cent until I get verification it's my son. Im absolutely divorcing her. She chose the stay at home life, if she cheated she's screwed. Her mother has money for a couple week stay, not even close to enough for full time support. If he is my son, I will absolutely be getting my rights as a father for a relationship.

Last week, my stbx called. She was practically hyperventilating. She wanted to come home. She was crying how it was all a mistake. She's not staying with her mother. She's at a friend's house. She wants to come home. She wants our son to have his father. I told her I don't fucking believe he is my son. Why the fuck would she pull this shit if he is? Show me a paternity test, and I'll do everything I can for him, and him only.

She wants to meet tomorrow at a park so I can talk to her. I said sure, so I can finally say everything I should have said months ago to her face. My parents are hoping we can make up, but they absolutely understand if I won't. My brother is a deadbeat jackass so I don't care what he has to say, but my sister thinks I should at least hear her out

I have an 18yo daughter and a 17yo stepdaughter.

When my wife and I got married we had some agreements including that cooking will be her job since she is a SAHM and I'm the breadwinner.

The problem is that my wife makes tuna sandwiches twice a week. I don't hate tuna but at this point I'm starting to hate it because of how often I eat it. My daughter hates tuna. She is not picky. This is the only things she hates.

Well my wife claims that it's her daughter's favorite food so we need to get used to eating it.

Yesterday I come home from work, my daughter is eating a burger and fries. I hate fast food, she knows she is not allowed to eat junk food. I ask her why she is not eating the food my wife made? She says because it was tuna again. I asked my wife why she didn't cook anything else for her? She shrugs and says she already cooked one meal and won't make another meal. She then asked me for money to go shopping for herself. I tell her I gave her money yesterday so I'm not giving her more money today. If she won't do her job well then why would I do mine? Plus she just wanted money to buy a Gucci bag or something like that.

I told her since she is only doing the minimum and not feeding my child well then I'm also doing the minimum from now on, so no luxuries for her. She will only get the essentials.

She got angry and called me an asshole and said it's not her job to feed my kid. I said it's not my job to feed yours either. She is sleeping in the guest room now and won't talk to me.

Edit: After thinking about it for a while, I made my final decision. I informed my wife that from now on my daughter and I will be eating out every night. There is a very good restaurant with a diverse menu near our house that we used to go to a lot before I got married. We will be eating there from now on.

As for my wife and her daughter, since they seem to be very obsessed with tuna, PB&J, nuggets etc, that's what I will be buying for them from now on. Since my wife seems to be uninterested in good food then there is no point in buying other foods for them. That's all they get.

I will of course continue providing all the necessities for them but since she is not doing her job then I don't see a reason for her to get any luxuries. She will get a small amount of fun money and that's it.

Of course she threw a tantrum when she found out and is currently yelling at me as I'm writing this but I'm not gonna change my mind.

Throwaway account because my main has personal info.

My (34F) mother (59F) has not worked for the last ~30 years. When we were little, dad worked and she was a SAHM. She refused to work even when we were older, I remember my parents fighting about it. After their divorce mom remarried almost instantly and relied on her (much older) husband, who died last year leaving everything for his adult kids and almost nothing for her.

After the death of her second husband, mom moved in with my brother and his wife. She was supposed to look after their kids while they work. This didn't work out and they are kicking her out, which is totally my mom's fault, I told her multiple times this would happen if she continued to act like she did. She was extremely mean to SIL, tried to run their household, acted like the queen, refused to watch the kids full time,which was their original agreement (she only watched them like half day twice a week and when she did she neglected them like not changing a poopy diaper for god knows how long because she was hoping SIL would be back soon and do it, which resulted in baby getting a very nasty rash, etc etc).

Now she wants to move in with me. She's claiming she'd help with the kid (I have a 2yo). I told her no, I saw what happened to my brother and SIL, you caused major issues in their marriage and I will not risk it. After all, you always told us adult children should never live with their parents (yes, we were both kicked out at 18 right after we finished school). She started crying and saying she doesn't have anywhere to go (she has until the end of the month to leave my brother's house). I told her neither did I when she kicked me out at 18 and I went to live on my friends couch but I worked and eventually rented a room so I guess that's what she should do - that's what everyone else does. She asked me to at least pay her rent until she gets back on her feet, I said no, you're a healthy working age person, you should not be freeloading (that's exactly what she told me when I was 18). We had a very big fight but I refused to let her move in or give her money. I'm sure she should still have some from her inheritance and I know for a fact my brother gave her money so I didn't feel guilty at all.

Now, multiple relatives are texting me, basically saying me and SIL are horrible people. Mom's dead husbands son called to scold me, telling me my mom is my responsibility and not theirs so I should do what's right. I do not feel guilty but perhaps that's what makes me the AH? Am I? I do feel bad about people claiming I'm a bad daughter. Mainly because my mother was never a model mom herself, she never put her kids first and was generally disinterested in us unless she needed something. I mean, if she were nice, I'd be happy to have her near

My wife of 10 years is very close to her cousin “Charlotte”. They were raised pretty much as sisters. We spend a lot of time with Charlotte and her husband, “Paul”.

Due to a chronic illness, Charlotte can conceive but she wouldn’t be able to carry a pregnancy to term. Her and Paul have discussed using a surrogate in the past, but it was always in the abstract. I never asked much as I figured it was a very sensitive topic and they’d tell me what they wanted me to know. My wife never spoke much about it either.

The topic of surrogacy was brought up again and Paul mentioned they were finally getting the ball rolling. The next day, my wife sat me down and said she was going to be their surrogate. It’d be Charlotte and Paul’s baby biologically, she’d just carry it. I was blindsided as it all sounded so definite. I was trying to keep up and ask questions. Mainly, when did this even become a discussion?

That’s when my wife told me that 15 years ago, 3 years before we even met and a long time before Charlotte met Paul, she told Charlotte when she was ready, she’d be her surrogate.

Now, I understand this is my wife’s body and if she wishes to be a surrogate, I can’t stop her. I just feel so blindsided. I brought up that we have 3 kids ourselves, jobs, etc. I wanted to discuss this more. At minimum, this should’ve come up when we were dating. My wife says Charlotte wasn’t sure if she’d ever want to use a surrogate so she didn’t want to bring it up unless it became an issue. I said yes, but clearly this has been in motion for awhile as she’s already been approved by the doctor and is ready to start hormones. She continued to treat this as not my problem.

I finally put my foot down and said she absolutely should’ve told me about this when dating or bare minimum when they began the process. I said she’s my wife, not Charlotte’s, and I need to be included in these conversations. My wife told me I’m overreacting and I know now, so that’s all that matters. AITA?

I (16m) make my own lunch for school. I started making them when I was 11 and my mom was sick with cancer and now I make all my lunches. My dad refuses to give me lunch money for school, said no way in hell to making them (mom made his and now he pays for lunch every day) and doesn't want to give me permission to eat outside school (which is an option with parents consent) because he'd need pay for that. So I make them. I work part time and so I started paying for the ingredients I use in my lunches.

My dad got married 2ish years ago. His wife has three kids who are 5, 7 and 8 now.

For about a year there's been this issue where my dad and his wife want me to make all four lunches. They said if I'm making my own I should make my "siblings" (and I say "siblings" because they're not my sibling) lunches too to save their mom time and to streamline everything. I was like no and my dad's wife was shocked. She called me out for making stuff only for myself. She said it's crazy that I would look at my "siblings" and not want to make a few things for them too.

It escalated to where they said I shouldn't get to eat their dinners if I won't participate in taking care of the family. So I buy my own dinner stuff now and make my own. Now they're calling me out for doing that. They said I could make dinner for all four of us and then we could eat dinner earlier and my dad and his wife could do something else.

My dad's wife didn't make lunches for her kids on several occasions to try and make me relent. Their teachers ended up feeding them and writing to her about it. She was super pissed and asked me if I was ashamed. I told her they're her kids and her problem, not mine. I also suggested she take it up with my dad if she's unhappy and wants help feeding her kids because it's not my job. She said if dad won't feed me, he won't feed her kids. I shrugged her off.

Monday was a big day in all of this. I was home for hours alone and made a nice dinner. I was eating when my dad's wife came home with her kids, who were hungry and she exploded on me and asked if I'd made the kids dinner. I said no. She demanded to make it up to them I make them lunch for Tuesday (yesterday) and I said no. She called me a bunch of names and told me she fucking hates me because I'm supposed to be a decent kid and yet I won't help feed her kids and it's not how you treat family. I told her because it's not my job and we're not a family. I pointed out she married a guy who isn't a good dad to his own kid, and how her only interactions with said kid were attempting to dump responsibility onto him (me) so she really has no reason to think I owe her anything. Which of course let her to calling me all kinds of things, including an ass.

AITA?

Here is the original post:

Update:

For those of you saying this is a made up story, it is not made up. This really happened and I wish I were making it up.

We went over to my parents house last night. My brother was there as well. My parents start telling me to just move on and forget about it. That my brother has told them that he is sorry for what he said, and that he says he made a mistake. I told them how can I just forget about it? and if he was as remorseful as you guys are saying, then he could have apologized to my family and me, but he has not and it has been over a week at this point.

My brother says he made fun of my baby because I made fun of him. I tell him, I responded back to you, and even if I made fun of you first, your automatic response is to make fun of the baby, and not me? You think you're justified in making fun of my baby, for no reason? He literally says yes, he is justified. My parents didn't tell him to stop. I ask him so if I made fun of your baby when you have one, would that be right? Would I be justified? He doesn't answer. I ask him about this three more times, he doesn't respond. That let me know that no, if the roles were reversed, I wouldn't be justified.

Then my brother says that he will apologize to me, if I apologize to him first. My parents tell me to apologize to him. I told them why would I ever apologize for making fun of him with a comment about him, when he was making fun of me for hours, until I snapped and responded back, and his automatic response was not to make fun of me back, but to insult my newborn. I ask them to explain why they think I need to apologize to him first, when I don't think I'm in the wrong here. They don't explain and instead start calling me a bastard, useless, etc. My mom is like families always fight, and they make up. I say, yes, families fight, siblings have arguments amongst themselves, but they don't stoop so low and start making fun of babies or children, for no reason at all. At this point I'm pissed. I tell them what kind of grandparents are you, that you are faulting me for sticking up for my baby and not tolerating him making fun of my baby. I tell them, if you think I'm wrong for sticking up for my baby, then why don't you guys call dad's brother, and apologize to him? (Sidenote: few years ago, we found out dad's brother was spreading false rumours about my brother, and my parents haven't talked to him since). I tell them dad’s brother has emailed you, said sorry, that he was wrong, so why don't you guys call him, apologize and make up? Dad starts calling me an asshole, bastard, all kinds of names. I respond back, that I am just following your line of thought.

At this point, I knew this wasn't going to be resolved, so my wife and I left. My brother hasn't apologized and I will never apologize and that's where we stand now.

I still can't believe that I am being labelled at fault for this mess. How can I be at fault for not tolerating him making fun of my baby? How can I be at fault for not wanting to apologize to him? I don't think I owe him an apology. If he can dish it, then he should be able to take it. He shouldn't have responded with making fun of my baby and that too in front of multiple people. I never thought that my family would think its okay to make fun of a newborn.

Edit:

Wow just wow. “Dad” called, I answered. He asks if Im going to be at the wedding. Told him no, why would i go after everything. He says so you want everyone to know about this? I didnt respond. He then says to me “i hope you end up on the streets”. I say how can you say that and he responds with “yea i hope you end up in the streets.” And i respond wow youre really wishing your children end up in the streets? He says “yes because you are a bastard”. I hung up. This is just too much for me. I have no interest in talking to any of them.

My firm recently merged with a larger firm. I'm the boss's EA. Some admin from the larger firm asked me if I could upload some of our old contracts. I said I'd work on it. She said she needed it in two weeks (tomorrow).

I had some, but not all, the contracts. Maybe 33% and I uploaded them the next day. No small feat given my workload. I assumed the other lawyers on my team had the rest. They only had a few and that just got uploaded yesterday. I didn't know what they had until they went through their files and they're busy. The rest, I assume, is with my boss.

I had planned on taking tomorrow off and today is my WFH day. Since my boss is in meetings all day and leaving early, I'm not going to get time to finish this project as I need to discuss with her to find the missing contracts. Even if she wasn't busy, I'm not driving to the office after putting in 11 hour workdays this week.

I told my coworker that she's going to have to wait until next week because my boss is too busy today and I'm off tomorrow. She asked if I wasn't off tomorrow then would I be able to finish the project. I said probably. She asked me to cancel my day off lol

I told her that's not happening. I don't work for you, I work for my boss and she didn't give me this assignment. I'm helping you out. Besides, what difference does it matter if it gets done tomorrow at the end of the day or on Tuesday? I did what I could do.

She got mad at me and complained how this was setting her work back. I said you wouldn't have one contract if you asked anyone else to help you out. I told her that my boss said it will have to wait until next week and if she has a problem with it then take it up with her and have a great weekend.

Last night I was at a public hot spring when a family of four joined the pool I was in. After listening to them talk for a while I could tell the dad was a truck driver and had gotten off the road that day and met them at the hot spring. He asked his oldest daughter (13yo ish)  in a very sad and loving tone “awe Maria, what did you do this time?” as he touched her fresh hair cut that barley came to the bottom of her ears. The daughter didn’t answer, so the dad asked the mom. The mom responded “She knows exactly what she did and it doesn’t need to be repeated”.

After about 10 minutes the mom had enough of that pool and wanted to move to a colder one. The youngest daughter (5 yo ish) didn’t want to get out and sort of argued, as kids do, that she wanted to stay in the warm one. The mom then said “If I have to ask you again, that’s going to be at least a half inch!” and the little girl immediately grabbed the bottom of her hair, frowned, and got out of the hot pool.

Is this a common way to punish kids or did I just witness a psychopath trying to raise children?

Hi Reddit, I am a long-time lurker but honestly have turned to posting to finally figure out whether or not I am in the asshole in this situation because I am at my wits’ end. My husband (34M) and I (32F) have been together since high school, and we’ve been married for eight years. We’ve always had a strong relationship, but there’s one person who constantly causes issues – his mother.

Let’s call her MILzilla. Ever since we started dating, MILzilla has been a nightmare. At first, it was little things, like making snide comments about my clothes or how I wasn’t good enough for her precious son. But I had a slither of hope these comments would perhaps go away but over the years, it has escalated to a point where I literally can’t take it anymore.

Here are just some examples:

Our Wedding: She had the AUDACITY to wear a white dress to our wedding and made a big scene during the ceremony. She pretended to faint to draw attention away from us. I could go way more into this absurd story but it’s not relevant.

Pregnancy: When I got pregnant with our first child, she kept insisting that she should move in to “help” because I “wouldn’t know what to do.” I put my foot down and said no, but she started showing up UNANNOUNCED almost daily, criticizing everything I did.

Parenting: She constantly undermines my parenting decisions, from what our kids eat to how we discipline them. She even told our daughter that she could have ice cream for breakfast if she asked Grandma instead of Mommy.

My husband has always been a bit of a mama’s boy. He insists that she means well and that I should just let it go. He never stands up to her, and it’s caused a lot of tension between us. I’ve tried to be patient and understand that he’s in a tough spot, but last weekend was the final straw.

We were hosting a small family gathering for our daughter’s birthday. Everything was going well until MILzilla decided to give our daughter a puppy as a “surprise gift” without asking us first. I believe gifting someone an animal, especially someone’s child is just completely inconsiderate without asking the parents first. Our daughter has allergies, and we had explicitly told everyone that we couldn’t have pets. When I confronted her, she turned on the waterworks, claiming I was trying to ruin her relationship with her granddaughter.

I completely LOST it. I yelled at her in front of everyone, telling her that she was selfish and manipulative and that if she didn’t start respecting our boundaries, she wouldn’t be welcome in our lives anymore. She stormed out, and now my husband has been thoroughly furious with me. He says I overreacted and should apologize to MIL to keep the peace.

My husband and I have had many conversations about his mother over the years. I've tried counseling, both individually and as a couple, but he’s always made excuses for her. This was not a sudden outburst but the result of years of built-up frustration.

Reddit, I’m so tired. I love my husband. But I just can’t keep living like this. I’ve tried to set boundaries, but they’re constantly ignored. I told my husband that if he doesn’t start supporting me and standing up to his mother, I’m seriously considering filing for a divorce. But now he’s accusing me of being manipulative and giving him an ultimatum.

So, AITAH for snapping at my MIL and threatening to leave my husband over this?

Please help!! I got the following email from her this morning:

• Hey [earthmark]

This is [landlord’s wife]. Things are not good between [landlord] and I. The kids and I had to leave our house last night. We are staying at my In-laws house right now. I’m thinking the kids and I might need our house in [your town] to live in. I think you need at least a 30 day notice? I’ll check the law. I’m so very sorry but the kids and I don’t have any place to live. The house in [their town] is too expensive for me, we probably will need to sell it. I tried both phone numbers for y’all.

Please text me at [her number]. Thank you very much, [landlord’s wife]

Please do not contact [landlord]*

She and her husband both own this house, but her name is not listed as the landlord on our lease, just her husband. She was not present when lease was signed. We moved into this house on a 12-month lease in 2019, and have been on a month-to-month basis since then. We are good tenants who don’t make a commotion, pay our rent on time (the couple times we haven’t we have given notice and paid it before the late fee date). Can she legally give us a notice to vacate? I of course have not contacted her at all yet, and depending on answers here, may go ahead and go against her wishes and call her husband (my landlord). We also have a child here, who if she is successful in getting us to leave, will not have anywhere to live.

Do we need to lawyer up? Start figuring out where we are going to live? Help please!!!!

ETA: We are in Louisiana.

I (34F) don’t like my husband's youngest sister (30F). She is the baby and acts like a brat. Everyone coddles/caters to her. I have seen her throw tantrums, flip out on family, make her mom cry, and pout because she didn't get her way, lost at a game, etc. Thankfully she lives 3.5 hours away. I like my MIL and other SIL. We'll call the one getting married Tia.

I was fine with Em (will be 3 at time of wedding) being flower girl despite the logistics stressing me out. Wedding is 3.5 hours away. We need to go up night before for rehearsal, and setup next day. Wedding is at 5pm. It would be a long day for Em. She's shy around big groups. I doubt she'll walk down the aisle when it's time. At my wedding, I had my nieces as flower girls. 3yo was excited until it was time and then freaked out. Her mom carried her. Tia later commented that it ruined it. Tia also took control of things I asked not to happen. After ceremony, we had pictures. Food was to be put out for guests. I didn't want them waiting on us. Tia knew that but still told people they had to wait for us and she would dismiss them by table. When we returned I was annoyed and told people to get food. Tia got pissy and said she was dismissing them.

During the bouquet toss, my cousin caught it. Tia ripped it from her hands. Tia's now fiance got upset for the way she acted. My MOH witnessed him telling Tia that wasn't cool and Tia threw the bouquet at his face and stomped off. Back to the point. We found out the wedding is kid-free. They want to party without kids. That's fine and dandy. I love a night off from being mom. We also have 11M and 15F I adopted before I met my husband. In my family we have lots of blending and there is no such thing as half or step or whatever. Nobody gets treated differently. My in-laws use words like "real" when describing family. I don't like it. I didn't like when Tia wished me a happy FIRST mother's day after I had my bio daughter.

Tia said she expects Em to leave after the ceremony. That I should get my mom to come, or bring our babysitter who could stay with her at the airbnb. My mom doesn't want to. She’ll have the other 2 kids since they aren’t in the wedding. She doesn't want to make the drive. My babysitter has a prior commitment. I told my MIL and Tia that Em was not going to be in the wedding or my husband and I would leave early. They are pissed. They want me to find someone else. (My 15yo can't do it because she’s autistic.) They suggested Tia find someone where she lives. I said no. Outside of family, only our babysitter has ever stayed with Em. I am picky. The wedding is two months away. I could look for someone, but I don't want to. My husband agrees that the best solution is for Em to stay with my parents, but he won’t tell them. So, AITA if I say Em won't be in the wedding?